How to Control Negative Emotions

8/10/2019 How to Control Negative Emotions

1/21

How to control negative emotions. What to Know. What toThink. What to Do

This post reveals the issue of how to control your negative emotions . The article will reflectthree levels of emotion management: Know, Think and Do.

First of all, you should know some things about the nature of emotions. The lack of ability to

manage your feelings is related to some beliefs and stereotypes. In the Know! "ection, I#m going

to dispel these false beliefs and tell you why negative emotions need to be controlled, and whether

this control is possible or not. $lso, I will tell you what e%actly I mean by negative emotions.

In the Think! "ection, I will tell you about what rational attitudes you should get rid of in order not

to let your feelings constantly gain upper hand over you, about what e%actly you should think if you

want to overcome your negative emotions.

Do! & is the part of the article, which is closely related to practice. In this part, I will describe the

specific techni'ues by means of which you will be able to manage your emotions, to rela%, to get

rid of your anger, fear and panic.

These three sections reflect the actual steps of negative emotion management. First, you should

know something about emotions. "econd, you will need the ability to direct your thinking in the

right way and to get rid of the thoughts, which prevent you from gaining the upper hand over your

emotions. Third, you will definitely need to master the techni'ues, which allow you to pull yourself

together and to settle your thinking.

(motion management is a difficult, many)sided and comple% process and I tried to reveal its steps

more fully. Therefore, the article is very informative.

"elf)control is an art and a science. *ou should know a lot of things in order to master the skill. I

hope that you will get the ma%imum information from my article.


2/21

+et#s start considering things in their proper order

Part 1: Know

1 Emotions Can Be Controlled

I cannot say that the idea of emotion control is popular in our society. The whole mass culture is

permeated by the atmosphere of emotion domination over our personality.

The plot of classic literature is built around the mad passions overcoming the heroes: thirst of

revenge, lust, uncontrolled passion, fear.

The movie characters commit inconsiderable and fatal acts in the name of love and greed of gold.

n T- screen and theater stages, we constantly see strong emotions: people are swearing, yelling,

getting ticked off and crying.

The western art is sealed with a human servility toward violent feelings and sudden impulses.

e used to think that our emotions represent a certain primacy of our personality, which

completely determines its behavior. /any of us treat feelings, as an uncontrollable element that we

cannot tame. It seems to us that all we have to do is to obey this element.

+ike ancient people who worshiped the element, which they could not control and understand,

people idoli0e their emotions. They take mad sensual impulses as beauty, poetry, ine%orable fate,

predestination and inevitability. They blame their feelings on their actions 1 I was angry, annoyed

and I could not help myself, so I#m not guilty!2.

3ut, contrary to fashion, popular opinions of emotions can be controlled. It#s time to break down

stereotypes24

rom !cience"s Point o# $iew

ne may ask: how can we implement self)control regarding the fact that human#s personality is

something uniform and indivisible5 If it, this personality, e%periences emotions, then by means of

what are they controlled5 In other words, how to control the emotions being inside that personality,

which itself e%periences emotions5

I will answer this way.

6egardless the fact the brain represents a uniform organism & it is divided into sections,

departments, each of which has its own functions and can interfere with the functions of other

departments. *ou can draw an analogy with a business corporation. $ firm progress toward a goal


3/21

and all its departments are directed to maintain this goal, which is achieved by the coordinated

operation of these departments.

7owever, some company departments can work worse than others, for e%ample, showing some

lack of discipline. It does not mean that the whole corporation is undisciplined, and it does not

reflect the fact that the problem cannot be eliminated. ther departments can have an impact on

certain parts of the organi0ation8 for e%ample, improving the discipline with the help of new

technologies of controlling the employees# work. It is possible to say that the corporation controls

itself.

The same thing occurs in the brain, in which we see the work and cooperation of different

departments.

Impulsive desires originate in the limbic part of the brain, and self)control originates in the

prefrontal corte%. hen we try not to eat in the evening the cake we want, the prefrontal corte% is

activated, and runs the self)control!.

From neurobiology#s point of view, the self)control is certainly possible.

