January 2013

CLUBHOUSE HOURSMon. - Thurs. 7:30 am - 7:30 pmFriday 7:30 am - 5:00 pmSaturday 9:00 am - 5:00 pmSunday Noon - 5:00 pmPhone: 410-208-4994Fax: 410-208-4996Email: club@parkehappenings.comWebsite: www.parkehappenings.com

It’s More Than a Community. It’s a Lifestyle.

Mark Your CalendarCommittee Meetings

INSIDE THIS ISSUE

Parke Happenings .....................................p. 2General Manager’s Desk ............................p. 6 Committee Reports ....................................p. 6Red Hats ..................................................p. 9Recipe Corner ........................................... p. 10Your PC .................................................... p. 12On The Lighter Side ................................. p. 13Outside The Parke .................................... p. 14Tax Tips ................................................... p. 18

Ever see the Parke Bench in color at www.parkehappenings.com? WOW!

President’s Corner

Budget & Finance January 7 9:30am Covenants January 8 9:00amOperations January 8 1:30pmPrograms January 9 10:00am Communications January 9 1:00pmBoard of Directors January 23 9:30am Design Review January 30 9:00am

I would like to take this opportu-nity to wish every resident in The Parke a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year. It is always a pleasure to hear posi-tive communication from residents. Several residents have commented on the “look” of The Parke after the last leaf removal. Thank you for the positive feedback. I also want to provide positive feedback for homeowners who re-ceived a letter about cleaning the siding of their homes and then completed this cleaning in a timely manner. It does make a difference. Thank you for doing your part in community maintenance! I would also like to thank all of the community members who have volunteered to be on Parke commit-tees. The New Year should hold new challenges and op-portunities for this community to make positive improvements moving forward. Following is a preview of some of the events and happen-ings to look forward to in the New Year. In 2013 residents should look for the opportunity to throw their hat in the ring to run for the board of directors of The Parke. Important in-formation should be coming out in the early part of the New

Year. Please consider being involved with the governance of The Parke. The board also approved a new position for an assistant community manager in the 2013 budget. The assistant com-munity manager will work with our general manager on finan-cial aspects of The Parke, assist with committee work, provide resident assistance, and work with the current staff on a wide variety of projects. There will be continued research and information on the conversion from LP gas to natural gas. Pertinent information will be provided in local newspapers, a community Java hour, and in the Parke Bench as soon as it becomes available. The grand hall is going to undergo renovations. New win-dow treatments, new art work, lower and larger fans, and a new big screen television are some of the upgrades. Look for these improvements in the New Year. The elections will also bring about a vote on revised, up-dated bylaws. Please look for several forthcoming articles about these bylaws. The Parke has several other changes in policies that are being investigated, refined, and updated by committees at the present time. A pet policy, collections poli-cy, trash containers, and Design Review Committee guidelines are a few of the policies that are being discussed and recom-mended by various committees. The board will act on these

Continued on Page 4

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Parke Happenings

News for The Parke Bench should be sent to the Editor: rickrodgers@mchsi.com by the 15th of the month.

The Parke Bench is published monthly byThe Homeowners Association of

The Parke at Ocean PinesPresident, Fred HusmanVice President, Dale BuleySecretary, Vicki McCormickMember-at-Large, Tom WeberMember-at-Large, Gary KuntzTreasurer, Paul MentzChair-Communications Advisory Committee, Bob Bradford

STAFFRick Rodgers, Editor (rickrodgers@mchsi.com)Joyce Piatti, Recipe Corner (japiatti@aol.com)Nate Boring, Outside The Parke (notboring@live.com)Gene Edge, Your PC (geneedge@verizon.net)Joan Kessler, Advertising Rep (jobekess@verizon.net)Abby Elliott, General Manager (gm@parkehappenings.com)

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Scrapbooking Scrapbooking will be held on Wednesdays, January 9 and January 23, from 6:45-8:45pm. Newcomers are always welcome. A special all-day event, “Photo Solutions,” will be held on Saturday, January 19, from 10-4pm in the Grand Hall. A signup sheet will be provided. Questions can be referred to Lenora Urie at marylenora@aol.com.

Wine Appreciation Group The Wine Appreciation Group was formed in 2006 and enjoys wine tastings on the 3rd Sunday of every month from 2:30-4:30pm at the Clubhouse. The group’s next gathering is scheduled for Sunday, January 20, at 2:30pm. Hosts Ed and Judy Thost ask that members bring a snack to share and a sparkling wine. If you would like to join us or have questions, contact Ed Thost on 410-208-1169 or Harold Fingerhut on 410-208-6262.

