Real happiness lies in making others happyAvatar Meher Baba
A true spiritual journey in modern times..........
Author: Raj Salvi
I AMI AM NOT
First printed in September 2011
By Rucha Systems,Nashik,India
For any information on this bookplease contact the author Raj Salviat email: email@example.com
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in orintroduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form,
or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying,recording or otherwise) without the prior written
permission of the author. Any person who does anyunauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to
criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.
Salvi Business Group Inc.
#2-6573 Humphries Court
BURNABY. B.C. V3N 4K9
Copyright @ 2011 Raj Salvi
All rights reserved with Author Raj Salvi
I have come not to teach, but to awaken
I am the ancient one.
I belong to no religion.
Every religion belongs to me.
My own personal religion is
of my being the ancient infinite one &
the religion I teach to all is of love of God.
This love can be practiced by anyone,
high, low, rich, poor & every one
of every cast & creed can love God.
About the Author
Raj Salvi is a Canadian citizen residing inBurnaby, a suburb of Vancouver, Canada inBritish Columbia. He is a MetallurgicalEngineer from IIT, Powai, Mumbai and a registered ProfessionalEngineer (P. Eng.) in British Columbia, Canada. He also has aMasters in Metals and Materials Engineering from theUniversity of British Columbia, Canada
He immigrated to Canada in 1989. He has worked both inCanada and the US in the foundry industry. He started hisown business, Salvi Business Group Inc, importing castingsfrom India for US and Canadian markets.
During the course of business travel in India he was fortunateto meet many Perfect Masters (Sadgurus). He had a uniquespiritual experience on October 10, 2001 during which his handbegan to write on its own, messages from Avatar Meher Baba(www.avatarmeherbaba.org). The process of automatic writingor auto writing, as it is commonly referred to, has continued todate since October 10, 2001. Teetering on the border of alcoholism,just one message from Avatar Meher Baba to give up alcoholwas enough to take the chip of alcoholism from his being. Rajhas not had a drop of alcohol since the evening of October 10,2001. More than 12,000 pages have been written through autowriting with messages from Avatar Meher Baba for many peoplewho have asked for answers through auto writing. Raj does theauto writing free of charge it is a service he provides because ofhis profound love for God.
The book I AM, I AM NOT, I AM contains his personalexperiences of his journey towards God-realization. Thesespiritual experiences continue to manifest themselves in hisdaily life even today.....
PrefaceThe purpose of this book is to show a glimpse into how life
is to be lived in a spiritual manner. Some outcomes may seem
outrageous; however they all have a lesson and a purpose.
These aspects are beyond the intellect of the mind to
understand. The sole goal of spiritual living is to ensure that at
all times our actions do not hurt someone and are constantly
directed towards helping others become happy.
It is not easy as our Ego or our individual existence
sometimes seems at jeopardy. Life itself is an experience and
these occasions are tests put in our path by God to check if we
follow at all times the principle of making others happy. Some
are simple, others require complete surrender. The Guru who
comes in the final stage of these experiences, also tests his
student to be completely certain that he is ready to accept
complete surrender of his Ego to the Guru. Once the Guru
accepts his student, he puts him on the Path to God and the
Avatar (God in Human form) who finally hands over the
aspirant to that Formless Creator forever (Moksha).
This book has been written with a view to give the reader a
glimpse of my personal journey on the Path to God. In putting
this book together many people have contributed directly and
indirectly to bringing it to the reader. I would like to offer special
thanks to Dr. Stephen Ogden, Professor of English, Simon Fraser
University, Burnaby, Canada for editing the book, to my cousin
Ramkrishna Salvi for preparing the layout of the book and to
my wife, Rashmita and my daughter, Mayura who helped in
typing the original writings.
I wish the reader to absorb the essence of these experiences
and take whatever principles of spirituality they offer.
One who lives for himself is truly dead and onewho dies for God is truly alive.
-Avatar Meher Baba
CONTENTSChapter 1 Cheating Death Three Times
Chapter 2 Real Happiness Lies in Making Others Happy
Chapter 3 Live Less For Yourself And More For Others
Chapter 4 A New Birth
Chapter 5 Marriages Are Made In Heaven
Chapter 6 You And I Are Not We But One
Chapter 7 Guru Meets His Disciple
Chapter 8 Dadas Texas Letter
Chapter 9 Malang Baba Will Meet You!
