64

I N I G O

T NIGO is St Ignatius Loyola, Founder of the Company of Jesus. The H lyrics that follow, with their separate introductions, constitute, I

1 ~ believe, a new approach to the life, times, endur ing influence and extraordinary reputat ion of their subject. Even without the music

and the voices which can sing them to you, if you so wish, the Editor of The Way has invited me to publish them as a separate unit , in the hope that they wil! help the reader to pray as affectively out of the life-situation as Inigo learned to pray out of his.

M A S K S

If Inigo were to walk through his home, Loyola, today, he would see an extraordinary variety of portraits, statues, death-masks and other 'relics' of himself. I think he would have found this amusing; I think he might also say with a wise twinkle in his eye: ' I told you so: I had a feeling that this was what they might do to me after I was dead' .

The first song, then, of the Inigo story is a search for the historical ' In igo ' behind the well-meaning but frequently hideously distorted pictures drawn

in various ways by his all too limited companions - - of whom I, too, am one. This is why this - - as indeed all the songs that follow - - is in the first person. It is my intention, in so far as possible, to allow the ma n to tell his

own story. I realize that if I am to do this, I must u n b u r d e n myself of all my own prejudices and suppositions. I am t r y i n g - - i n my own

approach - - to free h im from the stereotypes and false images I - - and

maybe others, too - - have had of him: to be aware of the 'masks ' , and to

see through them.

Above all else, our Inigo is a superb story-teller. This - - as I am sure we

all recognize - - is not apparen t in the most famous of his writings, the book of The Spiritual Exercises (the reasons why are many and complex, and not to our immediate purpose). O n the other hand, it was certainly the 'story of what God had done and was doing in his life' which he set out to narrate to his secretary Luis Gonvalves da Camara , on the late summer evening in the red tower of the roman residence in A.D. 1553. It is this

INIGO 65

fascinating element of story - - at first hand, in the first person, that I wish - - not so much to capture as to release: to let it evoke in us our own stories, and the way in which God is working in all things (Exx 236), and therefore i n u s as well. It is Inigo ' the poor pi lgrim' , the man on his way, ever moving, changing, searching, growing who is s p e a k i n g . . , letting the layers peel away . . . letting the true likeness emerge . . : letting the deep self, true self, hidden self-image of God emerge . . . letting the story be remembered . . . . pieced together, come together . . . letting the bits and pieces form surprising new patterns, nur tu r ing new life now. Lett ing another 's story evoke our o w n . . , light to our pilgrimage . . . guide on our way . . . accompanist to our s o n g s . . , evoker of memories of God working in us . . . .

I ' l l tell you how I reached behind the masks To find God 's image there. I ' l l sing you songs about the ways God helped me find his Son. Down roads of rock; in rivers deep; Through cities' crowded streets, In prisons dark; through caves as stark;

His spirit led the way. His air to breathe; his sun to see; His likeness find, his image free My story's his; his story's mine; This story is our way.

Y O U T H

There is no myth about Inigo 's birth, but not many facts either. It was either just betbre or just after that annus mirabil is in spanish history, 1492: Columbus discovering America, the ~Moors finally defeated and Spain almost one country. And Inigo was born. The celebrated, almost certainly apocryphal, saying attr ibuted to ' the Jesuits ' - - 'Give us a child till he 's five and we have him for life!' - - has the modern ring of a Freud or a Dr Spock, under ly ing as it does the vital formative importance of early life experiences. Inigo 's upbr ing ing was earthy in most senses of that word: not in the big house but with the local blacksmith's family, for his mother died when he was very young indeed. So the smells and sights and sounds were very particular, very basque and very strong. Nor is it altogether a roman- ticization to describe them as beautiful. This can be verified by a visit to or by examining pictures of the basque countryside a round Loyola, hardly changed to this day. He had, therefore, a very sound basic t raining in rich, straight, truthful, down-to-earth human response. Lett ing the senses work

66 INIGO

• . . jus t s e e i n g . . , jus t l i s t e n i n g . . , jus t let t ing the smells, sights and sounds

b e . . . lett ing them s p e a k . . , let t ing himself r e s p o n d . . , let t ing the beauty

s p e a k . . , let t ing the earthiness s p e a k . . , lett ing his senses respond directly . . . immedia te ly . . . s trongly . . . . s imply . . . .

Sing of my youth; Sing of the people who watched over me, All through m y youth; Taugh t me to see, smile true to their smiles; Taugh t me to sense their laughter and happiness Breaking through br ight eyes, danc ing with firelight, All through my youth.

Sing of my youth, Sing of the people who watched over me, All through my youth; Taugh t me to hear, a t tend with true ears; Taugh t me to sense their goodwill and joyfulness Breaking through rough words, r ising like skylarks All through my youth.

Sing of my youth, Sing of the people who watched over me, All through my youth; Taugh t me to touch, to taste true delights; Taugh t me to sense their j oy in G o d ' s gifts to us - - Breaking through meadows, mounta ins and moonlight , All through my youth.

U R O L A

O f all the local features of Loyola, Urola , the r iver that runs through its grounds, must have played a big part . Inigo would have taken to the tumbl ing s t ream like any basque boy of anyt ime - - del ight ing in it: wet, muddy , turbulent , g leaming, immensely alive; the very image of his basque character . H e might well have t raced it to its sources high in the hills; seeing at first hand the way living waters spr ing out of the deep earth; and he would have seen it widen and deepen as it reached out to the sea. Le t t ing the waters f'low . . . le t t ing the Spir i t move i . . ~etfmg G o d rise in the spring of our h e a r t s . . , let t ing experiences flow i n . . . let t ing the waters cleanse and refresh . . . let t ing the deep self bathe in life 's s treams . . .

let t ing each self flow into the sea . . . .

INIGO 67

Livings 's a tumbl ing stream; growing 's a f looding river, H e a v e n ' s no dis tant dream; G o d ' s presence flows forever. Uro la the r iver I know, Loyola the home it passed by; U n d e r the br idge it sang, this song with the stars and mounta ins Sprung from the moun ta in ' s depths; spreads to the sea that

beckons Widens the way it flows; deepens where new streams enter.

D R E A M S

Inigo certainly had a rich imaginat ion: he was easily caught up in romant ic novels. Like his greatest fictional compatr iot , he d reamed impossible knight ly quixotic dreams. This was freely and richly nur tu red in his adolescent courtly life and travels. In igo lived his adolescence to the full - - do not heed the contradict ions and impossibil i t ies of his dreams: hard

reali ty would knock them into real enough shapes later. But first, dream! In igo ' s d reams were dreams of action: ways to go, trials to face, distances to travel. Let t ing the images arise . . . let t ing the hopes and the colours, the sounds and the senses have their p lay . . . seek their objects . . . sense out the delights and the meanings . . . the challenges to chase . . . .

