Jessvs.

A children’s book-themed exploration of my adventures learning to write advanced things in my discipline

(by Jess Mitchell)

ENGW3307 1404 words Final Portfolio April 20, 2016

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments3

Preface4

The StoryChapter 1

A Very Bad Impression5

Chapter 2Adventure I: All in My Head

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Chapter 3Adventure II: The Laboratory

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Chapter 4Adventure III: Cyberspace

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Chapter 5The Final Adventure: The Mirrored Chamber

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Polished Writings35

Supplementary Materials

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AcknowledgmentsThis story is dedicated to the many people who have given me much-needed pushes and

support while I got up from my figurative hill-tumble after The-Bad-Thing-That-Happened. I have nothing but heartfelt gratitude for those who checked in before, during, and after everything, specifically Keyne Cahoon, Mark Dietrich, Rachel Morford, and Angela Kim.

The sparkliest thank you is for Cecelia Musselman, who has been unwaveringly patient with me for not one but two semesters. I’m really glad I got the opportunity to redeem myself and I hope it was worth the wait.

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PrefaceWithin the pages of this book is a portfolio of compiled works for a writing class, but

more importantly, a student's adventures in learning and growing into the person she is becoming. The bulk of the story describes a reflective experience of pushing boundaries during a strange and pivotal time. The final chapter details the ways in which the learning goals of the course were met.

The antagonist of this tale, The Awd, can be viewed literally as a class with assignments and deadlines but also figuratively as the daunting anxiety of representing oneself through writing that the class forebodes. The Awd is a big bully; he taunts the protagonist about the challenges of writing well as expressed through the learning goals of the course. He, like the course and the pressure to produce quality writing, will follow her around until she meets these challenges and is not phased by his threats.

Each of Jess' adventures represents her experience in one of the course assignments and occurs in an arena that embodies the assignment's audience. For clarity, this has been done in chronological order - project 1 is described in adventure I, project 2 in adventure II, project 3 in adventure III, and the reflective essay in the final adventure.

The final versions of all class assignments can be found in the Polished Writings section and other completed works can be found in the Supplementary Materials section. Both are located at the end of the book.

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Chapter 1A Very Bad Impression

One morning in Boston, trouble was afoot.

[Pic 1]

A girl of no more than 23 tumbled down a rocky hill. She had the faintest feeling she had been there before.

[Pic 2]

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[pic 3]

A surprise awaited her at the bottom.

[pic 4]

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[pic5]

“Who… No, what are you?!”

[pic 6]

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The creature grinned an evil grimace and began to speak:

“I, The Awd, am a terrible, horrible monster!” [Pic 7]

“I have seen all your scariest nightmares… and I know exactly what you are afraid of.”

Pic 8

YOU CAN’T WRITE!

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“And I have several terrible AND horrible talents to make you squeal in despair. Eleven of them to be exact.”

[Picture 9]

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“1. I will scare you so badly that you won’t learn a thing! Let alone communicate it to anyone.” “2. I will confuse you until you don’t know what you want to say or to what audience you are saying it!” “3. I will lead you in circles until you can no longer articulate a stance. I’ll laugh while you fumble with all the irrelevant fluff.” “4. I can stop you dead in your tracks after you’ve reached the bare minimum and I can squander your drive to revise and improve” “5. I will taunt you when you are lost and have to inquire and search for your own answers”

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“6. I shall trick you with unreliable sources and demand you conquer confusing punctuation conventions” “7. I will make you feel so very alone that you cannot relate to the experiences, perspectives, or ideas of a soul in the world!” “8. I won’t believe a thing you say unless you can show me with multiple forms of evidence that I should give a darn about any claims you make.” “9. You’ll have to read and read and read and read some more. Critically! Because MAYBE that’s where you can find some secret hope to best me”“10. You’ll never succeed alone! I’ll need you and your peers to collaborate.”

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“11. I will force you to sit and stew over those criticisms and all your other shortcomings. Then, finally, while you reflect over the mess you’ve toiled over, I will creep into your brain and sit on your [dopamine center pathway thing-dorsal striatum?] and wait for the waterworks.”

