HOOKED ON HAPPINESS

A New Musicial

Words by Tom Attea

Copyright (c)2019

Contact informationTom Attea8 Rowledge Pond RoadNewtown, CT 06482tattea@gmail.com917.647.4321

CHARACTERS

Kim, co-host of show and high school studentEric, co-host and high school studentMs. Holly Carlson, drama teacherRod, high school studentSue, high school studentOther class membersAudience members, can be voices from off stage

Settings: Ocean beach, classroom, high-school stage

Time: The present

SONGS

HOOKED ON HAPPINESSTHE WORLD’S ONLY WAIT-AND-SEE EMERGENCYLOVE IN AN UNCERTAIN TIMEHOW HELLISH HOT DOES IT HAVE TO GET?THE PROPER ATTITUDE IS GRATITUDECELEBRATIONHOW MUCH CAN YOU LOVE?THE BIGGEST DEAL OF ALLTHE MOTHER EARTH BLUESFAITH IN LIFE ON EARTHWE ARE THE ANIMALSGIVING UP MEAT TOUT DE SUITEREVERE THE BIOSPHEREPLANT A TREE FOR MERELIANCE ON SCIENCEPOOR LITTLE PLANETTHE BURNING QUESTIONREPRISE

ACT ONE

SCENE ONE

Beach at the ocean. Eric andKim, two seniors in highschool, are lying on loungechairs. Both have bottles ofwater.

ERICtakes sip of water( )

Hot enough for you?

KIMI'm boiling.

ERICIf it gets any hotter, the ocean may start boiling. Doesn'tseem like the responsible way to cook fish.

KIMJust remember, Eric, according to the current White House,humans have nothing to do with global warming, if there issuch a thing as global warming.

ERICRight. Gives a new meaning to a scorched earth policy.Meanwhile, somewhere in Alaska another polar bear just fellthrough the ice.

holds up plastic(bottle)

Maybe we shouldn't even be drinking out of these things.Think how many fish out there are eating plastic.

KIMYou're right. But then so are we. I wonder how much micro-plastic we have in our bodies?

ERICWhat's it matter, Kim? What we know is, it's there.

KIMI have a reusable plastic bottle. Maybe I should blow offthe dust. I can buy you one, too.

ERICThanks. Seems like the least we can do. Just think. Ifglobal warming keeps going the way it is, when we reach theprime of our lives, we could be like prime steaks on agrill.

KIMMind if we change the subject? I'm getting overheated justthinking about it.

takes a sip of water( )

ERICWhat do you want to talk about?

KIMOh, I don't know, Eric. How about what we're going to do forour senior-class drama project? Remember, we're supposed tobe thinking about it over the weekend. I don't know aboutyou, but I'm not very excited about the choices. I mean, Iknow they're both theater classics but you'd think we coulddo something more relevant to our lives than Hello, Dolly.

ERICYou'd think. I'm not that excited about Our Town, either.How about you, Kim?

KIMIt's a nice story. But, Jeez, here we are, wondering if theearth is going to be habitable when we grow up, not tomention what it's going to be like for our kids. And thosetwo shows are the only choices?

ERICWell, what good's it do to get upset about it? You and Ican't do much about it.

KIMI'm surprised you'd say that, Eric. Think how many kids ourage are demonstrating about ...

holds up hands to(indicate quotationmarks)

"climate change," like the members of the Sunrise Movementand how they're fighting for the Green New Deal.

ERICTrue. But until a majority of adults get with the program,how much influence can people our age have? I mean, here weare, being taught about life, liberty, and the pursuit ofhappiness, and there they are, thinking about life, liberty,and the pursuit of misery. I don't know about your parents,but about all mine do is sit in front of the TV and grooveon how terrible things are.

KIMMine, too. Only my parents, much as I love them, are evenscarier.

2.

ERICWhat can be scarier than being hooked on misery?

KIMWell, as you know, they're really religious, I mean, whatthey think is really religious. They can't wait for the "EndTimes," when we all die, the sinners go to hell, andfaithful ascend into heaven. You'd think religion would tellthem, if they want to earn another life, they should takecare of this life first.

ERICYou'd think. Anyway, it doesn't seem as if we can depend onbillions of adults to rush to the rescue of the planet.

KIMUnfortunately, that seems to be the case. Hey, I have anidea.

ERICWhat?

KIMHow about we suggest to Ms. Carlson that we create a showabout the real challenges we face?

ERICLike ...

fans face with cap( )... global warming?

KIMWhy not?

ERICAwesome! But how can we make that entertaining?

KIMI don't know. Maybe we do something bigger than the usualdemonstrations about it.

ERICWhat could be bigger than what they're about?

KIMWell, what about if, besides demanding that we care aboutthe future of the planet, we try to present reasons to careabout it? I mean, how much can you care if you're hooked onmisery and can't wait for the end of the world?

ERICThat's deep, my love. But how do you think kind of subjectmatter would affect our parents?

3.

KIMFrankly, I'm concerned. But I also know how their currentstate of mind isn't suddenly going to inspire them to committo caring about this life with anything like religious zeal.

