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I AM WHAT I AM WHAT I AM WHAT I

Kritika Deval

S.Y.B.M.M.

Roll No. : 4113

All the worlds a stage, and all the men and women merely players This oft

repeated, rather trite sounding bit of wisdom, to me, is evocative of all that human

life is about. The need for survival in organized society ordains that a person play

various roles. Religion craves unquestioning belief. Filial love decrees wholehearted

obedience. Education, career, relationships, social expectation and all the other

inescapable obligations contribute further to shaping ones personality. How, then,

does a person decide the extent to which a role takes over their personality or even,

amongst all their roles, whether or not their personality exists? I will not call it

character because character involves a persons innate perception of right or wrong

that does not have much to do with the above factors. I mean, a person who has

been told all their life that women ought to be treated with respect can still commit

rape and make themselves believe that the woman asked for it Go figure.

How do we differentiate roles? Everything in world is made up of opposites. One can

identify white only after acquaintance with black. For anything to really be grasped,

it must be juxtaposed with its exact opposite. Thus, the first and foremost role in

human history and, according to me, the most cumbersome one of all, that of the

man and the woman (as distinct from male and female), was born. It comes with all

its expectations of macho-ness and, conversely, femininity. A woman is

brainwashed into to believing that there really isnt any other way for her except to

be dependent on men. Any woman showing masculine traits like independence

and, maybe, a mind (sigh!) is quickly labelled as brazen. A man, on the other hand,

is raised with the belief that because he is bigger and stronger, he is responsible for

everything, and, conversely, can do anything they want. Since the beginning of

time, any person daring to stray from the confines of these expectations has been

subjected to ridicule, suspicion and outright expulsion from society.

The next role arises in the form of filial love and obligation. Parents and immediate

family give us our very first perceptions. They give us the basis for our first ideas,

thoughts, beliefs, opinions etc.. They are also the first basis for juxtaposition with

the outside world. All this, however, isnt necessarily a good thing, the reason beingthat parents generally seek to relive their youth and correct their mistakes through

their children. They figure that since they were responsible for an individuals very

existence, they have the right to mould him/her into whatever they want him/her to

be. If they dont get their way, they dont suffer the smallest pangs of conscience

before declaring their beloved offspring a snake they nestled in their bosom, a

Judas, a backstabber (You get my drift)

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The roles following these primary roles get more complex, as they are played

simultaneously. Also they are dependent on more complex things like religion,

education, social standing, political ethos etc.. Its the role that one plays based on

the above grounds that give rise to faith, prejudice, personal habits and various

other likes and dislikes.

One of the biggest, most bewildering conflicts that a person faces is of how they can

mould their religion, their faith in God or the Entity to their expectations of it

instead of being mere puppets in the hands of their religious leaders. Faith is a very

intimate concept. Prayer or communion with your higher self, and how you go about

it, should not require the approval of a bunch of holier than thou, self-proclaimed

overseers of channels to God. All religion arose out of a peoples need to believe

that the entire world that they lived in was not a mere freak accident and that there

was rhyme and reason to their existence. It made them feel less vulnerable, more in

control. In addition, one needed a whipping boy to blame for their losses and

somebody to thank in case of success. From this basic necessity, it went on to

become a scale with which to gauge personal behaviour. This led to there being a

few people who believed that they rated higher than the others did on this scale,

giving them a better standing with God. They were made religious heads. From

there on, melded with politics, it was a Domino effect leading to religion as it is

today, with the blood of innocents on its hands, no more a sanctuary. Now, how

someone can base their lifestyle, personality, their very thought processes on

something this treacherous is entirely beyond me.

Also, most religions have their roots in a time period when survival was the

foremost requirement. Entire cultures and populations were built on these

guidelines that gave them a foundation against which to base their behaviour in a

bewildering world that they were just beginning to discover. It made sense for men

to hunt and protect and for women to stay home and nurture for the obvious

reasons of their respective physical attributes and the womans ability to bear

children. Survival was difficult due to disease, harsh conditions and lack of hygiene.

Therefore, prohibition on voluntary abortion made sense. However, these

necessities were turned into religious duties to give the people further conviction

that they were going about life in the right way. We do not require men to hunt or

women to give birth anymore, nor do we require a religion that holds us back.

One should always be free to agree or disagree to anything. If your religion dictates

that women are unclean during their menstrual periods and you disagree, if yourculture decrees that a person with a dark complexion is inferior and you differ, you

ought to be able to say so and then act accordingly. A person is several things and

one thing all at the same time. All your prejudices, habits, opinions, your very ideas

are borrowed from your immediate environs. The only thing that is yours, which

nobody can take away from you, is your sense of right and wrong, your freedom to

choose, your freedom not to be judgemental You are what your choices make

you.