Interpersonal Attraction & Close Relationships

Need to Affiliate It is a basic human motive to seek and maintain interpersonal relationships Our affiliation with others serves various functions: Positive stimulation Social support Attention Social comparison In general, those with a network of close social ties tend to be happier, healthier, and more satisfied with life than those who are more isolated Sometimes our affiliation needs are not met, because of Ostracism When an individual is ignored by others or excluded from a social group Shyness This will lead to a feeling that we dont belong (ostracism) or a feeling of deprivation about social relations (shyness) May lead to loneliness (dispositional/existential vs situational) Existential/ dispositional loneliness is just a feeling of loneliness despite having rich social life It is a state of mind that an individual has and tends to be more permanent The individual feel as though they lack real connections with other Situational loneliness is due to factors in a situation that reduces the number of close relationships that you may have Ex you are moving away to a new town/school If you are shy the it can manifest into existential loneliness This is temporary feeling. Social exclusion leads to increased sensitivity to interpersonal information, in less effective cognitive functioning, and to low self-esteem over time (Baumeister, Twenge & Nuss, 2002) Very sensitive to many social cues Anything said in a social setting is seen as though it is them that others are referring to. Are excluded and so they feel like everyone is against them Tends to lead into a never ending negative circle Few friends low self-esteem neglects current friendshiploses friends low self esteemInterpersonal Attraction There are two basic and necessary factors in the attraction process: Proximity Exposure These two are called propinquity Effect that occurs when chances of meeting another person increases because of nearness in the physical space Smaller the distance the higher the probability that people will meet and meet more frequently Festinger study Chartered friendships in apartment complex determined by physical and functional proximity People who lived closer to the stairs/doors/entrance will know more people in the building Why does proximity lead to liking? Repeated exposure leads to feeling of familiarity Evolution Familiar things, including others, more likely to be safe Physical attractiveness and Stereotypes Based on the What is beautiful is good stereotype The belief that physically attractive people also have other socially desirable characteristics Beautiful people are liked more by adults, children and infants Clifford & Hatfield (1973) Gave teachers identical information about a boy and a girl, but varied attractiveness DV rated intelligence and success They rated the more attractive kid was more intelligent and more likely succeed Roszell & al. (1990) 1-5 scale of attractiveness For each point, people tented to earn an extra $2000 Is the stereotype accurate? It is both accurate and not accurate the accuracy could come from the fact that a self-fulfilling prophecy more attractive someone is the nicer people are to them and the more support they get meaning they gain self-confidence and tend to succeed in the things that they put their minds to Why does the stereotype persist? Many research topics on interpersonal attraction have focused on physical attractiveness; however, other factors, like intelligence, have also been studies. Men and women differ in this criterion for sexual partners, but not for long-term partners Kenrick & al. (1993) Students in these series of studies were asked: What is the minimum percentile of intelligence you would accept in considering someone for: A DATE A SEXUAL PARTNER A ONE NIGHT STAND A STEADY DATING PARTNER A MARRIAGE PARTNER See slides 7-12Close Relationships Often involve three basic components: Feelings of attachment, affection, and love. The fulfillment of psychological needs. Interdependence between partners, where a change in behaviour of one results in a change in behaviour of partner. Partners gatts be in sync According to Aron & al. (1991), the movement from casual to close relationships had to involve the development of interdependence. Close relationships are only possible with the inclusion of the other in ones self concept Referring to you and your partner as we Unable to define who you are without including them. Closeness = degree to which cognitive representations of the self-overlap with the partner The first close relationships develop in the family These set the stage for the relationships that we will form throughout our lives Attachment Styles (Shaver & Brennan, 1992) Our first experience of attachment occurs with mum/dad and fam members How this attachment style is affects they types of attachment styles an individual will develop later in life Our earliest developmental experiences allow us to form two working models Working model of the self Reflects our basic feelings of self-worth or self-esteem Working model of others Reflects our basic beliefs involving interpersonal trust The two working models define different attachment styles that influence most of our close relationships Secure attachment style Characterized by high self-esteem and interpersonal trust Most successful and desirable attachment style Fearful-avoidant attachment style Negative working model of self and others Tends to mistrust others Most insecure and least adaptive attachment style Preoccupied attachment style High interpersonal trust and low self esteem Tend to be conflicted and is an insecure attachment style They desire a close relationship but they feel unworthy of their partner and are vulnerable to rejection Want people to like them but they are not about themselves. They trust others but do not view themselves positively They want others to like them but they do not like themselves Dismissing attachment style High self-esteem but you dont trust other people Is a conflicted and insecure attachment style Feel as though they deserve a close relationship but are frustrated b/c of mistrust of potential partners results in a tendency to reject the other person at some point in the relationship to avoid being the one that is rejected best combo is secure + secure these are more successful secure + other can also be successful if the securely attached one is able to help the other person change-but this tends to be a of of work because they dot really know where the mistrust/low self-esteem comes from secure + high self-esteem & mistrustful this could work if the secure one shows them that they can be trusted combinations of other attachment styles(minus secure) they dont usually work attachment styles are on a continuum so the severity of your class varies Attachment Styles Slide 15Close Relationships Another determinant of the nature and quality of our relationships is whether we have a communal orientation or an exchange orientation Exchange Relationships: Participants expect and desire strict reciprocity in their interactions (equity concerns) Want to be repaid immediately for favours Tend to be exploited when favour arent reciprocated Take note of what each I bringing to the relationship Doing something for your partner has no effect on your mood. I do something for you, you do something for me This relationship only works when both partners are strong exchange relationship thinkers. Communal Relationships: Participants expect and desire mutual responsiveness to each others needs Do not really reciprocate favours Do not feel exploited when favours are not repaid Do not keep track of what each is contributing to the relationship Helping their partner puts them in a good mood. When both partners have this approach tend to have happier partnerships What is love? Sternbergs Triangular Theory of love (1986) This researcher believes that the numerous ways to define love (i.e., caring, loyalty, attraction, etc.