BEACHWOOD VOICE Holiday Edition, 2006 ■ Volume 9, Number 4 Page 25

It’s A Whole ‘Nother ChristmasBy Ms. Grammer

‘Tis a whole ‘nother Christmasseason, and Ms. Grammer hopesthat you have someone to beungrammatical with. Of courseyou do; everyone knows someoneto miscommunicate with.

‘Twas eleven days beforeChristmas, and she said to hertrue love, “Hey, Hon, did we missthe 12th day before Christmasalready?”

‘Twas ten days ‘til Christmas,and her true love said to her:“Hon, shall we stay home and donothing for Christmas? Or shallwe do a whole ‘nother thing?”

‘Twas nine days ‘til Christmas,and his true love said to him:“There is no thing I would ratherdo than nothing with you.”

On eighth day beforeChristmas, someone else said,“Regardless of the words winningand losing now meaning the samething, I remain hopeful thatlanguage won’t completely meltdown. Perhaps this is a clue thatwe need a whole ‘nother thingbesides either winning or losing.”

‘Twas seven days until

Christmas when someone in theCafé at the corner said, “Two hotchocolates for her and I,” and thegrammatically correct waiterrefused to bring them until thecustomer would say “…for herand me—us.”

On the sixth day beforeChristmas, MissGrammer suggestedyou check your liststwice and perhapseven a ‘nother time toinclude Flo and Herband Ali. Ho, ho.

On the fifth daybefore Christmas allthe former Presidentsand cried with onea ‘nother about thecurrent one.

The fourthday beforeChristmas wasjust a ‘nother day.

On the third day of Christmas,no one said anything because itwas so near the end.

We’ve got just one ‘nother dayleft to get it right—or is it right to

get it left? Rebirth would mean anend to unnecessary greed, an endto the unnecessary need to makethe other into an object. All issubject, radiant subject. All isverb. All is.

All seeing is personal. All faithis personal. Allreligions arepublic. All war is

impersonal andimpales the heart. Weliked war once, but we

do not like itanymore.Conquering each

other, conqueringnature (ho, ho, ho),greed, and

domination gotus here—andnow the globe is

stuffed full ofangry andwounded people.

Now all religions must say,“Uncle!” or, better yet, “Aunt!”Let’s just say, “Aunt!”

All together now: “Aunt.”Pain takes a long time to be

removed from any system. We arefull up with greed andfundamentalism. If we don’t stop,pretty soon we will have nothingbut pain, so: no more pain to getto pleasure. There is great joy forhumans in the simple things oflife and we’d better admit it quickbecause the Clauses, whose hometerritory is melting, say that it is aviolation of beauty to ignore thebasics in pursuit of theunnecessary. Mrs. Claus says, “Inthe end, the unnecessary does notserve the human heart.” Mr. Clausagrees. “Only love can fill thehuman heart,” says old man Santa.

Hope renews itself at this timewhen we gods and goddesses areborn again to crawl and jingle andstrut our days left upon the earthbefore we jingle no more – orbefore the earth jingles no more.There is no ‘nother planet for useven it can be a little wet on Mars.So, on the Day of Christmas,remember warmly that object andsubject are one, which is peace.And then there is a whole ‘notherholiday after that.

Dear Ms. G,

What’s this about elevenmore Christmas days?I’ll have to writeSanta a whole‘nother list.

Love, Abby

EExxttrraaSAVEURS EQUAL FLAVORSENTERTAIN YOUR TASTE!

By Rona Edwards

Ever thought of hiring aprivate chef to cook foryour next dinner party? Ormaybe you’d like to trysomething other than thesame old catering companyfor your next holidayaffair? Saveurs, the brain-child of Chef Jean-Christophe Dupire (knownas JC), is the answer toyour dreams. A native ofLille, France, with over 15years’ experience in therestaurant business, JC isan accomplished chef andsommelier. Graduatingfrom the Michel ServetCulinary School, he becamea sommelier for Lille’s mostnotable restaurant, Alcide.His success there led to agreat opportunity to helpthe owners open Lilly’s inVenice, California. There,he not only managed therestaurant but also servedas sommelier, winningawards in both dining andfor their extensive wine list.

The difference betweena private chef and apersonal chef is that aprivate chef prepareswhatever meal or specialoccasion you wish on afreelance basis, whereas apersonal chef is one whocooks every meal. Acatering company, on theother hand, usually takescare of more than just food.JC, personally, comes toyour house and utilizes

your kitchen to prepare asumptuous meal basedupon a menu you’vedesigned with him. Hisenthusiasm for cookingand creating bold dishes,using fresh herbs, spicesand exotic flavors totantalize even the most

hardcore culinary experts,is a delight.

I recently experienced asampling–a five-coursemeal featuring hissignature hors d’oeuvresplate of Mini Serrano HamRolls filled with Goat Cheeseand Fine Herbs; Mini CherryTomatoes filled with Shrimp,

Garlic, and fresh Basilflambéed in Cognac;Profiteroles filled withSalmon, White Asparagus,and Marjoram with LemonSauce; and last but certainlynot least, Mini Toasts ofBrioche with homemadeGuava Mustard topped with

Brie and Julienned Dates.That’s just the first course!Next came Mache, a saladconsisting of Warmed GoatCheese with a Basil Crust,Toasted Pine Nuts servedwith JC’s signature Puree ofPear, Honey-Mustarddressing (no oil, no vinegar).A palette cleanser of Lemon-

Verbena and Basil Granitewith a splash of Vodka toenhance the flavors isfollowed by the maincourse, Medallions of PrimeNew Zealand Lamb Loinserved in a Quince Sauceaccompanied by HaricotVerts sautéed in Garlic and

Thyme and Roasted Mini,Yellow Dutch Potatoes withHerbes de Provence. Is yourmouth watering yet?Dessert, yet anothersurprise, was a duo of MiniSoufflés. We played aguessing game todetermine the flavor. Iwon–guessing chestnut and

white chocolate! With eachcourse, a different wine ispaired; the flavors burstingon your palette satiatingevery taste bud.

JC along with his wifeand partner, MeredithRobinson, a castingdirector/producer, formedSaveurs to service thoseclients who want theexperience of dining in arestaurant but in the comfortof their own home. Havethem personally design amenu that’s right for yourspecial occasion, whether anintimate romantic dinner,promoting your business orcelebrating an occasion.Clients entertain their guestseffortlessly while JCprepares an outstandingfeast or delight in watchinghis showmanship as hecreates innovative anddistinctive cuisine.

“For me, it’s all abouttaste, color, flavor andpresentation,” JC explainsof his French-inspired foodwith a healthy Californiatwist. “I want to have funwith my cooking…to makeit original and unique.” Hegoes on to say that hewants his customers “…toexperience food. This iswhat I do!”

For more info go towww.frenchsaveur.com oremail: info@saveurs.com.

Gift certificatesavailable. Costs varydepending upon marketprices.

Chef Jean-Christophe (JC) Dupire prepares his signature hors d’oeuvresplate for a an intimate dinner party for eight.

“I’m

at t

he a

ge w

here

food

has

take

n th

e pl

ace

of s

ex in

my

life.

In fa

ct,I

’ve

just

had

a m

irror

put

ove

r m

y ki

tche

n ta

ble.

