I'm Coming Lord

7/28/2019 I'm Coming Lord

1/33


2/33

IM COMING, LORD

CONTEMPLATIVES IN RELATION

Jos Ignacio Gonzlez Faus

1. CHRISTIAN CONTEMPLATION AND RELIGIOUS CONTEMPLATION ...................

2. INITIATION INTO CONTEMPLATION AND MYSTERY .............................................

3. PRACTICAL ORIENTATIONS .........................................................................................

CONCLUSION .......................................................................................................................

NOTES .................................................................................................................................. 31

29

15

9

3


3/33

The companions of Ignatius Loyola used to say that he was a contemplative in

action. This doesnt ignore the fact that the saint spent hours in prayer. Rather it

indicates the flow of contemplation: from pure inactivity to human action.

And the main arena of human action is precisely relations. Being busy with things

and nature, with study and art, may require attention; but for a contemplative soul

such activities easily open up windows onto the mystery of the beyond. By con-trast, interpersonal relations make such an opening much more difficult: not only

because of selfishness our own and that of others but because of the mystery,

the complexity, and differences we find in human beings. Also because of the fast

paced, casual nature of many of our relations.

The following considerations make an earnest attempt to extend the Ignatian motto

(contemplatives in action) toward the further summit of being contemplatives in

relation, so that there we may hope to find the greatest treasures of a life shaped

by faith and the following of Jesus Christ.

Jos I. Gonzlez Faus, s.j. is in charge of the Theological DepartmentofCristianisme i Justcia.

The Fundaci Llus Espinal lets it be known that its data are registered in a file under the name BDGACIJ, legaltitle of the Fundaci Llus Espinal. These are used only for providing the services we render you and for keeping

you informed of our activities. You may exercise your rights of access, rectification, cancelation or opposition bywriting to the Fundaci in Barcelona, c/Roger de Llria, 13.

CRISTIANISME I JUSTCIA Edition, Roger de Llria, 13 - 08010 BarcelonaTel. 93 317 23 38 - Fax: 93 317 10 94 - [email protected] - www.cristianismeijusticia.netPrinted by: Edicions Rondas S.L. - Dipsit Legal: B-4.229-2012 - ISBN: 978-84-9730-288-3ISSN: 2014-6566 - ISSN (virtual edition): 2014-6574 - June 2012Translated by Joseph Owens - Cover illustration: Roger TorresPrinted on ecological paper and recycled cardboard


4/33

3

1.1. Theological foundation

For that very reason, our statementregarding the particularity of Christiancontemplation requires that we demon-strate this from the Christian textsthemselves, and so we will begin withthem. Let us take note, then, of the fol-lowing characteristics, all pointing inthe same direction.

a) Myriad modern theologians haverepeated endlessly that Jesus spoke very

little about God and a great deal about

Gods Reign and that he did not talkabout seeking God first but aboutseeking first the Reign of God and his

justice. Jesus did not urge people to beconverted to God, but rather told themto prepare themselves to enter theKingdom of God (or to be converted soas to be able to enter it). These aspectsof Jesus preaching are nowadays un-

questioned and could be developed fur-ther.

1. CHRISTIAN CONTEMPLATION AND RELIGIOUS

CONTEMPLATION

Putting contemplation at the heart of interpersonal relations is some-thing very particular to Christianity. This is too often forgotten we makewholehearted attempts to reconcile Christian faith with the generalhuman tendency to be religious and to make our faith emerge from that.The fact that something is very particularly Christian certainly doesntmean that it is any less human. Rather, the reverse is true: it is what ismost profoundly human (and therefore observable also from outsideChristianity). But it does have the meaning that Dietrich Bonhoefferoften repeated in his letters from prison: the God who reveals himself

in Jesus Christ turns upside down everything that religious peoplemight expect of God.


5/33

b) The truth is that Jesus does notgive lessons in theology or spirituality.He does not reveal the attributes ofGods being (calling God Abba doesnot reveal a divine attribute but a way

of relating to God). Plain and simply,Jesus announces Gods incredible lovefor human beings, so that Luke (chapter15) even compares it with what moneyis for human beings: God truly rejoiceswhen a single one of the lost sheep isfound again (just as the rich man feelsgreater joy about recovering the millionhe lost than he does about the nine mil-

lion that were never in danger).Accord-ingly, Jesus is positively thrilled whenhe sees that those who are despised byhuman societies understand the mys-teries of God better than the wise and

powerful do.c) Jesus marvels at nature: he points

to the beauty of the lilies and the free-dom of the birds, he knows about the

tender care required by a grape vine ora fig tree, and he is amazed by the vital

power which makes a seed grow byitself while the laborer sleeps. Still,when inviting us to pray, Jesus does nottell us to give thanks or to becomeabsorbed in the mystery of the universe(although this, of course, may also bethe case). The prayer Jesus teaches us

invites us to ask for the coming ofGods Reign, which means the triumphof what is fully human: sufficient foodfor all and reconciliation among thoseestranged. In a word, justice and peace.

Like Jesus, Augustine was highlysensitive to the beauty of nature butwhen he sought God in the glories of

nature he heard a voice telling him:Seek what is above us1. The reason

for this is that, while natural beauty cansuggestGod, only history manifests thewillof God. And history is the weavingtogether of all our human relations.

This teaching of the Nazarene is

made magnificently explicit after hisResurrection, which the scriptures seeas the recapitulation of the whole uni-verse (Ephesians 1,14). Let us look atsome examples of that.

d) Chapter three of the letter to theEphesians contains a song expressingthe authors total amazement. The songseems to reflect the profound personalexperience of Paul,2 who is astonished

by the revelation that that all humanbeing are children of one great family:all without exception. He realizes thatthis is simply the consequence of theMystery that has been revealed, the Mys-tery that sustains everything and sur-

passes everything, the Mystery that isactive in all creation and constitutesthe most exalted wisdom, namely,the love of God made visible in JesusChrist. With that revelation, all humanrelations are transformed: they areChristified, divinized. Since thattransformation necessarily affects ourway of viewing relations, our call to becontemplatives in relation runs paral-lel to our understanding of the mys-tery of Christ (Eph 3,4).

e) For the same reason, the firstChristian communities created theformula in Christ or in the Lord,which served to characterize all humanrelations (couples, relatives, master/slave, etc.). All human relations areinserted into a sort of new atmosphere

that transforms them: there are broth-ers, sisters, sons, daughters, inspectors,

4


6/33

and friends in the Lord; there are gree-tings, well-wishes, exhortations inthe Lord, and the mutual belonging ofman and woman is in the Lord3. Thatway of living or being in Christ is

what grounds our contemplation onhuman relations.

f) We can therefore understandbetter the anecdote recounted in earlyChristian tradition about the apostleJohn: when he was almost a hundredyears old, the last living witness of theearthly Jesus, John did little more thanrepeat: love one another, love one an-

other When people complained thathe kept saying the same thing andasked him to tell them something new,the apostle John replied: Its all there,and thats enough. This is a great truth,for there we find faith-hope-charity;there we find God, Christ, the Church,and the best of what is human.

1.2. Consequences

All these considerations, then, indicatea different way of conceiving our faithcommitment (our relation to God). Weare talking about something differentfrom a general religious practice orfrom a type of Christianity which fol-lows Jesus because he is believed to bethe Revelation of God. Our approachalso indicates that Christianity differs

basically from other forms of religionin the way it conceives of prayer andcontemplation. For Christianity, frater-nal love and relations with other per-sons cannot be separated from the rela-tion with God. For that reason, theycannot be separated from Christian

prayer and contemplation either. The

reader should understand that what weare saying is not reductionist (unlesswe want to accuse the Master himselfof being a reductionist); rather, it is amuch more difficult path than the more

common religious one. One might sus-pect that the accusation of reductionismis an excuse fabricated by those whoare trying to escape the approach toGod through what Jesus called thenarrow gate. They seem not to havegrasped the profound theologal trans-formation of human relations inChristianity, as we explained it in the

previous section.We can understand, then, this diary

entries of Egide van Broeckhoven (aBelgian Jesuit worker priest who diedin a workplace accident at age 34):Theres a false contemplative prayer,which happens on the edges of life, andtheres a true contemplative prayerwhich dominates life; God is foundwhen everything is given up for the

sake of this world4.Such Christian transformation

should affect our way of focusing onhuman relations, precisely because it isa revelation which clashes with the mostelemental experience we have: the ar-duous, very difficult task of relatinghumanly to one another. Well known isthe kind comment of John of the Cross,upon his return to Castilla from Jan,when he was gathering chickpeas in thefield: Handling these dead creatures ismore agreeable than being manhandled

by living ones5. We might well addthat today we are living in a historicalepoch when human relations seem tohave deteriorated and when conflictsare constant in all parts: racism and

5


7/33

exclusive nationalism thrive, classwarfare revives, cultures prefer to clashrather than to dialogue, marriages fail,gender violence increases, and political

parties see themselves as totalities and

not just parts of the whole. The cultu-ral autism that we inhale daily encour-ages us to see others as mere objects orentities, not as subjects with absolutedignity.

