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IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT Appreciative Advising & Nonverbal Communication

IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

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Page 1: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT

Appreciative Advising & Nonverbal Communication

Page 2: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

ARIN ELY,Supervisor of Enrollment and Academic Advising

Hello. Thanks for joining us this morning.

JOYA KONIECZNY, Supervisor of

Undergraduate Academic Advising

Page 3: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

Now it’s your turn.

Page 4: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples

What to expect:

Page 5: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

PERCEPTIONS: WHAT DO YOU SEE?

Page 6: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

PERCEPTIONS: WHAT DO YOU SEE?

Page 7: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

PERCEPTIONS: WHAT DO YOU SEE?

Page 8: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

Spoken Word7%

Voice38%

Body Language

55%

Page 9: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

Nonverbal Communication

Page 10: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

Nonverbal Communication

Appearance & Adornment

Use of Space (Proxemics)

Touch (Haptics)

Eye Contact & Facial

Expressions

Vocalics

Body Language (Kinesics)

Environment & Artifacts

Use of Time (Chronemics)

Page 11: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

Nonverbal Communication

Appearance & Adornment

Use of Space (Proxemics)

Touch (Haptics)

Eye Contact & Facial

Expressions

Vocalics

Body Language (Kinesics)

Environment & Artifacts

Use of Time (Chronemics)

Page 12: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

Nonverbal Communication

Appearance & Adornment

Use of Space (Proxemics)

Touch (Haptics)

Eye Contact & Facial

Expressions

Vocalics

Body Language (Kinesics)

Environment & Artifacts

Use of Time (Chronemics)

Page 13: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

Nonverbal Communication

Appearance & Adornment

Use of Space (Proxemics)

Touch (Haptics)

Eye Contact & Facial

Expressions

Vocalics

Body Language (Kinesics)

Environment & Artifacts

Use of Time (Chronemics)

Page 14: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

Nonverbal Communication

Appearance & Adornment

Use of Space (Proxemics)

Touch (Haptics)

Eye Contact & Facial

Expressions

Vocalics

Body Language (Kinesics)

Environment & Artifacts

Use of Time (Chronemics)

Page 15: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

Nonverbal Communication

Appearance & Adornment

Use of Space (Proxemics)

Touch (Haptics)

Eye Contact & Facial

Expressions

Vocalics

Body Language (Kinesics)

Environment & Artifacts

Use of Time (Chronemics)

Page 16: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

Nonverbal Communication

Appearance & Adornment

Use of Space (Proxemics)

Touch (Haptics)

Eye Contact & Facial

Expressions

Vocalics

Body Language (Kinesics)

Environment & Artifacts

Use of Time (Chronemics)

Page 17: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

Nonverbal Communication

Appearance & Adornment

Use of Space (Proxemics)

Touch (Haptics)

Eye Contact & Facial

Expressions

Vocalics

Body Language (Kinesics)

Environment & Artifacts

Use of Time (Chronemics)

Page 18: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

Nonverbal Communication

Appearance & Adornment

Use of Space (Proxemics)

Touch (Haptics)

Eye Contact & Facial

Expressions

Vocalics

Body Language (Kinesics)

Environment & Artifacts

Use of Time (Chronemics)

Page 19: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

Nonverbal Communication

Appearance & Adornment

Use of Space (Proxemics)

Touch (Haptics)

Eye Contact & Facial

Expressions

Vocalics

Body Language (Kinesics)

Environment & Artifacts

Use of Time (Chronemics)

Word Choice & Language Devices

Page 20: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

MIRROR ACTIVITY

Page 21: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

SOCIAL CONSTRUCTIVISM

People working together to construct meaning Filters we choose to place over our realities When information comes into contact with

existing knowledge / experiences

Appreciative Advising (AA) is a social-constructivist advising philosophy

Page 22: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

APPRECIATIVE ADVISING: 6 PHASES

Page 23: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

1DISARM

Page 24: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

DISARM

Chronemics (are you on time for the appointment?)

Proxemics (do you stand at the doorway or go up to the student to greet them?)

Page 25: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

DISARM

Appearance & Adornment (what you’re wearing says a lot about you)

“Who you are speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you’re saying.”

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Page 26: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

DISARM

Appearance & Adornment

Attention Advisors:Your boss

notices how you dress too!

Page 27: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

DISARM Facial Expressions & Eye Contact Kinesics (body language) Haptics (handshake)

Page 28: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

DISARM

Don’t forget to pay attention to the student’s nonverbal cues from the moment you greet them

Page 29: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

DISARM

Environment & Artifacts (what does your office say about you?)

Page 30: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

DISARM

Environment & Artifacts (what does your office say about you?)

Page 31: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

2 & 3DISCOVER & DREAM

Page 32: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

DISCOVER & DREAM

Word Choice (open-ended questions)

How are you? Tell me about your day

Do you have any questions?

What questions do you have?

Have I answered all of your questions?

What else can I help with today?

Page 33: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

Proactive vs. Reactive

DISCOVER & DREAM

Vocalics (tone, pitch, volume, etc.)

“There’s nothing we can do”

“I can’t”

“I must”

“If only”

“Let’s look at our alternatives”

“I choose”

“I prefer”

“I will”

Adapted from Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People program

Page 34: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

DISCOVER & DREAM

Kinesics & Facial Expressions (your body language should “match” your message)

Proxemics (face student, distance between you)

Page 35: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

DISCOVER & DREAM

Kinesics & Facial Expressions (your body language should “match” your message)

Proxemics (face student, distance between you)

Page 36: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

DISCOVER & DREAM

Eye Contact

Page 37: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

4DESIGN

Page 38: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

DESIGN Environment & Artifacts (hands-on) Engage students with resources / tools

Page 39: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

DESIGN Kinesics & Facial Expressions

Don’t get swept up in what you’re doing

and forget about your expressions,

reactions, etc.

ANGER FEAR DISGUST

SADNESSHAPPINESSSUPRISE

Page 40: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

5DELIVER

Page 41: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

DELIVER

How you say it: language devices

Page 42: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

DELIVER

How you say it: language devices

Page 43: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

DELIVER

How you say it: language devices

Page 44: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

DELIVER

End on a positive note Follow-up after the appointment

Page 45: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

6DON’T SETTLE

Page 46: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

DON’T SETTLE Keep your cool

You did WHAT!‽!

Page 47: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

DON’T SETTLE

Pay attention – is he/she not telling you something?

Page 48: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

DON’T SETTLE

Don’t give up in tough situations

Page 49: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

DON’T SETTLE

Go above and beyond

“There are no shortcuts to anyplace worth going.”

- Beverly Sills

“There are no shortcuts to anyplace worth going.”

- Beverly Sills

Page 50: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

TAKE WHAT YOU LEARNED, AND PUT IT INTO ACTION

Page 51: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

We hope you enjoyed our presentation.

Page 52: IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT · I. Overview of Nonverbal Communication II. Advising Theory III. Implementation & Examples What to expect:

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