”—

Rodn

ey D

ange

rfie

ld

Page 26 Holiday Edition, 2006 ■ Volume 9, Number 4 BEACHWOOD VOICE

Merry Christmas! This columnis about Christmas movies. But notthe ones everybody already knowsand watches each year out of asense of tradition and nostalgia.Instead, I am going to tell youabout some “lost” and rare flicks ofthe season. Not that there’sanything wrong with It’s aWonderful Life, Miracle on 34thStreet, Scrooge, A ChristmasStory, or the rest—I LOVE thesefilms! But there are quite a few thathave just been overlooked. Whileany horror/thriller can be aHalloween movie, a Christmasmovie pretty much needs to beabout Christmas or at least musthave Christmas as an essentialelement. There are many that Iwould like to write about, butwon’t, because there is noway you can see them. Allof the titles in this columnare either on DVD or willbe broadcast during thisholiday season.DVDs

New to DVD this seasonis O Henry’s Full House(1952), finally available fromFox. The five stories in thismovie range from veryfunny to tearjerker andmost levels in between. Thestandout Christmas storyhere is The Gift of theMagi. While many versionsof this story have beenmade, none is better thanthis lensing starring JeanneCrain and Farley Granger.My other two favorites hereare The Last Leaf with AnneBaxter and Jean Peters, andThe Cop and the Anthemwith Charles Laughton andMarilyn Monroe.

One of my favoritecontemporary Yuletide comedies is29th Street (1991) from AnchorBay. This is the “kinda true” storyof Frank Pesce, Jr., the winner ofthe first New York Lottery, the co-writer of this screenplay (withJames Franciscus!), and co-star ofthis film (as his own brother VitoPesce). Confused? Don’t be. All isexplained in the “making of”featurette. All you need to know isthis is a funny, warm, exciting taleof a middle class Italian familyheaded up by “Pop” Danny Aielloand “Mom” Lainie Kazan.Anthony LaPaglia plays FrankPesce, Jr., the unluckiest lucky guyaround. The tagline for this moviewas “Goodfellas meets It’s aWonderful Life” and it’s not too faroff. And the ending has a twist youwon’t see coming.

Love Actually (2003) fromUniversal is a romantic serio-comedy. With a mostly British all-star cast, this multi-layered filmfollows eight couples as theynegotiate the month leading up toChristmas. Bill Nighy is a standoutas an over-the-hill rockerrerecording one of his old hits as aChristmas release. Also included inthe cast are Colin Firth, HughGrant, Emma Thompson, Liam

Neeson, Keira Knightley, AlanRickman and Laura Linney. Thereis considerable nudity in this oneso it might not be suitable forfamily hour.

Last Christmas I recommendedthis one in the theaters, and thisChristmas I again recommend it,now on DVD. Fromwriter/director Thomas Bezuchacomes The Family Stone (2005), anold-fashioned CapraesqueChristmas tale with new-fashionedfamilyvalues.There arenosurpriseshere—you’ve

seenmost of itbefore—but it is soearnestlypresentedand sowonderfully acted, you’ll bedragged along, kicking, screaming,and ultimately laughing. Thismovie is very funny. And theoffbeat Stone clan, headed up byDiane Keaton and Craig T. Nelson,is a family you would love toknow, but probably not love to berelated to. Rounding out thisstellar cast is Rachel McAdams,Dermot Mulroney, Claire Danes,Sarah Jessica Parker and LukeWilson. The opening creditsequence with the animatedantique Christmas cards is worththe price of admission.

Beyond Tomorrow (1940) is oneof those “lost” films just starting tobe rediscovered. For years I’ve hadto settle for a bad VHS copyrecorded off the local late movieback at the dawn of VCRs. It was athrill for me to stumble across a“restored” version of this film onDVD in 2004, oddly retitledBeyond Christmas and releasedboth colorized and B&W by Fox.The box promised “deleted scenes”but I was stunned to discover that

it was Fox that deleted the scenesfor some reason, cutting therunning time from 84 to 79minutes. Funny way to “restore” afilm. Luckily, two other companies,VCI and Alpha, have released thisfilm under its original title and inits complete 84 minute length. Iwould recommend one of theseover the butchered Fox version.The story revolves around threeold bachelors played by HarryCarey, C. Aubrey Smith and

Charles Winninger, who, onChristmas Eve, take a young

couple under their wings.Tragically,the threecodgers arekilled in a

planeaccident and their ghosts mustattempt to guide the young lovers.A wonderful fantasy that holds upwell even after all these years.

Worthy of another look is thetimeless How the Grinch StoleChristmas! (1966) adapted fromDr. Seuss’ book by animation iconChuck Jones. While not completelyforgotten, this classic piece ofanimation has gotten displaced bya sadly inferior live actionpretender. The “cartoon” versionhas just been released in a special2-disc 50th Birthday DeluxeEdition by Warner. It is perfectlycast with Boris Karloff as both theGrinch and the narrator, withThurl Ravenscroft (the voice ofTony the Tiger) singing theunforgettable (no matter how youmight try) “You’re a Mean One,Mr. Grinch.” This version is just sogood, with all of its sweetness andmenace intact. And at 26 minutes,it’s just the right length. Also inthis set is Dr. Seuss’ Horton Hearsa Who.

Disney’s The Small One (1978)was really Don Bluth’s (The Secret

of NIMH, The Land Before Time)freshman effort producing aDisney short subject. And what aneffort! Funny, charming, andimpossible to watch without alump in your throat. Therelationship between the youngboy and his best friend, the wornout donkey, is perfectly realized.Unable to pull his own weightwith the chores, the donkey mustbe sold. Heartbroken, the boy takeshim into town to try to find hisfriend a good home. This is

released as part of WaltDisney’s Classic CartoonFavorites,Vol. 9-ClassicHoliday Stories which alsoincludes Mickey’s ChristmasCarol (1983) and Pluto’sChristmas Tree (1952).

The Jack Benny Programwas always funny. One of thefunniest episodes was a 1954Christmas entry, Jack DoesChristmas Shopping. While nottechnically a movie, this isavailable on DVD (in a numberof versions). This may be thefunniest television show I have

ever seen. Today’s sitcom writersneed to watch some of theseshows. This one features Mel Blanc(the voice of Bugs Bunny) in anunforgettably hilarious turn. Alsowatch for all the Jack Bennyregulars including Eddie‘Rochester’ Anderson, MaryLivingston, Don Wilson, DennisDay, and guest Richard Deacon.The version I recommend can befound on the DVD The ChristmasTV Episodes from LaserLight. Itnot only has the most completeversion of this episode available,but also features Christmas shows

from The Beverly Hillbillies andOzzie & Harriet.

Set Up Your TivoThe following films aren’t

available on DVD or tape, butwill be broadcast during theholiday season.

Holiday Affair (1949). RobertMitchum, Janet Leigh, and WendellCorey star in this funny Christmasromantic triangle. With this cast,how could it be anything butterrific? Turner Classic Movies,December 25, 1:30 a.m.

Remember the Night (1940).Written by the legendary PrestonSturges, this underrated Christmascomedy stars Barbara Stanwyck asa con artist/shoplifter and FredMacMurray as a lawyer who,through a series of unlikelycircumstances, ends up taking herto his family’s home overChristmas recess. This moviehasn’t been broadcast in years.Don’t miss it! Turner ClassicMovies, Dec 17, 5 p.m.

—Kurt Reichenbach is an actor, writer,singer, artist, and avid moviegoer. He can

be reached at kurtjazz@aol.com

I Saw it,I Liked itDVDs: Classics, Undiscovered Treasures, and Vintage TelevisionBy Kurt Reichenbach

BEACHWOOD VOICE Holiday Edition, 2006 ■ Volume 9, Number 4 Page 27

SeniorsCome live with our familyActually, we’re more like your second family, who are dedicated to

providing a quality living environment that is mindful of your security and

respectful of your needs.

We’ve been here in Hollywood in a beautiful historic building for almost

50 years. Our services include:

• Bachelors, Studios, 1 and

2 Bedroom Apartments

• Customized Care Plans

• Charming Dining Facilities

• Full Activities Program

• Scheduled Transportation

• 24-Hour Staff

• Monthly fees from $1,195 to $2,995

Call our Director, Nancy J Brown, at (323) 467-3121 to schedule a visit,

take a tour, and have lunch with us.

We are a non-profit, non-sectarian

apartment community.

We are family.