ERICTrue. Maybe we should reconsider the idea.

KIMIt wouldn't be right. Hey, I have it! What if we call theshow the opposite of what both our parents are hooked on? Imean, Hooked on Happiness?

ERICSounds interesting. The question is, do you think Ms.Carlson would let us do our own show?

KIMLet's talk it over with the rest of the drama class. Ifthey're in, we can ask her. All she can say is no.

ERICSounds like a plan.

KIMGee, a different kind of feeling just came over me. Now whenI look at the ocean, I don't feel like a threat. I feel likea friend and,like,kind of sacred.

ERICYeah, interesting. Like maybe I'm an instrument for good.So let's not disappoint the ocean.

KIMRight. Let's let's get to it. I'm also already ready to getout of this heat. What do you say?

ERICYep. At least, we can hide out in air conditioning.

KIMSure. Until demand crashes the power grid.

SCENE 2

Classroom. Ms. Carlson is at thefront of the class. Students inchairs.

MS. CARLSONOK. Can I see a show of hands? How many of you decided yoursenior drama project should be Hello, Dolly?

4.

No hands go up.

MS. CARLSON (CONT'D)All right. Then I guess we have a unanimous decision. We'lldo Our Town. Correct?

Still no hands go up.

MS. CARLSONWell, have we decided not to vote?

Kim puts up her hand.

MS. CARLSONpoints to her( )

Yes, Kim?

KIMWell, we've all been talking. And we decided we want to puton our own show.

MS. CARLSONWell, of course, you do. That's why I gave you a choice.

KIMI mean, we want to create our own original show.

MS. CARLSONMind telling me what kind of show?

KIMYou've heard about the Sunrise Movement and Zero Hour?

MS. CARLSONYes, of course.

KIMWell, we want the show to be our contribution.

MS. CARLSONThat's very commendable, Kim. May I ask who's going to writethe show?

KIMWe want to give it a try.

MS. CARLSONBut you're not professional playwrights.

KIMWe know that. All we can say is, it will be as good as wecan make it.

5.

MS. CARLSONAnd how good do you suppose that will be?

ERICWe all talked about it and decided we can't know until wetry.

KIMThink of it this way, Ms. Carlson. If 16-year-old GretaThunberg could sail across the Atlantic to demonstrateagainst climate change, we should at least be able to do ashow about it. You know what she said at the UN aboutinaction on it: "How dare you! You have stolen my dreams andmy childhood with your empty words."

MS. CARLSONAll right. Then let me ask the class a question. How many ofyou would like to make the attempt?

All the hands go up.

MS. CARLSONWell, I guess that settles it.

to Kim( )Do you have a title yet?

KIMYes, it's called Hooked on Happiness.

MS. CARLSONOK. But, if you don't mind my saying so, that doesn't soundas serious as your subject matter.

ERICIt has a really deep meaning. We want a happy future, butwho can be happy dealing with a mass extinction?

KIMThe threat is truly hanging over all our lives. Think of thegroup called the Extinction Rebellion.

MS. CARLSONI'll tell you what? I'll give you two weeks to get startedon it. Then I'll decide if it's looking like something thatcould be stageworthy.

ERICTwo weeks? How much can we do by then?

MS. CARLSONThis is already July. If what you have looks at allpromising, you can have the rest of this month, plus August

(MORE)

6.

and September to finish it. I know it's not a lot. But we doMS. CARLSON (cont'd)

have to allow time for rehearsals. Fair enough?

CLASSOK. Sure. All right. We'll give it a try.

SCENE 3

Classroom. Only students. Ms.Carlson is absent. Kim and Eric atdesk. Eric has a baseball hat,which he's holding upside down.

ERICThanks for all your song ideas. Kim will now read them andwe'll vote on the winners.

KIMFirst, the title song. I think we all agree on what thatshould be. Hooked on Happiness?

CLASSThat's a given. Yeah. Go on.

KIMOK. And the next song idea is ...

takes piece of paper(out of Eric's hat;reads)

... How ...embarrassed; to Eric( )

You better read this one.

ERICOK. Why?

takes paper;looks( )Oh, I get it. Here it is, gang.

reads( )"How Fuckin' Hot Does It Have To Get?"

to class( )Can we use that kind of language?

RODWhat do you mean? Our lives at at stake, the whole damnplanet is at stake, and you're worried about a fucking curseword?

ERICI'm thinking about Ms. Carlson. We do need her approval.

KIMI'd rather not piss off our parents unnecessarily. You knowhow conservative most of them are.

7.

SUEI think Rod is right. If now isn't the time to pull out allthe stops, when is?

Class voices broad agreement.

KIMOK, how about this? Let's write the songs the majority votesto do and see where we come out.

RODGreat! I can go for that!

CLASStogether, fist pumps( )

OK! Right on! Next song idea!

KIMYou got it!

reaches into hat( )Oh, I love this one. "The Other Animals." Lots of funstaging possibilities. Are we all good with it?

SUESounds like a blast.

RODNext?

SCENE 4

Classroom. Ms. Carlson with script.