The lady of my dreams, so beautiful and pure, She lives in distant lands, alas; She spares no thought, no love for me, She lives in dis tant lands, alas; She dreams no dreams at all of me.

So I must search to reach her, Go through great trials and many fights, M y purpose is to win her, M y wealth I ' l l spend to give the best to . . . .

So I must ride to f ind her,

Go to far lands, through .forests dark; M y purpose is to win her; M y honour is to wholly serve . . . .

But I ' l l give all to find h e r ; Go down false trails and subtle trials, M y purpose is to win her; M y pr ide will be to make her mine.

68 INIGO

F I G H T S

Pamplona would have been a forgotten minor battle in the endless spanish- french feud, but for the cannonbal l that crushed young Inigo 's legs. It is easy to muse and moralize over the meanings; the adversity that turned a

young hothead swordsman into the utterly unique founder of the company of Jesus . . . . The baffling ways of P r o v i d e n c e . . the need to see a life as a whole: where it comes from and where it leads . . . . Lett ing the Lord speak through all things . . . letting pain and rejection speak its mean ing . . . letting new pathways o p e n . . , letting other possibilities e m e r g e . . , letting the meaning of being bowled over be integrated into the pattern of the whole . . . letting all things lead to God . . . .

My dreams of glory took me up the road to fight against the French;

Defending towns with sword and shot and all the skill I knew;

Unt i l one day with the fray, french cannon aimed at me,

Broke through one leg, the other crushed, and I was left for dead.

The city fell, career as well, that road at least I ' d travel no more,

This swordsman' fun, this fight was done - - before it had begun.

H O M E

Home for Inigo was of course the castle of Loyola, and the loving care of his

brother 's family and household there. He was undoubtedly far too sick to

verbalize, let alone sing the rather operatic - - but I hope not merely senti- mental - - words I 've put into his mouth! Overall, considering the whole of his life, they have perhaps some justification . . . .

Native air, familiar sounds - - these have their own healing powers. The sense of belonging after the experience of distance and alienation is all the

more delightful. The need to be halted in our tracks; the need for a time to reflect, recoup, recharge, precisely when we are going full tilt and bull- headed in a direction that is often the very opposite of the one the deeper self is seeking . . . . Lett ing the deeper feelings s p e a k . . , letting the longings tell of deeper d e s i r e s . . , letting myself come to m y s e l f . . , letting the self come home to the s e l f . . , letting myself come h o m e . . , letting events lead back to go forward - - lead in, to stretch out . . . . Lett ing myself become still to be healed . . . be whole . . . move out . . . .

INIGO 69

Take me back to m y own country, Take me back though the way be long, Take me back to m y own country, Take me home to where I belong. Let the sight of my friends there revive me; Let the sounds of home heal my pain; Let the sweet ,air of my own country Bring me strength to walk again.

W h e n I ' m back in my own country, Never mind though the way be long, When I ' m home in my own country , I ' l l feel what it means to belong,

All the love I once knew there will flood back, All the smells revive memories dear, The words and the ways of my people Will b r ing health and heal ing there.

B L A C K T I D E S

Inigo almost died at Loyola: the long rough journey , the crude surgery, were not at first counteracted by the loving care. Everyone lost confidence in his powers of recovery. Impossible odds: but he - - and the Lord - - overcame them.

For such a physically s trong extrovert , the weakness of sickness was all the harder to bear: but he found new resources in the process. There is a s tubborn de te rmina t ion against all odds for full recovery. He takes the starkest, most painful means of radical surgery: let t ing na ture take its course - - and taking every means h i m s e l f . . , let t ing life ebb away - - and cl inging desperately on . . . let t ing himself hope against hope . . . .

Down steep black paths I slid away, I lost all sense of hope I ' d return; The pa in was so great, m y pulse so weak, Tha t I thought I ' d not arise again, I would not arise again.

Down strong black .tides I ebbed away, I lost all sense of hope I ' d return; The doctors spoke low, they shook their heads; You ' l l never walk again, they said, You ' l l not walk your way again.

70 INiGO

Down deep black holes I lost my hold, I lost all sense of hope I ' d return; But as midnight struck on St Peter 's day, Faint hope began to rise in me, Hope of health rose new in me. My dead heart found new fire, Felt deep and a new desire

For something more, sought further for - - his ways of delight, Tha t ' s how I knew my way - - I let this new hope pray, Through broken bars, I gazed at stars - - on fire with delight.

D E L I G H T

I have not actually counted the times Inigo refers to delight or to its synonyms, but I have a strong impression that he refers to it more than to

any other feeling or 'affection'. He knew depths of despair and depression: indeed, the whole spectrum of feelings. But it is to delight and t h r o u g h delight that he is always returning, always rising. This early vision of Mary

and the Child after his near escape from death is a typical example of the

serenity that comes after the storm - - the delight after deepest despair - - a pattern in his highly volatile temperament and varied life. He learned how to let light follow darkness. He knew how to let Mary speak the language of

encouragement through pictures and people as well as directly from herself and the child. He learned how to have the nerve simply to hang on through the hard and baffling times . . . . Le t t ing the mist scatter . . . letting the space become empty . . . letting the self be naked and still . . . letting his voice be heard . . . letting her presence be felt . . . letting people smile on me . . . letting others reach o u t . . , letting myself be l o v e d . . , le t t ing the dawn come . . . letting other worlds break through . . . .

Brittle dreams and broken hopes Now fade like mist clouds, drift far away; They leave grey empty spaces Where my sun once shone bright in daylight clear.

Hollow the hope dies with day , Shines no more, visions fade far away.

Yet as they ' re fad~wg new soutxds emerge~ 'T rus t where I lead, hope now in me ' , The Lord himself lights his space in me, Sense in each call his hope set free.

INIGO 71

His words took fire fanned new desire in my inmost heart; Visions of M a r y smil ing wide With the child in her arms; Even longer after, all that I sensed then this feeling remained , His words made a place of deep delight in m y inmost heart .