1745 N. Gramercy Place • Hollywood, California 90028 • License #191800073

Answers(Puzzle on page 24)

Doorbells Will Be Ringing

Visit BRUCEWALKER.COM to view current listings

BruceWalkerEXCEPTIONAL REAL ESTATE

....

I celebrate, Lord, all that is meAll You created and made me to be.

I celebrate, Lord, the visible meMy physicality;I celebrate, Lord, the mystic meMy spirituality;I celebrate, Lord, the rational me,My intellectuality;I celebrate, Lord, the feeling meMy sensuality;(Its orientation, whatever be);I celebrate, Lord, the passionate meMy genitality(The thrill of begetting another me).

I celebrate, Lord, the total me;For all these things, it is clear to see,You have put together,And called them “Me.”

—Harry Bartron

Harry’s book, Drummer Boy,A Novel of the AmericanCivil War is now releasedand available at Amazon.comHis photo, bio, and poetryexhibit can be seen on theWorld Wide Web at the fol-lowing address:

http://www.poets.com/harrybartron.htmlMore of his poetry can be seen by visiting thefollowing address: www.poetry.com and entering “Harry Bartron” onthe “Search for an ILP Poet” box.

First came the maiden, innocent, kindIgnorant, yet witty,

with an unweathered mind,Danced and sang the flowers into bloomWith stories of beauty, and none of doom,Then one day, love teased her heart,It brought her into, with a startThe body, not the soul, of anotherThat became known as the Mother.

The mother protects, worries, and curesEveryone and everything

that she calls hers,She loves her children, and

they love her backThough she often says

they cut her no slack,Toils and fixes, day and night

Learning and creating in the moonlight,Eventually, the moon

moves overhead and it’s shownThat the Mother has become the Crone.

Wise and knowing, most learned of allBent and wrinkled, yet the soul stands tall,The Crone is the teacher,

the caretaker of mindHer stiff hands and tired eyes

shows that she’s kind,She teaches the mother,

she teaches the maidenThat their souls will one day be ladenAnd at the end of their journey

they will learnThat love is indeed what

makes the world turn.

In Celebration of Me

MMaaiiddeenn,, MMootthheerr,, CCrroonnee

—Amanda Ausman is fifteen and a half years old, studieshard and would one day like to be a writer and illustrator.

Page 28 Holiday Edition, 2006 ■ Volume 9, Number 4 BEACHWOOD VOICE

hundreds of bonneted & pinafore-wearing children about to see theirheroine come onstage in the outdooramphitheatre. The production isheartfelt and our youngest leftfeeling he had seen somethingmagical, so we all agreed to besatisfied. Laura Ingalls WilderPageant, 888-859-3102;www.walnutgrove.org/pageant.htm

One family member born inWalnut Grove never makes anappearance in Laura’s books.Charles Frederick, Laura’s onlybrother, was born there in 1875, butdied en route to Burr Oak, Iowa in1876. Laura never wrote about hertime in Burr Oak; the family stayedonly one year then returned toWalnut Grove for two more years.

Our next stop, 111 miles west onHwy 14, brings us to De Smet,South Dakota, the setting for TheLong Winter, By the Shores of SilverLake, The Little Town on the Prairie,

These Happy Golden Years and TheFirst Four Years.

“Laura’s Living Prairie: theIngalls Homestead” is located onemile southeast of De Smet. TheSullivan family bought the 160 acresof gently rolling prairie in 1996 andrestored the homestead to thecondition it was in after CharlesIngalls claimed it in 1880. TheSullivans replicated the homestead’sstructures including a shanty-sidedhome outfitted as if the Ingallsfamily just stepped away. Take aride under the arching blue sky in acovered wagon, or try your hand atguiding a horse & buggy. Kids canattend a one-room schoolhouse for aliving history lesson and try theirhand at rope-spinning or otherfarmhand crafts in the spaciousbarn. Upstairs in the hayloft,discover kittens and a retiredstagecoach. Outside, full-sized andminiature horses nuzzle guests for

treats. In a separate outbuilding,kids try on period clothes and rompon a covered wagon. The IngallsHomestead offers a few rusticaccommodations in its bunkhouseand sheepherders’ wagons. Cost is$35-40, or pitch a tent for $10. If youcan only make it to one of Laura’shome sites, this one is it. 800-776-3594; www.ingallshomestead.com.

In nearby De Smet, the LauraIngalls Wilder Memorial Societytakes you on narrated tours of theSurveyors House, where the familylived during their first winter in DeSmet, and the house Pa built whenhe and Ma moved off the farm. Seealso the Loftus general store, whereLaura once shopped—it’s still inbusiness! In July, 2007, the LauraIngalls Wilder Pageant will presentits 36th annual salute to the author,“These Happy Golden Years,”performed under the oldcottonwood trees Pa planted in the

1880s. A Laura Ingalls Wilderfestival, with old-time fiddlers andstorytellers, is concurrent; weekends,July 6-22. www.discoverlaura.org,800-880-3383

Laura married Almanzo (FarmerBoy) Wilder in 1885. They had onesurviving child, but no grand-children. Laura’s sisters—Mary,Carrie and Grace—also had nochildren of their own. Yet to readLaura’s books is to keep the Ingallsfamily alive; treasuring the thingsLaura did—the wild prairie and allof its inhabitants; humble andhardworking farm families; books,learning and reading; telling thetruth and standing up to bullies; inshort, to love what is best aboutAmerica and our Midwestern ethic.Visit these places yourself and hearthe voice of this thoroughlyAmerican girl who still speaks tous today in simple language aboutwhat endures.

Terri Gerger, GRItgerger@pacbell.net

www.talktoterri.com323.466.3875

9200 Sunset Boulevard, Suite 200 Los Angeles, California 90069310.205.0305 socalsir.com

JUST LISTED 6484 Odin Streetoffered at $885,000

DRESDENTHE

RESTAURANT

(323) 665-4294 1760 N. Vermont Avenuein Los Feliz Village

www.TheDresden.comAmerican-Continental Cuisine

“A Hollywood Landmark for over 60 years”

Open for Lunch! Plenty of parking in back

We’re now offering more in-house services than ever!

Dr. Fariba Kalantari

A Team You Can Trust* Family Dentistry * Cosmetic

* Implants * Sedation* Digital X-rays * Da Vinci Veneers

* Endodontics * Laser gum treatment

ANEW STAR

For BEACHWOOD VOICE Readers Only FREE Exam & X-rays with NEW

patient hygiene visit

Call or email to set up your next visit 323-461-4676 • hollywooddentalcare@earthlink.net

1777 N. Vine St. (across from Capitol Records)www.hollywooddentalcare.com

ANEWSTAR

On the Frontier Trail of Laura Ingalls Wilder Continued from page 18.

enjoy Christmastime, wining and dining in near eighty-degree heat on the patio while the rest of the countryfreezes? 323-461-8800; www.patinagroup.com/eatSunset

Off Vine: Step into a New England Cottage decoratedwith garlands, lights and trees—one of the most festiveplaces to dine during the Holiday season whether forbrunch, lunch or a romantic, cozy dinner. CelebrateChristmas Eve or New Years Eve and order the chocolatesoufflé for dessert! 323-962-1900; www.offvine.com

Pazzo Gelato: Take a gelato break at L.A.’s newest andmost provocative ice cream store—maybe it’s time tosample a chocolate martini (pazzo style) or just relax witha Pazzogato (a scoop of sumptuous ice cream with a shotof espresso poured over it – yum!); Sunset betweenHyperion and Lucille in Silverlake. 323-662-1410

Renaissance Restaurant: Take your mom to SundayBrunch as a way to celebrate the season, walk through thegardens and contemplate the New Year. Also available forrentals for that big holiday party you’ve wanted to throw.323-960-3100; www.celebritycentre.org/en_US/about/tour/restaurant/index.htmlLast Minute

Caught empty-handed on your way down the hill? Stopby the Beachwood Market, 323-464-7154, for a bottle ofwine from the store’s outstanding collection. Or how abouta tin of grape leaves for a big, fat Greek Christmas? Nextstore is Hollywoodland Antiques, 323-962-2438, witheclectic & quirky collectibles. Or, if your destination is of aspiritual bent, try the Vedanta Temple store, 323-465-7114,just off Vine at Argyle, for Buddhas, books and more.

