Instant of My Death

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Contents

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Support for the translationwas provided

by the French Ministry of Culture

Original ly publ ished n French as :

for The Insttlnt of Ml Death'tn r994, Maurice Blanchot, L'instantde ma mort,

by Fata Morgana

O Fata Morgana 1994.

Reproducedby permissionof FataMorgana.

TH E INSTANT OF MY DEATH

MauriceBlanchot

DEMEURE: FICTION AN D TESTIMONY

Jacques errida

Reading beyond he beginning";

or , On th eVenom n Letters:

Postscript nd "LiterarySupplement"

Notes

r)

in

.sntF vr,

L,'

r998,Jacques

for Demeure: Fiction and Tistimony,

Derrida, Demeure:Maurice Blanchot,

ro4

II I

r3$,by Edit ions Gali lde

@ 1998,Edi t ionsGal i lde.

StanfordUniversiry Press

Stanford,Cal i fornia

@ zooo by the Board of Tiusteesof the

Leland Stanford Junior University

Printed in the United Statesof America

CtP data appearat the end ofthe book



TH E INSTANT

OF MY DEATH

Maurice Blanchot



S Linstant de ma mort

Je un souvtENs 'u n jeunehomme homme en -

core eune-emp€chd de mouri r par a mort m€me-et

peut-6tre 'erreurde I' injustice.

Le s All ids avaient rdussi ) prendre pied su r le sol

frangais. es Allemands,ddj) vaincus, uttaient en vain

avecun e nuti le ferocitd.

Dans une grandemaison (l e ChAteau'disait-on),on

frappa la porte plut6t timidement. Je saisqu e le jeune

homme vint ouvrir ) de s h6tes qu i sansdoute deman-

daientsecours.

Cette ois,hurlement: Tousdehors."

Un lieutenantnazi,dansun frangais onteusement or-

mal, fi t sortir d'abord es personneses plus Agdes, uis

deux eunes emmes.

"Dehors,dehors."Cette ois, l hurlait.Le eunehomme

ne cherchaitpourtant pas fuir, mais avangaitentement'd'une manibrepresque acerdotale.e l ieutenant e sec-

oua, ui montra de sdouil les, esballes' l y avaiteu mani-

festement ombat, e sol dtait un sol guerrier.

Le lieutenants'dtrangla ans un langage izarre,et met-

2

S The Instantof My Death

I REMEMSERyoung man-a ma n sti l l young-pre-

vented rorn dying by death tself-and perhaps he error

of injustice.

Th e All ies ha d succeededn getting a foothold on

French oil.The Germans,already anquished,werestrug-gling n vain with uselesserocity.

In a argehouse th e Chiteau, it wascalled), omeone

knockedat the door rather imidly. I know that the young

ma n came o open th e door to guestswh o were presum-

ablyasking or help.

This tirne,a howl: "Everyone utside."

A Nazi ieutenant, n shameful ly ormal French,made

th e oldestpeopleexit first, an d then rw o young women.

"Outsids, outside."This time, he wa s howling. The

youllg m?.n, however,did not tr y to flee but advanced

slowly, n an almost priestly manner. Th elieutenant

shookhinr, showedhim the casings, ullets; herehad ob-

viouslybeen fighting; the soil was a war soil.

The lieutenant choked n abizarre anguage.And put-

ting th e casings,he bullets,a grenade nder th e noseof



L'instantde ma mort

tant sous e ne zde I'homme ddj) moins eune (o n viei l l i t

vi te) les douil les, es balles,un e grenade, ri a distincte-

ment: "Voil) ) quoi vous6tesparvenu."

Le nazimi t en rang se shommes pour atteindre, elon

les bgles,a cible humaine.Le jeunehomme dit: "Faites

au moins rentrer ma famil le." Soit: a tante (9 4 ans),sa

mdreplus eune,sascur et sabelle-scur,un long et lent

cortbge, i lencieux, omme si tout dtaitddj) accompli.

Je sais-le sais-je-que celuiqu e visaient dj i le sAlle-

mands,n'attendantplus que I'ordre inal, dprouvaalorsun

sentimentde ldgbretd xtraordinaire, ne sortede bdati-

tude (rien d'heureux ependant),-al ldgresseouveraine?

La rencontre e a mort et de a mort?

A sa place, e ne chercherai as analyser e sentiment

de ldgbretd. l dtait peut-€tre rour ) coup invincible.

Mort-immortel. Peut-€tre 'extase. lut6t le sentiment

de compassion our I'humanitdsouffrante,e bonheurde

n'€trepa s mmortel ni dternel.Ddsormais, l fut l id i lamort, par une amitid subreptice.

