Shades of Blue tattoo show folds after 20 years, but tat lovers aren't the only one's hurting

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PLUS: ALMOST, MAINE • PAGE 6 | 'COUNTDOWN' WITH MAJAK'S MIXTAPE • PAGE 7 | HOPSLAM, HUZZAH! • PAGE 9

T.U.G.G. kicks off our new local music feature

INSIDE...

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Inked Out

VOLUME 11, NO. 2 | JANUARY 27, 2011La Crosse's Free Press

2// January 207 2011 Second Supper

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Things we want you to know: Two-year agreements (subject to early termination fees) required for new customers and current customers not on a Belief Plan. Current customers may change to a Belief Plan without a new agreement. Agreement terms apply as long as you are a customer. $30 activation fee and credit approval may apply. Regulatory Cost Recovery Fee applies; this is not a tax or government-required charge. Additional fees, taxes and terms apply and vary by service and equipment. Promotional phone subject to change. U.S. Cellular Visa Debit Cards issued by MetaBank pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. Allow 10–12 weeks for processing. Card does not have cash access and can be used at any merchant location that accepts Visa debit cards. Card valid for 120 days after issued. Smartphone Data Plans start at $30 per month or are included with certain Belief Plans. Application and data network usage charges may apply when accessing applications. BOGO: Mail-in rebate and activation required on each handset. Service credit requires new two-year agreement and Smartphone purchase. $100 credit will be applied to your account in $50 increments over two billing periods. Credits will start within 60 days after activation. Account must remain active in order to receive credit. No cash value. Kansas Customers: In areas in which U.S. Cellular receives support from the Federal Universal Service Fund, all reasonable requests for service must be met. Unresolved questions concerning services availability can be directed to the Kansas Corporation Commission Office of Public Affairs and Consumer Protection at 1-800-662-0027. Android and the Android Robot are trademarks of Google, Inc. Trademarks and trade names are the property of their respective owners. Other restrictions apply. See store or uscellular.com/project for details. Limited-time offer. ©2011 U.S. Cellular.

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Second Supper January 27, 2011 // 3

Eat Onalaska Soothe your stomach this Saturday at the “Taste of Onalaska” community event and fundraiser from 6-11 p.m. at the Stoney Creek

Inn in Onalaska. Food, entertainment, raffle prizes and silent auction items will be avail-able as this annual event hopes to bring the community together while increasing finan-cial support for all of the programs and grants distributed to Onalaska school programs, both public and private. Food will be served from

6-8 p.m. Tickets cost $25 and can be purchased at the Center for Com-merce and Tourism on Main Street in Onalaska, Miller Quik Print on Highway 35 in Onalaska or by contacting Lauri Berg at 783-1743.

Is that Bill Shakespeare over there? You’ve probably read a William Shakespeare play before, but we bet you’ve never done anything like the Bardathon (unless, of course, you did it last year). Founded by the Fair-

banks Shakespeare Theatre, the Bardathon is a free public reading of all the plays in the Riverside Second Edition Complete Works of William Shakespeare. That’s a lot of Shakespeare — 24 hours a day for 8 days in a row, to be exact. The commu-nity readings will all be held at the Muse

Theatre at 1353 Avon St., beginning Saturday at noon. A new play will be read every four hours, starting with Twelfth Night and finishing eight days later with MacBeth. That’s 45 plays, for those of you scoring at home, so you’ll have plenty of op-portunities to read and just sit back and enjoy the language.

TheTop

FIRST THINGS FIRSTThings To Do

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Strained places1. Tunisia2. Jay Cutler’s MCL3. Egypt4. Harter family dinners5. Rahm Emanuel’s house6. Sudan 7. Michele Bachmann’s face

Future IPAs1. Hopular Mechanics2. Phantom of the Hopera3. Hop Goes the Weasel4. Hoptical Illusion5. Hop, Drop & Roll6. J. Robert Hoppenheimer7. Hoppocratic Oath

Spread diversity Gain some crucial knowledge at the Diversity Dialogues, February 2 from 9:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. on the UW-L campus. The overall goal is to get campus and community members to dia-

logue about different aspects of diver-sity as part of the Inclusive Excellence initiative. The event encourages the Uni-versity community to showcase some of the outstanding work being done on campus with respect to diversity. Events will include poster displays and presen-

tations, along with office and group diversity displays. Events are all free and open to the public. A resource room will be available in Port O’ Call and presentations will run in Valhalla. For more information head to www.uwlax.edu/general/diversity.

5

Give to the GALAXY The LGBT Resource Center of the Seven Rivers Resources andGALAXY are hosting “For the Love of Art,” a benefit art auction featuring local artists and creations from GALAXY youth, on February 4 at the Concordia Ballroom, from 5:30-9:30 p.m. The evening will include a social hour with live harp music, appetizers, silent auction, and more. Tickets are $10, and artists who donate their work will receive a FREE ticket. For more information, please call Rosanne St. Sauver at 784-0452 or visit www.7riverslgbt.org

U-Ra-Ra, La Crosse! Show your hometown pride by participating in the Reader’s Di-gest promotion of "We Hear You America" where people can go on to the esteemed magazine’s website and CHEER for their town. The winning community will receive a $5 million facelift, and you could win a great American Family Road Trip in a snazzy new car! It's easy to CHEER for La Crosse! Just go to the website below and follow the instructions. Gooooooooooooo, La Crosse! http://wehearyouamerica.readersdigest.com/

3

4// January 207 2011 Second SupperCOMMUNITY

WHAT IS YOUR GUILTIEST PLEASURE? Z93

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? When people say like and legit all the time!

TELL US A JOKE:What do you call a nun out wandering around? A Roman Catholic

WHAT'S THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? Coffee

WHAT'S IN YOUR POCKET RIGHT NOW?: Not a thing

IF A GENIE GRANTED YOU ONE WISH, WHAT WOULD YOU ASK FOR? For everyday to be Christmas!

FIRST CONCERT YOU WENT TO: Josh Groban

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PART OF SECOND SUPPER? The top 7

HOW DO YOU KNOW GAIA (LAST WEEK'S INTERVIEW? She's having my baby.