—Compiled by Prudence Baird & Rona Edwards

Ujamaa Continued from page 21.

BEACHWOOD VOICE Holiday Edition, 2006 ■ Volume 9, Number 4 Page 29

By Humberto GuidaSome see him as one of

the most fearless filmmakersin modern cinema andtelevision while otherswince at the brutallysophomoric comedy he’sunleashed on viewers byway of the (anti)-culturalphenomenon known asJackass. Either waydirector/producer JeffTremaine is your neighbor.And though he swears hedoesn’t go wild when he’snestled in his Beachwoodhome, his life as the brainbehind the televisionand movie series isabout as wild as itgets. I got a chance tocatch up withTremaine in betweenhis world tour topromote this pastsummer’s smashtheatrical hit, JackassNumber Two.

“It’s been a blur. Ijust got back from aworld tour where wewent from Amsterdamto Mexico City toLondon to Norway. It’sinsane,” he says,“Everyone seems to bereally excited about it,but for some reasonour movie tends to dowell only in Englishspeaking countries…and I’m not really surewhy because thedialogue is not thatimportant in Jackass.”

For those of you notalready familiar withJackass, here’s somebackground: It debuted asa reality series on MTV in2000. The series showcasedthe head-smashing, bone-breaking, and let’s notforget ball-busting antics ofa bunch of skateboarddeviants with way toomuch time on their handsand an obviously hightolerance for pain. Theseries was successfulenough to spawn spin-offsand a movie franchise.Here’s one example of theshenanigans that ensue ona Jackass production: castmember Steve-O staplingthe skin of his scrotum tohis thigh, laughing andcrying about it at the sametime. Yes people, Jackassaims at the lowestdenominator, but it is lowbrow at its best. In fact, themost recent flick not onlykilled at the box office, italso received surprisinglygood reviews…not thatthey made Tremaine happy.

Jackass’s Helmer Jeff Tremaine“To be honest I was a

little disappointed by thepositive reviews, I kind oflike the negative reviewsbecause they’re usuallyfunny, mostly. But I dobelieve this was thestrongest project we’vedone to date, so we weren’tthat surprised.”

One of Jackass’strademarks is that they’reshot like crummy homevideos. So I asked Tremainewhat he thought made this“low budget” productionso profitable. He laughs

whole-heartedly when Imention the term “lowbudget,” as if he knowshe’s getting away withmurder considering he’sgot lines around the blockpaying ten bucks a head tosee these things. “You know,we’re making a cartoonwith real people. That’s allit really is. And I thinkpeople like to watch agroup of friends who reallylike to f*%@ with eachother. But the truth is Idon’t know how to analyzewhy people respond towhat we do. I know peoplelike to watch a train wreck,and that’s what we are.”

Tremaine hooked upwith his cast of characters,including currentHollywood star JohnnyKnoxville, little personstunt man Wee Man,skater jester Chris Pontius,and pro-skater/delinquentBam Magera, on theskateboarding circuit.

Tremaine had beenpublishing a magazinecalled Big Brother. “It wasa humor magazine hidingbehind a skateboardmagazine and we startedmaking videos thatsupplemented themagazine.”

It wasn’t until Knoxvillecame up with the idea totest self defense equipmenton himself, which Tremaineshot and put together, thathe realized he could makea TV show out of all hisrowdy friends. He called

his childhood friend,director Spike Jonze andJonze provided him withhis access to Hollywood.So what was the initialreaction to the demo tapesTremaine put together?

“It was a very mixedreaction. Our first pitchwas to HBO, and after weshowed it to them therewere crickets in the room.They didn’t get it. It was anawkward first meeting.After that I didn’t thinkthis show was going to fly.But luckily our nextmeeting was with MTVand they loved it.”

At this point I have toask Tremaine (who comesup with many of theJackass ideas) about hisdirectorial style. His answeris as tongue-in-cheek as myquestion. “Calling me adirector is like callingKnoxville an actor. I’m morea head coach. I motivate theguys to do things they don’t

want to do.”Don’t they have

issues with the factyou’re demanding themto maim themselveswhile you’re safe behindthe camera? “Oh yeah. Iget attacked by them allthe time. So I constantlyhave to stand with myback against the walland my hands over mycrotch barking outorders. But every time Iput my guard down theyget me.”

Perfect example: After

the first day of shooting thenew movie, Tremaine wentto a bar in Orlando. At onepoint in the night he looksdown at his leg and it wasa blazing inferno. “My legwas on fire! Standing nextto me was Ryan Doug justlaughing away with alighter in his hand. Thankgoodness next to him wasWee Man who unzippedhimself and peed thewhole thing out.Unfortunately there wereno cameras around.”

There were camerasaround during one of themost dangerous stunts everfilmed—Steve O kickingthe head of an oncomingmako shark. “Here’s thefunny thing. We’re filmingwith Animal Planet’sManny Puig. He makesyou feel safe, like nothingbad is going to happenwith him around. Butreally, Manny is actuallythere to make the situation

explosively dangerous. Sohe gets Steve-O’sconfidence high enough to

get in the water withthe shark. But really it’snot that safe. Iremember we couldn’tsee the shark comingtowards Steve O butwe could here thepanic in Manny’s voicebecause this makoshark is tracking SteveO’s foot. Makos tend toattack by biting the finsoff their prey. In otherwords, if the shark wasgoing to attack, it wasgoing to bite a foot.Luckily Steve O kickedit in the head byaccident and it swamoff. And Steve Ofreaked out. We’reconstantly nervous andwe know things can gowrong, but this is whatwe do.”

That’s when I askTremaine, whose crewis known to set townson fire, literally, if helives it up at home.“I’ve had a few parties,

but for the most part I’mmellow. If anything,Knoxville is the partyanimal, but his house isusually five or six peoplegetting drunk. I’ve beenliving in the Hills in theBeachwood area for sixyears now. I like thecloseness of the neighbor-hood. It’s in the thick ofthings but cozy enough towhere I don’t feelsmothered by the wholeHollywood existence.”

So what’s next forTremaine? “I got a newshow call Rob and Big, areality show on MTV aboutan odd couple, a skate-boarder and his bodyguard,living together up in theHills by Lake Hollywood.But past that I don’t know.I’m kind of taking a littlebreak and seeing whatmakes sense. But idlehands are the devil’splaything so I’ll be up to nogood pretty soon.”

Jeff Tremaine (right) and Chris Pontius.

Caught in Conversation

“Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of ourchildhood days, recall to the old man pleasures of his youth, andtransport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!”

—Charles Dickens

Page 30 Holiday Edition, 2006 ■ Volume 9, Number 4 BEACHWOOD VOICE

BACCHUS REPORT

ll that bubbles is notChampagne. Germans

have their Sekt, Italianstheir Spumante, Lambruscoand Prosecco, Spaniardstheir CAVA. Of over 2billion bottles of sparklingwines sold annuallyworldwide Champagneonly ships 300 million.Champagne is a wine-producing region of France,about 90 miles northeast ofParis that makes sparklingwine. And it is only thissparkling wine whichfollows a strict set of rulesand regulations according toChampagne’s AppellationOrigine d’Controlle (AOC)that should be called“Champagne.” (The Frenchterm “Crémant” is used torefer to sparkling wine notmade in the Champagneregion.) So while the classicexample of a sparkling wineis Champagne, many otherexamples are produced.Sparkling wine is usuallywhite (Blanc de Blancs, awine in which all of thewines in the blend arechardonnay), or Rosé,(usually made by adding asmall bit of pinot noir wineto the bottle before thesecond fermentation), butthere are several examplesof red Australian SparklingShiraz. Some wines aremade only lightly

sparkling, such as VinhoVerde in Portugal - suchwines are often calledfrizzante or pétillant, orsimply semi-sparkling. TheChampagne’s AppellationOrigine d’Controlle rulesstate that Champagne is tobe made from one or ablend of Chardonnay, PinotMeunier and Pinot Noir.(Yes, white and red grapes).It also designates specificproduction methods. Asmall amount of non-sparkling wine is made inChampagne and carries thedesignation “CoteauxChampenois.” Effervescenceis the distinctive mark ofChampagne wines, a touchof magic that makes themunique. No matter howmuch the bottle costs, thesparkly bubble in any bottleis due to the addition of asignificant level of carbondioxide. The carbon dioxideresults from naturalfermentation, either in thebottle or in a large tank.Different methods createvery different results.