Whether believers or non-believers,all of us must try to grease the friction

points in our social networks. Otherwisewe run the risk of sliding down a slip-

pery slope and ending up in an unprece-dented catastrophe as if all the catas-trophes we have already provoked inthe course of history were not enough.This booklet, especially the first sec-tions, is addressed mainly to Christians,

but it also aspires, at least in the latterpart, to be of some use to those who donot have the enormous, unmerited

benefit of faith and to those searchersPascal has in mind when he says, Youwould not seek me if you had notalready found me.

1.3. Need to recover the best ofChristianity

In the course of history the Christianmessage has often been obscured, eventhough it has never lost sight of theimportance of what the New Testamentsurprisingly calls the new command-ment. There is no doubt that the Hel-lenization of Christianity played a rolein the distortion of its message. Such a

process was necessary and was indeed

an amazing feat, but like all types ofinculturation, there was a price to be

paid, one that could be seen clearlyonly with the decline of the culture thenadopted by the faith.

We hear stories, for example, ofdesert fathers who went about so

absorbed in God that they didnt evenrespond to those who greeted them onthe road. In a later century Thomas Kempis, in a great classic of Catholicspirituality which has much undenia-

ble value, wrote his famous dictum:Whenever I went out among men, Ireturned less a man (no. 147). The

problem with this saying (which somesay comes not from Kempis but fromSeneca) is not what it states, but that itstates just that and nothing more.

1.3.1. A more Christian anthropology

By contrast, the scriptures and the manJesus never speak this way, even thoughthey are fully conscious of the count-

less dangers involved in human rela-tions. Despite the risks, they teach us(and here faith plays a much larger partthan rational arguments) that humanbeings and their relations to one an-other (free and fraternal) are preciselywhat God loves most, even to the pointwhere he gave them his very ownSon. They also teach us that all greatgoals are reached by steep paths orthrough very narrow gateways.

The Neo-Platonism which envel-oped Christianity tended to see onlythe negative side of human beings; itsought human perfection in fleeingfrom people. Jesus, however, taughtthat even the impure can be an image

of God that should not be rejected butrestored. The sick person should not be

6


8/33

left by the wayside but should be rein-tegrated into the community. Even aharsh exploiter like Zaccheus should begiven a chance. We will take up thesefigures again in the third part, but for

now suffice it to say that the relation-avoidance advice from the ascetical tra-ditions displays more the influence ofStoicism than the presence of Jesus.

In contrast, our determination toseek Christian contemplation in humanrelations themselves is much more inkeeping with modern anthropology,which insists that human beings (and

beings in general) are better defined asrelation than as mere substance. Theevolutionary vision of the world in

biology, and in the philosophy andtheology that flow from it conceivesof reality as a process that is interde-

pendent and relational. All reality isontologically relational, and naturally

much more so personal reality, which isa pale reflection of the being of God, inwhom the person is defined as relation.6

The image and likeness of Godwhich defines humanity (Gen 1,26 ff.)refers, among other things, to the con-sistency and density of the relationalaspect in the definition of the person.

1.3.2. A more Christian theologyThis conception is more in keeping notonly with anthropology, but also withtheology, for one of the most basicmeanings of the dogma of the Trinity is

that God is Absolute Communionand not just the absolute being. Ifsuch is the case, then being submergedin God, as a privileged form of contem-

plation, does not mean simply drown-

ing in metaphysical mystery; rather itmeans being lifted up into an atmos-

phere of relation, into an interpersonalmystery, where the person is defined asrelation: as donation and union.

All this transforms the task of beinghuman into a relational one. Psycho-analysis teaches us that we are sepa-rate beings from the moment of our

birth. Our being separate, which comesabout as soon as the umbilical cord iscut, is the root of our infinite capacityfor desire, which transforms us intodesiring beings who search for a totalfusion which can overcome our sepa-ration. We search for it first at ourmothers breast, then in everything wecan put in our mouth, later still in our

jealousies, our possessiveness, our long-ing for complete sexual union alwaysseeking wholeness in the fog, to para-

phrase a verse from Machado. In theend, hopefully, we learn that the com-

pleteness we yearn for is impossibleand that our growth as persons consistsinstead in seeking the Other and learn-ing to relate to the Other.7

Having thus established the central-ity and the theoretical importance ofour subject, we will now attempt to ap-

proach it through a sort of guided expe-rience (mystagogy).

7


9/33


10/33

2.1. Human mystery and divinemystery

Since that belief is at the heart of ourfaith, Christians should become evermore accustomed toseeing each personwhom they come across in life as amember of Christ and a child of God,someone just like me. This way ofseeing people should be true not onlywith regard to friends, but also whendealingwithstrangers, beggars, bankers,terrorists, relatives, monarchs, enemies,atheists, or bishops. Being Christianmeans viewing every thus consistentlyand then converting that vision into a

decisive factor in the way we treat eachand every person.

Only on this basis can we reachdown into the unique, matchless depthsof each person, beyond all the condi-

tioning of culture, social class, family,medical history, or personal develop-ment. If I remember well, JacquesLeclerq years ago wrote this abouthuman love: the person who truly saysI love you says something completelynew, even though millions of othershave already said the same thing

previously8. In contrast, in mating witha female, the male animal is not doing

9

2. INITIATION INTO CONTEMPLATION AND MYSTERY

As we have just seen, Christian faith takes very seriously the belief that

human beings are images or reflections of God, much more so than thebeauty of nature, the immensity of sea and desert, the mysteries ofthe starry sky, or all those other sparks that seem to speak to us aboutGod. The seriousness of that belief is not diminished but is even in-creased, and that, despite our Christian hymns about Your image en-shrouded with guilt or sometimes, more than enshrouded, destroyedor shattered. This obscuring of the divine image can cause difficultiesfor our proposed project, but


11/33

anything new or original. The perennialnovelty of the human person, which isthe source of the persons sacred dignityas mentioned earlier, holds true for allmen and women, not just for those of

ones own family, nation, race, or reli-gion. But it is not at all easy for us toreach this point, to attain this vision andmaintain this posture: it is like a horizonthatwecanmovetowardbutneverquitereach. Still, even though the horizon isnever attained, walking in that directioncarries human life into surprising, un-known territories. The true object ofwhat tradition called asceticism9 is thetraining of the will and human sen-sibility for precisely that type of seeingand that way of being in the world.Christian asceticism is not a project ofcosmetic surgery. Rather it is trainingthat helps us discover the unsuspectedriches and hidden treasures involved

in human relations. Our relations travelalong that path in a kind of unendingmarathon, progressing from man (orwoman) as object to man (or woman)as mystery. Thus we understand betterthe observation of Egide van Broeck-hoven: The deepest detachment makessense only as a stage toward the deepestattachment.10

Christians undertake this asceticaleffort out of a profound conviction andexperience of their own helplessness,

but always trusting that whatever littleeffort they make, directed by whatChristian faith calls the Breath (Spirit)of God, can carry them to unsuspectedgoals, for which they are most grateful.In this trusting effort they will find thatmany of the dimensions present in all

relations become enriched and reor-dered; though at first they may appearcontradictory, they are capable of beingharmonized as people mature.

We can see this exemplified in thesurprising duality between the twoforms of human relating that are at oncethe most beautiful and the most spon-taneously contemplative: friendshipandlove. Love always longs for greaterunion and realizes that its longing isnever quite fulfilled. On the other hand,in friendship even the poorest and

simplest gesture opens up a tremendousprospect of union.We see, then, that loveand friendship, the two peaks of everyhuman relation, are not simply opposed:rather, both are partial and have their

proper spheres and moments as regardsthe material aspect of the relation. Atthe same time, as regards the formalelement of the relation, they are comple-

mentary: they add rather than subtract.Both types of relation can thereforespeak of God and can refer us to him.

