RBW Online

ISSUE 257 Date: 6th October 2012

Come ploughing with “Owd Fred” on Page 9

2013 poetry collection

Issue 257

Page 2 EJS

© image

You shall not pass! This is my cucumber!

“I don't mind living in a man's world, as long as I can be a woman in it.” ― Marilyn

Monroe, Marilyn .... 2012 50th Anniversary of her death aged just 36 years old

Wikipedia image

“Write it so that people can hear it and it slides through the brain and goes

straight to the heart.” Maya Angelou

“Water is the softest thing, yet it can penetrate mountains and earth. This shows

clearly the principle of softness overcoming hardness.” Lao Tzu

Father giving puppy to child: “Careful what you call it ... You’ll be repeating that

name as a security question for the rest of your life...” (Facebook Friend quote)

“Don’t just teach your children to read, teach them to question what they read.

Teach them to question everything.” George Carlin

LIFE OBSERVATIONS

Is it really over 50 years since a Clockwork Orange came out? OMG, I’m so old ...

Did you know that “OMG” was first used in 1917 in a wartime related document.

Kindness is never wasted. It always makes a difference.

In the history of mankind, often great change is preceded by absolute chaos.

Books are perfect for entertainment and learning — no adverts, no subscriptions,

no batteries required.

Creativity is when intelligent people have fun.

Do not wait for the right time: no time will ever be just right!

You’ll never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice.

Conversation between old couple and artist street painter in the Market Square:

“His ear’s wrong!” “It’s a headdress.” “His eyes are too close together and his

nose is in the wrong place for Cliff Richard.” “It’s a red Indian chief.” “Very nice

dear, it looks just like him!” “Who?” “Cliff Richard.”

Horror of horrors! This week, on Radio Four, a supposedly intelligent woman was heard to use the phrase ‘Very impossible’. Whatever would Lord Reith have thought?

Issue 257

Page 3

freelance

Noun 1. freelance - a writer or artist who sells services to different employers without a long-term contract with

any of them

free lance, free-lance, freelancer, self-employed person, independent

worker - a self– employed person who works at a specific occupation and is employed by others as and

when required

Verb 1.

freelance - work independently and on temporary contracts rather than for a long-term employer

to do type of work in which they are specialised

Adj. 1.

freelance - working for yourself

free-lance, self-employed

As apposed to salaried - receiving a salary

2.

freelance - serving in a foreign army; "mercenary killers"

free-lance, mercenary

Freelance - is said to originate from the knights whose lances were free for hire and who were not pledged to one feudal

master; originally, a freelance was a free companion, or a person free of occupational, or political obligation or alle-

giance.

Jan

an E

yck

, "K

nig

hts

of

Chri

st"

(det

ail

of

the

Ghen

t A

ltar

pie

ce)

.

CLIVE‟s three FREE e-books

NOW PUBLISHED on RBW and issuu

http://www.risingbrookwriters.org.uk/DynamicPage.aspx?

PageID=52

http://issuu.com/risingbrookwriters

Issue 257

Page 4

Steph‟s two FREE poetry e-chapbooks now published on

www.issuu.com/risingbrookwriters

and on RBW main site

http://www.risingbrookwriters.org.uk/DynamicPage.aspx?

PageID=52

Next portrait exhibition: Riverside Gallery, October 13-27th

Random words: Same as last week 150 words

Assignment: - Locks and keys 400 words

2012: RBW FREE e-books NOW

PUBLISHED on RBW and issuu.com

http://www.risingbrookwriters.org.uk/

DynamicPage.aspx?PageID=52

http://issuu.com/risingbrookwriters

Cryptic Clue: Ring Austen’s girl and cause a problem.

Old man in blue scarf

Random Words YW Henry couldn’t remember how he’d ended up in an inhospitable desert wearing a pair of rose-coloured pyjamas. The incident was disturbing. In all his life he had never known such grief; his mouth was dry and his feet were bleeding. Driven to supplicate and pray in earnest he begged for help and then, miraculously an orange tree appeared beside him. The delicious fruit beckoned him to come and satisfy his thirst. But Henry was intransi-gent; nothing would persuade him that the tree was anything but a mirage, faulty vision caused by hunger and thirst. He spat out his chewing-gum in disgust and prayed again, a comparatively long prayer asking for his fa-vourite snack. He felt tiny vibrations in the earth and the oranges dropped from the tree and were replaced by cheese and basil baguettes. The deli-cious aroma of mascarpone filled his nostrils, but Henry remained uncon-vinced. He lay down in the hot sand and prepared to meet his maker.

Issue 257

Page 5

It’s a

ch

uckle

muscle

stre

tch

er ... g

o o

n h

ave a

lau

gh ...

Contro

l+C

lick th

e p

ictu

re to

follo

w lin

k.

