BEND DON’T BREAK

This Is a story of a boy that goes through multiple things

in his life that could crush anyone. But Not him he tells

you how he was able to deal with certain situations that

occurred in his life . He compares himself to other

characters in different books like “Easter Rising” with

Michael Patrick MacDonald.

Bouncing Back

Julon McCoy

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Chapter 1

My mother had me at a very young age, 17 to be exact. Since she was so young I was essentially

my grandmother’s responsibility. As a kid I shared a room with my cousins but I never slept in it. I always

slept in my grandmother’s bed; that’s the type of bond we had. That bond would be broken the summer

I turned six years old’ I would experience my first real tragedy of my life.

In time of need people’s true colors are show. In other words how some acts during a tragedy or

crisis say a lot about them and what they really stand for. Throughout everyone’s lives a tragedy or crisis

happens. However not everyone responds to it the same way. I am going to share with you one of my

many interesting moments in my life and how my family and I handled this moment.

In my early childhood my grandmother,(Joyce McCoy), had been the one to take care of me

mainly. She handled all of the disciplinary actions; made sure I went to school and taught me simple

things like to tie a shoe, dress myself, and more. When I was learning how to tie a shoe she showed me

how to do it one time and after that she said if you tie your shoes you can go outside and play, and if I

didn’t tie it I had to stay inside. As a kid I’m thinking, “how in the hell am I supposed to tie this shoe

without her walking me through it?” Even though I had about a week of staying inside because I could

not figure out how to tie my shoes, when I think back on her way of teaching me it was rather

productive because I wanted to go out and play so bad I just taught myself. Grandma gave a lot of tough

love but at the end of the day she always made sure I knew it was love.

I always felt like somewhat of a favorite amongst my other cousins because I was the only one

to always sleep in my grandmother’s bed. If I was not at school I was doing something with her most of

the time. It wasn’t like she ignored the other but she paid extra attention to me, she was my best friend.

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My other cousins kid of despised me because of that but it didn’t really bother me as long as I had her

by my side.

I mentioned that my grandmother and I slept side by side every night. It was the best had a king

sized bed and I will always remember that bed because nothing matched on it. The pillows were purple,

the sheets red, the blanket white, and everything was just mismatched. Every morning I would wake up

and my grandmother would be out of the bed making breakfast or cleaning the house. I would always

role to the left and lay in her spot because it was way warmer than where I had been laying. About an

hour after I had rolled into her spot she would always come back and get me to eat or just to wake me

up.

My grandmother an di went to sleep one night just like every other night. I woke up and she

wasn’t there so I rolled to the left like I always do. As I laid there thinking how unbelievably warm it was

in her spot on the bed as opposed to mine. I had noticed I had been laying there for about 2 and a half

hours and she had not come back to wake me up. I lay down for a little while longer. Eventually I

decided to go see why she did not come to wake me up like she did every single day. I swing my feet to

the left to get out of the bed and I feel something really hard under my feet. I get of the bed and I see m

grandmother lying face down on the floor. Now I remind you I am a six year old at the time, and not

really sure of what to do in this situation. I thought she was sleeping I tried to wake her and nothing

happened. About 5 minutes has gone by since I found her an di started to get scared so I go and wake

my mother up and tell her that grandma wont wake up and that she had been sleeping on the floor. My

mom goes down stairs to see what I am talking about; she walks in my grandmother’s room and kneels

down next to her. While my mother was in the room I waited at the door looking in. It was then when I

saw my mother start to cry and tell me to go upstairs and sit with my older sister.

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The next I knew the police and an ambulance were at my house and my grandmother was being

carried out of the house. I am seeing all of this and I start to cry. Not because I realized my grandmother

had passed away and I would never see her again because I had not yet realized that. I cried because I

was so confused on what was going on and I didn’t know why my mom and uncles were crying. It was

not till the funeral that I realized I would never get to sleep next to my grandmother again and that she

was gone. I cried a lot, and everyone in my family knew that I had taken it the hardest.

