http://meta4kids.com.au 1 Copyright 2007 Stuart Walter
How to Build Self-Confidence That Will Last a Lifetime
Words shape a childs self-image. Hurtful words, no matter
how unintended, can scar children for a lifetime just as
uplifting words can help them develop the self-confidence
they will need to succeed throughout their lives.
How you talk to and treat your child will have a lasting impact
on them. Constantly pointing out the negative about a child
how he doesnt clean up his room after playing, how she doesnt
keep up with you when youre walking fast, or how he doesnt
get perfect scores in school will result in your child having a
Every parent has to reprimand or to criticize their children to a point. Its natural to the
learning and to the growing process. However, be sure that you offer even more
praise than criticism. Praise lifts up children where criticism, even though it may not be
intended to do so, can often break them down, especially if thats all a child hears.
Seven Simple Ways to Instill Self-Confidence
Helping your child build self-confidence now is essential to how he or she copes with
life in the future, and its something thats fairly easy and wont disrupt your lives. In
fact, it will enhance both your life and your childs life.
Say I love you
Tell your children you love them often and, just as important, show your children how
much you love them through your actions. Kiss them after you tuck them in at night.
Hug them before they go to school. Be their biggest cheerleader and the safe place
they can turn when they need to talk or to vent.
http://meta4kids.com.au 2 Copyright 2007 Stuart Walter
Be positive when talking about your child
Always be positive when talking about your child, when he is within earshot, to family
and friends. Save the complaining for a time when your child is not around. Talking
negatively about children, especially to others, when they can hear can result in
embarrassment and shame and can damage their self-confidence.
Give your child responsibility
Everyone wants to feel needed. Children are no different. Give your child
responsibility in the house by assigning them chores that are age-appropriate. For
example, you may have your five-year-old clean off the dinner table and load the
dishes into the dishwasher. Or, your three-year-old may be charged with making sure
all the dirty clothes are in the laundry basket.
In addition to teaching your child responsibility, chores help them develop self-
confidence in knowing they can do a job and do it well.
Do not minimize or dismiss a childs feelings
A meme is making its rounds on social media that touches perfectly on this concept: If
you want your kids to tell you the important things when they are older, listen to them
when they are younger because when they are little everything is important.
Minimizing or dismissing a childs feelings can make him feel as though his feelings
arent important. Show interest in what your child has to say. What hes told you may
not seem like a big deal to you but if it wasnt a big deal to him he wouldnt have
brought it up.
Separate the action from your child
Children dont always listen nor do they always do what theyre supposed to do. That
doesnt make them bad. It makes them normal. However, if you constantly tell a child
that shes done something bad, shes going to start believing that she is a bad kid.
http://meta4kids.com.au 3 Copyright 2007 Stuart Walter
Be sure to separate the action from your child.
Maybe your child got mad and kicked you or
another family member. Instead of yelling at her
for being bad, say something like, Youre a
good kid and hitting is not nice or acceptable.
In other words, youre affirming that shes a
good kid, and that shes done a not-so-good
Create attainable goals
Kids who feel a sense of accomplishment build self-esteem. Encourage your childs
independence by creating attainable goals. You might encourage her to dress
herself, make her own bed, or put her night clothes on before bed. Praise her for a job
well done when she completes the task. She will feel a sense of accomplishment and
her self-confidence will grow stronger by knowing she can do what you have asked.
Nurture your childs sense of self-trust
Children often go straight to their parents when faced with a problem. Parents
naturally want to help their children. Let your child learn how to deal with problems on
her own. Listen to what she has to say and encourage her to come up with a solution.
A child who trusts her own judgment will grow into a self-confident adult.
Self-confidence and self-esteem arent concrete. Despite everything you do to
nurture your childs sense of self-confidence, he will have days when he doesnt feel
it. We all face cracks in our self-esteem and our self-confidence. Help your child
overcome those waves of emotion by reading The Ocean together, a story that helps
calm children when they are emotionally unsettled.
Just the surface of the ocean changes with the conditions around it so to children
are changed by conditions and our bodies are 80+% water.
http://meta4kids.com.au 4 Copyright 2007 Stuart Walter
About the Author
My name is Stuart Walter and I am a professionally trained
Clinical Hypnotherapist, I specialise in elite sports and business
performance. I work with people to maximise performance,
attitude and results. My clients include State, National,
Commonwealth and World Champions, within the walls of my
professional offices in Brisbane, Australia, many lives have been
However, it is as a father that I continue to experience the greatest pleasure in seeing
the enormous growth and development that occurs when children are provided with
the opportunity to release the endless potential and abilities that lie within. Having
been around Hypnotherapy and natural therapies all of my life (both my parents
were practitioners), I know the abilities we all have within us.
As a parent myself, I marvel each and every day at the growth and development of
my own son as he learns, lives, explores and evolves. He makes me laugh, he makes
me cry and leaves me speechless with his antics, knowledge and ability to live and
Creating champions is in my blood and I am pleased to be able to share my passion
and abilities with you in creating the path in life for your own little champions.
Creator of Meta4Kids.
A STORY TO SUPPORT SELF CONFIDENCE
AND SELF ESTEEM
Like your kids, the ocean is forever changing... different conditions, different seasons
and different days. Some days it is calm and peaceful, other days it is unsettled. Our
bodies are about 75% water. If, in times of change, your kids actions seem to be
emotionally unsettled, this story will calm them.