That is why nothing that we aresaying here should be understood tomean that being a contemplative inrelation does not require times ofsolitude and personal contemplation.The only point we make is that such

personal prayer should in large measurebe a school and a way of preparing forthis other contemplation, which is moredifficult and does not burst forth sponta-neously. Other persons should often

be the subject matter of our prayer, inaccord with the teaching of an oldmaster of the spirit: praying is notlooking at God but looking at theworld with the eyes of God.

10


12/33

2.2. From the God glimpsedto the God revealed

In human life there are experienceswhich suggest transcendence or which

at least invite us to enter into them tosearch for something more. Such are theexperience of beauty or gratuitous kind-ness, the experience of immensity in thedesert or before the sea, the experienceof majesty in mountain peaks, or theexperiences of human relationships,of plenitude and peace (in music), or oflove (a pleasant sensation of fusion).

In reality, all these experiencesspring from an intimate closeness tobeing and from an awareness of beingas something both real and incredible.The Jorge Guilln expresses it in a suc-cinct, trinitarian form: Amazement at

being: sing!11 There is the threefoldreality: being itself, the amazed con-sciousness of being (the Logos), and the

bliss of being (the song).12All these glimpses of transcendence

give rise to a variety of religious atti-tudes, and often there is talk of anoceanic feeling as the basis of thesearch for God a concept much moreappropriate than fear, which only knowshow to forge idols.

So then, what is specific to Chris-tianity at the level of attitudes (asopposed to contents) is to be found inthe invitation to listen, since God isresponsive to those glimpses of tran-scendence: what you glimpse is morewithin your reach than you think, but itis there where you least expect it: in the

poor and the sick, where all seemsemptied out and extinguished. Thus, ifthe particularity of religious eros arises

from the seek above which Augustinethought he heard, the particularity ofChristian eros is rather to seek below.This transformation of religious eros isimperative for Christians. We can cite

here a pertinent phrase from the Ignatiantradition: the divine is that whichcannot be bound by what is greatest andyet is contained in what is smallest13.This perspective also helps us tounderstand the saying that summed upthe faith experience of Etty Hillesum:helping God14. We are invited to helpGod not to die (when we receive him in

his disfigured aspect) and to be born orto grow (or be reborn) in others.

That is the surprising Christianparadox: adoring God becomes helpingGod, and helping our fellow human

becomes adoration of God. BesidesEtty Hillesum, Dietrich Bonhoeffer andother Christian witnesses of the lastcentury testified to this paradox in athousand different ways. They help usmake sense of what Jesus recommendedto the Samaritan woman: we are toadore God, not in this place or that, butin spirit and in truth because God isspirit, and those who worship him mustworship in spirit and truth (Jn 4,23).

Interestingly, these same witnesses

testify that this attitude ends upbecoming something that might becalled experience of resurrection. Inthe testimonies of worker priests andmany missionaries (sometimes martyrs)of the third and fourth worlds, thisexperience of resurrection in death isfrequent. It is what Archbishop Romeroalluded to in an interview: If they kill

me, I will rise again in my people. Hehad no intention of denying the future

11


13/33

resurrection, but rather was anticipatingit, for he saw that the resurrection ofChrist takes place, as if sacramentally,whenever men and women who areoppressed, maltreated, or negated be-

come truly liberated and humanized.Accordingly, a true mysticism for

contemplatives in relation would dowell to recall that Christianity is not areligion of death, nor is it a religionof resurrection. Christianity is a faith ofresurrection in death. In this processdeath is not properly sought; it is sur-

passed, as happened with Jesus. Simi-larly, resurrection is not sought but isgiven freely and (in any case) hoped for.So it happened also with Jesus.

Finally, in this movement from Godglimpsed to God revealed, human

beings end up discovering their own im-potence. And it is that discovery whichhelps them relate differently to God,

who despite being infinite and beyondall manipulation, never ceases to be theirRock, their Fortress, and their Refuge, asthe psalms intone countless times over.

2.3. From the God revealed torebellious reality

In keeping with the Christian paradox,

it is precisely this total reference to Godthat makes believers use every humanmeans within their reach (analysis,discernment, training, and patience) inorder to receive the help of God whoenriches us by his poverty, makes usgrow with his weakness, and is withus in his abandonment.15

In light of this, we need to add tothese reflections a third part, which will

help us seek out practical ways andcriteria for growth and action in this

program of being contemplatives inrelation. As I mentioned already, thisfinal section may be also be useful for

non-believers who, despite what theythink is their lack of faith, may discernsomething of truth and beauty in whatwe have so far explained and may also

be searching for a certain mystique ofhuman relations.

Nevertheless, in this final part of ourbooklet, the author should gradually

disappear, lowering his voice and be-coming ever more invisible. The reasonfor this is that there are no prefabricatedrecipes. Each of us has to work towardmastering our own life, learning byourselves, and finding our own unique

path. A discourse which addresses awide audience can only suggest, notaffirm; it can only orient us, not dictate

to us. It cannot expound theologicalsystems and constructions; it can onlycondense or processhuman experiences.

That is what we will make a modestattempt to do in the next part, but beforethat, for lack ofconcrete recipes, we willtry to smooth the transition by offeringa reflection on love, which seems to bethe prototype of all human relations

and the peak to which all of them point.

2.4. From reality to the lovewhich is of God

We can define love in general terms asthe gift of oneself, made with completeand absolute freedom, for the growth ofthe other. That would be the summitof the whole general process of de-

12


14/33

siring the good of the other, which cul-minates in more particularized forms(such as the love of couples and friend-ship) with the added note ofmutual gift.Using this definition, we are better able

to point out the deficiencies or deforma-tions of love, which are frequent andinterminable among us and which wewill find in many other relationships aswell.

a) We begin with the second charac-teristic of love, the freedom of the gift.Often the gift is not made with thefullest freedom, but for reasons of de-

ceit, seduction, pretended need, etc.Freedom can be falsified in many ways

by humans, but this doesnt mean thatwe must give up hope of true freedom.Rather we must seek it in ever truerforms.

b) The lack of true freedom in thegift can disfigure the goal of freedom,which is the good of the other. One maygive oneself, not for the sake of theothers growth, but to make the otheryield to ones wishes. Or one may giveoneself, but then later send a bill for thegift, calculate the return, etc.

c) These two detours con contributeto a distortion of the noun which defineslove: gift. If the source and the goal ofthe gift are falsified, the gift may besimulated, calculated, short of the justmeasure, etc. I speak expressly of thejust measure because naturally wecannot expect a full and absolute gift ofself in every human relation suchwould be impossible. Only in certainrelations (couples, family, or intimatefriendship) is it possible for the gift ofself to aspire to forms of plenitude. Inmany other cases, love of neighbor will

simply mean freely desiring his/hergrowth. Such desire may well requirecertain levels or gestures of giving, or itmay be limited, depending on circum-stances, to observing attitudes of pro-

found respect.In any case, if we prescind for now

from the many ways of expressing lovepractically, this last mentioned form oflove (disinterestedly desiring the goodof the other) provides us a base for thecontemplative focus of relation. That

base coincides with the classical formu-la of some mystics: loving God in alland all in God.

Loving God in ones neighborsmeans loving what is best in them,whether that is patent or latent; it meansloving in them the presence of GodsSpirit, that which is most intimate tothem and most profoundly theirs. Lov-ing others in God means loving them as

God loves them: helping them make thebest of themselves so that they yieldgood returns on their divine adoption,synonym of freedom and fraternity.

2.4.1. Possible objection

In this way we overcome a false dilem-ma whichwe sometimes hear expressed:If you love your neighbor for God,then you dont love him for himself, sothat the love is cheapened. Those whoargue this way continue to think of Godand human beings as being in competi-tion, instead of being in a relation whichimpels and enables (X. Zubiri). Wemust understand that loving others forGod is the most intense manner of loving them for themselves, becausethere is nothing more profoundly and

13


15/33

preciously theirs than Gods presence inthem.Asopposedtowhathappensinour(less perfect) experience of human love,loving others in God and loving themfor themselves are not related in inverse

proportion; rather, both of them growtogether. When this does not happen(such as when God is really the only

factor in our relation with the other),then we may suspect that we have notyet attained to genuine loving, but onlyto enduring (or maybe pardoning) theother. This does not happen infrequentlyin our relations with one another.

