How to approach the UCAS Personal

Statement

A Model Answer?

• There is no ‘model’ Personal Statement. Every applicant is an individual, so every Personal Statement should be different.

• Not only should it be different, it must be different. UCAS uses anti-plagiarism software, and any similarity between two personal statements over 13% is likely to be detected. This includes statements from previous years.

• The Personal Statement is your opportunity to sell yourself to someone you have never met, but who has the power to offer you a place at a university.

• It is not simply a wordy CV. It is a chance to explain in your own words why you want to study a specific course.

• It is a chance to show someone how your mind works.

• It is an opportunity to identify your USP.

What is its purpose?

• Some Admissions Tutors see it as a vital piece of information to go alongside examination results and the School Reference. This can make it the deciding factor.

• Some Admissions Tutors are very dismissive of the Personal Statement. Some Admissions Tutors may not even see it.

• Oxbridge and those institutions which interview generally take a middle line.

• Either way, you don’t know what their position will be. This means you need to take it seriously. A badly written statement could be detrimental to your application.

How will it be viewed?

• 70/30 split between the academic and the extra-curricular.

• Evidence of wider reading is essential.

• Extra-curricular material should be relevant.

• Mention those interests and personal qualities which will make you stand out.

• There is no chance of you getting a place on the strengths of your extra-curricular interests alone.

What should it include?

• Enthusiasm for your subject

• Suitability for your chosen course

• Evidence of wider reading

• Individuality – What makes you stand out?

• Organisation of material

• Remember that content is more important than style

What are the essentials?

DO…

• Explain your plans for a gap year if you are applying for deferred entry.

• Be honest about medical conditions or learning difficulties (e.g. dyslexia)

• Mention relevant work experience• Refer to both subjects if applying for a joint or

combined honours course.• Explain the context of significant awards or

achievements• Keep a copy of your statement if you are likely to

be interviewed

What are the DOs and DON’Ts?

DON’T…

• Lie – You will be found out at interview

• Mention the irrelevant

• Repeat information available elsewhere on the application

• Sound utilitarian or mercenary

What are the do’s and don’ts?

• You need to answer two questions:1. What makes me an exceptional candidate for my chosen course?2. What makes me an exceptional candidate for Higher Education in general?

• Start with the reasons for choosing your course. Mention the course title early on.

• The first sentence should make a positive impression.

How and where should I start?

1. Rationale for the chosen course

2. Evidence of wider reading

3. Showing motivation beyond the classroom

4. Demonstrating life balance, including wider interest

How should I structure the statement?

• Avoiding start with ‘I…’ or ‘From an early age…’

• Avoid humour and gimmicks. The reader may not share your sense of humour.

• Opening quotations are overused and can sound clichéd.

How do I make an impression?

• Try and link to your opening statement, but don’t waste time repeating yourself.

• Try and demonstrate a commitment to your chosen vocation.

How should I end it?

• Use a spell-check, but avoid a thesaurus

• Be selective and prioritise your material

• Reflect upon what you do rather than describing it

• Edit and re-edit as necessary

• Ask for a brutally honest opinion

How do I ensure quality control?

• Examples 1 – 3 are taken from early drafts of Personal Statements, with the Final Referee’s criticism in italics.

• Examples 4 – 10 are instances of well-crafted paragraphs across a wide range of subjects which formed part of the final statement. None was a straight A student, and all of the students involved secured their first choice of university.

Sample statements

It would be an exaggeration to say that the study of Law and Criminology has been a long held ambition. However, as I have explored both subjects I have become increasingly aware that this is a discipline which appeals to me and is one in which I believe I will thrive. Through an ever growing interest and realisation of its profound importance in society it has captivated my mind.

I would avoid admitting this, as it lays you wide open to a charge of having made the decision to study Law on a whim. There must be a particular aspect of Law which has fuelled your interest in it as a career.