— Compiled by Shuggypop Jackson,shuggypop.jackson@secondsupper.com

NAME AND AGE: Katelyn Hope Rubenzer, 22

WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Chippewa Falls, WI

CURRENT JOB: Program Aid at FCC

DREAM JOB: Writer

LAST THING YOU GOOGLED: Train Tickets for Chicago

IF YOU COULD LIVE ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, WHERE WOULD IT BE? Greece

WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE: Be fluent in three languages

WHAT IS YOUR BEVERAGE OF CHOICE? Chocolate milk

CELEBRITY CRUSH: Edward Norton

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? The Harry Potter series

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Second Supper January 27, 2011 // 5COMMUNITY

By Emily Faethemily.faeth@secondsupper.com

When Maggie Bambanek went to the Shades of Blue Tattoo Show several years ago, she came looking for price quotes on exactly the tattoo she wanted. Or so she thought. “I had a bar of soap with Celtic heart on it, and I wanted exactly that: black outline, green fill, nothing in the negative space,” says Bambanek, a student at Winona State University. “I asked several vendors at the show, ‘how much for this in green with a black outline?’ And most of them responded with 'That depends on how nice you want it to look.'” While she initially found the artists' vague responses rude, Bambanek later real-ized she simply wasn't asking the right ques-tions. “Maybe if I had come off as less of a yuppie, or been less fixated on my choice of art, I could have had something truly origi-nal. But because the people that I talked to there seemed so rude to me at the time, I never went back for another show.” But Bambanek won't have the opportu-nity to explore the wide variety of offerings typically available at the Shades of Blue Tat-too Show, which had long been scheduled at the La Crosse Center on the final weekend in January. Show organizers wouldn’t re-spond to repeated interview requests, which leave ink lovers wondering why one of the largest tattoo shows in the Midwest would dry up after a 20-year run. While many speculate that increased city fees struck the fatal blow to this year's show, “I think it was a combination of things, to tell you the truth,” says La Crosse Center director Art Fahey. “Licensing...played into what they wanted. We've softened up a lot to try to get them through this year, and I think the advanced registration for the ven-dors was softened, but they just couldn't put it together.” A representative in the La Crosse city clerk’s office could not confirm any licens-ing or fee increases imposed for this year’s

Shades of Blue, although that was the initial chatter when the story first hit the local tat-too community. “The past few years, artists have been shying away from this show because of seem-ingly random increasing licensing fees from the city and decreasing business in general,” says Karl Schneider, a tattoo artist at Cactus Tattoo in Mankato, Minn. “It's turned into a fight just to break even, thus making it rath-er pointless for artists to gamble on working this convention. To do a convention artists need to pay booth fees, city licensing fees, plus travel and hotel. What's the point if breaking even is barely even an option?” This does not, of course, imply that Shades of Blue was not responsible for Cen-ter, city, or state fees. However, Robin “Boo-gie” and Marla Hanson, founders and orga-nizers for Shades of Blue, were not available for comment regarding their decision to cancel the event after 20 years in La Crosse. The effects of the event's cancellation will certainly be felt outside the walls of the La Crosse Center, says Steve Harm, owner of the Warehouse Nightclub and the Vatican PX clothing store. “The loss of Shades of Blue this year has had a considerable effect on our cloth-ing store, the VPX, which always played a big part in the show,” he says, referring to VPX's annual fashion show at the event. To compensate for the lost business, Harm relocated VPX from its second-floor confines near the music club to the Pearl Street locale formerly occupied by the Scien-tific College of Beauty. “The street level gives us more visibility, allows us to be open even when there is no show at the Warehouse, and is helping to sell some of the additional wares that we stocked up on for the tat show weekend,” Harm said. “It is but a drop in the bucket of the traffic we would normally have had during the Tat-too Show weekend at the Center.” “No tattoo show means a financial hit for hundreds of people and dozens of local businesses."

Inked OutTattoo show dries up, along with local business

There is a ray of hope for cash-strapped groups and organizations wanting to hold an event in downtown La Crosse: Downtown Mainstreet, Inc.'s Promotions Committee has unveiled a pilot program to encourage downtown events that benefit city businesses, residents, workers, and visitors. Tim Kabat, executive director of DMI, says that the project is a spin-off of the sup-port DMI has provided to the Rotary Lights for the past two years. While DMI still plans to offer its support to the Lights, Kabat says the Promotions Committee wanted to spread the word about the availability of funds to other groups, as well. “The fall fashion show last year was a fundraiser that was specifically intended to

raise money for promotions,” Kabat said. “So this is just one of the ways to offer mini-grants, if you will” for groups interested in holding events downtown. The criteria for applying for a grant, which will total $1,000, is loose: Interested parties must demonstrate how their event would benefit downtown La Crosse. “I think it's a great idea [on the part of] the Promotions Committee, so hopefully we'll be able to help out a few groups this year with some cool events,” said Kabat. For more information, or to apply, visit www.lacrossedowntown.com. The deadline for applications is Tuesday, Feb. 1.

— Emily Faeth

Have your own idea for a downtown draw?

6// January 207 2011 Second SupperARTS

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Nothing adds a little warmth during the chill of winter quite like some whimsy, and La Crosse Com-munity Theatre’s upcoming production “Almost, Maine” has plenty to spare. We recently sat down with LCT artistic director Greg Parmeter to chat about the show, the theatre season thus far and the films he’d be surprised would ever be considered a classic.

Second Supper: So for people who don’t know anything about the show, explain a little bit about “Almost, Maine.”Greg Parmeter: It’s a romantic comedy about people in an itty bitty town in Maine. It’s a series of vignettes, all played by four people [Stacy Bruemmer, Tim Harris, Kelley Manson and Dan Radtke].

SS: With a show like this, with no real overall plot arc, does that provide a challenge to keep audiences invested?

By Jonathan Majakjonathan.majak@secondsupper.com

with Greg Parmeter, La Crosse Community Theatre's artistic director, regarding the upcoming performances of Almost, Maine6Q

GP: It’s a definite challenge but each scenes has its own arcs, with beginnings, middles and ends. Though you only see each character once, the actors create an affinity as they play these different characters.

SS: With a show with four actors taking on a mul-titude of roles, how do you work with them so that the characters don’t overlap in portrayals?GP: The real challenge with this show is that there aren’t a bunch of over-the-top charac-ters, where you can do funny voices and ste-reotypes with them. With this, you do little changes like the way they walk and stuff like that. We’re putting faith in the subtlety of what the actors can handle.

SS: Switching gears for a second, now that you’re mid-way through the 2010-2011 season, how do you feel things are going?GP: It’s going as good as I could have ever hoped. Everything is progressing well. We’ve maintained a level of quality with the shows.

SS: What has been some of the biggest challenges so far this season?GP: Every play is a challenge. Each show of-fers a challenge. You look back at “West Side

Story” and figure out how to fit all of the set and actors on stage and let people be able to dance. You go and find creative solutions. Finding them is why we do the things we do.