R O A D S

W h a t a t ravel ler In igo was! W h a t an amaz ing variety of roads he knew: Spanish, French, I tal ian: even a little taste of the r ambl ing English variety. H igh roads and low roads, with all their twists and turns, horrors and delights, he knew well. The first great jesui t traveller; precursor in spirit , if not in geography, of St Francis Xav ie r and Te i lhard de Cha rd in . . . . At this point of his story he is about to set out on the archetypal european pi lgr image to Je rusa lem. Inigo was a fearless traveller: there were hazards of every kind along s ixteenth-century roads - - every sort that is, except the ma in modern sort: speed . Thus Inigo could digest what he saw and experienced; there was t ime to appropr ia te each experience as it came. At first his motives are mixed: it is an adventure in which he plans to do bet ter than his great predecessors - - naive and superficial - - but at least it got him started. The way itself would purify the motives! Let t ing the road lead o n . . . let t ing it widen and nar row and twist and t u r n . . , let t ing the road be itself and teach its way of the Lord . . . let t ing the road challenge . . . let t ing the road come up to meet y o u . . , let t ing the road go o n . . . let t ing the way speak of the way . . . let t ing the way reveal . . . .

Wha t Francis and Dominic did I made up my mind I ' d do at least as well

A n d t ruth to tell deep in my hear t I knew I could excel.

Along that road, the way they 'd showed, but I ' d do bet ter still,

Along that road I ' d bear my load, f ind greater glory still:

W h a t they had done, I would outdo; go deeper , wider, further than they

Where they 'd done much, I ' d do far more - - find new roads still to go!

A R A N Z A Z U

Aranzazu is the evocative basque name for a shrine to M a r y high in the hills beyond Loyola. I t was In igo ' s first s topping place. I t is in every sense a

72 INIGO

singularly pure place: pure air, pure pr imal colours and shapes: wholesome and healing at many levels. Inigo learnt about pur i ty , not only in its usual sexual sense of self-possession and self-control, but also in the more

fundamenta l sense of pur i ty of response, honesty of expression, variety and truthfulness of affective relating. Here Inigo made his lifelong dedicat ion of himself to Mary : symbolized by the white 'b lack thorn ' flower that grows in abundance , and is connected with the local legend, and the medieval squat romanesque statue still venerated there. Let t ing love speak straight . . . let t ing the white flower gleam . . . let t ing love break through to let love grow the m o r e . . , let t ing M a r y be loving with h u m a n a f f e c t i o n . . , lett ing the self respond as truly . . . .

Upon the mounta in peaks the blackthorn grows, Its flower gleams white as snow; its thorn draws blood; It speaks to me of her who is the only one who 's pure

in all her loving: Lady of Aranzazu.

Upon the mounta in peaks h e r love I found. Through mists and clouds I walked, up roads of rock, To hear her speak to me of love both pure and whole:

the way of fullest loving Found here in Aranzazu.

Upon the mounta in peaks my love I gave; From depths new found to heights I had not d reamed: To her I gave my love jus t as it was that day;

the best I had to offer - - Tha t day in Aranzazu .

C R O S S R O A D S

The crossroads specifically referred to here is an impor tan t one in the Inigo story: it was the po in t at which he let his donkey choose whether to keep along the high road and so pursue the blasphemous M o o r to his d e a t h . . . or to take the lower village road and let the Moor go free. He was a wise donkey: he knew bet ter than Inigo at that t ime the better, forgiving ways of the Spiri t of God . . . Inigo was very much a man of his age and class and country - - with all the l imitat ions as well as strengths. His genius and greatness was to let God work through these, and in so doing purify . . . . There is also a delightfully humorous and playful (almost franciscan!) rela- t ionship to all God ' s creation - - including brother ass. A n d there is a deep seriousness at this and every crossroads: how differently his and later

INIGO 73

history might have been had that insignificant ass chosen the other road . . . . Letting God lead his way . . . letting him speak through creatures and events . . . letting the deeper desires emerge . . . letting him correct our p r e j u d i c e s . . , letting him let us f o r g i v e . . , letting the greater glory i n . . . the higher way . . . the lasting love . . . letting all the meanings of all the roads come h o m e . . , letting ourselves ponder the roads t a k e n . . , and not taken . . . letting ourselves praise him . . . .

I rode along, my thoughts with Mary,

when a Moor came by my side He cast a lying sneer upon her,

would not hear me in defence. I made to fight to put his thoughts right,

wished to draw my sword at once, But being near a village crossroads

changed my mind to make new plans.

I thought, 'Lord, we must let the donkey show us how to settle this,

If he rides on I ' l l have to leave him tO his sins without a fight.

As we drew near the village crossroad, his dark horse rode on ahead;

Still angry and in inner turmoil, I turned down the village road . . . .

Then that song began to swell in my inmost heart: It cast a doubt, I had to think again; I heard his gentler sound, I felt my inner ground

Break up and pray, another way: forgive, let be. You must not always fight, to put the world to right, A greater love, breaks from above - - his better way. So let the Moor ride on, now let my rising song, Break through your heart, forgive, restart;

ride now Christ 's way.

M O N T S E R R A T

Montserrat is the benedictine home of the Black M a d o n n a high in the 'serrated' mountain near Barcelona. Here Inigo gave away his own hidalgo's clothes and laid his sword before the altar as he kept his all night vigil there. Mary was a real person to Inigo - - not just a symbol: he had this personal sense of her personal guidance. Thus it was Mary above all

others who modified his cruder, more s tubborn traits, led him gentler ways,

74 INIGO

helped him become aware of his anima as well a s his animus. H e learnt to speak to her easily and famil iar ly behind the courtly and medieval t rappings. Let t ing M a r y be M a r y . . . let t ing her be her true s e l f . . , let t ing his deeper desires meet in h e r . . , let t ing her be a guiding s t a r . . , let t ing her speak along the way . . . let t ing her be a context for J e s u s . . .

M a r y my star, shine br ight above the mounta ins , Guide me along your way. M a r y my star, though sharp the rocks may be,

Shine out, shine through, shine now.

The rose that blooms along my way speaks of your care, shows ways y o u ' r e near,

The flowers that dance and lift their heads say loud to me ' I ' m with you h e r e ' .

W h e n I with you can see things as they really are, see with pure eyes,

Then I can see his form in everything that ' s small, tha t ' s big, tha t ' s now.

The breeze that blows along m y ways speaks of your love, leads from above,

It carries scents, it echoes sounds, sings clear to me: ' I hear your p raye r ' .

W h e n I with you can hear things as they really are , hear with true ears,

Then I can hear his sound in everything tha t ' s far,

tha t ' s near, tha t ' s here.

The sun that shines along my way, shines from your sky, warms with his love;

I t draws out scents, glints soft through shades, speaks s t rong to me - - ' I ' m touching you ' .

When I with you can touch him as he really is, feel with new sense;

Then I can find our Lord in everything that warms, that lights, that shines.

M A N R E S A C A V E

The name of this present -day medium-s ized industr ial town on the banks of the present -day ra ther polluted r iver Ca rdone r has spawned jesui t re t reat

houses all over the world, in m e m o r y of the profound experiences Inigo

INIGO 75

underwent in and a round the cave where he made his home after his vigil in

Montserrat . Inigo loved cellars and c r y p t s - places perhaps where he really felt he could get to the very roots of his being: very much a reaching to God as the ground of his being - - source of life, immanent , within - - which in no way lessened his appreciation of the God above who sends his gifts de arriba.

