INTR

OS, CONCLU

SIONS,

AND CONNECTI

NG THE

SPACES B

ETWEEN

INTRODUCTIONS: WHAT NOT TO DO

“The Dawn of Time” Introduction

Usually begins like this:

• Debates about human cloning have been a big problem for along time now.

• People have been talking about gun control since the beginning of guns.

Congratulations! You’ve said absolutely nothing!

INTRODUCTIONS: WHAT NOT TO DO

“The Your Reader Can’t Talk Back” Introduction

Usually begins like this:

• Have you ever thought about the problems with our environment?

• What do you think about illegal immigration?

Congratulations! You’ve asked a question that is not going to get answered.

INTRODUCTIONS: WHAT NOT TO DO

“The I Think You Care About My Problems” Introduction

Usually begins like this:

• I had a tough time picking a topic for this essay, but after much thought I went with the topic of abortion.

• After hours of research and carefully considering all the evidence, I’ve decided to write a paper about cheese.

Congratulations! You broke some genre rules.

INTRODUCTIONS: WHAT NOT TO DO

“The Jump Right to the Thesis” Introduction

Usually begins like this:

• <insert thesis here>

Congratulations! It’s about as jarring as a parachuter landing right in front of you without you having first seen them slowly approaching from above.

INTRODUCTIONS: WHAT NOT TO DO

“Glittering Generalities” Introduction

Usually begins like this:

• More and more kids are “sexting.” They are sending sexual text messages to each other. This is a big problem. I think it’s bad. We need to fix this.

Congratulations! Your teacher is asleep now.

SO WHAT DO I DO?

• Don’t be boring. If it bores you writing it, it will bore a reader.

• You’re trying to generate interest in the reader from the start. Ask yourself what will do that. Trust me, it’s none of the things we just saw.

• Lose the generalities- speak of specifics, use dynamic, colorful, and detailed prose

• Don’t acknowledge it’s an assignment, an essay, or any of the processes you went through getting here. Just write your essay.

• We’ve seen a number of good intros in the readings we’ve done for the course. Go back and look at them. Rhetorically analyze them to see what they’re doing.

ANECDOTE

• Some topics lend themselves very well to a brief story or example. This can be a factual event or even one that’s made up. The key is to be incredibly detailed and compose a compelling narrative.

It’s late at night and the kids are safely tucked into bed after the reading of a good story. She does her usual evening routine (brushes her teeth, gets into pajamas, goes over the plan for tomorrow) and snuggles into her own bed. Suddenly, a crashing sound brings her to consciousness and she realizes it’s three in the morning. The floorboards are cold against her feet as she slowly tip-toes to the kids’ room to make sure they’re alright. Seeing them still snug in bed is small solace. The crashing sound keeps repeating in her mind as she proceeds through the rest of the house. Surely the wind simply blew in a window. Surely the cat knocked some plates off the kitchen counter. None of these hypotheses prepare her for what she finds in the living room. There’s a man, a total stranger, standing in front of her desk and rifling through the drawers. He senses her presence and turns to reveal a small revolver in his hand.

We all hope that we will never face a home invasion like this in the middle of the night. However, millions of Americans feel more prepared ever since they made the decision to keep a handgun of their own in the house. However, there are members of congress that are actively seeking to take this right away, in effect, robbing millions of Americans of their security . . . .. . . . And so forth . . . .

STARTLING, SHOCKING, INTERESTING INFOYou’re an eco-system. In other words, while you may think of yourself as

an individual human being, you are travelling with all kinds of life and organisms where ever you go. You can’t see them. You can’t introduce them to your friends. They won’t back you up in a fight. However, be it in our skin cells, on our eyelashes, in our sweat glands, or between our teeth, the human body is actually inhabited by over 90 trillion living microbes (Glausiuez). Most of the time these microbes are harmless (maybe “icky” to think about but harmless). In fact, many of them are actually helpful to us. However, sometimes these microbes can get a little too pushy. They jockey for position in the eco-system of you and try to assert their authority. When this domination attempt happens, you have the potential to develop serious life threatening situations.

A paper that would segue from here into the important of education and prevention of staph infections.

OUT OF INTRO MATERIAL- DON’T FORGET!The paragraphs immediately following your intro

but before you start making your first point that may:

• Define terms (autism, cochlear implants)

• Provide historical context (discussion of previous, infamous school shootings, history of Israel/Palestine conflict)

• History of a place (Seaworld)

• Explain a relevant law or statute (Roe v Wade, )

• Famous examples (Jon Benet Ramsey for child beauty pageants)

CONCLUSIONS SYNTHESIS SECTIONS

• Sure, restate thesis and provide a brief summary.

• But key is to go further. Synthesize all that came before and strive to make a final point that you could not have made without first making all the points of the paper.

• Propose a Solution• Look to the Future• Conclude the Anecdote You Used in The Intro (Full Circle)• Broaden the Significance or Ramifications

TRANSITIONS

Transitions are sentences that signal to the reader the organization and connections in your essay. In a 5PE they are this:

• Firstly,

• Secondly,

• Finally,

• Another reason I feel . . .

• In conclusion

… don’t do this.

TRANSITIONS

The most effective use of transitions combines them with your topic sentences. Therefore a good transition should do 3 things.

• Briefly summarize the paragraph before (or the main idea from before)

• Preview the new idea coming up.

• Show the purposeful connection between the two ideas.

<Previous paragraph(s) discussing how marijuana is a fairly harmless drug>

Transition:

Since marijuana has been scientifically proven to cause very few physical or mental, long-term problems for the human body, these proofs set the foundation for its medical benefits for the terminally infirmed.

<Paragraph would continue on to discuss the medical benefits of pot. The transition sentence has set the stage for the new topic and shown the connection to the one before.>

<Previous paragraph about how euthanasia will save health care costs wasted on keeping the terminally ill alive.>

The money saved in an already heavily burdened health care system is not the only type of pressure that will be relieved if euthanasia is made legal. More important than the stress felt by often nameless healthcare providers is the personal stress and anxiety felt by the families of loved ones who face painful and incurable conditions.

<Paragraph proceeds to explain the loosening of stress on families. The transition has shown that we’re talking about a similar idea of burden being lifted but have moved from the general topic of health providers to the specific family members.>

<Previous paragraph about how sugary sodas at school affect physical health

Although excess sugar has hazardous effects on student bodies (and have contributed to the obesity epidemic), sugar does not stop at flesh and bone. Far more sinister is sugar’s effect on a child’s brain in relation to the fundamental purpose for school– learning.

<Paragraph proceeds to explain how sugar affects attention span and other learning tools

TRANSITIONS

• Tend to come at the beginning of the new paragraph (though some people prefer to put them at the end of paragraphs)

• Also operate within paragraphs in a more simplified form• Further,• From this,• In other words,• Building upon this idea,• On the contrary,