MS. CARLSONFirst, let me give you the good news. I have to say, you'vegotten off to an admirable start. I like the directionyou're going in.

Class reacts positively.

Now, for the bad news. And I think you know what I'mreferring to. Can we please edit out the hot-button words?

RODWhy? If now isn't the time for all the fury we can put intowords, when will it be? When it's too late? Besides, whatare curse words? Just sounds in the air. But, at least, theyhave shock value.

MS. CARLSONI'm not thinking so much about myself as I am about yourparents. But let's go past the "F word" for a moment and

(MORE)

8.

consider what some of your parents will call "taking theMS. CARLSON (cont'd)

name of the Lord in vain"?

JANI'm sure we all love our parents. But a lot of them need awake-up call, so they get off their butts and do somethingabout the problem.

SUEActually, we need to get them mad as hell.

MS. CARLSONIf you edit out the curse words, I'll give you permission todo the show.

Class rebels.

MS. CARLSON (CONT'D)Let me put it another way. If I give you permission toinclude whatever you want, next year I may not be here.

RODWe'll go to the wall for you. Right, class?

CLASSWe'll go to the wall for you! Count on it! You bet!

MS. CARLSONThank you. I don't know how much good any of that will do.Many of your parents are evangelicals. What will they think?

KIMI've thought about it a lot, and I think it's good to givethem positive things to think about that might get them tosee things differently.

MS. CARLSONTell you what. Make one change and I'll take it up with theprincipal. It's a suggestion that, I think, works betterwith the meaning. Rod, how about "How hellish hot does ithave to get?"

RODI'll think about it.

MS. CARLSONFair enough. I need to speak with Mr. Grayson first. But, asfar as I'm concerned, fire away!

Class cheers.

9.

SCENE 5

The show. Theater. Ms. Carlson onstage.

MS. CARLSONGood evening. As you know, I'm Holly Carlson, the head ofthe drama department. I'd like to welcome you to this year'ssenior class presentation. You may have heard that we'regoing to depart from tradition. The class has requestedpermission to write their own show. And I think theuncertain future, the, if you will, existential threat, theyface due to climate change justifies their request. I shouldpreface the show by saying that their feelings about thesubject are quite intense. Since the show is an opportunityfor the class to express itself creatively, I trust you'llunderstand why they've been allowed to do it in their ownwords. To help things along, they've pointed out a quotationfrom a congresswoman they admire who's an advocate of TheGreen New Deal,Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, whosaid, "I'll be damned if the same politicians who refused toact then are going to try to come back today and say we needa middle-of-the-road approach to save our lives." And now,the senior class of Ridgewood High proudly presents theiroriginal new musical, Hooked on Happiness! Take it away,thespians!

He exits, as music begins. Thenclass comes dancing out, singing.

Song: HOOKED ON HAPPINESS!

CLASS MEMBERSsinging and dancing( )

HOOKED ON HAPPINESS,WE'RE HOOKED ON HAPPINESS --JUST LIKE A FISHHOOKED ON A LURETHAT IT CAN'T SHAKEAT THE END OF A LINEIT JUST CAN'T BREAK.

OH, YEAH, HOOKED ON HAPPINESSWE'RE HOOKED ON HAPPINESS --JUST LIKE A KIDHOOKED ON A RAINBOW,THE HOPEFUL SIGHTTHAT TELLS THE CHILDLIFE CAN WORK OUT RIGHT.

GOTTA BE THAT WAY,BECAUSE TODAY LOTS OF ADULTS

(MORE)

10.

SEEM HOOKED ON MISERY,CLASS MEMBERS (cont'd)

HOOKED ON MISERY,GLUED TO BAD NEWSAND GROOVIN' ON DEATH,HOPIN' FOR END TIMES,AND HEADIN' FOR HEAVEN,THE PROBLEM IS,GEE, WHIZ,ALL THAT SORROWCAN STOP EM' FROM CARIN'ABOUT TOMORROW!CAN STOP 'EM FROM CARIN'ENOUGH ABOUT TOMORROW!

HOOKED ON HAPPINESS,HOOKED ON HAPPINESS,WE'RE ALL HOOKED ON HAPPINESS --AND DETERMINED TO KEEPTHE EARTH, OUR HOME,OUR HOME IN SPACEA HAPPY PLACE --THE HAPPY PLACE,IT OUGHT TO BE,AND DESERVES TO BE.HAPPY FOREVER,HAPPY FOREVER!TRULY HAPPY FOREVER AND EVER!

Kim and Eric, serving as co-hosts.

KIMThank you. Are we all hooked on happiness yet? Justremember -- a fish can't be happy in hot water, a bird can'tbe happy in dirty air, a bear can't be happy in a deadforest, and people can't be happy in an environment that'scollapsing beyond our control. Now, in case we singsomething you disagree with --

ERIC-- or may already disagree with --

KIM-- we've decided to put this song second. It demonstratesthe insane situation we're all facing. Many locations onearth have already heated up by 2 degrees Celsius or more. That's the amount of warming scientists consider a red lineif we're going to avoid a catastrophe. Obviously, we need acooler planet. Yet what are we doing about it? So the songis aptly titled "The World's Only Wait-And-See Emergency."