Memoir Workshop Resumes Meeting The Memoir Workshop will resume meeting on Tuesday, January 22, at 10am in the card room. This group is open to anyone who loves to write, especially about your life, your past, or your family history. Participants share their writings with the group and critique each other’s submissions. They also read and discuss autobiographical accounts by published authors. Some also explore their genealogy from time to time. If you would like to join us and have questions, please call Jean Fry at 410-208-4269.

The Parke Book Club The Parke Book Club usually meets the fourth Thursday of each month from 2-4pm in the Clubhouse. The Club will resume their meetings on January 24 with a discussion of Loving Frank by Nancy Horan. The re-maining schedule includes: February - The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein, March - Unbroken by Laura Hil-debrand, April - Talk Before Sleep by Elizabeth Berg, bo-nus book: The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender, May - Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet by Jamie Ford, June - Never Change by Elizabeth Berg, and July - The Paris Wife by Paula McLain.

The Adopt-A-Family Thanks to all who participated in the Adopt-A-Family program this year; it was a success. There were 19 families whose names we received from Worces-ter County G.O.L.D. All tags that were on our beautiful tree in the library weretaken. There were two senior families from Snow Hill; the caseworkers came here to pick up those packages. The Parke Santa’s included Mary Stevens, Peg and John Robinson, Rich and Elaine Faller, Jeri and Jack Scott, Kathy Price, and Robin Roth. They delivered all the packages to the families on Tuesday, December 18. It makes us feel good to be able to deliver these packages to the needy families. We hope we can continue with this tradition. Have a happy and healthy New Year.

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December in The Parke By Dale Buley What a difference a year makes!! Thank you to Pat Addy and her co-chair, Peg Robinson. The holiday decorations in The Parke this year are, simply stated, SPECTACULAR!! Pat and her committee of 18 (recruited spouses, volunteers, and Clubhouse staff), some of whom are shown in the picture below, have worked very hard to bring us a true WINTER WONDERLAND. Special thanks go to the Moore Companies for the donation and installation of a live Christmas tree in the Central Parke gazebo. Thanks also to Bob Thompson, general manager of Ocean Pines, and Clint Parks of the Department of Public Works for installing the Christmas tree in the Club-house Media Center. On behalf of the Board of Directors and a grateful Parke community, again, a great big thank you to all involved in making The Parke “not just a community, but a lifestyle.”

It’s Time to Update the Parke Lending List Be an angel and assist us in updating the Parke Lending List. The “Lending List” was created by Parke residents for Parke residents. Do you have company coming? Need to borrow something for a few days? Are you having surgery? The residents on this list are willing to lend for occasional use without cost such items as a child’s bike, cribs, high chairs, wheelchairs, walkers, canes, bath/shower seats, coolers, pow-er washers, crab pots, life jackets, and more. Vince Brocato (410-208-3337) and Diane McGraw (410-208-2569) are up-dating this list of items. If you have items to lend, please pick up a Lending List form from the Mail Pavilion, complete it, and give it to Vince or Diane no later than February 28.

Death of Gary Kuntz It is with great sorrow that we announce the sudden pass-ing of Gary Kuntz, a member of the Parke Board of Directors. He will be remembered for his insight, his thoughtfulness, and his willingness to give to the community. On behalf of the community, we offer his wife Sue and family our deepest sym-pathy.

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policies in the New Year. Please look for future updates on these and other projects and challenges for the 2013 New Year in The Parke. The Nominations Committee will be starting their work in January. If you are interested in being a part of this important committee, please contact Harold Fingerhut. You may also inform the front desk of your interest. The first meeting will take place in the middle of January. Thanks for your interest in being a part of the committee.

President’s Message Continued From Page 1

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Worcester County Women – Reserve this date The annual awards recognition luncheon to recognize and celebrate Worcester County women’s achievements is planned for Wednesday, March 27, at 11am at the Clarion Hotel in Ocean City. The 2013 theme is “Women Inspiring Innovation through Imagination: Celebrating Women in Science, Tech-nology, Engineering and Mathematics.” There will be raffles, silent auctions, exhibitors, opportunities to network, and a keynote speaker. This event is sponsored by the Worcester County Commission for Women. For info, contact Diane Mc-Graw, 410-208-2569.

