December 2019

January 2020

February 2020

A new year without a loved one poses many different challenges.

You may have managed, with tears and longing, to get through Christmas without your loved one but you may be surprised that New Year’s Eve as well as the new year may be emotionally confusing and difficult.

You may have been anticipating some relief in leaving behind a year marked with memories of loss and pain but may find the new year does not live up to your expectations; instead you may be feeling some anxiety or apprehension.

Understand that the coming year also marks time without your loved one.

This will be a time when you will start to create memories which do not include your loved one so do not underestimate the power of this process as you strive to move through your grief.

Be sure to be gentle with yourself and try these resolutions for the coming year:

➢ Be courageous and review the last year—including the pain, the challenges as well as the ‘gifts’

➢ Do not compare your grief journey with others or where you believe you “ought” to be; each grief journey is unique; accept you are where you are supposed to be

➢ Give yourself permission to “not be your usual self’ right now” do things differently if you wish

➢ Get plenty of rest; slow down, stop, relax or sleep; it can all be very restorative since grieving requires a lot of energy

➢ Exercise gently; go for walks, stretch, try yoga, deep breathing or meditation

➢ Make healthy food choices and drink plenty of water ➢ Surround yourself with those who are supportive of your grief

and who do not try to “hurry” you through it ➢ Be tolerant, gentle and patient with yourself; your body and soul

naturally want to heal, so allow that to unfold one day at a time

The beginning of the New Year is so often attached with great expectations and when you are facing it without the presence of a loved one it can sometimes seem overwhelming. Be sure to be kind to yourself and take the necessary time you need to grieve.

Christine MacMillan, MSW, RSW

FACING A NEW YEAR AFTER THE DEATH OF A LOVED ONE

Greetings Friends,

Hope believes that a source of strength

and renewal lies within to lead us

through the dark to the light.

The Holiday Season is around the corner, and I sense people’s anxiety levels rising at the thought of it. Christmas can be one of the most difficult times of the year for the bereaved, so we want to offer gentle thoughts and insights to support you through this time. This Newsletter is filled with readings, ideas, events and insights to encourage the Bereaved. We pray that as you read, you will feel a sense of Hope well up within you. There is hope in facing this season of winter and embracing it for what it truly means. This is a season that is focused on Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love. It is OUR great Hope for you that THESE are the gifts you open this season. Please know that this Newsletter comes wrapped up in love and best wishes.

“Our loved ones are still and always will be a part of us. They are threads in our fabric and we cannot lose their love."

Darcie D. Sims Christmas Blessings to you, From Della and the

JONES-PARKVIEW TEAM IT IS WITH MUCH GRATITUDE THAT I ACKNOWLEDGE THE RETIREMENT OF MY PRECIOUS COLLEAGUE AND CREATIVE ENGINEER, BRENDA MOORE, THE ONE WHO HAS PRODUCED THESE NEWSLETTERS FOR 20 YEARS. THANK YOU BREN, WITH ALL OF MY HEART

Della

JONES-PARKVIEW FUNERAL SERVICES 106 Athabasca St. E. – 474 Hochelaga St. W

Moose Jaw, SK S6H 0L4 – Moose Jaw, SK S6H 2G9

3066934644 ● 3066945500

jonesparkview@gmail.com

www.jonesparkview.com

Trade Name for W. J. Jones & Son Limited & Parkview Funeral Chapel Inc.

A Decembered Grief

Living With Loss While Others are Celebrating

Smith shares this seasonal prayer for the Bereaved: God, I’m not asking for miracles throughout this season. I'm asking to recognize Your movements in my life. I'm asking to catch Your whispers. I'm asking to sense Your presence in what I think are my darkest moments, when I think I can't go on. God, I'm asking for moments when I can see Your grace as clearly as footprints in a fresh-fallen snow or wet sand along a beach. God, I'm asking that You be with my family and friends and somehow see us through.

