James D. Hess, Ed.D. Chair OSU School of Healthcare
Administration
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A competitive or opposing action of incompatibles Antagonistic
state or action Mental struggle resulting from incompatible or
opposing needs, drives, wishes or demands The opposition of persons
or forces that give rise to dramatic action Fight, battle, war
Basically: a disagreement
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A disagreement through which the parties involved perceive a
threat to their needs, interests or concerns. Key elements:
Disagreement Parties involved Perceived threat Needs, interests or
concerns Power
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Perceived threat to ones well-being or interests Response is
based on the persons perceptions and/or feelings about the
situation (not objective review of it) Conflicts contain
substantive, procedural, and psychological dimensions To a large
degree, conflicts are predictable and expectable situations that
naturally arise Creative problem-solving strategies are
essential
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Consider either your workplace or a relationship and think
about the following: What are some key sources of conflict in your
workplace and/or relationship? When do they tend to occur? How do
people respond to these conflicts as they arise? When you solve
problems, do you do so for the moment, or do you put in place
systems for addressing these types of concerns in the future?
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In smaller work groups and in personal settings: Ongoing
conflicts are rarely about the issue It is almost always about the
relationship.
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Competing Harmonizing or Accommodating Avoiding Compromising
Collaborating Which is your conflict resolution style?
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Competing Authoritarian approach Relies on aggressive
communication -low regard for relationships; low level of trust
Pros Goal oriented, quick Cons May breed hostility Descriptors I
would argue my case and insist on the merits of my point of view. I
find conflicts challenging and exhilarating; I enjoy the battle of
wits that usually follows I can figure out what needs to be done
and I am usually right
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Harmonizing or Accommodating Giving in to maintain
relationships Ones needs are yielded to others needs; preserving
the relationship is most important Pros Minimizes injury when we
are outmatched Cons Breeds resentment; exploits the weak
Descriptors I try to meet the expectations of others I try to
accommodate the wishes of my friends and family I may not get what
I want but its a small price to pay for keeping the peace
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Avoiding Non-confrontational approach If we ignore it, it will
go away; instead, conflict festers Pros Does not escalate conflict;
postpones difficulty Cons Unaddressed problems; issues unresolved
Descriptors When I find myself in an argument, I usually say very
little and try to leave as soon as possible Being at odds with
other people makes me feel uncomfortable and anxious I avoid hard
feelings by keeping my disagreements with others to myself
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Compromising The middle ground approach Series of tradeoffs;
satisfactory but not satisfying Pros Useful in complex situations
without simple solutions; all parties have equal power Cons No one
is ever clearly satisfied; less than optimal solutions are usually
implemented Descriptors I try to negotiate and adopt a
give-and-take approach to problem situations I prefer to compromise
when solving problems and just move on To break deadlocks, I would
meet people halfway
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Collaborating Problems are resolved in which the optimal
results are attained; Both parties get what they want and negative
feelings are minimized Pooling of individual needs and goals toward
a common goal; win-win Pros Creates trust; maintains positive
relationships Cons Time consuming; lots of energy expended
Descriptors I explore issues with others so as to find solutions
that meet everyones needs I try to see conflicts from both sides.
What do I need? What does the other person need?
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Emotional responses Feelings we experience in conflict - Range
from anger and fear to despair and confusion Cognitive responses
Our ideas and thoughts about conflict such as the inner voice or
internal observations we have Physical responses Include such
responses heightened stress, bodily tension, increased
perspiration, shallow or accelerated breathing, nausea, and rapid
heartbeat Stress management techniques needed
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Keep in mind that each party involved in the conflict may have
a different perception of the situation, and part of this
difference may be due to: Culture, race, religion and/or ethnicity
Gender differences Knowledge (general and situational) Impressions
of the messenger Previous experiences with this party and
others
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Make sure that good relationships are the first priority Keep
people and problems separate Pay attention to the interests that
are being presented Listen first: talk second. Set out the Facts.
Explore options together.
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Step 1: Know thyself and take care of thyself Understand your
perceptual filters, biases, and triggers Create a personally
affirming environment (eat, sleep, exercise)
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Step 2 : Clarify personal needs threatened by a dispute
Substantive, procedural and psychological needs Look at BATNA,
WATNA, and MLANTA
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BATNA: Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement WATNA: Worst
Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement MLANTA: Most Likely
Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement Identify desired outcomes
from a negotiated process
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Step 3 : Identify a safe place for negotiation Appropriate
place for discussion/private and neutral Mutual consent to
negotiate/appropriate time Role of support people (facilitators,
mediators, advocates), as needed Agreement to ground rules
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1) One person speaks at a time 2) We will make a sincere
commitment to listen to one another, to try to understand the other
person's point of view before responding. 3) What we discuss
together will be kept in confidence, unless there is explicit
agreement regarding who needs to know further information.
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5) We agree to talk directly with the person with whom there
are concerns, and not seek to involve others in "gossip" or
"alliance building. 6) We agree to try our hardest and trust that
others are doing the same within the group. 7) We will support the
expression of dissent in a harassment free workplace. 8) We agree
to attack the issues, not the people with whom we disagree.
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Step 4: Take a listening stance into the interaction Seek first
to understand, then to be understood Use active listening skills:
Take a breath Remove distractions as much as possible Sit or face
the other person directly with an open posture Focus on listening
as your first priority
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Step 5: Assert your needs clearly and specifically Use I
messages as tools for clarification Build from what you have heard
continue to listen well Remain open Remain flexible
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Step 6: Approach problem-solving with flexibility Identify
issues clearly and concisely Brainstorm or generate options while
deferring judgment Be open to problem definitions Clarify criteria
for decision-making
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Step 7: Manage an impasse calmly, patiently and respectfully
Clarify feelings Focus on underlying needs, interests and concerns
Caucus, if appropriate
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Step 8: Build an agreement that works Is the agreement fair?
Balanced? Realistic? Implement and evaluate
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When you feel conflict coming, pause for a moment to reflect on
your style and that of the other person Set the stage from the
beginning to allow for conflict resolution to occur deescalate the
emotions Establish a consistent pattern of how conflicts will be
resolved with the other person Humans are creatures of habit. Learn
from experience There is life after the conflict. Act
accordingly