ERICto band( )

Hit it!

11.

Music starts

CLASS MEMBERSsing( )

WHOEVER HEARDOF SOMETHING SO ABSURDAS A WAIT-AND-SEEEMERGENCY?

WE'VE GOT THE BIGGEST CALAMITYIN HUMAN HISTORYYET IT SEEMS TO BEA WAIT AND SEEEMERGENCY,THE WORLD'S ONLY WAIT AND SEEEMERGENCY.

IF YOUR HOUSE IS ON FIRE,DO YOU WATCH TVWHILE YOU WAIT TO EXPIRE?

IF YOUR HOME STARTS TO FLOOD,DO YOU THINK YOU'D FLEE,OR JUST PLAY IN THE MUD?

AND WHAT ABOUT A GAS LEAK?WOULD YOU CUT THE SUPPLYRIGHT AWAY OR NEXT WEEK?

YET WE'VE GOT THE BIGGEST CALAMITYIN HUMAN HISTORYBUT IT SEEMS TO BEA WAIT-AND-SEEEMERGENCY,THE WORLD'S ONLY WAIT AND SEEEMERGENCY!

ERICTotally crazy, right?

KIMAs wacky as it gets. I mean, it even influences how youthink about love. Which brings us to our next song, called"Love in an Uncertain Time."

Song: LOVE IN AN UNCERTAIN TIME. Duet, Kim and Eric.

KIMWHEN YOU'RE UNCERTAIN ABOUT TOMORROWAND YOU WONDER IF IT WILL BRING ONLY SORROW ...

ERIC... WHEN YOU WALK WITH SOMEONE ALONG THE BEACH

12.

AND A LIFETIME TOGETHER SEEMS OUT OF REACH ...

KIM & ERIC... YOU'RE LEARNING ABOUT LOVE IN AN UNCERTAIN TIME,WELCOME TO LOVE IN AN UNCERTAIN TIME.

ERICWHEN YOU TAKE SOMEONE IN YOUR ARMS TO DANCEAND BEGIN TO THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE A CHANCE ...

KIM... TO GROW TOGETHER AND FIND LIFELONG LOVE,BUT THEN ASK YOURSELF, "WHAT AM I THINKING OF?"...

KIM & ERICYOU'RE DEALING WITH LOVE IN AN UNCERTAIN TIME.WELCOME TO LOVE IN AN UNCERTAIN TIME.

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO FALL IN LOVEIN AN UNCERTAIN TIME --A TIME WHEN POETS MAY CEASE TO RHYMEAND NO ONE CAN EVEN KNOW HOW LONGTHERE WILL BE SUCH THINGS AS A LOVE SONG?AND HOW DOES IT FEEL WHEN NO ONE YOU HOLDIN YOUR ARMS MAY EVEN HAVE TIME TO GROW OLD?YES, HOW DOES IT FEEL FALL IN LOVEIN AN UNCERTAIN TIME,HOW DOES IT FEEL?

KIMWHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THE DAY YOU'LL MARRY,BUT KNOW THE FUTURE SEEMS KIND OF SCARY ...

ERICAND IF YOU TALK ABOUT HAVING KIDS,BUT KNOW THE WHOLE CLIMATE MAY HIT THE SKIDS ...

KIM & ERICYOU'RE FACED WITH LOVE IN AN UNCERTAIN TIME,WELCOME TO LOVE IN AN UNCERTAIN TIME.

KIMYep, that's pretty much what it's like. So is everybody herehoping we all don't die from climate change? That's the mainthing to agree about.

ERICNow, here's a hot number. Warning to the adults in theaudience: some of the language is as hot as the subject.

Rap beat. Song: HOW HOT DOES IT HAVE TO GET?"

13.

Rap beat. Song: HOW HOT DOES ITHAVE TO GET?"

CLASS MEMBERSraps( )

LISTEN UP AND TUNE US INBEFORE THE TEMPERATURES RISEAND ALL THE GLACIERS DOWNSIZESO MUCH TO TRAVEL WE HAVE TO SWIM.

HOW HELLISH HOT DOES IT HAVE TO GET,AND HOW FUCKING MUCH DO YOU HAVE TO SWEATBEFORE YOU'RE ALARMED ENOUGH TO DEMANDTHE NEW LAWS WE NEED IN EVERY LAND?

HOW HELLISH HOT DOES IT HAVE TO GETAND HOW FUCKING MUCH DO YOU HAVE TO SWEAT?DO YOU PLAN TO WAIT UNTIL IT'S SO HOTYOU FEEL LIKE A CHICKEN IN A POT?

AND PLEASE EXCUSETHE WORDS WE USE.THEY EXPRESS HOW MUCH WE CAREAND THEY'RE REALLY JUST SOUNDS IN THE AIR.

AND WHAT'S IT MATTER HOW WE SAYWAKE UP AND GET OFF YOUR ASSWHEN PEOPLE ARE DROWNING EN MASSAND FEARING A SELF-CAUSED DOOMSDAY?