His only real possession was a book in which he described his experiences and noted down techniques that seemed to help: this is the book of the Exercises, in process of becoming the book we know today under that title. Lett ing the image of God himself emerge in me . . . letting myself reach himself through the s e l f . . , letting me find the face I had before I was born • . . letting me reach to the ground of my b e i n g . . , letting me find him in depth . . . letting my hidden true image self arise . . . .

Down from the heights above, through valleys deep to dark black caves he leads.

And when I think I 've reached the furthest depths, there's more to go.

I write his lessons in a book, so I can always take further looks,

To trace the way he 's leading me, by valleys, peaks and dreams, From peaks to caves, through crypts, through graves, Down roots that reach to waters deep.

From peaks through graves, in crypts he saves, through caves he 's leading me.

B L A C K H O L E S

The basic black hole referred to in this song is the one Inigo specifically mentions in hs Autobiography: the hole that was being dug near the hostel which he stayed in: it all too aptly symbolized the desperate experience of alienation he underwent at this time. At one level it was an attack of scruples: had he really confessed all his sins? At another level it was the epitome of the very strengths of his s tubborn, independent , active character that had to be surrendered if his gift to God were to be total - - and if God were to be able to use the whole of h im . . . . At another level still, it was the absolute starting point that most of us have to be making and remaking at different levels most of our lives: letting God love me through and through. • . . Lett ing God first love me . . . letting him forgive the whole of me - - independently of my merits and actions . . . independent ly of my naming the sins . . . letting God be the God who is love, and loving totally all the

time, and therefore loving me . . . .

76 INIGO

Lord, F l l hurl myself down deep black holes, to resolve my bi t ter pain.

And I never shall come back to this world you made, For I cannot bear this bi t ter pain,

I cannot bear this pain. Lord, this dark voice echoes down my days,

I cannot break its spell, Says I never shall make good in the world you love, Makes instead in me my lonely hell,

it makes in me my hell.

Lord, speak to me, tell me what I must do, since all men ' s advice is vain;

Mus t I never re turn to the world you make, Never break the mean ing of this pain,

never share the truth I find? Then his v o i c e b r o k e th rough my anxious fears,

his voice broke through to me, 'Leave all your past, leave all your fears,

leave all your sins to me. For I love you through the deepest depths in you And I need you in the world I love,

I need you in our world ' .

V I S I O N S

And again: after the turbulence and darkness, floods of l i g h t and new visions. In the Autobiography, Inigo divides these into five. They include an insight into the mean ing of the Tr in i ty through the symbol of the three musical keys; a sense of God creat ing the world; an insight into how Chris t is present in the eucharist - - again through the symbolism of light - - sun 's rays; and finally the greatest of all his visions: the enl ightenment by the river Cardoner .

I t was through his imagina t ion that God par t icular ly enl ightened Inigo. His sense of be ing caught up in the personal relat ionships of the members of the Tr in i ty ; his sense of being in process of being created as someone in a cont inuing present; his personal sense of the closeness of Christ : the host and the sun are closely-related and similarly shaped symbols; and above all, the sense of God in all things, symbolized by the flowing waters of the Cardoner . In all these, God is both personally guiding him and shaping tile par t icular emphases that will ind iv idua te not only Inigo but all who let

themselves be shaped by God in his way . . . . Let t ing the Tr in i ty come close • . . let t ing them i n t e r r e l a t e . . , totally g i v e . . , totally respond . . . be in eternal loving process of circumincession . . . let t ing Jesus come close . . .

INIGO 77

letting him shine through his symbols B r e a d . . . W i n e . . . S u n . . . Rays of l i g h t . . , letting the waters f l o w . . , letting the Spirit m o v e . . , letting the waters refresh . . . cleanse . . . delight . . . wash rock aside . . . fill deep

places . . . .

The Father loves the Son with all the love he is,

The Son responds with loving as total as his The Spirit is the living love of Father and Son: Receiving and giving their three loves as one.

How can a love so total say anything to me? How can love be so selfless - - so totally free? How can love be a Spirit our eyes c a n n o t see?

How can love speak love's mean ing to you and to me?

The love of the Father took flesh in the Son, The love of the Son still lives on in his friends; The love of the Spirit is born in each heart, Awaiting, awakening when locks break apart.

Lord Jesus Christ, my King, my Sun, You are the source whence love's rays come; You shine through all things, your loving flows Through bread and wine, your presence grows.

I sense your light in every ray; I see you shape each break of day; In bread and wine though our eyes can ' t see,

I sense your love enliven me; I see your rays one with the sun; I see them reach to everyone;

In bread and wine Lord remembered be;

Transform our lives, Lord make us free. The river runs deep along my road; It hums my song, makes light my load; It leads me on beyond my fears; It opens locks, releases tears. Your river runs deep within my heart, Releases springs in deepest parts, It leads me on to spaces new, It opens gates, lets flow what 's true. Our river runs deep, my heart is full, Your song flows through each depth I feel; I know you are here wherever I go; Lord, may our river ever flow.

78 INIGO

A L O N E

There is a way of being alone that is the very opposite of 'a l ienat ion ' ; it is the human expression of a new-found, deepened relationship to God ; the kind of aloneness expressed in the old phrase: nunquam minus solus quam

solus. This is what Inigo wants to express at this stage of his pilgrimage story: the sense of the all-sufficing love of God as a present experience, a here-and-

now lived reality. Being Inigo, he has to do it with exuberant wholehearted- ness: no companions, no food, no spare clothes - - nothing but God alone.

Inigo wants to express in human incarnate forms this deep interior

relationship forged at Manresa. Inigo has this wonderful sense of particular symbols: he has to be

persuaded to take even a min imal dry ship's biscuit to sustain him: God ' s love floods every minute detail. It wasn ' t that he disliked h u m a n company - - he loved it. But he loved God even more: this is what he had to express at this stage of his pilgrimage . . . . Letting the Lord be all to m e . . . letting Jesus be the supreme friend . . . letting nothing distort , restrict, detract from God a l o n e . . , letting the little things of every day speak purely of God

• . . letting God alone be all I need . . . .

I must take the road alone to the Holy Land, For when I walk alone I walk with him.

I ' l l walk alone his road, he' l l share with me my load; He ' l l walk with me; he' l l stay by me; when I walk alone.

No friends to ease my burden, none to serve my needs; With him alone, I need no other friend; Alone the world I ' l l sail, alone I shall not fail; With him I roam, with him I ' m home - - with Christ alone.