The MéthodeChampenoise (ChampagneMethod) is also known asMéthode Traditionnelle(Traditional) or MéthodeClassique. The grapes areharvested and pressed andthe initial fermentationtakes place in stainless steel

vats and continues until thewine is completely dry. It isthen blended with othervintages to make the cuvee(base wine). The cuvee isbottled with a mixture ofsugar and yeast, known astriage, that becomes thecatalyst for secondaryfermentation. The bottlesare then placed at a forty-five degree angle, necks-down, in an “A-frame”rack, called a pupitre. Thebottles are then twisted byhand to dislodge sedimentand have them resettle intothe bottle neck. This iscalled riddling. Traditionallyriddling is done by handbut it is now being replacedby machines, Gyropalettes,that are less labor intensiveand quicker in productiontime. Once the bottles havefinished a turn rotation, thesediment is removedthrough disgorgement.(The pressure in a bottle ofChampagne beforedisgorging averages about110 psi—71⁄2 atmospheresor 760 kPa—about threetimes that in an automobiletire, and after disgorging,about 75 psi—5 atmospheresor 520 kPa—almost doublethe pressure of a bottle ofbeer.) The bottle necks nowcontain the sediment andare frozen. The pressureinside the bottle releasesthe ice-block of particles. Amixture of sugar and wine(called a shipping dosage)added to the wine justbefore its final bottlingdetermines theChampagne’s final level ofsweetness. The higher thepercentage of sugar in theshipping dosage, the higherthe sweetness level of thefinal Champagne. Thewords “Brut,” “Sec,” etcfound on a bottle ofsparkling wine areindicative of the amount ofsugar contained, in gramsper liter, “residual sugar.”The most popular of theseis Brut. The sweetnesslevels are as follows: ExtraBrut: very, very dry, 0 to.6% residual sugar. Brut:dry, less than 1.5% residualsugar, Extra Dry: off-dry,1.2 to 2% residual sugar.Sec: lightly sweet, 1.7 to3.5% residual sugar. Demi-Sec: quite sweet, 3.3 to 5%residual sugar, and Doux:sweet, more than 5%residual sugar. MostChampagne firms make atleast three categories ofwine: non-vintage, vintage,and prestige cuvée. Thevast majority of theChampagne produced eachyear is designated non-vintage. As the nameimplies, non-vintageChampagne does not carrythe vintage year on itslabel. This is because it ismade from a blend of

grapes fromdifferentharvests andusuallyrepresents aChampagneproducer’stypicalhouse style.

Thewines in avintageChampagnecome onlyfrom the yeardesignated on thelabel. VintageChampagnes areonly made in topyears. Champagneproducers are notcalled wineries butHouses, eachChampagneHouse hasits owndistinct style andflair. You may recognizesome of these names:Charles Heidseick, Krug,Laurent-Perrier, Moet etChandon, Perrier-JouetFleur, Pol Roger, LouisRoederer (Cristal) andVeuve Clicquot. MostChampagne housesproduce vintageChampagne an average ofthree times per decade.Prestige Cuvées are eachfirm’s top-of-the-line wine.It too will only be made ingreat years and the grapeswill come only from thefirm’s best vineyards. Fromharvest to final bottles, theChampagne Method takesat least 2 to 5 years.

The Transfer Method isless expensive, less timeconsuming and less laborintensive than theChampagne Method. Theprocess is the same until thewine is removed from thebottle while still underpressure. This maintains thebubble. The wine is thenfiltered and bottled intonew bottles. The wine stillhas a decent flavor but thefilter process can reduce fullyeast flavors and some ofthe sparkle. The label mayread, “Fermented in thebottle” whereas champagnemethod labels will read,“Fermented in this bottle.”

The Charmat Process,the Bulk Process or ClosedCuvée all describe thesparkling wine productionmethod wherein the wineundergoes secondaryfermentation in a largestainless steel tank. Thewine is filtered and bottledfrom the bulk tanks whileunder pressure. Thismethod results in coarser,large bubbles with simpleflavors. This method isgreat for aromatic grapessuch as Muscat Blanc.Charmat Process is fasterand can be done in about 3weeks. Many American

sparkling wines use thismethod.

Artificial carbonation isthe cheapest way to go.Carbon dioxide is injectedinto the wine like soda popproduction. This methodproduces large bubbles witha very short sparkle. Theseare the $4 choices. You canliterally look at a glass ofsparkling wine anddetermine the method ofproduction–when thebubbles are tiny and in themillions (it has beenestimated that there are 49million bubbles per bottle ofChampagne), the techniqueof production wasChampagne; the bigger andfewer the bubbles, the lesseris the quality.

Of course Champagnewould not exist today if itweren’t for a 17th centuryBenedictine monk andcellar master for the Abbeyof Hautvillers near Epernay,named Dom Perignon. He“invented” champagne.Since the cold weather didnot allow for a completefermentation, the wineessentially re-fermented inthe spring. This resulted inbubbles. Dom Perignonoriginally thought this wasa sign of bad winemakingand when he couldn’tfigure out a way to preventthe bubbles, he decided tofocus on making thesparkly wine moreappealing. He said, “Comequickly, brothers, I’mdrinking stars.” So, removethe foil, undo the wire cagewithout removing it, graspthe cork and the cage firmlywith your hand, then at a45° angle, turn the bottleitself by holding it at thebase (the cork will come outof its own accord), pourinto a tulip-shaped or tall,thin flute, sip, and you toowill be drinking stars.

—Aynne Ingram

A

323-957-0901www.focusfish.com

Health Club • Pilates• Personal Training •

GYROTONIC®• Yoga • Dance Studio •

Classes for Kids• New Moms Class •

Massage • Beauty Salon• Juice Bar •

Baby Sitting • Valet Parking

Helping people gothrough life swimminglywith a variety of services

6121 Santa Monica Blvd. (at Gower)Hollywood, CA 90038

Pop the Cork—Tis the Season for Champagne

“I cook with w

ine—som

etimes I even add it to the food.”

—W

.C. Fields

BEACHWOOD VOICE Holiday Edition, 2006 ■ Volume 9, Number 4 Page 31

Advice of a New Parent to a Brand New Parent

BABY LOVE:

by Susan Dziama

PART IIWelcome back! Just to review what I

discussed last time, as a new parent, I offerwhat limited information I have to brand newparents out there, based on my experienceswith my husband and daughter. This is thesecond installment, and the continuation of the“Top 10 Things I Was Never Told About BeingA New Parent.” To recap:

#10. Sleep. You are at the mercy of yourchild’s sleeping patterns. For a while, no onekeeps worse sleep hours than you.

#9. Friends. You still have them, you maynot see them as often, and you may have newones. After all, who else will want to hear aboutthe horrific diapers you get to change?

So now it is time for the next two topics. . .

#8 YOUR PARTNERHe or she changes, too. Remember, women’s

daily lives change the moment they learn theyare pregnant. They need to eat better, stopdrinking altogether, take vitamins, handle achanging body, emotionally prepare, etc. Men’sdaily lives, although there is some mental andemotional preparation, do not really changeuntil their child is born. Up until that point,they can still go out, have some drinks, and fitinto all of their clothes.

