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DEDICATION

I am fortunate to have many incredible women. and men. in my life.

This 1s for Saily, who lets me lead. .. sometimes My mother and my father. who are my first leaders

Brenda and Colleen, who are always with me My friends. who walk beside me

You are my circle

Thank you

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

In our second summer residency, we were encouraged to follow a project that spoke to our passions ... As you will soon read, women are known for giving in to their passions. Women's journeys are my passion.

I thank Holly, my MALT critical friend, for her ongoing and incredible support: she does not recognize herself yet as the strong leader she is. Her wisdom has guided and encouraged me throughout this project. Thank you.

I was inspired by the women in rny MALT cohort; they contain a richness in spirit, a vast depth of knowledge, and amazing insight. Your courage and your strength helped sustain me through these past two years.

This project would never have occurred without the willing participation of the incredible women in my two circle groups, and the five other women who permitted individual interviews. Your stories are incredible, and I salute you Thank you.

Nimble fingers and generous patience ... many thanks to Charlotte for her transcribing assistance.

Tammy Dewar led the way with her inspirational modelling she has inspired so many of us. and encouraged us to walk the high road. For her support and her thoughts. thank you.

I am particularly grateful to Janis. for her continuous support and encouragement over these past three years: your authenticity and integration of leadership styles inspires me

The literature says that women are influenced by a mentor early on in their career . .

Thanks. Mike.

And to al1 the women in my life who are leaders within their own fields. within their own worlds.. . be true. and be good. to yourself. You are worthy

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Dedication

Acknowledgements

Table of Contents

Introduction: Circling

Chapter One: 1s There A Glass Ceiling? Introduction Looking at the Glass Ceiling The Organization

Chapter Two: Supporting Literature on Wornen in Leadership

Chapter Three: Looking For The Glass Ceiling Research Methodology and Project Participants Project's Final Format

Chapter Four: Learning Circles - Cross Time and Cross Culture Scene One: The Invitation Scene Two: Response to the lnvitation

Chapter Five: Listening for the Glass Ceiling's Break Scene One: Fears and Preparations Scene Two: Circle One Scene Three: The lmmediate Aftermath

Chapter Six: Themes from Circle One

Chapter Seven: Bridging the Circles Making A Difference

Chapter Eight: Administrators Circling lsla Anne Deirdre Maureen Victoria Katherine

... I I I

Chapter Nine: Thenies from Circle Two

Table of Contents (continued)

Chapter Ten: Final Conclusions Research Implications Research Project Lessons Learned Program Lessons Learned from the MA LT Program

Conclusion: Jan

References

Appendix 1 - School District #63 (Saanich) - Organization Chart

Circling

Candles lit, fire aglow Stone in my hand-

Warmed by sweaty palms before me

Thoug hts swirling Eyes upward

Focusing on the eagle's spiral on air currents

How do I remain true to myself True to my mission

Remain an administrator, and always a learner And reveal myself.. . to ail

Damp tissue gripped. the women await The whirlpool

circles of learning

I open my mouth. and step into the vortex.

Jan Tew. August 7. 2000

CHAPTER ONE: IS THERE A GLASS CEILING?

School District #63 (Saanich) is known to be an extremely progressive public school

district, anticipating and implernenting Ministry of Education directives. striving for

professional growth on behalf of al1 its employees, and working hard to develop a

united learning community. A school district with three large secondary schools. one

alternate secondary school. three middle schools. and fourteen elementary schools.

it operates with approximately 1000 employees in total. Women are increasingly

successful in attaining leadership positions. and are actively seeking out

opportunities through which to enhance and improve their leadership skills. Despite

the supportive tone of the district, however. there is a perception that women are not

achieving the "top rungs" of the organizational ladder. and murmured discussions

vent frustrations at perceived continued patriarchal traditions.

Is there a gender-based reason why only one woman in the school district's history

has achieved a principalship at the secondary school level? Is there any substantial

evidence to give reason that women are not succeeding past supportive

administrative roles because of gender? The district has operated with a female

superintendent, currently employs a female secretary-treasurer, and. apart from

present numbers at the middle school level. has an almost equal ratio of female to

male administrators (see Organization Chart. Appendix 1).

In beginning my investigation into this study, 1 had a number of assumptions-which

as 1 delved further into it. changed. lnitially I had been swept along with the district

myth that women are not as easily promoted to positions of responsibility, to the

upper rungs of our organizational framework. as men; however. upon review of our

organizational charts, there is not as much discrimination as some women in the

district would purport. As a woman. and a teacher with much less seniority than

several other candidates who applied for the same positions of responsibility as

have 1. I have been successful in attaining these positions. As well. another

secondary school vice-principal also has not had any obstacles placed in her path

due to gender: she was first hired to a position of responsibility in her second year of

teaching (department head). and was shortlisted in her third year for a coordinator's

role within the secondary school. She became a vice-principal in her ninth year with

the district. Both of our experiences certainly contradict the myth suggested

repeatedly that wornen are not attaining administrative positions within our district:

some would point out that a recently appointed male secondary school principal

advanced to this role after just seven years experience. Literature and these two

examples purport that even though women have achieved success at supporting

administrative positions, they frequently do not attain the "top rungs" of the

organizational framework, suggested to be secondary school principalships. or

superintendent at central office (Russell and Wright. 1992; Grogan. 1999: Bell and

Chase. 1995).

Although there is much discussion around women achieving leadership roles.

perhaps it is the journey itself of women toward these roles that should be noted.

Women of diversity, from differing cultures, backgrounds. marital status; women with

children, without children: what common threads, values, characteristics are

prevalent along the journeys experienced? What stories do these women in

leadership positions, of al1 disciplines. have to share with society as experiential

lessons? What leadership styles are being rewarded with administrative

promotions?

With only approximately one-third overall of our district administrative team being

women. what challenges existed in the women's journey toward these leadership

roles? Why were they successful? How did they get this far? What assistance

andlor impediments did they receive? And if they were to consider their journeys.

what stories would predominate, and what overall values and leadership

characteristics would emerge? Finally, how do these journey characteristics

compare to that of female leaders from other disciplines. and of other diversities?

This project seeks to elicit the voices of women from diverse backgrounds. women

representing cross-sections of professions and personal lives. and allow them to tell

the story of their journeys toward leadership roles. In hearing the stories of women

from disciplines outside of the educational domain. Our school district administrators

will be able to take note of the characteristics and values that pervade other

domains. and apply them to Our world as well. The inquiry question the project will

attempt to answer is, What aspects characteme wornenes leadership journeys?

Looking at the Glass Ceiling

The issue of female leadership is not a concrete problem. per se. in our school

district. Rather, it is the existing myths that create an underlying tension. and which

could benefit from the discourse regarding leadership journey characteristics; both

female and male administrators. as well as the entire learning community. can gain

awareness from the project's results. To leave the issue unresolved. not discussed,

and to allow the conversations to continue behind closed. gender-segregated doors.

fertilizes an atmosphere enabling further discontent. Allowing women to share their

stories of leadership journeys permits them to acknowledge and hear that their

experiences are not solitary (Napier. 1995). The process allows for the community

of leadership to expand. and for the smaller community of women leaders to make

connections and build upon personal as well as united strengths. In a time when

much research surrounding patriarchal versus rnatriarchal styles is a focus. including

the actual teaching focus upon girls over boys and gender-related learning

strategies. encouraging discussion that distances itself from opinion and simply

allows stories to be told is healthy.

Much research has been done in the past twenty years surrounding the

discrimination against women in the workplace. The feminist movement and the

literature expounding the lack of work done from a female perspective in history-

accounts. theories. and values-have been analyzed and condemned as being the

scaffolding to a male-dominated majority culture. "it is likely that the comrnonly

accepted stereotype of women's thinking as emotional. intuitive. and personalised

has contributed to the devaluation of women's minds and contributions.. .with recent

ferninist writers . . . argu[ing] that there is a masculine bias at the . . . heart of most

academic disciplines, methodologies. and theories" (Belenky. Clinchy. Goldberger.

and Tarule. 1997. n.p.). Women's values and "ways of knowing" (Belenky et al.

1997) are in the process of being articulated. even as they continue to ensure that

they considered equals in every aspect of our society.

Given this movement since the late 1970s. and the current situation of women in

leadership positions who lived through the transitional period of the "equality-shift". it

is not really surprising to hear the bitterness and frustration in conversations

surrounding a perceived lack of justice in the attainment of administrative roles.

However, many women born in the 1960s or later find themselves with prime

opportunities to capitalise on the situation: there is a greater chance of al1

candidates being evaluated on their personal merits. and not gender. for today's

leadership positions. This creates another tension. between women who struggied

for equal treatment and advancement and the younger women who are perhaps

more easily scaling the ladders of the organization than in previous decades.

Another possible action that develops from this project research may be the value of

mentorship. created through the actual study itself. Subject participants will get to

know each other in a very different framework. with very exposed and vulnerable

backgrounds shared. than they might otherwise find: in the sharing of leadership

journeys. there has been a systems relationship created in which learning occurred

between individuals of various levels of experience. These relationships were

created between myself and the nurnerous female administrators within our district

with whom I spoke; their journeys resonated accord with me. I had expected to find

that in their having attained their positions. that their journeys would have been

vastly different than mine. somehow easier. I was expecting to hear tales of

enchantment that assisted their ascension up the ladder: hearing the commonality of

mothers and wives trying to weave strands of family and professional

responsibilities. and exclusionary conversations with male working peers. surprised

me. And in the surprise. I found myself shocked that I actually had been surprised:

it was almost as if 1 had expected these women to have mastered it all. or at the very

least. shown no cornmon characteristics with myself. Research indicates that a

mentorship role is crucial in the administrative ascension: it appears to be of

particular importance to women. that, given the lack of wornen mentors, a

mentorship rote with an open-minded male of integrated leadership styles be

available (Adler et al.. as cited in Alston. 2000; Ebbers. Gallisath. and Rockel. 2000).

The relationships nurtured within those initial interviews or circle dialogue between

the female administrators in our district have continued; the thread of the

conversations is linked and furthered in other discussions. The action research

cornponent. which I had initially scoffed. of circles and interviews. has proven itself

over and over, as these wornen opened up their lives and their experiences.

Several of the female administrators have repeatedly said that a need exists for

these conversations to continue. that the sharing and learning is valued; the email

conversations between the individuals from the first circle. of various professions.

continue to support one another.

I find it sad, that like rnany other communicational interactions that should be given

priority-interactions that nourish the spirit and the heart. giving us not only the

sustainability but also the encouragement to continue--our connecting with one

another takes second place to district business.

Hiring practice is not likely to change in our district; I do not anticipate that in further

discussions on some of the comments generated in the process of this project that

the district will awaken to a new discovery that they have unconsciously hired more

male administrators than female. and unjustifiably. at that. Were some women in the

district passed over for top administrative positions because of their different

leadership style. i.e. more ferninine in character (nurturing. caring. collaborative.

relational)? Is there a possibility that the repeated literature theme of those in

control of hiring look for similar counterparts to bring into the organization's upper

structure? (Albino, 1992) Given that the process of attaining a principalship or a

higher central office position involves numerous interview levels. including

representatives from the trustees. parent associations, school staff. administrative

levels. as well as executive Board Office staff. it is difficult to imagine that a "plot"

against the advancement of women could be so pervasive.

Having heard many of these innuendoes or criticisrns of hiring process, even within

our district. I believe that the gathering of stories to theme and pattern characteristics

would assist in dispelling myths about current practice, and perhaps allow for a

cathartic process in the telling of historical stories. It shocked me, upon the two

most recent hirings of female administrators in Our secondary schools, to read an

email from one of the male administrators (whom I had assumed to be unbiased)

express that the "wornen were gainingn (in terms of ratio between administrators'

genders at the secondary level) and that "the next administrator hired had better be

a man". Although I assumed there to be an element of humour in this email

conversation. subsequent comrnents within group situations (comprised of two-thirds

men) continued the theme, adding to the frustration and discontent of the women.

Issues of further marginalization based on culture. personal relationships. and

decorum outside of the work role have also been stated to be of concern to sorne;

eliciting the leadership journey stories from individuals of diverse backgrounds such

as these will add to the layers of theming and patterns in the data. Allowing for

women to tell their leadership stories, and hearing the positive characteristics and

objectifying the negative aspects, can help dispel the myths, and re-focus us on

what is rnost important: doing Our jobls to the best of our abilities.

Rather than criticize historical process. I hope that in reviewing the literature that

attempts to clarify differences between male and female leadership styles. and in

allowing the stories of women's leadership journeys to be told, that it will provide an

opportunity for learning awareness ta occur. There do appear to be differences in

leadership styles. and they are not necessarily gender-specific. As leaders, we need

to act with integrity and remain true to ourselves: not adopt a style because we think

it will elicit future administrative positions, but remain genuine and sincere in our

interpersonal interactions. In addition, we need to respect the styles of others, and

allow for different leadership personalities to ernerge and be equally valued. An

administrative structure by its nature works with a vast array of personalities within

its organization: multiple leadership styles allow for the pollination and mentoring of

numerous other individuais, fostering the germination of future leaders.

The Organization

There is no documentation within Our school district that focuses upon women's

leadership journeys, or any documentation supporting controversies around gender

equality among our management team. Leadership is a constant topic of review at

administrative meetings, as is professional growth of both administrators and the

rest of the learning community.

School District #63 (Saanich) operates with a management team comprised of

school administrators (principals and vice-principals) and executive staff

(superintendent, assistant superintendents, director of personnel, secretary-

treasurer, comptroller, and physical plant superintendent at the Board Office level).

With three mainstream secondary schools, one alternate secondary school, three

middle schools, fourteen elementary schools, and a distance education school that

caters to grades kindergarten to 12, the entire team includes 49 members. Of these

49 administrators. only 18 (or 37%) are women, with the largest discrepancy of male

to female ratio existing at the middle school level. 42% of secondary school

administrators are women; 17% (or one of seven) of middle school administrators

are female; and 48% of elementary school administrators are women; 22% (or two

of seven) of the executive staff administrators are female.