Actually, what we have tried todescribe is more a model than a reality,

but even a tiny dose of insight will makeus see how far we are even from themodel. Just think of that saying of Jesus:Be merciful16 as your heavenly Fatheris merciful. Thus, if we want to becontemplatives in relation, an indispen-sable starting point is to pray constantly

for something that is so easy to say andso apparently close at hand, but often sofar from us: Teach me to love. Let melearn to love as you love. We canhardly conceive a form of Christian lifewhere this kind of prayer is not offereddaily and relentlessly.

Each one of us possesses an impres-sive variety of registers and keys, and

despite all the traits we have in commonwith other persons, they constitute forus an immense kaleidoscope of shiftingtones which we can never pin down ortotally categorize. For that reason the

apprenticeship of love requires of usdiscipline and analysis, for the respon-sibility of love in human beings is greatindeed. Fine sentiments and good willare vitally necessary, but they are notenough. Love implies a personal givingof self. As human persons we are morethan will and sentiments: we are alsointelligence and so are able to grasp

what is real. Passion and discipline aremost fruitful when paired together; theycan be dangerous when theyre di-vorced.

We therefore feel the need to drawup a little catalogue which analyzestheproper attitudes to be sought and thehuman types we might find. These willlead us to ask how God sees the persons

we deal with, so that we can then askourselves: how should we see those

persons and how should we treat them?We can proceed, then, to the third

part of our essay, remembering whatweve already said: mechanical recipesare no use here; only orientations canhelp us. And all of us need to carry outthese analyses for ourselves.

14


16/33

It will be difficult for us to attain thatattitude, however, if we do not cultivatea way of looking at the whole of reality.Such a way of looking encompasses a

profound dialectical theology.a) Our proposal involves a clear

pan-en-theism: this word, whichshould not be confused with pantheism,means that all things exist and subsist inGod. They therefore do not include God,

but neither is God a simple conversationpartner or interlocutor, as privileged aone as we may imagine him to be.

b) At the same time, this way oflooking involves, if Im allowed theexpression, a clear theo-en-pasism,which means God in all things (Greek:Theos en pasi). This is often forgottenwhen mention is made of panentheism.God is in the depths of all things, eventhe tiniest ones. That is why he can

become a privileged interlocutor forpersonal beings.

Rather than a simple interlocutor,God is more like the sea or the atmos-

phere. Nevertheless, we can and shouldaddress him as a conversation partner,

recalling the axiom we cited earlier: Godcannot be bound by what is greatest, yethe is contained in what is smallest.

This general manner of relating tothe world should be cultivated in per-sonal prayer, thus overcoming thenotion of God as a particular individual(and therefore limited despite his great-ness). Even though we can and should

call on God, he is not a particular inter-locutor but an oceanic one he is anocean to which we can relate personal-ly.

3.1. Background attitudes

Such a global vision of reality unfoldswhen we draw close to other human

beings, adopting other attitudes such as

15

3. PRACTICAL ORIENTATIONS

At the level of faith, we have already noted that the attitude we should

seek in human relations is the one described by Saint Ignatius: lovingGod in all and all in God.


17/33

respect, welcoming, fraternal equality,and willingness to listen.

3.1.1. Respect

Foremost is the profound respect thatthe sacred character of every personshould inspire in us. It is a way of open-ing ourselves up to others which in-cludes all our subsequent reactions.

When we enter a church for reasonsother than curiosity or tourism, we are

predisposed to be respectful in the quiet,peaceful ambiance which encourages us

to pray. Well, that same simple attitudewhich we have so often adopted me-chanically should blossom with each

person we meet up with, for each one isa true temple of God. John Chrysos-tom and other Church fathers sometimeschided the faithful with this argument:you worry about covering the walls ofthe church with fine fabrics or images

of Christ. Then, when you go outside,you find a true temple and an image ofthe Living Christ who is naked in thestreet and you walk right by him.

But it is not only the Church fatherswho say this. E. Levinas became famousfor his profound reflections on theface: of all the realities that affect oursenses, the face is the only one that isnot a mere phenomenon (a simpleobject).17 More than that, it is an appeal,a call to respect, to sustenance, tocommunion. The face is what is mostdistinctive about the person.

It may be that in practice that appealis deceitful (and so love is obliged to beintelligent), but that possible dishonesty

does not invalidate the sublime qualityof the face: it is the only object which

does not allow me to remain just a sub-ject but which summons me to be an in-terlocutor and a brother.18 The facecontains a kind of infinitude which

prevents me from trying to capture it and

which destroys my pretensions of to-tality. Therefore contemplation of theface transcends the simple recognition

provided by sight and becomes a callwhich asks to be listened to: If todayyou hear his voice, harden not yourheart, prayed the psalmist.19

This is the basic truth of our rela-tional universe, which we should recalland set in motion every morning, muchas one turns on a cell phone whengetting up. We should ask God to grantus that attitude of almost religiousrespect toward every image of Godwe meet in the course of the day.

And this fountain of respect forevery face we meet will develop in two

directions.

3.1.2. Welcoming

If previously we spoke of the face asthe expression of the other personsappeal, now we can add that the smileis how the face welcomes and expressesthe best of human encounter.

The encounter with each person wemeet in the course of the day is anencounter with Christ or a vicar ofChrist20. As an encounter with some-one we love, it should produce in ussmiles of joy. The gift of the smilereveals a magnanimous frame of mind.We have all experienced how muchmagnanimity facilitates human rela-tions, how much a kindly smile canchange us, how much generous disposi-

16


18/33

tions bring out the best of us in ourdealings with others. Years ago I talkedabout the smile as possibly being a mod-ern form of holiness. Of course, we arenot talking about all those false, insin-

cere smiles, practiced before a thousandmirrors and aimed simply at sellingsome product or taking advantage ofanother person. All that is tragic, but itis also proof of the power of the smile.

The contemplative in relation shouldstrive to be someone who welcomesothers with smiling magnanimity. Thatis why the daily prayer of Christians cannever forget to make a twofold petition:for an attitude of respect before thetemples of the Spirit I meet this day, andfor a disposition which welcomes witha smile the Christs whom I encounter.Saint Alphonsus Rodriguez, for manyyears the porter at the Jesuit college inMallorca, is renowned for the exclama-tion he customarily made whenever heheard someone knocking at the gate:Im coming, Lord!. Such was his re-sponse, even when he had to draghimself with difficulty toward thegateway, feeble with age and loadeddown with heavy keys.

Besides respect and a welcomingattitude, a third petition should perme-

ate Christian prayer and contemplation:an attitude of fraternal closeness to allthose brothers and sisters (children ofGod) who cross our path each day.

3.1.3. Fraternal equality

Briefly, almost in passing, Saint Paulcounseled his Christians to countothers as better than yourselves (Phil2,3), adding that by doing so they would

have the same mind as was in ChristJesus.

If that counsel appears excessive, itwill help to reflect that, if we manage tosee other as better than ourselves, then

we will have a hard time seeing them asequals! Its like the bullet in the joke,which the corporal explained need to beaimed a little above the target since thelaw of gravity would lower its trajectory(but then he explained that, even if therewere no law of gravity, the bullet wouldstill tend to fall by its own weight).Perhaps its our own gravity-bound

weight that Saint Paul had before hiseyes when he offered this advice. Ourneglect of this Pauline counsel perhapsexplains the failure or the meagerrealization of two of modernitys ideals(equality and fraternity). Our reluctanceto practice these ideals has helped tofalsify, sometimes monstrously, thethird: the cry of liberty.

With the help of this Pauline counseland a bit of Freudian jargon we mightsay that other persons constitute oursuper-ego, not in the psychoanalyticsense of self-regarding conscience, butin the sense of response to the invitationof anothers face. We might also say thatGod becomes the supreme Id (capi-talized), again not in the Freudian senseof something external to our ego, but inthe sense of total objectivity, the trueAll as opposed to our partial, minisculesubjectivities, all of which are false.

Profound respect, welcoming smile,and egalitarian fraternity should all bethe first steps in our openness to inter-human relations. Such a global attitude,fully Christian and fully human, shouldthen be molded and woven in quite

17


19/33

diverse ways, according to the endlessvariety of persons, psychologies, andsituations and according to what wesaid earlier about the need for analysisand intelligence, even for love.

Achieving a contemplative view ofour human relations involves a twofoldconviction: the total immanence of Godin his transcendence,but also the auton-omy of reality, which requires that theseglobal attitudes become inculturatedin each individual person and in eachconcrete relation. The people we meetare not persons in general; they are

particular Toms or Sallys or Marys.While some persons will be disarmed bya smile and so won over to a good rela-tionship, others will be more sullen andirascible (as most of us are sometimes);they may be irritated by a smile and will

perhaps look down on our simplicity.