Random words, September 27th PMW

Henry stepped outside in his pyjamas. His garden was like a desert. He couldn’t remember a drier summer. Tomorrow was the Chelsea Flower Show and he was getting bad vibrations about his chance of remaining Best in Show. The state of his orange rose was disturbing and filled him with grief. To make matters worse, several glass panes were loose in his greenhouse. He had tried to supplicate to the local council, to lift the dreaded hosepipe ban and thus relieve the situation. But they remained intransigent. In their letter, they described his problem as a comparative non-emergency, and trivial compared with world issues such as people bleeding and dying in foreign conflicts, and starving millions in Africa. “We find your reasoning to be faulty”, they wrote.

“What plebs!” Henry thought. Ah well. He would have to do his best. Chewing gum would make a temporary repair to the loose glass, and mascarpone was great at making the dull, brittle leaves of the roses look healthy and glossy.

Issue 242

Page 6

Francis Egerton was born in 1736 and as the result of heavy mortality within his family inherited vast wealth

and the title of 3rd Duke of Bridgewater at the age of just twelve. He attracted little attention as a youth: in-

deed, some of his relatives thought he was feeble-minded. It seems he was disappointed in love as a teenager:

certainly he never married. When he came of age at 21 he was thus extremely rich and entirely free. What was

he to do with his life?

He could, if he wished, follow the example of other young aristocrats and embark on a career of dissi-

pation, expending his fortune on wine and women, racehorses and cards. On a more positive level, he could

build himself a lavish mansion in the latest style and collect works of art. Or he could go into politics, and

spend his money on the expensive business of electioneering. But Bridgewater did none of these: instead, he

decided to build a canal.

The advantages of water transport had been well-known for centuries. A horse could only pull a cart-

load of half a ton on the bad roads of the time, but could manage 25 tons towing a barge. Adam Smith was to

calculate that “6 or 8 men, on a boat, can carry in, the same time, the same quantity of goods from London to

Edinburgh as 50 wagons, attended by 100 men and drawn by 400 horses”.

Amongst the duke‟s many sources of wealth were coalmines at Worsley, near Manchester; but there

were problems. Not only was the cost of transporting the coal into the city prohibitively high, but the mines

were liable to flooding, . The Duke and John Gilbert, his agent (effectively the CEO of the vast Bridgewater

estates) decided to resolve the problems by building a canal, ten miles long. They obtained a private Act of

Parliament authorising them to do this (which, amongst its provisions imposed

maximum charges for carriage on the canal) and employed a near-illiterate en-

gineering genius called James Brindley for the work. Brindley devised an in-

genious system using the water pumped from the mines to help fill the canal,

and built Barton Bridge, an aqueduct to carry the canal over the river Irwell.

Nothing like this had been attempted since Roman times, and the project was

dismissed by critics as "a castle in the air", but after initial difficulties it

worked, and soon became one of the wonders of the age.

(This contemporary picture shows the Duke proudly posing by Barton Bridge,

his famous aqueduct. Sadly, the bridge was demolished in 1894)

The costs were enormous; over a thousand pounds a mile (and to put all such

figures in context, we should remember that most families in England at that

time were having to survive on no more than £25 a year), which was met by the

Duke taking out loans, but even before it was opened in 1761 his ambitions

were extending. His new scheme was a branch from the Worsley canal to run

25 miles to reach the Mersey estuary at Runcorn. A new Act of Parliament would be needed, and the Duke,

Gilbert and Brindley travelled down to London to lobby support. In February 1762 Brindley was able to re-

cord, in his inimitable spelling, the final success of their bill in the House of Lords:-

“ad a grate Division of 127 fort Duk

98 noes for te Duke 29 Me Jorete”

Brindley had drawn chalk diagrams on the floor to explain the workings of his lock-gates to their lordships;

but the Duke‟s expenses for the trip included a mysterious payment of £300 to a certain “Mr Bill”, so we may

deduce that a certain amount of bribery was also involved.

This new venture, to be known as the Bridgewater canal, proved to be more difficult and expensive to

build than had been envisaged, and once again the Duke covered the costs largely by borrowing. The canal

was partially opened, and making a profit, by 1771, but determined campaigns of obstruction from local land-

owners delayed final completion until 1776. By this time money was extremely short; Gilbert‟s salary was

over £5,000 in arrears and the Duke‟s debts had risen to £300,000, incurring interest payments of £11,000 a

year. But with the true spirit of a fanatic, he became involved in even grander projects.

