How To Live & Die

Khushwant Singh

The Man in the Bulb meditates on the dying of the light

Death is rarely spoken about in our homes. I wonder why. Especially when each one of us knows that death has to

come, has to strike. It’s inevitable. This line from Yas Yagana Changezi says it best: Khuda mein shak ho to ho, maut mein nahin koi shak (You may or may not doubt the existence of God, you can’t doubt the certainty of death). And one must prepare oneself to face it.

At 95, I do think of death. I think of death very often but I

don’t lose sleep over it. I think of those gone; keep wondering where they are.

Where have they gone? Where will they be? I don’t know the answers: where you go, what happens next.

I once asked the Dalai Lama how one should face death and he had advised meditation. I’m not scared of death; I do not fear it. Death is inevitable. While I have

thought about it a lot, I don’t brood about it. I’m prepared for it.

I don’t fear death. What I dread is the day I go blind or am incapacitated because of old age—that’s what I fear—I’d rather die than live in that condition. I’m a burden enough

on my daughter Mala and don’t want to be an extra burden on her. All that I hope for is that when death comes to me, it comes swiftly, without

much pain, like fading away in sound slumber. Till then I’ll keep working and living each day as it comes. There’s so much left to do. I have to content myself by saying

these lines of Iqbal:

“Baagh-e-bahisht se mujhe hukm-e-safar diya tha kyon? Kaar-e-Jahaan daraaz hai, ab mera intezaar kar

(Why did you order me out of the garden of paradise? I have a lot left to do; now you wait for me).”

I believe in the Jain philosophy that death ought to be celebrated. Earlier, whenever I was upset or low, I used to go to the cremation grounds. It has a cleansing effect, and

worked like a therapy for me. In fact, I’d written my own epitaph years ago:

“Here lies one who spared neither man nor God Waste not your tears on him, he was a sod Writing nasty things he regarded as great fun

Thank the Lord he is dead, this son of a gun.”

I don’t believe in rebirth or in reincarnation, in the day of judgement or in heaven or hell. I accept the finality of death. We do not know what happens to us after we die but one should help a person go in peace—at peace with himself and with the world.

I’ve lived a reasonably contented life. I’ve often thought about what it is that makes

people happy—what one has to do in order to achieve happiness. 1. First and foremost is good health. If you do not enjoy good health, you can never be

happy. Any ailment, however trivial, will deduct something from your happiness.

2. Second, a healthy bank balance. It need not run into crores, but it should be enough to provide for comforts, and there should be something to spare for recreation—eating out, going to the movies, travel and holidays in the hills or by the sea. Shortage

of money can be demoralising. Living on credit or borrowing is demeaning and lowers one in one’s own eyes.

3. Third, your own home. Rented places can never give you the comfort or security of

a home that is yours for keeps. If it has garden space, all the better. Plant your own trees and flowers, see them grow and blossom, and cultivate a sense of kinship with them.

4. Fourth, an understanding companion, be it your spouse or a friend. If you have

too many misunderstandings, it robs you of your peace of mind. It is better to be divorced than to be quarrelling all the time.

5. Fifth, stop envying those who have done better than you in life—risen higher, made more money, or earned more fame. Envy can be corroding; avoid comparing

yourself with others. 6. Sixth, do not allow people to descend on you for gup-shup. By the time you get

rid of them, you will feel exhausted and poisoned by their gossip-mongering.

7. Seventh, cultivate a hobby or two that will fulfil you—gardening, reading,

writing, painting, playing or listening to music. Going to clubs or parties to get free drinks, or to meet celebrities, is a criminal waste of time. It’s important to concentrate

on something that keeps you occupied meaningfully. I have family members and friends who spend their entire day caring for stray dogs, giving them food and medicines. There are others who run mobile clinics, treating sick people and animals free of charge.

8. Eighth, every morning and evening devote 15 minutes to introspection. In

the mornings, 10 minutes should be spent in keeping the mind absolutely still, and five listing the things you have to do that day. In the evenings, five minutes should be set

aside to keep the mind still and 10 to go over the tasks you had intended to do. 9. Ninth, don’t lose your temper. Try not to be short-tempered, or vengeful. Even

when a friend has been rude, just move on.

10. Above all, when the time comes to go, one should go like a man without any regret or grievance against anyone. Iqbal said it beautifully in a couplet in Persian: “You ask me about the signs of a man of faith? When death comes to him, he has a

smile on his lips.”

(Excerpts from the Book ‘Absolute Khushwant: The Low-Down on Life, Death & Most Things In-Between’ - By Khushwant Singh - Penguin.)

Khushwant Singh (2 February 1915 – 20 March 2014)

was an Indian novelist, lawyer, politician and journalist.

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