A ce t nstant,brusque etour au monde,dclata e bruit

considdrable 'une proche batai l le. Le s camarades u

maquisvoulaientporter secours celui qu'i lssavaient n

danger. e ieutenant 'dloigna our se endre ompte.Le s

Allemands restaienten ordre,pr6ts ) demeurerainsi dans

une mmobil i td qu i arr6tait e temps.

Mais voici qu e I'un d'eux s'approcha t dit d'une voix

ferme: "Nous, pas al lemands, usses," t, dans une sorte

de rire: "armdeVlassov," t i l lui fi t signede disparaitre.

Jecrois qu'i l s'dloigna, oujours

danse

sentimenrdeldgbretd, u point qtr' i l se errouvadans un bois dloignd,

nommd "Bois des bruybres," i l i l demeuraabritdpa r es

arbresqu'i l connaissait ien. C'est dans e bois dpaisqu e

tout ). coup, et aprbs ombien de temps, l retrouva e sens

du rdel.Partout,de s ncendies, ne suitede fe u continu,

The nstant of My Death

th e man already es syoung (one agesquickly), he dis-

tinctly shouted: This is what yo u havecome o. "

Th e Nazi placedhi s me n in a ro w in order to hit, ac -

cording to the rules, he human target.The young ma n

said, At leasthavemy family go inside."So it was: he

aunt (ninety-fouryears ld); his mother,younger;hi s sis-

ter and his sister-in-law; long,slow procession, i lent,as

if everything ad already ee ndone.

I know-do I know it-that the one at whom the Ger-

mans were alreadyaiming, awaiting bu t th e final order,

experiencedhe n a feelingof extraordinary ightness,a

sort of beatitude (nothing h"PPy,however)-5svglsign

elation? he encounter f deathwith death?

In his place, will not try to analyze.He was perhaps

suddenly nvincible. Dead-immortal. Perhaps cstasy.

Rather he feelingof compassionor sufferinghumanity,

th e happiness f not being mmortal or eternal.Hence-

forth, he wasbound to deathby a surreptitious riendship.At that instant,an abrupt return o the world, th e con-

siderablenoise of a nearby battle exploded.Comrades

from the mxluis wanted to bring help to one they knew

to be in danger.The lieutenantmoved away o assesshe

situation.Th e Germansstayed n order,prepared o re -

main thus n a n immobil i ty that arrestedime.

Then one of them approached nd said n a firm voice,

"\7e'reno t Germans,Russians," nd ,with a sortof laugh,

"Vlassovarmy," and made a sign fo r him to disappear.

I think he moved away,sti l l with th e feelingof l ight-

nTS, unti l he Found imself n a distant orest, amed he

"Bois de sbruybres,"wherehe remained heltered y trees

he knew well. In the dense forest suddenly, after how

much time, he rediscovered senseof the real. Every-

where ires,a continuous succession f fires;al l the farms

were burning. A li ttle later,he learned ha t threeyoung



L'instant de ma mort

toutes es ermesbrfilaient. Un peu plus tard, l apprit que

trois jeunesgens, il s de fermiers,bien dtrangers tout

combat, et qu i n'avaientpour tort qu e leur jeunesse,

avaientdtd abattus.

M€me leschevaux onflds, ur a route,dans eschamps,

attestaientune guerrequi avait durd. E,n dalitd,combien

de temps s'dtait-ildcould?Quand le ieutenantdtait revenu

et qu'i l s'dtait endu compte de la disparitiondu jeune

chAtelain, ourquoi la colbre, a rage,ne I'avaient-elles as

poussd br0ler le Chiteau (immobile et majestueux)?

C'est qu e c'dtait e Chiteau. Su r la fagade tait inscrite,

comme un souvenir ndestructible,a datede r8o7. Etait-

il assez ultivd pour savoire\re c'dtait I'annde ameusede

Idna, orsqueNapoldon,sur son petit chevalgris, passait

sous es en€tres e Hegelqu i reconnuten lu i "l '6.me u

monde," ainsiqu'i l l 'dcrivit un ami?Mensonge t vdritd,

car,comme Hegel 'dcrivit ) un autre ami, les Frangais il-

lbrent et saccagbrent a demeure.Mais Hegel savait dis-

tinguer 'empiriqueet I'essentiel. n cetteannde y44,lel ieutenant nazieu t pour le ChAteau e respect u la con-

siddration ue les ermesne suscitaient as .Pourtanton

fouilla partout. On prit quelqueargent;dansune pibcesd-

parle, "l a chambrehaute," e ieutenant rouva despapiers

et une sorte d'dpaismanuscrit-qui contenaitpeut-etre

des plans de guerre.Enfin il partit. Tout brirlait, sauf e

ChAteau.LesSeigneurs vaientdtd dpargnds.