[Pictures 10a-?]

“And you will break just at the moment you realize you can’t do it!”o [Picture 11]

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Jess was noticeably flustered. “But… I just tumbled down that hill! I’m not ready to tackle any challenges!” she cried.

o [Picture 12]But The Awd scoffed. “Monsters like me don’t wait for munchkins like you to be ready. If it’s not me, it will be someone else out in the real world.”The only way you can possibly beat me is to convince me – with your words – that your skills outmatch mine. But I’m a very, very harsh judge!”

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Jess boiled with frustration and distress. She seized a fistful of hair in each hand and a howl escaped her mouth. She demanded to whoever was listening: “Is this all a terrible dream?! Is this all just happening in my head?”

o [Picture 13]

“That sounds like the perfect place to start!” cooed The Awd. [Picture 15]

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Chapter 2Adventure I: All in My Head

The next thing she knew, Jess found herself in a heap on the ground in a very strange place. She picked herself up, dusted herself off, and wondered what the day’s events would hold. “Wow… there’s a lot of stuff in this place. Maybe I should swing by a little more often.”

Suddenly… o [pic 14]o “I told you I’d get you!”

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Jess began to run. She ran in circles, squares, zig-zags, and squiggles – all the while being followed by the terrible creature, who shouted awful things ahead at her.

“This is a man’s world!”“A pipsqueak like you? Yeah right!”“A neuroscientist that can’t get on a roller coaster? Ha!”“You girls are too distracted by the boys in the lab to get anything done.”“Who do you think you are?”

Out of breath, Jess slowed to a halt and peeked over her shoulder. Behind her, The Awd, too, was stopped. His claws were deep in a clump of fibers and he thrashed and fussed them into tangles. Jess felt her head sizzle and her chest plummet.

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“Wait a second. This is a little ridiculous.”Husbandless wench!Your sperm is laughable menstrual blood!

The Awd reached for another bunch of fibers. When our hero realized what was at stake, Jess knew what she had to do.

o [They have an epic chase sliding down dendrites and swinging from axons]

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“Who do I think I am?! I’ll tell you who I am!”

[jess shouts while awd swings]

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“Not like that! You’ll have to keep up with me or I won’t hear you!”

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Jess got into the swing of things and finally caught up to The Awd.

He shouts “STOP!” just as she reaches him. “I have one more riddle for you: where does a neuroscientist get her credibility?”

Just as she squealed “APA citations!” and rooted for a phone to call her trusty friend Mendeley, The Awd limped out of sight.

Jess felt accomplished. “I think it’s time to go do some science!” she chirped, and off to the laboratory she went.

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Chapter 3Adventure II: The Laboratory

After the morning’s fiasco, Jess was pleased to have some peace and quiet. She hummed a catchy pop song while the last of her fun, new articles about the most exciting immune cells in the brain cooled in the printer’s tray.

[pic]

Jess, a tireless optimist, was genuinely shocked when she saw her woesome enemy burst into view.

[pic]

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“You’re making a mess! There’s a lot of important stuff here, you have to be careful with that!”

[Pic papers thrown all over, Jess is distressed as usual]

“Oh no… I have to organize this stuff!”o Scramble -> tiredo Things in piles

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“I need a lot of help…”[pic Peers come in for WCR help (in circle with donuts)

o “This section could use some more info”o “What does that mean?”o “This part is kinda confusingo “This one [picture]’s great! Make it bigger!”

Satisfied with what had been accomplished, Jess gathered the papers and headed for a quiet place to rest (maybe to do some light reading of Annual Reviews)

“Look! The Awd!!”[pic Just when he’s about to be cornered, he disappears into the computer]

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Chapter 4Adventure III: Cyberspace

[Picture-weird zap noises and electrical currents and stuff in cyberspace, Jess looking vexed]

In the glow of pixels, Jess spots The Awd. “I bet you didn’t learn a thing about microglia!” he rasps before slithering into a box. “How could anyone get anything useful out of that big mess?!”