Good Days for Ducks By Jean and Larry Fry

Here’s just a reminder that the months of January through March are good times to view waterfowl other than our year-round Canada Geese, Mallards, and domestics. Here are some good spots to explore: 1. Hidden Lake located here in The Parke. This is a good spot for Hooded Mergansers, Ring-necked Ducks, and American Black Ducks. 2. South Gate Pond. Look for Hooded Mergansers, Ring-necked Ducks, Redheads, American Coots, Ruddy Ducks, and Canvasbacks. The Canvasbacks tend to like the area by the Sports Core Pool and will be here sporadically in the winter. 3. West Ocean City Pond located on Golf Course Road. Look for Northern Shovelers, Hooded Mergansers, Pintails, American Wigeon, Green-winged Teal, Bufflehead, Gadwall, American Black Ducks, Ruddy Ducks, Canvasbacks, and occasionally Tundra Swans and Wood Ducks.4. Bayside Development on the left on Route 611. Here you can watch from your car as you circle the pond. Look for American Wigeon, Gadwall, Redhead, Northern Shoveler, Lesser Scaup, Pied-billed Grebe, Bufflehead, Ruddy Ducks, and Green-winged Teal. 5. Ocean City Inlet. Look for Common Loon, Red-throated Loon, Harlequin Ducks, Common Eider, Surf Scoter, Black Scoter, Razorbill, Long-tailed Duck, Horned Grebe, and Red-breasted Merganser. Check the rocks for Purple Sandpipers and Ruddy Turnstones. Occasionally there is even a Harbor Seal all the way back behind the red brick motel. Look up at the water tower for Peregrine Falcon too. 6. Isle of Wight Park located off Route 90. Here there are long distance views over the water of Bufflehead, Common Loon, Red-throated Loon, an occasional Goldeneye, and Red-breasted Mergansers.

Dress warmly, take binoculars and a bird book, and view some of the beauty in nature. You may be surprised at what you see, you may learn to identify some new creatures, you may breathe lots of fresh air, and you may just get hooked on a new hobby. Most of the birds listed here are gone by the end of March. Only a very few linger into April and May when it is warmer. So to see them, you have to brave the cold. If you have questions, call the Frys at 410-208-4269.

A diplomat is a person who thinkstwice before saying nothing.

5

Republican Women ofWorcester County The Republican Women of Worcester County announce their January general meeting and luncheon on Thursday, January 24, at the Atlantic Hotel in Berlin, 2 N. Main Street. The speaker will be Bill Badger, Director, Department of Eco-nomic Development in Worcester County, and will bring us up-to-date on the ins and outs of what is going and coming in Worcester County. Doors open at 10:30am, the meeting starts at 11am, and lunch will be served at 12noon. The speaker will begin at approximately 12:30am. Please make checks pay-able to “RWWC.” The deadline will be January 22. Contact Bev Bigler for details at 410-208-6018 or cwcandlewood@mchsi.com.

Invitation to Join the Women’s Club of Ocean Pines The Women’s Club membership dues are $5 per year. Join us on the first Thursday of the month for speak-ers, luncheons, auctions, raffles, and fundraisers. In May our organization gives back to the community with awarding scholarships to high school seniors and donations to organiza-tions that support Ocean Pines residents. There is no meeting in January, but save the date of Thursday, February 7, at 10am in the Assateague Room of the Ocean Pines Community Center for discussions of the proposed budget, dues, and organizational concepts. For in-formation, contact Pat Addy on 410-208-0171.

Welcome Committee:Another House Sold! By Diane McGraw Re-sales in The Parke reachednew levels with 23 homes sold in 2012. Let’s welcome: * Charles and Beverly Ammann to their new home at 2 Fort Sumter South. The Ammanns have moved from Williamsburg, VA. We are glad you are here to experience the best of our community and the lifestyle that you deserve.

The Still Rockin’ band, composed of mostly Parke residents, donated their time to perform holiday shows at three senior living facilities. This photo is from their performance at Gull Creek in Berlin. Appearing in this photo are, L to R: Jim Angstadt, Mike Dailey, Barbara Stevenson, Mike Stevenson, Gene Edge, and Bernie Kessler. Not shown here are Dottie Ruth, Tony K and Char V.

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Committee ReportsPrograms Advisory Committee By Lenora Urie, Chair

Abby

From the General Manager’s Desk:

As I end my time as chairman of the Programs Advisory Committee, there are several people who deserve mention and thanks. First, I would like to thank Abby and the members of the Board who served as liaison to our committee for their support and encouragement.

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The Parke’s website, www.parkehappenings.com, now has the newsletter in COLOR! Did you know that you could look up a neighbor’s phone number on the website? Did you know that you could chat with another resident on the Forum? What, you don’t have a com-puter? That’s okay – come up and use the computers in the Library. You don’t know how to access or sign into the “Resident Only” section? Call The Parke webmaster, Mekia Washington, and she’ll get you started! The Emergency Notification Email system – this advises residents of condolences, weather emergencies and any other MUST-KNOW information deemed by the Board of Directors – if you don’t authorize The Parke to send you an email (providing an email address), you won’t receive anything. If you would like to learn more about The Parke website, contact the webmaster and we’ll ensure that you know how to surf the website! You don’t need a bathing suit, or a surfboard, just a computer keyboard and a little patience!

