I AM, I AM NOT, I AM Part I

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Based on a true life story of a spiritual aspirant who is introduced to the Avatar of the 20th century "MEHER BABA", and his spiritual adventures during the process of involution.

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  • Real happiness lies in making others happyAvatar Meher Baba

    A true spiritual journey in modern times..........

    Author: Raj Salvi

    I AMI AM NOT

    I AM

  • First printed in September 2011

    By Rucha Systems,Nashik,India

    For any information on this bookplease contact the author Raj Salviat email: salviraj@indiatimes.com

    No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in orintroduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form,

    or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying,recording or otherwise) without the prior written

    permission of the author. Any person who does anyunauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to

    criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

    Canada Office:

    Salvi Business Group Inc.

    #2-6573 Humphries Court

    BURNABY. B.C. V3N 4K9

    CANADA

    Copyright @ 2011 Raj Salvi

    All rights reserved with Author Raj Salvi

  • I have come not to teach, but to awaken

    I am the ancient one.

    I belong to no religion.

    Every religion belongs to me.

    My own personal religion is

    of my being the ancient infinite one &

    the religion I teach to all is of love of God.

    This love can be practiced by anyone,

    high, low, rich, poor & every one

    of every cast & creed can love God.

    -Meher Baba

  • About the Author

    Raj Salvi is a Canadian citizen residing inBurnaby, a suburb of Vancouver, Canada inBritish Columbia. He is a MetallurgicalEngineer from IIT, Powai, Mumbai and a registered ProfessionalEngineer (P. Eng.) in British Columbia, Canada. He also has aMasters in Metals and Materials Engineering from theUniversity of British Columbia, Canada

    He immigrated to Canada in 1989. He has worked both inCanada and the US in the foundry industry. He started hisown business, Salvi Business Group Inc, importing castingsfrom India for US and Canadian markets.

    During the course of business travel in India he was fortunateto meet many Perfect Masters (Sadgurus). He had a uniquespiritual experience on October 10, 2001 during which his handbegan to write on its own, messages from Avatar Meher Baba(www.avatarmeherbaba.org). The process of automatic writingor auto writing, as it is commonly referred to, has continued todate since October 10, 2001. Teetering on the border of alcoholism,just one message from Avatar Meher Baba to give up alcoholwas enough to take the chip of alcoholism from his being. Rajhas not had a drop of alcohol since the evening of October 10,2001. More than 12,000 pages have been written through autowriting with messages from Avatar Meher Baba for many peoplewho have asked for answers through auto writing. Raj does theauto writing free of charge it is a service he provides because ofhis profound love for God.

    The book I AM, I AM NOT, I AM contains his personalexperiences of his journey towards God-realization. Thesespiritual experiences continue to manifest themselves in hisdaily life even today.....

  • PrefaceThe purpose of this book is to show a glimpse into how life

    is to be lived in a spiritual manner. Some outcomes may seem

    outrageous; however they all have a lesson and a purpose.

    These aspects are beyond the intellect of the mind to

    understand. The sole goal of spiritual living is to ensure that at

    all times our actions do not hurt someone and are constantly

    directed towards helping others become happy.

    It is not easy as our Ego or our individual existence

    sometimes seems at jeopardy. Life itself is an experience and

    these occasions are tests put in our path by God to check if we

    follow at all times the principle of making others happy. Some

    are simple, others require complete surrender. The Guru who

    comes in the final stage of these experiences, also tests his

    student to be completely certain that he is ready to accept

    complete surrender of his Ego to the Guru. Once the Guru

    accepts his student, he puts him on the Path to God and the

    Avatar (God in Human form) who finally hands over the

    aspirant to that Formless Creator forever (Moksha).

    This book has been written with a view to give the reader a

    glimpse of my personal journey on the Path to God. In putting

    this book together many people have contributed directly and

    indirectly to bringing it to the reader. I would like to offer special

    thanks to Dr. Stephen Ogden, Professor of English, Simon Fraser

    University, Burnaby, Canada for editing the book, to my cousin

    Ramkrishna Salvi for preparing the layout of the book and to

    my wife, Rashmita and my daughter, Mayura who helped in

    typing the original writings.

    I wish the reader to absorb the essence of these experiences

    and take whatever principles of spirituality they offer.

  • One who lives for himself is truly dead and onewho dies for God is truly alive.

    -Avatar Meher Baba

  • CONTENTSChapter 1 Cheating Death Three Times

    Chapter 2 Real Happiness Lies in Making Others Happy

    Chapter 3 Live Less For Yourself And More For Others

    Chapter 4 A New Birth

    Chapter 5 Marriages Are Made In Heaven

    Chapter 6 You And I Are Not We But One

    Chapter 7 Guru Meets His Disciple

    Chapter 8 Dadas Texas Letter

    Chapter 9 Malang Baba Will Meet You!

