I am Tourist by Adrian Mitchell I am TouristI fly across the seas with a cold glass in my handWatching Burt Reynolds moviesI am TouristWith my chocolate-coloured spectaclesAnd my blue travellers chequetaclesAnd my video camera purring at the SightsI am TouristWith my Tourist WifeWe live the full and beautifulTourist LifeWe are taken to a hill tribeThey live on a hillThey sell us many boxesPainted green and greyThey are ugly boxes but very inexpensiveThen they put on hairy masksAnd scarlet knickerbockersThey bang their stomachs and circle round usIs it a wedding? Is it a funeral?Whatever it is we video it allAnd it is picturesque but it is not inexpensiveOn the way back to the hotelI tell our GuideNo more painted boxesNo more picturesque ceremoniesNo more hill tribesI want a mattressAnd a pool and a barJust like back homeI am Tourist