I would like to thank the committee members who served; in particular, Donna Potenza who provided secretarial support and Judy Tangredi who served as treasurer. Other members of the committee include Nancy Jarvis, Nancy Norris, Sylvia Marsden, Susann Palamara, Cookie Walker, and Carol Vales. These women brought their ideas and enthusiasm to each meeting, and supported us in whatever the activity or event of the month was. They came early to set up and stayed late to clean up; in many cases, they elicited the assistance of their husbands to stack up chairs and to do “a final sweep” to the Grand Hall. Special mention and thanks to Peg Robinson who worked countless hours behind the scenes, researching caterers and possible event venues, printing nametags, purchasing paper goods and snacks, as well as designing signup sheets and post-ers for our activities. I would also like to thank the former members of the Par-ko team, which include Pat Addy, Lin Dugan, Donna Seigel, Chris Dailey, and Eddie Tewell. Honorable mention goes to Jeri and Jack Scott who planned and executed all of our outdoor activities, and who stepped forward six weeks ago to lead the Penguin Swim proj-ect. Thanks also go to Mekia for her efforts with the swim planning. The December in the Parke subcommittee, headed by Pat Addy and Peg Robinson, deserves special mention as well. They gathered 18 willing and talented individuals to bring festive beauty to our community. The Parke never looked so good! This group will have a follow-up meeting on January 14 at 1pm.

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Operations Advisory Committee By Victor Burke, Chair

Communications Advisory Committee By Bob Bradford, Chair

Design and Review Committee By Pam O’Dowd, Chair

The Communications Advisory Com-mittee is looking to start a training program for basic features of the Parkehappenings website. As Parke residents, have you regis-tered at the Clubhouse with your login name and password to view features behind theParkehappenings firewall. Features behind the Parkehappen-ings firewall include the resident directory and forum to post problems or other questions that you may have in maintaining your home. Our February 1 Java Hour will be a talk by Ms. Anita Battista, president of Nurse Professionals Home Care and Staffing, LLC. She will speak on having a home safety check-list, medication management, and fall prevention. We are looking for experienced Parke residents to record Java Hours and then possibly post the video on You Tube or other media. If interested, please contact me or any committee member.

activities. Let me begin with an introduction. My wife Ginger and I have owned our home in The Parke since September 2011. I retired in 2010 from a career in information technol-ogy, and Ginger retired in 2011 having worked as a budget and finance analyst. I served on the 2012 Operations Advisory Committee under the leadership of Vito Potenza, who did an excellent job leading our committee and advising the Board and general manager on numerous projects. I hope to carry on in his footsteps. I am joined on the Operations Advisory Committee by a team of our neighbors who have volunteered to serve the com-munity. Returning members include John McCool, Joe Green, Joe Giacoponella, Vito Potenza, and Gerri Dietrich. I also want to extend a warm welcome to new members Bill Regina and Lois West. Dominic Tangredi will be our alternate mem-ber, and Dale Buley will be our Board liaison. Together we will work to build on the efforts of past Operations Advisory Committees to maintain and improve our community and its facilities. The responsibilities of the Advisory Committee are to advise and assist the Board and support the general man-ager in matters related to Parke facilities, with special em-phasis on preventive maintenance, energy conservation, and upgrading common areas as the need arises. To fulfill these

responsibilities, we will need input from our neighbors to help us identify areas that may need attention, explore solutions, identify the costs, and prioritize projects. The advice we pro-vide the Board and the support we provide to the general man-ager will be greatly enhanced by thoughtful resident input. I am confident that I speak for all Operations Advisory Commit-tee members when I say that we look forward to working with and for our neighbors to maintain The Parke’s facilities to the highest possible standards. Our first meeting of the new year will be at 1:30 on Tues-day, January 8, in the Grand Hall. All residents are welcome to attend. An agenda for the meeting will be posted in the Mail Pavilion and at the Clubhouse before the meeting. Please feel free to contact me throughout the year with your ques-tions, comments, and concerns. I can be reached via email at rotciv08@gmail.com or by phone at 410-973-1151.

