INROADSFinal issue of 2014

Who’s your hero, I wonder. Could it be someone of

great strength and courage? Maybe someone who

swoops in and save the day?

To us, a hero is an ordinary person doing the

extraordinary. Everyone can be a hero. Go the extra

mile. Change minds and percepions and dare I say it, change the world. Stand up and step in. Speak

your mind. Be kind. Pay it forward. Make a differ-

ence. That is all it takes. You don’t need a cape.

You know it has been a great but stormy year for us.

You know it because you were with us all the way.

We will never be able to thank you enough for the

support that you have given us. We appreciate the

ime that you took ime to say hi to us at our booth. We recognize the effort that you made when you join us at our forums. We are grateful for the

funds that we receive from you for the women and

children we both care for. We recognise that look in

your eyes when you listen intently to us talking

about issues that women are currently facing.

So, please keep up the good work that you are

doing. We are looking forward to engage with you

more in 2015. In the meanime, let’s work together in eliminaing violence against women.

You know you can be a Hero!

Vivian Yap

p/s We also want to send a quick shout out to a staff of Accenture who designed our T-shirt (as shown above) in

2013 for their event in conjuncion with Internaional Women’s Day. Thank you for being so awesome! In case you didn’t know, the T-shirts sell like hot cakes!

Who’s your hero?

DANGER AT THE SHELTERConfidentiality compromised Written by Vivian Yap

2

Upin, Ipin & MeABOUT MYSELF

My name is Tunku Maziah bini Tunku Dato’ Mukhtar. My family’s roots are in Kedah and I am linked to the Kedah Royal family through both parents.

Unlike a fairy tale, I did not grow up in a palace. As my father was a Government officer, I went to the local Government schools and lived in Government provided standard accommodaion. As work dictated my father’s locaion, the family had to move from ime to ime and I had fun schooling in different states throughout my school life.

Writen by Tunku Maziah bini Tunku Dato’ Mukhtar

My interests in school varied – because I love to be outstanding in class and in the field. Whenever given the opportunity, I was either on stage showing off my so-called acing skills or in the netball court or hockey pitch or proudly walking to the podium to receive my prize in track and field events. (I guess I let a mark in the schools I studied because some friends I met up with ater leaving school sill recall things I did with them!)

My career too was varied. I was an employee for nearly 30 years of my life. I never wanted to be stale in one job and enjoyed experimening with different porfolios to add excitement to my resume. My biggest joy is always to see any mission I undertook, facing all challenges, success-fully accomplished.

Today I am the publisher of one of the top comic magazines in the country (Majalah Komik Upin & Ipin). I undertook this wonderful ‘job’ with my husband (ater we reired from employment and

set up this company, NYLA, named ater our granddaughters) because we looked for and were rewarded with the opportunity to do something for the naion’s children, i.e. to encourage them to read and to help them improve their social skills.

Work aside, I enjoy spending ime with my grandchildren at home and in Australia. My other pasimes include morning or evening walks with my husband and workouts in the gym.

UPIN & IPIN

These 5 year old twins, whose parents perished in an accident, live with their sister and grandmother. Upin, the elder twin (by 5minutes) has a curly strand of hair to disinguish him apart from his sibling, Ipin. Ipin loves his brother and will always give his wholehearted support by saying ‘Betul, betul, betul’. As in all comic characters, Upin & Ipin will forever remain 5 year-olds.

DANGER AT THE SHELTERConfidentiality compromised Written by Vivian Yap

3

coninued from previous page

Upin & Ipin are good ‘icons’ because they convey good moral values,

camaraderie and a simple lifestyle for children to emulate easily. Even

parents are taken in by these twins and their acts of friendliness.

The storylines of the animaion series are based on the background lives of the creators and the Malay ‘kampong’ community as a whole.

Life in the kampong is laid back, almost ideal, with no rat race, no

modern day ills and evils to influence them. A lot of parents and grandparents can relate to this environment and this is the heart-

string factor that has made Upin & Ipin loved and enjoyed.

Majalah Komik Upin & Ipin are not just comics. The ‘majalah’ or

magazine secion contains aricles of general interest for readers. Aricles range from current events, ips on health, good manners and aitude; care for the less fortunate; news about famous personali-ies or organisaions and compeiions for readers to paricipate and win prizes. Although the target audience is from 7 – 15, we find that grown-ups too read the publicaion.