My family was really worried about me because they knew how much I had loved my

grandmother. Thankfully my family and I rallied together and comforted on another whenever someone

needed it. My aunts, uncles and mother had put in time with me to keep my busy and try to keep my

mind away from thinking about my grandmother all the time.

In the time of need my family stayed together and strong and for that I am thankful because it

would have been really easy to just have everyone cope with it on their own. That says a lot about my

family and me and what we stand for; we work better as aunt rather than a bunch of individuals under

one roof.

As a six year old whose grandmother had just passed away. I was at rock bottom. I know I was

only six year old but I took it really hard. Some people say I took it harder than anyone in the family. I

mean after all I was with her every single day. Sleeping in her bed, going to the corner store with her,

and to find her the way I did, I was shocked.

Time went by I was really depressed. I never gained enough courage to go back into my

grandmother’s room even until this day, Dam near 12 years later. As crazy as it seems and as far as I

have came in life I still wouldn’t be able to step foot in that room. Although she was gone from my life

she will never be gone from my thoughts.

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One thing she always told me was “Bend Don’t Break”. To this very day I apply that to almost

every situation in my life including this one. I knew I would bounce back.

Chapter 2

Most kid’s childhoods consist of making friends. Some Friends that will last a life time and others

that will eventually become acquaintances. Their childhood probably included some type of loyalty to

their town because that where they are from and have lived their lives. They probably developed some

type of comfort because they always knew everyone around them. My childhood was the complete

opposite of most kids.

When I was six years old my grandmother passed away. Since she was the owner of the house

we all lived in everyone had to find another place to live. All my cousins stayed in New York but my

mother being suck a dramatic woman. She felt like she had to get out of New York City for a little while.

So me and my family picked up and moved to Massachusetts but that never work out well. Once I got to

mass I instantly felt like an outsider. I thought everyone was weird and I was the only normal one. I

thought people talked funny because they wouldn’t pronounce their R’s in word like car, Harvard or

yard.

My mom struggled trying to figure out where she wanted to live so we moved back and forth

between New York and Massachusetts for quite some time. Most of our time was spent in New York

though. Finally in the 8th grade my mother made up her mind that we were going to live in New York.

That year was one of the most confusing years of my life. My mother had no money so we had to check

into a homeless shelter. The first home we were placed in was gross there were roaches everywhere the

lighting was awful and it was unbelievably hot, not exactly your idea of a “home”.

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We went on to move around from home to home within the homeless shelter program until my

mom mad enough money to get back on her feet. Most of the homes were the same kind of gross

looking and no place would you ever want to live. The last home however was one of the better ones it

was a new building in the Bronx New York. The home had hard wood floors big windows nice bathroom

and just a much better place all around.

The Bronx had been the 4th place we were moved to within a few months, this was really hard

for me because every time we changed homes I had to switch schools, so my 8th grade year I went to 4

different middle schools in New York alone. And in the city of New York it is not exactly easy to make

friends and keep them. On top of that I was moving every two months. Every school I went though I had

to start all over with the feeling I didn’t belong there. Lunch was always the worst part just getting

stared at as you get your food or as you eat and wondering where to sit, it was a nightmare.

It was not till my mom got enough money to get out of the homeless program till I actually felt

like I belonged somewhere. Once we were on our own feet we moved back to Queens. I was enrolled in

PS 226 middle school where I was finally able to make friends and keep them. I eventually had plenty of

friends but mainly it was me and 4 other kids, Joseph, Jabrill, Ignacio and Manny. We were always

together people called us the starting five, it’s kind of funny when I think about it. I am glad I got to

settle down for a little bit before moving again because I still talk to those kids. However, when it is all

said and done I think fitting into a group of a place is hard thing to do especially if the kid is at a young

age.

Although this was really hard for a twelve or thirteen year old kid to deal with I kept my head

up. I never really knew where I would end up I just knew it would be somewhere in New York City at

either a shelter or a house I could call my own. I just continued to do whatever my mother told me to do

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while thinking “bend don’t break”. I am very grateful that my mom was able to land on her feet. Also I

am grateful for making friends I was able to keep. I knew I would bounce back.