There are known cases, when as a result of brain in9uries, the prefrontal corte% got damaged, and

people with such an in9ury almost completely lost the ability to control their desires 1for e%ample,

they se%ually harassed their relatives2.

$ well)developed self)control reflects the developed brain and mature consciousness. ho of

people control their desires and feelings worst5 hildren4 3ecause their brains are not as developed

as the adult ones.

The same goes for animals, whose behavior is based on instincts and they have few opportunities

to get involved in their work.

3ut the brain of a mature person is much better developed, than the animal#s brain. $ person

possesses autonomy4 If a person controls his emotions badly, then he is likened to children oranimals.

It is possible to improve the work of our prefrontal corte%. I will tell about it in the Do! part of this

article.

rom Dail% E&'erience"s Point o# $iew

If we talk about daily e%perience, then we can see that it also has no denials to this conclusion.

(ach of us can make sure that it is possible to control the emotions. $fter all, the ability to self)


4/21

control varies from person to person. "omeone, because of his profession, has to control his

feelings constantly, such as service workers or professional poker players.

+ook at these people8 if they learned to control their emotions in the course of their life, then it is

possible. $ person can develop the ability to control his feelings by himself. The greatest skill in this

ability has been achieved by yogis and monks that belong to the (astern and other religions. *ou

don#t have to become a 3uddhist monk in order to control your passions.

3ut we can learn from them a lot of useful techni'ues. $nd this is also the sub9ect of this article.

rom (% )wn E&'erience"s Point o# $iew

/y own e%perience testifies that the control of feelings is certainly possible. "ome time ago, I was

very emotional. I always had negative e%periences and could not help myself. I was regularly losing

my composure8 I was angry, nervous and afraid. $s a result of my emotionality, I made a lot of

inconsiderable decisions and had a lot of problems.

There was a time, when I also thought that I cannot control my emotions. I thought that I was

what I was, and I would not be able to change myself. 3ecause emotions are a part of me4 3ut,

since then, a lot of time has passed. I still can e%perience negative emotions and I am not always

able to get them under control. 3ut now it happens not so often, and I manage to pull myself

together oftener.

Due to this, my life has become happier . I have gained the freedom from destructive emotions. I

began to control them, not allowing them to control me4 I can conclude that in a few years I have

achieved some success in controlling my emotions8 therefore, I have no doubts regarding person#s

capabilities to self)control. In this article, I am ready to share this e%perience with you.

* +o, are the so,rce o# negative emotions

It is wrong to attribute the occurrence of emotions to the outside world. (motions represent simply

your reaction to the events of the outside world. This statement is proved by the fact that the

reaction to the same circumstances vary from person to person.

*ou can manage this reaction by yourself.

- egative Emotions /ead To !,##ering

This is a very banal statement, which will surely seem obvious to everyone. 3ut, it#s not all that

simple. +et me clarify and e%plain to you, what I mean by negative emotions, because all

reasonings of this article are based on this meaning.
http://nperov.com/happiness/how-to-find-happiness-within-yourself-and-in-your-life/http://nperov.com/happiness/how-to-find-happiness-within-yourself-and-in-your-life/


5/21


6/21

3eing overwhelmed with passions and thirst of your satisfaction, you become like a drug addict

who is busy searching for a new dose of the drug, although he perfectly knows that this path leads

only to suffering.

"ome emotions cause nothing but suffering, such as fear and agitation. f course, these feelings

arise in a person for a reason. e cannot say that fear is only a negative and useless feeling. Fear

is designed to signal the danger. In the wild, this feeling aims at maintaining the individual survival.

$gitation reports about a problem by directing your thoughts in the direction of its solution.

3ut often, these emotions perform no useful function. $ 'uite normal protective fear can be

transformed into phobias and uncontrollable social fears. $gitation can turn into nervousness on

every occasion .