3.1.4. Ability to listenThese three attitudes give birth to afourth, which seems to me basic for re-lations that are founded on contempla-tion: the ability to listen. By this term Ido not mean listening to someone whoneeds us and comes looking for counselor orientation. Doing this may be easier,even though sometimes the interlocutor

is difficult to deal with. But what I amreferring to now is the ability to hearthe

person who disarms us, the one whoremoves our securities. This can some-times be the work of the evil spirit (asthe spiritual classics warn us), but atother times it can be God knocking atour door in search of us.

When is the latter the case? Precise-ly when our listening seems to shatter

our sense of security, when fear makesus cover our ears and makes us unable to

pay attention. I often say that our needtofeelsecureisoneofthegreatesttemp-tations against faith; it can turn faith into

pure superstition or fundamentalism.Years agoR. Bultmannwrote, Christianfaith consists in finding security therewhere security is nowhere in sight21.

There are times in any persons lifewhen the need for security can be suchthat for its sake we sacrifice ourintelligence, our ability to reason, andour ability to listen. In the face of what

might threaten us we have ready-madeanswers, taken from a manual or a cate-chism; we put them forth impulsively,without taking time to understand theother person. We give prefabricatedanswers to every question, withoutallowing ourselves to be invaded bythe question, and much less by what thequestion reveals to us about the true

situation of our interlocutor. This is acharacteristic of all groups or move-ments that are closed in on themselvesand tending to sectarianism.

A graphic example of the point Immaking is the Bosnian movie, In the

Road. Since it treats of Islamic ratherthan Christian fundamentalism, we can

perhaps view it more objectively andnot feel threatened by its message. Thedirector of the movie, however, hasmade it clear that her aim is not tocriticize Islam but to say somethingabout human psychology and religion ingeneral. What she wants to say is this:the protagonist of the film, emergingfrom the catastrophe of war, has lost asense of meaning in life. As a result heturns to alcohol and ends up losing his

18


20/33

job. Soon after that he falls into thehands of a Muslim group, and the faithof these companions restores to him asense of peace, security, and confi-dence and also frees him from alco-

hol. Even though this new situationrequires him to accept certain customshe would previously have disregarded(such as women covering their faces,etc.), such concessions mean little tohim in view of his regained security. Inthe end, this obstinate pursuit of securitymakes him incapable of listening to andunderstanding his girlfriend, with whom

at the beginning of the film he had agood relationship. For each argumentshe gives he has a prepared rebuttal,which he takes out of some doctrinalrepository and repeats mechanically. Heends up feeling satisfied, but she is onthe edge of despair until the relation

breaks off. That is the price of notknowing how to listen, an inability that

results from his walling himself offfrom others for the sake of security.

Of course, we can see immediatelythatisnottrueonlyoftheMuslimworld.In the Catholic sphere also we find(sometimes among bishops) painfultypes of fundamentalism which sacri-fice all genuine understanding of thesurrounding world to the idol of securi-ty. Goaded by such idolatry, fundamen-talism leads either to a sectarian ghettoor to aggressive violence which seeks toeliminate those who are other. Per-sons who react this way never considerthat that troublesome interlocutor is alsoa creature loved by God, someone whoalso has questions and desires; notrealizing this, they become incapable oflistening to others or understanding

them. A more contemplative type of re-lation would lead them to value con-fidence in God above their own securityand not to confuse the one with theother. Instead, their fear makes them

incapable of relating to others; it cutsshort the growth they would experienceif they invested the talents of theirsecurity instead of burying them. Likethe apostle Peter, they sink when theyrealize that they are walking on water

because the realization makes them feelinsecure. And they merit the samereproach that Peter received from Jesus,

O you of little faith.If instead they carefully invested their

talent, they would reap one of the mostrare and valuable of human qualities:the ability to combine great fidelity toones own convictions with a commit-ment to fraternal equality, the ability toembrace what is different.

Having examined these four generalattitudes, we now finally undertake ananalysis of the variety of humanrelations. We do so diffidently, as Ivesaid already, taking note only of certainexamples, without pretending to beexhaustive. We make it clear that,although we may be speaking of others(thus objectifying them), the main

difficulty lies rather in the differentreactions and responses that occurin uswith respect to each type of person.

3.2. Variety of persons

3.2.1. He is with you and you do notrecognize him. The victims

The quoted text is from a hymn thatChristians have been singing for a long

19


21/33

time, and it is sad but significant that thehymn no longer has a prominent placein our liturgies. The hymn describes acontemplative attitude with respect tothose who are victims of the human

system: it challenges us to see in themthe Christ who calls to us through themouths of the hungry or throughthe bodies of those who are imprisoned,infirm, or naked; it summons us to hearand feel in them the cry of God himself.

Here we have an inversion of theinitial revelation of the Bible story (Ihave heard the cry of my people, and

I have come down to deliver them: Ex3,7.8).Nowitiswewhoarebeingaskedto hear the cry of our God and to makehaste to deliver him. That inversion isthe fruit of all the work of God in his-tory, a result of the recapitulation of allthings in Christ, who is his Word (Eph1,14) and of the pouring out of hisSpirit on all flesh (Acts 2,17). Thus,when Ignacio Ellacura views the op-

pressed masses of El Salvador as thepresent-day embodiment of the Servantof Yahweh of Isaiah 53, or when he de-fines them as a crucified people, orwhen the bishops assembled in Pueblaspeak of the faces of Christ to desig-nate the victims of our society (women,unemployed youth, migrants, etc.), theyare urging us to relate to those who aremarginalized with a truly contemplativeattitude.

There is something comprehensibleabout the fact that many people who callthemselves Christians believe that Godis being persecuted when a religious

building is burned down or an ecclesias-

tical institution is criticized (both ofwhich of course are the work of human

hands), but they do not think the samewhen a child of God is maltreated orkilled. Fortunately that mentality has

been changing in recent years. The atti-tude being proposed here has caught on,

or at least is catching on. But there isstill the danger that the change is taking

place only at a theoretical level. We hearonly generic statements about peoplewho are starving, impoverished, andsickly; the words remain abstract. The

power of contemplation and the mean-ing of the hymn we quoted are intensi-fied and radicalized when those abstract

terms take on a visible face and aspecific name, when they cease to be

just a poorwoman or an unemployedyouth and become instead poorSusan or jobless Samuel.

Though there is still much more tobe said, let us grant this point aboutsocietys victims (the poor, the sick, for-eigners, antagonists, who are perhaps

unknown to us but whose reality isimmense and undeniable), and let us passon to other examples: acquaintances,friends, teachers, lovers, saints Whatare we to see in each one of them andhow? Let us analyze a few examples.

3.2.2. Neither this man sinned, nordid his parents. (Jn 9,3) The sick

If I truly contemplate a sick person, Iwill pay more attention to his realsuffering than I will to any possibledefects of his that would save me fromresponding to his pain. When encoun-tering the sick, we should put aside all

judgment. Its undoubtedly true that inour eyes there are good and bad patients,

and that sickness can make people self-ish and erratic. But it is also true, chris-20


22/33

tologically speaking, that their sicknessgives them certain rights when dealingwith us healthy people: they have theright not be judged or condemned. Eventhough, for their own good, they may at

times need to be compelled, it mustalways be done as gently as possible.

Moreover, it is edifying to contem-plate the tenderness and patience thatsick people, because of their helpless-ness, sometimes inspire in the nurses,doctors, and others who care for them.These caretakers often display for themtheir greatest personal treasures, andthey

do so almost effortlessly, without anyneed to refer explicitly to Christ or God.Justasitisthepoorwhoevangelizeus,so it is possible that our immersion in theworldofthesickcaninthecourseoftimehelp us to change many of the distortedways we have of seeing things. We beginto ask the true contemplative question,Why him and not me?, which inverts

the spontaneous reaction of our ego:What have I done to deserve this?

3.2.3. With a smile you have spokenmy name. Gratifying relations

It is surely true that the greatest happi-ness that can be had in this world isrooted in human relations which unite

us in genuine companionship. But pre-cisely for that reason, we may obses-sively pursue that goal to the point ofkilling the goose that lays the goldeneggs. We may become selfish anddestroy the relationship.