This will be my last article for the Bench as my temporary fill-in position as chairman of the DRC ends on December 31. Judy Chuvala will take over, and I am very confident that she will be an excellent chairperson. As I write this in mid-December, The Parke is starting to look very festive with all the holiday lights and decorations on our homes and on Parke property. The BOD approved four of our new proposals and adden-dums, with only a few additions and changes in verbiage to be made. A new proposal, regarding “new siding,” will also be presented to the BOD and hopefully it will also be approved. The next step is then for all these new guidelines to be posted, for 30 days, in order to obtain resident input. After the 30 days, if there are no changes to be made, they will be sent to Snow Hill to be incorporated into our present guidelines. I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season, and I wish all the best for the New Year to you all. Don’t forget, our meetings are always open to all. Our next meeting will be on January 30 at 9am.

Committee Reports Continued on Page 8

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Covenants Committee By Tom Urie, Chair

It’s the end of the year, and the end of my term as chair-person of the Covenants Committee. It’s been a fairly quiet year in the neighborhood with wind chimes, illegally parked commercial vehicles, and tree roots the only problems we had to deal with. We were busy, however, working on several of our governing documents starting with reviewing and recom-mending changes to the Community Bylaws. We are now in the process of recommending changes to the Community Codes regarding trash containers used for curbside pickup, and two new resolutions proposed by our legal team: Due Process Hearing/Fine Schedule and Rules and Regulations Regarding Pets. I would like to thank the members of the committee: Harold Fingerhut, Pat Gates, Margaret Giacoponello, Mike Hampe, and Eddie Tewell, for their hard work and dedication over the past year and to welcome Margaret Giacoponello as the new chairperson for the coming year. I would also like to wish everyone a happy holiday season and a healthful and happy New Year.

Committee Reports Continued From Page 7

thanks

twowomengotoswimearlyeverymorningothersgotolettheminevenearlierinthemorning

thankscsr’sandstaff chriswalls&janehill

To My Friends in The Parke: Your support is helping me cope with the passing of my wife, Lorayne. While the pain of the loss of a loved one can at times be overwhelming, the compassion of friends eases the burden. Thank you, Paul Whitson

We wish to express our deepest gratitude to our many friends and acquaintances in The Parke who have sent cards or expressed their sympathy over the recent loss of our youngest son Tom. Somewhat belat-edly, we also thank you for the many get-well cards received over Don’s recent illness and surgeries.

“Gratitude is one of the least articulate of the emo-tions, especially when it is deep.” Felix Frankfurter (1882-1965), American Supreme Court Justice

The Parke is truly a unique place. Where else is there such a high density of kind and caring people?

Carol and Don Wilson

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Red Hats ActivitiesRed cHatters

The Red cHatters enjoyed a holiday tea at Poplar Hill Mansion in December. A docent there discussed the his-tory of the mansion and then we were treated to a tour through Salisbury’s oldest home.

In November the Red cHatters donned their very finest black attire to celebrate Black Friday with a luncheon at The Shark restaurant. Those who wished then went shopping.

Crimson Parkettes

The Scarlett O’Hatters held a holiday dinner and gift exchange at the home of Joan and Bob Strauss. Henrietta Condron, Queen, poses with Joan Strauss and Janis George, hostesses for the event.

Red Hattitudes

Fifteen of our group got together to celebrate the holidays at Joyce Piatti’s home. There are only 14 in the photo be-cause our Queen, Joan Kessler, was taking the picture! Everyone brought great homemade yummy food, and we had a wonderful evening eating, drinking, laughing, and enjoying the camaraderie and friendships.

Scarlett O’Hatters

The Crimson Parkettes enjoyed a wonderful holiday party at Donna McCracken’s house on Tuesday, December 18. Our Mum dressed up as an elf. We had wonderful food prepared by Donna, and then we had a gift exchange. A fun time was had by all as can be seen below.

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Recipe CornerBy Joyce Piatti japiatti@aol.com

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#2. I am submitting a recommendation for a carpenter, Max Blackowicz. He has just finished several repairs to doors in our home as well as installed a pull-down stairway to our attic. The work was completed as was proposed and the cost was very reasonable. He has built additions to houses and done other jobs in the Pines and The Parke. The name of his company tells the story: Max’s Quality Home Improvements, MHRC LIC#83187, 410-213-7024 Thank you, Lora Delaney, 44 Chatham Court, 410-213-4431

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Use a disposable email address A person can’t spend much time on the Web without en-countering a site that can’t be used unless you register by providing an email address. Supplying your everyday email address to each Web service that solicits one is just asking for spam. If there’s little chance you’ll need to receive a corre-spondence from the service (once you’ve confirmed your reg-istration, of course) enter an email address you created with no intention of checking it for incoming messages. I have used a Yahoo email address for this purpose for years. If you receive an email you wish to keep, forward the message from the throwaway address to your regular email address.