This book is a true Christmas Gift for the Bereaved. Smith has written it in a form that is an easy read, being sensitive to those who find concentrating difficult at this time. It is filled with quotations like:

"What soap is for the body, tears are for the soul." ~ Jewish Proverb

Smith also offers an "A-Z" of topics on how to handle the holidays...with such titles as:

Alter-Rather than Abandon-Traditions Befriend Your Grief Cry If You Want To Don’t Fast-Forward to January 5

Say "Yes" to Invitations That Feel Right to "Zestize Your Season"

Smith closes with: "There is an advent of the heart, in the quiet corridors of your spirit, where no decorations clutter, where no fake Santa looks bored or weary, where no carolers stroll. There, in that quieted place, Advent is celebrated."

Author: Harold Ivan Smith

22nd Annual Mourning Star

Christmas Service for the Bereaved

Thursday Dec. 5th, 2019

@ 7:30 pm

Parkview Chapel

474 Hochelaga St W

Theme:

Special music by:

Joya Johnston Through this service we want to offer you: an opportunity to quiet your soul

during this busy season

a sacred quiet place in which to honour the memory of your loved one

TO CONTACT BRENDA OR DELLA

brenda@jonesparkview.com or della@jonesparkview.com

WORLDWIDE

CANDLELIGHTING VIGIL

FOR ALL WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED THE LOSS OF A CHILD

Theme: The Invisible String

Sunday December 8th, 2019 7:00pm @

Parkview Reception Centre

474 Hochelaga St W Please bring a picture of your child.

Refreshments will be served.

At 7:00pm in every time zone around the globe parents will be lighting candles in Memory of their children. We invite you to join us in this ritual of love.

Valentine Grief

Healing Through the Gift of Love

Valentine’s Day is nearing; love is in the air as they say. There is a rapid exchange of ideas for cozy moments and a plethora of loving thoughts with suggestions for a perfect celebration. For me, Valentine’s Day is a day of remembering not what I have lost but of how I have been loved. I don’t wonder so much about where I am going or what is next, rather I reflect on where I have been and realize there is so much of that experience that defines where I am in this very moment. Loss has taught me compassion and given my vulnerability permission to expose itself. I can more easily see into the hearts of others. If you are grieving the death of someone you have loved I hope you will find a place where you can reflect on being loved, and that you will bask in its warmth. Remember special times … remember laughing … remember … People die … People we love die … but love ... love lasts forever.

journeythroughloss.com

RESOURCE LIBRARY

LOOKING AHEAD

Hope Is the thing with

feathers…

COMMON GROUND Grief Support Group for those who have experienced the death of their Spouse

Wednesday Mornings for 5 weeks 10:00am - 11:30am

Sessions Starting March 2020

March 4th: Understanding Grief

March11th: Understanding our Emotions

March 18th: Coping with Adjustment & Loneliness

March 25th: Redefinition & Search for New Identity

April 1st: Reconciliation of Your Loss *

Please pre-register by calling 306-693-4644

Everyone is Welcome

HOPE

Grief Support for ALL Bereaved

2nd Wednesday of Each Month 7:30PM to 9:00PM

*December 11th, 2019 * January 8th, 2020

February 12th, 2020 March 11th, 2020

Everyone is Welcome *Hope & Bereaved Parents will be combined*

Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support - 1st Wednesday of each month

