Jesus the Friend Jesus had friendships that were significant to
him Martha, Mary & Lazarus from Bethany Jesus talks with Martha
& Mary (Luke 10:38-42) Jesus weeps at Lazarus death, raises him
from the tomb (John 11:1-44)
Slide 3
Friendship as Mutual Caring Friendship usually involves
loyalty, acceptance, honesty, availability, generous help, and
equality It has a give-and-take quality that sets it apart from
nurturing love and parental love Friendship is a strong foundation
for just about all other types of love
Slide 4
Friendship as Mutual Caring An I Thou Relationship Essential to
friendship one person sees the other as having value and worth When
we treat another as a subject with an inner life Jewish
philosopher, Martin Buber said when we treat another as an object
or thing that can be used for whatever purpose we desire we are
relating to him/her as an It.
Slide 5
Friendship as Mutual Caring A Glimpse of the Eternal Thou Buber
saw the I- Thou relationships we experience as ways of relating to
God, the eternal Thou Buber saw encounters with other persons as
grace-filled moments In this understanding our friendships can be
sacred experiences, opportunities for grace
Slide 6
Who Are Our True Friends? We can determine who our real friends
are by asking these questions: Do we bring out the best in each
other? Are we loyal to and honest with each other? Is our
relationship mutual and equal? Do we accept each other for who we
truly are? Are we generous with each other?
Slide 7
Who Are Our True Friends? Bringing Out the Best? Friendship
like all love means seeking and fostering what is good for the
other person They encourage us to be the best person we can be They
urge us to use our talents, make positive decisions, and to grow
into the most dynamic, loving person we can be.
Slide 8
Who Are Our True Friends? Loyal and Honest? Newspaper columnist
Walter Winchell said that a friend is someone who walks in when the
rest of the world walks out. When a friendship is honest, the
friends can be open and frank with each other and expect
confidentiality Honesty may also include telling our friend a
painful truth about herself or himself. P.149
Slide 9
Who Are Our True Friends? Mutual and Equal? Friendship must be
a two-way street We give and receive mutually Accepting of Who the
Other Is? Our genuine friends accept the total package of who we
are, warts and all. However, acceptance does not mean tolerance of
just any type of behavior P.150
Slide 10
Who Are Our Friends? Available and Generous? Generous acts are
especially important between friends Nowadays, when peoples
schedules are so full, one of the most appreciated acts of
generosity is the gift of time (p. 151) Poem p. 152
Slide 11
Levels of Friendship Close Friends - Is there one person in my
life to whom I could disclose anything about myself?
Slide 12
Levels of Friendship Acquaintances Workers, schoolmates,
neighbors and social contacts with whom we touch base
occasionally
Slide 13
Levels of Friendship Collaborators People who have a common
interest or project that they are working on together (p. 154)
Slide 14
Levels of Friendship Buddies A friendship that usually forms
around a mutual interest or activities Buddies are fine but dont
take the place of a close friend (p. 155)
Slide 15
Levels of Friendship Relatives as friends relatives can have a
special friendship with each other in ways others cannot. They can
be linked by family history or an event. (p. 156)
Slide 16
Developing Friendships: Types of Intimacy Intimacy Close
association and contact that results in bonding between two persons
Work Intimacy When people share tasks that bond them to one another
in affirming ways Sharing responsibilities and decisions makes you
feel mutual support
Slide 17
Intimacy Emotional Intimacy - When we communicate our sorrows,
joys, anger, and disappointments
Slide 18
Intimacy Intellectual Intimacy When we talk about ideas and
opinions and challenge one another to stretch their minds
Slide 19
Intimacy Common Cause Intimacy People who share an ideal or
cause (environmental movement)
Slide 20
Intimacy Crisis Intimacy You see the strength of others when
you experience a crisis together People, like veterans or
survivors, understand that crisis can bring a tremendous depth of
intimacy
Slide 21
Intimacy Spiritual Intimacy the intimacy between people who
share a relationship with God or a similar sense of the meaning of
life. It may be expressed in religious practices worship and shared
prayer or in conversations about life and purpose.
Slide 22
Intimacy Aesthetic Intimacy when two people appreciate
beautiful scenes, music, art, literature, or movies together.
Slide 23
Intimacy Recreational Intimacy doing something playful together
can allow individuals to drop their masks and be themselves.
Slide 24
Intimacy Creative Intimacy anyone who is in the process of
creating, cultivating or nurturing can find intimacy together (
gardeners, new parents)
Slide 25
When A Friendship Ends Why End? The reasons that friendships
end are many, but the most common reasons are these: Distance
Friends that are many miles apart may find it very difficult to
maintain their closeness Over the years the intensity of the
friendship diminishes
Slide 26
When A Friendship Ends? Changes in Each Person Sometimes a
friendship ends when one person changes and the other does not, or
when both people change in different ways.
Slide 27
When A Friendship Ends? Competition and Envy sometimes friends
are threatened by each others achievements or good luck Maybe they
are insecure about themselves or afraid of being left behind Envy
and competition invades the relationship, eating away at it and
eventually destroying it.
Slide 28
When A Friendship Ends Money and Favors Unpaid or slowly paid
loans or unreturned favors can lead to resentment and endanger a
friendship.
Slide 29
When A Friendship Ends Overdependence - When one person
conforms to every wish of the other simply to hold on to him or her
as a friend It does not foster the good of both people There is no
mutual respect or care
Slide 30
When A Friendship Ends Betrayal Can be so hurtful and damaging
to a friendship and sometimes you dont even see it coming Your
closest friend starts dating your boyfriend/girlfriend A secret you
shared with a friend is suddenly all over school You hear your
friend make sarcastic or humiliating comments to others about
you.
Slide 31
When A Friendship Ends Letting Go Sometimes after things go
wrong in a friendship the best thing that we can do is to let go
and move on. Friendship is ultimately a gift that cannot be taken
from us, even though our sadness may tell us otherwise for a
while
Slide 32
A Priceless, Sacred Gift Our friends bring out the best in us,
accept us, and support us. They can be trusted for their loyalty
and honesty Our relationship is mutual and equal We need to treat
friendships as sacred, as encounters with Thou and a glimpse of the
eternal Thou