SS: Lastly, “Almost, Maine” initially flopped in its first run in New York City but found life across the country in local theatre and high school pro-ductions. “It’s a Wonderful Life,” which you did a version of, also famously took a drubbing from the critics before being considered the classic it is today. On that note, what’s a film that you’d be shocked to see suddenly gain critical respect in the future?GP: I would be flabbergasted, FLABBER-GASTED, if “White Chicks” or “Dude, Where’s My Car?” are in 10, 15 years are con-sidered great American films of comedy.

“Almost, Maine” opens Friday Jan. 28 at the La Crosse Community Theatre and runs until Feb. 13. Adult tickets are $22, Student and Military $10 (Thursday and Sunday), Student Rush tickets $10. Shows are 7:30 pm Thursdays, Fridays & Satur-days and 2 p.m. Sundays. For box office info: 784-9292 ext. 2 for tickets.

614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601

Phone: (608) 782-7001Online: secondsupper.com

Publisher: Roger Bartelroger.bartel@secondsupper.com

Editor in Chief: Adam Bissen adam.bissen@secondsupper.com

Student Editor: Emily Faeth emily.faeth@secondsupper.com

Sales: Mike Keithmike.keith@secondsupper.com

Sales: Michael Butterismichael.butteris@secondsupper.com

Regular Contributors: Amy Alkon, Erich Boldt, Nick Cabreza,

Mary Catanese, Jason Crider, Ashly Conrad,Brett Emerson, Jake Groteuschen,

Shuggypop Jackson, Jonathan Majak, Matt Jones, Briana Rupel, Julie Schneider,

Stephanie Schultz, Nate Willer

Second Supper is a weekly alternative newspaper published by

Bartanese Enterprises LLC, 614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601

Letters are encouraged and can be sent toeditor@secondsupper.com.

Second Supper January 27, 2011 // 7MUSIC

The Majak MixtapeBy Jonathan Majakjonathan.majak@secondsupper.com

Oh Keith Olbermann, you’re not really good with keeping your job on cable net-works are you? The former ESPN “SportsCen-ter” and Fox Sports Net anchor can now add former MSNBC personality to his resume as he and the “Lean Forward” network have decided to lean away from each other and part ways, ending Olbermann’s run as a fix-ture of the network’s primetime lineup with his shout-fest “Countdown with Keith Ol-bermann.” The world of pundits were all in a kerfuffle about this as everybody tried to find the culprit for the ouster of Olbermann, with people blaming everything from Keith’s notorious prickliness to the upcoming pur-chase of NBC by Comcast as everybody from Stephen Colbert to Glen Beck weighed in on Olbermann’s departure. Olbermann, for his part, has remained uncharacteristically silent on the matter, having most likely signed a similar type of exit contract as fellow former NBC employee Conan O’Brien. As the silver-haired voice righteous indignation plots his next move, we have put together a mixtape to help him get through this crazy time. We kick off the mixtape with a track from quirky Canadian band (which seeing that typed seems redundant as Canadian is almost always synonymous with quirky) Destroyer and their track “Kaputt” [sic] off

their new album also titled “Kaputt” because, well, Olbermann’s show is just that: kaput. The last show went the same as always until about the last or so commercial break when Olbermann suddenly let it be known that it was his last show before detailing how he at least got more time on this than when he was told it was his last show in his ear piece while on ESPN. Corporate people have never had to worry about accusations about being warm and fuzzy for a reason. What’s that sound of celebration? That’s pretty much all of Fox News popping cham-pagne bottles and toasting to Keith’s leaving, which leads to our next song, “Glad Man Singing” from Iron and Wine’s new album “Kiss Each Other Clean.” We’re pretty sure that Glen Beck was shaking, crying, scrib-bling hearts onto a chalkboard when Olber-mann announced he was leaving MSNBC, as Fox News has been locked into a feud with Olbermann since the start of “Countdown.” We don’t know what Olbermann will do next. And we’re pretty he doesn’t either. But, in the words of Amos Lee’s song off his new album “Mission Bell,” we’re sure Olbermann has “Learned a Lot” from the whole experi-ence. We’re sure after his NO TV part of his exit deal expires, Olbermann will be back on TV, raging away. And we’ll be there watch-ing. With the volume turned down low.

Buy: Corinne Bailey Rae’s “The Love EP” YouTube: The new She&Him music video “Don’t Look Back” Read: Vacay Wave http://www.vacayvi-tamins.com/ As always we wish you love, peace and downloads!Get your daily uncensored dose of the Majak Mix-tape every day on The Majak Kingdom blog www.majakkingdom.blogspot.com

When Rhodes Scholar and military veteran Wes Moore learned of the arrest of another man who shared his name and was from his city, imprisoned for his role in a robbery and the murder of a police offi-cer, he decided to get in touch with him. His goal was to discover what led each person, both of whom grew up without fathers and in less than ideal environments, down their separate paths. The Other Wes Moore is a combination of what he learned from this re-lationship and of his own experiences which led him to that point. What presents itself as a “there but for the grace of God go I” story is a book equally focused upon the decline of black culture in post-civil rights America, and this ends up

Medium: LiteratureStimulus: Wes Moore — The Other Wes Moore: One Name and Two FatesAnno: 2010

What do you think?

Send us a Letter to the Editor.

editor@secondsupper.com

I don’t particularly care for reggae. I mean I like it; I’m just not in love with it. I enjoy listening to it if someone puts it on, but I will hardly ever play it on my own. To me, reggae seems to be a genre of music that exists mostly as a backdrop of a subculture, and not necessarily as a challenging form of artistic expression. I’m not exactly sure why I don’t care for it. Maybe it’s because I like it when guitarists use more than one type of distortion. Maybe it’s be-cause I like listening to drum-mers that sound like they’re bored with the same 4/4 beat they’ve been forced to play on loop. Maybe it’s because I don’t smoke pot. It’s prob-ably because I don’t smoke pot. So there: although I am admittedly quite biased (and probably a bit of an asshole), I have laid it all out on the table. I don’t like reg-gae. I do, however, like T.U.G.G. This isn’t because saying otherwise in La Crosse is as good as a death sentence, it’s because the band doesn’t fall into any of the slumps that I’ve just list-ed, slumps that a majority of reggae/rock acts spend their entire careers in. T.U.G.G.’s newest album, Come Sunrise…, is no excep-tion, and it shows the band pushing itself in both interesting and exciting new directions. While songs like “Wrong Dub” and “To Get Through” show the band rocking out in classic T.U.G.G. fashion, songs like “Straight Home/Wednesday Night Jesse,” with its Pe-ter Frampton-style guitar work, showcase the