Therefore, when life grants us thesegifts, we must learn to relish all thegratifying aspectsof ourrelationships of

love and friendship. We should cherishsuch relationships not as something

deserved or acquired, but as profoundexperiences of gratuitousness. Everygratifying relation is a gift for which weshould give thanks. It obliges us to givemore because we have received more.

When these splendid relations areexperienced as gratuitous gifts ratherthan something we deserve, then theyturn out to be infinitely more gratifyingand less threatened. And they open usup to those countless people whom lifehas denied even the most elementarylove and affection.

Here we need to evoke the mystery

of sexual attraction, along with all itmeans in terms of experience of other-ness, promise, and surprise (cf. Gen2,23ff). Experiencing it in this wayengenders respect, amazement, and asensation of unworthiness. I am speak-ing ofglobal sexual attraction, not justof bodily attraction (inseparable fromthe other but still different from it). The

latter can lead us to reduce sexuality tothe genital; because of its impulsivenature, it can obscure sexuality and turncommunion into possession, othernessinto domination, and the mystery ofotherness into an object to be con-sumed.22 What is most gratifying insexual attraction results perhaps fromits being a pale reflection of God him-

self, whose being consists of giving ofself (Father), losing oneself in this giv-ing (Word), and recovering the fullnessof ones being in the same giving(Spirit).

3.2.4. Why do you strike me?(Jn 18,22) Ill treatment.

All of us experience moments of hu-miliation or ill treatment in our lives. It21


23/33

is not always possible to calculate howmuch of it is really meant as offense. Allof us tend to judge the intention of theother person by the reaction it provokesin us, but such judgment is mistaken in

most cases. For that reason many spir-itual guides recommend that we notrespond to the disgraces we suffer, evenif we thin that we are responding onlyto defend the truth and not to justifyourselves. Over the long run many

people have learned that the refusal tojustify oneself can bring about a senseof peace, which accepts the other person

and refers us to the ultimate mystery ofa God who is semper maior (alwaysgreater).

We can then also understand whyIgnatius Loyola recommended that weask in prayer for humiliations andoffenses. This is not a sick sort ofmasochism which takes delight in oneswounds Ignatius himself strove to

justify what he saw as the truth when thegreater good of the Church of the gospelwas at stake. Rather it is a difficult roadtoward tremendous interior freedom,following the dialectic of John of theCross: To come to have everything,you have to go to where you havenothing. We also have the example and

thefateofJesus,whomwefollowasoursustainer and our strength in these hardtimes.

3.2.5. How can we sing the Lordssong in a strange land? Evil people

Despite all weve said, bad people exist.Evil is like a genetic threat whichaffects all of us. At some point in ourlife we may come across some of the

scoundrels who populate the planet,or at least some of their works. This isa topic about which it is impossible tomake general statements, because it issomething like cancer: in each instance

it must be determined whether thecancer cells are simply benign, whetherthe tumor is malignant, how big it is,and whether there is metastasis.

Here I will limit myself to explain-ing the ideal process, using the story ofZaccheus as narrated by Luke. Zac-cheus is a perfect scoundrel who has

become extremely rich, and he benefitsfrom a pyramidal structure which chan-nels peoples anger more toward hissubordinates than toward him. Is thisnot a pattern that is repeated countlesstimes in human history? There stillremains in this man, nonetheless, a tinyopening through which he can bereached. It is perhaps the only caserecounted in the gospels where one ofJesus enemies approaches him outof curiosity rather than aggressivity.Usually Jesus adversaries attempt toentrap him in his own words (Mt22,15), but in Zaccheus there is thatsmall opening, which becomes hissalvation.

The behavior of Jesus toward him isthat of a contemplative in relation. Heknows that this man is also a child ofAbraham and that the the Son of Manhas come to save what was lost (Lk19,9.10). Zaccheus thus finds himselfwelcomedinawayheneverwouldhavesuspected, and that welcome changeshimandmakeshimdothingsthatwouldhave been unthinkable for anyone elseof his kind. For God suffers also in thewicked, and in a certain sense more

22


24/33

eventhaninthevictim.ThatiswhyGoddoes not want the death of the sinner

but that he be converted and live (Ez33,11).

This is an ideal case which does not

represent all of them, but it helps toorient them. This case opens up a broad

perspective which illuminates manyaspects of human justice. For example,our striving for justice often has to dowith our seeking the punishment of theoffender, but such an attitude makes

justice too much like vengeance. Pun-ishment should not be for our ownsatisfaction but should seek to protect

people from possible dangers. Further-more, true and complete justice consistsnot so much in the punishment as in thetransformation and rehabilitation ofthe criminal. That is the great difference

between human justice and the justiceof God, as Karl Barth explained in his

commentary on Romans. This is alsowhat has been proposed in many theo-retical declarations about our prisons,which because of inertia and indiffer-ence are little heeded.

3.2.6. The weakness of our neighbor

In our ordinary relations, most of thepeople we meet are far from evil, butthey can be difficult. We know personswho speak only of themselves and theirlittle battles or their triumphs; we dealwith bad-tempered folks who abuse andinsult others under the guise of tellingthe truth (confusing the truth with theirown adrenaline); and we reckon withauthority figures who treat others witharrogance (thinking their harshness atype of responsibility).

These are the most problematiccases for our argument. We will have ahard time reacting to them in a contem-

plative manner if we have not thoughtabout them before the Lord. We might

reflect on such considerations as thefollowing: a) certainly the harm they dothemselves by acting thus is greater thananyharmtheycandotome(andthelessthey realize how insufferable they are,the more they suffer); b) if something

bad affects me much worse than it doesothers, it is a sign that my own spiritualhealth is not all that good; c) we areunaware of the secret struggle that manyhuman beings wage with themselves,and if we were aware of it, we wouldunderstand them better. In any case, asdifficult as they may be, they are also

persons from whom may emerge asmall work of art, even if this is notmade of fine marble but of cheap stone.

3.2.7. Receive one another as Christreceived you. (Rom 15,7)Our daily contacts

The previous examples are intense,extreme sketches: either black or white.Most of our contacts, however, are morelike the palette of a painter with aninfinite range of grays. These are the

ordinary people we meet every day,sometimes in passing, sometimes forlonger periods, but in relations that aregenerally not intense or crucial.

In my opinion, those who viewevery human being in accord with thePauline command at the head of thissection will achieve two things. First,they will inspire confidence in othersand not come across as competitors or

23


25/33

dominators. Second, they will not callattention to the defects of others (as away of feeling superior) nor to theirweak points (so as to take advantage ofthem). Rather they will look on their

neighbor as a package of possibilities,some already being tapped, others half-activated, and still others perhaps almostuntouched. It is through these that Godworks and wants to work with myhelp.

The effort to be contemplatives inrelation will help us to avoid the origi-nal sin which we tend to introduce into

all our relations with others: lookingonly at the good traits of the other

person, so that we end up falling inlove with a being that does not existin reality but is only a fiction we havecreated for ourselves. Or else we lookonly at the defects of others, filtering outtheir positive aspects, and so deny oursupport to those who are perhaps only

sad souls like ourselves. This kind oforiginal sin sterilizes from the startmany of our relationships because welook at others not with the eyes ofGod but with our own unacknowl-edged myopia.

Trying to be contemplatives in re-lation will also help us, not only to buildthe relation on truth, but also to developrelations that are smooth and gentle.True contemplation is that which takesus out of our ego. Applying this toeveryday human relations, we are ledto refrain from speaking too muchand monopolizing the conversation, andwhen we talk, we avoid talking exces-sively about ourselves. Consciously orunconsciously, 90% of the times that

people speak about themselves, it is to

justify themselves. This need for recog-nition often leads them to interruptothers or to be antagonistic when theyfeel others have invaded their space(always its the me too: I saw that

also; I was there too). Humanrelations solidify much better when wetake care to say what may be useful oragreeable to the other person, and not

just what reassures our own ego. But letus be clear: what is spoken has valueonly when it is spoken spontaneously,not out of some false legal or moralnorm which might render us mute or

make us sound phony. Such spontaneitycan be attained only by changing ourinterior registers.

Nothing we say here means weshould be nave. Jesus said quite clearlythat, besides being as simple as doves,we should be as wily as serpents. Thiscounsel is all the more important in a

perverse economic system, built on thecategorical imperative of maximumprofit, which motivates people to de-ceive and exploit others and tries to linkour economic welfare with our need foraffection, probably the worst path for at-taining it.

3.2.8. In conclusion

Whoever does not want the our doesnot want the Father (St John of vila,commenting on the Our Father).