I cannot classify, for e%ample, fear only to negative feelings, because it, in certain manifestations,

represents protective function.

ithin the division of emotions into positive and negative, I use the 'uantity criterion that is set by

the power of our e%periences and their influence on our lives. There is nothing wrong with the

se%ual desire itself. 3ut when the desire is transformed into lust and becomes unmanageable, it

passes to the negative emotion rank. 1*es, I attribute some physiological needs to emotions as

well: need for food, need for se%. $fter all, these needs have a profound impact on our sensual

world.2

The same is true of the need for eat. (ven the feeling of being in love needs to be controlled,

because it can lead to inconsiderable acts. The same feelings can be both positive 1or neutral2 and

negative.

;ot all pleasant feelings are positive, and not all unpleasant are negative.

For e%ample, I cannot attribute the malicious pleasure, & which many people e%perience, when

people around them are in a bad way, & to positive emotions, despite the fact that it is a pleasant

feeling. $fter all, this feeling results from envy and personal problems.

$nd the an%ious feeling, & which arises when you remember that you forgot to take your child

away from the kindergarten & is not a negative emotion. *ou do not have to think about how to get

rid of this feeling, 9ust because it is unpleasant. >et into the car and take your child4

I want to say that negative emotions are those emotions that bring unhappiness to you and to

people around you, they deprive you of freedom of will and do not bring you any benefit,

irrespective of the fact whether these feelings are pleasant or unpleasant4
http://nperov.com/health/how-to-stop-being-nervous/http://nperov.com/health/how-to-stop-being-nervous/http://nperov.com/health/how-to-stop-being-nervous/http://nperov.com/health/how-to-stop-being-nervous/


7/21

For a good reason I headlined the section with the principle of relations between suffering and

negative emotions. ;amely it determines the moment, the e%tremum point, when our emotions

serve no survival purpose and convert to negative emotion rank4

This principle e%plains why you need to control your emotions. It should be done in order to get rid

of suffering, lack of freedom and bad conse'uences caused by inconsiderable actions.

I e%amine the definition of negative emotions in detail. The reader should clearly understand the

terms used by the author.

I agree with the hristian concept of the seven deadly sins, although I am not a religious person. I

believe that the listed vices are the cause of many human sufferings. 3y my list of negative

emotions will be wider, than the seven deadly sins of hristianity.

I attribute the following things to the negative emotions: phobias, envy, e%aggerated vanity,

la0iness, depression , offense, an%iety, lust, gluttony, boredom, addiction, servility, cowardice,

shyness, self)doubt, self)accusation tendency and other emotions.

0 (anaging Does ot (ean !,''ressing

There is a popular misconception nowadays, according to which, emotions are the most natural

manifestation of our personality, and the attempt to hold them back will only hide them and will

drive them deep into the psyche, which is fraught with bad conse'uences.

This belief is based on the Freudian interpretation, perhaps even on the incorrect interpretation of

this psychology direction. This opinion is true concerning only the application to a limited number of

situations. In general, the emotion control is not a concept identical to emotion suppression.

The emotion suppression is associated with situations, when we simply get distracted from

unpleasant e%periences, mask them, for e%ample, by means of alcohol, when we do not want to
http://nperov.com/health/how-to-deal-depression-without-drugs/http://nperov.com/health/how-to-deal-depression-without-drugs/


8/21

understand the reasons that have generated these emotions, and simply try to get distracted from

them and to escape them. Then, of course, they will not disappear.

The emotion control is related to the source elimination of e%periences, problem solving, emotion

acceptance and their analysis, getting rid of negative reason affirmations, use of effective self)

control methods, etc.. In short, self)control is much more difficult than feeling suppression, but it is

much more effective.

"ometimes, in order to get rid of negative emotions, it is necessary to solve a problem and to

understand yourself. In other cases, you can simply rela% and get rid of stress, and this will lead to

getting rid of bad e%periences.

Imagine that you had a difficult and long day at work. *ou came home angry because you were

very tired. 3ut then, you took a rela%ing bath and your irritation passed4 an you say that you

have suppressed your feelings5 ;o, because they were caused solely by fatigue, and having got rid

of that, you got rid of the accompanying feelings.

3ut not all emotional problems can be solved this way. In many situations, you need to understand

and find the problem source.