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE SUN IS CAPABLE OF?EVERY DAY IT HEATS THE MOON ABOVETWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY DEGREES,BUT COMPARED TO VENUS AND MERCURY,WHERE THE TEMPS GO OVER EIGHT HUNDRED DEGREES,THE TEMPS ON THE MOON SEEM LIKE A DEEP FREEZE.

WILL THE USUAL CHANGE OF SEASONSAND ALL THE LOVELY REASONSWE CHERISH THEM -- THE BLUE SKIESAND GREEN FIELDS THAT INVITE OUR EYES,AND THE WATER THAT NOURISHES ALL WE SEEALL JUST BECOME A MEMORY?

(spoken)COME ON, PEOPLE!

sing( )HOW HELLISH HOT DOES IT HAVE TO GETAND HOW FUCKING MUCH DO YOU HAVE TO SWEAT?WILL FUTURE GENERATIONS CURSEUS FOR PUTTING OUR PARADISE IN A HEARSE?MUST FUTURE GENERATIONS CURSEUS FOR PUTTING OUR PARADISE IN A HEARSE?

14.

ERICAll right. Heavy stuff! Now here's a rap song we did, called"The Proper Attitude is Gratitude."

KIMto class( )

Let's go for it!

Rap beat starts.

CLASS MEMBERSraps( )

WE'RE PROUD TO SAY OUR SHOW'S ONLY PARTOF THE PUSH FOR CHANGES YOUNG PEOPLE DEMAND,THE INTELLIGENT CHANGES THAT GOTTA STARTALL ACROSS THE EARTH AND THIS GREAT LAND.

NOW, SOME OF YOU MIGHT BE UPSET,SOME OF YOU ARE BOUND TO REGRETTHAT WE'RE PULLIN' OUT ALL THE STOPS,YEAH, PULLIN' OUT ALL OF THE STOPS,USING WORDS AND THOUGHTS THAT ARE OVER THE TOPOF WHAT YOU'D LIKE YOUR CHILDREN TO SAY.SO WE'RE RECOMMENDIN' A BETTER WAY.

AIN'T NO ANDS, IFS, OR BUTTS,WE'RE OUT TO SAVE OUR BUTTS,BUT WHAT WE'RE TRYIN' TO DOIS SAVE YOUR OWN BUTTS, TOO.SO THE PROPER ATTITUDEIS GRATITUDE.GOT IT, DUDE?GRATITUDE!THAT'S THE PROPER ATTITUDE!

NOW, DON'T GO AND THROW A FIT.WE'RE ONLY DOIN' ITTO CONVINCE YOU OF THE FACT,THE OVERWHELMING FACT,THAT THE TIME HAS COME TO ACT!SO THE PROPER ATTITUDEIS GRATITUDE.GOT IT, DUDE?GRATITUDE!THAT'S THE PROPER ATTITUDE!

WHAT DO YOU EXPECT US TO DOWHEN WE HAVE TO GET THROUGH TO YOU --COME OUT AND POLITELY REQUESTTHAT YOU START DO YOUR BEST?

(MORE)

15.

WHAT DO YOU PLAN TO DOABOUT POLLUTIN' THE AIR,THE WATER, LAND AND FOOD?BESIDES GIVE US A SCARE?WHAT DO YOU PLAN TO SAYWHEN OUR TOWN IS UNDER THE BAY?AND WHAT DO YOU TELL A WHALETHAT PLASTIC HAS MADE A GARBAGE PAIL?

WE CAN'T AFFORD TO WAIT,UNTIL IT'S WAY TOO LATE.CHECK OUT ALL THE ODD WEATHERAND REMEMBER WE'RE IN IT TOGETHER.SO THE PROPER ATTITUDEIS GRATITUDE.GOT IT, DUDE?NOTHIN' BUT GRATITUDE!NOTHIN' BUT GRATI-, GRATI, GRATITUDE.YEAH, GRATI-,GRATI, GRATITUDE!

ERICSo, tell me, are you feelin' the gratitude!

KIMWe hope so. Now, for a number we call "Celebration."

Song: CELEBRATION.

CLASS MEMBERSsings( )

PEOPLE LIKE TO CELEBRATEBIRTHDAYS AND HOLIDAYSAND OTHER SPECIAL DAYS.BUT WE WANT TO SINGABOUT OTHER THINGS WE THINK ARE GREAT!

CELEBRATE! CELEBRATE!LET'S ALL CELEBRATEYOU AND ME,FRIENDS AND FAMILY,AND EVERY HUMAN ALIVE --WITH HOPE WE CAN SURVIVE!

CELEBRATE! CELEBRATE!LET'S ALL CELEBRATETHE ANIMALS AND THE TREES,THE FLOWERS AND THE SEAS,THE SACRED LAND AND AIR,WHICH ALL NEED US TO CARE!

CELEBRATE! CELEBRATE!(MORE)

16.

LET'S ALL CELEBRATECLASS MEMBERS (cont'd)

THE EARTH, OUR HOME,OUR ONLY ONE,WHEREVER WE ROAM,AND OUR STAR, THE SUN.