Because your lives change at different times,it is important to keep that in mind so you donot get upset with each other. There is a lot ofwork to be done, so take turns, pick up theslack if needed, and understand that you bothneed your own time to get a grip oneverything. And once in a while, do somethingnice and unexpected for your mate to keepthings fresh.

In my own experience, I had a very roughlabor, with a delivery that ended in anemergency C-section. I was whipped and in a

lot of pain. After we gothome from thehospital, myhusband carried alot of the load.My mobilitywas still a bitlimited forthe firstfew weeks,so hecared forus,cookedourmeals,and rantheerrands.

When Iwas finallybegan to feelbetter, hereturned to workand I took over.With less interruptedsleep, I had the energy todo the housework, cookingand shopping. We still continue towork as a team. When one of us needsa break, the other takes over. Once in a whilewe surprise each other by cleaning when one ofus is away, or with a special treat, or a take-outmeal from a favorite restaurant.

#7 YOUR LIFESTYLEYou will now need to add five to ten extra

minutes for routine errands like going to thegrocery store, bank or post office. Try not toview this with impatience or as a burden, butas a special kind of quality time to spend withyour child. If you are accustomed to diningout, that may not be an option for quite some

time. But when you dogo out, have fun! It

may be challengingat first, and

sometimesterrifying, but

the more yougo out, evenif it is justto thestore, theeasier itgets. Andit will beeasy ifyoupreparewell.

I wasextremely

terrified thefirst few times

I drovesomewhere alone

with my daughter. Ipacked extra diapers,

extra clothes, extraeverything—and I was just

going for some groceries. I worriedabout my driving, other drivers, the

weather, you name it. Finally it dawned on methat I had to get out or else go crazy. Beingwell-prepared—even overly prepared—eliminates unnecessary worry. So, I make it apoint to go out every day. Any little jaunt isenjoyable and refreshing not only for me butalso for my daughter who seems delighted tobe on-the-go. For the trip, I give her some toys,play the Beatles, and she is a happy camper!

Until next time, enjoy every moment, takecare of your partner, too, and always be overlyprepared!

Baby Sahana

Right: Looking west along Hollywood Boulevard from Highland Avenue. That isthe old Hollywood Hotel peeking out from behind the palm trees. The HollywoodBoulevard Streetcar would disappear a scant four years after the picture wassnapped. The intersection presents a far different image today with a multi-storyretail plaza and the 3,500 seat Kodak Theater.

Photos from the collection of Raphael F. Long

Ray Remembers by Raphael F. Long

Right: December, 1951, looking east along Hollywood Boulevard from HighlandAvenue. Christmas decorations are up and Thanksgiving has just past. Weather isunseasonably warm thanks to late Santa Ana winds which have cleaned thesmog out of the basin. The red car would turn around at Sunset and Gardnerbefore making its return trip to the downtown Subway Terminal.

Left: Looking west along Hollywood Boulevard from McCadden Place. The lack oftraffic is almost surreal. There is not a Toyota, Honda or Volkswagen anywhere tobe seen. Palm trees at Highland Avenue mark the Hollywood Hotel which wouldfall victim to the 12 story high First Federal Savings of Hollywood and in turn bythe Hollywood & Highland Center.

“Chi

ldre

n ar

e lik

ely

to li

ve u

p to

wha

t you

bel

ieve

of t

hem

.”—

Lad

y Bi

rd J

ohns

on“M

y m

othe

r ta

ught

me

to w

alk

prou

d an

d ta

ll 'a

s if

the

wor

ld w

as m

ine.

”—

Sop

hia

Lore

n

Page 32 Holiday Edition, 2006 ■ Volume 9, Number 4 BEACHWOOD VOICE

If it is true that we lovesomeone for how we feelabout ourselves with himor her, we have in loverelationships potent cluesas to how to love ourselves.How does someone makeus feel special? With anadoring gaze? By speakingwords of affirmation? Dothey bring us gifts thatshow they want to make ushappy? Do they performloving acts of service, frommundane tasks such aspicking up the cleaning toplanning a surprisebirthday party? Do theyphone and plan fun thingsto do together? Does shereach for your hand as youwalk down the street, anddoes he gently stroke yourhair as you cuddle on thesofa? Each of these meansof expressing love–words ofappreciation, gifts, acts ofservice, attention, andtouch–will also nurture thelove we must have forourselves to be healthy,happy human beings.

How do we talk toourselves? Words ofaffirmation mirror for usour best self–our God-self–and show us what inus is valuable to this person.Appreciation makes it iseasier for us to recognizeand expand into ourpotential. Remembering ourGod-self strengthens us toembrace parts of ourselvesagainst which we havejudgments and to hear

how to heal. Receivingwords of affirmation andacknowledgment requiresboth hearing andaccepting. If the message iscredible and we value theperception of the personsending it, we are fed.

Gifts are an investmentof energy, time, and moneyto bring someone pleasure.They make us feelimportant. What gifts canwe give ourselves? Whatinvestments in ourselves ofmoney, time and energycan we receive, trusting thatsuch investments are notonly acceptable but alsoessential? Can we spendthe extra money for a trulycomfortable pair of shoes,an exquisite ring, or aluxurious sofa? Can wegive ourselves a sculptureclass, or carve out a coupleof hours a week to walk bya lake or stroll through agallery? What treasureslurk at the edges of ourconsciousness—waiting?

We perform acts ofservice for ourselves whenwe buy or barter services toenhance our lives. When wework with an interiordesigner, an organizer, oreven a housekeeper, we arecreating beauty and order inthe space we call home, aspace that so profoundlyaffects the flow of ourenergy and well-being thatthe art/science of feng shuievolved to systematize theprocess. When we arrange

for a massage, we tell ourbody that it is important,that we recognize the strainsof living in flesh and bone,and that it deserves thepleasure of healing touch.“Thank you, Body, forserving me so well.” An actof service to ourselves couldbe to stop procrastinating, tolook at the fear underlyingthe procrastination, and dowhatever needs to be doneto resolve the issue. Couldwe hire an accountingstudent for a couple ofhours a month to keep ourbooks so that we reallyknow how we are managingour money? Could we buy asoftware package to write awill? Shining a light onshadows straining in ourconsciousness reverses theerosion of our peace andopens the door to serenity.

When we love someone,the longing to be in theirpresence and to share life isa powerful drive. Howoften do we long to be insomeone else’s presence toavoid being with ourselves?We do not negate thepowerfully nurturing andexpanding benefits of beingwith friend, child or lover,when we focus attentionand energy on therelationship we have withourselves. We need times ofexternal and internalquietude to discover whatwe are saying to ourselves,to disengage fromconversations in our heads

that are harsh andjudgmental, whether theyare familiar voices from thepast or now so internalizedthat we think they are ourown perceptions. We needtime alone to learn to be asgenerous with ourselves aswe are with others. In thistime with ourselves we feelthe state of our energy andexplore the rich potential ofeach moment. How will weinvest those moments withourselves? Pausing to savorthe translucent quality ofsunlight filtering throughfluorescent-colored autumnleaves fills our souls andhelps us rest in the timelessspace of Now. We canmeditate on a pillow insilence or in a hot bubblebath with candles glowingand soft music playing. Wecan accept the sweet dreamsor welcome oblivion of aSunday afternoon nap. Wecan sip a latte in theneighborhood coffee shopwhile writing out thedreams we are manifestingin language thatacknowledges that they arehere now!

Touch is a powerful toolfor healing andtransmission of energy andyet one that we rarely useon and for ourselves. Weforget to rub our own feetwhen they hurt or massageour own temples to relievea headache. The palms ofour hands, the inside of ourears, and the soles of our

feet all containaccupressure-accupuncturepoints for our entire bodywith which to comfort andrefresh ourselves. Thephysical symptoms ofworry, fear, anger, sorrow,and “trying” can beamazingly alleviated byindividually andsequentially holding thefingers of one hand in thegentle fist of the other, astaught in jin shin jitsu,allowing one’s energy toshift and emotions to settle.The pleasurable release ofhormones during sexualarousal is no less beneficialwhen it is a gift solely fromourselves to ourselves.

