Interpersonal Conversations

Class 1

Administrative

Give quiz Return previous quiz at the end of

class Any questions about assignments,

where we are, etc.? Making up quizzes? Critiques?

Review

The Ugli Orange Negotiation The Disgruntled Airline Passenger The Good News Sources of Conflict Memorize these

Today

I. Illustrations of Sources of Conflict

II. Sources of Conflict in 12 Angry Men

III. The Super Bowl Dispute

I. Illustrations of Sources of Conflict

Roles Perceptions Knowledge/Information Tastes/Style Values/Beliefs Interests

II. Sources of Conflict in 12 Angry Men?

How many of our six sources of conflict can you find?

Provide examples

III. The Super Bowl Dispute Read the material What is the source of conflict here? What do you think of this example of

conflict resolution? Why is it a problem if she got what she

wanted? How else might this have been handled?

Next Time

Continue our discussion of interpersonal conversations

Interpersonal Conversations

Class 2

Administrative

Have Quizzes to return at end of class

Collect Critiques

Submit them electronically as well

Review

Illustrations of sources of conflict

Sources of Conflict in 12 Angry Men

The Super Bowl Dispute

Today

I. Arguments

II. Intent and Impact

III. Blame and Contributions

IV. Emotions and Being Emotional

I. Arguments

Why do we argue?

Is there anything wrong with arguing?

An alternative approach

II. Intent and Impact

What do SPH tell us about intentions and what we know about the intentions of the other person?

What to SPH tell us about explaining that our intentions are good?

Impact does not imply intent!

III. Blame and Contributions

Blame versus Contributions Problems with blame?

Prevents understanding Hinders problem solving

Contribution

III. Blame and Contributions Misconceptions

I should focus only on my own contributions Focusing on contribution means ignoring my

feelings Hard to spot contributions

Avoiding until now Being unapproachable Intersections Problematic role assumptions

How can you identify your own contributions?

IV. Emotions and Being Emotional

Why are people emotional in difficult conversations?

Confusion of expressing emotions and being emotional

Next Time

Continue our discussion of interpersonal conversations

Interpersonal Conversations

Class 3

Administrative

Give Quiz

Return critiques at the end of class

Remember to check announcements regularly

Review

Why we argue (and how we can discuss instead)

Intent and Impact Blame and Contribution Expressing Emotions and Being

Emotional

Today

I. Being Wrong

II. Being Right

III. Getting Angry

IV. Gemstones’ Family Vacation

I. Being Wrong

Why are we so reluctant to be wrong?

What are the consequences when we can’t be wrong?

Is there another way?

II. Being Right

Why do we like to be right so much?

What are the consequences when we believe we are right?

Is there another way?

III. Getting Angry

Why do we get angry in our conversations?

What are the consequences of getting angry?

IV. The Gemstones Family Vacation

Distribute Materials Read the Materials Break up into pairs Solve the problem (15 minutes) Write down the solution

Next Time

Continue with Interpersonal Conversations

Interpersonal Conversations

Class 4

Administrative

Return Quiz

Present journals and collect them at end of class

Review

Being Wrong

Being Right

Getting Angry

The Gemstone’s Family Vacation

Today

I. Not having the conversationII. What can the conversation

accomplish?III. How can you engage the other

person?

I. Not Having the Conversation When does it make more sense not

to have the conversation? When it is really your problem When you can change the situation

on your own When you can’t accomplish anything

by talking When you don’t have the time When your mood won’t allow you to

listen

II. What Can the Conversation Accomplish? You can learn how they see things

(and they can learn how you see them)

You can express the impact the situation has on you (and so can they)

You can engage their help in solving the problem

III. How Can You Engage the Other Person

Listen Acknowledge your contribution Genuinely seek to understand how

this looks to them Understand your limits

Next Time

Continue our discussion of interpersonal conversations

Interpersonal Conversations

Class 5

Administrative

Give quiz

Return journals at end of class

Mid-term examination – Feb. 26, 7:30 pm, G402

Review

Should I have the conversation?

What is the purpose of the conversation?

How can I engage the other person is a productive learning conversation?

Today

I. Speaking Clearly

II. Problem Solving

III. Listening

I. Speaking Clearly

Don’t make them guess

Especially common in personal and particularly romantic relationships Using subtext Easing in

I. Speaking Clearly

Don’t present your conclusions as truth

Overstatement

II. Problem-Solving

Reframing Statements asserting truth Accusations Blame Judgements

III. Listening

Persistence about listening

How does this sound?

Why is this important?

Next Time

We’ll finish the topic of interpersonal conversations

Interpersonal Conversations

Class 6

Administrative

Return quizzes at the end of class

Collect critiques now

Any questions about where we are or what we are doing?

Review

Speaking Clearly

Problem Solving

Listening

Today

I. If They Won’t Play

II. Problem Solving (Again)

III. Pat’s Curfew

I. If They Won’t Play

Nothing will always work

Discuss the dynamic Advantages Risks

When to use this approach

II. Problem Solving (Again)

You don’t have to agree Gather information Invent options Ask what standards should apply What are your alternatives if no

agreement is reached?

III. Pat’s Curfew

Divide up the class

Distribute the materials

See if you can come to a solution

Next Time

Begin Unit on Negotiation and Problem Solving