How to Work Effectively With People Who Act, Think & Work SO Differently From You!

Presented by Kelli Vrla, CSP

                                               Today’s Agenda

3 key things: 1.  Change happens over time,

not overnight. 2.  Habit changing is a process,

not just a checklist.

Today’s Agenda

3 key things: 3.  Ask yourself an a.m. and p.m. question

each day. o a.m.: What can I do today to work best with the

personalities I’m surrounded by? o p.m.: What did I do today to work best with the

personalities I’m surrounded by?

Today’s Agenda

1. How to communicate and interact with people with different communication styles

2. Defuse potential conflicts before they start.

3. Identify the needs and hot buttons.

4. Self-analysis test

Today’s Agenda

5. SELF Profile

6. Building loyalty and commitments

7. How to focus on your organization’s big-picture goals and objectives

Today’s Agenda •  The universe rewards

actions, not good intentions. •  Practice your own self-

improvement of being a master coach.

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Golden Rule: Do unto others as you prefer.

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                                               5 Questions on Behavior Patterns

1.  Is this person more direct or indirect? 2.  Is this person more a people person or a

task-driven person? 3.  Does this person seem more comfortable

with structure or spontaneity? 4.  Does this person seem happier with more

detail or high concept? 5.  Does this person seem more extroverted

or introverted?

Socializer

•  Under stress: §  Very sharp-tongued

•  Key goal: §  Get noticed or appreciated.

•  Needs: §  Excitement §  Adventure §  Spontaneity §  Change §  Fun §  Being around people

This is someone who’s very direct and loves to be around people.

Socializer This is someone who’s very direct and loves to be

around people. •  Key turnoff:

§  Invisible §  Isolated

•  Hot buttons: §  Indecision §  Waiting §  Lack of enthusiasm §  Too conventional

•  Key focus: §  Limited options §  Showy demonstrations

Executive Director

•  Under stress: §  Impatient

•  Key goal: §  Get it done.

•  Needs: §  Control §  Responsibility §  Change §  Movement §  Fast pace

This person is very direct and not so much into people as

into getting results.

Executive Director This person is very direct and not so much into people as

into getting results. •  Key turnoff:

§  Too much detail •  Hot buttons:

§  Laziness §  Too much emotion §  Lack of decision making §  Ambiguity

•  Key focus: §  Bottom line §  Bullet points

Loyal Team Player

•  Under stress: §  Frustration §  Indecisiveness §  Feeling pressured

•  Key goal: §  Get along.

•  Needs: §  Acceptance §  Cooperation §  Stability §  Status quo

This person cares very much about the human element and

the big picture.

Loyal Team Player This person cares very much about the human element and

the big picture.

•  Key turnoff: §  Conflicts §  Rude behavior

•  Hot buttons: §  Too much change §  Conflict §  Lack of fairness §  Loss of stability and security §  Feeling rushed

•  Key focus: §  How it helps everyone §  Consistent and fair

Factual

•  Under stress: §  Factual §  Isolate §  Noncommunicative §  Picky with details §  Sullen

•  Key goal: §  Get it right.

•  Needs: §  Perfection §  Autonomy §  Consistency §  Rules §  High standards

This person thrives on facts and figures.

Factual This person thrives on facts and figures.

•  Key turnoff: §  Guess or wing it §  Don’t follow the rules

•  Key focus: §  Follow a logical sequence. §  Set up an appointment.

Factual Person

Interact Effectively With People Different From You

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The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People — Dr. Stephen Covey

UVA

Understood

Valued

Appreciated

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Problem Solver 1.  Identify the problem. 2.  Analyze the problem. 3.  Generate possible solutions. 4.  Analyze your solutions. 5.  Choose the best solution.

Individualized Attention

Every team member needs to be aware of how his or her job fits into the big picture of the organization’s goal. §  Job-passion connection §  How connected are you to your job? §  What do you do?

UVA

Understood

Valued

Appreciated

Jerk Behaviors

Negative feedback

Withholding praise Blaming Criticizing

Distrusting Blowing up Not caring Lacking patience

Not listening Demanding Setting

impossible deadlines

Breaking promises

Defuse Potential Conflicts

DTTB: §  Don’t Take The Bait

QTIP: §  Quit Taking It Personally

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Potential Land Mines 1. What you should’ve done …

2. Well, obviously …

3. As the memo clearly stated …

4. What we needed per the last memo …

5. What you failed to see …

6. What were you thinking?

Example

Always 100%

Soon Time frame

Never 0%

Improve Systems and People Interactions

•  Recognize that not all conflict is a bad thing.

•  Defuse conflicts before they affect the entire work group.

•  Let it go when you can. Address it when you must.

Rule to follow:

4 Choices 1.  Stay and do nothing. 2.  Leave. 3.  Change our attitude. 4.  Change our behavior.

Questions

1.  What’s my real goal here? 2.  What can I or can’t I control or influence? 3.  What options do we have? 4.  Is the battle worth fighting?

Building Loyalty and Commitment

Principles: 1.  Make a true effort to

understand and appreciate the differences in everyone.

2.  Strive to resolve conflict before it escalates.

3.  Don’t take the bait.

Building Loyalty and Commitment

Principles: 4.  Communicate openly

and candidly. 5.  Realize the importance

of all of your fellow team members.

6.  Ask for people’s input with problem solving and decision making.

In Closing

Practice, practice, practice!

Build yourself and your colleagues.

Set a goal.

People-building is a long-term project.

Change happens over time, not overnight.