IN MY OWN SWEET TIME:Making Time For Ourselves

MAKING CHOICES

Choose what you WANT to do set priorities - self, family, work. Choose what you CAN do

You can do everything you want, just not at the same time

PHASES

The Five Balls

The Work Ball The Home and Family Ball The Relationships Ball The Friends Ball The Self Care Ball

The SELF CARE Ball

SOLO TIME

Take time for yourself. Find a space where you do not have to be responsible for anyone or anything.

Ask for solitude; offer to partner “Investment”

When I was young, I loved to…

If I had more time, I would …

What’s stopping you from doing that now?

What prevents me from doing what I would love to do is…

Set your goals

Or you spend your time meeting other people’s goals!

It’s not “How busy are you?

It’s “What are you busy doing?”

Reasons why women do not set goals

Not convinced of the value of setting a goal for themselves

Too busy to think of one Setting a goal implies a firm commitment Fear of failure in reaching a goal Are in a relationship, and are too busy

helping partner with his goals Fear of success, fear jealousy

Give yourself permission to take a break.

Let go of the guilt – 3 steps.

Investment.

Let’s do nothing.

How hard is this to do?

Why is it so hard to do nothing?

Empty time is associated with negative connotations – loss, need, desolation,

Being active and busy has Value, Virtue, Significance

Being busy is a defense – against grief, rage, anxiety, guilt, regret, sadness

-We don’t know what to do

How to Make Time

Prioritizing – set this as a goal for yourself

Protecting – don’t try to convince others you need to do it. Just say you are “unavailable, booked, have other plans…”

Promise Keeping – write it down like a patient appointment. Follow through

Ways To Find More Time

Delegate tasks and responsibilities Group similar tasks eg. phone calls Use technology, but limit it Minimize time watching TV Minimize interruptions; close your door Get up 15-30 minutes earlier Buy time – clean, cook, paint, gardening

“Someday” is not an eighth day of the

week.

“Me” Time

What would I do with: 5-10 minutes 1 hour 2 hours Half-day Full Day

With less than 30 minutes, I could…

With less than 30 minutes, I could…

Stop whatever I am doing. Breathe. Stretch Mindful meditation Read a magazine Listen to my favorite song Laugh out loud Call a friend Write in my journal Drink more water. Go for a pee

With an hour, I could…

With an hour, I could…

Read a book Take a walk Play music Go to Starbucks Practice yoga Sleep

With a free half-day, I could…

With a free half-day, I could…

Exercise Go to a spa Play hooky. Visit a museum Browse around a bookstore Fly a kite Skinny dip

With a whole day free, I could…

With a whole day free, I could…

Ski Go for a hike Try out a new recipe Go for a drive in the country Go sailing Not be available, and not check my

email or voice mail

Deal with your Guilt

Rule to follow