I'M TOO TIRED TO GO ON ANY LONGER

8/13/2019 I'M TOO TIRED TO GO ON ANY LONGER

1/18

IM TOO TIRED

TO GO ON ANY

ANY LONGER

JACK GALMITZ


2/18

In this time all we can do

is wear the mask of a face.

Our features are too monstrous.

Anything would be afraid.

The ancient cities are pockmarked

collapsed where the dead decay.

Dogs sniff them out. Sometimes parts

are found. Small arms and legs

of children whose childhood was destroyed,

dancing boys delighting rich apostate men.

Is that whistling in the dark

a man or a bomb? Or both? hat do you think?

!laces of prayer are dangerous, as are restaurants,

go"ernment buildings and ba#arres.

It is bi#arre. !eople are afraid to go out

on their streets, like prisoners locked indoors.

In this time all we can do is co"er our faces,

or what were faces now melted with acetylene torches.

This is the age of the deformed. It is all the rage.

as wars at home and abroad burn on and on.


3/18

The lake meets itself at the shore.$ocks are smoothed and hard to walk on.

The family has waited its hour after lunch before swimming. The youngerones wear inflated tire tubes to keep afloat. The fathers submerge and appear

face to face with their children who shout in glee and fear in their throats.

They do not speak %nglish. They are happy. The lake does not speak at all.

The floats do not speak %nglish. The hamburgers and hot dogs did not speak

to them in anything but their own tongue. &or did the wine and beans and

plantain at all. The sky's clouds scamper across a language of their own. The

women watch from the lawn. They are there to take care so the children and

men can be what they are. They are ha"ing fun on their one day off. They

dro"e out of the stultifying heat of the city to another state for the first time.

It was e(citing and scary. here they came from such mo"ement was notpermitted. &aturally they were afraid of the enforcers of the law. )ut the

buoyancy of the body, the bobbing tubes on the small tide was a *oy. The

radio played music o"er all their sounds+ guitars, bombos, maracas. It swam

across the lake. It swam inside of them. It was what allowed them to swim.

hen they got home to the torrid heat of the cement streets and their small

apartment walls, they were refreshed after all with ad"enture and music

could be heard all o"er, e"en in the graffiti that co"ered e"ery wall.


4/18

You are the only thing on earth

that I would miss. alling you a thingdoesn't sound right, but I can't think

of another word that co"ers it.

I confess that creating a catalogue

of one who would be missed

is not romantic+ but that's the way

it is and you're it. -ook, you know

you're not e(actly respectful

or sensiti"e of my needs, so let's toss

out true lo"e and do with what is.

Other things+ like clothes, or books,

or treasured sounds, colors, shapes

and pets and praise+ I can li"e without.

They ha"e outli"ed their usefulness

and pro"ed unefficacious. -ook now

woman who *ust got her dentures+

you can't be a temptress when you

don't ha"e your own teeth. The

plates are prosthetics, so gushingwords for you would not be fit.

It's enough for me that you would

be missed. It's true and how many

things can you say of this.


5/18

The flatness of the surface defies

the weight and dimensions of ob*ects.

Instead, it deifies spirit

without space and time.

That is why the hinese ideogram for poem +

shi is a word that needs

no other dimension than a surface of bamboo.

So it is in all ancient and religious

art. /ra"en images remo"ed.

Thus we engage in contemplation of ob*ects

and sub*ects on the page as if it were a temenos.

This is our 0uandary. Although our words are not

things, the creation of sacred space is. !erhaps,

the kabalistic word Da"arim would help.

The term means words, acts, things, and deeds

all in one. 1ow wonderful it is.


6/18

I did not kill god.

I was busy that day,

working at my trade

repairing worn or torn

shoes. I worked the entire

day they made him drag

a cross through the way of pain.

I was nobody. %"en

my wife disobeyed

and my son, well,

he had little use for me.I had enough trouble already2

my own people threatened

to stone me if I didn't keep

the Sabbath day holy.

I had to work mending shoes,

so my family could eat and ha"e

clothes. ommoners were not

guilty of god's death3

lea"e them alone.And bring me some shoes.


7/18

I play Hearts on my computer.

It's nostalgic and brings me backto a simpler time.

hen I played with people I learned

to e(pect repetitious strategies, re"enge and rage.

