SHIELD N TES

Spring ‘12

Project Shield works in partnership with the community to build safe, healthy Jewish relationships and families by heightening awareness and providing education about preventing child molestation.

For information or to be added to the JCFS and Project Shield distribution list, please contact:

Rachel Zimmerman, Project Coordinator 847-745-5405

ProjectShield@jcfs.org

jcfs.org

Project Shield is generously funded by the Robert and Debra Hartman Family Foundation, The Mills Family Foundation and a Priority Grant from the Jewish Federation of Metropolitan Chicago.

Project Shield is a program of Jewish Child & Family Services, and is guided by the Rabbinic leadership of the Special Bais Din and our Advisory Council, consisting of mental health professionals, advocates and representatives from Jewish and secular community agencies. JCFS is a partner in serving the community, supported by Jewish United Fund/Jewish Federation. Call 855-ASK-JCFS (855-275-5237) for one-stop, toll-free access to all JCFS services at all locations.

Home for tHe Holidays

Getting together with extended family or spending time at large communal gatherings can be wonderful. At the same time trying to parent children in an environment where there are conflicting parenting styles can be challenging.

Parenting questions around supervision, discipline, corporal punishment, playing “doctor,” shouting, and when to get involved can get muddled when you’re together with other families. Although these conflicts can be normal parts of holiday reunions, it shouldn’t mean completely letting go or spending the entire time away yelling at your children. You don’t have to be in harmony with everyone else’s rules. To insure an experience that is safe and positive for your entire family, consider before leaving home, what kinds of rules can be compromised while you are away, and which of those standards that are non-negotiable.

• Create, with your spouse, a reasonable family game plan for holiday travel and then have a meeting where you share that plan with your children. Strive for balance and be clear about rules and expectations.

• Make sure your plan includes allowable places to play, what is acceptable to eat, when it is necessary to have adult accompaniment, curfew hours, riding in cars, checking in with you, etc.

• Don’t forget to point out which of your usual rules will be relaxed during your time away and which are absolutely firm.

• Prepare children so that they have a picture of the hotel environment or family’s house that you are going to and who will be there.

• Role-play unusual scenarios that might occur. Practice different responses children could use if they are not comfortable in any given situation.

Celebrate Personal freedom tHis PesaCH

tool box: Create a family Game Plan

Planning ahead works for many different aspects of the holiday. Seeing family can be wonderful, but it also might bring back all kinds of recollections. It is common to recall painful memories and difficult

relationships when we go back home. This is especially true when we don’t have easy relationships with our parents and we see them interacting with our own children. In the same way that you’re planning

your family rules, consider making a plan to manage the challenging feelings that may be triggered during the holiday. Build in “personal breathers,” like daily walks after lunch or getting up early for a quiet

cup of coffee before everyone wakes. Plan a response if family members treat you in a way that doesn’t feel respectful, and aim to respond calmly yet assertively. Lastly make a refueling plan—talk with a spouse,

friend, or therapist about what happened so you can cope in a healthy way. Pre-planning can make this Pesach a year where emotional freedom is celebrated too.