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In 1972 Nora Ephron wrote:l piece in Esqllirt called "A Few Words AboutBreasts." The confession of a less-thanamply endowed woman. Ephron's articlewas much discussed, because. for onething. it appeared in a men's magazine thatonce had naughtily celebrated pneumaticbhss with its Vargas pinups, but Illorc importantly because the piece so characterized the temper of the rimes. Nineteen seventy-two was. after aJl, a moment in ou rsocio-pop his[Ory when a reasonablewoman such as Nora could find herselftom by the conAicting demands of fiftiesesthetics and seventies feminism: the former requiring that women, like Thundcrbirds, be designed (0 fuJfill men's adolescent f::1I1tJ.sies: the lauer. thal women, likeSlalinists. fulfill cach other's political famasit'S, if only by sharing an ideological corset. Such a paradox may explain why theItussians have never come up with a decent sports car, but that's another s tory.What's ilHerc..'Sting is how dated Eph

ron's piece sounds today. Imagine aneightil.os woman agonizing over the shapeof her breasts-too smaU, too big, toopendulous, too asymmetrical-when it isso s imple 0 go out and have them renude. Imagine all eighties woman agonizing over whether or no t agonizing overthe size and Sh:lpc of her breasts is politically correct! As onl ' postoperat ive pat ienttuld a reporter 111 N ~ 1 / ! York magazine lastspnng: "Just because you want bcaurifulbreasts doc..'Sn't mean you can't be a feminist." We've come a long way, baby. Inone shon decade we did away with bothnaturc and politics.

The zeitgeist is an ill wind that blows nogood. In till' past few years. it s e e l l l . ~ , everyone stopped talking about sex :lIld started talking about real estate. Theil theySlOpped talkmg about reall.'State and started talking about cosmetic surgery. No wevery l ime a group of more than twO fortYlsh womCll get together, the inevitablepunch line to every commiserative ant.'Cdote is: ..And so I'll get a fact.,-lift."But this current obsession-and this is

what's news-is not necessarily a reflection of age, or even gender. In a reccnt issue of Star magazine. which has its flllgeron the pulse more than today's Esquire,Michael Landon, fifty-two, and his thinytwo-year-old wife announced that theywcre geuing his and her face-lifts for Valentine's Day. And Dtlails magazine,which presumes a readership tOO young tobe worned about dewb.ps (and too kinkyto care about gcnder), runs a regul.:ar fea-

M l r ~ b c l b J u l y 19l:l9

If'ODHADWANTID WOMIN

TOHAYIfA(I-lifTS,SHI WOUlDN'THAYI'IYIN

THIM ASINSIOf HUMORBy Tracy Young

ture called "Knifc!otylcs of the Rich andFamous." Tummy tucks, nose jobs, breastimplallls. and bunock lifts arc all describedwith such chilling accuracy and unabashedfrankn

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SUTURE SHOCKdashbo.:uds. But nobody's perfea . And ifthey were, would they be selling realestate?NOlle or this is to say I haven't had my

weak moments. One day not long ago. Ibent over to pick up my car keys, caught alook at mysel f in the glass tabletop. andshrieked. The skin on my face-oncebound to bone and muscle-had comeloose from its moorings. "Never, never.never look at yourself upside down," saida friend who'd wltnC'ssed this event. Another friend explained that chis phenomenon was the reason the missionary posit ion had caught all.

If1l3turc's first shock is puberty, the second is middle age. Iam beginning to thinkthat Elisabeth Kublcr-Ross's five StagL'S ofdeal ing with death-denial, anger. ba rgaining, depression. and acceptancchave been modified somewhat. The newagenda goes like this: denial, ;mga, bargaining, depression, and cosmetic surgl'ry. So why c:m't I believc that a face-liftis the answer?Ikct.'ntly I ran into a friend I hadn't st.'Cn

in a couplc of months. J was horrified; shelooked frozen with horro r. As it turnedout, she'd only had hcr eyes done and now

When I told awoman I work withthat my fantasy wasto grow oldandlook like GeorgiaO'Keeffe, shelaughed. "Startpainting, kid"resembled some kind of f('tal raccoon,with a taul mask of prell'rllaturallysmooth skin around the c y i . : ~ , and a facefull of creascs and wrinkles. Clc.1r1y thenext Stcp was a face-lift, though there'snothing to be gaincd from an unfurrowcdbrow when the skin on yOllr hands is sobagged out with veins you should weargarters at the wrist. So where dO\.'s the CUt-t ing and pasting stop?Tht: ravages of time: may not bl' preuy,

but they have a c('rtain ruilll,:d nobility.And consider the alternative. Look at thebtl'r picturt.'S of TnJlllan Capote-therc'snothing quite so frightc.:nmg as a very oldchild.

7be five most talked aboutproceduresBy Catherine Clifford

li'llIC1iln In only Icn ycars, Ihis h" blossomed from experimental status to themost popular cosmetic plastic surgical op eration in the U.S. In 1986 (the Iatt.'St yearfor which figun'S arc available). nearly100,000 people paid SS to S4000 each tohave their fat vacuuml'd, according to thcAmerican Socicty of Plastic and Reconstructive Surgeons. This rcHects not onlyWidespread dissatisfaction with bodies butalso great word of mouth . Although theprocedure sounds gnJt."SOme1y primitivethe surgl'Oll makes a small incision. insensDoES B IGGER NECESSARILY MEAN BETTER?

a tube, and shoves it around (;albeit skillfully), loosellmg fat globulcs and suckingthem Ou t - t h t ' resuJts usu:ally make the"properly selected" p:atiem very happy.

That "properly selected" caveat goes forevery kind of plastic surgery. but perhapsmost of all for liposuction. Liposuction isnot, ironically, for the chronically fat. ItonJy removes aberrant bulges from a fewplaccs; it does not whittle a whole newhC::ld-to-toc body. The bcst C3ndidatt: issomeonc at or ncar her ideal wl'ight. (fhcmore extensive the area worked on, theriskier :md the less predictablc the results.)Liposuction never has to be repeated in thesame spot. It appc.3.TS that lhe body has afinite number of fat cells. each of whichswells or shrinks as you gain or loseweight. Removing some of the fat cellsfrom a given areapcnnancntly diminishes thc capacity togain weight in thatspot. Though the avcrage pat ient losesonly a total of abouttwO pounds of fat Inthe vacuuming. theCfTl'ct is dramatic bc:-cause: th e weightcomes of f in all theright plact.'S.Tht., up side: al

though doctors usedto believe liposuctionwas suitable only for BOTTOMS UP: THEyoung women MIRACLE OF(tcclls-thirties) with LIPOSUCTIONshrink-to-fir skill.they' re finding that tht: procedure maywork for somc people well into their sixtil."S. "Wt.'vc leamed that oldcr skin is oftenmuch more clastic th.an we thought," saysLawrence S. Iked, M.D., F.A.C.S. aNe w York City plastic surgl'On who is affiliated with Mt. Sinai School ofMedicine.The primary, and most promising patient,though, is still the younger olle: "Not onlyarc the rt.'Sults predictably optimal." Dr.nl.'Cd explains, "but I think the reason liposuction patients are among lhe most satisfied we see is that they're generally young

and they already look good except that they have this OtiC perceived problem. Fix thal, andthey're perfect."tr!llt 11,1!llItiIIAno'hcr comer.The fashion worlds' current fascination with ample bosoms hasgenerated an increasing demand

MI ra be ll a J ul y 1989