We could give other examples, butthey would be endless. To sum up, let ussay simply that we should enter everyhuman relation with questions of thistype: what is it in the other person thatis Gods gift for me? what does Godhope for from the other? how can I

24


26/33

empathize with him (with his pain, withhis love,)? what can I forgive andwhat do I need to be forgiven? Weshould carry questions of this sort to our

prayer or our meditation every day.

In a word, when in the presence ofothers, we should ask ourselves howGod would treat them so that we cantreat them in the same way. But besidesthat, we should desire that they reflectas much as possible the image of Godwhich makes them what they are,

but which at the same time is obscuredin them, as in all of us.

We have traced here a series of atti-tudes which can be summed up in two

phrases: seeking God in others (suchthat God is more an appeal than anobject) and seeing others from Gods

point of view (as a field of open possi-bilities rather than a circumscribedobject). That is what it means to be a

contemplative in relation. We can nowproceed to describe some sources (orterrains) that will help these attitudesto grow.

3.3. Calling on God as mother

Addressing God as feminine can givethose of us who are males easy access

to Gods otherness. But there is some-thing even more profound in Godsmaternity.

Indeed, one of the deepest needs wehuman beings have (given our need forrecognition) is being able to say that ourlives have been desired and loved bysomebody, that they are not the result ofmere accident. We torture ourselveswith the question: are we only a chance

combination of particles, like the shapesof clouds in the sky which are con-stantly changing? Every human beingwants to know, and needs to know,that his life is something more than that.

Psychologists tell us how difficult itis for neglected individuals, those whofeel from early on that no one is in-terested in them, to mature as personsand become capable of human relations.

Precisely for that reason, the expres-sion son of a bitch [in Spanish, sonof a whore] has become the worst,most offensive insult that we can inflicton another person; it is nastiest invec-tive we can use when we feel the needfor vengeance. Its like telling the other

person that his life is not worth anythingto anybody, that no one ever reallywanted him to exist.23 Every human

being may be tempted to feel this way,that their lives are due to mere chanceand do not correspond to anybodysexpress desire that they exist. Well, theGood News of Christian faith deniescategorically that our existence ismeaningless and affirms unreservedlythat someone did indeed love us intoexistence. Calling on God as mother,then, expresses the grateful confidencewe have in the embrace we have felteven before we came into being. Suchconfidence strengthens and dignifiesour consciousness of being and makesus capable of relationship.

Furthermore, our recourse to God asmother opens our eyes to a God who(like the mother in a family) is the pro-totype of reconciliation and the modelof a more contemplative way of viewing

all the familys members. In familyrelations the mother is the one who

25


27/33

promotes peace, eases tense relations(consider your brother; rememberyour father.., etc.). Calling on God asmother can therefore be a simple way of

predisposing ourselves for more con-

ciliatory relations. The phrase of John ofvila we just cited (if there is no our,then there is no Father) gains in inten-sity if we are convinced that, unless Godis the mother of all, then she is not mymother either.

From this perspective, I would liketo express my dismay at the assurancewith which J. Ratzinger in his book on

Jesus denies that we can address Godas Mother. (I take advantage of the factthatinthebookheclaimstobespeakingnot as pope but as a theologian willingto have his colleagues dispute him).Ratzinger argues that in the BibleMother is never a title of God, thatthe biblical authors invoke God only asFather, and that the maternal references

are found only in descriptive images.24I fear that Ratzinger has here takenthe biblical language out of context,falling into an error which XavierAlegre ingeniously describes thus: atext without context becomes a pre-text. The Bible avoids addressing Godas feminine because in that historicalambiance the goddesses were wor-shipped in a context either of sacred

prostitution or of fertility cults.25 Natu-rally neither of these contexts wasadmissible for monotheistic Jews whoconsidered God transcendent. Nowa-days, however, those contexts do notapply.

In summary, the feminine epito-mizes what it is to be human much morethan the masculine does, especially in

one decisive factor which could be adim analogy of our relation with God:being indebted to him for our being. Forthat reason also the feminine moreeasily brings together and unifies all

human beings as brothers and sisters.When we come face to face with all thedifferent character types described in theearlier section, our viewing each of themas born of the same Mother as ourselveswill help us change our attitude towardthem if a change is needed.

3.4. Treasuring in the heart

But such attitudes are not improvised.We have to keep warming ourselvesevery day in the bao de Mara[double boiler] of our prayer. We usethe expression bao de Mara intention-ally because it allows us to make a sur-

prising lyric leap.

With a certain simplicity, JohnHenry Newman wrote, in his essay onthe development of dogma, that Maryof Nazareth should be the model fortheologians, because almost the onlything the gospel tells us about her is thatshe treasured up all these things,

pondering in her heart what they mightmean. According to Newman, that

should be the attitude of the theologian,and I believe it should be the attitudeof every Christian at the moment offorging relations with ones brothersand sisters.

We might well add that the evan-gelist Luke applies this phrase to Maryin two contrasting moments (Lk 2.19,2.51). The first is a moment of joy andcelebration, when the shepherds visit

26


28/33

the manger in the middle of the night.The second moment is one of sadnessand distress, when the child Jesus is lost(though there is also the positive side ofthe teachers reaction to this extraordi-

nary lad). This ability to treasure mys-teries and ponder their meaning seemsto me to be an indispensable part of

becoming a contemplative in relation.It involves assimilating and making partof our own being whatever is most

promising and positive in every relation;it means processing and eliminatingwhatever is negative, without making it

into the only (sometimes obsessive)feature of our memories.

3.5. Thinking peacefully aboutdeath every day

In our times there is a great deal written,spoken, and advertised about happiness,as we will see in the conclusion. And thetruth is that our happiness seems to havea lot to do with the quality of our humanrelations. This reveals to us a new para-dox, namely, that thinking frequentlyand tranquilly about death helps us notto lose or squander the little happinessavailable to us here (those experiencesof peace and meaning we already spokeof). This is so for several reasons. First,

because such reflection can prevent usfrom doing stupid things that will onlymakes us miserable. Even if that sayingof Nietzsches Zarathustra were true,Every pleasure seeks eternity, it isgood to know that we cannot ask himfor it. Second, because it shows us how

best to invest the capital of life whichremains in our account. But thirdly andabove all, because it helps us think of

death not as defeat but as goal, not asparting but as birth, not as motive ofgrief but as reason for trust. As Leopol-do Panero put it in his intuitive verse:I look at you and I think about things /

that never come to an end / because Godhas watched them / and cannot forgetthem / One night we will shut / oureyes. The rest / belongs to wind andfoam / but love will live on.26

Since this is true, we are welladvisednottoloseourrelationswithourdeparted loved ones, or our conscious-ness of their presence in absence. Weshould trust that they have not beenleft at the wayside of history but havealready arrived at the goal, where theyawait us. We should recall the inspiringexamples they were to us in their lives.We may imagine having dialogues withthem, we may present them flowers andotherthingstheydonotneed,orwemayvisit cemeteries where they are not to befound and where we might rather hearthe voice of the angel in the gospels:Why do you seek the living amongthe dead? Instead of all these vainattempts, we should evoke them as ourintercessors before the mystery of God,and we should trust in the possibility

for believers, the certainty of beingtransformed in our re-encounter withthem some day. Thus it will not be thesad story of those times which passedin joy and will not return, but thereverse: they will return, but freed of allthat was false in them and loaded downwith all the love we were able to bestowon them.

That hope-filled love allows us toimagine our departed loved ones(spouse, parents, brothers, sisters,

27


29/33

friends,) in that portion of God (asit were) where they now live and wherethey become for us (like God) a pres-ence in absence. We realize that evennow they are what Saint Irenaeus in the

second century called resplendentflesh, surpassing the opaqueness of ourearthly flesh. Their flesh is resplendentlike the Fatherbecause it is possessedby the Spirit of God, which shapes itinto the Word of God. For that reasonthey are that flesh forgetful of itselfwhich becomes resplendent27.

Our departed loved ones have come

to form part of the divine Trinity which,at the end of time, ceases to be Trinityand becomes divine multiplicity inthat sort of biblical pantheism whereGod becomes all in all. At thatmoment, the relation that started outwith our being separate entities

becomes a subsistent relation, like thedivine persons, so that the trajectory of

our creaturehood culminates in the

fullness of the divine image and like-ness.Thatgoal,whichisourtruth,musteven today illuminate all our relationsin the creaturely dimension, changingthem into small sacraments or signs of

our being all together in God (in tech-nical theological language: of our cir-cumincession in God). In this way weopen ourselves in silent surprise beforethe final mystery of Christianity, whichis the mystery of the communion ofsaints (or better: the communionof what is Holy).