Aricles from WAO contribute significantly to the value of contents in the magazine. I believe there are a lot of children suffering in silence, in fear or in shame who are caught in certain circumstances and they do not know what to do. These aricles probably give them the courage and allow them to seek help or speak up. There have been no direct feed backs to gauge this, but I believe some people

have benefited from the contents.

ELECTRONIC GADGETS

There is no denying that these gadgets and devices are the norm these

days. Kids are ‘cool’ with the device as part of their appendages and

there is no life without it.

Parents should help to limit the ‘bonding ime’ of kids with gadget. It seems that they are totally engrossed in the gadget and have no ime or regard for anything, anyone even family members anymore. It is sad

because personal communicaion is reduced to ‘hi’ and ‘bye’. Spelling skills and grammar deteriorate. Maybe of the few good things they gain

are slim and agile thumbs!

I grew up in a different era. Probably ‘Ice age’ to todays’ kids. The main difference is that kids then have a lot more understanding of culture, respect and good values. Then we did not have access to worldwide

communicaion and learned, believed and obeyed what our parents and teachers told and taught us. A few dared to quesion the elders and may get as much as a stare for an answer, so we looked for answers in the

libraries.

I hope our children today get to sample and enjoy life without being ied to gadgets, without the influence of social media and unverified sources of informaion. I hope they go into sports and recreaion and socialise more.

Learn the values of integrated friendship, not viral friends. Do physical exercises, not just play

computer games.

We are a muli-naional country and our ethnic cultural pracices have created internaional interest from people around the world. We are unique and should be proud of our heritage.

4

As I clear up my desk, cabinets and shelves containing stuff accumulated

over 17 years as Executive Director, I am reminded of so many events in

our herstory. Indulge me please as I remember, my random memories.

In the 80s, we actually had a gardening group for volunteers, staff and

residents’ retreats in Port Dickson, the first national research on

domestic violence, the inception of the Anak Angkat programme, finding a

house to be made a home for the Child Care Centre, our first million

dollar pledge, the raid by Immigration of our Refuge premises, a WAO

column in the Sunday Mail, a constitutional amendment to include gender,

16 days of performances at the LRT stations, our first TV and Radio

advertisements, full page colour advertisement on domestic violence in

two dailies, Body Shop ventures, the JAG demonstration to urge government

to implement the Domestic Violence Act, our first interim protection

order for Letchumi in Sungai Buloh, a creation of the WAO website by a

friend living in Ipoh, the opening of the 3rd Centre, salary cuts during

a lean time, immense public support during that lean time, a Fun Fair -

Pesta WAO, Aiyoh Wat Lah!

The Journey of a Feministby Ivy Josiah

I am so grateful to WAO for taking me

on this journey, a feminist journey

that taught me about a woman's pain

and resolve to fight back. I am

humbled by the courage of women to

right the wrongs. Thank you my

fabulous sistahs, I have been both

supported and elevated joyously by

my colleagues within WAO and among

women's groups in the JAG circle.

A journey that has taken me all over Malaysia including the deep jungles of

Sarawak to meet Penan communities to unravel rape of Penan women, I have

travelled to over 20 countries to learn and teach about women's human rights.

I have fostered friendships all across Asia Pacific and Europe that only

women know how to enjoy and celebrate. Yes, there is a secret sisterhood.

Dancing at the P

esta WAO! Good t

imes!

5

I have been arrested, presented awards, berated during government meetings

and even in the press (but sometimes praised by ministers!), referred to

as "dial a quote" by the media, appointed into the Royal Commission on the

Police and been chased by the police in a tear gas frenzy. Loved every

moment.

When I first walked into the Refuge as a volunteer in 1982 there was no

turning back. I was home, I found my passion. Thank you to the numerous

members, staff, residents, volunteers and children for generously taking

me on this journey. Apologies must be offered too for being hard headed

at times.

This is not a cliché, it is not a good bye but a thank you from the bottom

of my heart bursting with pride, for making me a better woman and a kick

ass activist!

Much love,

Ivy

continued from previous page

That’s me in a

baju kurung r

eceiving WAO’s

first van fro

m

Inner Wheel Cl

ub of Kuala Lu

mpur in the 90

’s.

16 Days of Activism

Written by Kristine Yap

6

Every 1 in 3 women throughout the world will experience physical and/or sexual violence by a partner or

sexual violence by a non-partner, according to the World Health Organisaion.