For many years people had contemplated a canal to open up the heart of England to water transport. The

Duke had personal connections with the midlands: his sister had married Earl Gower, the richest landowner in

north Staffordshire, and Gilbert‟s brother Thomas was Gower‟s agent; important and trusted enough for

Gower to have him elected to parliament for the nearby borough of Newcastle-under-Lyme. In December

1765 a public meeting was held at Wolseley Bridge, just south of Stafford, with Gower in the chair and influ-

ential local landowners like Bagot, Anson and Grey in attendance. Also present was Josiah Wedgwood, the

master potter, who needed the means to bring in china clay from Cornwall to his works near Stoke-on-Trent

and then to transport his high-quality wares down to London for sale. It was resolved to build a canal to link

the rivers Trent and Mersey, and thus allow a direct link by water between the west and east coasts. It would

connect with the Bridgewater canal at Preston Brook and run south to Stoke, then follow the line of the Trent

until the river became navigable. It would be 93 miles long, with 76 locks, 160 aqueducts and 213 road

bridges, with its most spectacular feature being be the Harecastle tunnel, 2880 yards in length, through the

Issue 257

Page 7

hills north of Stoke. An Act of Parliament for this was passed in 1766, and a company set up, with Wedgwood

as Treasurer and Brindley as Surveyor-General on a salary of £200 a year. £150,000 was to be raised from

shareholders, who included Bridgewater, Gower, Wedgwood and Gilbert, though as is the way of such projects

even in those days, it ended up costing twice this sum!

(This is the northern entrance to the Harecastle tunnel, at Kidsgrove, Stoke-on-Trent. Brindley's tunnel is the

one on the right, and is now too dangerous to be opened. The larger tunnel on the left, built a generation later

by Thomas Telford, is still in use)

Brindley saw the Trent-Mersey canal as a “Grand Trunk”, with branches that would link with England‟s two

other principal rivers, the Severn and the Thames, so at the same time he was involved in other projects to link

this canal with a Staffordshire-Worcestershire canal running south-west to join the Severn at Stourport, another

to Birmingham, to Coventry and Oxford. Brindley acted as consultant to all these schemes. The “canal age” had

taken off! The Trent-Mersey was partially opened and running by 1773, and completed by 1777. The Duke of

Bridgewater‟s debts reached a peak of £364,000 in 1786, equivalent to tens of millions today,, but by this time

his profits were almost covering the annual interest payments of £17,258 and he was confident of eventual suc-

cess.

Brindley died of diabetes, complicated by a chill caught whilst surveying the course for the Caldon canal

near Stoke, in 1772, and thus did not survive to see most of his great projects completed. Gilbert, whose share

of the work was at least as important as Brindley‟s, died in 1795. The Duke of Bridgewater lived until 1803, by

which time his canals were immensely profitable, and the value of his shares in the Trent-Mersey company had

multiplied 15 times, though most of the earnings were still being used to pay the debts. He was increasingly

eccentric in his later years, accused by his fellow-peers of bad language, irreligion and a generally dirty appear-

ance. Right till the end of his life he was engaged a new project: the Lea Navigation to run from London to

Hertford. He never married, so at his death his dukedom became extinct, and the huge returns on his projects

went to swell the already extensive wealth of his sister‟s family, the Gowers of Trentham. Certainly Bridge-

water must be regarded as of an obsessive, even a fanatic; but without his obsession, without his enormous re-

sources and vital social and political connections, the industries of the Midlands could hardly have taken off.

When Friedrich Engels commented that England had a “bourgeois aristocracy”, he might have had in his mind

the likes of the Duke of Bridgewater.

(This grandiose building is the "Duke of Bridgewater" inn, beside the Trent-Mersey canal at Longport, Stoke-

on-Trent. Alas, when I was there last year it was empty and seeking a new landlord)

Do you think the Over 50s can be creative?

Have you got time on your hands?

Do you like working with elderly people?

Do you enjoy creative writing?

Do you have any special skills to share?

How do you feel about team management?

Any good with fundraising?

Enjoy being hands-on with project management?

Enjoy putting on outside events?

Have you ever fancied trying voluntary work?

Ever done any public speaking?

How reliable are you?

Can you work under time pressure?

Can you smile through adversity and deliver on time?

And can you do all the above week in, week out, without being paid a single penny for all the effort?

If you can answer yes to any of the above come and talk to RBW ... we’re recruiting trustees ...

NB: All applicants will be fully CRB checked and references will be required.

Show and Tell

Interesting architecture.

Does anyone have any information about this

building?

