Interdependency

How are relationships like economies? What is exchanged? What determines if we’ll stay in our current relationships? Why do some relationships fall apart quickly? How can we remain satisfied in our relationships?

Social Exchange Maximum reward at minimum cost

Rewards – anything that brings enjoyment or fulfillment to the recipient

Costs – financial expenditures, injuries, frustrations, restrictions, etc.

Outcome = Rewards – Costs

We want the BEST possible outcomes

Outcomes are measured against our expectations

Comparison level (CL) – the value of the outcomes that we believe we deserve in our dealings with others

Basic Math:

Outcomes > CL = Satisfied relationship Outcomes < CL = Dissatisfied relationship

Caveat: Even if you are making a profit, you may not think that profit is big enough

Comparison level for alternatives (CLalt) – outcomes that we can receive by leaving our current relationships and moving on to the best alternative partner

But when do people actually leave?

Must consider the availability and desirability of potential alternatives

Prospect of loneliness

Investment in the current relationship (Rusbult, Drigotas, & Verette, 1994). Tangible items (furniture, money, etc.) Psychological benefits (love and respect

from in-laws, for example)

CLalt is whatever you think it is May be influenced by self-esteem and

access to information

Outcomes – CLalt = dependence or independence

Types of relationships in interdependency theory

outcome

CLalt

CL

A happy, stable relationship

outcome

CLalt

CL

A happy, stable relationship

outcome

CL

CLalt

An unhappy, but stable relationship

outcomeCL

CLalt

A happy, but unstable relationship

outcome

CLalt

CL

An unhappy, unstable relationship

outcome

CLalt

CL

An unhappy, unstable relationship

How might people’s CLalt’s influence their interactions with one another?

Betty’s and Barney’s outcomes

Betty’s CLalt

Barney’s CLalt

Principle of lesser (least) interest – the partner who is less dependent on a relationship has more power in it

CL and CLalt over time We may become used to wonderful

treatment from our partners, raising our CL

But if outcomes remain the same, satisfaction will decrease

As for CLalt, we may have entered the age of “permanent availability”

Rewards and Costs over time

Beginning

Developing Established Beginning

Developing Established

Rewards

Costs

Successful Relationships

Unsuccessful RelationshipsGraphs adapted from Eidelson, 1981

Other good vs. bad exchanges Gottman and Levenson (1992) observed

that well-regulated couples maintained a ratio of positive to negative exchanges of 5:1 or better

Well-regulated couples were more satisfied

Four years later, 56% of poorly regulated couples were divorced vs. 24% of well-regulated couples

We’ve seen that satisfaction can decrease as CL’s rise over time

But outcomes tend to decrease over time, too

Relationship satisfaction declines in the first few months after marriage

How come? Remember social cognition? Impression

management takes work Trivial annoyances may build up through

repetition Partners may reveal secret information

(intentionally or accidentally) “Fatal attractions” Birth of children (unrealistic expectations)

These may also be the very things that keep people from marrying in the first place, as they are discovered over time

Are we really this greedy? Providing good outcomes for one’s

partner can ultimately be self-serving It may influence them to stay It may influence them to do nice things for

you, too

Nevertheless, there is plenty of compassionate thoughtfulness in interdependent relationships

Exchange vs. Communal Relationships (Clark & Mills, 1979)

Exchange relationships – carry the expectation of immediate repayment for benefits given

Communal relationships – carry the expectation of mutual responsiveness to one another’s needs

Equitable Relationships Proportional justice – each partner gains

benefits that are proportional to his or her contributions (Hatfield, 1983)

A relationship is equitable when the ratio of your outcomes to your contributions is similar to that of your partner

Your outcomes

Your contributions

Your partner’s outcomes

Your partner’s contributions

=

Partner A

Partner B80

508050

=

20

2010

0100

=

5025

10050

=

a)

b)

c)

Partner A

Partner B

8050

6050

≠

8050

8030

≠

d)

e)

A is overbenefitted

A is underbenefitted

What are some ways to restore equity?

If both partners are prospering, does it even matter?

Equity theory suggests that people are happiest when the relationship is fair

Overbenefitted people should feel guilty and somewhat less content

Underbenefitted people should simply dislike the unfairness of the situation

Studies show that no one likes being underbenefitted

But research is inconsistent regarding overbenefitted people and equity in general

When might equity matter? Division of household tasks Childcare

Commitment Commitment can be either a happy

dependence or a burdensome entrapment

It can result from both positive and negative influences

Investment Model (Rusbult Drigotas, &

Verette, 1994)

Satisfaction Level

Quality of Alternatives

Investment Size

Commitment Level

Decision to remain

+

-

+

+

Very good generalizability

Useful for predicting relationship duration, faithfulness, and even if battered wives will try to escape their abusive husbands

Other types of commitment? Personal Constraint Moral (e.g. long-distance relationships)

Commitment leads people to take action to protect and maintain a relationship, even when it is costly to do so Accommodative behavior Willingness to sacrifice

Committed couples also consider their relationships to be superior to others’