Chapter 10 Total Obedience
Chapter 11 Sister Act
Chapter 12 Three Buses
Chapter 13 Go Live Like A King
Chapter 14 Implicit Faith
Chapter 15 How Is Rashmi In London?
Chapter 16 Abdul Rehman Babas Invitation
Chapter 17 This Honor Was For You
Chapter 18 He Is Allahs Angel
Chapter 19 You Are My Son
Chapter 20 Divine Miracles
Chapter 21 Avatar Meher Baba Is God
Chapter 22 Of All Games...
Chapter 23 Manifestation Of Miracles
Chapter 24 Aspects of Spiritual Life
10 I am.. I am not.. I am
What I am sharing with you is not my memoirs, but
my journey towards finding God. I know it sounds
very confusing; however the fact is that God was
preparing me for something right from my childhood.
The journey involved sacrifices and acceptances and
complete faith in God. While I was living through
these incidences, I was totally unaware then but
which I now recognize them for what they were
tests. He gave me tests some that were simple while
others that were not.
The journey kept moving me from one small town
to another, from one school to another, from one friend
to another. I was uprooted from one location to
another due to my father, who was a government
official and his job required that he be transferred
from one place to another. I remember that my early
childhood up to the age of six was comfortable. I
grew up in district places which had rural
surroundings and life was simple. Dad would take
me hunting for wild boars and my days passed in
simple games like marbles and spinning a car tire
around the house. I have happy memories of those
12 I am.. I am not.. I am
days. My elder brother was placed in a boarding school so as
not to disrupt his studies while my father was transferred from
one place to another. I lived with my parents and spent more
time with my mother as she was always at home.
I developed a normal deep attachment towards my mother.
My father used to tour, sometimes for days together, but
whenever he was around, it was fun. We moved to Bombay,
now Mumbai, in 1958. A new phase started in my life where the
challenges increased in magnitude. Life totally changed when
my mother was initially diagnosed with depression and later
schizophrenia, soon after my sister was born in 1960. Post
partum depression probably caused this condition. My parents
divorced when I was in my teens and then life got really difficult.
I never blamed my parents I learnt to accept every situation for
what it was a test, a challenge to be overcome. All through
those years I knew that I was not alone. I knew that theres a
force, whom we may call God, and He was looking out for me,
looking after me, providing everything when needed.
Education was mostly completed in Bombay, from grade 3 to
Secondary School and then Mumbai University and finally
Bachelor of Metallurgical Technology from the Indian Institute
of Technology, Mumbai. I married in 1979 and took on the
responsibility of a family man. Usually the journey of the soul,
through self-realization (that I am not this body) and finally
God realization (that we are all part of the universal whole)
requires total detachment from all beings and things. I guess
God made an exception in my case - my family is still with me,
my wife, daughter, and son this journey of returning to God
13Raj SalviConsciousness involves total detachment from all beings and
things. That includes even your immediate near and dear ones.
It involves seeing all as One and yours.
In this journey, I met a Perfect Master. It is believed that the
Perfect Master or Guru finds you when you are ready to take the
leap out of this material or gross existence towards God
realization. I am truly blessed that my Guru found me and guided
me towards God realization. It was as simple as that. This
journey started when my Ego (I Am) was at its highest, then
slowly the Ego was crushed by the tests and challenges that life
threw at me to make me realize that I am not just this body.
Finally with the help of the Perfect Master the remnants of my
ego fell away the veil was removed and my goal in life became
clear. I had moved into the realm of God consciousness. The
episodes that I am sharing are some of the milestones that
dotted my journey from Guru to Avatar or the Messiah.
This journey involved the maximizing of the ego (I Am) and
then crushing it, extinguishing until just a few traces remained
(I Am Not) and ultimately evaporating the final remnants of the
Ego thereby transforming human consciousness to God
Consciousness (I Am Everything) as the final goal of life.
True love is no game of the faint-hearted and the weak; it is born of
strength and understanding.
14 I am.. I am not.. I am
1C H A P T E RC H A P T E RC H A P T E RC H A P T E RC H A P T E R
I was born in Jalgaon, a city in the state of Maharashtra,
India on October 31, 1950 at 1:55 am. However the clerk who
was on morning duty at the hospital entered my birth date as
being born last night therefore October 30th. This became my
official date of birth.