Faith Hickey image

When harvest is finished, September is the time to plough the fields for winter sowing, and now is the time

for ploughing matches, with vintage and modern ploughs. (Stafford one was at Marston, September 2012)

I Booked into a Ploughing Match I booked into a ploughing match, there to show my skill, See how straight and even, my opening split instill, A moment’s loss of concentration blows the ideal apart, Spend the rest of all that day, looking like upstart. Good many tractors on the field, all like minded to plough, Markers out all over the place, beyond the plots allow, Down and back complete the split; wait for judge to mark, Close it up, flat top or pointed, critical watchers remark. Some pause for lunch walk to see, how the neighbour’s done, Body language tells it all, a grimace purse of lips so glum, They try to break your confidence, concentration goes, Look back and see plough blocked up, new expletives compose. All best mates when ya make a mess, condolence all come in, A very polite clapping for best in class, everyone wishing to win, A jolly good bunch of plough-men, relax till judge comes back, See who’s is best of the bunch, and who has got the plaque. Countryman (Owd Fred)

Marston Plo

ughin

g i

mag

es

repro

duce

d b

y k

ind

per

mis

sio

n o

f C

ountr

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an

Fancy dessert with no cooking and only one tricky bit

No Cook Lime Pie Base: Lightly grease a cake tin with an easy loose bottom ... (Can you say that in a family magazine?) Take packet of ginger nuts and some digestives and crush them in a plastic bag with a rolling pin or whizz in a blender if you can stand the noise and extra washing up. (About 10oz of crumbs) Take 5/6oz of melted butter or margarine and stir in the crumbs. Pile into bottom of cake tin and smooth flat remembering to pull the crumb mixture up the sides as well. Filling: Mix a big tin of condensed milk 14/15oz with grated rind of three limes and now be careful, this is the tricky bit — whisk the lime juice in very, very slowly or it will split and be nasty — then fold in half a pint of whipped double dream. When this is ready pour it over the base and chill for a couple of hours until set. To serve remove spring clipped base and decorate top with lime slices. This is not a good thing to eat if you’re on a diet ... It’s a treat item not an everyday one.

© P

har

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n |

Sto

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Imag

es &

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s

Issue 257

Page 12

Going to Banbury

As I was going to Banbury

Ri fol latitee O

As I was going to Banbury

I saw a line coddlin apple tree

With a ri fol latitee O.

And when the coddlins began to fall

I found five hundred men in all

And one of the men saw was dead

So I sent for a hatchet to open his head

And in his head I found a spring

And seven young salmon a learning to sing

And one of the salmon as big as I

Now do you not think I am telling a lie?

And one of the salmon as big as an elf

If you want any more you must sing it yourself

Research Online

Source: Cyril Winn, A Selection of some less known Folk-Songs, Vol 2, Novello.

This song was taken down from the memory of a „Sister Emma‟ (aged 71) of

Clewer, Berkshire, on March 13, 1909. Other references to this song have been rare

in any traditional British folk collections.

This version may come from the ballad of Tom Tell-Truth (c. 1676), a copy of which

is in the Roxburghe collection:

A copy appears in the Crawford Collection (circa 1890) and in the Roxburghe Bal-

lads (circa 1770).

A codling is a variety of apple (Kentish Codling, Keswick Codling), the word is a

16th century respelling of quodling, earlier (14th.-15th century) querdling, (disputed

origin). All codling varieties are cooking apples (sour) the word can also be applied

to an unripe apple.

"Aiken Drum" is a Scottish folk song and nursery rhyme, which may have originally been a Jacobite rebel song about the Battle of Sheriffmuir (1715).

There was a man lived in the moon, lived in the moon, lived

in the moon,

There was a man lived in the moon,

And his name was Aiken Drum.

Chorus

And he played upon a ladle, a ladle, a ladle,

And he played upon a ladle,

and his name was Aiken Drum.

And his hat was made of good cream cheese, of good cream

cheese, of good cream cheese,

And his hat was made of good cream cheese,

And his name was Aiken Drum.

And his coat was made of good roast beef, of good roast

beef, of good roast beef,

And his coat was made of good roast beef,

And his name was Aiken Drum.

And his buttons made of penny loaves, of penny loaves, of

penny loaves,

And his buttons made of penny loaves,

And his name was Aiken Drum.

And his waistcoat was made of crust pies, of crust pies, of

crust pies,

And his waistcoat was made of crust pies,

And his name was Aiken Drum.

And his breeches made of haggis bags, of haggis bags, of

haggis bags,

And his breeches made of haggis bags,

And his name was Aiken Drum.

The rhyme was first printed by James Hogg in Jacobite

Reliques 1820, as a song about the Battle of Sheriffmuir

(1715):

Sir Walter Scott in the novel The Antiquary (1816) refers to

Aiken Drum in a tale told by an old beggar about the origins

of a building. The beggar says that the stonework was built

for "auld Aiken Drum's bridal".

Aiken Drum is the name given by William Nicholson to a

fairy, or Brownie, the "Brounie o Blednoch" (1825) in his

poem.

Some researching into folklore speculate that the song may

derive from older fairy legends.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aiken_Drum

Ken you how a Whig can fight,

Aikendrum, Aikendrum?

Ken you how a Whig can fight, Aikendrum?

He can fight the hero bright,

With swift heels and armour light,

And his wind of heav'nly might, Aikendrum, Aiken-

drum!

Is not Rowley in the right, Aikendrum?

© Josefbosak | Stock Free Images & Dreamstime Stock Photos

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