iFS Conflict Feb 2012 v4 - Workshops, Training, and …€¦ · · 2016-12-14iFS_Conflict_Feb 2012_v4.1 ... Pros and Cons of Conflict ... communication takes place through many

Foundation Series®

Conflict Management

inform – inspire – implement – improve

C O N F L I C T M A N A G E M E N T

iSpeak, Inc. 2012© i

Conflict Management

iSpeakTM prepared this workbook for use in the area of Training and Development for continuing education. It is intended that these materials will be used to assist students in the learning process during a workshop, after the workshop for review, and continued learning as a reference guide.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS Curriculum Contributors: Russ D. Peterson, Jr. Kevin J. Karschnik Cynthia Oelkers

Copyr ight Noti ce Copyright © 2012 by iSpeak™. All Rights Reserved. Printed in the United States. iFS_Conflict_Feb 2012_v4.1 Except as permitted under the United States Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication, including additional handouts, reference guides, or any part thereof, may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, storage in an information retrieval system, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of iSpeak™.

Disc la imer While iSpeak™ makes a sincere effort to ensure the accuracy and quality of the materials described herein, all material is provided without warranty, including, but not limited to, the implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. iSpeak disclaims all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental or consequential, special or exemplary damages resulting from the use of this product or the products described in this workbook.

Trademark Noti ces iSpeakTM, ispeak.com, Communicating4Success, Presenting4Success, Selling4Success, Servicing4Success, Managing4Success, Leading4Success and the iSpeak logo are registered trademarks of iSpeakTM. All other product names and services identified throughout this book are trademarks of their respective companies. No such use is intended to convey endorsement.

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Thank You Thank you for your purchase. We are committed to delivering a successful training program in a productive, efficient, and positive manner. Enjoy the workshop.

W E L C O M E

2 iSpeak, Inc. 2012© www.iSpeak.com

Welcome to Conflict Management

“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” - Benjamin Franklin

Conflict Management is the iSpeak course developed to enhance your abilities in identifying, understanding and resolving conflict. All of these are skills required to be successful in business. Conflict Management skills can provide the fuel required to power your team in today’s demanding business environment.

Research shows that participants who interact during this course will gain a superior understanding of the course content over those who passively read the workbook or listen to the facilitator. Conflict Management will challenge you to step outside of your comfort zone to learn new techniques. If you want to become a master at conflict management, you must challenge yourself to improve your skills, and that means participation and practice.

Research shows that participants who interact during this course will gain a superior understanding of the course content over those who passively read the workbook or listen to the facilitator.

The information and inspiration will be provided by your iSpeak facilitator, but the implementation is the single most important factor in your improvement. During this class, you will be asked to participate with others and with your facilitator. Only through your implementation will you internalize the skills required for success.


iSpeak, Inc. 2012© iii

Exercise: Course Expectations

What do you want to gain from the Conflict Management course?

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

T A B L E O F C O N T E N T S


Table of Contents

Welcome to Conflict Management ii Unit One: What Causes Conflict? 1

Conflict Defined 2 Message Distortion 4 Relational Power 5 Unit Summary 6

Unit Two: Conflict is Normal 7 Recognizing Conflict 8 Interpersonal Conflict 9 Group Conflict 11 Conflict Response Strategies 14 Weighing the Costs 15 Unit Summary 17

Unit Three: Acknowledge & Explore 19 iSpeak Conflict Resolution Process 20 Responsive Acknowledgement 21 Assertively Approaching Conflict 23 Details of the Exploring Phase 25 Question to Understand 26 Unit Summary 30

Unit Four: Generate & Implement 31 Generating Solution Alternatives 32 Brainstorming 34 Reversed Situation 35 Forced Analogy 36 Point of View 37 Tips for Selecting a Solution 39 Decision Making Traps 40 Unit Summary 42

Implement to Improve 43 iSpeak After the Class 44 Satori 45 Kaizen 46 21-Day Habit 47 Foundation Series Curriculum 48 Corporate Ovations 49 iSpeak Success Series Workshops 50 Recommended Reading Materials 51


iSpeak, Inc. 2012© v

Table of Exercises Exercise: Pros and Cons of Conflict ................................................................................................. 2 Exercise: One Minute Stories ........................................................................................................... 3 Exercise: Message Distortion ........................................................................................................... 4 Exercise: Task and Relationship Conflict ........................................................................................ 8 Exercise: Interpersonal Conflict ...................................................................................................... 9 Exercise: Group Conflict ................................................................................................................. 11 Exercise: Types of Conflict ............................................................................................................ 13 Exercise: Acknowledging Complaints ............................................................................................ 22 Exercise: Acknowledgement Line Exercise .................................................................................. 22 Exercise: Asking Questions ............................................................................................................ 29 Exercise: Brainstorming ................................................................................................................. 38

iSpeak, Inc. 2012© 1

Unit One:

What Causes Conflict?

“Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict. ” – William Ellery Channing

ll of us experience conflict. We argue with our spouses, disagree with our friends, and sometimes even quarrel with coworkers. At times we lose sight of the fact that conflict is normal. So long as people are individuals, there is the potential for conflict.

That’s the first thing to learn about conflict. It isn’t wrong or bad, it’s just part of being a person in contact with other people. The only way to avoid conflict is to never interact with another person.

An understanding of the other party’s and your goals is critical for managing. It requires openness, discipline, and creativity. Doing this is not easy when emotions are running high. Nevertheless, to have a productive conversation, you must approach the other person with respect and try to avoid placing blame.

In this unit, you will learn:

Understand what conflict is and how it can escalate

Recognize the five most common conflict resolution styles and when to use them

Develop effective techniques for resolving conflict issues

Strengthen trust and morale with peers and co-workers

Become more confident in your ability to manage conflicts with challenging individuals

Unit One

1

A

U N I T O N E : W H A T C A U S E S C O N F L I C T ?


Conflict Defined

“The silence often of pure innocence persuades when speaking fails.” - William Shakespeare

Since you can’t prevent conflict, the most important thing is to learn how to handle or manage it in productive ways. In many industries, the amount of time spent on conflict management is surprisingly high. A study by the American Management Association says that managers spend at least 24% of their time on managing conflict. Hospital administrators, school administrators, mayors, and city managers spend even more time on this problem area.

How do you define conflict?

The Pros and Cons of Conflict

Conflict does not have to always be viewed as something that is bad. Without conflict, the free market economy would not work because competition and differentiation are keys to winning the customer’s dollar. Conflict creates tension, and tension creates motivation for change. The motivation to change spurs us on to improve. For example, conflict can lead to the opening of communication lines that were previously severed. Open and honest communication can help us uncover solutions to create better working environments. With each conflict you encounter, focus on creating a functional result. In other words, look for positive outcomes to avoid dysfunctional conflict. Recognizing and dealing openly with conflict creates the greatest outcomes.

Exercise: Pros and Cons of Conflict

In the spaces below, list the positive and negative aspects and outcomes from conflict.

Positive Aspects of Conflict

Negative Aspects of Conflict



Exercise: One Minute Stories

Working in pairs, tell a one minute story to your partner. Then, switch partners and relay the story that you heard to your new partner. Continue with this process until the facilitator ends the exercise.

What was the most challenging part of this exercise?

As the exercise progressed, what happened to the stories? Why did this happen?

What are the key elements you have learned from this exercise?

U N I T O N E : W H A T C A U S E S C O N F L I C T ?


Message Distortion

“Genuine poetry can communicate before it is understood.” – T. S. Eliot

In business, communication takes place through many types of channels and information is told and retold many times. As messages are passed through the grapevine and retold, they tend to lose many aspects of the original message.

As messages are passed down, they may be distorted in several ways:

1. Leveled – some details are lost

2. Condensed – message becomes shorter and simpler

3. Sharpened – some details are highlighted, becoming more important

4. Assimilated – ambiguities are clarified and interpreted

5. Embellished – details are added

The key to understanding the true intent of a message is to always note the source of the message. If you have a question about the accuracy, it should be investigated prior to drawing immediate conclusions.

Exercise: Message Distortion

Answer the questions below and discuss with your group and facilitator.

What type of distortion do you experience the most in your role?

Why do you suppose that is?

How can you better identify message distortion in the future?

How can you prevent causing additional distortion when you relay messages?



Relational Power

“The measure of a man is what he does with power.” - Plato

Power in relationships is not always “granted” to an individual. Some individuals seem to possess real power in relationships when their business title may not necessarily reflect the source of that power. An example of relational power that is granted through a publicly recognized rank would be a Navy Admiral.

The Navy Admiral earns their power by rising through the ranks. They are awarded public recognition among their peers as they gain status and power. Subordinate ranking officers will step aside as the Admiral walks by, they will salute, they allow the Admiral to talk first and last, and they come to attention when he steps on the deck.

In a business setting, regardless of rank and position, some individuals seem to have more power in relationships. Recognizing how to enhance your own relational power can assist you when dealing with conflict and in negotiating situations. The more you develop yourself and gain alternatives and resources, the more options (and therefore more power) you will have in relationships. According to John A. Daly, PhD., relational power can be enhanced with four distinct principles of relational power.