Having had one female superintendent. and both an assistant-superintendent and

secretary-treasurer currently in office who are female. as well as several female

Board of Trustee Chairpersons, suggests the acceptance of women at the higher

rungs of Our organizational structure. Where perhaps it is talked about more, is the

administratively senior positions within schools themselves, where only one woman

at each of the secondary and middle school levels has held a principalship. An

unstated myth that is perpetuated at these levels is that in these positions the

administrator needs to be male in order to be seen as an authority figure to the

students, and that the female nurturing, emoting, and creative characteristics belong

only in an elementary school çetting. Again, as Our schools are changing. to allow

for more interactive and team-centred processes, and less top-down rules of order, it

would appear that there is more opportunity for women to advance 10 administrative

roles in the upper grade level schools (three of the four secondary schools have

female vice-principals, as does the distance education school). However, common

comments heard frorn female school staff (and students) upon a woman's

succession to an administrative rote, denote that "it's about time", suggesting a

perpetuation of the same myth at this level of the district's organization.

For a district that prides itself on progressiveness. and which is dedicated to learning

and teaching, there needs to be greater awareness by its entire cohort of mernbers

that the whoie of an organization or system is greater than the sum of its parts. Too

often there is cornpetition between the schools. with reticence in sharing resources

created by other schools, and school administrators entering the competitive one-

upmanship race. We should be working together. and not peering over shoulders

looking for the "enemy out theren (Senge. 1990). Solving the symptorns rather than

the root causes of the problems. will only shift the burden of problems to others.

causing an escalation of the problems or difficulties with a "band-aid" solution

(Senge. 1990). It is not enough to think that we can work within Our own

classrooms, within Our own departments. within our school, without taking into

consideration the other schools and the entire district's needs; this also means that

the community's needs and interactions with the school must be considered. For

women to further fragment themselves within this vast system is worse than a band-

aid-it is Our own self-perpetuating limitation to growth. Communication and

connections have to be made. and the exclusionary practices between men and

women as groups removed (such as the group of men arriving at a meeting,

discussing the hockey game, with the other third of the group-women-being

completely excluded). Senge's (1 990) law. "There is no blamen, has to be the root of

looking at how the organization works-and beginning a discussion that causes

revelation for management that each person and the cause of hislher problems are

part of the larger concentric circle comprising the system: the school district.

If any administrator, regardless of gender, takes issue with lack of promotion or

success to a principalship role, that person must examine the root causes for having

not been successful in the first place. What are the principles behind personal work

roles? What are hislher persona! values? How does slhe convey these values and

principles to the people with whom slhe works, and how do these ultimately affect

the students whom slhe teaches, mentors, and administers? Personai value

systems greatly affect visions for the school-if the administrator cannot

communicate, practice and exhibit personal values and principles. then there will be

great difficulty in getting the systern to follow a vision for the school. An

administrator must "practice what slhe preaches", and model the "being" in addition

to the "doing". Falling into a pattern of shifting the burden of blame away from self-

ownership only perpetuates the problem, and leads to the ritualistic dance: not

being successful in the attempt to gain a leadership role, the system and everyone

else are blamed (Senge, 1990; Oshry, 1995).

Very little documentation exists within Our district to substantiate this myth of women

having been excluded from promotional opportunities. Diversity is greatly valued.

stated clearly in the school district's "Principles of Inclusive Schools", which state

that "[i]nclusive schools honour and celebrate the diversity that exists in the school

community." (School District AdvertisinglPromotional Poster: "Principles of Inclusive

Schoolsn, date unknown) In order to compile the information regarding statisticai

data on male to female ratios. I reviewed the district's organization charts and made

calculations based on the school administrators and the staff at the executive level

at the Board Offtce. There is little meaningful data provided in relation to my

question, in "describing women's leadership journeys". Hopefully this project will

provide some insight which will be useful to the district's management team.

CHAPTER TWO: SUPPORTING LITERATURE ON WOMEN IN LEADERSHIP

The most important element that cornes across in the review of literature on

women's attainment of leadership positions is in relation to acting with authenticity:

women in various professional worlds, in the atternpt to ascend the hierarchical

ladder of organizations. have pulled on the guise of men's styles of leadership,

rather than rernain true to their own characters. Women. long seen to be more

emotional. are deemed to have a more difficult time in traditional male positions

(generally assumed to exhibit rational and logical behaviours); this is further

exacerbated by the women taking upon the affect of men in the pursuit of leadership

roles (Sachs and Blackmore. 1998). While women principals are expected to be

warm. caring. patient and cairn. they most also inhibit the "negative" emotions of

passion and anger-a standard which doesn't exist for men (Sachs and Blackmore.

1998).

A glass ceiling is stiil perceived to exist for women in attempting to access top level

administrative roles. Elkiss (1994, n.p.) suggests that "a glass ceiling exists". and

further defines it as an "artificial barrier based on attitudinal or organ izational bias

that prevent[s] quaiified individuals from advancing upward ... into management level

positions." She further elaborates that the major barriers women encounter are lack

of time. support. and training: "any focused effort to move women into leadership

must take into consideration women's often distinctive life experience, and

particularly their double burden of work at home and on the job and the

underestimation of their potential by themselves and by others."

Leadership styles seem to have more distinctions related to gender: women play

"integrative-su pportive rotes" while men are more commonly associated with

"authoritative-instrumental" roles (Parson and Bales, as cited in Bell and Chase.

1995). Bell and Chase further distinguish that (based on Powell's sumrnary, as cited

in Bell and Chase. 1995, n.p.):

The linkage between gender stereotypes and behavioural theories of leadership is obvious. Task-oriented behaviours by the leader such as initiating structure, setting goals. and making decisions are those most associated with the masculine stereotype. People-oriented behaviours by the leaders such as showing consideration toward subordinates, soliciting of subordinates' ideas, and dernonstrating concern for subordinates' satisfaction are those most associated with the feminine stereotype.

Dominance and control are linked with masculine leadership, versus the

collaborative style of women (Bell and Chase, 1995; Strachan. 1999). However,

women are seen to be "good change agents and project managers". and "better at

multi-tasking. [communicating], and motivating peoplen as well as "hearing different

points of view" (McGee, 2000, n.p.).

Goldner et al. (as cited in Russell and Wright, 1992) suggest that women are not

cynical enough in terms of their understanding of organizational structure. including

the political skills required to participate in "the garne". They assume that everybody

"plays by the same set of rules" (Fernandez and Kanter, as cited in Russell and

Wright, 1992). Women's leadership style lends itself to collegial and democratic

forms, which then can create conflict in the balance between confidentiality and

open and collegial ways of communicating with staff (Sachs and Blackmore, 1998).

Women fall into three strategies when trying to work in leadership capacities:

adaptation, reconciliation, or resistance (Tedrow, 1999). Adaptation means that

women adapt men's ways of leadership, Le. instrumentalization (stressing rational

thought and strategic action, more closely associated with 'masculine ways of

leading'). Women using adaptation accept their deficiencies and learn to overcome

thern by re-aligning their behaviour with male-oriented styles, not questioning the

present organizational structure. Reconciliation relies upon both instrumental and

relational (seen as a 'ferninine way of leading') styles of leadership. with the result

dependent upon the woman's estimation of the work situation and a suitable

response. Resistance suggests that wornen recognize organizational patterns as

male-oriented, and that they challenge these structures, using a relational way of

knowing instead.

However, al1 of t hese strateg ies are reactive to the male-dominated organizational

context, with women using their energies to survive or fit into the male context,

rather than looking at how their own ways of leading could be more fully embraced

(Tedrow. 1999). These models fail to recognize that an integration of styles would

refiect a greater sense of integrity and "being true to oneself". thereby allowing for a

more likely chance of success in not only interpersonal relations, but as a result, in

also ascending the hierarchical ladder. As relational leaders, women tend to

facilitate rather than control. These women's ways of leading are considered

secondary to meri's ways of leading (Grogan, 1999). Paradoxically. if female

leaders emulate a masculine leadership style. their male subordinates will dislike

them; if a stereotypically warm and nurturing style is delivered, they will be liked-

but not respected (Kawakami, White, and Langer, 2000).

Although leadership practices (despite more women being in these roles) are still

predorninantly masculine, an integration of styles that are innately genuine for the

individual leader should be sought (Blackmore, 2000); the female superintendents in

Bell and Chase's (1 995) study demonstrated a wide range of leadership strategies.

not just relational. Albino (1992) expresses this succinctly: neither men nor women

have al1 the attributes required to be great leaders; each gender has some, and they

need to learn the ones they dont have to be truly effective leaders.

Albino's (1 992, n.p.) study of female administraton at State University of New York,

at Buffalo, listed the most important characteristics of women who have succeeded

in academic administration, summarized as follows:

Women must have a strong sense of self; be impervious to criticism and cheap shots that are part of most women's lives every day. They must be able to give away the credit for their accornplishments. They must project an air of conviction: they must be able to convince others they know what they are about.

The second category is the capacity for hard work and long hours. There are no reôl differences between men and women in ternis of ability to accomplish this; the biggest obstacle is the perception that men are able to work long hours while women are not (family responsibilities).

Interpersonal skills: being able to listen, mediate, and generaliy get along well with people. Women are skilled at this, but not always compatible with the male-dominated way of doing things. Women need to learn from men how not to hold ont0 anger, and return to business sooner. Women rnust be careful about how they share their feelings; too much emotion can hold them back.

Ability factor: intelligence, craftiness, or the ability to strategize. Men are better at strategizing, and in finding the shortest route from Point A to Point B. [Women tend to focus on the journey; men focuç on the destination (Russell and Wright, 1992).] Wornen like to cover al1 the ground thoroughly-but this is not necessarily the most effective route. Taking risks and making decisions about what is important and about what can be set aside can be beneficial.

Research suggests that women may not be successful at some tasks due to a lac!:

of confidence in their own ability to succeed; this self-limiting behaviour can

sabotage the attainment of leadership roles (Dickerson and Taylor, 2000). As well.

when women are not successful, further barriers to advancement within an

organization might arise due to a "blame-the-victim" perspective (Ryan, as cited in

Russell and Wright, 1992).

Women do not have the same social skills as men; they have not had as much

practice at "the garne" as men. and have had fewer mentors in this area; the "good

01' boysn network further marginalizes them, as does the practice of men in hiring

position promoting others who have similar experiences, backgrounds, and skills.

which usualiy equals the hiring of other men (Albino, 1992). McGrath (as cited in

Eakle, 1995) says that men are often selected due to their reputation or friendships

with service club members or acquaintanceships through sports affiliations. This is

further complicated by the mentoring that then succeeds this type of selection: men

chosen for upper rungs by other men in hiring positions are frequently then given

more individualized assistance than would otherwise transpire (Adler et al.. as cited

in Alston. 2000: Ebbers et al.. 2000). Women need to be careful not to fall into this

same practice: women should not simply work to advance other women. as this

"merely reinforces systernic and cultural discrimination" (Blackrnore. 2000).

Factors that seem to contribute to women being successful in leadership roles

include having strong family female role models (particularly grandmother figures),

and having at least one mentor (usually a young man. new to the organization) early

in their career (Russell and Wright. 1992). Grogan (1 999) and Regan and Brooks

(as cited in Eakle, 1995, n.p.) accord wornen leaders as being "collaborative. caring.

courageous. and reflective", and that they are noted for "sharing power. creating

shared visions. and being change agents".

Women who are also of minority groups are exposed to a "double whammy" (Ortiz.

1982; Korah. 1990; Napier. 1995). In a study by Napier (1 995). few North American

lndian women pursued advanced degrees because of the limitations placed upon

them. Their move to "break from traditional roles". including their relationships with

tribal elders, affected dynamics with family. tribal communication. and leadership

positions. Each woman who experienced discrimination and negative reception to

pursuing graduate degrees and subsequent administrative positions felt that her

experiences were unique and individ ual.

Women involved in Russell and Wright's (1 992) study of wornen principals reported

that they felt it important for women to have superior credentials. to be extremely

positive. and that they needed to work harder than others to advance up the

hierarchal ladder. In addition, the women felt that they needed to continuously

participate in professianal developrnent and in active involvement with the

community. While recognizing that they needed to be "visible" in their school district.

they had to be careful not to be seen as self-promoting. An important observation

these fernale principals had made in their ascension was that they had to learn not

to be intimidated or over-shadowed by their male colleagues at district meetings-

and that they had learned to speak up more and voice their opinions. Despite their

own success. though. the study noted that frequently women in school organizations

are relegated to marginalized administrative positions. such as to alternate schools.

vice-principalships at secondary levels, elementary positions. or central office

positions not at the upper rung (Russell and Wright, 1992: Grogan. 1999: Bell and

Chase. 1995). Furthemore. if wornen play a role seen ta be extremely valuable and

supportive. this might actually contribute to their lack of career advancement

(Grogan. 1999: Strachan. 1999: Ferguson, as cited in Strachan. 1999; McCall. as

cited in Strachan, 1999). In contrast. men's careers centre on school-building

supervision. and they are more likely to have served as the school principal rather

than in central office positions; as well, their area of specialization in graduate work

is usually in educational administration rather than curricular areas (Bell and Chase.

1995).

Grogan's (1 999) study suggests that women in educational leadership roles tend to

be problem solvers. task oriented. and have high self expectations. Further

research has shown that women tend also to have strong instructional backgrounds.

with emphasis on curriculum, and on student growth and achievement (Bell and

Chase. 1995). Wornen in top level educational roles daim that they are often

isolated and lack support. due in part to the few women working at this level. They

cite the jack of good role models, the difference in gender styles of leadership.

societal attitudes. job mobility issues. farnily responsibilities. and lack of mentoring

as being the key factors which contribute to women not making it to the top (Eakle.

1995). Gardiner (2000) states that 90 percent of al1 administrative positions in

American public schools are held by men. even though most of them have risen

from the ranks of teachers. of which 70 percent ars female; she believes that this is

primarily due to a lack of mentoring of women. Critical mass appears to be a

deterrnining factor: being part of a group of women in an organization as opposed to

being the single woman at the upper levels encourages women to voice opinions

that might otherwise not be well supported (Cassens. 2000).

Personal issues also affect women's career advancements. in that traditionally, the

male administrator was supported by a partner or wife which allowed him to

concentrate on school leadership: this also made it difficult for the man to take on

home responsibilities. and further marginalized women who struggled in the dance

between home and career. Administrators who are willing to geographically re-

locate are viewed favourably; however. it is more likely that men will re-locate, with

families following. than for women to move

solely for the wife's administrative position.

to a new location, with families in tow,

Both these aspects become increasingly

more complex as more women are ensconced in careers. Ironically. women who

move to take on a new position are not given the same respect as men (Grogan.

1999); is this perhaps because of an assumption that they couldn't obtain a higher

rung on their previous district's ladder?

"Women are suwiving leadership. but sacrificing emotion" (Sachs and Blackmore.