group’s true innovation and technical ability. The album also has two quite engag-ing instrumental tracks: “Surfin 160,” a song that would fit perfectly on a mix CD along-side the Surfari’s classic hit “Wipeout,” and possibly my favorite track on the album, “Tacos with Dio,” which shows some inter-esting progressive elements before erupting midway into a beautiful saxophone solo. The latter song also has a pretty sweet reprise in the form of a hidden track at the end of the album (along with more of that amazing saxophone work). Overall, the album has a classic feel-good mentality that stems from its simply contagious charm and catchiness. Part of this charm comes from the natu-ral voice and creative storytelling featured in

lead singer and rhythm gui-tarist Andy “Wordz” Hughes’ lyrics. For example, “Smile,” with its ukulele and organ driven melody, features Hughes singing “point that chin straight at the sky/let the world see that beautiful smile,” in a way that should be really corny and over the top. But it’s not. In fact it’s so happy and sunshiny and upbeat that I almost forgot it

was the middle of winter. I love the irony of a reg-gae band singing songs like this in Wisconsin.

So I’m about done with this review, and the album’s play count is at 18 on my computer. Was that really necessary, or am I starting to like reggae after all? T.U.G.G. will be headlining at the 2011 Snow-flakes and Sunshine Social at Howie’s on Jan. 29 to celebrate their return from an extensive winter tour through Colorado. The band will be play-ing alongside Minnesota reggae/rock groups Jon Wayne and the Pain and The Gypsy Lumberjacks. Doors open at 8 p.m.; music starts at 9 p.m. Tick-ets are $5 at the door.

By Jason Criderjason.crider@secondsupper.com

T.U.G.G. — Come Sunrise

being the most interesting aspect of the tale. In describing the lives of both Wes Moores as they grow up amidst the urban chaos, the author discusses the devastation which drugs, and especially the advent of crack, have wrought upon black neighborhoods. This is the point of divergence between the author and the convict; while the former is forced into military school, where he discov-ers discipline and self-reliance, the latter em-braces the drug dealing lifestyle of his older brother at a very early age, and he never has a chance. While this dual biography adequately accounts for the lives of both Wes Moores, what I found lacking in the book is the inter-action between the two. The bond between Wes Moore the author and Wes Moore the convict is discussed in very faint terms, pre-sented as quick interludes between their sep-arate stories. Was the connection between the two men presented and explored more thoroughly, the book would have better ful-filled its premise. Instead, The Other Wes Moore plays out as little more than a double feature biography. The author certainly puts in his work, but there’s something missing.

— Brett Emerson

8// January 207 2011 Second SupperMUSIC

LUCINDA WILLIAMS // FEB. 23Turner Hall • $35

MERLE HAGGARD, KRIS KRISTOFFERSON // MAR. 2-3Northern Lights Theater • $55-$75

ICE CUBE // MARCH 12Eagle’s Ballroom • $26.50

YANNI // MARCH 24Milwaukee Theatre • $35-$75

INSANE CLOWN POSSE // MARCH 25Eagle’s Ballroom • $25

BRIGHT EYES // APRIL 3Riverside Theatre • $25

just a roadie awaymusic directory // January 28 to February 3

FRIDAY,

BROTHERS // 306 Pearl St.Pulse 8 (hard rock) • 9:30 p.m.

FISH'S BAR // 612 Caledonia St.Joe Cody & Jim 'Fish' (acoustic) • 8 p.m.

FREIGHT HOUSE // 107 Vine St.Dan Sebranek (folk) • 6 p.m.

JB'SSPEAKEASY // 717 Rose St.Moonboot Posse, Droids Attack (rock, psychedelic. metal) • 10 p.m.

LA CROSSE CENTER // 300 S. Second St.Blake Shelton, Easton Corbin, Steel Magnolia (country) • 7:30 p.m.

PEARL STREET BREWERY // 1401 St. Andrew St.Kin Pickin (jam grass) • 5 p.m.

PIGGY'S BLUES LOUNGE // 501 Front St. S.Costello and Hipps (folk pop) • 8 p.m.

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St.The Bourbon Brothers (blues) • 10 p.m.

THE JOINT // 324 Jay St.New Blues Crew (rock) • 10 p.m.

THE ROOT NOTE // 114 4th St. S.Kazyak (folk, psychedelic) • 8:30 p.m.

THE WATERFRONT TAVERN // 328 Front St.Kies & Kompanie (jazz) • 8 p.m.

January 28

SATURDAY,

4 SISTERS // 100 Harborview PlazaThe Journeymen (folk) • 7:30 p.m.

CHUCK'S // 1101 La Crosse St.Highway 16 (rock/country) • 8 p.m.

FREIGHT HOUSE // 107 Vine St.Dan Sebranek (folk) • 7:30 p.m.

HOWIE'S // 1125 La Crosse St.T.U.G.G., Jon Wayne and the Pain and Gypsy Lumberjacks (Snowflakes and Sunshine Social) • 9 p.m.

January 29THURSDAY,

DEL’S BAR // 229 Third St.Luke & Cheech (blues rock) • 10 p.m.

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St.Paulie (one-man band) • 10 p.m.

THE ROOT NOTE // 114 4th St. S.Open Mic Night • 8 p.m.

THE STARLITE LOUNGE // 222 Pearl St.Kies and Kompanie (jazz) • 5 p.m.

February 3

We try hard to be descriptive in this little square, but sometimes the club owners just say it best. Regarding Friday night’s show at JB’s Speakeasy, a rocking double bill featuring Moon Boot Posse and Droids Attack, the esteemed JB passed along this review: “A tasty swirl of music that's so awesome, and sooo incredibly intense it will make you vomit where you stand (if you don't shit your pants first!)!!!” Sounds like a fun night to us! Local rockers Moon Boot Posse always comes to play, but Madison’s Droids Attack (pictured) are the real deuce-inducers. Dredging up the low end of stoner rock, Droids Attack have earned accolades from the hard rock press and showcase gigs around the country, but they were born to bleed eardrums in clubs. Don’t forget your tissues.

SUNDAY,

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St.Funktion (funk) • 10 p.m.

THE ROOT NOTE // 114 4th St. S.Michael Kac (Sunday Over Easy) • Noon

January 30 WEDNESDAY,

DEL’S BAR // 229 Third St.Nick Shattuck (pop rock) • 10 p.m.