Least interest When you present project solution to your senior manager, knowing that this will save you and your peers numerous hours of tedious work if implemented, if there is nothing in it for your senior manager, they are less than interested. They will have more relational power. The person who cares less can walk away without feeling any hardship. In a negotiation, the person with the least to lose has the most power to deal.

More options When a prospect requests a quote from you for services, chances are that you are one of several competitive bids they have requested. Without options to choose multiple vendors, they would not have power. With choices, they have power.

Resource control Resource control may seem like an obvious source of power. As the saying goes, “The one who controls the money controls the decision.” If you control the resources to either withhold or deliver a resource, you control the power in the relationship. For this very reason, as a salesperson, it is always important to find the person that owns the budget for the buying decision.

Scarcity If the Dallas Cowboys went out of business tomorrow, would Tony Romo find a new job somewhere else? Absolutely. He possesses skills that are scarce in the NFL. As a result, he will be in demand and will control the power to negotiate. In business, your skills should be enhanced continually to create new opportunities and the power to either accept or decline job offers.

With the flexible and fluid nature of relational power, it can shift from one day to the next. While you may have the power in a situation one day, the opposite could hold true the next.



Group Conflict

“The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly” – Thomas Paine

Group conflict pits one team against another team. This is the basic premise of all team sporting events. One team has a goal to defeat the other team. In business, pitting one department against another department can create unhealthy or dysfunctional conflict for the entire organization.

For example, it is a common struggle within organizations for the sales group to conflict with the service delivery group. The sales group will side with the customer to provide them with the services they are demanding, while the service delivery group may be pushing back because the delivery timeframe is impossibly short. When the managers of the conflicting departments are also experiencing interpersonal conflict, the group conflict can be much more intense and damaging. Group conflict may be caused by:

Differing goals

Inadequate rewards systems

Mutual department independence

Unequal departmental dependence

Differing management styles

Role dissatisfaction

Role ambiguity

Common resource dependence

Communication barriers

Exercise: Group Conflict

Answer the questions below and discuss as a group.

What is an example of group conflict you have experienced in the workplace?

How did the group conflict negatively or positively affect the entire organization?

U N I T T W O : C O N F L I C T I S N O R M A L


Conflict Response Strategies

“Peace is not the absence of conflict; it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means.” – Ronald Reagan

Kenneth W. Thomas and Ralph H. Kilmann introduced their Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument in 1974. This instrument is referred to as the TKI and it popularized conflict style inventories. The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode instrument uses the Jane Mouton and Robert Blake axes, one axis defines the “concern for people” while the other axis defines the “concern for the task.” Plotting a style on these two axes will identify which of the five different styles of dealing with conflict is preferred. The five conflict styles are:

Competing (assertive, uncooperative) Forcing an issue to one’s own way.

Avoiding (unassertive, uncooperative) Staying away from or withdrawing from a conflict.

Smoothing (unassertive, cooperative) Giving in to the other party and ignoring one’s own goals.

Collaborating (assertive, cooperative) Focusing on one mutually satisfying outcome.

Compromising (intermediate assertiveness and cooperativeness) Giving in on one need in order to get another satisfied.



Weighing the Costs

“Experience teaches slowly, and at the cost of mistakes.” – James Anthony Froude, British Historian

Every action we take when interacting with others can have an associated price. If we choose to interact with another individual with no regard for their feelings or opinions, we are paying a substantial price to achieve our objective. We are willing to sacrifice a portion of the relationship just to achieve our goal. In some cases, this may be appropriate, but it may not always be the best choice.

If we choose to work with an individual on an issue in a cordial fashion with open communication, we are not paying a price. We are investing in a future. When individuals know that they can work openly and effectively with someone, even if it means disagreeing with that person, they build a stronger relationship.

It is important to understand our primary conflict response strategy because it may not always be the most appropriate. If your preferred strategy is Smoothing and you are the leader during an emergency situation, it would not be appropriate for you to query the feelings of each individual as you told them which life vest to wear.

When a preferred conflict resolution strategy is not the most appropriate, the seasoned communicator is able to avoid going with the “gut instinct” of what feels natural. A well experienced conflict negotiator is able to examine the situation impartially. Then, based on the assessment, they will select the most appropriate strategy for dealing with this particular conflict situation.

SmoothingDisagreements are smoothed over or ignored so that surface

harmony is maintained in a state of peaceful coexistence.