1998, n-p.), with several complaining of continuous exhaustion in the attempt to

juggle work and personal lives. Female administrators feel guilty in attempttng to

balance the two sides of their lives. particularly if they are single partners or have

unsupportive partners (Sachs and Blackmore. 1998). Women are still considered to

be the primary caregivers for their famiiies: if a man devotes four nights a week to

various school and community meetings. it is seen as part of his job. However. if a

woman spends this same time away from her family. she is neglecting them (Eakle.

1995). Most women who reach the executive level have live-in nannies or stay-at-

home spouses; one woman (manager of GE'S interna1 Information Technology lab).

who felt such pressure to give priority to her job. went so far as to tell her boss that

she would be available to him even if she was in labour or delivery of her second

child (McGee. 2000).

Ultimately, Fillion (1 996. n.p.) sums up this research succinctly: "female . . .

superiority is a myth" that renders "women strangers to themselves. judges of other

women. and contemptuous of or fearful toward men". We are no more superior to

men than they are to us: and if we believe this. in relation to leadership or any other

aspect of life. we "create double standards that trip us up" (Fillion. 1996. p.xii). Let

us al1 move on to embracing our own authentic styles of leadership.

CHAPTER THREE: LOOKING FOR THE GLASS CElLlNG

Research Methodology and Project Participants

In looking for the "glass ceiling" 1 used the participatory action research method of

learning circles to gather information on the journeys experienced by women in their

attainment of leadership positions. Action research is created through the actual

learning that occurs both within the circles themselves, and then when the subjects

participating take their new learning into their work and persona1 communities. it is

subsequently actioned (Stringer. 1996). The project is a record of qualitative data on

the characteristics and values experienced by women of cross-disciplines. with

diverse personal backgrounds. Although the project gathered information from

women both inside and outside of the sponsor's career domain. the characteristics

of these journeys are applicable to al1 women. and valuable from a learning

perspective for al1 of society-particularly the educational comrnunity. who has a

unique opportunity through the teaching of future generations to effect growth and

change.

Learning circles, a form of gathering knowledge through a participatory, communal

process, historically have been used national-wide from f a m unions in Alberta to

labourer-teacher study circles in Quebec, and internationally from Sweden to Brazil

(Roddick, 1993). Roddick further elaborates that learning circles are used to:

1. build comrnunity; 2. recover our history and envision the future;

3. value our folk culture; 4. and contribute to collective research.

Through the sharing that occurs within a circle. a sense of understanding grows.

empowering the participants who then share that knowledge and "actionf' it (hence.

participatory action research). Further, Belenky et al (as cited in Roddick. 1993)

suggest that participants will assimilate the knowledge more fully if they have

connected to the themes of information within the circles-which is certainly more

likely to occur in the safe. encouraging environment of a discussion circle. What

perhaps is more important in the use of learning circles in this project. is the "bonds

that form among people who are given space and time and invited to tell their

stories" (Dewar. 1994. p.13); hopefully this will transcend into the action that

transpires after the circles. and further support the district's organizational culture.

Learning circles in this project allow the participants to share stories of their

leadership journeys. permitting vulnera bilities to be shared within this safe context.

Circles assume respect and trust. allowing for each participant to speak. with no one

person dominating the conversation or solely inftuencing the direction of the

conversation. As the district practices respect. trust and integrity in its interactions.

the circle was an apt methodology to explore leadership journey characteristics of

female leaders of cross-disciplines to share back with district administrators.

Quantifiable data is available through other research; qualitative data seeking to

express understanding of the nature of leadership experiences. particularly between

diverse groups. will hopefully help to continue to build community (Roddick. 1993).

The learning circles invited participants to share experiences encountered leading

up to their current leadership position; the stories then created learning for the

participants. who in turn, took the learning from the circle into their environments.

whereupon it was actioned. In addition to the individual actions that have resulted.

the project's results will further the action research component (Stringer. 1996) in

that its summary which will be shared with the school district. to further enhance

understanding of leadership journeys. values and characteristics with the entire

learning community.

Participants were deliberately invited to elicit a cross-discipline representation. with

diversity of personal backgrounds as well (i.e. cultural. marital. age. community).

The invitation was sent individually to each subject. to ensure confidentiality: once a

group of six was confirmed, the identity of the participants was shared with each

other to ensure that no possible personality conflict exists, preventing free disclosure

within the group. (This proved to be a valuable step. as upon the revelation of willing

participants to one another, several withdrew at that stage from further involvement.)

lndividuals were informed of the right to withdraw from the process at any time. up

tolincluding the submission of the final draft of the report to the Learning Resource

Centre at Royal Roads University. and of the faculty supervisor and sponsor's

identities and roles.

Once the participant agreed to partake in the circle, advance organisers were sent

out to provide a framework for contemplation prior to the circle. Each research

subject was asked to participate in one two-hour learning circle. in which an item

was passed from subject to subject. (The first circle actually went on for a three

hour duration; the second circle was completed in just under ninety minutes.)

Ground rules were discussed and agreed upon by the entire group at the start of the

circle; respect and trust were emphasized as being mandatory in achieving the safe

tone required in a circle. I then began the dialogue. rnodelling the depth, tone and

breadth of commentls that would occur. The subjects were then invited. in turn. to

comment, question, or reflect upon the topic of leadership journeys. or passed.

Although affirmation such as nods and vocalised "nods" were permitted, participants

were asked not to interrupt nor move out of her place until the circle was closed.

The subject holding the passing item (a piece of a quilt for the first circle. the

miniature recorder in the second circle) was said to have the "floor" and the attention

of the group. The circle was audio recorded to allow the data to be transcribed for

use in the analysis of information received.

Once the circle was completed. the datalaudio recording resulting was transcribed.

and offered to each participant to ensure accuracy. The information from the first

circle was then related to the results of the second circle, which was conducted

using the same rnethod as the first. The data analysis challenge lay in looking for

the themes prevalent in the transcripts. These results were then analysed,

compared to relevant literature. and shared with the sponsor and the faculty

supervisor. This final report sums up the results.

Ethically. it is important that each participant knows that her responses or stories will

be kept confidential for the duration of the project. and destroyed when the data is

no longer required for verification of information. The participants are entitled to

know the purpose behind the study, and as to how it will be conducted and

analyzed, and were so informed. The subjects knew that they had the right to

withdraw at any time. and what resultls are hoped to come of the final report. Each

of them signed consent forms for the learning circles to be audio-recorded. stating

they had full knowledge and gave approval for transcripts to be used in part or

whole. within this project.

The strength of this methodology in gathering stories about women's leadership

journeys is that it encouraged a warm and supportive environment. making it

possible for the women to take risks in expressing vulnerabilities in the sharing of

their experiences. Learning circles allow for connections and critical evaluations to

be made. which can then be used to build community (Roddick. 1993). A key

strength is also that the participants can learn, too-not simply be subjects in the

research; unlike traditional research which isolates the participant. learning circles

create "personal action" (action research).

The limitation in having used learning circles is that it provided only qualitative data.

and not quantitative. and which was based upon the subjective data given by the

participants themselves. As well. having used audio recordings only. any non-verbal

cues were not included. (Videotaping was considered. proposed to a few of the

poiential participants. and. based upon their reaction, rejected.)

Confidentiality has been ensured through a number of processes. Although

participants will refer to each other by name in the circle (therefore on the actual

audio recording). the names are not incorporated into the transcript: instead.

pseudonyms were used. Circle participants will know to whom I am referring. for

veracity, but no one outside the circle (either before. during. or after) will know of the

identities. AH data will be secured for a period of six months following the

submission of the report to Royal Roads University, and then destroyed.

Project's Final Format

I have used a post-modernist, phenomenological writing approach for this project:

phenomenology being the study of lived experience. Richardson's work (in Denzin

and Lincoln. 1994) encourages researchers to take risks to engage readers. in the

hope that studies will actually be read. Post-modernism interprets al1 facts.

activities. events, and circurnstances through one's own perception of reality. which

means that individuals can construct their own view of the world hued with their own

values; it purports that no one method or theory has any greater claim. and opens up

traditional methods to inquiry. In the process, new methods are introduced.

Poststructuralism uses subjectivity and language to link power within a social

organization or context. Phenornenology. the study of lived experience. aims to truly

bring the experience to life so that the reader will be caught up in the story and want

t o read it. Richardson (1 992) suggests that narratives, poetic representations. or

dramatic forms are useful in revealing the tensions that can arise in study; this

project will use persona1 narratives and journal excerpts to reveal my progress

toward organizing and compiling the circles and their resulting themes. In addition.

excerpts will be taken from the first circie's transcript and presented dramatically to

represent the discussion between these women. who hold management level

positions within a variety of organizations. The second circle. made up of six female

administrators from the school district. will have its voices reflected in poetry: each

poem will attempt to portray the character and leadership journey of each woman

who participated in the circle. A subsequent poem written by an administrator who

participated in a personal interview is also included. Richardson suggests that in our

using these experimental styles the writing becomes "a process of discovery".

allowing us to "accept and nurture [our] own voices" (p.523); 1 would further suggest

that this also reflects the purpose of this study, in that the women who participated in

the learning circles were encouraged to accept and nurture their own voices in

sharing their leadership journeys.

Having described the organization and the controversial myth surrounding its wornen

in leadership roles. a review of the supporting literature. the research methodology

and participants. the report will follow with a more personalized approach to the

evolution of my research. The first email invitation will be included for review,

followed by a narrative detailing a conversation with one of the women in response

to the circle invitation: the narrative will give a detailed explanation of the

background behind learning circles and why circles are appropriate for the topic of

women's leadership journeys. Following this narrative. the stage for the subsequent

events in the research project will be described by including:

fears and preparations for the first circle; the transcript of the first circle; themes of the first circle; brief summary of events between the two circles: poems describing the leadership journeys of the women from the second circle and a personal interview; thernes from the second circle: and study conclusions.

Finally, research implications, lessons learned from the project. and from the MA LT

program, will be addressed.

CHAPTER FOUR: LEARNING CIRCLES - CROSS TlME AND CROSS

CULTURE

Scene One: The Invitation

This is the actual email invitation I sent out to invite participants to the first circle. lmmediately following it is a conversation [ha t resulted from the invitation.

Hi (name of participant)!

1 have what 1 hope will prove to be an interesting proposition/invitaticn for you ...

T'rn looking for participants in a dialogue I want ta leod on (date), a t our house (weather permitting, we'll be beside the hot tub, around the firepit, in early evening-otherwise we'll be inside). Bbq dinner t o be included. The topic of the research project's dialogue is: 'Women's Leadership Journeys".

I ' d suggest getting together a t h y 5 p.m.. in order to have an early dinner, then begin conversotion by 7 p.m., with closvre of circle a t 10 p.m. This 1s the only expectation o f your involvement fo r this project that will be required.

As you will likely remernber, 1 am ensconced in my second year of my master's program a t Royal Roads University. The focus of this second year is to do the thesis project. We are able to choose uny topic of our choosing, hopefully focusing on something near and dear t o our hearts/passions: for some o f us, this has meant work-related issues; fo r others, more personal topics. 1 am doing my project on the journey of women toward their leadership roles. The research must be action research Sased, which means we have a variety of d i f ferent methodology f rom which to choose-and of the many, I have chosen learning circles.

You may be farniliar with circles: used for the past IO0 years, they are a method in which a topic is discussed, with everyone having a chance t o speak, us if a 'talking stick" were passed around the circle. Everyone has the opportunity t o pass, rather than speak, if they choose (thts opportunity might be taken because the circle reuches you, and you haven't anything to Say; emotion might be high: etc.). Respect and t rust are huge components, as some people may share what t o them is vulnerability. Once I have a list of participants having confirmed their desire t o participate. 1 will issue a second email identifying the parttcipants; it is important to the integrity o f the circle that there be no personality conflicts/clashes. If you feel that you

cannot be f ree in your dialogue comments becouse of one o f the people attending, or feel that you can no longer participate fo r any reason, you are free to withdraw at any time.

The theory beh~nd circles is that euch individual who participates is given the opportunity to learn f rom each other's comment/s, and therefore has impact on each and every one of us as we Ieave the circle. A circle also allows the individuals' voices to be heard, which will then be reflected in the work 1 wri te up. For this purpose, the circle will be tape recorded, transcribed by me, used as anonymous excerpts in my project, and then destroyed. No one will know the identity o f the partictpants, except the group itself.

Data from the learning circles, once transcribed, will be kept on disk and hard copy, for a six month period following the submission of the project t o Royal Roads University, in case clarification is required. All material will be kept a t my residence, in a locked filing cabinet, and wili not be available for scrutiny by anyone. Data that has resulted from a subject who chooses t o withdraw after the circle has been completed will be deleted from the hard copy by black fe l t Pen, and deleted from the electronic copy.

Upon completion, the project will then be submitted to the Royal Roads University, hopefully accepted, published by the university for i t s learning centre, and/or used by my sponsor to promote leadership opportunities for women. If you are interested, 1 con arrange for you to receive a copy o f the project once it is cornpleted (next spring). A t that tirne, if participants prefer, a group debriefing can also occur.

I f you would like to participate, I ' d appreciate you getting back to me as soon as possible. The circle needs to be limited t o six people. You do have the r ight to withdraw frorn this circle process up to and including the s ta r t of the circle; once the circle has begun, 1 would ask that you continue with the actual circle itself. to not compromise the interaction. You have the option o f 'passing" during the circle's process, if you feel you do not want t o participate. at that point. I f you have reservations following the circle, and prefer that your comments not be used. you may request a w~thdrawal up to/including the time my project submission 1s finaliseci and given t o the university.

I f you have questions that need t o be clarif ied, please phone or email (probably best to email, as most o f rny hours are spent a t RRU these days): and if you are hesitant or uncornfortable in any way-please donet feel obligated. If you have concerns you would like t o raise to the attention o f my interim faculty supervisor, Barry Stevenson, please contact him a t 391-6306 or 'borry.stevensonOroyairoads". Note: Barry has agreed to be my faculty supervisor until such time (August 15) as faculty commit to projects for their duration.

By your participation, you will be consenting to my using the information gathered from the leurning circle in my master's project. Just prior to the commencement of the circle, 1 will ask you t o sign a consent form regarding the audio recording.

Thanks in advance fo r considering this requesti 1 look forward to hearing frorn you.