Shift your awarenesstowards how you feel aboutbeing You. We truly cannotgive anyone else what wecannot give ourselves. Ourgifts become distorted byour needs, yearnings andexpectations. The intentionto love ourselves fully—including forgiveness,acceptance and joy for all ofwho we are—fills us insideand creates a greater flowof love to all around us.

MY SELF, I LOVE YOU!REFLECTIONS By Barbara Snow

MMeeddiiccaall WWeellllnneessss CCaarree–– WWhhaatt aa CCoonncceepptt!!

DDoo yyoouu oonnllyy ggoo ttoo tthhee ddooccttoorr wwhheenn yyoouuaarree ssiicckk??

Why wait until you are sick to take care ofyourself? Many health problems arepreventable by living a healthy lifestyle, andare easier to treat when detected early.These conditions include: hypertension,glaucoma, macular degeneration,diabetes, and hypercholesterolemia(the presence of high levels ofcholesterol in the blood). WWhhyy HHaavvee PPrreevveennttiivvee EEyyee EExxaammss

Annual eye health exams aregreat for preventive reasonsand because the eyes are the“window to your health.”First of all, most eye diseasesdo not have symptoms becausethere are no pain receptors inthe retina; therefore, it’s veryimportant to check thehealth of your eyes everyyear. This allows for thedetection and treatment ofeye diseases, such asglaucoma, maculardegeneration, and diabeticretinopathy before youlose vision.

The eye is the only transparent part ofthe body that can be seen into because youcan see out; therefore, many health

problems are detectable through the eyes.For example, optometrists can see signs ofhypertension, hypercholesterolemia, anddiabetes in your eyes.

Another reason to have an annual eyeexam is that your vision changes gradually,

and since you have nothing to compareyour sight to, most people cannot tell

that they are “missing things” andnot seeing their best. When youaren’t seeing well, you have to workharder to perform visual activities(such as reading, driving, computerwork, watching TV . . . almost

everything you do!) so it alsomakes you tired and lessproductive.

So as you can see, annualvision exams are an important

part of staying healthy andenjoying life.

To your health!

—Elise Brisco, O.D.,F.A.A.O., F.C.O.V.D.

For more info on this article,call Dr. Brisco at 323-954-5800

or send your letters toBeachwoodVoice@sbcglobal.net.

“Some people ow

n cats and go on to lead normal lives.”

—Author Unknow

n“W

e are what w

e think. All that we are arises w

ith our thoughts. With our thoughts w

e make the w

orld.”—

Sid Gautama

BEACHWOOD VOICE Holiday Edition, 2006 ■ Volume 9, Number 4 Page 33

“…I wish this book had beenaround when I was starting out – it would have saved me years.”

—David Madden, Executive Vice President,

Fox Television Studios, Producer, Save the Last Dance and

Something The Lord Made

“…Required reading for anyone interested in how studio movies really get made.”

—Nina Jacobson, President, Buena Vista

Motion Pictures Group

$18.95, ISBN 1-58065-062-7

5055 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90036Phone 323.525.2369 or 800.815.0503 • www.hcdonline.com

“I LIKED IT, DIDN’T LOVE IT” Screenplay Development From the Inside Out

By Rona Edwards & Monika Skerbelis

ESE Online

Film Workshops 2007—

See

www.esentertainment.net

For more info.

© 2006 CSCCI. All Rights Reserved.

Old Hollywood Class right on Franklin Avenue...

The award-winning

Friendly service, award-winning wine list, Maitre D’ named Sommelier of the Year...

Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner(except Tuesday Breakfast)

Monthly wine dinners

Private parties and events available

Sunday Brunch served weekly 10:30am - 2:30pm

Located on the groundsof The Manor Hotel 5930 Franklin Avenue

(parking lot entrance off Bronson Ave)

CALL (323) 960-3100 FOR RESERVATIONS. ASK FOR KOURY LONON FOR MORE

INFORMATION REGARDING

PRIVATE PARTIES AND EVENT BOOKINGS.

w

Wes

tern

Hig

hlan

d

101 Bro

nson

Vin

eHollywood Blvd.

Sunset Blvd.

Franklin Ave.

Healing Day Spain Beachwood Canyon

Tessa DarbonneEsthetician, CNA, ProprietorInternationally acclaimed healing Skincare Specialist.Best organic face and body lift on the planet!Healing facials using the purest and most advancedingredients. Gentle body waxing and tinting.(323)467-5350“When people ask me what I do to keep my skin soyouthful and radiant, I tell them I go to TessaDarbonne. My skin has never looked so fabulous!”Stephanie Hagen, Producer, Desperate Housewives

Charisse LandiseChakra Shiatsu, Aromatherapy ReflexologyHealing Artist to the Stars and their families.(323)377-4017“I really enjoy my work with Charisse and always feel uplifted after our sessions.”Pamela Anderson, Actress

Amy FlanzbaumLMT, Deep Tissue, Sports, Swedish MassageSpecific support to restore and relieve tension.(323)466-0607“Amy’s touch is profoundly healing and very effective.”Dr. Sophie Otis

Tessa Darbonne European Skin Care2700 N. Beachwood Dr., Los Angeles, Ca. 90068

Going Down?While walking down

the street one day a USsenator is tragically hitby a truck and dies.

His soul arrives inheaven and is met by St.Peter at the entrance.“Welcome to heaven,”says St. Peter. “Beforeyou settle in, it seemsthere is a problem. Weseldom see a high officialaround these parts, yousee, so we’re not surewhat to do with you.”

“No problem, just letme in,” says the man.

“Well, I’d like to, but Ihave orders from higherup. What we’ll do ishave you spend one dayin hell and one inheaven. Then you canchoose where to spendeternity.”

“Really, I’ve made upmy mind. I want to be inheaven,” says thesenator.

“I’m sorry, but wehave our rules.”

And with that, St.Peter escorts him to theelevator and he goesdown, down, down tohell. The doors open andhe finds himself in themiddle of a green golfcourse. In the distance isa clubhouse andstanding in front of it areall his friends and otherpoliticians who hadworked with him.

Everyone is veryhappy and in eveningdress. They run to greethim, shake his hand, and

reminisce about the goodtimes they had whilegetting rich at theexpense of the people.

They play a friendlygame of golf and thendine on lobster, caviarand champagne.

Also present is thedevil, who really is avery friendly guy whohas a good time dancingand telling jokes. Theyare having such a goodtime that before herealizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him ahearty farewell andwaves while the elevatorrises...

The elevator goes up,up, up and the doorreopens on heavenwhere St. Peter is waitingfor him.

“Now it’s time to visitheaven.”

So, 24 hours pass withthe senator joining agroup of contented soulsmoving from cloud tocloud, playing the harpand singing. They havea good time and, beforehe realizes it, the 24

hours have gone by andSt. Peter returns.

“Well, then, you’vespent a day in hell andanother in heaven. Nowchoose your eternity.”The senator reflects for aminute, then he answers:“Well, I would never havesaid it before, I meanheaven has been delight-ful, but I think I would bebetter off in hell.”

So St. Peter escortshim to the elevator andhe goes down, down,down to hell.

Now the doors of theelevator open and he’s inthe middle of a barrenland covered with wasteand garbage.

He sees all his friends,dressed in rags, pickingup the trash and puttingit in black bags as moretrash falls from above.

The devil comes overto him and puts his armaround his shoulder.

“I don’t understand,”stammers the senator.“Yesterday I was hereand there was a golfcourse and clubhouse,and we ate lobster andcaviar, drankchampagne, and dancedand had a great time.Now there’s just awasteland full of garbageand my friends lookmiserable. Whathappened?”

