Interpersonal Communication•also called Dyadic •communication between two people•the relationship stage of communication

•What is interpersonal communication?

CHARACTERISTICS

Metacommunication Messages

Quality Channel

Acquaintances

Romantic Relationships

Work Relationships

Family Relationships

Friendships

Types of Interpersonal Relationship

WHY DO WE BUILD RELATIONSHIPS WITH ONE PERSON OVER ANOTHER?

•Proximity

•Similarity

•Complementary = opposites attract

•Social Exchange (rewards-costs=outcome)

•Appearance

•Competence

•Prefer talented but flawed

•Exception: Hi or low self-esteem person wants perfect person

•Reciprocal attraction

•Other person likes you

How Do Relationships Develop?

Theories of Relational Development

_Knapps’s Developmental Model

Initiating

Experimenting

Intensifying

Integrating

Bonding Differentiating

Circumscribing

Stagnating

Avoiding

Terminating

Maintenance

Coming Together Coming Apart

Quickly or Slowly May Stabilize

Forward or Backward

Dialectical Model

– Competing goals (dialectical tensions)

• Connection vs Autonomy

• Openness vs Privacy

• Predictability vs Novelty

How do we build better and deeper relationships?

Intimacy

Self-Disclosure

Intimacy

GENDER AND INTIMACY

Gender Impacts Intimacy Styles

FemalesSelf-discloseReveal feelingsShare (-) and (+)

Sex is a way to express intimacy

MalesDo things togetherDo things for you to show caring

Sex is a way to create (build) intimacy

Culture Impacts Intimacy Styles

Rebekah Nathan

My Freshmen Year

Collectivistic Cultures

•Japan•More in-group vs outsiders

Individualistic Cultures

•USA•Cocktail Party Conversationalists

Self-Disclosure:

deliberately revealing personal and

significant information about oneself that would otherwise be unknown

Social Penetration Modeland Self-Disclosure

– Breadth: # of topics discussed

– Depth: shift from non-revealing messages to personal messages

– The greater the depth and breadth the more intimate the relationship.

Johari’s WindowModel of Self-disclosure

• Comprised of four quadrants: Open, Blind, Hidden and Unknown.

• Quadrants become smaller or larger based on the amount of communication and self-disclosure in a relationship.

• Generally the larger the open area, the more intimate the relationship.

What is appropriate self-disclosure?

– Is the other person important to you?– Is the amount and type of disclosure

appropriate?– Is the disclosure relevant?– Is the disclosure reciprocated?– Will it be constructive?

Is the risk of disclosing reasonable?

Trust

What is trust?

What causes you to lose trust in someone?

-To believe that someone is honest and means no harmThe Free Dictionary

What can you do if you don’t want to self-disclose?

•Equivocate

•Hint (face-saving)

•Lie

Lying

• Dating couples lie in about 1/3 of relationships

• College students tell their mothers lies in 50% of conversations.

• Average = 3 lies for every 10 minutes of conversation

• Many lies are altruistic lies or “white lies”