No place I ' l l go need cause me fear, nor rouse a deep alarm; For everywhere I go, he takes my arm;

I ' l l prove that he alone - - gives more than all I ' d own - - He knows my needs, alone he heeds - - my true desire.

C I T I E S

Inigo is at least as much a city as a country man: at home in and beyond both. Though he had a great sense of the particularity of places, he had an even greater sense of the particularity of persons. He gives us delightful cameos ~f the people he met on his way" p a r t i c u l a r l y - at this point in b.is journeyings, the spanish merchant-family in Venice who delighted so much in his company and conversation they did not want him to leave. But Inigo had to move on.

INICO 79

Inigo was a great listener: there is a whole apostolate in the way he would listen to the table talk of his hosts; then after the meal , he would respond to their questions and needs.

Inigo was always totally present to whomever he met on his way: giving

them his whole a t tent ion a n d practical help, whether it was in words, like that ment ioned above, or in deeds, as when he rescued a mother and daughter from rapists on the road to Bologna. Let t ing the other be himself • . . let t ing the other speak from the h e a r t . . , let t ing the other become free • . . let t ing myself listen d e e p . . , let t ing myself a t tend to the other ' s need . . . .

So for ,Jerusalem I s tarted out, alone with him alone. K ind friends in Barcelona saw me off with smiles and tears. I passed through Rome, made Venice home,

where more friends begged me stay. His air to breathe; his sun to see,

his likeness find, his image free; M y s tory 's his, his s tory 's mine; this story is our way.

S E A S

In igo ' s sense of the presence of Jesus in the form of a br ight white circle, perhaps a kind of sun and moon and eucharist ic host, all conflated, but clarifying and encouraging, not confusing, came to him in many places on his travels. I t came to h im now, as he at last took ship and sailed the s tormy seas from Venice to the Holy Land.

In igo is in t empe ramen t like St Peter, to whom he had a special devotion and once wrote a poem in his youth• His experience of Chr i s t ' s presence on the s tormy seas is perhaps an echo of Pe te r ' s experience.

F ind ing God in all things very much includes for Inigo f inding him in storms, in conflict and even through alienation; In igo made such a stand against the depravit ies of the sailors that they near ly d u m p e d him on a lonely island. I think Inigo would have been quite happy with this: he was free enough to accept to the full the implicat ions of his decisions and actions. Let t ing the storm arise and rage . . . let t ing the light of Jesus shine . . .

let t ing G o d speak in the s torm and the c a l m . . , let t ing him speak through all events . . . .

S tormy the weather and rough were the white waves. H igh were the west winds that shredded our sails. Battered and broken the ship nearly foundered; Fr ightened and angry the crew cursed aloud. Strong was the trust that I placed then in Jesus; Seen in br ight circles above the dark seas.

80 INIGO

L A N D

If the seas exhilarated and challenged him, it was the particularity of holy places that evoked his deepest devotion• The supreme example of this was of course the Holy Land itself. The literal sense of walking in Christ 's foot- steps greatly appealed to him. Behind the naivete which often took him to ludicrous lengths - - like having to return to Mount Olivet to make sure he had registered which way Christ 's ascending footsteps p o i n t e d - is a profoundly sophisticated pauline-teilhardian sense of the 'Christification' of all reality. But for Inigo this is always incarnate, particular and practical.

He has a strongly developed tactile sense: he wants to touch and feel the textures of the rocks and fields and mountains Jesus himself had touched. His sense of Christ 's presence is always incarnate, practical and sensible; his devotion always earthed to the particular and the real, even at its most profoundly mystical. Letting Jesus be J e s u s . . . letting Jesus walk his way • . . letting Jesus leave his mark in h iswor ld . . . letting myself touch and feel the textures of the place he lived in . . . letting myself see his Holy Land . . . .

At last I kissed the Holy Ground; I walked where he walked his winding way At last the holy City shone, In bright late sunshine, in evening's calm. Holy the land where he lived, where he trod; Holy the ground he touched - - Lord, let me walk in your winding way; Let me Lord Jesus walk your way. Let me touch each tree and rock Where Jesus walked once, where Jesus prayed. Let me climb each mountainside Where Jesus spoke once, where Jesus trod. Holy the land where he died where he rose; Holy the tree he touched - - Lord, let me linger, Lord, let me stay; Let me Lord Jesus live your way. True pilgrims' aims spread wider yet; Grow still to wonder, reach depths to move on. True pilgrims wander many ways, Recover old roads to seek out new; Holy the land where he leads, where he'll g o ; Holy the lands he'll touch Lord, lead me further beyond this land; Lead me, Lord Jesus, still.

INIGO g l

S E E K

Whether by sea or by land, Inigo is always a seeker. There was an e lement in his t emperamen t that longed to be, jus t to be, in one place above all: the supremely holy place where Jesus lived and taught. His vision at this t ime was to pray and serve the poor there for the rest of his life. This he proposed - - i n no uncer ta in t e r m s ! - to the franciscan guardians. But God disposed otherwise through the equally clear terms of the franciscan authorit ies; they had problems enough without having to cope with the unpredictable behaviour of a basque charismatic . . . Inigo, for all his s tubbornness and de terminat ion , knows how to recognize defeat, knows too how to reconcile himself to a God who cuts right through his own plans, however good they seemed, in igo is never lacking in new initiative: his dreams are forever founder ing - - and forever broadening , widening and moving on . . . . Let t ing the Lord break t h r o u g h . . , let t ing him speak when I ' d ra ther not h e a r . . , let t ing h im lead to places I ' d not guessed he would • . . let t ing him break into me, over turning my little w o r l d . . , let t ing h i m lead me on . . . .

Sense him whisper, hear him murmur ; 'Leave this land, seek further shores ' . Jesus grows where you respond. He leads beyond this land; Sense his presence, deep now within you; H e a r l~is call to break new ground. Sense h im saying, hear him singing: 'Break new ground, seek further ways! ' Jesus grows where you respond, he spreads where just ice calls. Sense his presence, deep now within you; H e a r his call to seek new ways• Sense him shout out loud, sense his r inging sound: 'Echo clear, my k ingdom' s now' . Jesus lives where you respond, he 's present in his world• Let that presence echo new beyond you, Hea r his calls to seek and share.

