How to Make Sentences Clear and Concise

Richard Lanham’s "Paramedic Method" for writing

Richard Lanham, a professor of English at UCLA, invented an easy-to-use method for making your writing clearer and more concise.

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Editing your professional writing using the Paramedic Method will make your prose easier to read. Sentences that are easy to read are more persuasive and more user-centered.

1a. Circle the Prepositions

Too many prepositions can drain all the action out of a sentence. Get rid of the prepositions, and find a strong active verb to make the sentence direct:

Preposition:

any word (or group of words) that relates a noun or pronoun to another word in a sentence.

common prepositions: about, after, among, behind, down up, from, of, off, past, before, underneath, with, above, during, beyond, in, since, until, within, according to, along, at beside, by except, into, on, through, up, without, across, amid, before, besides, concerning, for, like, over toward, upon.

Example

Original: In this passage is an example of the use of the rule of justice in argumentation.

Revised: This passage exemplifies argumentation using the rule of justice.

2. Circle the "is" forms

Using "is" in a sentence gets it off to a slow start, and makes the sentence weak. Replace as many "to be" verbs with action verbs as you can, and change all passive voice ("is defended by") to an active voice ("defends").

Original: The point I wish to make is that fish sleep with their eyes open.

Revised: Fish sleep with their eyes open.

3. Ask, "Where's the action of the sentence?" "Who's kicking who?" The action of the sentence describes what

who is doing what to whom. If you get stuck in a passive sentence always ask the question: "Who does what to whom?" If you use that formula you will always write active sentences.

Original: Burning books is considered censorship by some people.

Revised: Some people consider burning books censorship.

4. Put this "kicking" action in a simple active verb.

Finding the subject of the sentence is the person or thing doing the action. In the following sentence, the subject is “the team.” “The team placed the gyroscope laterally.”

Original: The theory of relativity isn't demonstrated by this experiment.

Revised: This experiment does not demonstrate the theory of relativity.

5. Start fast--no slow windups Windups are phrases, usually prepositional

phrases, that set up an idea to be expressed in a sentence. Some windups are necessary or important to the meaning of the sentences they introduce, but others just make sentences wordy or unnecessarily complex. Deciding whether a windup is necessary or not depends on the context.

Stick to the action and avoid opening sentences with phrases like these:

My opinion is that.... The point I wish to make is that ... The fact of the matter is that...

6. Redundancies:

redundancies are patterns or words that are repeated in a sentence. Using redundancies leads to awkward and lengthy sentences, which can make your sentences and your ideas hard to understand. The following sentence contains redundancies (was conducted, with):

"The experiment was conducted at 1330 GMT and was conducted with an increased basal rate with a double bolus."Eliminating redundancies reduces word count and makes sentences easier to understand:"The experiment was conducted at 1330 GMT using an increased basal rate and a double bolus."

Your turn …

Example Concise Solutions:

Employees at this company need a better money manager. (Original word count: 26. New word count: 10).

In recent years, engineers at Sandia Labs have participated in the Search and Rescue operations. (Original word count: 24. New word count: 16).

After reviewing the results of your research, and within the context of the study, we find evidence supporting significant changes in our operating procedures. (Original word count: 36. New word count: 25).