LA CROSSE CENTER // 300 S. Second St.Avenged Sevenfold, Stone Sour, Hol-lywood Undead (hard rock) • 6:30 p.m.

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St.Paulie (one-man band) • 10 p.m.

RECOVERY ROOM // 901 7th St. S.Kin Pickin' (open jam) • 10 p.m.

February 2

MONDAY,

DEL’S BAR // 229 Third St.Open Jam • 10 p.m.

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St.Shawn's Open jam • 10 p.m.

January 31

TUESDAY,

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St.Dave Orr (open jam) • 10 p.m.

THE ROOT NOTE // 114 4th St. S.3rd Relation Jazz Trio (jazz) • 8:30 p.m.

THE WAREHOUSE // 324 Pearl St.The Heyday (pop rock) • 7 p.m.

February 1

Milwaukeepopulation 596,974

JB'SSPEAKEASY // 717 Rose St.Proto Melee, Lustrus Mud (rock) • 10 p.m.

JOHN'S BAR // 109 Third St. S.Sean P, Kalyst, Nate D, Father Focus, Area, Cat Robey, Northern Lightz, and Dj Cali (hip-hop) • 10:30 p.m.

NORTH SIDE OASIS // 620 Gillette St.Hallowed Ground (rock) • 9 p.m.

PIGGY'S BLUES LOUNGE // 501 Front St. S.Costello and Hipps (folk pop) • 8 p.m.

PUMP HOUSE // 119 King St.Rachael Davis (folk/jazz) • 7:30 p.m.

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St.Nicholas Mrozinski and the Feelin Band (“Alternative Soul-Folk”) • 10 p.m.

THE JOINT // 324 Jay St.Paxico (original rock, covers) • 10 p.m.

THE ROOT NOTE // 114 4th St. S.Angie Atkinson (alt-folk pop) • 8:30 p.m.

THE WATERFRONT TAVERN // 328 Front St.Swing, Inc. (jazz) • 8 p.m.

Second Supper January 27, 2011 // 9

HopslamBell’s BreweryKalamazoo, Michigan

The Beer Review

Over the past fortnight or so, beer lov-ers across America have perked up their taste buds, olfactory receptors and Internet hype as Bell’s Brewery rolled out its much anticipated Hopslam. I’m not going to lie: I was pretty caught up in the hoopla myself. Hopslam holds a lofty perch in the pantheon of American craft beers, and now that I’ve finally got another fresh, floral pint beside me, I’m more convinced than ever that this is my absolute favorite beer in the world. So you can understand how I was going

mad with envy as I read about my friends in Georgia, Pennsylvania and Chicago drink-ing the 2011 edition before I ever saw a single green label. Rumors filtered in that Bell’s tinkered with the bitterness and that demand was so great shipments were sell-ing out across the country. It’s now gotten to the point where Hopslam is more than just a beer. It’s an event, one that hit La Crosse last week and probably won’t last more than a month. By releasing possibly the finest Impe-rial IPA in the world, Bell’s has turned Janu-ary into feeding season for hopheads — so you better belly up now before we drink the town dry. Purchase: 6-pack of Bell’s Hopslam from Woodman’s, $12.99 Style: Imperial IPA

Strength: 10 percent ABV Packaging: The Hopslam comes wrapped in a particular shade of lime green that makes my mouth water whenever I see it. The label depicts a lucky man crushed by three giant hop nuggets. Appearance: More than any other im-perial IPA, the Hopslam is colored liquid gold with a thick white bubbly head that sticks to glass and doesn’t leave. Aroma: Heavenly. This is the most aro-matic beverage I’ve ever encountered with an intoxicating blend of honey, caramel, grapefruit and pineapple. I’d buy this for the smell alone. Women could wear it as per-fume, and I'd be powerless. Taste: Despite its potency, the Hopslam comes on light with kisses of honey and tof-

fee before the hop flavors gush all over the tongue. It’s resiny, but less bitter than I re-membered from previous years, though the aftertaste still puckers for hours. Mouthfeel: Oily, as if a metric ton of fresh hops were just squeezed into your glass. Drinkability: Dangerous! The Hopslam is 10 percent alcohol yet it literally goes down like candy. I feel like I could drink bottle af-ter bottle, which means the only thing saving my liver is my wallet. Ratings: With over 2,000 reviews, Beer-Advocate gives Hopslam an A, and RateBeer scores it a perfect 100. And why not — this beer is absolutely flawless. Top 10 in the world, no doubt.

— Adam Bissen

YOUR GUIDE TO CONSUMPTION

February 2

LOCATION SUNDAY MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAYARENA107 3rd St. S.782-1883, www.arenalax.com

Text "Arena" to 83361 for Specials Texas Hold 'Em Poker Pool and dart leagues Wyld Wednesday: $2 jumbo UV mixers, $2 Coronas

Ladies Night: Ladies drink free 9-11 p.m. or all night with $5 wristband, including all UV Vodkas & XXX; $5 Long island pitchers

$1 Cherry Bombs, $1 Keystone Light silos

$1 Cherry Bombs, $1 Keystone Light silos

BODEGA BREW PUB122 4th St.782-0677

$2 BBQ Pork Sliders 2-Fers, Buy any regularly priced food item and get one of equal or lesser value for free

$4 Rueben Sliders Fish Tacos: 1 / $2.50, 2 / $5.00, 3 / $6.50.

BROTHERS306 Pearl St. 784-0522

$2.50 Bud Light bottles, $3 Witches Brew and Scary Shot Specials

$2.50 Coors vs. Keystone pitchers. All specials 9 p.m. to close

AUC2D: $5, domestic taps, rail mix-ers, Long Islands. All specials 9 p.m. to close

10-cent wings, $1 Miller High Life bottles, $1.50 rail mixers; $2.50 call drinks. All specials 9 p.m. to close.

AUC2D, $5 domestic taps, rail mixers and Long Islands. Wristband Night: $2.50 SoCo & Jack. 50-cent shots (two flavors). All specials 9 to close.

$2.50 Bud Light bottles, $3 Witches Brew and Scary Shot Specials

$2.50 Bud Light bottles, $3 Witches Brew and Scary Shot Specials

CARLIE'S ON THIRD115 3rd St. S782-7550

CLOSED CLOSED CLOSED5 domestic taps for $1; $2 domestic pitchers

$2 domestic pints and $2 rail mix-ers; $1 shots of Doctor (3 flavors);

$3 Long Islands; $2 domestic pints;$1 shots of Tequila

$3 Bacardi mixers; $3 Three Olives vocka mixers (8 flavors); $2 domes-tic pints and $2 rail mixers

EAGLES NEST1914 Campbell Road782-7764

$5 domestic pitchers $1.50 domestic taps and rail drinks, 4 p.m. to close

Bird Brain Trivia 8 p.m.; $1.50 do-mestic bottles and rails 4 p.m. to close

Wing Night - 25-cent wings (dine-in only); $1 Miller High Life silos and PBR silos; $1.50 taps and rail drinks; $2 craft taps. All specials 4 to close.