Jan

Scene Two: Response to the Invitation

This persona1 narrative, written in the third person. is based on actual experience and a conversation with a friend and colleague whom 1 wanted to have participate in one of the leaming circles; her voice is then heard in the transcrlpt (Chapter Five, Scene Two, "Circle One'?. ln this chapter, leaming circles and the project's topic are further explained through the narration.

"Jan, I received your email regarding your circles ... What's that ail about?"

Candace asked. setting up her sewing machine on the kitchen table. "l'm not sure if

I want to participate."

"Well. I'd like to tell you more about it-because I'rn really excited about the

whole process. and I can't wait to get started with the first circle." Jan enthused.

lifting up the teddy bear fleece bunting bag. "Candace-this baby fabric is really

cute! But why have you only made one bag? You're making another one. aren't

you? You said your sister is having twins!"

"Yes, but there's some concern about the second one whose heartbeat they

lost there for a while. They're doing an extensive ultrasound in two weeks. and we'll

know more then; until we're sure there's two babies that will be viable, we're al1

trying not to get too excited." Candace explained. "My sister's been really fortunate.

there's been a lot of support given to her through connections she's made at the

clinic. The start of the whole fertility issue was really difficult, with their just having

moved out of the province and not having a support network of any kind."

"You know. Candace. that is so much like the story of my friend. Shelley. She

rnoved with her husband to Newfoundland a year ago in the spring. when he got his

new professor position at the university. They discovered the month after they

moved that instead of one baby. they were having twins. .. However. Shelley had a

difficult pregnancy up to the end. with lots of complications. and they very tragically

lost one baby 24 hours before she delivered. The hardest part of it al1 is that

because she was so sick during the pregnancy. and their being in a new place. she

didn't have any support networks built up either." Jan shook her head. remernbering

the grief-stricken state her friend had been in, and how hard it had been to remain at

the opposite end of the country throughout the days before and after the funeral. and

in the months following the twins' births. "Shelley has always been into quilting on a

huge scale. too. designing her own patterns and everything. and she used that as a

coping method. But this circle process that I'm going to do.. .ifs sort of like what

your sister and Shelley ended up doing-attending groups where discussions and

stories could be shared. Women getting together to talk about their experiences. It

was actually during a circle that Shelley had the idea to write a children's book. to

help kids deal with the grief and unanswered questions they have.. .she had been

telling the group about how her older daughter was having such a hard time dealing

with the second baby dying, and one of the othar women suggested she come up

with a way to not only help her daughter. but other families in the same situation."

"What do you mean? Are you saying that the circles you're going to be

running will be a type of therapy, and at the same time investigate data for your

master's? That doesn't sound very traditional!" Candace exclaimed. "Are you sure

that will qualify you for your degree?"

Jan smiled. "1 had some of the same doubts myself when I heard it-l know

what you're saying. but it so matches my personal style of learning, I have to try it!

You see, the circle is a process in which groups of people get together where they

share information. stories. opinions. whatever. It's been used for years and years.

up to a hundred years ago. to the modern version that is used al1 over the world for a

variety of purposes. Not just for group therapies or support. but they're being used

for lots of other reasons as well. Sweden uses them so extensively that one in five

adults is said to have participated in at least one! They use them around the world

to talk about issues of concern, ranging from farm associations. literacy projects.

educational institutions. community groups.. ." (Baldwin. 1994).

"As in support groups for grieving?" Candace wondered.

"Not exactly-that's still more therapy-based. But the principle behind it is the

same. in that the discourse that occurs between the participants is still supposed to

provide learning based on the interaction and exchange of ideas. Sort of the same

that would occur. led by a counselling professional-only the insight gained is not

restricted to areas of personal growth. The participants share their ideas.

background and knowledge. sometirnes still taking great risks in exposing personal

vulnerabilities-dependent upon the circle's purpose-and then they go away having

learned from the others and the entire dialogue. Then that dialogue is frequently

followed up in the person's assimilation of the experience. and incorporated into

aspects of his or her life. including work" (Baldwin. 1994; Dewar. 1996).

"But who is the therapist-or expert? Does it depend on the purpose of the

circle?"

"That's right. Candace," Jan said. "There's not really a teacher or instructor-

just a facilitator who keeps the circle focused so that the dialogue can move in the

direction chosen by the participants (Baldwin. 1 994). Sometimes advance material

is distributed. like in the case of the circles used by an orgmization called the

Learning Lin k in Edmonton. used to look at future socio-economic development.

They created eight circles. based on the themes that came out of an original circle.

and six of the eight met face-to-face weekly for a month. while the other two groups

used ICQ and listservs to connect" (Office of Learning Technologies. HRDC. 2000).

"Okay. this is a little too far-fetched. Jan." Candace paused. "You're saying

that not only can you run a circle to gain data that you can use for a master's

degree. but that organisations world-wide are using them for real. hard data? And

using distant connections online. to boot?"

"Yep. I know it's risky considering using circles. let alone feminist

poststructuralism to write it up. and al1 of it about a topic that will probably just give

me more of a name of male-bashing. ..but then I've always been a risk-taker (Dewar.

1996; Richardson. 1994). I've had a few conversations with Tammy Dewar. one of

our faculty. and she's inspired me with stories of her own risk-taking. She used the

same approaches. and I loved reading her dissertation. I can't Say I've enjoyed

many other dissertations-those that even got me past the first page-i just find

them al1 so boring. dull. technical. Tammy's thesis engaged me-and that's what

got me hooked on this to start with (Dewar. 1996). Why would I want to spend

months on a project that I hated writing, even if it was a topic I was passionate

about? And the more I thought aboutit. the more I realised the learning circle will

really let me get at the heart of what interests me here: the authentic voice of the

women. And with the ability to tell their stories using poetry. dramatisation. and

anecdotal narration4 just can't wait to get started! (Richardson. 1994).

"Let me tell you some more about the circles and their processes-l've been

doing quite a bit of research. you see-because although I've circled at school or in

adminstrators' meetings. I thought it was a take-off to show respect and try on the

cultural practice of our local First Nations people-not because it was recognised

world-wide. and certainly not for gathering data that would be respected." Jan

paused to think for a moment. fingering the baby bunting bag and the accompanying

pieces of fabric they were going to use for its matching quilt. "ln fact-in a way. you

could Say the old-fashioned quilting bees were circles.. .where the women shared

information about everything."

"Let's sit and have a cup of herbal tea. shall we?" Candace pushed the fabric

and baby patterns aside. and filled the kettle. "And then you can tell me more-l'm

still not convinced I want to participate in your circle. I'rn afraid I can't just do it

because I'm your friend; I need to believe in the purpose. too."

"Okay. Where shall I start?"

"Well. tell me how the circle actually operates. If you can use it to gather data

for a wide variety of purposes and applications. how does it actually work? What

happens in a circle?"

"Well. usually a group will convene at the invitation of whoever called the

circle initially. It's best to keep it small. Say six or so people-the Edmonton groups.

for example. kept their numbers limited to no more than 12 people-because you

want the opportunity tu exist for everyone to have their Say (Office of Learning

Technologies. HRDC. 2000). You obviously sit in a circle. so you can ail see each

other, and talk to each other. The circle's centre is used as the grounding place. and

usually used some sort of symbolisrn as well-such as lighted candles. bowls of

water. stones. whatever is meaningful to the circle's purpose. The centre is

neutral-so that regardless of what happens in the circle. by gazing at it or into it. it

is supposed to have a calming effect" (Baldwin. 1994).

"And that's why you're going to use an actual fire for your circle's centre?"

Candace asked, remembering her invitation's directions.

"Yes. I'm hoping to-depending upon the weather. The literature I've read

suggests setting an environment conducive to the mood or purpose you want to

create (Baldwin. 1994). and since I want women to recall stories around their

leadership journeys. this felt right to me. If it's not raining or miserable. we'll circle

around the firepit in the deck. candles maybe. and share stories. So many of you

have said before that our place is so peaceful-"

"It is." Candace affirmed. setting the mugs full of hot charnomile tea on the

table before them.

"-that I'rn taking you al1 at your word. and assuming that that will also heip

create the atmosphere I'm looking for. Some have suggested to me that they might

find it easier to share in an office type scenario-but to me that objectifies the entire

circle's purpose, not respects it-particularly the purpose for which I want to use it.

"ln terms of the circle's process. frequently rituals of some sort are used. such

as passing around -"

"-A talking stick?"

"See, you know more than you think!" Jan told Candace. "You're right. the

First Nations people, for example. use a talking stick. It represents the control the

person holding the stick has over the right to speak. Everyone else needs to listen,

and respect what is being said. In other circles, a stone. or perhaps some other

syrnbolic item. is passed around. Whoever is holding the item has the floor. so to

speak" (Baldwin, 1994).

"What happens if it gets to you and you don't want to Say anything?"

"Then you can pass. You don? have to Say anything. You can simply listen

and take in al1 that is being said" (Baldwin, 1994).

"But then how does something like that fulfil your master's degree?" Candace

wondered. jumping back to the purpose behind Jan's circle.

'The v~hole idea behind mine. aside from the particular topic. is to do some

action research-that whatever is discussed in a circle will have some effect on each

and every participant. whether they spoke up or not. They will each be impacted

upon by the conversation, and then they'll take that information back into their own

personal worid, and act upon it.. . in some way (Dewar, 1996). For me. having

women share each other's stories will help them to have strength in taking on new

challenges, having heard what others have gone through-and maybe dispel some

myths dong the way. And when they go back to their jobs, ouf school district. their

personal lives.. . that information will be assimilated and have some sort of impact on

who they are and how they act in the future. I would imagine the very same thing

happened in quilting bees: maybe we should just resurrect more of our historical

traditions!"

"Okay. I'm starting to get that there are some definite strengths of using this

methodology-perhaps more so than in rny degree where I surveyed my whole

organization. and then spent months analysing and interviewing people." Candace

nodded.

"Right. In fact. sorneone from Alberta-l think it was Roddick-said that the

actual telling of our stories in a circle format has four purposes: it builds community.

goes over our history and then makes plans for our future, celebrates our cultures.

and adds to collective research. Her idea is that the learning actually occurs through

the conversation itself. and that our cultural values are truly expressed in our

culture's stories-like legends. fables. songs, etc. And because in a circle people

will participate. whereas in other formats they might not. the opportunity to have

sorne information divulged where it rnight not have been is huge" (Roddick. 1993).

"Hmmm ," Candace mused. " 1 suppose you're rig ht. There's obviously good

reason why tales. ballads. etc. started in the first place. Okay, so if you're passing

the stone or whatever around. and you give up some really vulnerable pieces-such

as the fact that we only ever heard about family history when Grampa Bill was three

sheets to the wind-what happens if someone who is in the circle then mocks or

ridicules? I'd walk away frorn the circle!"

"You're right-and so would i!" Jan agreed. "That's why it's important to have

ground rules in a circle to begin with. and to make sure everyone agrees to them.

Like not interrupting or giving advice, or passing judgement of any kind.

Cooperation. participation. and respect are stressed so that the group can capitalise

on the experience and the wisdom of al1 its rnembers. Christina Baldwin. in her

book, Callinq the Circle. says that we need to 'speak with intention. listen with

attention, and self-monitor our impact and contributions'. She says that storying

invites us to share our real selves-and not to participate in the shallow or the

superficial sharing we might normally do. Baldwin also says that. like we do on road

trips-'' Jan grinned at Candace. "-whatever happens on road trips. stays on road

trips" (Baldwin. 1 994).

Candace grinned back. "Meaning that whatever happens in circle. stays in

circle?"

"Right on! And if you need silence. a tirne-out. or some other sort of process

to re-focus-you are able to ask for it."

"Wouldn't it be wonderful if al1 our work meetings could be held like that?"

Candace grimaced. "So. you have this circle. and everyone shares on a particular

topic-then what? How long do these last?"

"Well. it depends on the purpose of the circle. for starters. Like that

Edmonton socio-economic thing. for example-they met weekly for a month (Office

of Learning Technologies. HRDC. 2000). My circle will only be two hours long for

each group. with hopefully two groups-if I can ever get a hold of people-so many

of thern are away on holiday. And once we've had the circle. I will take the tape

recordings. transcribe them. and then read the data over and over and over to look

for themes and patterns within each circle. and between both circles."

"Well. it sounds like a really dynamic process. Jan. How do you incorporate

literature into your approach? 1 remember doing months and months of research

before I even drafted my survey questions." Candace said doubtfully. "lt sounds as

if you just corne up with a topic. cal1 a circle. and dive in. How do you account for

the other research out there?"

" I hear you. Candace. And although the methodology is different-the onus

on research and cornparisons to published literature is still there. I will be looking for

information that deals with leadership in general. briefly; then look at issues around

women in leadership roles; and finally, feminisrn and how it has led to the current

controversy over gender issues. Learning circles is where I will start. though.

because in order to go through the process. I need to know about it thoroughly-and

I don? want to have a preconceived idea. based on literature and 20 years of

studies. about what the journeys of these women ought to look like. I want them to

tell their own stories-that is the whole focus of my project.

"So-what do you think? Would you be interested in participating? Dinner's

on me afteward for everyone who jumps in! Of course4 may need to corne back

to you after the circles are done and ask for some clarification of your messages in

the circle. and show you my draft to see if you have any problems with it-but I'm

betting by then you will be so caught up in it. right along with me. that you'll not find

that an issue."

Candace was quiet for a minute. as she reflected upon what Jan had said.

She busied herself picking up the empty tea mugs. and putting them into the

dishwasher. Finally. she turned back to Jan, a big srnile on her face. "How could I

Say no? And who knows ... the process might work so well for me. I might try it at the

office !"

"Thanks. Candace," Jan smiled back. " 1 appreciate your support. Now. how

about our getting started on that baby quilt?"

CHAPTER FIVE: LlSTENlNG FOR THE GLASS CEILING'S BREAK

After sending out the email invitation. and upon having had an excellent response, I

took my usual care in planning for a social activity at the farm. I deliberately planned

food which could be prepared in advance. with a roast chicken to slow cook in the

oven. timed to finish when I expected the circle to conclude. I tested the recording

devices. arranged deck furniture. and built a fire around which we would sit. Being

fully prepared. however. doesn't mean that I was not without some anxiety.. .