Alors commengasansdoute pour le jeune homme le

tourment de l ' injustice.Plus d'extase;e sentimentqu'i l

n'dtait vivant que parceque,m6me aux yeux des Russes,lappartenait . une classe oble.

C'dtait cela, a guerre: a vie pour le s uns,pour le sau -

tres, a cruautdde 'assassinat.

Demeuraitcependent, u moment oir la fusilladen'dtait

plus qu'en attente, e sentimentde dgbretd ue e ne sau-

The nstant of My Death

rren, sons of farmers-truly strangers o al l combat,

whoseonly fault was heir youth-had beenslaughtered.

Even the bloated horses,on the road, in the fields,at -

tested o a war that had gone on. In reality,how much

time ha d elapsed? he n th e ieutenanr erurnedan d be -

came aware he young chatelainehad disappeared'why

<lid anger, age,not prompt him to burn down the Chi-

teau(immobile and majestic)? ecauset was he chateau.

on th e facadewa s inscribed, ik e an indestructible e-

minder, the date r8o7.twashe cultivatedenough o know

this wa s he famousyearof Jena,when Napoleon,on his

smallgrayhorse,passed nder he windows of Hegel,who

recognizedn him the "spirit of the world," ashe wrote to

a friend?Li e an d truth: fo r as Hegel wrote to another

friend, th e Frenchpil lagedan d ransacked is home. Bu t

Hegelknew ho w to distinguish he empiricalan d th e es -

,.r,iirl. In that year 1944, he Nazi lieutenanthad for the

chateau a respecr r consideration hat the farms did not

arouse.Everything was searched, owever.Some money

wa s taken; n a seParateoom' "the high chamber," he

lieutenant ound papersand a sort of thick manuscript-

which perhaps ontainedwar plans.Finallyhe eft. Every-

thing was burning, except he chiteau. The seigneurs ad

beenspared.

No doubt what then began or the young man was he

tormenr of injustice.No more ecstasy;he feeling ha t he

was only living because, ven n the eyesof the Russians,

he belonged o a nobleclass.

lThis wa s war: l i fe for some, or others, he cruelty ofassassination.

There remained,however,at th e moment when th e

shootingwa s no longerbu t to come, he feelingof l ight-

ness hat I would not know how to translate: reed rom

life? he infinite openingup ?Neither happiness, or un-



L'instant de ma mort The Instant of Ml Death

rais traduire: l ibdr4,dela vie? 'infini qu i s'ouvre?Ni bon-

;;;" ni malheur. Ni l'absencede crainte et peut-6tre ddji

l. 0" , au-del ) . Je sais, ' imagine qu e ce sentiment in -

"""fyr"Ufe changeace qu i lui restaitd'existence'Comme si

; ;;r, hors de lui ne Pouvait ddsormaisque seheurter ) la

-"ra

en lui. "J e suisvivant' Non' tu es mort'"

happiness.No r th e absence f fbar an d perhapsalrea<iyth e stepbeyond. know I imagine ha t rhisunanalyzablefeeling hangedwhat there emai'ed fo r hi m of existence.As if th e deatho'rside of hi m could only he'cefbrth col-l idewith th e death n him. "l tl m alive.No , yolr ar edead.,'



L'instant de ma mort

Plus ard, revenu Paris, l rencontraMalraux.Celui-ci

lr-ri aconta qu'i l avait dtd fait prisonnier (sans6tre re -

connu),qu'i l avait dussi . s'dchapper,out en perdantun

manuscrit. Ce n'dtaient ue de s dflexions ur 'art, aci les

) reconstituer,andis qu'un manuscritne saurait '6tre."Avec Paulhan, l fi t fairede s echerches ui ne pouvaient

qu e rester aines.

Qu'importe.Seuldemeure e sentimentde ldgdretd ui

es t a mort m€me ou, pour le dire plus prdcisdment,' in-

stant de ma mort ddsormaisouioursen nstance.

The nstant of'My Death

Later,having returned o Paris,he me t Malraux, wh o

said ha t he ha d been aken prisor-rerwithout beingrec-

ognized)an d that he had succeededn escaping,osinga

manuscript n t he process.lt wa sonly reflections n art,

easy oreconstitute, hereas manuscriptwould no t be."

\fi th Paulhan,he made inquirieswhich could only re -

main in vain.\Whatdoes t matter.Al l that remains s the feelingof

lightness hat is death tself or, to put it more precisely,he

instant of mv death henceforthalways n abeyance.

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Instant of My Death