Living in this way facilitates greatly

the relations we are forging with thosewho are still alive. It can help us avoidwhat so often happens: when someonewe love dies, we often feel regret thatwe failed to treat her better or recog-nized her gifts while she was still withus. Instead, we will be encouraged toview and to treat all persons as wewould wish we had treated them before

they died or before we do.

28


30/33

29

CONCLUSION

To sum up rapidly, let us say that we have seen the roots of what in the

Christian sources is presented as the call to be contemplatives in rela-tion. We have situated the results in the context of traditional religio-sity and a generalized idea of God, and these have been turned upsidedown by the results. From the start of my theological reflections, I havebeen arguing that Christianity is founded not on the substitution of Godby humans but on the sustenance of humans by God.

We have also discovered how humanly rich our theme is: it contains awealth that is accessible to everyone, even though it originates fromChristian roots, that is, from our understanding of human beings as

images of God who are recapitulated in Christ. And we have tried toget an idea of how to reach this difficult goal, starting from our plain andsimple everyday existence.

We can now end these reflections by referring again to a reality verycharacteristic of our times: people are searching for happiness, lookingfor recipes that will make them happy, buying best-sellers that are suc-cessful because they offer formulas for happiness.

Regarding this craze to find happiness, which I find a bit ridiculous, Ihave elsewhere made these observations:

a) It is a clear symptom of how unhappy we really are, despite our feel-ing obliged to tell people we are happy, whether out of human respector because of the cultural context.

b) Happiness is one of those human qualities which is found (in what-ever measure possible) only when it is not sought.

c) Happiness does not belong to this dimension in which we existexcept in some sacramental way. We will never have here an peren-nial orgasm or an eternal ecstasy. But we do have experiences of peaceand meaning, and we catch glimpses of plenitude which can connect us


31/33

to a beyond in which those experiences seem to participate. Andperhaps the most wonderful of these glimpses is this: in a profoundexperience of communion, one experiences, paradoxically, the greatestaffirmation of oneself. But now the self-affirmation is an added extra,not something sought after or even savored selfishly as such, but

simply received, once we realize that nothing more is needed.And d) in this life, the happiness we have must coexist with a certainunavoidable pain, since we are aware of how many others are sufferingat the same time that we are doing well. We all have to accept the greatdilemma Albert Camus left us: in a city affected by the plague, eithereverybody can happy, or else I cannot be.

In this context, then, we can conclude with this thesis (or at least sus-picion): our truly being contemplatives in relation can be one of thesurest sources of that relative happiness which is the destiny of ourtemporal dimension.

.

30


32/33

1. Quaere super nos, Confessions 10,9.2. Authors who once defended this letter as written

by Paul (e.g., Schlier) referred precisely to thisallusion to personal experiences. Nowadays itis rather thought that Ephesians is not fromPauls hand. Even if we accept this for reasonsof language and style (just as a text of Delibescan be distinguished from one of Garca Mr-quez), it is quite likely that the so-called deu-tero-Pauline letters contain direct teachings ofPaul, which were written down by some disci-

ple, who later gave them epistolary form andblended them with some thoughts of his own.What is undeniable is that in this text someoneis speaking in a very direct and personal man-ner. For the rest, I leave the question to the

bible scholars.3. Jos I. GONZLEZ FAUS, La Humanidad Nueva.

Ensayo de cristologa, Santander, Sal Terrae,1994, p. 278.

4. Egide VAN BROECKHOVEN, Diario de la amistad,

XXVI, 32:367 and XXV, 85:536 (the figuresindicate: notebook, commentary number, andpage). The diary has been translated intoSpanish, with an excellent introduction, byJ. M. RAMBLA (Dios, la amistad y los pobres;Santander, Sal Terrae, 2009). Egide explainsthat he went to work in the factory not to gainmore knowledge but to enter into the life ofthe people: out of a contemplative attitude,to place myself alongside them, in the hopethat they might thus find God in me (XII,

20:160). He therefore writes that for him theleap to this environment is like the leap to

being a Carthusian or a Trappist (XXVI,50:375) and that this de-Christianized envi-ronment, harshly exhausting and brutalizing,is where I find my setting for a contemplativelife (XXII: 154).

5. See the anecdote in J. M. JAVIERRE, Juan de laCruz. Un caso lmite, Salamanca, Sgueme,1991, p. 1062. The response is similar to one

John gave a nun who was grieved because hewas being exiled to La Peuela: My daugh-

ter, I am more at home among rocks than I amamong men. (a G. BRENAN, San Juan de laCruz, Barcelona, Plaza&Jans, 1974, p. 93:men seems to be a discreet allusion to N.Doria and his faction.)

6. See for example: D. EDWARDS, El Dios de la evo-lucin, Santander, Sal Terrae, 2006, pp. 34-35.

7. For all of this see: C. DOMNGUEZ, Los registrosdel deseo, Bilbao, Descle de Brouwer, 2001,especially chapters 4 and 5.

8. Jacques LECLERQ, El matrimonio cristiano, Ma-

drid, ed. Patmos, 19523, (my emphasis).9. From the Greek verb aske, which means mod-

el.10. BROECKHOVEN, Diario..., XIII, 2, 7.11. From the poem, The sky which is blue of

Cntico But the poet also know that thisworld of humans is badly made.

12. This triad is surprisingly similar to a trinitarianschema in Hinduism: sat-cit-ananda: being,consciousness of being, and joy at being.

13. Non coerceri mximo, contineri tamen a mini-mo, divinum est.14. See her diary: Etty HILLESUM, Una vida con-

mocionada, Barcelona, Anthropos, 2007; andmy commentary: Etty Hillesum. Una vida queinterpela, Santander, Sal Terrae, 2008; wherethere is an analyis of the expression, helpingGod.

15. The quoted phrase is from 2 Cor 8,9. The otherexpressions are from Dietrich Bonhoeffer.

16. Be perfect, according the version of Mat-

thew 5,48.17. In philosophical language, a phenomenon is

that which appears to us (from the Greek verbphainomai, appear), without considering thereality underlying the appearance.

18. Given the date when I am editing this page, itshard to avoid mentioning the gross falsifica-tion of the faces value as seen in the polished,subtly fraudulent posters of our electoral cam-

paigns (and almost all advertising, for that

matter). In the posters there is not even thetrace of the face: the face has lost its appea-

31

NOTES


33/33

ling quality and has been degraded by themanipulation and objectification of those whofalsify it. The posters are symptomatic of whathas become of our democracy. Despite this, ormaybe because of it, not even times of seriouseconomic crisis discourage people from inves-

ting in their faces.19. Cf. E. LVINAS, Totalidad e infinito, Salamanca,

Sgueme, 1977.20. The expression vicars of Christ indicated in

the early Middle Ages an encounter withsomeone different, mainly poor people. Later,unfortunately, the popes reserved the title forthemselves.

21. R. BULTMANN, Jesus Christ and mythology, Lon-don, 1966, pp. 39-41.

22. Writing these lines in the centennial year of thegreat poet Luis Rosales, I dare to quote theseverses of his, precisely because they do notcome from any celibate ecclesiastical authori-ty: You know that orgasm is an autism /which lover and beloved have / and you feeltheir participant terror / which makes you

slide toward yourself. / I give what I have andwhat I am / Im not sure whether I really let go/ maybe I have never given what is mine(Luis ROSALES, Poesa reunida, Barcelona,Seix Barral, 1983, p. 85).

23. This is true despite the fact that the insult is in-

tolerably chauvinist; a more sensitive versionmight be formulated as son of a whoresclient. The sense is that the life that cameforth was in no way desired.

24. See pages 132-33 of the Catalonian edition.25. Ratzinger referred explicitly to sacred prostitu-

tion in his first encyclical.26. Leopoldo PANERO, Escrito a cada instante,

Madrid, 1963, 142-43. Also, in the Catalonianlanguage, the magnificent M. MART POL,

Llibre d'absncies, Barcelona, ed. Empries,1997, especially the Lletra a Dolors (p. 23).27. Adv. Haer. IV, 20, 2 and V, 9, 3. Elsewhere

Irenaeus says that the human person mustcease being a creature in order to become alikeness (in Greek, progenies, which is thesame term he applies to the Son of God).

Documents

I'm Coming Lord