I met a lot of people in my journey of moving from school to school and borrow to borrow. It

really reminds me of Michael Patrick Macdonald in “Easter Rising” He does a lot of wild thing and meets

a lot of different people. Considering the things he is going through he did not have to be nice to any of

the new people he met. But he accepted them all, and I believe that is a key part of him rebounding

from deaths in his family.

Chapter 3

In the book “Easter rising”, Michael Patrick Macdonald goes through many experiences in life

that helps him become a more accepting person.

Ever since the death of Macdonald’s brother he has tried to be different and has been.

Macdonald is a lot more excepting towards other people than other member of his family and friends

are. It’s like he always had time to stop and talk to someone no matter what they were like, tall, shot,

black, or white. Even though at that point southie was dominated by whites and if you were black you

really weren’t liked at all, so southie was essentially racist at this time. Macdonald didn’t really believe in

all of that though. There is a point in the book where Macdonald is at the Lib with one of his friends

waiting for Johnny Rotten to come out. Macdonald who is looking out the window hells “There he

goes!”. Instead of talking about Johnny he is talking about a kid that is known around the way as “Disco

Train”. Disco was normal looking black teenager who thought he was a train and carried a record playing

disco music and screaming “Choo, Choooooo”. When Macdonald told his friend to look his friend to look

his friend was disappointed to look in see the black kid who thought he was a train. But when

Macdonald looks at him he describes him in such detail and actually says he wonders what it like to be

Disco, to be filled with happiness all the time and not care what was going on around you. It was almost

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like he admired that fact that Disco did what he wanted and didn’t care about what people thought.

While other people would look at Disco and think something like” what the hell is wrong with this kid?”.

I just find it amusing that at such an impressionable age he isn’t putting up a wall between blacks and

whites even though everyone else around him is.

After the scene with Disco, the guy that they had been originally waiting for came outside.

Johnny Rotten was now in Macdonald’s site. Macdonald and his friend hopped up to go see him while

thinking in the back of their heads what were they going to say to someone that had been known to be

an asshole. The follow Mr. Rotten down the street and he spots them and looks and that and says

“Wouldja Piss Off!”. He actually says the same thing to them the next day when they go back to see

him. What’s interesting about this is most 14 year old kids would be crushed if one of their favorite

artists told them to piss off. Macdonald on the other hand was Happy in a way, he says he would be

disappointed if Johnny Rotten reacted any other way because that’s who he was, an asshole.

Earlier that day Macdonald found himself talking to the Library’s regulars. The “Regulars” were a

group of homeless people that always hung out around the Library. He came up with nick names for

every one of them. There was Scary marry, peter pan, the purple lady and more. These people would all

talk to MacDonald but never to each other. Some would actually talk about one another behind their

backs. But that is beside the point, I mention this because as a young child when you see these run

down people more often than not it would scare you and you would be quick to judge but Macdonald

doesn’t, he talks to them.

A few days later Macdonald goes to a “concert” where he listens to a Jamaican guy poor his

heart out despite the fact that a lot of the people at the show are making it know they do not like the

music that is being provided. Macdonald is one of the only ones that enjoy it; he says that the music

reminds him of his grandfather. And he admires the guy for signing from his heart even though the

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people don’t like his music. At this show he sees a girl with Dreads and thinks to himself how cool it is

while everyone else thinks the opposite.

I choose this topic because I think being able to accept people for who they are and understand

where other people are coming from is one of the biggest problems that people have to day. People are

very quick to judge someone without knowing anything about them. And I think for Macdonald to be so

accepting for a 14 year old kid is unbelievable and I admire someone like that

It would have been really easy for Macdonald to just say he heated everyone and go into a really

negative state of mind. However he didn’t that, I feel like both Macdonald and myself should have pride

in our ability to bounce back from a situation that life throws at you.