Be prepared for a computer emergency Everybody knows you should use antivirus software and a firewall. You should also have a current backup of all your important files and a recent image copy of your hard drive.

View email as plain text All the big-name Web mail services require by default that you manually allow images to display in the messages you receive from senders you haven’t designated beforehand as trustworthy. Blocking images in messages you receive from unknown senders reduces the chances that an email-borne vi-rus is activated simply by viewing its host message.

Due to the speed that issues and problems arise on the in-ternet, I am starting a separate, email newsletter for anyone interested. These emails will be sent to you on the occasions when an important issue arises that will be outdated by the time the next Parke Bench is published. I don’t expect to send more than one or two emails per month. If you want to receive these emails, send an email to me and I will add you to my distribution list.

Lock your phone, please! Smartphone thefts are rising faster than the unemployment rate. One reason high-end cell phones are targeted by thieves is how easy it is to resell the devices. If you haven’t locked your phone and added a free remote data-wipe app, the thief could also use or sell the private information you stored on the phone. Stolen cell phones will be even less valuable once the ma-jor cell services start blocking reactivation of the devices via the stolen-phone registry promised for the second half of 2013. All the major carriers have their own stolen-phone registry, so be sure to report your pilfered phone and remotely wipe its data as quickly as possible. The identity you save may be your own.

Take advantage of automatic software updates Computer-security experts recommend that you download and install Windows updates automatically. Over 90% of the updates are security patches to make Windows more secure. To be sure your PC is set up to do this: go to “Start,” “Con-trol Panel,” “Windows update,” (in XP, “Automatic Update”), and press Enter. Click “Change settings” in the left pane and make sure “Install updates automatically, and “every day” is selected.

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13

Twas the Month After ChristmasTwas the month after Christmas, and all through the houseNothing would fit me, not even a blouse.The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d tasteAt the holiday parties had gone to my waist. When I got on the scales there arose such a number! When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber),I’d remember the marvelous meals I’d prepared;The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared, The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheeseAnd the way I’d never said, “No thank you, please.” As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirtAnd prepared once again to do battle with dirt.I said to myself, as I only can“You can’t spend a winter disguised as a man!”So - away with the last of the sour cream dip, Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chipEvery last bit of food that I like must be banishedTill all the additional ounces have vanished.I won’t have a cookie, not even a lick.I’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick. I won’t have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore.But isn’t that what January is for? Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

(Contributed by Diane McGraw.)

On The Lighter SideQuestions That Haunt Me!

Why do you have to “put your two cents in”... but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going to?

Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.

Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemi-sphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your butt? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Three old guys are out walking. First one says, “Windy, isn’t it?” Second one says, “No, it’s Thursday!”Third one says, “So am I. Let’s go get a beer.”

14

Outside The Parke By Nate Boring notboring@live.com

Saturday and Sunday, January 19 and 20 – Nautical & Wildlife Art Festival 2013 and the North American Craft Show at the Convention Center. 10am to 5pm Saturday and 10 to 4 Sunday. The Shore’s premier presentation of nauti-cal & wildlife artists in residence. Noted painters, sculptors, model shipbuilders & multimedia artists highlight this annual show. Variety of quality, juried arts & crafters exhibiting their products for sale. Admission. www.donaldsduckshoppe.com

Friday and Saturday, February 1 and 2 – Monster Trucks Winter Nationals. Bigfoot (surely everyone knows what Bigfoot is??!!) and the nation’s top monster trucks will drive into the Wicomico Youth & Civic Center on Friday, Febru-ary 1, and Saturday, February 2, for three performances start-ing Friday at 7:30pm and continuing on Saturday at 2pm and 7:30pm. This year’s Monster Truck Winter Nationals of-fers something for everyone with larger-than-life thrills and stunts. Go online at www.wicomicociviccenter.org for ticket information.

Friday through Sunday, February 15 to 17 – 30th Annual Seaside Boat Show 2013 at the Convention Center. The Boat Show that works for kids. This is the #1 indoor boat show on the Eastern Shore, featuring approximately 350 boats and over 140 exhibitors, including 50 boat dealers. Admission: adults $9, children $4. Friday 11am – 7pm, Saturday 10am – 7pm, Sunday 11am – 5pm. For more information, visit www.ocboatshow.com.

Another event that’s always a lot of fun is “Death by Chocolate” featuring West Ocean City merchants. I don’t have a date yet, but it is typically a Sunday in mid-February. More on this next month.

(This is being written prior to the date of the Mayan Apoc-alypse. If you are reading the column now, the event was ap-parently canceled, but I will notify you if and when it is re-scheduled.)