My father, a Government officer, used to be transferred from
city to city that was the nature of his job. I remember moving
from Nasik, to Malegaon and then to Aurangabad. I was now
six years old.
We moved into a huge government bungalow a remnant
from the British Raj. I was in kindergarten at the Little Flower
High School. The daily routine started around 10:00 a.m. when
my brother, who was eight years old and I would be dropped off
at school in a horse carriage called tonga. Around 12:00 noon,
our lunch was brought by my fathers peon (a perk that is enjoyed
by high ranking government officials in India). The peon would
wait until school ended at 2:00 pm and then take us back on a
Cheating DeathThree Times
1 Colloquial term used for a person with little authority often assignedunskilled tasks2 A general term used in India by domestic help to refer to theiremployers son
bicycle. I would sit on the bar that connected the seat and the
handlebar while my brother sat pillion.
On a particular day, as we were returning home from school,
the routine was disturbed.
Yusuf, our peon1 said: Move ahead, Baba2? I need a little
more space to peddle better.
I refused to oblige therefore he pushed me a little towards
the handlebar. The unexpected shove made me lose my balance
and my left foot got trapped in the front wheel of the bicycle. At
the very same moment, Yusuf reached the top of the steep slope
that led to our home. The bicycle gathered momentum. I howled
in pain but Yusuf had no clue to the real reason why I was
yelling. He thought I was angry because he had pushed me.
Finally the slope ended and ironically the bicycle came to a stop
in front of the Civil Hospital which was on the way to our home.
My foot was mangled and the centre bar of the front wheel was
embedded deep into my ankle. Yusuf carried me quickly into
the hospital scared not only at the sight of the blood but of the
consequences of the accident.
Seeing the gravity of the situation, the doctor on call, quickly
injected a dose of Tetanus Toxoid Serum to prevent further
infection. The doctor did not have access to an X-ray machine,
therefore he cleaned and dressed the wound and sent us home.
What happened? my mother queried angrily of Yusuf.
She was waiting in the veranda, anxious at the delay and seeing
the bandage on my foot, was hysterical. I was put to bed
About twenty minutes later, I felt very thirsty and called to
my mother May I have some water please Within ten minutes,
I made her a request for another glass of water. No sooner had
I drank the second glass of water, I asked my mother for some
more. My mother, who was sitting by my bed, felt something
was wrong. Our neighbor was also a government officer. My
mother ran to him house to check if he was still in as he would
have the office his house. As luck would have it, our neighbor
was about to leave for work. This was not his usual time but he
had been delayed. My neighbors bungalow and ours were the
only two bungalows at quite a distance from the main city with
no mode of public transport. Had our neighbor left in his jeep as
per his usual time my mother would not have been able to rush
me back to the Civil Hospital.
The doctor on call instructed the nurse to hook me up to the
saline bottle as I was extremely dehydrated. He realized that I
was having an anaphylactic reaction to the serum. A reaction of
this type can cause death in minutes as the nervous system gets
paralysed suddenly, if the antidote is not administered to the
patient. The doctor had not taken the precaution of checking to
see if I was allergic to the serum prior to giving it to me. I was
given nearly two dozen injections to stop the reaction; my
progress was monitored before I was sent home. This was the
first close encounter with death.
The following day, I was driven to Jalna, another city close
by, that had a Civil Hospital equipped with X-ray equipment.
16 I am.. I am not.. I am
My ankle was x-rayed and it was found that I had multiple
fractures and my foot was promptly put into a cast. We returned
home with my leg in cast from knee down. It was nearly 3
months before the cast was removed. And this is when death
made a second attempt on my life.
We had just finished dinner, my mother was clearing the
table and my father was already deep into his work files at his
desk in the living room. I went to wash my hands in the bathroom
which was at a lower level to the dining area. Built on grand
scale, the bathroom was close to 70 feet by 20 feet in dimension.
I climbed down the stairs into the bathroom to wash my hands
and kept on playing with the water in the washbasin.
My mother shouted Raj, stop playing in the water. Come
out of the bathroom immediately!
She had her back to me as I climbed the stairs to the upper
level. I had barely reached the doorway when there was a
resounding crash. A cloud of dust engulfe...