R E P E T I T I O N S

In igo ' s life is by no means a steady progression; he knows the frustrations • of having to trek back and start out again after the collapse o f great

ventures. This happened now as he took the boat back to Venice; and thence to Barcelona, to the totally unromantic task of intellectual study. Going back over experiences, not in a mechanical way but in o rder to

82 INIGO

re interpret more deeply the way God is personal ly direct ing him, becomes a firm ignat ian principle. The lyric for this song is somewhat curt: I do not Wish to imply that Inigo was anti-intellectual, though he did find study

hard; nor that he was ant i -academic, though he did suffer greatly, par t icular ly at the hands of academic inquisitors. The song in fact does not quite do just ice to In igo ' s immensely balanced responses of total commit- ment, both to the Spir i t ' s private and personal inspirat ions and his public guidance through the insti tutions of the Church. In igo lives the creative,

crucifying tension of the two. Let t ing the Lord lead back to let the Lord lead o n . . . let t ing him speak through all persons and p l a c e s . . , let t ing him speak privatelyi and publicly . . . let t ing myself respond to both . . . .

Retrace my steps, go back to where the crossroads pointed here;

Go back to Barcelona; learn to be a learned man. Learn how to tell, which way to hell,

the learned doctors teach; Wi th their degree, I ' l l then be free,

to teach what God taught me. Retrace to learn; repeat to find

the deeper way he ' s leading me. Retrace to learn; retrace to seek

which way, which way to go.

L O V E S

It would be as foolish as it would be unhistorical to deny the debt that Inigo owed to a great variety of women for a great var ie ty of reasons. H e himself never made any secret of his youthful amorous adventures. H e undoubtedly repented the sinful merely lustful elements, but - - and here is his original i ty - - developed in the Lord his deeply affectionate responses to both men and women. His sexuality was not s tunted by grace: it was re- canalized and, in the process, both deepened and widened. At this point in his story, it is his great patroness Isabel Roser of whom he mainly sings. Inigo experienced the part icular i t ies arid delights of a deeply affectionate person. Th is was in no sense in conflict with his pur i ty - - ra ther it was an incarnate expression of it.

Inigo had such assurance in his own identi ty and his own sexuality and his own abil i ty to love and to be loved - - supremely by God himself - - that he was free to Cake what might seem risks, bu t to h im were direct incarnate expressions of his very par t icular and practical sense of the God who is love, and of his personal mission to continue and develop the incarnat ion of that same love. Let t ing the God who is love flow through all relat ionships . . .

INIGO 83

letting love overflow in the world . . . letting true love be richly and variously incarnate . . . letting love be particularly expressed . . . letting love give and be given . . . letting love be unpossessive, outward, other- c o n c e r n e d . . , letting love be in all things and all p e o p l e s . . , letting love be and grow where no love seemed to flow . . . .

He led to a lady who loved me with a generous love; Gave her attention to my schemes

linked to dreams from above; Gave her support, listened with love,

when all others mocked loud, Risked reputation, all reservation,

let love grow through me. Deep is the love that each may give and each purely receive; Deep is the love that both may share and need never deceive;

M a n y expressions, many delights of two people in love Can flow without fear: when his Spirit 's near,

their love's open to God.

P A R A D O X E S

Wholehearted love cannot be contained or adequately expressed within conventional categories; it breaks them - - and is often broken by them - - only to reach beyond to a higher synthesis in a cont inuing, rising process. In this period of his life, Inigo felt strongly the pains of paradox: the holy thoughts that came when he wanted to study; the condemnat ion by his own beloved Church ' s misunders tanding inquisitors; the endless frustration of his desire to share what was closest to his heart: his Spiritual Exercises. It is a kind of crucifying. But even this, Inigo comes to see as affirming his depest desire: to be with Christ where he always is: total love breaking through narrower, more merely conventional, too complete incarnat ions of lesser loving . . . Inigo, like all true lovers, faces pain and rejection to

express the deep and real commitment of his deeper self . . . . He does not so much seek the cross as experience it: as an intrinsic element in the process of realizing his commitment to Christ. His ultimate meaning, through all categories and all experiences, is being with Christ in the very places most human beings usually avoid. Lett ing Christ be present in all experience • . . letting love grow in weakness, in rejection, in the very pain of going on • . . letting the cross be itself in the things that should not b e . . . letting the cross purify and deepen, in the very process of its being . . . letting Christ affirm me in the sharing of his breakdown to break-through . . . letting his mean ing dawn through the dark . . . .

84 INIGO

How can you pray and study at one and the same time? How can you think of G o d ' s things and learn Lat in rhymes? How can you give at tention to two things at once? How can you think and wonder and still be at one?

The answer ' s very simple; you really should not try! Be one-pointed, one-centred, or you ' l l split and die, Do now what you are doing, be whole and learn how To love your God a lways , for his name is ' now ' .

How H o w H o w How

can you be del ighted when your hands are chained? can you go dancing when y o u r leg is maimed? can your voice rise in song when y o u ' r e lost in the dark? can you bui ld a palace in prisons so stark?

M y hands are still p ray ing though chains pin •them down; M y feet are still danc ing though held to the ground. M y heart is still s inging through darkness and din; M y pr ison ' s a palace when I ' m free within.

M y meaning is being with Chris t when he is; M y mean ing is being my true self through his; M y meaning is moving through weakness and night, To be with him always, break through to delight.

F R I E N D S

A n d in and through the things that should not be, emerge the greatest discoveries, recoveries, deepest values: like the real mean ing of friends and friendship. I n this ra ther dark per iod of his life when everything seemed against him, Inigo reaches the very centre of his life's mission: the actual founding of the company of Jesus; the meet ing with Xav ie r and Favre and the other first companions; their sharing of the Exercises and their bond of mutua l dedicat ion to Christ , to the Church , to one another in cont inuing pi lgrimage. These companions stay because Inigo has learned both to give and to receive love: to let Chr is t grow in every place and every experience. In an alien land, in alien studies, Inigo comes ' home ' : he finds and found the group of t rue friends who are the first companions of Jesus . . . . H e affirms and is aff irmed in friendship. Let t ing Chris t live in dark t imes . . . le t t ing h im come in true companions . . . le t t ing h im take his t ime to come his way . . . let t ing fr iendship deepen and grow in surpr is ing ways . . . lett ing love be given, as well as giving love . . . let t ing friends talk to friends: let t ing Chris t be present in the process . . . .

INIGO 85

My way to teach is not to preach, but listen deep to what each one says;

To let the other speak his word first, this way to learn his deeper thirst.

The deeper voice, the deeper choice, lies deeper that the words we speak.

Each hidden self is growing where his Spirit moved beyond each fear.

So when you sense this mean ing clear, respond to him, respond to where

Each heart is thirsting to speak its love, let free desire, gift from above

His world is big, his will is love, his way is now.

From God we come, to God we go; Christ is our life, in him we grow.

His spirit abides in us to set us free, to help us be his pilgrims now.