So I play against the computer to a"oid these things.

-ately, I'm beginning to sense

the three computer players

work together against me.

I'm not the most stable person,

but I'm not so ill as to attribute human

0ualities to machines.I swear these players sometimes

trick me so I ha"e to eat the 0ueen.

I play the ne(t hand "engefully.

I usually lose these games.

I'm wondering if any of you

ha"e e(perienced the same.

If so please let me know+ it would

allow me to feel okay.


8/18

clutter every

where how to

get ridof it or

make something

of

it

it

s fall

ing a

part

a world

onceunder

stood

sensible

parked

a motel'

s neon

sign

in the dark

thatcars pass

off on

their way

somewhere

else


9/18

I'm riddenby the sea

by the mother

lost mere

ly

al

ways

look

ing

for a mooring

will

yu

be


10/18

we spokeof time

as inter"entions

in what

would be

uncompromised

readings of

the heart's

trape#e

the electrocardiographyof hori#ontal

in a richer shade

of green


11/18

marginalia

in most

cases e(cess

periwinkle

sorrel

shoots in filtered

light

successors

or may

shootings

hit 4runs

the inner

cities some

how

appendages

the surplus

that sustains

desire, worth

recognition

of the 0uestionable

presence purity

of the once

original

source


12/18

Phil Ochs where are you now

in the crowd, in the crowd

!hil Ochs for you I shed tears

don't you dare, don't you dare

!hil Ochs I'm scared

I care, I care

!hil Ochs 55 percent despair

I'm aware, I'm aware

!hil Ochs the mo"ement died

I'm not surprised, I'm not surprised

!hil Ochs the obblies mo"ed

it's true, it's true, I should ha"e known sooner

!hil Ochs I don't know what to do

li"e in the world that was made by you

!hil Ochs I li"e and speak with the dead

I know, I took my life with my own hand


13/18

The monochrome turns

out to be the sky

those specks

birds in flight

what is it about the sudden

flight of birds scared up

why do we embrace it

the spread of black wings

the closing up the e"ening

the doom that steps

with our e"ery step

like a child stretching to place

his footprints in footprints

large and pre"iously left

in the snow by a grown up

gone now to warmth or cold


14/18

As a boyI sat in the back seat of the carand looked out the window at occasional cows

and horses gra#ing when we were on a "acation

6sometimes they were mating7and white churches and small towns

or the arrangement of stores

if we were on a neighborhood outing

4 I was silent and ne"er spoke to my parents

up front who were always earnest on the

traffic or the yellow lines gla#ed on black asphalt

this e(plains my current perspecti"e

why I see things framed as in a window

4 paint or write depending on atmospheric pressure

4 why e"erything I place together is pasticheone thing gi"ing way to another

not necessarily related e(cept in spatial

arrangements I relate from memory

4 associations and whate"er fits the occasion

so, I recommend to parents to seat their children

in the back seat of their car whene"er they are able

or, if they want their children to be like them more,

speak to them and sometimes turn and face them


15/18

In unclaimed landa forestI go to rest 4 0uiet

there is an old piano

untuned Owood warped and faded

4 tree branches

encased in ice clatter

a tune that I play

learned on my own

the remaining piano keys

chatter it's cold

sometimes I take a stick

4 strike the stones

in 4 out of the fro#ento add some percussion

or crack some forming ice

as the soprano


16/18

Throw yourselfto the skylike a piece of paper

plane hurled by a delin0uent

boy it is fall so bebe a bowling ball

in the gutter rumbling

or be nothing at all


17/18

In a ird !agea man singing or chanting

people e(changing names

4 sundry soundsin the background

4 foreground the two

can be e(changed

without potlatch

or shame

I recei"e

the world is there

sounds of traffic

different, mean nothing

but action, louder 0uieter,sculpture in space that

remains actions

4 silence as a foray

the sound of trees,

walls, 0uarries, 0uarters,

beggars, night, me,

amplified cacti,

a feather, water walk,

randomly, randomlyrandomly, randomly

on a toy piano

a prepared piano,

so &ew 8ork ity

was really built as

an a"iary and not

a cage


18/18

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I'M TOO TIRED TO GO ON ANY LONGER