$1.50 domestic bottles and rail drinks, $2 craft bottles, 4 p.m. to close

Happy Hour: 2 for 1 domestic bottles and rail drinks, 3 p.m. to 9 p.m.

Karaoke 9 p.m. to close

F-EATURESW3923 State Highway 16786-9000

Taco buffet 11-2;$1 Pabst bottles and $1 bowling after 9

All you care to eat pizza buffet, 11-2(Holmen)

All you care to eat fish fry 4-10; un-limited Glow-N-Bowl $9.99

Prime rib dinner 4-10; unlimited Glow-N-Bowl $9.99

FLIPSIDE PUB & GRILL400 Lang Drive784-2242

All you can eat wings, includes a choice of potatoe, slaw and a frosted pint, 4-9:30 p.m., $8.99

Wisconsin cheese steak sandwich with a pint of beer, $8.99

Ladies Night, $1 off all drinks, 4 to close; Pint-Aritas $3 (lime or straw-berry)

All you can eat boneless wings, in-cludes a choice of potatoe, slaw and a frosted pint, 4-9:30 p.m., $8.99

HOWIE’S1125 La Crosse St. 784-7400

Happy hour 4 to 9 p.m.; 9 p.m. to close: Night Before Class - $3 pitch-ers of the beast

9 p.m. to close: $3.50 domestic pitchers

9 p.m. to close: $1 rails, $2.50 pitch-ers, beer pong

$5 all you can drink 9 p.m. to close: $1.25 rails, $1.75 bottles/cans

9 p.m. to close: $2 Captain mixers, $2 bottles/cans, $3 Jager bombs

9 p.m. to close: $2 Bacardi mixers, $2 domestic pints, $1.50 shots blackberry brandy

MPULSE214 Main St. 782-6010

$5 AUC2D wristbands: domestic taps, rail mixers, Long Islands, 9 p.m. to close; live DJ, dancing 9 p.m. to close

Alcohol-free night, 7 p.m. to 2 a.m.,for ages 25 and younger; live DJ, dancing, giveaways, AUC2D soda, $10 cover

$5 AUC2D wristbands: domestic taps, rail mixers, Long Islands, 9 p.m. to close; karaoke 9 p.m. to close

$5 AUC2D wristbands: domestic taps, rail mixers, Long Islands, 9 p.m. to close; karaoke 9 p.m. to close

Free Wing Night (while supplies last); $5 AUC2D wristbands: domestic taps, rail mixers, Long Islands, 9 p.m. to close; live DJ, dancing 9 p.m. to close

$5 wristband happy hour, 5 to 9 p.m; live DJ, dancing 9 p.m. to close

$5 wristband happy hour, 5 to 9 p.m; live DJ, dancing 9 p.m. to close

JB’S SPEAKEASY717 Rose St.796-1161

$1.75 domestic bottles, $1.75 Dom bottles and rails, $2.50 Bombs

Monday Madness: $1.75 domestics and rails, $2.50 Bombs, $1 off all top shelf and specialty beers

Tuesday Boozeday $1 off all liquor drinks and 50 cents off all shots, $2 Bombs

Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m. Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m. Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m. Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.

SCHMIDTY’S3119 State Road788-5110

$1.79 burger (after 8 p.m.)Breakfast 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.

Hat Night: Buy 1 drink, get 1 free w/ hat (4:30 to close); $1.50 chili dogs (after 8 p.m.)

Rail drinks $2 (4:30 to close); After 8 p.m. specials: $5 skewer of shrimp,l $1.79 burger, $1.50 chili dogs

Buckets of beer $10, Boston Bobby's drummies 10 for $2 (4:30 to close), $1.79 burger (after 8 p.m.)

Margaritas $4 (Straw, rasp, mango, peach and reg); After 8 p.m. specials: $5 skewer of shrimp, $1.79 burger

Breakfast 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.; lunch buffet 11 a.m. to 2 p.m., $6.99

SLOOPY'S ALMA MATER163 Copeland Ave. 785-0245

$1.50 Tacos, $4.99 nachos;: $11 buckets during pro and college foot-ball games.

Tacos: $11 buckets during pro and college football games. Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m.; $2 pints all day

12-inch pizza $8.99Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m.

14-inch pizza, $2 off;WingsHappy Hour 2 to 6 p.m.

$1.89 hamburger + toppings Ladies night, 2 for 1 drinks (6-close), Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m.

Fish Dinner Special-$7.89 Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m.

$1.50 Tacos, $4.99 nachos; $11 buckets during pro and college foot-ball games.

THE LIBRARY123 3rd St.784-8020

$1 Taps & Rails during the game ; Wristband night starts at 6 p.m.

Half price tequilla, $1 domestic taps and rails

Karaoke, $2 Double rails and all bottles; $3 Double call drinks

Wristband night, $2 cherry bombs, 50¢ shots (3 flavors); $2.50 Tuaca, Jack Daniel's & SoCo Mixers

$3 Bacardi mixers & $4 wristbands after midnight

$3 Three Olives Mixers & $4 wrist-bands after midnight

TOP SHOTS137 4th St.782-6622

$5 Pitchers/$2 bottles of Miller prod-ucts (11-4pm) $2 Corona Bottles, $2 Kilo Kai Mixers , $3 Bloodys (7-1 a.m.)

$1.75 Miller/Bud Light Taps, $2.25 MIcro/Craft Taps, $2.50 Cherry Bombs (7-1 a.m.)

$1.75 Rails, $1.50 Domestic Taps, $3.50 Jager Bombs (7-1 a.m.)

$2 domestic bottles, $2.50 Skyy/Absolut mixers, $2 Dr. shots (7-1 a.m.)

5 Domestic Bottles for $10, $5 Micro/Import Bottles $11.50, $7 Micro/Craft Pitchers (7-1 a.m.)

$2 Captain Mixers, $2. Long Island Mixers, $3 Effen Vodka Mixers (7-1 a.m.)

$5 Miller/Bud Light Pitchers, $2.25 Leinies Bottles (7-1 a.m.)