Chapter 4

Michael MacDonald deals with a lot of different things in the book Easter Rising, from the loss of

four of his siblings to the violence, poverty, and gangsterism of south Boston. The book focuses on how

he tried his hardest to stay away from the life and get out of a “normal” Irish south Boston lifestyle, to

stay away from the norm. I can appreciate how someone like Macdonald would want to make his own

identity and not be like what he sees every day. I too have been like this all my life, not wanting to be

like everyone around me, wanting to stand out and let people know I am me regardless of where I am

from because that does not define someone as a person.

South Boston in the 1970’s and 80’s is a city dominated by Irish people who really don’t care for

other that aren’t like them. It is known to be very racist and filled with loud arrogant people. This is

where MacDonald is from and he is not quick to tell people that at all. You can see why he is so

desperate to avoid the normal life of an individual growing up in south Boston.

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Wanting to be different so bad MacDonald looks to punk rock music as a past time. No one else

was into the whole punk rock seen outside of a few of MacDonald’s friends and himself this is why it was

so different than what people normally do in South Boston at the time. MacDonald was no average fan

however; MacDonald did not just listen to the music like the average teen would do. MacDonald went

out of his way to dress like certain artist’s. He would cut his hair blind just so he had no type of “style”;

he would also ware really dingy clothing like old plaid shirts and jeans with holes in them, and big bulky

boots. He would go to shows all the time and at this place called the “Rat” he practically lived there on

weekends according to him.

MacDonald separating himself though music was not the only way to chooses to stand out.

There were more important things to me than really let me know he does not care what other people

think of him and let me know how he really does not want to act as a person from South Boston

normally would. One of these instances is a point in time where MacDonald is hanging out at the library.

Before he goes to the library he witnesses a kid who is known as Disco Train coming down the street and

doing his regular routine which is dancing around to a beat that play sin his head, he dances as if no one

is watching and he is all alone in his room looking in a mirror. Other people on the street looked at disco

like he was a total nut job but not MacDonald he looked at disco as if he admired what he did and how

disco had the courage to stand out in such a dramatic way.

After the scene with disco dancing to an imaginary beat in his head MacDonald and his friend

enter the library. MacDonald goes on to explain how there is a group of people that are homeless

known as “The regulars” that hang around the library. Whenever Macdonald goes there he interacts

with them he even took the time to give them all nick names as you know. The main focus here is how

he accepts these people; he is a young teenager at the time talking to homeless people. The fact that he

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complete opposite at such a young age really speaks highly of him and his determination to not let

where he is from define him.

Macdonald and I share something when referring to this topic of not letting where you are from

define you and wanting to be different than most people around you. I am from Queens, New York,

unless you lived in New York for the most part people think you’re from the hood, and when they think

that they make more assumptions about you, things like “they must be a gangster at least”. It really

bothers me to be label as such things especially when some people have no idea what I am actually like.

I am not a gangster at all and I let people know that all the time, just because I dress a certain way and

do things a certain way does not make me a gangster.

I grew up in New York and growing up I always did things a lot differently because of the way I

was raised. The average kid in New York is raised to be tough an don’t take crap from anyone and all

that good stuff. Me on the other hand, my mother raised me like that but she also told me to never

sweat the small stuff. So while other people were fighting because someone stepped on their shoe I

would simply bend down and brush the dirt of my shoe like a logical person would do. It’s these things

that made some people really like me and others not so much.

I am the type of person that thinks things through, almost too much but I like to know what I am

getting myself into and how it is going to affect me in the future. So in New York there is a lot of

unwritten rules, if a person does one thing you are expected to do another thing to get even. More

often than not you are expected to fight them and if you didn’t you are viewed as “soft”. I was never

one that was quick to fight unless I had to so if my girlfriend cheated on me with some guy I was not

going to fight him I was the type to just shrug my shoulders and say oh well.

As you can see, because I did not want to live this “gangster” life style that people associate with

inner city kids, I had a lot to overcome. It is very hard to be different and I know from first had

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experience how hard it can be to stick out so much. This is why I admire MacDonald for sticking his neck

out and being so different and willing to do it, I think everyone should be who they want to be and not

be so quick to change what they want to do because someone else does not approve.