Example 1 – Law & Criminology

What is going wrong with the criminal justice system, in this country in particular, that causes almost 80% of criminals to re-offend after prison? What causes this mentality, the psychology that forces people into crime or causes people to commit crime? Is it the area they are brought up in? Is it the people they are brought up around? Or is it unexplainable to the point where correlation would be generalistic or offensive?

It is all very well to ask these questions, but I’m not sure that a Personal Statement is the best place in which to do it. Asking questions without offering any answers suggests that you either don’t know the answer or have little to offer.

Example 1 – Law & Criminology

Recent television programmes have brought into the public domain the difficulties experienced by children with varying degrees of Autism. The series has affected the way people view autism as a disorder, and in turn is helping people to understand that we are all different. The series aimed to encourage understand and acceptance of this disorder, and I feel it was achieved after following with great interest.

This is fine, but I would back it up with some reading. If your interest in your subject beyond the syllabus is limited to television, then it doesn’t elevate you any higher than the casual observer, whereas you need to sell yourself as an intelligent scholar who has a genuine interest in their subject. Anybody can watch a documentary on Hitler and the Nazis, but it doesn’t make them an excellent candidate for studying modern history.

Example 2 – Clinical Psychology

I found that confidence in yourself is the key to success, and with this comes great achievements in your life. I am a strong believer that life is there to be enjoyed and to do this you must ‘work hard, play hard’ and with this I aim to fulfil my potential and more.

I’m not convinced this adds to the overall quality of your statement. First, it’s too generic. By that I mean you could cut and paste it into any Sixth Former’s personal statement, no matter what undergraduate course they’re applying for. Second, it’s a little nauseating. It wouldn’t sound out of place on the X Factor.

Example 2 – Clinical Psychology

Physical Education can be described as ‘the formal inculcation of knowledge and values learned though the medium of physical activity’ – (Baily and Vamplew). It is a common misconception that physical activity is not an academic subject. In recent years this has attitude has evolved, as has the theoretical side.

While evidence of wider reading is of course important, I think you need to get rid of this. You don’t really follow it up, it remains disjointed from what follows, and it doesn’t add to the overall quality of your statement.

Example 3 – Sports Science

This sports degree will allow me to facilitate my knowledge of many subjects that interlink with Physical Education, and widen my knowledge as a person, furthering my future career prospects having studied this subject.

I think this needs to come out too. Admissions Tutors aren’t interested in what you will gain from the course. Rather they want to know what you will be able to offer them.

Example 3 – Sports Science

I sat captivated as I watched the share value of British Petroleum plummet on the computer screen. It was June 2010. I was on work experience at Charles Stanley Stockbrokers in London in the midst of the BP oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico. I was hooked by the impact of uncertainty on the financial markets and seeing how economic principles operated in real world scenarios. From this point onwards, I realised that economics was something I wished to pursue further. The relevance of economics to current affairs and its intrinsic importance to virtually every choice we make attracts me to the subject.

Example 4 – Economics (with French)

Ben is 7 years old. Until October of last year he was unable to multiply single figures together due to his learning difficulties. I showed him an easy way to do it. This is a skill he has mastered thanks to me, after his teachers had tried several methods, but without success. Ben was the first child to whom I made a genuine difference. There have been others since then. I hope there will be many more throughout my career as a primary school teacher.

Example 5a – Primary Teaching

Pupils always remember a good teacher. Being remembered in this way is how I intend to make a difference.

Example 5b – Primary Teaching

Biology fascinates me. In the 1970s the English elm Ulmus procera nearly became extinct. Modern botanical practices have allowed disease-resistant trees to be reproduced on an industrial scale, almost eradicating the danger of extinction. This entirely unnatural selection is at the forefront of contemporary scientific technology, and I wish to be a part of it.

My interest in German stems from a longstanding ambition to work in Europe. The European market uses tens of millions of tons of biomass per year as fuel to satisfy its demand. In Germany alone, there were 160 biomass power plants operating in 2006 that used mostly woody biomass at an estimated rate of 7 million to 8 million tons per year. There will always be an employment market for German speakers in this field. In April 2011 I completed two weeks work experience as a teaching assistant in a primary school in Münster. This involved teaching 7 to 8 year olds predominantly English but also Maths and Science. The experience was rewarding enough for me to arrange a second placement in April 2012.