CELEBRATE! CELEBRATE!LET'S ALL CELEBRATETHE ATOMS AND MOLECULES,NATURE'S CREATIVE TOOLS,AND THE GREAT THINGS WE'VE ACHIEVEDWITH THE MINDS WE HAVE RECEIVED.

CELEBRATE! CELEBRATE!LET'S ALL CELEBRATEOUR GALAXY AND THE UNIVERSE,THE LIVING, BREATHING UNIVERSE,THE MIRACLE WHICH, WE LEARN,EVOLVED US AND TO WHICH WE RETURN.

YES, LET'S CELEBRATE, CELEBRATEEVERY LIVING THINGLET US PROUDLY SINGABOUT AND SANCTIFYEVERY LIVING THING,LET US LOUDLY SING AND TRYOUR BEST TO SANCTIFYEVERY LIVING THING!SO THERE'S HOPE WE ALL DON'T DIE!SO THAT WE ALL DON'T DIE!

ERICDynamite!

KIMYou bet! Now, how about something that's easy for all of youto love? It's called ...

KIM... "How Much Can You Love?" Take it away, class!

Song: HOW MUCH CAN YOU LOVE?

CLASS MEMBERSsing( )

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE --HOW MUCH CAN YOU LOVE, LOVE, LOVE?TELL ME, HOW MUCHCAN YOU LOVE, LOVE, LOVE?ALL THE PEOPLE YOU CAN TOUCHWITH YOUR HEART OR HANDS?BUT HOW ABOUT ME?LOOK AT ME.

(MORE)

17.

WHAT DO YOU SEE?CLASS MEMBERS (cont'd)

LOOK AT THE PERSON NEXT TO YOU.AND ALL THE PEOPLE SITTIN' WITH YOU.CAN YOU LOVE ME,CAN YOU LOVE HIM OR HER,CAN YOU LOVE US ALL?TELL ME TRUE,CAN YOU LOVE US ALL?

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH,HOW MUCH CAN YOU LOVE, LOVE, LOVE?CAN YOU LOVE ALL PEOPLE YOU KNOWALL THE OTHER PEOPLE ON PLANET?CAN YOU LOVE THEM ALL?CAN YOU, CAN YOU LOVE THEM ALL?

TELL ME, TELL ME TRUE,HOW MUCH CAN YOU LOVE, LOVE, LOVE?CAN YOU LOVE ALL THE OTHER CREATURES, TOO?ALL THE OTHER CREATURES, TOO?CAN YOU LOVE, LOVE, LOVE THEM ALL?

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH,HOW MUCH CAN YOU LOVE, LOVE, LOVE?ALL THE CREATURES AND THE PLANTS?ALL THE CREATURES AND THE PLANTS?AND ALL THE WATER, AIR, AND LAND?COME ON, COME ON,IT'S TIME TO TAKE YOUR STAND!

HOW MUCH CAN YOU LOVE, LOVE, LOVE?TELL ME, HOW MUCH CAN YOU LOVE?CAN YOU LOVE EVERY LIVING THING?CAN YOU LOVE EVERY INANIMATE THINGWE DEPEND ON, BREATHE, AND DRINK?COME ON AND THINK!CAN YOU LOVE THE WHOLE UNIVERSETHE UNIVERSE THAT GAVE BIRTH TO USAND SUSTAINS OUR NATURAL HEAVENWHERE THE SUN AND THE EARTHCAN NOURISH LIFEAND MAKE IT FLOURISH.

SO TELL ME, TELL ME,HOW MUCH CAN YOU LOVE?HOW MUCH CAN YOU LOVE, LOVE, LOVE?CAN YOU LOVE ENOUGHTO WASH AWAY THE HATEALL THE HATE?CAN YOU MAKE YOURSELF SO GREATYOU CAN WASH AWAY THE HATE?LOVE, LOVE, LOVE,TELL US, TELL US NOW,

(MORE)

18.

HOW MUCH, MUCH, MUCHCLASS MEMBERS (cont'd)

CAN YOU LOVE, LOVE, LOVE?

KIMPersonally, that's one of my favorites. We all worked on ittogether.

ERICYes, we did. Ain't no such thing as too much love. Now, wewant to sing about a movement that's a really big deal.

KIMAnd we hope it's a big deal to you, too.

Song: THE BIGGEST DEAL

CLASS MEMBERSsing( )

WHAT'S THE BIGGEST DEALTHE BIGGEST DEAL OF ALL?IT'S WHAT PROGRESSIVES CALLTHE GREEN NEW DEAL.

COME ON, DON'T YOU FEELIT'S THE BIGGEST DEAL,THE BIGGEST DEAL OF ALL,IT'S THE LEGISLATION WE NEEDFOR WASHINGTON TO CALLTHE RAREST THING OF ALL --A DONE DEED, A DONE DEED?

SO WE JOIN OUR VOICESWITH THE SUNRISE SUMMIT,THE VOICE OF YOUTH.THE SUNRISE SUMMIT,THE VOICE OF THE TRUTH!

WE JOIN OUR VOICESWITH THE ZERO HOUR MOVEMENT.YES, IT'S ZERO HOUR,AND THE ZERO HOUR MOVEMENTIS YOUTH EXPRESSING ITS POWER.

