HOW I CAN WORK WITH HOSTILE COLLEAGUES!

Stress has many signs and symptoms to reveal during work. First thing to do is to look at the individuals reaction that comes out from each and every challenging situation. Our reaction determines the way of our thinking and our responses represent the kind of cognitive pattern we have.

There are many early and late signs of stress that one should be aware of, to work out in early phases. How? We all have a similar set of responses in defensive situations and we tend to somewhat repeat those behaviors in such situations. Through some of my own experiences; being a senior most working employee in a private working set-up, I have learnt and acquired various social skills to deal with difficult people. In every difficult-to-survive environment, the basic mistake that we all commit is forgetting about our own self-efficacy and confidence.

Some of the commonest behaviors lead us to ultimately think in anti-self way. This thought form is our main culprit of failure (to survive) in any situation. It engulfs our problem solving aptitude.

Following are some tactics to deal with self and consequently with people around:

1. Blaming oneself for bad outcome The habit of self-blame and guilt is lethal in larger working set-up as it prevents you from development and keeps you in stressful guilt all the time. It will also prevent one from utilizing positive feedback. In other words, feedbacks cannot be utilized in optimistic way. With emergence of positive framework of mind, negative feedbacks can be taken in the most constructive and useful way.

2. Trying to make others happy To find a wiser way, one has to decide between parties and in situations. Even a balanced decision in any conflict can disappoint either party. One has to find enough confidence within to bear the annoyance/rejection in working situations.

3. Resist the temptation of gossip or low talk - One has to prove about the decisions and choices, which they make to secure situations. Why do we have to prove anything? We tend to prove in order to consolidate others views about ourselves. Why do we want to consolidate? We do, because their reassurances give us strength of righteousness. By increasing volume of our followers we tend to boost our confidence. Why? It only happens when one feels his/her inner self as weak, guilt-ridden and also under fear of being abandoned by mass, being polarized and sidelined. To prevent from these background thoughts; we shape our attitudes to demand approval.

4. RationalizationsAvoid giving excessive reason on mistakes to self or to others. Acceptance is the best way to resort and happiness. Every person has variable characteristics to tackle situations. We are not multi-layered, all-in-one packages. We lack good qualities. We are deficient and faulty. The understanding of human limitations can prevent a person from harboring huge expectations.

5. Learn to ignoreThroughout our lives, we are made to attend, concentrate, listen and focus. This is the main reason that we fail to escape un-necessary comments, remarks or feedbacks. We are not able to un-attend the excessive (self-deprecating) contents in our environment. As a part of growth, we have to un-learn many assimilated (approved) behaviors of developmental span.

6. Monitor your thoughtsThe significant hallmark at any point would be the theme of thought content. It would guide us as where we are going and in which state we are! The initial manifestation of depression or stress will be cognitive errors over-generalization of negative consequences or events on positive outcomes or opportunities, selective inference too much focus on negative part of any situation.

7. Admitting mistakesAlthough, Its quite easy to embark upon a lecture to admit mistakes in front of others; but generally it needs a lot of guts. In a hostile environment its likely that people would hide their errors. This insidiously weakens our own self-confidence. As we cannot hide from ourselves, in turn unconsciously, we get hyper-vigilant or fearful from nave situations, reflecting our innermost insecurity to others.

8. Hobbies, hobbies and hobbiesWork, stress, arguments and deadlines seep our physical and mental energy. In order to re-fill reservoirs for continuous quality work, we need to charge up with desired or preferred activities. It supplies our personality core with jubilant effects of novelty, a new perspective of thought; and provides temporary cut-off from routine schedule.

1