POPCORN TAVERN308 4th St. S. 782-9069

$2.50 Captain mixers $2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans

$1.75 PBR Bottles$2.50 Captain mixers$2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans

$2.50 Captain mixers $2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans

$2.50 Captain mixers $2 Grain Belt

$2 Coors & Coors Light Bottles, $2.50 Skyy mixers, $2.50 Captain mixers$2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans

$2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans $2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans

WHO'S ON THIRD126 3rd St. N.782-9467

Happy Hour until 10 p.m.$1.50 domestic taps, $2 rails from 10 to close

$1 taps of PBR, $1 rails $3 call doubles, $2 Bud products

Ladies' Night: $2 top shelf, $1 Pink Tacos; Everyone: $2.50 bombs, $2 taps, $3 Jack/Captain doubles

$8.50 Fish Bowls, $2 Miller products $1 off Three Olives, $2 domestic taps

The Best Food & Drink Specials in Town

10// January 207 2011 Second SupperDIVERSIONS

lutant, briefly24 Avoided capture by25 Play Pictionary26 Drops on the lawn27 Hertz competitor28 Vermouth drinks32 Ram's ma'am33 "___ longa, vita brevis"34 Robert who played A.J. Soprano36 Trade gossip37 Where germs usu-ally enter38 Tyson's ring nick-name39 Buddhist near Thailand44 "The Chronic" rap-per Dr. ___45 Request46 Move like a top47 Subscription unit48 "___ die for!"49 Really really tiny50 Line section: abbr.54 Dublin's land55 Job application nos.56 "Sons of ___" (Digital Underground song)58 Capone and Green59 Panda Express kitchen fixture

©2010 Jonesin' Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com)

ACROSS1 "Switched on Bach" synthesizer5 Diamond stat8 Jack on "24"14 Sony co-founder Morita15 Fine and dandy16 Bring into har-mony17 What some things catch on like19 Candle store choices20 They can get busy during the winter and summer21 Half a dance step?22 Badminton divider23 Figures in early Salem history26 The Rent Is Too

___ High Party29 "I had too much root beer" noise30 Carson Daly's former MTV show31 Late singer Cas-sidy32 Airport reader-board abbr.33 Counters in China35 XP protection40 Frodo's home, with "The"41 Some Monopoly spaces: abbr.42 Mauna ___43 "___ see it..."44 Ending for Scooby or Scrappy45 Space starter46 Steadfastly51 Pres. during V-J

Day52 Suffix for Mc-Carthy53 Least likely to speak up57 Mizrahi and Asimov59 Swimmer with large pectoral fins60 Little stream61 Gives it a thumbs-up62 Writer Sarah ___ Jewett63 Not as much64 Important65 Answer, as to an invitation: abbr. DOWN 1 Bryn ___, PA2 "The Grapes of Wrath" extra3 Aromatherapist's supply4 Sink5 Singer Bonnie6 Russian soups7 Tina's ex8 "Seven Whole Grains on a Mission" cereal9 "No way!"10 It comes between printemps and automne11 Carnival food12 Put in data13 Takes a load off18 Part of TGIF21 Ozone layer pol-

"In a Hotspot"They're connecting wirelessly, sorta

By Matt Jones

Answers to Jan. 20 puzzle"Getting Hotter" — Step by step, it'll all be gone.

Maze Efflux By Erich Boldt

Reminds you to

support the

retailers,

restaurants,

taverns and bands

that support us. We

are funded solely

by advertising so if

you want to

support us,

support them!

CONSCIENTIOUS COMMERCE:

More than Skin Deep

Second Supper January 27, 2011 // 11

Downtown La Crosse, above Fayzes - 782-6622

$1.75 - Miller/Bud Taps$2.25 Micro/Craft Taps$2.50 Cherry Bombs(7-1am)

$5 Miller Lite/Bud Light Pitchers$2.25 Leinies Bottles (7-1am)

top shots joke of the week

Good People, Good Drinks, Good Times

SUNDAY TUESDAY THURSDAYMONDAY WEDNESDAY FRIDAY$5 Pitchers $2 Bottles of Miller Products (11-4 pm)$2 Corona Bottles$2 Kilo Kai Mixers $3 Bloody’s (7-1am)

$1.75 Rails$1.50 Domestic Taps$3.50 Jager Bombs(7-1am)

$2 Domestic Bottles$2.50 Skyy/AbsoluteMixers$2 Dr. Shots (7-1am)

5 Domestic Bottles 4 $10$5 Micro/Import Bottles$11.50, $7 Micro/CraftPitchers (7-1am)

$2 Captain Mixers$2 Long Islands$3 Effen VodkaMixers (7-1am)

Check outour new Beers

on Tap!

$2.00 - 1 Player, $3.00 - 2 Players50 Cents Off Drinks, $1 Off Pitchers

SATURDAY

Q: How many Vikings does it take to win a Super Bowl?

A: No one knows, and we may never find out! ?

COMMUNITY

The ReturnBy Brett Emersonbrett.emerson@secondsupper.com

I’ve referred to my stretch of travels around the country last month as The De-cember Experiment because I tried some-thing to change my routine, in order to see if I could develop better habits in my day-to-day life. Six months of ungainful employ-ment and the resulting cabin fever led me to some rather pathetic behaviors. There were a few video game marathons during that time, but worse still were the days, even weeks, in which I did nothing but channel surf the internet, not looking at anything important or even specific, yet not knowing what else to do. I developed this junkie habit while surviving a period of incredible aban-donment and loneliness, which makes it all the more dumb that it persists in a house full of people, years later. So the main element of The December Experiment was this: I’d get all my writing

work done, turned in, and posted before heading out, and then I’d leave my com-puter at home. Which I accomplished. I wrote up one month’s worth of journalism in a week’s time, and each time I left Wash-ington I was largely technology-free, save my electronic book, iPod, and camera — all of which had little potential for sloth. I felt pretty good about myself. After suffering the holiday scorch of Phoenix, I was excited to return to Wiscon-sin: for my friends, for the snow, and for the ability to drink like a free citizen of the world. There are a few things I don’t miss about the Midwest, but the nigh-Irish drinking culture isn’t one of those things. Living in Washington is pretty god-damn wonderful, but to its discredit, this state HATES its liquor. Getting a vodka screwdriver out here feels like undertaking the Odyssey. Any intoxicant not beer or wine can only be sold in state-run liquor stores with Jesusy hours of operation and prices double those of equivalent products sold in Wisconsin. Perhaps I’ve had it too good for too long, but it feels blasphemous to drop twenty bucks for a tub of cheap vodka. I’d probably have an easier time getting it if I had a medical clearance. Thus, after flying into Milwaukee and spending a few days lurking in my mom’s east Wisconsin Fortress of Solitude, I rode into La Crosse on Christmas Weekend, ready to flail, to make a fool of myself, and to suffer Valhalla-grade hangovers. On the Thursday afternoon of my arriv-