Example 6 – Biology with German

History as the human story shaped by determined individuals has impressed upon me significantly. The legacy of those characters who forged their own movements is still very much in evidence today: Cameron’s Big Society is a modern-day Thatcherism repackaged for the twenty-first century; Berlusconi’s heavy-handed style of government and the corruption which accompanies it is a throwback to the Fascism of the 1920s and 30s; the Sarkozy-Merkel axis in Europe is reminiscent of the De Gaulle-Adenauer partnership which forged the Common Market. Kissinger argues in Diplomacy how the history of international relations is essentially the story of history repeating itself. His argument is a pertinent one.

Example 7 – History and Politics

My previous work experience placements should stand me in good stead for my choice of undergraduate course. For three years I have volunteered for SMASH (Southend Mencap and sporting heroes), a charity providing two hours a week of sporting relief for mentally and physically disabled adults. I also recently completed work experience with a local physiotherapist, with whom I travelled to Basildon Sports Village to observe and assist her work with some of the British Gymnastics squad. This has given me a privileged insight into the life and work of a physiotherapist and the techniques in rehabilitation of elite athletes.

Example 8 – Biomedical Science / Physiotherapy (Generic)

The economic impact of golf is staggering. Recent figures show that the golf industry grew by $14 billion per year from 2000 to 2005. Despite this unprecedented growth, however, the financial crisis of 2008 brought with it a new set of problems for the sport. While the upper tier of the game continues to attract global media attention and sponsorship, this top level appears to have become decoupled from the rest of the golf industry. Having piggy-backed on economic growth for a decade, it now needs to restructure. Austerity has hit Europe hard, to the extent that the ubiquitous weekend golf break is now frequently cancelled. Banks have withdrawn funding for new golf course developments in Ireland and Scandinavia. More importantly, there are increasingly fewer incentives for younger people to take up the game. Unused capacity on golf courses on both sides of the Atlantic points to a saturated market. The future looks uneasy. I want to be a part of reversing this trend.

Example 9 – Golf management

One area in which I have developed a particular interest is that of the difference in legal treatment between blacks and whites in twentieth century America. For example, it was revealed in Baldus and Woodworth’s Philadelphia Study that the risk of being sentenced to death was 4 times higher if the defendant was black. In the 1990s, a Jeffrey Pokorak study showed further disproportion in the US legal system as it was found that the majority of judges pronouncing the death penalty were almost entirely white men. Studies also showed that race was more likely to affect being sentenced to death than the likelihood of contracting heart disease from smoking. This theme is picked up in To Kill A Mockingbird, a novel which has made a profound impact on me. However, rather than being an inspirational character for me, I feel that Atticus Finch did little other than take up the case of one man, rather than try to change the status quo. It is this inequality in treatment of African Americans which has mainly inspired me to study law at university.

Example 10 – Law with ???

This led me to research the development of international law, and in particular, the problems faced by the prosecutors at Nuremburg in 1945. The principle of nullum crimen et nulla poena sine lege was guaranteed as long ago as the Magna Carta, though Sheldon Glueck argues in his 1944 study on War Criminals that to leave Nazi atrocities unpunished simply due to the absence of existing legislation would constitute a greater moral offence than to apply new laws retroactively.

Example 10 – Law with ???

The legal questions raised in studying ICT also contribute to my interest in law. The recent dispute between the Equality and Human Rights Commission and the Government over the way in which personal data is held and used is not an isolated incident. In the UK, Google have contravened the Data Protection Act by allowing its street view cars to collect personal data from private wireless networks, yet face no punishment or charges. The lenient approach to sentencing when crimes are committed by MNCs compared to the over-zealous reaction of magistrates in sentencing minor misdemeanours committed during this summer’s riots points to an inconsistent application of justice.

Example 10 – Law with ???