HOT SPOT Issue #324

8/6/2019 HOT SPOT Issue #324

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One Mans Opinion

Part IThis story is strange but true and even has a moral to it. I knowthats kind of out of the ordinary for me, but please bear with me andread on. Last week while riding back from Miami, I top a nap andhad a dream which I remembered vividly. I dreamt that it was 1968and I was working as a clerk in the mens department of Belks inHartsville, SC. I remembered that the clerk that was training me would go through the changedrawer at the end of the day and make change for dollars in his pocket or often just change coins. Iasked and he told me that he was taking the silver coins because one day they would be worth morethan their face value. I though about it and did the same for as much as I could afford. Years laterwhen the price of silver skyrocketed, thanks to the Hunt Brothers, I made a pretty good profit. I re-member dreaming who cool it would be if I had saved a 1951 quarter from the year I was born.

Now I dont know where this dream came from or why I remembered it, but I did. The next day, I re-peat, the next day, Tuesday, I received a 1951 silver quarter from a store, I do business with. Do DoDo Do (Twilight Zone Music). I was shocked and surprised. I looked it up and discovered that thequarter was worth $7.11. Needless to say, I was pleased that the mystical forces of the universe hadforewarned and rewarded me.

I place my magic quarter in a safe place and didnt give it much more thought until the followingTuesday when I thought, maybe Ill get another silver quarter today...wait for it, wait for it.I DIDget another silver quarter, from the same store. A 1964 Silver quarter in Extremely Fine Condition. Ittoo is worth over $7.00. No, Im NOT going to tell you the store. I go there every Tuesday to conductbusiness and I hope they have a supply of those quarters. If they do give me another, I plan on tell-

ing them what theyre really giving away.

Ron, wheres the moral of the story? OK, here it is. I, like a number of people save my change eve-ryday. Periodically, I roll it up, cash it in and buy myself something, usually a toy. But I neverchecked to see of there were silver coins in the mix. If they are, they could be worth 25 to 30 timestheir face value which would dramatically increase your savings. So check your change before, youcash them in, or... just give them to me.

Just, One Mans Opinion.Live Long and Prosper

Ronald A. Gilliard, Publisher


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Laughs

A lady is throwing a party for her granddaugh-ter, and had gone all out..... a caterer, band, anda hired clown. Just before the party started, twobums showed up looking for a handout. Feeling

sorry for the bums, the woman told them thatshe would give them a meal if they would helpchop some wood for her out back. Gratefully,they headed to the rear of the house.

The guests arrived, and all was going well withthe children having a wonderful time. But theclown hadn't shown up. After a half an hour, theclown finally called to report that he was stuckin traffic, and would probably not make theparty at all.

The woman was very disappointed and unsuc-cessfully tried to entertain the children herself.She happened to look out the window and sawone of the bums doing cartwheels across thelawn. She watched in awe as he swung from treebranches, did midair flips, and leaped high in theair.

She spoke to the other bum and said, "What

your friend is doing is absolutely marvelous. Ihave never seen such a thing. Do you think yourfriend would consider repeating this perform-ance for the children at the party? I would payhim $100!"

The other bum says, "Well, I dunno. Let me askhim. HEY WILLIE! FOR $100, WOULD YOUCHOP OFF ANOTHER TOE?"

Laughs

It was the first day of school, after sum-mer vacations and time for me to pick upthe children in my school bus and takethem home again. After I had made the

complete run that afternoon, one littleboy remained on the bus.

Thinking he had simply missed his stop,I started driving slowly back through theneighborhood and asked him to be sureto let me know if any of the houses orpeople looked familiar. The boy sat in

his seat contentedly and shook his headwhenever I asked him if he recognized aperson or place.

After the second unsuccessful tour of thearea, I started back to the school to askfor his address. When we arrived, thechild got off the bus and started walkingaway. "Wait!" I called. "We have to goinside and find out where you live."

"I live right there," he said, pointing to ahouse across the street. "I just alwayswanted to ride in a school bus."

Website: Facebook.com Ronald Gilliard

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Laughs

A man and woman where on their honeymoon after along and very happy courtship. On their honeymoon,they decide to take their horses through the beautifulmountain passes of Europe. As the horses were cross-ing a small stream, the woman's horse mis-steps andjostles the man's wife. Once across the stream, theman dismounts, walks over to the horse, and staresinto its eyes. Finally, he states, "That's one." The manremounts his horse and they continue their ride.

A bit further down the path, the woman's horse stum-bles when stepping over a fallen tree. The man dis-mounts, stares the horse in the eyes, and boldlystates, "That's two!" He returns to his saddle and theymove on.

As the afternoon sun began to set, the woman's horseonce again lost its footing on a mossy slope. The mandismounts, moves to the woman's horse, and helpshis wife out of the saddle the man. Moving to the

front of the horse he stares it in the eyes and firmlysays, "That's three," removes a pistol from his vest,and shoots the horse dead.

The woman, quite upset at seeing the beautiful horsekilled, says to her husband, "That's terrible, whywould you do such a thing!"

The man stares at his wife and firmly says, "That'sone!"

Laughs

Mother Teresa died and went to heaven. God greetedher at the Pearly Gates. "Be thou hungry, MotherTeresa?" asked God.

"I could eat," Mother Teresa replied.

So God opened a can of tuna and reached for a chunkof rye bread and they began to share it. While eatingthis humble meal, Mother Teresa looked down into

Hell and saw the inhabitants devouring huge steaks,lobsters, pheasants, and pastries. Curious, but deeplytrusting, she remained quiet.