To walk alone to find yourself is an important way,

But people also need to share life with friends. We need close friends to speak the truth with love, and seek New ways to go, new fields to sow; let new streams flow. He sends us out to seek and find his presence here.

From God we come, to God we go; Christ is our life, in him we grow.

His spirit abides in us to set us free, to help us be his pilgrims now.

Apparent friendship on the road never seems to last Unt i l one day I learned true friendship's ways: You must let each one give, if you intend to l i v e As true friends do, share through and through

- - let friends give too. His world cries out his hungry need for bread and love. From God we come, to God we go,

Christ is our life, in him we grow; His Spirit abides in us, to set us free, to help us be his pilgrims now.

And even better than one friend is a company. A band of friends of different race and tongue;

Each sees with his own sight, each brings his own delight,

Each hears his call, shares all with all, to help us be his pilgims now.

86 INIGO

C L O W N S

Clowns can be very serious people; and truly serious people are not atYaid to be clowns. There is a strong element of the clown in Inigo. It needs emphasizing; for one of most people 's more distorted images of him is that of the cold cool cleric 's remote, and ul t ra-balanced rationality• To ponder on the actual events as he himself reveals them in his Autobiography, is to allow this image to be at least modified. This is par t icular ly true of this per iod of his life. It is epi tomized in two delightfully and del iberately contrast ing images: Inigo crawling on all fours above a precipi tous stream, surviving this, only to fall off a wobbly little wooden br idge in Bologna and come out covered in mud to the amusement of the bystanders . Then the delightfully Commedia dell'Arte approach to the first mission in Vicenza - - four of the companions clowning about to get the people 's at tent ion in the four corners of the city . . . .

Inigo is free enough to be unconventional ; assured enough to be uninhibi ted; in love enough to give not a rap for what more conventional

people may think . . . . Let t ing unconvent ional wisdom flow . . . let t ing

clowns speak truly . . . lett ing myself delight in unlikely sources of wisdom

• . . lett ing love play freely . . . lett ing the inner hear t sing and dance and appear as foolish as it needs . . . .

They ' l l say I took a crazy road,

full of holes and liable to flood; They ' l l say I led you up a creek

and shoved you in the mud. They ' l l call me clown, they ' l l stare and frown,

look down their nose at me, They ' l l say my dreams are all absurd,

conventions always by most preferred. They ' l l say I lead you all astray,

they ' l l say, they ' l l say, they ' l l say - - So let them say, jus t what they may,

it makes no difference to our way. Let clowns be wise, with joy surprise:

They lead to true delight.

M I S S I O N

To communica te his experience of God - - this becomes increasingly the desire shaping Ia [go ' s tile, Tkte first mis~i(m iu V~cer~z~. ~,tre~,d,] ~efe~ed ~ is one of the first and most delightful public at tempts. It has the spontanei ty of enthusiasm and immediacy of overflowing goodwill. They must have seemed a very scruffy group of strangers in that most immacula te of

INIGO 87

Pal ladian cities, but the main themes of the Exercises somehow shone

through their unconvent ional clownings. Delight in the Lord is In igo ' s constant message. Express this delight

every way and any way that comes to hand: sing it; dance it; clown it; proclaim it - - in every broken tongue and l imping movement . Let t ing love o v e r f l o w . . , let t ing G o d ' s love dance and sing its way into cold h e a r t s . . . let t ing broken words evoke new hope . . . let t ing Inigo turn you on[ . . .

Tell all the town God loves them, tell them he loves us still;

Tell everyone you meet there, tell them love is his will.

O u r God is loving forever; nothing can change his mind.

Tell all the city, show all the people, share with the world the G o d who's love,

Tell all the people to show their neighbours , to show the world God loves us now.

Tell all the people that they can share love with all the world G o d ' s loving now.

Tell all the people how they can share love with all the world G o d ' s loving now.

You can fight and kill and lie and steal, you can fall on the ground for dead,

But the Lord will lift you up again; he gives you his life instead.

O u r God is a God of forgiveness; he meets us where we fall.

He makes his new world out of ashes, out of weakness strengthens us all.

Rejoice in the Lord, mank ind restored, all life has meaning;

Come jo in in the dance, your smile, your glance, his love revealing,

His gifts from above show clear his love, evoke thanksgiving.

His presence is now, show all men how, delight is living.

Fal l ing down drea ry ways, stretched out on broken ridges, Where man forever strays, Jesus forever bridges. Picking up broken parts , smoothing the careworn creases, Liv ing in lonely hearts, healing the broken pieces. Rise on the crest of the wave he is walking,

move to the touch of the breeze that he blows.

88 INIGO

Jesus lives now in the sway of his people, Jesus b rea thes now on the brea th of his name.

Dance on thescrest of the wave he is walking, lift to the touch of the breeze that he blows.

Jesus lives On in the love of his people,

Jesus breathes now on the breath of his name. Dance on the crest of the wave he is walking, Lift to the touch of the breeze that he blows.

L I F T H I G H .

The deepest most constant affection in Inigo is that of j oy and delight; 'a l leluia ' is its expression. The ul t imate truth about Inigo, as it is of Jesus, is that there is always hope, always resurrection, always a process towards

greater glory - - greater joy - - greater delight! This was a t ime in his life when, Inigo tells us in his story, it was like old t imes again: the re-

exper iencing in a new situation and with new companions and a new mission the first delights of his conversion.

Inigo lets himself be nur tu red by past delight - - lets them link to present ones to enhance them and continue the process. Let t ing Jesus rise in his h e a r t . . , let t ing joy flood o v e r . . , lett ing delightful memories enhance the present times . . . let t ing the j o y of the risen Lord be incarnate now . . . .

Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia O u r Lo rd is here, he 's l iving today, He lives in us, he 's showing his way. His heart is open, his hands are held high, Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia. H e plays his flute, he sings us his song, H e lifts our hearts, he says ' C o m e along . . . ' I am your freedom, your hope, your delight, alleluia Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia:

L A S T O R T A

La Storta today is a ra ther ugly roman suburb. La Storta in In igo ' s t ime was no great centre either; yet it is at La Stor ta that Inigo received enligh- t enment as great, some would say, in its own par t icular way, as those he received at Manre sa and by the Cardoner . At La Storta, Inigo experienced the answering by God to his then constant prayer : ' M a r y , place me with your Son . . . . ' It was a simple enough prayer , but its layers of mean ing are

I N I G O 8 9

l i terally infinite. La Storta is, therefore, in a typically ' in igot ic ' down-to- ear th kind of way, a most par t icular meet ing place of heaven and earth, God and man; Inigo and J e s u s - under the mantle and media t ion of M a r y - but not in any sickly sent imental sense; ra ther the deeply affectionate, profoundly prac t ica l sense, so typical of all In igo ' s dealings

with God and man - - and Mary . He asked to be accepted as one of the f am i ly . A~d he was. A n d so are his companions to this day. Inigo experienced the deepest meanings of belonging to the family that is God - - and Mary . Let t ing M a r y place me with her s o n . . , let t ing Jesus give his fr iendship . . . let t ing God lead me into his family . . . .