The devil looks athim, smiles and says,“Yesterday we werecampaigning . . .Todayyou voted.”

Laughter---The Great Medicine

“THE MAIN REASON SANTA IS SOJOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS

WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.”—George Carlin

Page 34 Holiday Edition, 2006 ■ Volume 9, Number 4 BEACHWOOD VOICE

Since its inception in 1997, the BeachwoodVoice has counted on neighbors who walkregularly in our beautiful neighborhood todrop off our paper on the porches theypass. The first distribution “team” was onlysix people strong. Today we haveapproximately 35 neighbors who proudlycall themselves “The Beachwood Walkers.”

We celebrated the contributions of thesespecial, tenacious and hearty souls at anevent held in the Reichenbach’s courtyard afew weeks ago. The occasion was markedby toasting, picture-taking, reminiscences,noshing and a raffle. Two neighbors drewthe winning dinners at Off Vine Restaurantand one neighbor gets to have dinner at eaton Sunset! And the hula-hoop goes to—DizMcNally! Kids got prizes, too, and therewas much laughter and love spreadaround.

Our Beachwood Walkers delivery teamis one of the things that set us apart fromstandard community newspaper. Wecontract with a distribution company for

W A L K E R SYou hold in your hands a rare offering to the

Hollywood community. The Beachwood VOICE isthe ONLY free publication that is created and

delivered by neighbors to thousands of homes. Hereare the faithful neighbors who have been deliveringthe Beachwood VOICE since its beginning in 1998.

We couldn’t do this without them!

There are 40 of them! Our Heros!Beachwood Canyon Walkers

George AbrahamsPrudence BairdTony Clark“Chris”ChristiansenTheresa & AJ DannaWilliam EmbodenShelley FeinmanMary GearyNancy GirtenJeffrey GoldsteinAnita GordonMissy KellySoren Kerk

Maurene KornfeldZahrina MachadahLarry MarkesDiz McNallyCasey MetcalfeMorrow FamilyMaryanne & Tom NelsonDavid NelsonFran ReichenbachTyrone RoyWarren SeidViva SullivanNina Van Tassell

Hollywood Dell Walkers

Beachwood Voice Walkers Feted

Christmas begins about the first of Decem

ber with an office party and ends w

hen you finally realize what you spent,around April fifteenth of the next year.—

P. J. O’Rourke

areas outside our canyon, but we’re oldfashioned in our belief that what is placedon your doorstep receives some of itsvalue from the one who does the placing.As a distributor myself, I know the pridethat I feel when placing the paper on thedoorstep or front stoop, placing it “justso,” turning the logo to face the street socars driving by can see that the BeachwoodVoice has arrived. We believe that thearrival of the Beachwood Voice evokes afeeling of community in our BeachwoodCanyon haven—community which hasthe warmth of a small town even thoughwe’re only a few blocks from the country’ssecond largest city.

We have two routes that are now open.They are not long routes but can be a bitup and down. If you love walking andwould like to share in this fun volunteeractivity right here in our own canyon, giveus a call at 323-462-1514 and we’ll giveyou a little training and off you go!

—Fran Reichenbach & Prudence Baird

Cynthia EatonGere FennellyKerry ForbesMadeline FunkTerri GergerJanet HoffmannWendy HorowitzJudy KassKwock Koe

Linda LipsiusTom & Lisa MeredithPatti NegriTiger RosenMerle SingerJurgen StreimerJudy and George SungaJacqui TagerCourtney Watkins

If you help deliver but don’t see your name here,please let us know that. We want to acknowledge

you! 323-462-1514

Christmas withthe ElephantsPhoto by Kurt Reichenbach

Christmas withthe Elephants

HAPPYHOLIDAYS!

HAPPYHOLIDAYS!

The Music Box @ The Fonda / Blue Palms Lounge, Hollywood6126 Hollywood Boulevard • Hollywood, California 90028

Ph: 323-464-0808 • Fx: 323-464-0564

BEACHWOOD VOICE Holiday Edition, 2006 ■ Volume 9, Number 4 Page 35

by Theresa M. Danna, M.P.W.In our diverse city, there are

professionals available to serveyou in every imaginableindustry. So perhaps it is nosurprise that there exists inBeachwood Canyon a cloister ofDominican nuns whose “work”is to pray for you.

The place is Monastery of theAngels, located at 1977 CarmenAvenue, one block north ofFranklin Avenue, between VistaDel Mar and Gower. Theirmission statement:

“As a community, we arecalled by God to witness Hislove, and in adoration andprayer, we seekto sustain theChurch and tointercede formankind. AscontemplativeDominican nuns,we havewithdrawn fromthe world in sucha way as toembraceeveryone in the

heart of Christ. Through our lifeof prayer and study, we bring tofruition God’s living Word inthe world.”

Founded in 1924, Monasteryof the Angels was originallylocated in downtown LosAngeles and had only five nunsin residence. In the 1930s, theylearned of a beautiful mansionfor sale by the Giroux family inHollywood. Though the areawas considered undesirable,the price was right for thefinancially struggling nuns. Thepresent Monastery buildingwas built in front of themansion, where the gardensand lawns had been landscapedwith the most expensive shrubsand trees. A statue of theBlessed Mother would take theplace where the grand fountain

stood. The permanentMonastery was completed intime to celebrate ChristmasMidnight Mass in 1948.

Today, 22 nuns from a varietyof countries call the Monasteryhome. From now through theChristmas season, the gift shopis featuring a holiday boutique.The shop’s hours are 8:30 a.m. to5 p.m., every day except Sunday.

If you are looking to docommunity service, volunteersare needed for operating thegift shop, as well as for drivingthe nuns around town whennecessary, according to SisterMary Pia, the Monastery’sdirector.

There are regularopportunities for the public tojoin in prayer groups andworship services. There is a dailyMass at 7 a.m. and all-nightvigils on the first Friday of eachmonth. For a schedule of prayergroup meetings, either call(323)466-2186 or visit theMonastery’s Web site at www.op-stjoseph.org/nuns/angels/index.htm.

—This article is anabbreviated version of the 2002

article written by Theresa M.Danna. Theresa has a master’s

degree in professional writingfrom University of Southern

California. She highlyrecommends the nuns’ pumpkin

bread (which is more like cakethan bread) for holiday desserts.

Monastery of theAngels: Canyon’sPrayerful Pocket

Page 36 Holiday Edition, 2006 ■ Volume 9, Number 4 BEACHWOOD VOICE

Off Vine

Join us for the holidays!Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve

6263 Leland Way, Hollywood, CA 90029(One block south of Sunset, just east of Vine)

www.offvine.com(323) 962-1900

celebrating our 17th year

The courtyard at Hollywood & Highland CenterPhoto by Kurt ReichenbachThe courtyard at Hollywood & Highland CenterPhoto by Kurt Reichenbach

KURT REICHENBACHLIVE AT TThhee GGaarrddeenniiaa

Monday, January 29, 2007 ■ 9 p.m.Biff Hannon, piano

$10 cover, two-drink minimum.Come for dinner from 7 p.m. ■ No drink minimum with dinner.

Plenty of street parking!Call 323.467.7444 for reservations.

The Gardenia Restaurant & Lounge 7066 Santa Monica Blvd.,West Hollywood, CA 90038

“Dazzling new jazz singer!”—Rex Reed

KURT REICHENBACHLIVE AT TThhee GGaarrddeenniiaa

Monday, January 29, 2007 ■ 9 p.m.Biff Hannon, piano

“. . . one of the mostdynamic vocal debuts of the pastdecade. . .Kurt’s gotthe chops. . .spread the word.”“. . .a truly impressive newguy. . . one who can standshoulder to shoulder withthe likes of Kurt Elling,John Pizzarelliand Curtis Stigers. . .”—Christopher Loudon,National jazz columnist