Scene One: Fears and Preparations (excerpt from Jan 's journal)

August 11th

I 'm really nervous about this upcoming circle. I t ' s not the circle itself that

concerns me ... 1 know that f rom the research I've done and the conversations

we've had in the MALT classroorn that I'm willing to run that risk ... 1 know a lot

of people-people within my district, other academic institutions, f riends-will

not t reat it seriously, and pooh-pooh the issue of it being regarded as serious

research ... But how is this circle going t o corne off? Will the participants give

up the information I'rn hoping will lead t o something valuable and insightf ul in

terms of this topic? Or wil l it just validate others' criticism that this isn't a

good research methodo logy?

(conversation between Jan and her pariner at home. one hour pnor to the first

circie 's sta rt)

Jan: What do you mean the fenceposts still haven't arrived? My circle starts in an

hour! You said that the delivery truck was going to be here this morning! How can I

have a group of wornen sharing intimate, vulnerable details outside on the deck. if a

delivery truck drops 350 fenceposts within 100 feet of the session? How does that

add to the sense of respect and intirnacy I'rn trying to create?

(Narrative - one hour later.)

lt was 4:00 p.m., and none of the group had yet arrived. I was starting to feel

increasingly anxious; the impending arriva1 of the fenceposts. my concern over the

technology not working. the risk of the research method I was about to

undertake.. . .would it al1 be a bust? At the very worst, I realized that it would simply

be an opportunity for a good discussion to occur. and knowing that participants

would be cornfortable in that this was a learning exercise for al1 of us. and that it

wouldn't be judged. calmed me. Whatever happened. happened. .. l had to trust the

p rocess .

Scene Two: Circle One

We met outside on our lower deck. around the firepit that is built into our deck. I had

arranged Adirondack chairs into a circle around the fire. with the firewood specifically

chosen not to spark and explode. The women chose their own seating

arrangement. I rernoved the chair for the one woman who hadn't been able to corne

at the last minute. and we began-testing the technology. and exploring ground

rules for the group. I had selected a square of the quilt on which I was currently

working to be the significant item to be passed around. to represent that each of us

were a piece within a larger framework. .And so we began.

(The following are excerpts from the first circle's transcr@t: all identifjing comments have been omitted)

JAN: . . . remember. circles were used for quilting bees.. . this is sort of an epiphany for me. ;!-/en that I had taken up quilting last fall as a way to try and put balance back into my life while trying to do these distance ed courses [for our master's program]. Given that we're going to talk today about leadership. I was wondering about quilting bees and the conversations. .. What would the women have talked about? What would have been going on in their communities? This square that we will pass around from person to person.. . has a phrase on it that says "winter quilts and warm friends "... This has special significance to me. given its symbolism of seeking balance between personal and professional life in rny leadership journey.. . [Jan then goes on to explain ground rules. reviews the circle's history and its process for today] Round One: So where aie you in your leadership journey?

VAL: 52 years . . . I have only 8 years before retirement; urgency.. . how do I drive leadership, what can 1 personally do before I leave work.. .l'm so excited at where women are right now, we have so many possibilities and so much potential. 1 didn't even realize until the 70s that women could be equal.

CANDACE: Youth and its contribution to the imposter syndrome. What is my personal leadership style? How do I balance.. . how do I be the "Martha Stewart" at home. an administrator in the school district. be in as good of shape as Shania Twain, be a mom.. . How do I do it ail?

JOANIE: 50 years and that sense of urgency.. . .what I'd like to achieve. I've compared what I've done to theory as described and practiced by men.. . I've been looking for affirmation of my leadership style and practice, and this program has certainly excited me ... I feel as if I no longer need that affirmation. that I can trust my instincts and have confidence in my actions.

KAREN: I've been content with where 1 am in life throughout. I did think I needed to do it al1 and be good at it all. but now 1 feel I can be true to myself.. .and that is very freeing. not feeling like you have to live up to other people's expectations.. . it's self- energizing. Leadership means community, and being of service to your community. even suffering and thriving with the community. This is easter in a small community.. . I used to have such discomfort in feeling community with women of my own age; that has changed now; 1 am learning from other women's journeys. 16 years later, and I'm extremely cornfortable with this.

JAN: I had a great lack of confidence in myself due to comparison against men's leadership styles: I felt 1 didn't compare. Getting to know strong women in administrative roles has taught me that I can do it, and that my strengths can and should be recognized. and that I shouldn't try to be someone I'm not. I felt like my job couldn't be a career-l had to be a "wife" first and foremost. and I struggled with this being in a same-sex relationship.. . I didn't have significant female mentors. I really only admired male role models. 1 certainly felt like women were secondary to men in al1 aspects of life.

VAL: My journey had no direction.. . it just sort of evolved. I certainly was raised to want a husband and children and to be happy vdh that ... But I kept growing and changing. and when that meant that I had outgrown the people who were around me. I had to move on. I don't see myself as a leader ...

CANDACE: My father's side of the farnily is very traditional with women playing the supportive role in the home: my mother's family is completely different. My great aunt was the first female mayor in al1 of Manitoba ... I had great female rote models on that side of the family, but it sent conflicting messages to me. My dad's side of the family is horrified I haven't had children. that we lived together before we got married, that 1 don't make my husband's lunch ... But my mother's family and being around my [matemal] grandmother in the summers 1 was 12, 13. and 14.. . it had a huge impact on me. seeing al1 these women being active in their communities. I'm still torn between feeling I should be able to do it all, such as canning peaches in the Okanagan in the summertime in the only week I have off between school and doing my master's.. .but I'rn trying to let go of that a little bit.

JOANIE: In rny age group it was expected that women wouldn't get along.. . that "cat- fight" kind of cornpetition, who do they dress for. etc. But rny most rewarding and deepest relationships have been with other women ... I was born 4-5 years post-

war, and my parents raised me thinking that I would of course go to university. I can remember saying I would take typing in grade 9, and my mother being horrified and my parents going to the school and insisting that I would take Latin. not typing. I didn't hear the phrases "when you get married" and "when you have children". . . it was "when you go to university" and "when you travel". . . So l've done those things, and I haven't married and I don't have children.. . I was proud and glad of the fact that I didn't make jam.. . but now I'm ready to explore that side of my life.

KAREN: Both my parents were incredibly strong individuals.. . My mother divorced my father after 25 years and 4 children, and went back to get her high school degree and then her optometrist's degree at the age of 56. My father always told me that I was going to be a lawyer.. .and I felt tremendous guilt when I didn't and that I lived a very quiet domestic life for a long time.

JAN: I have 2 sisters ... and we've al1 led different journeys. I was in a serious relationship. where he certainly thought we would get married. and he started to make comments about "when we're married you will do this and you will be like this and this is what we're going to do.. ." and an edge came up in me and I ended the relationship. One of my sisters got married at a very early age. and now is getting divorced. with hivo kids, and the other sister has been in a long-term relationship but never gotten married. I know I still feel as if I need to do it all.. . be the pickler. be the home decorator. pack-the-lunch-for-the-spouse in the morning. wipe the kids' noses at night. tuck them into bed ... Where do we ever put ourselves first in the montage of what everyone else has layered over us? What is important to us? What are our dreams and aspirations, and when do they stop being everyone else's dreams and aspirations? And how does this affect how we lead?

VAL: I grew up in the superwoman syndrome. The 70s and 80s ... the books said you can have it al1 and you can do it all. It's not true. And I'rn at the point where I don't just want to be someone who's involved in it all. 1 want to make an impact- and that means that sornething is going to have to give. 1 have to have goals and be clear about them, and other things will have to take less priority. We can't be superwoman-we can't do it all.

CANDACE: 1 don? make the time for reflection. .. I just keep pushing and pushing. and moving from one goal to the next. I actually wished I was 40 when I turned 30, just because I'rn in such a hurry, such a desire, to have al1 the experience and know who I am. One of the older women with whorn I worked just laughed at me-and told me to relax, that l'II never get to that point. I'rn living with my parents again right now, and when my dad goes to bed at 9:30. the whole house shuts down. And that's just the way it is [at my parents' house. historically and presently]. And that's even despite my mother having gone to university and becorning a teacher, even though she quit when they rnoved to BC. I'rn conscious that I don't want to give up too much of myself from the way I was brought up, but I'm also trying to find out who 1 am.

JOANIE: When I became an assistant superintendent at the age of 37. 1 didn't care about the guys with whorn I worked. but I was very concerned about the secretary who worked down the hall. and al1 the generations who would come after me. I felt tremendous pressure to do an incredible job.. . We have collective agreements that allow everyone to take time out during the day for personal activities. in addition to school activities, and it works for the two men and ail the rest who are women.. . But in the 70s. when you had the campaigns that said "Why not?" and which stood for "why not your daughter as a lawyer?" there were still the other tracks laid down that said the lawyer had to be home making cookies. too. Perhaps it's tirne for us to figure out what is no longer appropriate to try and bring together-for us to focus on just one set of the tracks.

KAREN: We al1 have these expectations laid upon us by others, by society.. . but ultimately we have to be true to ourselves. We need to set Our own indicators of success, not live by others'. We can't let this be seen as selfish. I've learned that I have to listen to my feminine voice, that I shouldn't put on the male voice to succeed.. .putting on that 3-piece suite and the masculine voice actually was a soul- wrenching experience for me. It wasn't healthy for me. I have to be true to the nurturing voice that brings things that need to be in the workplace now. and I have to push that male voice. that achieving "1-can-do-this" voice away, and offer up my nurturing voice. .. because this is being true to myself.

JAN: There's that double-whammy for me-that I Wear a suit and the so-called male voice. because I'm gay. I want to nurture and care and let my feminine voice come out.. . but I don't feel that 1 will be as successful or treated as seriously or as competently as when I use the masculine voice. So I push my feminine side away. and pull on the other façade, which makes me feel less comfortable. of course. because then I'm not being genuine or sincere. I was having a discussion with my partner who is very good at putting on her masculine voice, and she is quite often treated more seriously by people because of this-even if we Say exactly the same thing. but in our "genuine voices". And I asked her why she thought that when this happens. she is "heard". and I am not ... and after thinking about it for a bit. she said that she thinks it is because she rationalizes through her explanation. whereas I emote-and the listener responds more to the authority in the rationalization than the emoting. Since having had that conversation, I've deliberately tried to put more rationalization and logic and cairn into my decision-making and delivery. even with staff. and found that I can do it, and it's more effective ... but 1 have to still find a way for me to be able to do it that is genuine. and not just pulling on that male voice again. 1 don't understand why the nurturing and caring and supporting that women do is so threatening in a workplace ... 1 don't understand why these can't be seen as positive attributes, while being different attributes, and that we can all be respected equally?

VAL: It really frustrates me that in a meeting I can make a suggestion. and half an hour later someone else re-phrases it. and they get the credit for it. ..what is it about how 1 said it that it wasn't heard? And in our organization we have four men and two

women at the management level, and I'm part-time. and about to leave. and 1 know what's going to happen-the two men at the top are going to hire people just like thernselves. and it's going to perpetuate. And the men don't see the glass ceiling- they think the women are getting through to the top levels. but what they don't see is that the women even at the higher levels are still running around and doing the copying.. . and ultimately leaving the corporation because they don't feel that they're being valued. Ultimately it al1 comes down to whose voice is being heard.. .

CANDACE: Who is doing the mentoring? How is mentoring most effective? Are men doing it for men. and women doing it for women? I've found that women will look out more for women, there seems to be more of a personal connection than with men. .. I feel like women leaders go more out of their way for the staff they work with.. . This district that I'm working in now seems more progressive than from where I've corne-there are hnro women at the board office. and several women principals ... my principal at my new school has only been in the career for 7 or 8 years. so diversity seems to be valued more than from where I've come. I've used more of a male voice in the past. most significantly in some workshops to teachers I've been giving-dressed in the suit and everything, but in the most recent. I focused more on using my female voice. and allowing some of the passion come out-and it went better than the previous ones. So I'm learning to get my ferninine voice back.

JOANIE: Men seem to feel leadership positions are their birthright: that after they've put in a certain amount of time, they are entitled to move up. Wornen in my experience aren't that way-until they feel absolutely and thoroughly certain that they can do the job they don't go for it. I think the quality of leadership will increase by having people who are more thoroughly prepared for the job move up the ranks. including bringing that female voice with them. There's a feeling that if the glass ceiling's been broken by one woman. then that's good enoug h.. .the men I've worked with don't seem to realize that there needs to be more evidence of it that just that one example to address inequity. I think a wornan's voice means being more relational, and this is true for me. although I don't think it's true for al1 wornen. We shouldn't corner people or ourselves when we talk about male and female voices.. . it would be great to get to a point where we no longer feel we have to use those words.

KAREN: We need to be able to find ways for al1 of us to explore our whole voice. not just women to explore theirs. but for ways to give men the freedom to Say. "1 can't be the macho guy al1 the time; I don't even like it." We are learning as women to Say. my leadership role is not defined by my position. My contribution to the organization is not defined by the name of my job. But I would surmise that most men don't feel they have the freedorn even to explore that discourse. So is our leadership challenge more than taking care of ourselves?

JAN: How do we enable it al1 coming together? So that men can use feminine voices and attributes, and women c m use whatever aspects of both voices that work for them, or not.. .

VAL: I'm going to run a session at the end of August. where I will deliberately challenge everyone to bring al1 of their voice !O the table, their passion. their integrity. their genuineness ... and it's going to be hard. particularly for the tough guys. but I know that I need to do it.

CANDACE: I have to keep in mind the cultural influences that some of the kids 1 teach have been raised with, and the generational factors ... I know the issues my husband, who's 35, had to deal with, and then 1 think, what must it have been like for men who are 15 or 20 years older than him as they were growing up? How can we help people who've had such different layers placed upon them while growing up to allow those voices to corne out? What is genuine and what is assumed?

JOANIE: As a society, that should be our long-term strategy: to look at the messages that we're giving out. I've been at meetings where the old boys' network kicks in. and the exclusionary language and the conversation about the hockey games goes on. and 1 feel isolated. I never had a mentor. but I did have some wonderful female friends with whorn I can engage in wonderfully irreverent sexist stuff after meetings to debrief and get rid of sorne of the toxicity. We al1 need to look after ourselves.

KAREN: We need to be able to let go of stuff, and not harbour it and let it affect us ... What really gets me is that there are women doing jobs who don't believe they're making the place they are working any better.. .

Soft crying; pause in conversation

JAN: I need to find how to balance my voices.. . how to have control and yet still show the passion and caring and nurturing. Like my first year where I felt 1 kept it all together. and never really let staff know how I felt. until we had one of our kids, a 16 year old girl, who had been bounced from foster home to foster home and things were so bad. and 1 just wanted desperately at one point to just take her home and take care of her. And I broke down and cried in front of the staff.. .and I don't think they quite knew how to deal with it. how to take it. because up to that point it had been me in control doing the male voice thing ... So I need to show how I can be vulnerable and take risks and yet still feel like I'm being heard and that I'm making sense and doing the other things 1 want to get across.

