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HOWTOMAKEALONGDISTANCERELATIONSHIPWORK

Long-distancerelationshipscanbeextremelyhard.Notonlyisitdifficultbecauseyoucannotseeortalktoyourpartnerasfrequentlyasusual,butpracticallyeveryoneyoumeetwillhaveahorrorstoryabouthowalong-distancerelationshipfailedforthem.Ioncereadthatabsencediminishessmallloveandincreasesgreatones.Keepthisinmindwhenyouaregoingthroughroughtimes.Ifyou

havenotyetcommittedtoalong-distancerelationshipandarecontemplatingit,knowthatitisahugecommitment.Makesurethatyoureallylovetheotherpersonandthatitisworthitforyoutomakecertainsacrifices.Belowaresomeguidelinestomakeitwork.

1.Behonestaboutwhatyouexpectfromeachother.Doyouwantthefreedomtodateotherpeople?Areyoucomfortablewithyourpartnermakingfriendswiththeoppositesex?Areyougoingtotrythelong-distancethingoutandstickwithitifitseemstowork,butnottrytoforcetherelationship?Discussthesethingswithyourpartnerandbehonestaboutyourexpectations.Thisway,everythingisoutintheopenanditwilllessenthesuspicionsyouhaveabouttheotherperson.Also,youneverhavetoquestionifyouarecrossingaboundary.

2.Coordinateyourschedules.Berealisticaboutthetimecommitmentyoucangiveeachother.Ifitworksforbothofyourschedules,planontalkingataparticulartimeatnight.However,thiscanplacestressonyouifyouendupwantingtogooutwithfriendsandyourlong-distancepartnerisnotunderstandingaboutyourneedtobesocialandbranchout,orgetsjealousofthetimeyouspendwithotherpeople.Nomatterwhat,trytokeepintouchdailythroughphonecalls,E-mail,AIM,orothermeans.DownloadSkype,net2phone,orphonefree.Itsfreetotalkonlineifyoubothdownloadprogramslikethese...nomatterwhereyouare.Also,considerawebcamforamorepersonalconnection.

3.Makeplansinadvancetoseeeachotherinperson.Ifyousetfirmdatestoseeeachotherandsticktothem,itmakesthewaitlessdifficultbecauseyouc

anspendtimeplanningoutingswithyourpartnerandlookingforwardtoseeingthem.Whenyoumutuallyagreeoncertaintimestoseeeachother,itlessensproblemsthatcanarisefromonepersonfeelingliketheyarepressuringtheotherintoseeingthemandtheotherfeelinglikethearetoobusyandarepushingawayfromtherelationshipbecauseofthepressure.

4.Arrangetoparticipateinlong-distanceactivitiestogether.Meetonlinetoplaygamesagainsteachotherorwatchatelevisionshowatthesametime.Also,tryvirtualdatesSendyoupartneranE-maildescribingaplace(forexample,abeach)andatime(dusk).Askthemtodescribewhatkindofdatetheywouldhavewithyourinthissetting,whatyouwouldwear,talkabout,eat,whatactivitiesyouwouldtakepartin,etc.Doinglittleactivitieslikethistogetherhelpsyo

utoreconnectandremembertheday-to-dayfunyouusedtohave.

5.Donotmakeissueslargerthantheyactuallyare.Inlong-distancerelationships,communicationcanbeverydifficult.Avoidfightingoversmallissues...withthecommunicationbarriers,thesesmallthingscanturnintobigfights.Agreetodisagreewhenitlookslikeyouarentmakinganyprogress.Inthesetypesofrelationships,youareboundtohavefeelingsofuncertaintyanddoubt.Dontmakeanydrasticchangesunlessyouareabsolutelypositivethatthingsarentworking.Threateningtobreakupeverytimeyoutwoaregoingthrougharoughpatchwonthelpthesituationatall,particularlyifyouarentseriousaboutendingit.Docommunicatehonestlyaboutproblemsthatyouarehavingwiththelong-distancesituation,butdoitinamannerthatisconstructiveandproblem-solving.

6.Surprisethem.Sendflowersorchocolatestoyourpartnersoffice.Foranextra-specialtreat,Fed-Exthemfoodfromtheirfavoriterestaurantbackhome.SendcardsfornoreasonandE-mailsjusttoletthemknowthatyouarethinkingabo

8/9/2019 How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work

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utthem.

7.Sharethedetailsofyourlife.Talkaboutthelittlethingsthathappeninyourday.Keepyourpartnerinformedaboutwhatyouareuptoatworkandsocially.Callyourpartnerforadvice.Whenyouhadthechancetospendmoretimetogether,youtalkedaboutthesethings,right?Itwillhelpmaintainasenseofnormalcyandasenseoftrustbetweenthetwoofyou.

8.Focusonthefuture.Along-distancerelationshipwillnotworkforever.Makeplanstoliveinthesamecityassoonaspossible.Ambiguityaboutthefuturewilladdtensionanddoubt.

9.Neverassumetheworst.Ifyourpartnerislatecallingyouonedayoryouhearsomeoneelsesvoiceinthebackground,askthemwhatisgoingonbeforeflyingintoafitofrageandaccusingthemofbeingunfaithful.Ifyoucantgetaholdofthem,callafriendinsteadanddistractyourself.Nomatterwhat,dontstressoverit.

10.Meetyourpartnersfriendsandhaveyourpartnermeetyourfriends.Itwill

helpyouhavemoretrustintherelationshipifyoudevelopmutualfriendswhocanreassureyouwhenyouarehavingdoubts.Althoughyoudontwanttohavetoturntosomeoneelsetosolveallofyourproblems,itcandefinitelybebeneficialtohavesomeoneelsetheretoassuageyourfears.