January is most notable for its cold weather and football. With any luck we will avoid the former, but the latter is inescapable. January 7 features the college National Championship game between Alabama and Notre Dame. The NFL playoffs commence on January 5 with Wild Card Week-end, leading to the conference championship games on the 20th, and the Super Bowl on February 3. Best of luck to all of your favorite teams.

Tuesday, January 1 – The 19th Annual Penguin Swim. Celebrate New Year’s Day by “getting wet for a good cause.” Everyone looks forward to this annual dip into the chilly Atlantic Ocean to benefit local hospital Atlantic General. The “swim” is at 1pm. www.penguinswim.atlanticgeneral.org (If you’re really into plunging into frigid water, the Maryland State Police Polar Bear Plunge is on January 26 at Sandy Point Park.)

Tuesday, January 8 – Disney’s “Beauty and the Beast” Broadway show at the Wicomico Civic Center. Disney’s smash hit Broadway musical is coming to Salisbury! Based on the Academy Award-winning animated feature film, this eye-popping spectacle has won the hearts of over 35 million people worldwide. This classic musical love story is filled with unforgettable characters, lavish sets and costumes, and dazzling production numbers including “Be Our Guest” and the beloved title song. Showtime is 7:30. Go to www.wicomi-cociviccenter.org for more info. Other Broadway shows com-ing to the Civic Center include Monty Python’s “Spamalot,” “Elvis Lives,” and “Dreamgirls.”

15

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16

Trivia Quiz: Hail to the Chief Since the official inauguration date falls on a Sunday this year, the presidential inauguration is on January 21. Test how much you know about the presidency with this fun trivia quiz!

1. Who was the first president to be inaugurated on January 20?2. Who was the first president to travel by car to and from the inaugural ceremony?3. At his inauguration, Teddy Roosevelt wore a ring with a strand of which former president’s hair?4. Where was George Washington inaugurated?5. Which president was the first to have his inauguration televised?6. Which chief justice of the Supreme Court administered the oath the most times?7. Who was the oldest president at his inauguration?8. Martin Van Buren rode to his inauguration in a carriage constructed from the timbers of what famous ship?9. Which president was inaugurated on an airplane?10. When is the vice president sworn in?

1. Franklin D. Roosevelt. 2. Warren Harding.3. Abraham Lincoln. 4. New York City. 5. Harry Truman.

6. Chief Justice John Marshall.7. Ronald Reagan at 69 years of age.

8. U.S.S. Constitution. 9. Lyndon Johnson.10. Immediately before the president.

Internet Tidbit If you have a problem, FixYa.com has the solution. FixYa is a troubleshooting community of people who can help you solve your product problems. If you need help and ideas to fix your electronics, appliances, car, and more, FixYa can connect you to someone who has the answer. Over 20 million people visit the website each month. You can search for an answer to a problem or ask a question. Either way, the assistance you re-ceive is free. This is a great help when you find that customer service for your product is lacking.

Trivia Quiz Answers

What you don’t do is always more important than what you do do.

The secret to a rich life is to have more beginnings than endings.

- Dave Weinbaum

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17

De N

ovo:

to co

me again...

11310 Manklin Creek Road • South GateOcean Pines, Maryland

Phone: 410-208-2782Check our website for daily specials:

www.denovos.com

Specialty Sandwiches•Entrees• NY Style PizzaHomemade Soups • Salads

Welcome SERVINGBREAKFAST7:30AM-10:45AM

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Featuring the music of Al Prescott

Quick Tips: Car Tip It may seem fruitless to wash your car during the win-ter only to have it get dirty again the next time you drive it. But in fact, it is more important to wash your vehicle during the winter season than any other time of the year. Snow, ice, salt, sand, and road chemicals can cause damage to your car’s exterior if not removed regularly. This is particularly damag-ing when the temperature repeatedly rises and then falls below freezing. Your best bet is to visit your local car wash and rinse the undercarriage and exterior as often as possible.

Healthy Living Tip Finding a weight loss buddy can give you support and make your effort more fun. But surprisingly, it can also help you lose more weight. A recent study by Brown Universi-ty showed that those who had a motivated friend lost nearly twice as much as those who were going it alone. Add another friend and you’ll do even better. They can help you watch what you eat, exercise with you, and help you when you are losing focus.