7pm-9pm at 679 Hall St. W - Informed Choices Pregnancy Centre

for Personal Support call Sara @ 306-690-8462

BEREAVED PARENTS Grief Support for Parents

who have experienced the death of a Child

3rd Wednesday of Each Month 7:30pm to 9:00pm

*December 11th, 2019*

January 15th, 2020 February 19th, 2020

March 18th, 2020

Everyone is Welcome *Hope & Bereaved Parents will be combined*

SURVIVORS OF SUICIDE

Grief Support for those who have experienced the death of a Loved One to Suicide

4th Wednesday of Each Month 7:30PM to 9:00PM

*December 18th, 2019* Note change of week to the 3rd week of December

January 22nd, 2020 February 26th, 2020

March 25th, 2020

Everyone is Welcome

SUPPORT GROUPS

All the support groups meet at

Our Parkview Location

474 Hochelaga St. W

10 TIPS FOR SURVIVING THE HOLIDAYS AFTER THE DEATH OF A LOVED ONE

The Holidays are stressful …There are presents to be purchased, crowded stores, extra traffic, financial burdens and social obligations. If a person has experienced the death of a loved one this seasonal stress is greatly magnified. Death brings about many changes that will affect the holidays. Perhaps your loved one always carved the turkey or prepared a traditional dish from an old family recipe. Patterns and rituals will be different this holiday season. There will be an empty chair at the table, the house may not look the same in the way it is or is not decorated. Holiday cards may not have their usual cheery message, and how do you sign them? Even if a person thinks they have been “doing well” with the death, the holidays can reactivate their grief as they are forced to acknowledge the extent of their loss. The emotions that the holidays stir in a person who has experienced a loss are overwhelming. Here are 10 ideas that can help reduce the stress and ease some of the emotional pain this season may bring.

1. Don’t plan to skip the holidays: It’s impossible to simply bypass the holidays. Even if you hide your head under the covers until the sun sets, you cannot wish the day away. It will come. Instead, accept the fact that it’s normal to feel sad and down at this time. Face your feelings and learn how to prepare as best you can for the day. 2. Plan Ahead: Grieving people do not like surprises because their emotions are already like a roller coaster, up and down, and unpredictable. Therefore, plan ahead so that the events of the special day are well known to you, your family members and friends. Predictability reduces the element of surprise and increases coping skills.

3. Make tentative plans: Because the emotions of grief are so unpredictable, it is hard to know in advance if you will be having a good day tomorrow, or next Thursday. Therefore, if you are invited to a party or holiday meal, your response can be, “I would like to go, let me give you a tentative ‘yes'”. This gives you the space and opportunity to change your mind if necessary.

4. Do only what is special and meaningful to you: Stop and take a look at what supports you and makes you feel most comfortable and do only those things. Remember this is your grieving process, you deserve to put yourself first and monitor your comfort level.

5. Shop early or by catalog or online: Grieving people often see reality through distorted lenses. The malls are filled with joyful shoppers, Holiday music, colorful decorations, and an exciting hustle and bustle in the air. A grieving person may feel alone and depressed in this environment.

6. Tell the truth about your feelings: If you are asked, “How are you?’, be truthful. The way through grief is by grieving. In addition, most people don’t know how to support someone who is grieving. They need you to tell them how you actually feel: “Today is hard day for me”; “I’m feeling tender”; “I’d like to be quiet”; “I’d appreciate some company”.

7. Choose supportive people to be around: Be with those people you feel comfortable with, those who are okay with tears, those who can sit and chat with you about the person who has died. It is important that you do not feel a need to entertain them but rather a freedom to just be relaxed and say and do the things you are comfortable with.

8. Take Care of Yourself Physically: Grieving people can have a tendency to under eat or over eat. They can also drink alcoholic beverages in excess, particularly during the holidays. There are many ways to distract ourselves from painful feelings. Make healthy choices, watch what you eat and drink, get plenty of rest and exercise.

9. Remember to Remember: “Relationships don’t end, they only change form.” You are still impacted by your loved one’s love, guided by their words, touched by their sense of humor. Acknowledge the person who died, write them a card, get them a gift. Honor this relationship in whatever manner you find helpful. This relationship will never cease to be important to you.

10. Most importantly, remember that you are not alone: (you are invited to participate in our Mourning Star Service or if you are a bereaved parent our Worldwide Candle Lighting Service or join one of our Support Groups.) (Note page 2 and 3 of this newsletter)

www.journeythroughloss.com