Jess crosses her arms and shouts boldly into the yonder: “Dysfunctional microglia are apt to inappropriately eliminate cells and synapses and…” [pic hits a box and bounces off]

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“There’s no room for nonsense, complicated details, or opinions here!” Jess understood this was no time for games; here on the World Wide Web, anything funky could have huge consequences. She pulled out her thinking cap and searched for the information The Awd was looking for. “If all my words need to go in these tiny boxes, I guess I must be direct, simple, and neutral!”

[pic -shouts “Microglia! CNS! Cytokines! IL-1α! IL-1-β! IL-8 and 18! TNF-α! Stains! CD68! Iba1!”]

Awd going “Nooooo!”

Having gained access to the boxes with her itty bitty nuggets of knowledge, Jess began to chase The Awd. She sprinted up to him just in time to spot him diving into another box and leapt in right behind him.

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Chapter 5The Final Adventure: The Mirrored Chamber

Jess landed hard on her feet and her knees tremored beneath her. She drank in the new, mirrored walls of the maze before her and listened closely. A pitter-pattering could be heard in the distance, but Jess’ confidence did not falter.

She catches a sliver of her reflection and she gulps hard as she recognizes the expression on her face. She has been challenged before – by teachers, PIs, parents, friends, opponents – and she has seen that face; but something was different this time. Maybe it was in the eyes, or maybe it was the tsunami of adrenaline making each of her tiny atoms stand at attention. Whatever it was, Jess knew that the moment to best this beast once and for all had arrived.

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In the glow of the reflections, Jess sprung between walls and peeked around corners. The oh-so sly Awd continued to evade her.

A rumble crescendoed. Jess heard The Awd’s echoed calls. “You are stronger than I thought. But none of that matters if you can’t outsmart me here and now. If you fail, you’ll have to do it all over again!”

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Jess’ eyebrows furrowed and she took a deep, slow breath. “I’m not scared of you! I was never scared of you!” She clenched her fists while flashes of leathery skin and horns materialized in the mirrors around her. [pic The Awd appears on a whole bunch of mirrors]

“How foolish! Don’t you remember all my challenges?”

Jess nodded. “I have contemplated your taunts, Awd. And guess what? I did crush all your challenges!”

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“You challenged me to adapt based on my context and audience, but I’ve been doing that throughout this entire tale.”

“In the first adventure, I broke free from the stiff, in-chronological-order, snooze-inducing style I had always been bound to. You made me need to be versatile and to have a sense of humor, or my message wouldn’t reach you. When I started having fun too, my message became exactly what I wanted it to be.”

“In the second adventure, I toiled over work until it was safe to leave in the laboratory with all my scientific cohort. Despite the huge mess of articles you left me with, I sorted and grouped and organized and rearranged until I found something meaningful to say! I can’t tell you with 100% certainty that I made something publishable, but I can assure you that I certainly have never written anything that looked so scientific! If I can do that, it can’t be long until I’m ready for the real thing.”

“The third adventure, though the scariest of all, assured me that I can adjust to my audience. I knew anyone in the world with an Internet connection could be led astray if I were not careful… so I preened over my sources until I could reduce an entire article to a single word. Anyone with a tenth grade reading level can use this now!”

“But in all three, Awd, I learned that if you really have something to say, you have to cut the crap! When you beat around the bush, you fail to make your point and your audience slips away from you.

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“You want me to articulate a stance? Here are some right now!

“First of all, I that I was indoctrinated into a long history of misinformation about and dismissing of women. Even though it has impacted both the tone of the field and my personal experiences, I and other women are establishing ourselves as valuable leaders.”

“I also know that schizophrenia occurs as a result of upregulated pro-inflammatory cytokine signaling expressed by microglia! The cytokines induce neuroinflammation and eventually neuron and synapse death!”

“I also did plenty of revising during all this!”

“When I tumbled down that hill, I had my whole autobiography all figured out. It was awful! – Take a look at Project 1 Draft 1 in the supplementary materials for yourself, Awd, you’ll see! But all that time in my head inspired me to reinvent it. Three drafts later, and I wrote a paper that might even make your sour self chuckle!