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Tax Preparation Accounting Services

Rick Rodgers, AccountantNancy Rodgers, Accounting Tech

Email: rickrodgers@mchsi.com

21 Long Point CourtOcean Pines, MD 21811

Ph: 410-208-1350Fax: 215-243-6012

Tax Tips By Rick Rodgers

10. Workers’ Compensation. Amounts you receive as work-ers’ compensation due to an occupational sickness or injury are fully exempt from tax if they are paid under a workers’ compensation act or a statute in the nature of a workers’ com-pensation act. The exemption, however, does not apply to re-tirement plan benefits you receive based on your age, length of service, or prior contributions to the plan, even if you retired because of an occupational sickness or injury. 11. Compensatory damages. Compensatory damages you receive for physical injury or physical sickness, whether paid in a lump sum or in periodic payments are not taxable. 12. Some canceled debts. Most canceled debt is actually tax-able. However, you would not include in income a canceled debt if the debt is canceled in a bankruptcy case under Title 11 of the U.S. Code or to the extent that you are insolvent (as defined by the IRS). 13. Medicare. Medicare benefits received under title XVIII of the Social Security Act are not includible in the gross in-come of the individuals for whom they are paid. This includes Part A and Part B. 14. Cash rebates. A cash rebate you receive from a dealer or manufacturer of an item you buy is not income, but you must reduce your basis by the amount of the rebate (if applicable). 15. Interest on qualified savings bonds. You may be able to exclude from income the interest from qualified U.S. savings bonds (series EE issued after 1989 or series I) you redeem if you pay qualified higher education expenses in the same year. The bond must have been issued to you when you were 24 years of age or older. 16. Interest on state and local government obligations. In-terest on state and local obligations (generally, bonds) is usu-ally exempt from federal tax. 17. Scholarships and fellowships. A candidate for a degree can exclude amounts received as a qualified scholarship or fel-lowship used to pay tuition and fees to enroll at or attend an educational institution, or fees, books, supplies, and equipment required for courses at the educational institution. Amounts used for room and board do not qualify for the exclusion.

A key responsibility of a tax preparer (perhaps the most important) is to determine what is and what is not taxable in-come. Following are examples of some of the major types of income or benefits that my clients ask about every tax season and the months in between. Due to space constraints, I need to limit what I can say here, but remember that these aren’t taxable for federal income tax purposes:

1. Gifts and inheritances. In most cases, property you re-ceive as a gift, bequest, or inheritance is not included in your income. 2. Child support payments. Alimony is tax deductible to the payor and taxable to the recipient. But child support is com-pletely tax neutral: no deduction for the payor and not taxable to the recipient. 3. Deferred compensation and retirement plans. These plans aren’t so much exempt as they are deferred. Your em-ployer will report to you the total amount of deferrals for the year under a deferred compensation plan; that amount is generally not included in your income until you make a with-drawal. 4. Sick pay benefits from certain insurance policies. If you are sick or injured and you receive compensation from your employer, that’s taxable, as are funds from a welfare fund; a state sickness or disability fund; an association of employers or employees; and an insurance company, if your employer paid for the plan. However, if you paid the premiums on an accident or health insurance policy, the benefits you receive under the policy are not taxable. 5. Employee gifts at the holidays. Those items don’t count as income to you. But if your employer gives you cash, a gift certificate, or a similar item that you can easily exchange for cash, it’s no longer considered a gift even if it comes in a big fat Santa card: it’s compensation. 6. Life insurance proceeds. In most instances, life insurance proceeds are not taxable to you. 7. Meals on work premises. You don’t have to include, as compensation, the cost of meals served on your employer’s premises so long as they’re furnished for the convenience of your employer. 8. Employer-provided vehicles. If your employer provides a car to you for business use, your personal use of the car is usually a taxable non-cash fringe benefit. 9. Veterans’ benefits. Veterans’ benefits paid under any law, regulation, or administrative practice administered by the De-partment of Veterans Affairs (VA) are exempt from tax.

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COASTAL COATINGS AND POWER WASHRick Landon

Commercial Condos Residential

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The Parke Clubhouse C

alendar January 2013

Clubhouse H

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very Day 1-3 P

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Open S

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Fri. 7:30-6:00 P

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10:10 Zumba, G

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11:10 AB

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1:00 Poker, G

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1:00 Mah Jongg, Library

5:30 Line Dancing B

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9:30 W

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10:00 Java Info Hour, G

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1:00 C

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6:30 P

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6:30 Duplicate B

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1:00 Com

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10 7:30 Parke W

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9:00 P

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10:10 Zumba, G

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11 9:30 Yoga, GH

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149:30 Water A

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6:00 P

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15 7:30 Parke Walkers

10:00 Zumba, G

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12:30 Mah Jongg, C

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12:30 Porcelain P

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assage Therapy 1:00 8 Ball 6:30 P

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17 7:30 Parke W

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18 9:30 Yoga, CR

9:00 P

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12:00 Paddle Tennis,

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2:30 Wine

Appreciation, Library

6:30 Texas Hold'em

219:30 Water A

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