The next day God again invited her to join him for ameal. Again, it was tuna and rye bread. Once again,Mother Teresa could see the denizens of Hell enjoy-ing lamb, turkey, venison, and delicious desserts. Stillshe said nothing.

The following day, mealtime arrived and another can

of tuna was opened. She couldn't contain herself anylonger. Meekly, she asked, "God, I am grateful to bein heaven with you as a reward for the pious, obedi-ent life I led. But here in heaven all I get to eat is tunaand a piece of rye bread and in the Other Place theyeat like emperors and kings! I just don't understandit..."

God sighed. "Let's be honest Teresa," He said, "forjust two people, it doesn't pay to cook."


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AROUND


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TOWN


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Continued

An hour later, the cardinals were all aroundthe Pope asking him what happened. ThePope said: "First I held up three fingers torepresent the Trinity. He responded by hold-

ing up one finger to remind me that there wasstill one God common to both our religions.Then I waved my finger around me to showhim that God was all around us. He re-sponded by pointing to the ground and stamp-ing on it, showing that God was also righthere with us. I pulled out the wine and thewafer to show that God absolves us from oursins. He pulled out an apple, reminding me ofthe first sin. He had an answer for everything.

What could I do?"

Meanwhile, the Muslim community hadcrowded around the Mullah in total astonish-ment. "What happened?" they asked. "Well,"said the Mullah, "First he said to me that weMuslims had three days to leave Jerusalem. Itold him up yours. Then he told me that thiswhole city would be cleared of Muslims. I

said none of us leaving this land!"

"And then?" asked a woman.

"He took out his lunch and I took out mine,"said the Mullah.

Laughs

Back ten centuries ago, the Pope decided thatall the Muslims had to leave Jerusalem. Natu-rally there was a big uproar from the Muslimcommunity. So the Pope made a deal. Hewould have a religious debate with a memberof the Muslim community. If the Muslim wonthe debate, all the Muslims could stay. If thePope won, all the Muslims would have toleave.

The Muslims realized that they had no choice.They looked around for a champion whocould defend their faith, but no one wanted tovolunteer. It was too risky. But they finally

picked their representative, an old Mullahwho unknowingly agreed without knowingwhat he was getting himself into. He agreedonly on the condition that neither side be al-lowed to talk but communicate by miming.The pope agreed.

The day of the great debate came. The Mullahand the Pope sat opposite each other for a fullminute before the Pope raised his hand andshowed three fingers. The Mullah lookedback at him and raised his middle finger..

The Pope waved his fingers in a circle aroundhis head. Mullah Nasruddin pointed to theground and stamped his foot.

The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass ofwine. Mullah pulled out an apple. The Pope

stood up and said, 'I give up. This man is toogood. The Muslims can stay.'

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Laughs

Three tourists climbed up the towerwith London's Big Ben and decidedto throw their watches off the top,run down the stairs and try to catchthem before they hit the ground.

The first tourist threw his watch butheard it crash before the had takenthree steps. The second threw hiswatch and made only two steps be-fore hearing his watch shatter.

The third tourist threw his watch offthe tower, went down the stairs,bought a snack at a shop up thestreet and walked slowly back toBig Ben in time to catch the watch.

"How did you do that?" asked oneof his friends.

"My watch is 30 minutes slow."


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SUDOKU

The rules of Sudoku are simple. Enterdigits from 1 to 9 into the

blank spaces. Every row must containone of each digit. So must

every column, as must every 3x3square. Each Sudoku has a

unique solution that can be reachedlogically without guessing.

The Solution is at the end of the Book.No Peeking.

HOT SPOT MAZE


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Sudoku Solution

Laughs

A woman from the most southern part ofSouth Carolina goes into the local news-paper office to see that the obituary forher recently deceased husband is written.

The obit editor informs her that the feefor the obituary is a dollar per word. Shepauses, reflects and then says, "Well,then, just let it read, 'Billy Bob died'."

Amused at the woman's thrift, the editorsays, "Sorry ma'am there is a seven word

minimum on all obituaries." A little flus-tered, she thinks things over and replies,"In that case, let it read,

'Billy Bob died - Red truck for sale'.

Laughs

It was last Wednesday night, and I was sitting in my

room watching television when the phone rang.

"Hello?" I said. A girl's voice came over the line.

"Can I speak to Ben, please?" I live by myself, and

my name definitely is not Ben. It was probably a

wrong number and I was bored. I replied, "I'm sorry,he's not in right now. Can I take a message?"

"Do you know what time he'll be back?" she re-

sponded.

"I think he said he'd be home around 10:00."

Silence on the other end... a confused silence.

"Is this Steve?"

My name isn't Steve, either. This was definitely a

wrong number.

So I replied, "Yes, it is. Do you want to leave a mes-sage for Ben?"

"Well... he said he would be home tonight and asked

me to call him," she said in a slightly irritated voice.

I replied, "Well, he went out with Karen about an

hour ago, and said that he would be back at 10:00."

A shocked voice now: "Who's Karen?!"

"The girl he went out with."

"I know that! I mean... who is she?"

"I don't know her last name. Look, do you want meto leave a message for Ben?"

"Yes... please do. Tell him to call me when he gets

home."

She was sounding pretty irate at this point, and I

could hear her temper flaring. "I sure will. Is this

Jennifer?"

She exploded, "Who's Jennifer?"

Apparently she wasn't.

"Well... he's going out with Jennifer at 10:00. Ithought you were her. Sorry... it was an honest mis-

take."

"Ben's the one that's made the mistake! Tell him that

Alice called him and the she's very upset and that I

would like him to call me as soon as he gets home."

I smiled and said, "Okay, I will... but Becky isn't go-

ing to like this..."

-- Click


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1998-2011


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HOT SPOT Issue #324