“In the second adventure, the whole class came to help me. By joining forces, I made my shrimpy review into something I’m really proud of.”

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“I learned so much about the process of inquiring and searching.”

“In my own mind, I asked myself why until I figured out the things that had impacted me the most and I better learned who I was.”

After that, I hit the books! By going on a scavenger hunt for schizophrenia, then neuroinflammation, then the immune system, and finally microglia, I discovered a movement months before the link was confirmed. I’ve been a pro at searching the web for what I need ever since!”

“Reliable sources? No problem!”

“While you were playing games in my head and in the laboratory, I was reading! I found 20 sources during our first adventure and another 20 during the second! By the time we entered cyberspace, I lost count of them!! And thanks to my buddy Mendeley, it doesn’t even bug me.”

“I’ve conversed with others about my ideas tons of times, and they stand with me!”

“I have engaged with them both inside and outside of class to interactively discuss our work. I have held digital and in-person conversations with peers in my class, and I have interacted with a handful of established Wikipedia users in an online community.”

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“I’ve consulted many different sources to support my arguments! Lectures, books, journals, media, and encyclopedia entries are just a few on this long list. All cited properly in APA format.”

“And of course I’ve practiced reading things critically! I read all of those cited sources in full. I read more than 50 abstracts before selecting the sources used in my literature review.”

“Awdy, Awdy, Awd. You’ve even helped me help my peers conquer

your challenges. I went over Hillary’s autobiography with her, and later checked over her and Bishoy’s encyclopedia contributions. I helped review Chandler and Rainer’s portfolios and reflective essays. I actively participated in each whole class review!”

“And through all of that, I’ve had plenty of time to self-assess. And I’ve learned that I can do a bunch of great stuff! Just today, I’ve spoken my mind, empowered friends, seen the big picture, and read between the lines. After all that, I’m pretty confident I’m capable of writing some advanced things.”

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The Awd’s eyes widened with fright. “B-b-but… you forgot the very first one! There is no way you could have learned anything amidst all this trouble.”

Jess looked serenely at the monster.

“More than anything, Awd, I learned about myself. I learned that my predecessors crafted a world that has given me unique experiences and that it has flung me in the direction of scientific greatness. I learned that scientists I greatly respect (like Aristotle and Tim Hunt) maybe wouldn’t have respected me. I have learned that by communicating my proficiency and value, I (and other women) can carve a space for ourselves in this field. I learned that I am not alone in my experiences, and, although I didn’t express that as well as I could have during the adventure, that social values didn’t just shape my experience but everyone’s.”

“And when I finally validated myself, I learned that I care a whole lot about things more important than whiny, lumpy monsters. I learned the space in current research that I want – and CAN – fit myself into. If all it takes to get there is playing your word games, that’s fine.”

“The funniest lesson of all, Awd, is the one that you taught me when you forced me to actually impact the global science community. When you plucked me into that computer, I made sure to leave my mark. Don’t you see, silly Awd? I learned that I can do it! Because I did.”

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The Awd looked smaller than ever. Jess stepped toward him and gently reached for a claw.

“You were never really a monster. But you looked like you were, so that’s what I made you into.”

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“Hey, what do you say we go get some milkshakes?”

“Yeah. I know a place.”

THE END

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Polished Writings

Project 1Follow this link

Project 2Follow this link

Project 3Follow this link for the finished article

And this one for the article before I got to it

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Supplemental Materials

Project 1 Draft 1 Fall 2015Link

Project ReflectionsProject 1Project 2

Project 3 Peer ReviewsHillaryBishoy

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Project 1 Peer Review

Reflective Essay Review

To: Hillary Dequina

From: Jessica Mitchell

CC: Cecelia Musselman

Date: 1/29/2016

Re: An Unorthodox Retrosynthetic Analysis of a Chemist’s Education

Summary:

Major Points:

Minor Points:

This paper, mimicking the retrospective thinking required to do a retrosynthetic analysis, explores the author’s experience of arriving at an endpoint and needing to think critically to determine the starting point. The author first expresses pride in making certain unpopular choices (like the decision to attend NEU rather than MIT and her appreciation of organic chemistry) and relates this to Friedrich Wöhler’s experience in demanding scientific validation for his discoveries. In the remainder of the paper, the author describes her experiences (and surprise at) actually utilizing the information learned in organic chemistry classes. Prominent figures in the field who have thought outside the box have enabled the author to also have the opportunity to think critically about organic chemistry.

