III. Style 3.1 Clear Sentences. Unclear sentences Unclear writing obscures your ideas from the reader. Unclear writing usually can’t be fixed just by

III. StyleIII. Style

3.1 Clear Sentences3.1 Clear Sentences

Unclear sentencesUnclear sentences

Unclear writing obscures your ideas Unclear writing obscures your ideas from the reader.from the reader.

Unclear writing usually can’t be fixed Unclear writing usually can’t be fixed just by changing a word or two.just by changing a word or two.

Rewrite the unclear sentence more Rewrite the unclear sentence more simply and concretely.simply and concretely.

Awkward sentencesAwkward sentences

Awkward sentences don’t sound right.Awkward sentences don’t sound right.

They’re often confusing and difficult to They’re often confusing and difficult to read.read.

Five General StrategiesFive General Strategiesto help you write more clearly and smoothlyto help you write more clearly and smoothly

1.1. Write something you care aboutWrite something you care about

so you’re writing to be heardso you’re writing to be heard

rather than to hide.rather than to hide.


2. Know your audience2. Know your audience

so you know what languageso you know what language

they’ll understand.they’ll understand.


3. Think like a reader3. Think like a reader

so you can anticipate confusion.so you can anticipate confusion.


4. Use talk:4. Use talk:

say what you mean out loud,say what you mean out loud,

and write it down.and write it down.


5. Get feedback from others5. Get feedback from others

so you know what worksso you know what works

and what doesn’t.and what doesn’t.

Three specific strategiesThree specific strategiesto help you write more clearly and smoothlyto help you write more clearly and smoothly

1.1. Balance parallel ideas by putting them in Balance parallel ideas by putting them in parallel grammatical form:parallel grammatical form:

Alyssa liked to play well and winning before a Alyssa liked to play well and winning before a crowd.crowd.

Alyssa liked to play well and to win before a Alyssa liked to play well and to win before a crowd.crowd.

Bob was shy but a creative boy.Bob was shy but a creative boy.

Bob was shy but creative.Bob was shy but creative.


2. Repair mixed construction (when you 2. Repair mixed construction (when you begin with one grammatical plan and then begin with one grammatical plan and then switch without warning to another):switch without warning to another):

For most drivers who have a blood alcohol For most drivers who have a blood alcohol content of .05 percept double their risk of content of .05 percept double their risk of causing an accident.causing an accident.

Most drivers who have a blood alcohol Most drivers who have a blood alcohol content of .05 percent double their risk of content of .05 percent double their risk of causing an accident.causing an accident.


3. Repair misplaced, squinting, and 3. Repair misplaced, squinting, and dangling modifiers.dangling modifiers.

Modifiers should be placed as near as Modifiers should be placed as near as possible to the words they modifypossible to the words they modify

Misplaced ModifiersMisplaced Modifiers

One commonly misplaced modifier is the One commonly misplaced modifier is the word word onlyonly::

Lasers Lasers only destroyonly destroy the target, leaving the target, leaving surrounding healthy tissue intact.surrounding healthy tissue intact.

Lasers Lasers destroy onlydestroy only the target, leaving the target, leaving surrounding healthy tissue intact.surrounding healthy tissue intact.


The coach The coach only talkedonly talked to the linemen. to the linemen.

The coach The coach talked onlytalked only to the linemen. to the linemen.


Sentences with misplaced modifiers are often Sentences with misplaced modifiers are often confusing and sometimes humorous because of the confusing and sometimes humorous because of the unintended meaning:unintended meaning:

St. Patrick’s Day my dad gave a present to my mom wrapped St. Patrick’s Day my dad gave a present to my mom wrapped in green.in green.

St. Patrick’s Day my dad gave a present, wrapped in green, to St. Patrick’s Day my dad gave a present, wrapped in green, to my mom.my mom.

Alyssa found it difficult to mount the horse wearing tight jeans.Alyssa found it difficult to mount the horse wearing tight jeans.

Alyssa, wearing tight jeans, found it difficult to mount the Alyssa, wearing tight jeans, found it difficult to mount the horse.horse.

Squinting ModifierSquinting Modifier

A variation of the misplaced modifier is the squinting A variation of the misplaced modifier is the squinting modifier, placed so that it can modify either the modifier, placed so that it can modify either the word before or the word after:word before or the word after:

Bob’s mother asked him every week to write to her.Bob’s mother asked him every week to write to her.

Bob’s mother asked him to write to her every week.Bob’s mother asked him to write to her every week.

Coach Iverson told the team early in the first Coach Iverson told the team early in the first quarter to try a surprise play.quarter to try a surprise play.

Early in the first quarter Coach Iverson told the Early in the first quarter Coach Iverson told the team to try a surprise play.team to try a surprise play.

Dangling ModifierDangling Modifier

A dangling modifier has no word in the sentence to A dangling modifier has no word in the sentence to modify. It is left “dangling,” and thus ends up modify. It is left “dangling,” and thus ends up accidentally modifying an unintended word:accidentally modifying an unintended word:

Sound asleep, the alarm clock was not heard.Sound asleep, the alarm clock was not heard.

Sound asleep, I did not hear the alarm clock.Sound asleep, I did not hear the alarm clock.

Upon entering the professor’s office, a skeleton Upon entering the professor’s office, a skeleton caught my attention.caught my attention.

When I entered the professor’s office, a skeleton When I entered the professor’s office, a skeleton caught my attention.caught my attention.

Sample SentencesSample Sentences

Correct the following unclear and Correct the following unclear and awkward sentences:awkward sentences:

1. Betty was popular because she 1. Betty was popular because she spent most of her time fighting, spent most of her time fighting, spitting, and she swore.spitting, and she swore.

One suggestion:One suggestion:

Betty was popular because she spent Betty was popular because she spent most of her time fighting, spitting, most of her time fighting, spitting, and swearing.and swearing.

2. My car needs an oil 2. My car needs an oil change, a grease job, and change, a grease job, and the carburetor should be the carburetor should be

replaced.replaced.


My car needs an oil change, a My car needs an oil change, a grease job, and a carburetor grease job, and a carburetor adjustment.adjustment.

3. The perpetrator was six 3. The perpetrator was six feet tall with a mustache feet tall with a mustache weighing 190 pounds.weighing 190 pounds.


The perpetrator was six feet tall, The perpetrator was six feet tall, weighing 190 pounds, wearing a weighing 190 pounds, wearing a mustache.mustache.

Opening the window to let Opening the window to let out a huge bumblebee, the out a huge bumblebee, the car accidentally swerved car accidentally swerved

into the other lane.into the other lane.


When I opened the window to let When I opened the window to let out a huge bumblebee, the car out a huge bumblebee, the car accidentally swerved into the accidentally swerved into the other lane.other lane.

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III. Style 3.1 Clear Sentences. Unclear sentences Unclear writing obscures your ideas from the reader. Unclear writing usually can’t be fixed just by