AND WE JOIN OUR VOICESTO THE PIONEER, GREEN PEACE,IN OUR OWN WAYTO BACK GREEN PEACEAND HAVE OUR SAY.

WE JOIN OUR VOICESTO INFLUENCE THE CHOICESHUMANS MAKE EVERY DAYSO WE AVERT DOOMSDAY!

(MORE)

19.

CLASS MEMBERS (cont'd)

JOIN US, JOIN US,JOIN OUR VOICESTO MAKE THE BIGGEST DEAL,THE BIGGEST DEAL OF ALL,A DONE DEED, A DONE DEED,THE LEGISLATION WE NEEDFOR WASHINGTON TO CALLA DONE DEED, A DONE, DONE, DONE DEED!

ERICYeah, join us! How about it?

KIMNext, we have a surprise guest or two. First, here's apersonal appearance by Mother Earth, here to sing "TheMother Earth Blues."

Sue comes in, dressed as MotherEarth, with her dress soiled.

Song: THE MOTHER EARTH BLUES

MOTHER EARTHsings( )

I GOT THE BLUES, THE BLUES,THE MOTHER OF ALL BLUES,IT'S CALLED THE MOTHER EARTH BLUES!JUST LOOK AT ME AND MY DRESS.IT USED TO BE SO CLEAN, SO PRISTINE,BUT NOW JUST LOOK AT THIS AWFUL MESS!

YEAH, I GOT THE BLUES,THE MOTHER OF ALL BLUES,AND IT'S CALLED, IT'S CALLEDTHE MOTHER EARTH BLUES.MY CHILDREN'VE BEEN PLAYIN' ON MY LAPAND DIRTYIN' IT WITH ALL KINDS OF CRAP.AND THAT'S WHY I GOT THE BLUESTHE MOTHER OF ALL BLUES,THE MOTHER, MOTHER, MOTHER EARTH BLUES.

OH, I TRY NOT TO COMPLAIN,BUT YOU GOTTA FEEL MY PAIN,

GOTTA FEEL MY PAIN!

YEAH, I GOT THE BLUES,THE MOTHER OF ALL BLUES,AND IT'S CALLED, IT'S CALLEDTHE MOTHER EARTH BLUES.OH, I'M FEELIN' SO HURT,SO DEEP-DOWN HURT,

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HOW MUCH CAN I TAKEMOTHER EARTH (cont'd)

BEFORE I JUST SHAKE,MY SHOULDERS,LIKE TWO BIG BOULDERS,AND KNOCK MY CHILDRENOFF OF MY LAPAND ONTO THE DIRT,YEAH, KNOCK YOU ALL OFF MY LAP,RIGHT OFF OFF MY LAPAND ONTO THE DIRT!

OH, YEAH, I GOT, I GOT, I GOT,THE MOTHER EARTH BLUES!THE LOWDOWN, LOWDOWN, LOWDOWNMOTHER EARTH BLUES!

spoken( )And now I'd like to introduce you to my own guest, mylifelong love and husband, Father Sun. Come on out here,Sunny.

Rod enters, costumed as Father Sun.

FATHER SUNHi, there, darlin'.

to audience( )First, I've been sendin' the same amount of heat your wayfor billions of years. So global warming ain't my fault. Butnow you got enough technology to do somethin' about it -- if you appreciate what you got and get to work. Now, let meget personal. Every wise man knows when your lady love has aproblem, you got a problem. So listen up!

sings( )LET ME GIVE YOU THE NEWS.WHEN SHE'S GOT THE MOTHER EARTH BLUESI GOT THE FATHER, THE FATHER SUN BLUES.

SO LET ME TELL YA HOW THIS WOMAN IS.SHE CAN LOVE YA LIKE NO OTHER PLANET,BUT IF YOU CROSS HERSHE'LL FINALLY TOSS YOURIGHT OFF HER LAP. YEAH, IF YOU DON'T APPRECIATE HER LOVESHE'S LIKELY TO GIVE YOU A SHOVERIGHT OFF HER LAP.AND RIGHT NOW SHE'S GOT...

MOTHER EARTH... THE MOTHER BLUESTHE MOTHER OF ALL BLUES,THE MOTHER EARTH BLUES!

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FATHER SUNSO I GOT FATHER, THE FATHEROF ALL BLUES, THE FATHER SUN BLUES.

MOTHER EARTHYEAH, YEAH, I GOT THE MOTHER EARTH ...

FATHER SUN... SO I GOT THE FATHER SUN ...

MOTHER... THE MOTHER EARTH BLUES...

FATHER SUN... AND THE FATHER SUN BLUES.

BOTHTHE BLUES, THE BLUES,WE BOTH GOT THE BLUES!

KIMThank you! Thank you. Let's hear it for this incredible duo!

to audience( )Now, dear parents, here comes a song that's going to requirea little understanding on your part. But, just so you know,we're not attacking anything. We're just suggestingsomething that's really important.