+o, 2re ot +o,r Emotions

This idea may seem strange. $fter all, we are used to identify ourselves with our emotions. econsider feelings as integral parts of our self. 3ut is this really so5

hen I say that emotions are not a part of your self, I don#t want simply to say that under the

influence of emotions you cease to be yourself. I want to emphasi0e that your true self lies much

deeper than emotional e%periences. $nd if you learn to feel this self!, stable and independent of

temporary feelings, then your emotions will not have an impact on your behavior.

In this case, you will learn to recogni0e negative emotions as something e%ternal to your self!,

something that stands somewhere on the surface and does not reach the center! of yourpersonality.

This does not necessarily mean that you will get rid of any emotions completely. *ou will simply

cease to identify yourself with them. Feelings can still occur. For e%ample, you will e%perience a

surge of anger. *our heart will speed up, your facial skin will redden, your nostrils will dilate, but

you will be not there4 *ou will understand that: it#s not me4! and it#s not a part of me4!

Feelings will cease to bring you into emotional into%ication, and you will learn to withstand them4


9/21


10/21

I must say at once that emotions are very difficult to control & it takes practice and discipline. (ven

when you make great strides in self)control, you will fail to control your emotions. If you blame

yourself for every such case, nothing good will come of it.

Taking responsibility means looking after yourself constantly, finding the source of your feelings

inside you, working with it and not blaming e%ternal circumstances for everything: the hard work,

strict boss or boors on the roads.

Taking responsibility means not blaming your feelings for your actions as if it they represent an

element that you cannot cope with. Fatigue, stress, offense are not the e%cuse for your actions.

*our rudeness toward other people does not e%cuse the fact that you were too emotional!, when

you yelled at someone. This means that you did not make sure that you can control them.

Taking responsibility is a resolute and courageous act. This is an important step toward self)control.

Therefore, when you think about your emotions, consider them on the part of the sub9ect, i.e. you.

*ou should think I feel!, and not something makes me feel.!

*ou should think

Im worried about money ,! but not the lack of money makes me worry.

6emember, you are the source of your feelings, not the e%ternal reality.

* Think o# +o,r Emotions 2s o# )ther Person"s eelings

This section complements the previous paragraph.

hen you make 9udgments about your feelings, try to distance yourself from them. "uppose a

psycho cut you off on the road, you are full of indignation and you say to yourself: hat a wretch4

7ow dare he to do that5 @lague on him4 7ow can one drive like that5!

Imagine that you e%press all the accumulated bitterness to your imaginary psychologist, who'uietly listens to your abuse and complaints about the idiots, who filled the city roads.

3ut the doctor was not with you in the car, when the incident took place. 7e had a good day and he

does not share your indignation. $nd he needs to diagnose you. hat will he write down in his

notebook5 7e is not likely to write something like: "ome idiot thinks he is the main person on the

road and cuts my patients off4!

7e would rather make a note: The patient e%periences some irritation because of unfamiliar

people#s actions, whom he meets on the road.!


11/21

The doctor is not involved in the sensual world of the patient and does not render him undue

familiarity. 7is task is to make an obvious diagnosis and put on medication.

Therefore, when you analy0e your feelings, imagine that you are the patient and the doctor in one

person.

/ake yourself a clear diagnosis, deprive your thoughts about your emotions of the e%cess content

and think of them as about some ob9ective facts, not about some e%ternal events.

Do not think:

My neighbor bought a new car, which is more expensive than mine. here from he got the money

for it! "e got it #money$ due to some dishonest means for sure.

Do think:

I envy my neighbor again.

It will teach you to see the source of your feelings inside you and not to identify yourself with

them.

- 8et rid o# negative attit,des

/any emotions originate from our way of thinking and our internal attitudes. To combat the

negative emotions, you need to get rid of some attitudes. For e%ample:

94 have to 5e 5etter than others in ever% 'artic,lar.

The implementation of this desire is not possible, because there are no perfect people and you

cannot be better than others in every particular. There will always be someone, who will be better

than you at something. $nd there is nothing wrong with that, this is a normal thing. That is the

reason why people learn from each other, share their e%perience and adopt other people#s

strengths.

3oth society and personal developments are built on the interchange of knowledge and skills.