VAL: There is a passion inside me that wants out. and I've not let some of it out. but it's not enough. I want to let more out. 1 want to be free. I want to be who I want to be and I want to be accepted for who 1 am, which I am pretty well in most of my life anyway. And I want to make a difference. But something's holding me back, and I'm nervous.. .

CANDACE: I find it difficult with women my own age who maybe haven't taken the risks that I've taken who will Say things like, "But you're so lucky. Everything falls into

place for you." There's no acknowledgement of the work that I've done and that really bothers me.. .and I haven't gotten close to a lot of people because of it.

Sot? crying; talk ceases for a minute

JOANIE: Mentoring younger women has helped me analyze where I've been. It's so important to give back ... There are other trails that still need to be thought about ... I can relate to that wanting to be part of the in-crowd. that notion that well. I wasn't on the old tirners' hockey-and then finally coming to the conclusion. Thank God!

Laughing - laughing in background as well

KAREN: So how do we corne to know our uniqueness and how do we celebrate it? There are big risks to celebrating it, such as others not acknowledging it. We need to corne to grips with ourselves on how important it is for us to be acknowledged. even in the situation where 20 minutes later the message that we were trying to convey is finally heard when someone else expresses it. It takes courage to Say I'm not going to walk along with those 40 people and do whatever I need to do to fit in. because I have something else calling me and I don? know what that is that's calling me. .. I think that's a challenge for us. to not only invite other people to participate in courageous conversation. and to create those conversations ourselves.

VAL: I think it's our role as leaders-it's my role-l've got to challenge the status quo. And I think before I leave my organization. I have to Say why I'rn leaving.. .and that's very scary.

CANDACE: I'm starting in a new organization this year. and one of rny fears is that I won? fit in again.. .and I need to try to decide how important is and to hope that I can be myself and still fit in.. .

Sot? crying; Joanie passes, caught up in the emotion

KAREN: One of the aha's I've had this summer is then when we hold this discussion about women in leadership and glass ceilings. we're using a traditional measurement-you're a successful woman if you're the v-p of the company, the hell with all the good you've done in the company without being the v-p. and are we comparing apples to oranges? Are we saying that an indicator of success for a woman leader is that she's broken the glass ceiling or an indicator of success to a woman leader is that she's made a profound difference in the workplace. Maybe our quest is not to get women in high-placed jobs but to have them acknowledged for the wonderful things they're doing in organizations. Maybe we as women leaders need to recognize that that may mean not fitting in.

JAN: 1 think it's important for us to rernember that our perceptions are not necessariiy everyone else's perceptions: we need to ask and look for feedback. and give it, because a lot of Our assumptions have proven to be erroneous. We build for

ourselves a set of expectations. sometimes created through familial and societal origin, and then we imagine that others view or judge us the same as we are.. . l think there needs to be more communication about just how others see us. It's reassuring for me to hear that my experiences are not unique, and that the issues I've been struggling with, others have. too.

VAL: It's ironic that it is the people who are doing doing doing that get the recognition. vs the people who are mentoring and developing and coaching. and which doesn't get seen or recognized. (Pause) Leadership is al1 about values and integrity. I have to act with integrity; that is more important to me than anything else.

CANDACE: I think "doing" is part of being in a male organization. where doing is rewarded. I know I can be a doer, but is this because I want to. or because 1 feel I have to. to get recognized?

JOANIE: 80% of us in our master's class are women.. .Cs interesting. That point about integrity-it's so important. it's so close, it's so deep inside of you.. . those kinds of struggles are not easy ones.

KAREN: Would I seIl my sou1 for the glass ceiling? No.

JAN: What I'm going to take away from tonight is to be encouraged to walk the walk I am. to continue to believe in myself. I know that even though I haven't chosen an easy road I am making a difference, whether in the lives of students. coworkers. or community.. .and I need to just go on and trust my guts.

VAL: It's given me courage to move foward to know that others are experiencing the same issues. Thank you for sharing your journeys.

CANDACE: This would be an interesting conversation to have with my great aunt. who's now in her 80s. and taking courses at the University of Winnipeg. Has she been lonely? Does she fit in anywhere? Not really.. . It's been interesting to me to see how we're more similar than different.

JOANIE: I'm just going to echo what's been said.

KAREN:I feel so privileged to have been part of this discussion ... what I'm going to take away are the voices of our childhood.. .which helps me to understand the profound effect the voices of al1 the people we corne into contact with in our lives have on us.

JAN: Thank you for coming and participating, for inspiring and enriching my year. and encouraging my heart and in letting me learn from you. Thank you.

Scene Three: The lmmediate Aftermath

In the hours after the circle completed. the conversation continued. We could have

had the tape running for the entire night. and have had enough data to fiIl multiple

projects. Exhausted and emotionally drained at the conclusion of the three-hour

circle, we moved into the house and had a warm. comforting meal. and then sat in

front of the fireplace. the room lit by candles. and talked till well into the night. I think

what impacted on al1 of us the rnost was how similar our experiences had been; that

as much as we had struggled in finding and applying our voices in our leadership

journeys, and despite the vast differences in ages. cultures. and personal life

circumstances, we shared so many cornmonalties: feeling isolated. that we didn't fit

in. like we had to do it all. attempting to accommodate societal expectations for

authority figures to exhibit male voices while remaining true to our passion and

souk. We had an age range of 30 years to 52 years. with combined life experiences

of abuse. violence. divorce. marriage. graduate degrees. children. no children. loss.

and exultation ... and al1 of us were encouraged by the others' experiences. and in

the sharing of the journeys.

CHAPTER SIX: THEMES FROM CIRCLE ONE

Overwhelmingly. the thernes from the first circle are of the women seeking to

express authenticity in their leadership roles (Sachs and Blackmore. 1998). The

women are al1 high-achieving individuals who hold positions of responsibility. who

set extremely high self-expectations, and come from a cross-section of professions.

including education. human resources, and organizational consulting. An age range

of 30 years to mid-50s exists. with two of the five women at the younger end of the

span. The theme of urgency particularly is heard initially from the older women. who

feel that their time in which to leave their "markv' is running out. F amily role

modelling and expectations is discussed. The struggle in achieving a sense of

balance between work and home is stressed. and the suggestions that mentorship

and changing societal attitudes needs to occur end the session with hope.

(Reference citations to direct quotes from the transcript itself will note the speaker

and the specific page number on which the quote is included within this project

report.)

Three of the women have fewer than 10 years prior to retirement; their concern is

that having lived through an era where they had multiple layers of expectations upon

them. and little value for their work contributions. that they leave a significant impact.

They put their families first, "didnvt even realize until the 70s that women could be

equal" (Val, p.40). and are finally feeling the affirmation and "confidence in [their]

actions" (Joanie. p.41).

Origins of family expectations and role modelling are discussed. with a difference

again related to generation. Each of the women had supportive families. who. even

if encouraged traditional roles for the women as they grew up. provided strong

matriarchal figures (Russell and Wright. 1992). This role modelling did send

conflicting messages. which perhaps accounts for the conflicted behaviour when the

women became independent: although they each wanted to be successful in the

career worid. rnost felt they needed to "make [the] husband's lunch" (Candace, p.41)

and "be home making cookies" (Joanie. p.43). Joanie did have extremely strong

messages sent that she needed to pursue a career and university. which she

followed. but now indicates she's "ready to explore" the more domestic side of life

(p.42).

The conflict created problems in achieving a sense of balance between their work

and their home worlds for the women. Candace expresses her struggle early in the

circle, "How do I do it all?" (p.41) She indicates that she tries to do it all. in working

hard at her profession. doing her master's, maintaining a level of fitness. and still

"canning peaches" (p.41) in whatever spare time she has left: she professes that in

her attempt to achieve her highest aspirations. she has regretfully decided that she

will not be able to include children and still maintain the balance. Val describes

herself as having grown up in the era of the "superwoman syndrome". where women

"can have it al1 and ... do it all" (p.42). She concludes that it isn't true-something

has to be sacrifked. Joanie concun with this. saying that women should be able to

focus on "just one side" (p.43). Karen further reflects that perhaps women should be

setting their "own indicators of success" (p.43). and that this would help them be

more authentic in their leadership style. Literature documents women's struggie in

balancing personal lives with professional careers. and in not receiving the same

respect for putting their careers first (Sachs and Blackmore. 1998: Eakle. 1995;

Grogan. 1999).

The struggle between leadership styles. specifically men's and women's ways of

leading. is apparent in the women. Discussion touches even on their delivering the

exact same message at meetings as men. but that it is the men's voices who are

ultimately heard. and not the women (Val. p.44). Joanie compares her life's

achievements thus far as not equating to men's achievements (p.41). despite having

been made an assistant superintendent at age 37. Jan admires only male role

models. believing that even equivalent positions held by wornen aren't valued

equally. Although Karen used to "[put] on that three-piece suit and [a] masculine

voice.. . it wasn't healthy for [her]"; she now "offer[s] up [her] nurturing voice" which is

more true (p.43). Candace also cites examples of pulling on the "male voice".

complete with "suit and everything". but is "learning to get [her] ferninine voice back"

(p.44). Joanie concludes that "a woman's voice means being more relational".

although qualifies that this isn't "true for al1 wornen" (p.44). Karen and Joanie point

out that regardless of gender, "we need to . . . find ways . . . to explore our whole

voice". and that "it would be great to get to a point where we no longer feel we have

to use those words" (p.44). These styles of leadership are alluded to in work by Bell

and Chase (1 995). Strachan (1 999). McGee (2000). Tedrow (1 999). Grogan (1999).

Kawakami et al. (2000). Blackmore (2000), and Albino (1992).

The underlying foundation for authenticity is to act true to ourselves. Jan wants to

"nurture and care". and doesn't understand why those qualities are "so threatening in

a workplace" (p.43). She wants to "balance [her] voices". "be vulnerable and take

risks and yet still feel like [she's] being heard" (p.45). Val wants to let her passion

out, and "to be free" and "accepted for who [she is] . . . and [still] make a difference"

(pp.45-46). The women point out that in acting with integrity and in accordance with

their value systems. they are truly acting as leaders. even if it "may mean not fitting

in" (Karen. p.46). They conclude that they need to stop using "traditional

measurements" (Karen, p.46). "challenge the status quo" (Val. p.46). and that "those

kinds of struggles are not easy" (Joanie, p.47). This stress on authenticity is

repeated in literature by Grogan (1999). Blackmore (2000). and Albino (1 992).

It is perhaps of some interest at this point to reflect that in my atternpt. personally. to

achieve a sense of balance in my life (between my career. master's program. and

responsibiiities at home on our farm). that I took on the task of learning how to quilt:

a very traditional. ferninine way of being. This did not occur to me in the actual circle

itself while we were talking about this, despite both my having mentioned it at length

in the introduction and our using a piece of the actual quilt on which I was working as

our syrnbolic item to pass around for that first circle. However. upon reflection. this

-60 -

small significance reinforces for me that I need to remain true to rny authentic self,

and that this where rny own true comfort zone lies.

CHAPTER SEVEN: BRlDGlNG THE CIRCLES

The second circle. which invited the female administrators in our school district to

participate. took several email rounds to arrange. The email invitation was sent out

in early September, suggesting that given the time constraints of school in the first

hectic month of a school year. we look for a mutually agreeable time to meet in

October. Unfortunately. schedules did not mesh till nearly the end of November.

although this did not mean I had idle time on my hands.

In the months that passed after the first circle. I acquired literature references. and

met with five women for personal interviews (two women were also female

administrators in our district, and three were management level in other

organizations). I grew increasingly amazed at the similarities in the stories that were

evolving in the transcribing and in the intewiews. Themes of nurturing and caring

creating community, respect. and valuing diversity came through again and again.

as well as the sense of frustration the women expressed in never meeting self-

expectations. or in achieving balance in their lives.

The following poem. "Making a Difference". was written by one of the female

administrators who participateci in a personal interview: her themes are extremely

resonant of the others which ernerged in the second circle. held ir! late November.

MAKlNG A DIFFERENCE

When I first began this journey l thought 1 could

make a difference. I thought I could offer my time and abilities. that I could organize. prepare and defend.

I thought that the time I spent on these tasks was time well spent.

But this journey is endless. The destination is never reached and the mileposts achieved

are al1 that brings satisfaction. I was never prepared for the days when

1 didn't make a difference.

When the frustration. anxiety and anguish of rnissed opportunities and lost chances began to colour

that time spent. There was a danger of sacrificing the self in an effort to

make a difference.

With time cornes understanding and the knowledge that balancing is critical.

though difficult to achieve. The time to uncover hidden talents and to

experience the events which support and enhance the self becomes the key to being able to

make a difference.

Now I realize that the journey is the destination.

And with this knowledge. l know I can

make a difference.

Author: Female Administrator March 2001

CHAPTER EIGHT: ADMINISTRATORS CIRCLING

I am privileged to work with a great number of incredible leaders in Our district. with

an alrnost equal ratio of women to men. Several of these women joined me for

conversation on the topic of women in leadership journeys. both in a circle format.

and. for two who couldn't make the circle, in personal interviews. While I had

thought that using a circle format to effect action research challenged my own sense

of traditional research. I was surprised to find that even in doing the personal

interviews the same effect transpired: I was affected by what each wornan shared.

and their perspectives have since been actioned in my subsequent interactions with

other leaders and in my own leadership role.

As before. the women were given the emailed invitation with the framework for the

circle. and advance organizers to provoke thought ahead of time. The location

differed from the first circle: since the women participating were al1 trying to fit the

circle into their busy professional days and lived a significant distance from my home

(where the first circle had taken place). I struggled at first to corne up with a location

that would provide the atmosphere I wanted. I chose a local bed and breakfast that

operates a hobby farm on acreage overlooking a lake: the grounds are beautiful. the

heritage house is incredible, and the food (al1 made on-site) is delectable. There are

several different settings within the B&B. from a large meeting area to the dining

room. but I chose the srnall sitting room. where we could be seated next to the

fireplace. and still observe the early winter elements outside the large windows. The

setting was perfect: it was cosy and intimate, with comfortable wing-backed chairs;

the hostess had even decorated for the o!srt of the Christmas holiday, and next to

the fireplace was a Victorian-decorated Christmas tree. After a busy day at our

respective district roles, we came together for a light supper. relaxed and shared

aspects of our days. and then set everything aside to begin the circle discussion. I

centred us with a single candle on a footstool; the fireplace occupied one side of the

circle. After reviewing ground rules. we began the dialogue.