al, I found the town exactly as I left it, which felt both reassuring and depressing. Being too early to immediately dash to the bars, I met up with one of my friends, and we ac-companied his kid to Chuck E. Cheese.Having recently been reacquainted with Ari-zona’s weapon fetishist gun laws, I picked up on a strange sign at the exit of the kid’s res-taurant, one which expressly forbade bring-ing guns into Chuck E. Cheese. No shit, says I. Dumber still, however, was the advertised punishment for violating this law — a stiff charge of trespassing. So what happens if a person actually fires a gun in this Chuck E. Cheese? Disorderly conduct? Jaywalking? First-degree Boys Will Be Boys? But this night was not the time for phi-losophy; this was the time for action. And soon I found myself in my ancestral down-town, slithering down from Sobriety Sum-mit. I had a good time — and an even better one during my traditional drunken Christ-mas Night festivities, in which my friends and I watch the original Star Wars Trilogy and get sloppy — but boozing in Wisconsin hadn’t been the legendary adventure I had hoped it to be. There weren’t any stories to come from Christmas weekend that were any better than the ones I already have. In-stead, there was a lot of calm, and low-key reunions, hanging around a small group of friends, and me wandering around town by myself, killing time without agenda or that awkward onslaught of catching up that in-variably accompanies homecomings. Which was perfectly fine.

I was returned to the Fortress of Soli-tude a week later, where I spent another week in comfortable limbo before going back to my already structureless existence. And it was there where The December Ex-periment, well, it didn’t fail, but it wasn’t a wild success. The other side of the Experiment, once the mindless slog of the internet was cut out, was to fill that void with something more productive. I had brought notebooks and journals, ready to fill page upon page with new ideas for all the writing projects I plan to do. Yet for most of my vacation, those pages went blank. Mostly, this was because I’m very easily distracted, and wherever I was, I was rarely in a place where I could block every-one out and get to serious work. My mom’s place, for instance, was a bit cluttered at the time, and there weren’t many places un-touched by a running television. It left me with an unhealthy knowledge of both Frasier and The Nanny, two TV shows whose theme songs will now never escape my brain. It was easier to play video games and ignore the constant static than actually work. But things didn’t end badly. On the last day before leaving Wisconsin, I developed a code of conduct which I’ve been attempt-ing to turn into the new habit ever since. It’s coming together, not with the unrealis-tic and easily frustrated flashes of epiphany and revelation, but with a slow assembly that, given time, could become the new routine. December Experiment, meet the January Plan.

12// January 207 2011 Second Supper

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exclusivity, and even said he wouldn’t mind if I got pregnant. The next day, we sent friendly texts, but he again stopped responding. Now, I’m ending it for sure, but I’m reticent to date anyone else for fear this will happen again.

— Bitten

When you and the man in your life are talking about having a child, there are certain basic questions you need to ask yourselves, and they should be things like “Can we afford this?” and “Who will stay home with the kid?” not “Have we had a third date?” I see so many red flags here, it’s hard to tell whether I’m being asked to give advice or send birthday greetings to Chairman Mao. There are two kinds of people who have four-hour phone conversations with near strangers, and they are airplane passengers who forgot to charge their iPad and people who are not merely looking for love but desperate to find it. The latter waste no time in proclaiming their “deep connection.” Emotionally healthy adults might get caught up in a moment (or hours of them), but they’re generally mindful that you find out who people are by observing them — in person, over time — and see whether what they say matches what they do. (Text this guy if you’re pregnant. He may or may not get back to you.) Your problem isn’t who you date but who you are: a girl who needs love way too much to be in a position to land any. You can really, really want love, and be really,

Speed hating I met a guy online, and after two four-hour phone conversations, he declared he felt a “deep connection.” We had a romantic date, during which he made repeated declarations of his feelings. The next morning, he sent a somewhat angry text, observing that I’d logged in again on the dating site, and while I didn't owe him anything, he found it odd. This led me to (stupidly and prematurely) proclaim him “the total package” for me and say I wouldn’t see anyone else. He stopped responding several days later. Weeks later, I got a strange phone call, and thought it was him. It wasn’t, but he asked me out. Our date was great, but he kept taking a half day to return texts. He claimed he’d just been busy at work, but I don’t think expecting a response before six hours pass is being overly needy. I heard nothing from him until two weeks later, when I mass e-mailed my new cell number. We had another date, and he asked for

The Advice GoddessBy Amy Alkonamy.alkon@secondsupper.com

really sick of putting a bowtie on your cat and pretending you’re on a date. If you aren’t driven by neediness, you understand that an appropriate post-first-date text is “Hope to see you again soon!” — not “I’ve been monitoring your Internet activity and I couldn’t help but notice that you aren’t acting in a manner befitting a loving and faithful wife.” Only when you work on yourself to the point where you’re OK being alone are you ready to look for somebody else. Go looking prematurely, and there surely will be another guy like this one — one who right away says stuff like “I can’t bear to have you away from my side,” and before you know it, is showing you that he’s a man of his word by chaining you to his water pipe.

Blocked swan A friend basically called dibs on a guy we were talking with at a bar, whispering to me right away that she found him really cute. I was bummed, but backed off. We all exchanged e-mails, and vowed to hang out when he’s back in town. He e-mailed me, and we’ve been writing a lot, and have lots in common. I confessed this to my friend, and she seemed surprised and jealous. Now, he’s coming back — just to see me. Did I overstep friendship boundaries? Should I cancel?

— Guilt-ridden

The first one to remark on how glorious the sunset is doesn’t get to take it home. The same goes for some cute guy at a bar. You’ve got to appreciate the male way of

doing things. They’ll get into a fistfight over a woman and then buy each other a beer; women get into a whispering game about a guy and then won’t speak to each other for 20 years. When your friend remarked on this guy’s looks, that was your cue to say, “Omigod! I’m into him, too!” Canceling now isn’t the answer. It’ll only make you resent your friend. If she truly is a friend, she’ll want you to be happy. She did try to pull a sneaky on you, but she ultimately knows that admiration isn’t the fast track to possession — assuming her typical reply to “Cute dress!” isn’t “Unzip me, and it’s yours.”

THE LAST WORD