Mother of evening leading now to new hopes near old hills.

M o t h e r whose heeding ' s brea th ing now what day ' s mean ing distills.

Mothe r of twilight, my light in shadows and evening ' s da rk fears.

Mothe r whose morn ing ' s dawning in hearts where his glory appears .

M a r y place me with your son, let his name make me free. M a r y place me with your son, l e t his life flow through me. Lead us to where we best can share all his loving can give,

Make us his home, wherever we roam, let his love grow through

US.

T u r n i n g as tides turn, rising, falling and always by me, Wi th me in sadness, in my joy as she walks on my sea. Silver as sunlight, blue as the sky

when the s torm clouds have passed; M a r y at evening, spreading new meaning

in each son 's new heart .

N E W W O R L D S

So we come to the last section of the story. I t is an open-ended section. It explicitly includes everyone who is any way shares it. So it is including you, reading this now: you are par t of it by your very pat ience in this ' in igot ic ' p i lgr im process - - still continuing!

Inigo is indeed a man of all worlds and all t imes, because he is a very par t icular man of a very par t icular t ime: and in that very par t icular i ty he became a man of G o d - - the God of all t imes and places. This paradoxical stretching of too famil iar meanings is his par t icular gift to the world: God is now; God is at home in his world where we let h im be; God can still be

90 INIGO

sought and found in all things - - in all worlds; he has amazing ways of letting his presence be discerned in most unlikely places and delightfully odd people like Inigo and me and you . . . ; and more painfully and peremptorily, in the marginalized, alienated, poor, weak, unwanted,

starving, oppressed millions, who, in the very injustices of their experience, cry out to us to let him be incarnate . . . . Letting God be present n o w . . . letting him speak in the poor and the oppressed . . . letting their sound resonate in our world . . . letting the first world hear the third . . . letting the third world disclose God ' s presence n o w . . , letting all worlds, all times coalesce in Christ . . . .

It makes no difference where on earth we are, no matter near or far

This bond of love, gift from above, binds us through all his worlds

His name is now; he shows us how to find everywhere,

His burden light, his way delight, • he speaks through all that is.

Ou r home is where the need is clear for justice, faith and love to grow;

New worlds to heal, new ways to feel: new spirals of delight.

T H E E N T E R P R I S E

The enterprise is an allusion to St Edmund Campion ' s celebrated 'Bragge' :

his wonderfully f lamboyant sixteenth-century challenge to the narrow complacency of some of his fellow Englishmen. It is also an apt description of Inigo 's last years at h i sdesk in Rome, hammer ing out through prayer and discernment the Consti tutions of the Company of Jesus: the values we strive to make real; tile mean ing of our mission; the ways of letting the kingdom grow in this world and the next . . . . Lett ing the initiatives be t a k e n . . , letting the enterprise b e g i n . . , letting the kingdom grow through the p a i n . . , letting the poor come h o m e . . , letting the cries be heard and answered . . . letting justice grow . . . lett ing aliens come home, lives be stretched, live, break open to a wider world. Lett ing pilgrims go on travelling . . . letting Christ dawn . . . and shine . . . .

The expense has been reckoned, the enterprise is hegun So the faith was planted, so now it must be restored, All companions of Jesus, at one in the one Lord Share now his new freedom, spread his truth in love.

INIGO 91

Behind all the masks and beneath all the din,

all hearts are seeking; Deep in the centre of every h u m a n being

lives G o d ' s loving likeness. So listen for the whisper that echoes every word,

listen tbr the longing, Deep in the centre of every h u m a n being

grows G o d ' s last ing meaning.

W e walk the world as poor men walk; we have no lasting home, W e walk the world as Jesus walked; we feel the naked earth. W e hear the sounds of poor men ' s cries,

the broken hopes, the dying sighs, Jesus our Lord cries there, Jesus our King,

in the sounds of poor men ' s needs.

W e ' r e alien in our native lands, outsiders in our homes; A spirit deeper than this world ' s works in our deepest souls. He leads to places dark with death,

the very air would choke your breath, Jesus our Lord breathes there, Jesus our King,

through the choking air of death. W e ' r e pi lgrims to a world beyond, we br idge until we break; We dance like children to his tune,

we lift his world awake. We see his ra inbow, seek his land,

each dawn reveals his outstretched hand: Jesus our Lord lives here, Jesus our King,

with each rising dawn he comes.

T H E S U N

In English it is an easy pun: sun and son. For all its simplicity, it has a central mean ing for Inigo. Chris t revealed himself to Inigo in the image of the sun: the sun that shines, warms, comes close, sends out its rays. This basic image links In igo ' s insights with those of the natura l religions his companions learned to listen to and share and complete in Jesus: the Incas of Peru, with their beautiful ri tuals of anchoring the sun and pul l ing it back after the winter solstice, a round their capstan at Macch Picchu - - and so many other endlessly rich associations. Not surprisingly, it has become the emblem of the C o m p a n y of Jesus. Let t ing the Son grow, let t ing the sun send rays . . . let t ing the light re turn and s p r e a d . . , let t ing Jesus be light • . . enlightening, a toning all . . . .

92 INIGO

Bring the sun from the skies, catch the wind as it flies; Hold the waters in movement , here let Jesus be born; Live the moment that 's passing, now let Jesus be born.

Bring the sun from the skies, let me see with new eyes, Let me see Jesus coming, dawning now in his world. Bring the sun from the skies, let me see with his eyes, Let me see Jesus coming, br inging love to his world. Bring the sun from the skies, let me see through his eyes, Let me see Jesus coming, growing now in his world.

Come to distant lands to seek him, come with healing hands to greet him,

Come to us to seek his presence here. Come to us today, we meet you,

come to us and say 'we need you ' ,

Come to us to find his presence here.

Come to share our wrongs, br ing Jesus,

come to hear our songs, sing Jesus, Come to us to share his presence heire.

Weql spread our wings to reach beyond the clouds to the sun,

Let him come! We' l l hitch our hopes to heaven 's shining light: Jesus 's rays, Rainbow blaze]

His warmth will reach our innermost hearts: Jesus 's light, Deep delight! His eyes will pierce our darkest clouds: Jesus 's eyes Fill our skies! W a r m our world . . . reaching out . . . .

William Hewett S.J.