The stories were incredibly similar to those expressed by the participants from the

first circle. As I began to consider how I would relate the transcript from the second

circle in my project's report. I found myself thinking of each woman's words as a

composite of her journey. and poetic representations took shape in my mind.

Richardson (1 994. p.522) quotes Robert Frost in saying that a poem "is the shortest

emotional distance between h o points-the speaker and the reader." She further

adds that "when we read or hear poetry. we are continually nudged into recognizing

that the text has been constructed". and that "poetry may actually better represent

the speaker" than prose. As the women in this circle are from within our school

district, I felt that depicting their stories in a poetry format would not only allow the

sharing of the similarity in themes. but also would further protect their identity by not

disclosing actual circle statements. The names of the participants (as the title of the

poems) have been changed to protect their identities: the order of the poems

corresponds to the actual order of the speakers in the circle itself. As well. the

themes apparent in each poem will correspond to the questions asked in each round

of discussion. Discussion within the circle elicited cornments related to childhood

family values. the struggle in balancing work and personal lives. their attainment of

leadership roles and the journeys experienced in reaching those roles.

ISLA

I learned early on to be true to myself

I didn't need to act like a man

Maternai lessons of independence I claimed opportunities rny rnother never had

When leadership came knocking my Confidence answered.. .

not without trepidation

What do I do. and what do I know, that no else does? Doesn't everybody teach the way I do?

lmposter syndrome, Lacking the clothes and the jewelry.

I survived Other women's criticisrn and lack of charity.. .

And thrived under mentorship by a few female administrators

Women have always been nurturers It adds to how we tead

We need to be part of a community.

to support Do we need to be needed?

The caring, the emotions. the supporting These are the differences between

Us and them.

The men i respect as leaders Also embody these pieces

Women don't necessarily make better leaders Nor men not share "our" characteristics

We al1 need to remember the reason behind Why we're in this role

Wa need to support other women who dare to take risks

We need to be who we are. .. they recognize imposters.

ANNE

Being a mother to my son was a priority My work was just a job

Somewhere along the line I set goals

And then I met thern.

I was shocked. "Now what do 1 do?"

Cradled in support, Grounded in confidence.

I'm an idealist.. . backed with hard work. I believe in my goals.

I believe in thern enough

to get others to believe in them. too. This feedback inspires my endurance.

My dad is proud of me. This is important to me.. . to have achieved success

By his definition.

I'm not sure where I want to go now What is important to me?

Where do I want my life to go?

I know I am doing a great job. I know my hard work is appreciated. But what do I want to do for myself.

What do I want?

Every time I set my sights on sornething. I achieved it.

It surprised me.

Being the oldest child in a family Contributes to later getting leadership positions

We help to take care of the others

My parents told me "You can do anything you want to do.

But finish anything you start." They were very supportive.

And inspired my self-confidence.

Growing up in a small town I learned to take the opportunities

To practice leadership To take my experiences and apply them in a new situation

Being the only woman The "token" woman I knew 1 could do it

The challenge only made me stronger And more determined

In my dance

We don't have the water cooler or the network We work harder

We accomplish more than we're expected to. We nurture those with whom we work,

We take care of them. We are independent. and we pick up the gauntlet when it's thrown down.

The ladder above us does not intimidate, We know that it's just a matter of getting the job done.

After all, I have to finish What 1 have started.

MAUREEN

I didn't think I had the confidence Could ever be the leader

I was always willing to help out when asked. Or in taking on tasks I thought were unimportant

(in the grand scheme of things) It was just a matter. then. of caring for others

And doing what I knew to do

I never saw it as leadership

Others recognized my ability And illuminated the opportunities for me

Reinforced that it was OKAY for me to go for them Taught me that I should do them.

I haven't set goals. I've just fallen into these opportunities.

I never saw it as leadership

C hild hood values Cornmitment, energy, belief in the possibilities

These are carried with us "You can make sornething out of anything.

If there is a need, you fulfill it."

I never saw it as leadership

I do nurture, 1 do take care of others.

I welcome.

Where does ouf nurturing And getting the job done

Extend to ourselves? At what point do we take time

To place ourselves first.. .

You have to imagine the possibilities Apply the energy

Believe in the outcome

This is leadership

VICTORIA

Opportunity knocks Sometimes I choose another door

Or. imagine a different one And walk through it

There is a ladder; I refuse to be lirnited by its single, linear route

by hierarchical rungs by a ceiling. glass or otherwise. placed in my way.

I'm happy to play with the ladder Sidestep rungs, hop on it, stand by it

But I have better things to do than spend time Looking up and look down.

I chafe against expectations resent judgement. and

wriggle out from beneath hands. placed upon my shoulders.

to steer me, or holci me back

Daydreamer lrnagining the what ifs

I need to know that i have contributed Stimulated a peaceful order

amid chaos

Don't try to fence me in I will see the holes and go beyond the bounds Nothing ever came from taking the easy road.

I need change Complacency is not in my itinerary

I rnust move on.

Curiosity . . . It makes us more inventive, and instills confidence

Our ways are good ways.

We recognize each other's strengths. and work together.

i respect the Song of your drum And walk to the beat of mine.

Our comrnunity has many drums and songs- May I pass you the sticks?

I wonder . . .

What l'Il do next?

My enthusiasm and zest for life Carry me fonvard

Determination and hard work the vehicles

behind my passage Humour. caring and my love of community

The tracks beneath my train How 1 love this work that I do

How much I want to be with the children More than I want to be by myself

I start a new job. The excitement bubbling out of me

Like the effervescence lifting off champagne It bubbles faster As 1 wonder . . .

what l'II do next

The imposter syndrome lurking. Reminds me

I need to slow down Enjoy this journey

Not rush toward the next

We take on al1 the little tasks As well as al1 the big ones

We support and we nurture and we care Hold al1 the loose ends together

We always "have a minute"

But we seldom give any of them to ourselves

I like looking for the opportunities I Iike the excitement a new role provides

1 like the satisfaction in being accorded a new leadership 1 love working

I wonder . . .

Where will it take me next?

CHAPTER NINE: THEMES FROM CIRCLE TWO

The women in these poems spoke warmly and at great length of their experiences

as they strove to attain leadership positions. Almost al1 of them commented that

they had been the eldest child in their family. and that their parents had instilled a

great sense of independence in them. Self-confidence was stressed. and only one

wornan separated her relationship with her father: two of the women spoke of the

influence of their parents. three of the effect their mothers had had on thern. while

the sixth spoke of feeling like she had really attained success when her father stated

how proud he was of her. In the two individual interviews. both wornen also

comrnented on the importance of their parents, one particularly so-given that she

had been born in the 1950s. her father stood apart from hiç generation: his

progressive view was for his daughters to attend university. and ensure that they

were well able to take care of themselves. and never have to rely upon "husbands"

to protect them. This story was particularly surprising, given that the woman in

question IS of a minority as well. and her father's determination that she be

independent set extra challenges for her within her own community. Familial factors

are noted in works by Russell and Wright (1992); further marginalization due to

minority. specifically North American lndian wornen. is studied by Napier (1 995).

A recurring theme was of opportunities extended to the wornen: discussion ensued

as to whether the opportunities were there. or whether the wornen had created their

own opportunities. The conclusion was that both existed. but that it was the women

keeping open eyes in seeing the opportunities and in being aggressive enough to

reach for the opportunity, that rang most true. Several of the women had not until

recently seen themselves as leaders: they felt they had worked hard. always

"getting the job done", but in their youth hadn't seen characteristics which

differentiated them from others. In fact. comments were made that they didn't

understand why they were being treated as leaders. when they felt that anyone

could do what they were doing; the imposter syndrome lasted many years for some

(Russell and Wright, 1992).

The comparison of masculine versus ferninine styles arose immediately: this

astounded me. as it had taken several rounds in the first circle to get to that

discussion. The very first speaker spoke to the fact that she had learned early on

that she didn't need to act like a man to be successful; furthermore. she indicated

that she attributed her leadership success to acting true to herself. as a woman.

expressing nurturing and compassionate caring for those with whom she worked

(Sachs and Blackmore, 1998). The women shared that although they believed men

to ascend the hierarchical ladder frequently based on relationships with men further

up within the organizational framework (Albino. 1992; McGrath as cited in Eakle,

1995; Adler et al. as cited in Alston, 2000; Ebbers et al.. 2000). they believed that

the women with whom they had worked over the years had attained leadership roles

based on extremely hard work (Russell and Wright. 1992; Grogan. 1999: Bell and

Chase, 1995). This revelation actually contradicted eariier statements in the

discussion, whereupon refiecting upon their careers and having reached leadership

positions, they expressed their surprise at having originally been promoted: they

hadn't recognized their own hard work or contributions to their organizations/school

districts. They simply seemed to think that they had done what needed to be done,

whether it was a certain task. supporting CO-workers in a time of need. or balancing

home lives with work lives to the sacrifice of their own personal leisure tirne. Many

were just now beginning to experience "down time" in their lives. with children having

grown and become self-sufficient, careers that bore testament to hard work-one

comment specifically referred to the novelty of taking time out of each day for

herself. that "work is just a piece of life". One administrator interviewed indicates

how much she is enjoying her quilting on a weekly basis, and that it has helped give

her perspective. Several of the women reflect that they are quite surprised to realize

that if they "don't do it all", and perhaps leave some tasks unaccomplished or at the

bottom of the priority list. that life continues, without harm. This has been referred to

in the literature (Albino, 1992) as being more of a masculine trait. in being able to

priorize and set things aside: perhaps this is a trait women need more to incorporate

into their journeys.

Most of the women concluded that where they are in life currently is that they have

learned better how to balance, or are working hard to better implement balance into

their lives. They express that they are no longer content to be so absorbed in their

careers. and that they realize that they need to have other aspects included. such as

fitness. socialization. quiet time for reflection or hobbies. What a contrast it is to

hear from their reflections that they don't "have it all". as community observers would

most assuredly report. Albino (1992) and McGrath (as cited in Eakle. 1995) both

suggest that men may be selected for promotion on the basis of reputation or

friendships forged through service clubs or sports affiliations. Perhaps this is a

reflection that men have been able to better achieve balance (due to the lack of

homelpersonal responsibilities?) in their lives, and that this has been the reasoning

behind their ascension-rather than the relationship or networking itself.

I wonder-is it only women in leadership positions who ponder the balance. or lack

of it, in their lives?

CHAPTER TEN: FINAL CONCLUSIONS

Although the perception by members of the district's learning community is that

women do not have the same opportunities for advancement as men. current

statistics reveal that women are attaining leadership roles. Societal views still

express that women are behind men in terms of equality at the upper echelons of

organizational leadership: the stories that have evolved from the circle dialogues

reveal themes and patterns that can be shared with the district to enhance

understanding and appreciation of leadership journeys.

The focus of this project is to amplify the voices of the women. and record their

stories-regardless of their perceptions and range of experiences. Despite the lack

of formal research. there is great value in simply researching and telling others'

experiences (Ellis and Flaherty. 1992).

The themes from the second circle resonate with that of the first, as well as from the

personal interviews. The key theme that evolves lies in exercising authentic

leadership style: women need to feel comfortable in being whomever they are.

whether they are truly passionate and emotional. or in being logical and rational.

Women should not take on the affect of men to attain leadership roles (Sachs and

Blackmore. 1998): instead. they should look for ways to have their style more fully

embraced (Tedrow. 1999). Participants from the first circle indicated that it had

taken them a long time to be comfortable with their female persona; in contrast.

several of the female administrators from the second circle indicated they had not

felt the need to assume a façade from their early career years on. However. both

groups of women did indicate that they tended to work harder than they observed in

men (Albino, 1992). Some of the participants acknowledged that they had lacked

confidence (or still did) and recognized that this self-limiting behaviour played a role

in sabotaging attainment of leadership positions (Dickerson and Taylor. 2000).

Strong family models and support. as well as early career mentors. played a key

theme in al1 of the women's stories (Russell and Wright. 1992). Women also

referred to needing to exercise a better balance in their lives (Sachs and Blackmore.

1998).

Research Implications

This project reviewed the leadership journeys of women. with an inquiry as to

whether the district myth of more men being successful in attaining leadership

positions had any veracity. Unfortunately. there is no organizational documentation

or literature ever created that addresses this topic. or any of the themes discussed in

this project.

The district's progressive attitude and organizational documentation reflects an

almost equal ratio of women to men in administrative roles; however. research data

suggests that a slant of whether these ratios are prevalent at the upper rungs of the

hierarchy bodes future consideration. I do not believe that any position should be

filled on the basis of gender: the best candidate should win the promotion. In

observation of district interactions. including meetings at a variety of levels. and in

review of the literature, it would appear that there are still some traditional

stereotypes to overcome. 1 think this project speaks most loudly to women leaders

to be authentic: not to assume an affect to fit irdo a leadership position, and for the

district as a whole to consider mentorship of al1 new leaders (again. regardless of

gender) to encourage them in their development. If these aspects are not

considered. and the district myth is allowed to perpetuate, then the district runs the

risk of a toxic influence poisoning the organizational culture. As well. if women

individually do not become cornfortable in expressing their authentic voices. not only

witl they never be truly content. but the district also loses.

The circles have already achieved their goal of being action research: dialogues are

on-going. and a support network has evolved. The second circle resulted in a

suggestion that there be a more formal opportunity for "that type of

discussion/encouragement1' to occur regularly. and, given that several level meetings

seem to take on the "good 01' boys" persona, this could also be considered. 1 have

had a number of women in these follow-up discussions reveal to me that several of

the male administrators meet monthly together, and that the female administrators

are not invited. This alludes to the research that discussed the networking and

subsequent promotion of candidates who are known to the administrators in the

hiring positions: a candidate should be considered on his or her own merits, not by

the social advantages that were incurred through interpersonal

relationships/friendships. We are a district renowned for its progressive stance on

educational issues, and 1 would like to see us continue this in relation to our

administrative practices.