As an NGO commited to ending violence against women, WAO has been an acive paricipant in the annual, internaional 16 Days of Acivism Against Gender-Based Violence Campaign for many years.

Several other key dates during 16 Days:

Feminist Resistance: The Mirabal Sisters & Nov 25

Nov 25 was declared Internaional Day for the Eliminaion of Violence against Women to commemorate the brutal assassinaion of the Mirabal sisters -- Minerva, Patria and Maria Teresa -- who were prominent symbols of resistance to the dictatorial regime of the Dominican Republic in 1960.

25 Nov

The Montreal Massacre

On this date in 1989, a 25-year-old man walked into the University of Montreal’s engineering department and began a shooing spree, killing 14 women and wounding 13 others. He believed it was because of women students that he was not accepted into the school; leaving a leter behind which detailed his hatred for feminists, as well as a list of 19 prominent women he paricularly despised. Today it is the Day of Remembrance and Acion on Violence Against Women in Canada and several mothers of the vicims have begun groups to restrict gun laws and promote awareness on violence against women.

6 Dec

29 Nov

Internaional Women Human Rights Defenders DayDefending human rights is never an easy task, however women fighing for human rights and acivists defending women’s human rights (WHR) face a specific kind of violaion because of their gender and advocacy. This day recognises these WHR defenders, the impact of state and non-state actors, and the ways in which defenders are targeted because of sexuality.

What’s WAO doing this year? Throughout 16 Days, we are highlighing one unique staisic a day related to gender-based violence, and we want you to come on board by declaring there is no excuse for abuse. To kick-

start the campaign, we’re featuring several icons to endorse our message, ranging from longime household names to fresh, upcoming faces. We hope our message will be carried through not only the 16 days of the campaign, but also beyond and well ater that.

Why 16 Days?

The dates of the campaign are symbolic. The first of the 16 days (November 25) is the Internaional Day for the Eliminaion of Violence against Women, and the last day (December 10) is Human Rights Day, thus emphasising that violence against women is a violaion of human rights.

DANGER AT THE SHELTERConfidentiality compromised Written by Vivian Yap

7

Refuge is a place where you seek shelter and are away from danger.

You can call it a home or a safe house but the definiion of the Refuge will sill be the same.

As I walked into the Refuge, I could hear children’s footsteps

running to greet me. The women are seated in the living hall having

deep conversaions. A few others busy in the kitchen. Some of them smiled at me, having seen me before.

I sat down and spoke to my colleague, Sally Wangsawijaya. She is a social worker. I asked her what’s a typical day for her at the Refuge.

“It is unpredictable. It is unexpected. You might have plans but there will be other issues that need your

urgent atenion. You will need to be with the client when she obtains her protecion order or get medi-cal atenion. There will be days when you don’t even get to step out because you are handling counsel-ling calls. Then, there is also house issues. The Refuge must be idy and organised. You atend meeings and speak to the media or give talks at schools. There is a combinaion of things going on at the same ime”, said Sally.

Then, someimes you get an unpleasant and abrupt shock when you see someone unfamiliar and unin-

vited at the gate. Perpetrators who are adamant to find their wife or partner or employee. They refuse to budge and they won’t accept no as an answer. They demand and threaten staff and residents to let them in. Some turned up with the police which to us, is unacceptable.

“This is a place where women seek protecion. It is a safe house! We always remind the residents, and ourselves, to be vigilant", Sally coninued.

“Bearing that in mind, the

role of the police in a

domesic violence situaion is not too different from ours, which is to protect

the safety of the vicim-

survivor.”

Back in my office, I read the Leter to the Editor writen by Krisine Yap, WAO’s Advocacy (Communicaions) Officer. It says “Being responsible for enforcing laws and protecion services, the primary duty of PDRM (Polis Diraja Malaysia) is to ensure safety for all. Bearing that in mind, the role of

the police in a domesic violence situaion is not too differ-

ent from ours, which is to protect the safety of the vicim-

survivor. Taking that into account, the police should not

reveal the classified address of the shelter to anyone, especially not to the perpetrator”.

You can read the leter on the next page.

There were many success stories where we had assistance from the police during a crisis. So, let’s remind ourselves why we are here doing this work in the first place. It is to ensure the safety of people who needs help and protecion.

