Kira McConico is the publisher of “Be Encouraged”

Comments, suggestions and letters can be sent to

kmcconico@assignedtoencourage.com

February is notoriously known as the month of love. For those of us in love, coupled up or in a relationship this day brings so much anticipation and sometimes disappointment.

Much like every other holiday, Valentine’s Day is no exception to commercialization causing us to put monetary tag on things that generally have no dollar value, like LOVE.

This month’s publication features no Undercover Encourager, instead we solicited the help of a true die-hard romantic, who happens to be the true journalist in our family, Shemeka Renae.

At her younger sister’s request, Shemeka is our guest contributor for this month’s edition of BE Encouraged! While our love lives are opposite at the moment, her unique perspective of living single is a true testiment of her journey towards companionship.

All of our single readers will be pleased to gain inspiration from her personal accounts and her Biblical connections on the meaning of True Love.

Enjoy this reminder of what real love is all about and Be Encouraged with: “How A Man Loves a Woman: A throwback to true Love.”

Shemeka Renae, Guest ContributorShemeka’s love for writing is an innate gift which she attributes to a God talent. Writing poetry, short stories and research papers most of her life, Shemeka is truly an expert in journalism. Having earned a BS in Communication, she values the art of expression through the pen. We at Be Encouraged feel privileged to have her as a contributor for this month’s publication. To learn more about Shemeka Renae visit her on facebook at: http://www.facebook.com/shemeka.gantt

There are many amazing things in this world. Why my sister would ask me to write an article, to encourage people during the “month of love” is one of those things. Anyone that knows me is probably doing two things as they begin to read this article: shaking their head and filling with anticipation,waiting for punch lines. You have to have met me in one form or another to know that for me, dating and rela-tionships are plentiful and eluding at the same time.

How can that be? How can one have plenty of dating experiences and not capitalize on them— creating a relationship? The short answer is I am a mess. The long answer is I am a meeesssss. But, I haven’t given up because there is nothing more amazing than how a man loves a woman.

I had a co-worker tell me one day; as I com-plained about being over dating, sick of being disappointed, and tired of being a disappoint-ment; that I needed to stop complaining. He looked around our work space and said, “There are women on this floor that can’t even remem-ber the last time someone asked them out on a date.” I never complained again, at least not to

I have tried many approaches to dating. I made a list of the things he must be and have; you know important things like skin complexion and being left handed. I then threw out the list and accepted dates with men that weren’t tall enough, lived close enough or were right handed. After several fruitless endeavors, I went back to dating my ex, which was a toxic relationship on multiple levels but he was left handed and 6 feet and 2 inches (top priorities on my list). That ended just as it had the first couple of times we broke up. So, I went on blind dates and dates from dating websites and even face book. And then I tried the ultimate, I read a book about not dating.

I’m not sorry to report that I do not have an answer to the questions of how to successfully date, or if we should even be dating for that matter. Another amazing thing to me is the fact that I keep trying. You may know the anxiety that comes with the first dates: excited about meeting the person, figuring out what you are wearing, GPS’ing the meeting spot, praying he doesn’t try to kiss you too soon and hoping for the best but expecting the worse.

I have learned that you can have a really great date and that is all it will ever be, a great date. Everyone that you can converse with, that laughs at your jokes, that tells you, you have beautiful eyes, is not going to be your husband. I have learned that after 6 dates if I am still not comfortable or sure, it’s time to pull the plug. I have learned that I need a list and that is okay, because if he isn’t tall enough I won’t feel comfortable the entire evening. I have learned that if I want his attention, I have to give him mine- he has to know you are interested. I have learned that you have to be ready for whatever you ask, and truthfully I haven’t been ready.

It’s amazing to me that I have been dating and saying I want a relationship, I want a relationship, but I haven’t been ready to be an active participant in a relationship. I haven’t opened myself up to trust, love and relax. So, while I have done a lot of practicing, I really have been spinning my wheels. Why keep trying? Why keep accepting and going on dates? Why keep waiting? I found the answer in Proverbs 30:18-19: There are three things that amaze me- no, four things that I don’t understand: how an eagle glides through the sky, how a snake slithers on a rock, how a ship navigates the ocean, how a man loves a woman. (NLT)

What a wondrous, amazing thing… how a man loves a woman. This must be what drives me to continue to date, waiting for that love. This scripture helps me to not feel so vulnerable and discouraged. It lets me know that the thing I long to have is a natural feeling. It is a good thing and it is possible.

I read online somewhere that you should date with a purpose not for recre-ation. I paused and read this line over and over. It cautioned against devel-oping relationships with people who you know you could not marry for one reason or another. The article mentioned, like all articles and books on dating and relationships, 1 Cor. 13:4-7. We all know it... love is patient, love is kind, we’ve read it and said it so many times, the powerful guidelines of this scripture actually gets glossed over.

Is he/she these things? Does he/she behave in these manners? Equally important, am I patient, kind and keeping no record of wrongs? Am I prepared to trust, hope, and not be easily angered?

I encourage anyone dating or waiting to be led by God in the way you should be found or find your mate to pray, wait, read books and articles, chronicle your dating experiences, make list, throw away list, and date with purpose not for recreation.

In addition, I will try to limit my complaints and enjoy the process. I will not stop until I am amazed by how much I am loved by a man, made for me.

In your dating and waiting know that the amazing is waiting to happen for you too.

Be amazing, be amazed, and be encouraged.

Be Encouraged is a publication of Assigned to Encourage!™Design and layout provided courtesy of Integrity Designs

All written materials are the original work of the author. Copyright restricted. All rights reserved. Scripture is taken from the Holy Bible - various versions.

Kira McConico’s universal assignment is to deliver encouragement to the hopeless through her Assigned To Encourage! ™

Words are powerful and can be spoken into dark times and bring light to life's situations.

In addition, Kira is an inspirational speaker. Her target audience is young women ages 17-30. She frequently speaks at area schools, domestic violence shelters and other organizations to encourage young women to pursue their dreams no matter their past.

While her target audience is young women, the message of encourage-ment is for everyone!

For booking information visit: www.assignedtoencourage.com.