    Chapter 10 Total Obedience

    Chapter 11 Sister Act

    Chapter 12 Three Buses

    Chapter 13 Go Live Like A King

    Chapter 14 Implicit Faith

    Chapter 15 How Is Rashmi In London?

    Chapter 16 Abdul Rehman Babas Invitation

    Chapter 17 This Honor Was For You

    Chapter 18 He Is Allahs Angel

    Chapter 19 You Are My Son

    Chapter 20 Divine Miracles

    Chapter 21 Avatar Meher Baba Is God

    Chapter 22 Of All Games...

    Chapter 23 Manifestation Of Miracles

    Chapter 24 Aspects of Spiritual Life

  • 10 I am.. I am not.. I am

  • 11Raj Salvi

    Introduction

    What I am sharing with you is not my memoirs, but

    my journey towards finding God. I know it sounds

    very confusing; however the fact is that God was

    preparing me for something right from my childhood.

    The journey involved sacrifices and acceptances and

    complete faith in God. While I was living through

    these incidences, I was totally unaware then but

    which I now recognize them for what they were

    tests. He gave me tests some that were simple while

    others that were not.

    The journey kept moving me from one small town

    to another, from one school to another, from one friend

    to another. I was uprooted from one location to

    another due to my father, who was a government

    official and his job required that he be transferred

    from one place to another. I remember that my early

    childhood up to the age of six was comfortable. I

    grew up in district places which had rural

    surroundings and life was simple. Dad would take

    me hunting for wild boars and my days passed in

    simple games like marbles and spinning a car tire

    around the house. I have happy memories of those

  • 12 I am.. I am not.. I am

    days. My elder brother was placed in a boarding school so as

    not to disrupt his studies while my father was transferred from

    one place to another. I lived with my parents and spent more

    time with my mother as she was always at home.

    I developed a normal deep attachment towards my mother.

    My father used to tour, sometimes for days together, but

    whenever he was around, it was fun. We moved to Bombay,

    now Mumbai, in 1958. A new phase started in my life where the

    challenges increased in magnitude. Life totally changed when

    my mother was initially diagnosed with depression and later

    schizophrenia, soon after my sister was born in 1960. Post

    partum depression probably caused this condition. My parents

    divorced when I was in my teens and then life got really difficult.

    I never blamed my parents I learnt to accept every situation for

    what it was a test, a challenge to be overcome. All through

    those years I knew that I was not alone. I knew that theres a

    force, whom we may call God, and He was looking out for me,

    looking after me, providing everything when needed.

    Education was mostly completed in Bombay, from grade 3 to

    Secondary School and then Mumbai University and finally

    Bachelor of Metallurgical Technology from the Indian Institute

    of Technology, Mumbai. I married in 1979 and took on the

    responsibility of a family man. Usually the journey of the soul,

    through self-realization (that I am not this body) and finally

    God realization (that we are all part of the universal whole)

    requires total detachment from all beings and things. I guess

    God made an exception in my case - my family is still with me,

    my wife, daughter, and son this journey of returning to God

  • 13Raj SalviConsciousness involves total detachment from all beings and

    things. That includes even your immediate near and dear ones.

    It involves seeing all as One and yours.

    In this journey, I met a Perfect Master. It is believed that the

    Perfect Master or Guru finds you when you are ready to take the

    leap out of this material or gross existence towards God

    realization. I am truly blessed that my Guru found me and guided

    me towards God realization. It was as simple as that. This

    journey started when my Ego (I Am) was at its highest, then

    slowly the Ego was crushed by the tests and challenges that life

    threw at me to make me realize that I am not just this body.

    Finally with the help of the Perfect Master the remnants of my

    ego fell away the veil was removed and my goal in life became

    clear. I had moved into the realm of God consciousness. The

    episodes that I am sharing are some of the milestones that

    dotted my journey from Guru to Avatar or the Messiah.

    This journey involved the maximizing of the ego (I Am) and

    then crushing it, extinguishing until just a few traces remained

    (I Am Not) and ultimately evaporating the final remnants of the

    Ego thereby transforming human consciousness to God

    Consciousness (I Am Everything) as the final goal of life.

    True love is no game of the faint-hearted and the weak; it is born of

    strength and understanding.