Smoothness – This paper brings in several very relatable ideas (being confidently unapologetic about making “crazy decisions,” orgo is really difficult, and it’s valuable to think outside the box), all of which are powerful enough to create a strong narrative. It’s not very clear though how these ideas are all related to one another. Inserting some transition sentences between the different paragraphs would be really helpful in clarifying this. The paper generally reads very smoothly for the first half, but begins to lose focus from the paragraph about palladium-catalyzed cross-coupling reactions through the concluding paragraph. Connecting the ideas expressed at the end of the paper to those at the beginning might also improve the reader’s understanding of the message.

Relatability – The author has included many snippets of personality (ex. “though, that would not have been the first time chemistry made me want to cry at work.”) in between descriptions of experiential content. These are some of the most enjoyable elements of the paper, and there may be room for more of them! In other areas of the paper the author sometimes writes more formally, forgoing contractions for the full phrases of ‘cannot’ or ‘is not,’ which contradicts the informal bursts of personality. There is also room for the author to expand on the personal significance of the events she describes; many of the experiences only address the actual events and how practical they were instead of how they affected her thoughts and attitudes.

Structure – The ideas expressed in this text usually take the form of digestible sentences containing exactly the right amount of information. This information is sometimes downplayed by sentences with excess words. Conciseness (particularly by eliminating some ‘had’s before verbs) would strengthen messages and keep the information clear.

Several sections of the paper allude to concepts from chemistry that the author may consider making more approachable (via simpler explanations or less field-specific vocab) to individuals with less expertise in the field. The text also features sentences containing a confusing amount of clauses toward the second half.

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Portfolio and Reflective Essay Reviews

Reflective Essay Review

To: Rainer HumphriesFrom: Jessica Mitchell

CC: Cecelia MusselmanDate: 4/19/2016Re: Writing for Learning, both Personal and Professional

Major Points:

Minor Points:

Appeal to reader – This essay’s narrative describes points in an order that gives the reader a feel-good vibe (which is definitely an accomplishment!) One of the most effective uses of this appeal is when the essay mentions a striking moment from the project 1 whole class review. These sections can be very powerful, so the author should be sure to filter out filler words and clean up the syntax.

Language – Some careful choices of more sophisticated words (ex. enlightening instead of eye opening) could improve the articulation of the essay. Take care to watch for awkward phrases and transitions, such as “he reflective essay I wrote for the first project about how I came to education and math education specifically made me realize…” and “another key learning goal that this first project pulls in.”

Structure – The selected organization strategy of describing each project one at a time seems to be extremely effective. Be mindful of consistency; the first project’s learning goals are described in a single paragraph, but projects 2 and 3 take up multiple. The author may consider either merging multiple paragraphs into one or creating subsections for each project.

The essay is largely void of small errors, but this reviewer found several things to note. The first line lacks an indent that all subsequent paragraphs begin with. At the time of this review, the reflective essay does not contain all the necessary course information.

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Reflective Essay Review

To: Rainer HumphriesFrom: Jessica Mitchell

CC: Cecelia MusselmanDate: 4/19/2016Re: Writing for Learning, both Personal and Professional

Major Points:

Minor Points:

Background – The teacher-themed background is very cute, but is unfortunately fairly grainy. If you have time, see if you can find (or make?) a larger image. The black text on this banner is also somewhat difficult to read, which may be improved by increasing the font size, changing the color, or reconsidering the banner image. The organic chemistry-themed background matches but seems out of place among the math terminology.

Reader engagement – The “About Me”-style blurb on the homepage definitely models an educator’s website, but has room to be much more individualized. The upcoming events section adds some humor to the page.

This portfolio does not seem to feature unused space or pages and all necessary pieces aside from links to Wikipedia peer reviews appear to be in place. All of the links tested were functional.

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