If you rely only on yourself and believe in the fact that you have to be the best, then, you will

suffer, because you will never be able to fulfill that desire. $nd instead of learning from other

people, you will grieve over the fact that they are superior to you at something.

9Ever%one sho,ld treat me well.

It is impossible, 'uite the same as it is impossible to be better than others in every particular. ;o

matter how good you are, you are not likely to be able to win the love and respect of each certain


12/21


13/21

94 sho,ld 'rove that 4 am right to those who disagree with me.

;o, you shouldn#t. *ou will never convince some people that you are right, even if you are really

close to the truth and infallible in logic. Therefore, the attempts to convince someone of something

are often doomed to failure and cause only mutual indignation of both parties of the dialogue.

/any people will never accept your views and beliefs, no matter how right they may seem to you.

hat of the fact that people disagree with you5 hat#s the difference5 (ven if you manage to

convince them, what will you gain by that5 Auite often & nothing at all4

94 sho,ld res'ond to ever% ins,lt against me.

;o, you shouldn#t4 If the neighbor#s dog barks at you, you do not have to bark back at it. The fact

that someone offended you should not create a problem for you. It is 9ust a personal problem ofthe person, who insulted you, not yours.

There is a great 3uddhist parable. nce the 3uddha and his disciples passed by a village. The

village people began to insult the 3uddha, but he did not react to it. The 3uddha#s disciples began

to ask the teacher, why he did not respond to such vile insults.

The 3uddha said: I am a free man and my actions result from my inner state. ;othing can

manipulate me, including other people#s insults. I am the master of my state.!

In his turn, the 3uddha asked his disciples: hen we passed by another village, people carried us

food, but we were not hungry and gave them back their food, what did they do with it5!

$pparently, they, after taking it back from us, handed it to their children and animals.!

It is so,! & replied the 3uddha. I do not accept your insults, as I have not taken the food from the

other village#s inhabitants. I give your indignation back to you. Do with it, whether you want.

-.1 8et 7id o# 2n% 2##irmations Containing 9!ho,ld

7ave you noticed the element that combines all the principles, which I have outlined above5 The

word should!. This word reflects your e%pectations.

Frustration is often born from awareness of distinction between your e%pectations and what reality

in fact is:

(veryone should treat me respectfully!

(verything should be fair!

The government should be humane!


14/21


15/21

$naly0e your emotions. $sk yourself the following 'uestions:

hat for5 hat#s the point5

here will this lead to5

hat are my prospects5

For e%ample, you are worried about tomorrow#s meeting. $sk yourself: why are you worried!

hats the point! ill it help you prepare for the meeting better! I doubt it. here will worry lead

to! %o nothing good& I will devour my heart and I will sleep badly before an important event. 'nd it

can have a negative impact on the meeting results.

Is the meeting really so scary, as my imagination captured by agitation draws it to me5 hat

e%actly I am afraid of5 I will not get fired in case of failure. $nd even if I get fired, I will find

another 9ob. In fact, work is not the most important thing in life. There is nothing to be afraid of.!

@eople idoli0e their emotions8 they are used to see them as some relentless fate, which can be

taken for granted without asking & why do I need it5! For e%ample, when you e%perience a severe

attack of anger, you do not ask hy!. "ubconsciously you believe that you should get angry,

because you feel that way.

*ou should destroy this unconscious belief. To do this, you should be well aware of how much

benefit and how much damage these emotions bring to you and surrounding persons.

onstantly ask yourself:

hy should I envy5 hat should I get, e%cept suffering5!

hy should I be la0y5 hat will it bring to me, e%cept works postponed for later5!

hy do I get involved into pointless disputes5 hat#s the point5 an I have something

from it, e%cept irritation and senselessly wasted time5 "hould I continue this absurd process5!

hy do I get angry5 /y anger does harm to me and to people around me. hat happens

if I yell at a person5 ill it help him understand his shortcomings better5 ill he treat me better5ill it help me be more fair and tolerant to him5!

hy I am afraid of something5 If it is dangerous for me, then I should take measures and

there is no point to be afraid of. $nd if there is no danger, then there is nothing to be afraid of at

all.!