  • 14 I am.. I am not.. I am

    1C H A P T E RC H A P T E RC H A P T E RC H A P T E RC H A P T E R

    I was born in Jalgaon, a city in the state of Maharashtra,

    India on October 31, 1950 at 1:55 am. However the clerk who

    was on morning duty at the hospital entered my birth date as

    being born last night therefore October 30th. This became my

    official date of birth.

    My father, a Government officer, used to be transferred from

    city to city that was the nature of his job. I remember moving

    from Nasik, to Malegaon and then to Aurangabad. I was now

    six years old.

    We moved into a huge government bungalow a remnant

    from the British Raj. I was in kindergarten at the Little Flower

    High School. The daily routine started around 10:00 a.m. when

    my brother, who was eight years old and I would be dropped off

    at school in a horse carriage called tonga. Around 12:00 noon,

    our lunch was brought by my fathers peon (a perk that is enjoyed

    by high ranking government officials in India). The peon would

    wait until school ended at 2:00 pm and then take us back on a

    Cheating DeathThree Times

  • 15Raj Salvi

    1 Colloquial term used for a person with little authority often assignedunskilled tasks2 A general term used in India by domestic help to refer to theiremployers son

    bicycle. I would sit on the bar that connected the seat and the

    handlebar while my brother sat pillion.

    On a particular day, as we were returning home from school,

    the routine was disturbed.

    Yusuf, our peon1 said: Move ahead, Baba2? I need a little

    more space to peddle better.

    I refused to oblige therefore he pushed me a little towards

    the handlebar. The unexpected shove made me lose my balance

    and my left foot got trapped in the front wheel of the bicycle. At

    the very same moment, Yusuf reached the top of the steep slope

    that led to our home. The bicycle gathered momentum. I howled

    in pain but Yusuf had no clue to the real reason why I was

    yelling. He thought I was angry because he had pushed me.

    Finally the slope ended and ironically the bicycle came to a stop

    in front of the Civil Hospital which was on the way to our home.

    My foot was mangled and the centre bar of the front wheel was

    embedded deep into my ankle. Yusuf carried me quickly into

    the hospital scared not only at the sight of the blood but of the

    consequences of the accident.

    Seeing the gravity of the situation, the doctor on call, quickly

    injected a dose of Tetanus Toxoid Serum to prevent further

    infection. The doctor did not have access to an X-ray machine,

    therefore he cleaned and dressed the wound and sent us home.

    What happened? my mother queried angrily of Yusuf.

    She was waiting in the veranda, anxious at the delay and seeing

  • the bandage on my foot, was hysterical. I was put to bed

    immediately.

    About twenty minutes later, I felt very thirsty and called to

    my mother May I have some water please Within ten minutes,

    I made her a request for another glass of water. No sooner had

    I drank the second glass of water, I asked my mother for some

    more. My mother, who was sitting by my bed, felt something

    was wrong. Our neighbor was also a government officer. My

    mother ran to him house to check if he was still in as he would

    have the office his house. As luck would have it, our neighbor

    was about to leave for work. This was not his usual time but he

    had been delayed. My neighbors bungalow and ours were the

    only two bungalows at quite a distance from the main city with

    no mode of public transport. Had our neighbor left in his jeep as

    per his usual time my mother would not have been able to rush

    me back to the Civil Hospital.

    The doctor on call instructed the nurse to hook me up to the

    saline bottle as I was extremely dehydrated. He realized that I

    was having an anaphylactic reaction to the serum. A reaction of

    this type can cause death in minutes as the nervous system gets

    paralysed suddenly, if the antidote is not administered to the

    patient. The doctor had not taken the precaution of checking to

    see if I was allergic to the serum prior to giving it to me. I was

    given nearly two dozen injections to stop the reaction; my

    progress was monitored before I was sent home. This was the

    first close encounter with death.

    The following day, I was driven to Jalna, another city close

    by, that had a Civil Hospital equipped with X-ray equipment.

    16 I am.. I am not.. I am

  • My ankle was x-rayed and it was found that I had multiple

    fractures and my foot was promptly put into a cast. We returned

    home with my leg in cast from knee down. It was nearly 3

    months before the cast was removed. And this is when death

    made a second attempt on my life.

    We had just finished dinner, my mother was clearing the

    table and my father was already deep into his work files at his

    desk in the living room. I went to wash my hands in the bathroom

    which was at a lower level to the dining area. Built on grand

    scale, the bathroom was close to 70 feet by 20 feet in dimension.

    I climbed down the stairs into the bathroom to wash my hands

    and kept on playing with the water in the washbasin.

    My mother shouted Raj, stop playing in the water. Come

    out of the bathroom immediately!

    She had her back to me as I climbed the stairs to the upper

    level. I had barely reached the doorway when there was a

    resounding crash. A cloud of dust engulfe...