Letter to the Editor: Working together, not against each other in ending domestic violence

Written by Kristine Yap

8

The Women’s Aid Organisaion (WAO) shelter was established in 1982 when we opened our doors to a woman who let her husband, taking her two children with her. Since seing up the shelter 32 years ago, the Polis Di-Raja Malaysia’s (PDRM) role has been absolutely crucial and necessary in our services. The police help to protect women in crisis, rescue them from high-risk situaions, and they even escort the women to retrieve their belongings ater they leave the abusive partner, which is one of the most dangerous imes for the vicim-survivor.

Having said that, the role of a safe house and shelter is no less important than that of the police. It is not only a space for counseling; it is where a safe, supporive environment is provided, where women can rebuild and regain control of their lives. Most perinently, the funcion of a shelter and safe house is to provide physical and psychological safety to a person or family experiencing domesic violence.

Reflecing on WAO’s experience with the police at our shelter and safe house, our relaionship has not been short of challenges. As recent as last month, three police officers brought the husband of an abused wife to our safe house, demanding they do a search for the wife. This was because one of the estranged couple’s children was ill; a child that the husband was caring for as he had chased his wife out of the house and she could not take her children with her. Incidentally, the wife had made a police report when she was abused and chased out.

Being responsible for enforcing laws and protecion services, the primary duty of PDRM is to ensure safety for all. Bearing that in mind, the role of the police in a domesic violence situaion is not too different from ours, which is to protect the safety of the vicim-survivor. Taking that into account, the police should not reveal the classified address of the shelter to anyone, especially not to the perpetrator.

Bringing the abusive husband to the shelter compromises the safety and confideniality of WAO’s shelter, potenially risking the lives of women and children who seek refuge here. On top of that, the police should not turn up at the shelter with the perpetrator, aggressively demanding the staff and residents to let them in.

In such a situaion, whereby a missing person has been reported, the police ought to first find out whether the husband has a report made against him too. If the police officer needs to confirm whether the missing person is safe, they should noify a social worker to meet them at the police staion first instead of turning up at the shelter unannounced, causing distress. Addiionally, if the perpetrator and/or his family members start to create a scene at the shelter gate, verbally abusing the staff and residents, we hope police officers will take acion to remove these intruders.

“Bringing the abusive husband to theshelter compromises the safety andconfideniality of WAO’s shelter,potenially risking the lives of women and children who seek refuge here”

continued from previous page

Working together, not against each other in endingdomestic violence

9

Being the naion’s largest service provider for domesic violence survivors, WAO’s priority is to ensure our clients’ safety, confideniality, and to provide a safe haven for the vicim-survivors of abuse. However, this is not something we can atain by ourselves. As a mater of rouine, WAO noifies the police of these incidents, also requesing for meeings at the Bukit Aman Police Headquarters, as we believe that face-to-face dialogue is the best way forward to improve our relaions.

We know from past experience that the police has fulfilled their duty to protect. There have been many occasions where we called upon police intervenion at our shelter gates and immediate assistance was provided. In our coninued efforts to eliminate domesic violence in Malaysia, WAO will coninue to improve communicaion and ies with the police through bilateral engagements to strengthen our partnership.

Women’s Aid Organisaion (WAO) provides provides social work and counseling services for domesic violence survivors and advocates for women’s human rights. Call our counselling line at 03 7956 3488 or SMS TINA at 018 988 8058 if you or someone you know is experiencing abuse. Together, we change lives.

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President

Mok Chuang Lian

Vice President

Vivienne Lee

Secretary

Chin Oy Sim

Asst Secretary

Tashia Peterson

Treasurer

Carol Chin

Assistant Treasurer

Puveshini Rao

Committee Members

Yeow Ai Lin

Meera Samanther

Shoba Aiyar

Executive Director

Ivy Josiah

Sumitra Visvanathan

(w.e.f. 22 December 2014)

Admin & Account Assistant

Divvyananthini Manoharan

Administrator

Vashani Perimbanayagam

Projects Executive

Vivian Yap

Advocacy Officers

Siti Hazwani Hanim

Kristine Yap (Communications)

Yu Ren Chung

Social Work Manager

Wong Su Zane

Social Workers

Jessie Ang

Nazlina Abd Ghani

Umadevi Rajah Denram

Ermawati Ahmad Sanusi

Yogasri Sivanyanam

Sally Wangsawijaya

CCC Child Minders

Saraswathy

Sasikala

Paruwathi

Amy Hor

CCC Social Worker

Firkah Jenal

WHO IS WHO IN WAO