$naly0e not only the emotions, which you are e%periencing right now, but also be aware of the

conse'uences of your past emotions. 7ow much suffering and spoiled relations did anger bring to

you.


16/21

7ow many missed opportunities did la0y bring to you. 7ow much spirit you wasted, because of

your constant worry5

+earn to accept negative emotions as obstacles in your life 9ourney, of which you can get rid, and

not as givenness that you cannot cope with.

Do not be afraid to ask yourself the 'uestions, hy and hats the point. This will help you

understand the role of negative emotions in your life and reali0e that these feelings do not lead to

positive results and, therefore, you do not need them.

f course, with the help of logic you can find out how many feelings of yours are meaningless. If

you analy0e every arising negative feeling, then you will inevitably come to the conclusion that

worrying about something is pointless. hy should you worry about the problems that you cannot

solve5 $nd if you can solve them, all the more reason not to worry at all4

Bnfortunately, only logic and analysis are not sufficient to control your emotions.

Feelings will still appear, no matter what you may think. (motion control is a comple% process.

>etting rid of negative attitudes, taking responsibility for emotions, relying on logic and use

knowledge about the emotion nature & are not enough. *ou should also act, use practices that

develop your prefrontal corte% and your skill of self)control. ;amely this we will discuss in the ne%t

section.

Part - Do

In this part of the article, I will list the applied methods of emotion control. $nd I will arrange them

in the following order: from fast, operational methods that allow controlling feelings in real time, to

methods that systematically develop your self)control at all times.


17/21

The latter methods are no less important, than the first ones.

$fter all, the emotion control is a comple% skill. There are no 'uick and safe ways, which can help

you pull yourself together in absolutely any situation8 therefore, you should constantly improve

your self)control.

1 Take 1; Breathing C%cles

3efore making any inconsiderable action & yelling at someone, getting involved into a pointless

argument & slowly breathe in and breathe out for ten times with the same duration. ount to

yourself the duration of tidal breathing.

3reathing should be slow and carried out with the help of the diaphragm. hen you are full of

emotions, you breathe often, your chest rises and falls. *ou should slow down your breathing and

move it to the diaphragm.

This e%ercise will help you de)stress and stop worrying. Do it before an important event or after it,

when you have to calm down and pull yourself together.

* Be 2ware o# +o,r Emotions

Instead of banishing negative emotions, accept them. It sounds a little bit parado%ical in the task

conte%t of getting rid of bad feelings. I will e%plain.

;o need to try to get distracted from e%periences and to focus your attention on something else.

Doing this, you simply 'uash your feelings, and do not get rid of them. Instead of this, when you

reali0e that you want to insult someone, simply direct your attention to this feeling.

Try to see what is going on in your head and in your body. *our breath accelerated, blood driven to

your head and pressure increased. *our mind is shrouded solely by thoughts of how bad is your

abuser, how much you hate him, how much you want to put him in his place, though earlier you

get along well and no such feeling ever occurred.

Keep track of your reaction, look inside you, accept your feelings, watch them, but do not get

involved in them4 nly then they will pass.

- Do ot Be 2#raid o# Emotional Discom#ort.


18/21

Do not be afraid of them4 (ndure them4 @erceive them as a slight pain that anyone can endure. The

unpleasant feelings are not a big deal at all.

Disregard all the thoughts that prevent you from acting, 9ust step over this short)term pain and

discomfort, it isn#t so difficult4

+et#s consider another situation. hat will happen to you, if you stop arguing with someone, let

him have his own opinion and stop convincing him5 It#s difficult to be done. *ou will feel strong

resistance, if you get involved in the dispute already. It#s like drug craving of a drug addict. This is

a destructive emotional craving. Don#t identify yourself with it4

$ffirm to yourself that the dispute will take you nowhere and endure the internal resistance, which

will soon pass.

0 2cce't 7ealit% as 4t 4s

I have already raised this 'uestion in the section about negative attitudes. 3ut I will dwell on this

here, because this is very important4 $cceptance is one of the main human virtues.