CollaboratingValid problem solving takes place with varying points of view objectively evaluated against facts; emotions,

reservations, and doubts are examined and worked through.

AvoidingNeutrality is maintained at all

costs. Withdrawal behind walls of insulation relieves the necessity of dealing with

situations that would arouse conflict.

CompetingConflict is suppressed through authority-obedience approach. Win-lose power struggles are

fought out, decided by the highest common boss or

through third party arbitration.

CompromisingBargaining and middle ground positions are accepted so that no one wins - nor does anyone

lose. Accommodation and adjustment lead to "workable"

rather than best solutions.

Con

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for P

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Concern for Task

High

High

Low

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High

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Low

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Con

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High

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Concern for Task

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U N I T T W O : C O N F L I C T I S N O R M A L


Exercise: Conflict Response Strategies

Using the conflicts documented on index cards, decide how you would best deal with the conflict.

Situation 1

What conflict response strategy would be best for this situation?

Why?

What conflict response strategy would be worst for this situation?

Why?

Situation 2

What conflict response strategy would be best for this situation?

Why?

What conflict response strategy would be worst for this situation?

Why?



Details of the Exploring Phase

“Fight for your opinions, but do not believe that they contain the whole truth, or the only truth.” – Charles A. Dana

After acknowledging the conflict, the exploration phase begins to completely understand the needs and the assumptions that support those needs. This phase of the conflict resolution process is utilized to gain an understanding of what they need, along with their assumptions for why they have those needs.

Once the needs and assumptions have been defined, you can begin to look for needs in common. When they have been identified, both parties can then agree to brainstorm potential solutions to their conflict issue.

Positions versus needs People often take an extreme position first, without revealing their needs because they are anticipating their opponent’s arguments. If both parties’ needs can be uncovered, it is possible that their true interests are actually compatible, not mutually exclusive.

Positions and Underlying, Compatible Needs

U N I T F O U R : G E N E R A T E & I M P L E M E N T


Brainstorming

“Creativity, it has been said, consists largely of re-arranging what we know in order to find out what we do not know.”– George Kneller

First introduced in his book called Your Creative Power, 1948, Alex Faickney Osborn, an advertising executive, proposed that groups could double their creative output by using the method of brainstorming.

Brainstorming is an excellent tool for generating ideas from a group. Participants should be invited to join in with their ideas, no matter how outrageous they may seem. Often times, one outrageous idea will spark the imagination of another person to fuel an even better idea. Below are the basic steps to facilitate a brainstorming session.

1. The facilitator must document the challenge statement on the whiteboard or flipchart and notify all participants that all ideas will be captured on the board.

2. While it is often recommended that a brainstorming session persist until the group has exhausted every last idea, in some cases it may be appropriate to set a time limit. Groups can also set an idea goal. For example, “We want to capture 30 ideas.”

3. As ideas are generated, absolutely no criticism or judgment is allowed. Laughter can be encouraged to keep the energy high in the room, but there are no bad ideas.

4. Encourage participants to “feed” off each other’s ideas. Augmenting or piggy-backing a new idea off of another is recommended.

5. Once ideas have stopped or the time limit is reached, the facilitator can either begin grouping the ideas into categories, or may use a creative tool to unlock even more ideas.

6. Just when people feel satisfied that they have good answers, challenge them to think of two or three alternative solutions for the same situation.

7. Get people to put on other hats. Ask them what they would do if they owned the company, if they were the customer; if they were the shareholder, if they were the mailroom clerk, etc. Rotate hats to different people or groups in the room.

8. In some situations you may even have to issue a direct challenge. Announce that you don't think they're really getting to the truth or good solutions. Tell them that they need to dig deeper: Make a speech about what it takes to thrive in today's world. Give them a pep talk about how they need to do better.

9. If the feelings in the room are so sensitive that no one is willing to say anything, break people into subgroups of two or three members to discuss the current situation and generate solutions. Once you sense the group's initial unease has passed, reconvene the group and focus on solutions using the subgroup's ideas.

U N I T F O U R : G E N E R A T E & I M P L E M E N T


Exercise: Brainstorming

Work as a group to brainstorm potential solutions for one of the member’s conflict issues. Utilize the previously defined tools with your facilitator’s guidance to generate as many solutions as possible.

Conflict Situation you are brainstorming:

Ideas from your point of view:

Ideas from their point of view:

Ideas from the CEO’s point of view:

Documents

iFS Conflict Feb 2012 v4 - Workshops, Training, and …€¦ · · 2016-12-14iFS_Conflict_Feb 2012_v4.1 ... Pros and Cons of Conflict ... communication takes place through many