Further research into on-going trends of gender representation at the administrative

levels of varying professions. especially education. would merit future study. In

particular. long-term review of women at different hierarchies, and study of their

ascension to those roles (including examining the rate at which they were promoted,

networking that existed, mentorship existence. fields of formal education.

comparison of personal life characteristics) could be valuable in directing women in

the future as to how to be more successful in reaching the higher rungs of their

organizational ladders. As well. research into whether men feel they have balance

in their lives, or have been successful in attaining the leadership positions they

sought, would eliminate any "systemic and cultural discrimination" (Blackmore. 2000)

and provide a rounded viewpoint.

Research Project Lessons Learned

This research project went quite successfully. The projected timeline did not go

according to plan: I had intended for the second circle to be done within WO weeks

of the first. so that by the start of school in September the data gathering was

cornplete. This was primarily intended to assist in balancing new responsi bilities I

was taking on as a schooi administrator; I then had hoped to have the final report

written by the end of the Christmas holidays. Unfortunately. the coordination of

bringing together several extremely busy administrators did not prove to be an easy

task-and it was not until the end of Novernber that we met. Since I had committed

to not reviewing any of the literature until after the circles had been transcribed and

therned, to avoid any bias of the data. I didn't start writing the final report until the

beginning of February-a month after when I had hoped to be finished. From this

experience. I would caution future researchers to be extremely realistic with a wide

cushion for tirnelines.

The data gathering went well; it is extremely important to test technology ahead of

time. including the corresponding transcribing equipment. prior to the actual

recordings. 1 had three different audio recording devices for the first circle. had

tested thern al1 ahead of tirne. eliminated one of them. and then as a group we

discovered in the actual circle that one of them was impractical (its microphone

picked up too much extraneous background noise). Unfortunateiy. the transcribing

machine that corresponded to this size of cassette tape had poor sound quality.

adding many hours to the transcribing process in the attempt to distinguish the

messages. Because of this. 1 switched back to the hand-held microcassette

recorder in the second circle. as the background noise was not as distracting as in

the first circle (where fenceposts were being delivered); the subsequent transcription

was achieved with minimal effort. Having the recordings transcribed was invaluable:

it allowed the data to be highlighted and themed easily. and 1 also had the

advantage of being able to simply listen to the tapes' messages repeatedly to attend

to the tones and emotions (particularly useful in writing the poerns).

Computer technology must also be given extreme consideration: despite one's

intentions to continually "back-up" information, in the event of a computer crash (and

not on just one computer, but on both my home desktop and on my laptop). the data

lost could be crucial to argument building and summary conclusions. When 1 finally

came to the gathering of al1 my information. I resorted to saving my report on our

district semer. diskettes, laptop. and on both home and work desktop cornputers.

Over the course of the MA LT program I received two major viruses. despite having

excellent anti-viral software; I cannot emphasize enough that numerous precautions

need to be taken (even to printing off hard copies on a regular basis).

Originally I had thought that in attempting to put together circle groups that would be

cornfortable with one another might be difficult: I wanted to attend to the ethical

aspects of not disclosing participants' identities. but felt it important that once an

individual had agreed to participate. that they know who the other group members

would be. I did not want to arrange a circle. and then have individuals not feel free

to disclose information for fear of judgement or reaction by another member. As it

turned out. the process I followed worked very well-if I had not used this process. I

would have had problems in the circle, as several people who indicated initial

willingness to participate did withdraw upon discovery of the other participants.

It should be noted that using learning circles and allowing participants to share in the

process c m be an emotional experience for all: there was some anxiety leading up

to the circles themselves (particularly in the first one) where participants were unsure

about what would corne out; there was heightened emotion in the first circle and in

interviews that resulted in a range from gentle tears to sobbing; and there was some

systemic anger expressed. Keeping these emotions objectified for the purpose of

valid reporting is important on one hand. while on the other, since the focus of this

qualitative data was to share stories. the ernotion needs somehow to be conveyed.

This is at the risk of it betng further labelled as "simply women's ways" ...

Unfortunately, there were no men in the study for cornparison. as to their stories and

their emotional reactions to participating.

Finally. for the sake of accuracy. I felt it important to share out the circles'

information to the participants; however. the tirnelines involved in the gathering of

feedback can impede the overall process of writing the report.

Program Lessons Learned from the MA LT Program

The two year Master of Arts in Leadership and Training (MA LT) program at Royal

Roads University (RRU) has proven to be extremely timely for me in my career. As

a newly hired school administrator in Fall 1998. 1 had already investigated several

masters programs, and had applied to UVic's MA program within the Faculty of

Education (the focus was to be on curriculum-ironically. research on this project

indicated that more wornen do graduate work on curriculum than in educational

administration). However, in the final steps of perusing the lnternet before

committing to the UVic program ( 1 had already been accepted), I came across the

information related to RRU's program-and was instantly captivated by its ability to

incorporate individual interests. and its focus on the whole person as a leader.

There are five required competencies for this project.

Ic. Provide Leadership - I am capable of balancing the different aspects of my life. which enabled me to complete the project. I found that over the course of the project. numerous individuals-both within and outside of the district-were very interested in the project, and I found myself sharing aspects of leadership that had been not only taught in the actual MA LT program itself (over the 2 years) but also in the research I had done. As the synthesis of the data gathering. the program coursework. the summer residencies. and the project's research occurred.. . l found myself truly relaxing into my own authentic leadership style: encouraged and affirrned throughout the MA LT program. and confirmed in the research I have just completed.

2b. Apply systems thinking to leadership and learning problems - Systernic interaction is particularly prevalent with the large organization with which I work: having always considered al1 the different parts of the whole (students. parents, community. school staff. trustees. board office staff) I am extremely aware of the impact any action has. Part of my ability in this lies in early experience as a secretary at a board office. and later as a Personnel Administrator for secondary teachers in Ottawa4 have been privy to highly charged discussions by administrators of al1 levels as to ramifications of multiple systemic effects. I instinctively consider al1 the parties involved within our school system in any event

that transpires. As well as the systemic organization within the school district, the systems that transpired within each circle. between the circles, and the women interviewed personally, also played a role. Women I had originally thought would be comfortable in participating in circles indicated they didn't feel safe, even with women they recognized as their friends and peers. When they participated in personal interviews, "the enemy out there" surfaced, and I had to remain objective and not feel myself aligning with them. One of the women in the first circle is a cohort of the second circle; this allowed for some cross-pollination to occur in that her action had already started to work upon the district organization before the second circle began. All of the women are now having an effect on their individual organizations-notably one woman from the first circle (Val) who recognized within the circle dialogue last August that she would have to leave her organization. and that she would need to tell them why (that she could no longer continue affecting the male leadership style). Powerful growth occurred within the sessions. and afterward.

Sa. Identify, locate and evaluate research findings - I had no difficulty finding research materials to support my project, as well as having referred others to sources which I had discovered. In the process of assimilating the information discovered in the research. I was able to easily evaluate which applied to my project and which had no bearing at all. Further discussion and sharing with peers of the research findings finalized the assimilation learning process for me.

5b. Use research methods to solve problerns - In the second summer residency. we were exposed to a variety of research methods, and it was in the reading of two theses and a doctoral paper that I concluded that using learning circles would be most meaningful ta the intent of my project. Systematic methods were applied upon difficulties encountered (such as participants wishing to withdraw. which had been built into the initial proposallinvitation given to them).

7b. Communicate with others through writing - 1 believe that my report is of high quality: I have no difficulty expressing myself through writing.

There are five optional cornpetencies which 1 feel have also been furthered in my

having undertaken this project.

Id . Evaluate and enhance leadership style - This project in particular provided me with numerous sources of documented research on leadership styles, and with significant inspirational models for me to observe within my organization. In addition, the heightened focus (furthered by the intense learning circle discussions) allowed me to continuously scrutinize rny own style, "try on" different aspects of many different styles, and finally listen to the women's voices from within rny circles

as well as from within the research: to act with authenticity and trust the style that cornes from within. This project has been greatly affirming for me.

le . Recognire ethical considerations - At a time when eveiy aspect of the project needed to adhere to strict ethical considerations, this also was retnforced by the increasingly confidential and ethical situations into which 1 was entering each week at work. The project's focus on ethics transferred a greater focus and awareness on my interactions as an administrator working with multi-agencies.

4c. Created learning opportunities for others - Although as a teacher, I have learned and innate skills in recognizing learning opportunities for others and in helping to show them ways of achieving that learning. this project provided both a leadership and a persona1 learning opportunity for me to further this in relationship to management roles. The different messages I have assimilated in the past two years. around the "imposter syndrome". acting with authenticity. using one's own voice. believing in oneself-al1 of these I have adopted as messages 1 need to reinforce in my daily interactions. from clerical support staff to teachers to students acting within their own cornmunities to peers within the administrative levels of our district. I have become increasingly comfortable at not only recognizing where a learning opportunity exists. and in stepping back and letting others take on that challenge rather than do it myself. but also in deliberately creating opportunities for my school staff to comfortably and successfully take on ever more challenging roles.

4f. Manage own learning to maximire added value - Although I deliberately chose this program because I felt that I would have a great deal of input into its direction and personalization for my needs, it was a challenge at tirnes without the deadlines of a structured course to remain in line with the tirneframe I had laid out for myself. Time constraints imposed by demanding work schedules and personal family issues allowed little time for reflection and assimilation during the program itself; I wanted to have this learning occur so that I could apply it to my work role daily. 1 think my daily two hour commute allowed for valuable time management. where 1 could use this time for reflection. and then incorporate it. I was also able to self-select issues that were of extreme interest and importance to me, because they were ones with which I was dealing at the time-so that the project satisfied not only RRU criteria, but met my own needs as well.

7d. Contributed to project team success - In having gained a greater sense of understanding of the role that I play within our organization, particularly in having held numerous conversations (individually and in the circles) and in the review of the literature, I have a rnuch better idea of how 1 can contribute to the district management team's overall success. My skills as a team player. my desire to work collaboratively and cooperatively, and to benefit the district as a whole rather than engage in cornpetitive behaviour. will ensure that I can be an asset to our subsequent development. 1 believe that my interpersonal skills. sourced largely in my "ferninine ways of being", helped make my participants feel safe and comfortable within the circles themselves, and in the discussions which ffowed after; I also

believe that my security and self-confidence allowed me to explore with others the facets that we might adopt to better enhance our leadership styles. so that they didn't feel they had to "put on" any façade.

In addition to having demonstrated these competencies during the project itself. I

believe I have achieved a great deal of learning in the others. Some competencies

in which I would like to focus growth in the next year are directly related to my

leadership role. "evaluate and enhance leadership style". and in improving my

"manage[ment] [of] people within organizations". As I continue to reflect upon the

experiences of the past two years, I will seek further opportunities to enhance my

leadership style through obsewation and conversation with my peers. I firmly

believe in the mentorship role in the development of leadership skills. and hope that

will play an element in the further development of both rny skills and as I continue to

act as a mentor with peers. My personal leadership challenge is to continue to act

with courage and authenticity in al1 situations. At the start of the MA LT program. the

introduction referred to the "lmposter Syndrome". and as the weeks and months

passed. I realized that this truly applied to how I felt. I no longer believe that I am an

imposter: I am a leader. and that has been stressed and reinforced throughout the

MA LT program.

JAN

Mother daughter sister girlfriend Homemaker doctor salesperson teacher

No role the lesser to play Our strength -- solidarity

As a community. a whole- To stand not as one, but as a unit

Women are Strong Nurturing Caring Compassionate

Respectful Supportive Not like a man.. . but not exclusive of their traits

Opportunities occur Not by coincidence or chance

Fate does not deal cards We make them

Amidst vulnerabilities.. .and risk-taking

Some Say this is courage I believe

Being true to self

I've survived the loss of my greatest dream One only women can attain

Its exchange. My strength and compassion

We have lessons yet to learn Challenges left to face

We will

Live. Love and Laugh

1 am also A leader

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APPENDIX 1 :

SCHOOL DISTRICT #63 - ORGANIZATION CHART

ADMINISTRATIVE ORGANIZATIONAL STRUCTURE - BY SCHOOL, BY CEVEL

i School 1 # of students 1 Gender of A 0 1 A 0 Position 1 I

Principal Vice-Principal

t

Parkland Secondary

I l 1 / Male Vice-Principal 1

778 1 Male 1 Principal Female 1 Vice-Principal 1 Fernale , Vice-Princiaal

i

I Stelly's Secondary I I

!

Male Male

t

\ Claremont Secondary 1 1

Male I Vice-Princi~al

1 036

1130

l North Saanich Middle 1 596 I

t Royal Oak Middle I

Male Principal 1 Fernale 1 vice-Princi~al i

Male Male

Fernale

Male ? Vice-Principal

Oeep Cove Elernentary

Durrance Elementarv 1 1 O0 1 Female 1 Princioal 1

- - I

Principal Vice-Principal Vice-Princioal

Male

693

407

Principal

Lochside Elementary

Male 1 Vice-Principal

L - - -

Female Principal 1 Male / vicePrinciml 1

Male Fernale

Principal Vice-Princi~al

Principal Principal Principal

. Vice-Princi~al

,

1 Sidney Elementary 1 340 1 Male Principal 1

. . - -

! 1 i Female 1 Vice-Princioal 1

Male Male

Children's Development Centre 1 17

! Storefront (Alternate Secondavil 1 1 Female 1 Administrative Officer 1

I Greenglade Elementary

4

1 McTavis h Elementary , Prospect Lake Elementary

-- -

/ South lsland Oistance Education School f 1 Male l Principal 1

205 1 i Keating Elementary l

87 141

Female Female

t 1

t (SIDES) 1 Fernale vice-frincipal 1

! Saanichton Elernentary 1 ,

Principal Principal

442 Male

I Sansbury Elementary 1 1 34 i Female l Principal i

274

1 Female

Male Principal 1 Female Vice-Principal

SCHOOL ADMINISTRATOR SUMMARY:

SCHOOL BOARD OFFICE EXECUTIVE ADMINISTRATORS:

Level

Secondary Middle Elementary SIDES

Total

Position

Superintendent Assistant Superintendent Assistant Superintendent Director of Personnel Secretary-Treasurer Physical Plant Superintendent

Female vice- principals

4 1 4 1

10

Male to female ratio

SCHOOL BOARD TRUSTEES - EXECUTIVE:

Male vice- principals

3 3 3 O

9

Male Fema le Male Male Female Male

4:2

Position P

Female principals

O O 6 O

6

Gender

1 Chairpenon 1 Female 1

Male principals

3 3 8 1

15

All data current as of March 2001.

Male to fernale ratio

6:4 6: 1 11:lO

1:l

24: 16

Total

10 7

21 2

40