It consists in accepting things as they are. @eople are unfair, silly and cruel. *ou also happen to be

unfair, silly and cruel. It#s a fact of life that you cannot negate. $ll you have to do is to accept it.

/any people behave impolitely on the roads. It#s a fact of life, accept it.

*our colleagues think only of their career promotion and do not help you. It#s a fact of life, accept

it.

*ou are not always the person you want to be. It#s a fact of life, accept it.

$ttention4 $cceptance is not identical to blind submission in front of your and other people#s

weaknesses, which is e%pressed in the statement: I am who I am and I cannot help it.

$ccepting does not mean to lose heart and obediently accept what reality dictates you. *ou should

act, try to change and improve conditions of your life.

3ut you cannot affect everything, change everything and all you have to do is either feel endless

frustration about it, or accept certain things as facts of life and stop worrying about them.

f course, I insist on the second point.

2ct 2gainst +o,r Emotions

"uppose you want to be rude to someone. Do not hurry4 Think about where this will lead to5

Instead, simply smile and say something nice to the person. Bne%pectedly5 $gree.


19/21

This is a great way to take control of emotions. If you work off on somebody and start shouting,

then you will get nothing, e%cept frayed nerves.

3ut if you start behaving in the opposite way, then you will not bring the situation to a catastrophe,

you will contribute to preservation of your and others# emotional comfort and you will e%perience

some 9oy of positive emotions4 *ou will feel that you can control what earlier seemed to be

unmanageable. It#s an ama0ing feeling.

$cting against your emotions can also mean that you will do nothing, but simply ignore the

situation. For e%ample, not to get involved in a dispute, not to cause an affray, etc

3 (editate

There are a lot of different points and tips in the article. This one is the most important. /editation

is a very effective e%ercise that allows you to control your emotions. It allows you not only to get

rid of the unwanted feelings at some point in time, but also develops your ability to self)control.

In other words, regular practice of meditation makes you less dependent on emotions and allows

you to take control of them in the most diverse situations.

$ccording to studies, meditation increases the prefrontal gray matter volume. ;amely this

department is responsible for self)control and willpower about which I wrote in the first part of the

article.

/editation allows you to be aware of your emotions, notice your feelings when they first arise.

This practice makes a person more calm and balanced8 as a result, emotions cease to be so

uncontrollable.

"uch skills occur for a reason, not due to some magic. /editation is a self)control training, during

which you learn to understand your emotions, without getting involved in them. $s well as a runner

e%ercises in running, making daily 9ogs, the meditator e%ercises in self)control, when he learns to

control his attention while meditating, to keep track of his emotions and to stop them.

6ead the article:

= Be 2ware o# +o,r Condition

illpower and self)control highly dependent on your body state. If you are tired and you have little

strength, then it is much more difficult to control your emotions compared to those cases, when

you are in a good shape.


20/21


21/21

kindergarten2. Try to find the source of these states and to understand what your emotions are

saying.

If you feel some bitterness, because you treated your wife unfairly, then no need to drive the

feeling away without understanding it4 @erhaps, you should apologi0e5 r solve some relations#

problems5

Do not use the techni'ues of emotion control and meditation in particular as means of lulling your

conscience and way of escaping from problems.

Bse them to find your problems and solve them4 $fter all, these ways provide a lot of means for

this purpose4

Where to !tart Controlling Emotions@

This article is 'uite informative. In order not to confuse the reader by the abundance of information

and the methods listed, I would recommend starting with meditation. 6egular practice will lead you

to the conclusions, which I provided in this article, even though you will come back to this te%t no

longer.

From the second step of my self"development program , you can also get some practical self)

control e%ercises with which you should start.

The most important thing in emotion control is a constant watching over yourself, introspection andpractice4

If you constantly analy0e yourself, watch over yourself, try to control yourself, watch over the

process and make conclusions from it, then you will learn how to control your emotions, even if you

remember only C E of what I outlined in the article4
http://nperov.com/step-by-step-program/step-2-awareness-training/http://nperov.com/step-by-step-program/step-2-awareness-training/

Documents

How to Control Negative Emotions