ERICLook at it this way. We can't even create a tiny red ant ora fly. Yet somehow we don't appreciate that we're walkingaround with all this amazing life around us. As we learnedin physics class, Einstein said, "Every moment is amiracle."

KIMSo please take this next song in the respectful way it'soffered.

Song: FAITH IN LIFE ON EARTH

CLASS MEMBERSsing( )

GOT A QUESTION,GOT A QUESTION FOR YOUAND WANT TO KNOW,NEED TO KNOWWHAT YOU THINK IS TRUE.

YOU GOT FAITH IN THIS AND THATAND YOU'RE SITTIN' PAT,SITTIN PAT,

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BUT TREATIN' THE EARTHLIKE IT'S A BUS STOP

point to sky( )WHERE YOU'RE WAITIN'TILL YOU HEAD UP TOP.

BUT, HEY, AIN’T THE EARTH,AIN'T THE EARTH WORTH,HAVIN’ SOME FAITHIN LIFE ON EARTH,FAITH IN LIFE ON EARTH?

NOW HERE'S THE QUESTION,HERE'S THE BIG QUESTION.‘STEAD OF LETTIN' IT DIE,LETTIN' LIFE DIE,WITH YOUR EYES ON THE SKY,THINK FOR MINUTE,JUST FOR A MINUTE,WHO GOD ABOVEIS MORE LIKELY TO LOVE?

SOMEONE WHO GENUFLECTSBUT THEN NEGLECTSWHAT GOD CREATEDOR THAT HAS EVOLVED?OR SOMEONE WHO CARES,SOMEONE SO INVOLVEDHE OR SHE DARESTO DECIDE THE BEST WAYTO HEAVEN ABOVEIS TO CARE ABOUT THE EARTH,LIFE RIGHT HERE ON EARTH?

COME ON,WHO IS GOD ABOVEMORE LIKELY TO LOVE?PUT ON YOUR THINKIN' CAPAND TUNE INTO THIS RAP --WHO IS GOD ABOVEMORE LIKELY TO LOVE?

Activity in the audience. Parentsstart to shout.

PARENTSStop the show! Close it down! It's a sacrilege! Blasphemy!Intelligent design, not evolution! Fake science! Secularclaptrap! Godless fee-losophers! You can't be good withoutGod! Fire the teacher! I don't know -- I kind of like it.Boo!

Ms. Carlson stands up.

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MS. CARLSONPlease, these are your children. So please quiet down andlet the show continue.

parents boo( )Fire me if you want to, but they've worked hard on the showand believe what they're saying passionately.

PARENTSBoo! You're gonna get fired!

MS. CARLSONSo be it.

RODIf she gets fired, we go on strike.

SUEStrike is right.

CLASS MEMBERSYea! You got it! No more school attendance. No graduation!

MS. CARLSONPlease, let them continue. After all, your children are theones who are going to inherit the future.

Parents grumble but quiet down.

MS. CARLSON(CONT'D)Thank you.

to performers( )Please, go on.

CASTYea!

KIMto audience( )

I think you'll find this next song easier to take. It'scalled "The Other Animals."

Some class members enter, dressedas wild animals and farm animals.Song: THE OTHER ANIMALS.

ANIMALSspoken( )

HELLO AND HOW ARE YOU?(sing)WE ARE THE ANIMALS,THE OTHER ANIMALSWHO INHABIT THIS GREAT EARTH, TOO.

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WE USUALLY DON'T HAVE A VOICESO WE HAVE NO OTHER CHOICEBUT TO DEPEND ON YOU.

WE ARE THE ANIMALS,THE OTHER ANIMALS.(hold up list)AND, AS YOU CAN SEE,WE'VE ACTUALLYPUT TOGETHER A LISTABOUT WHY WE'RE PISSED.

WE DON'T KNOW WHYBUT THE WOODS, AIR, AND WATERSEEM TO BE GETTINGHOTTER AND HOTTER.

HOW CAN WE SURVIVEON LAND WITHOUT TREESAND EATING POLLUTED? CAN YOU TELL US, PLEASE?

AND WE'RE NOT FANS OF AIRTHAT'S FILLED WITH SMOKE.WE'RE JUST LIKE YOU.IT MAKES US CHOKE.

WE DON'T LIKE PLASTICOF ANY KIND FOR DINNER.IT FILLS UP OUR STOMACHSBUT MAKES US THINNER.

WE ARE THE ANIMALS,THE OTHER ANIMALS.WE DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.WHEREVER WE WALK, SWIM, OR FLY,ALL WE CAN DOIS DEPEND ON YOU.NOT TO LET US SUFFER AND DIE.

SO WHATEVER YOU DOPLEASE, DON'T FORGET USPLEASE, DON'T LET USSUFFER AND DIE.PLEASE, DON'T FORGET USOH, PLEASE DON'T LET USSUFFER AND DIE!

KIMThey're so cute. But think of the last time you saw a deadfish or a bird filled with plastic! It's sad and sounnecessary! And just think -- Washington has recently

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rolled back rules meant to protect our water and wetlands.KIM (cont'd)

How dumb is that?

ERICVery. Now, I'm sure you know that the leading cause ofglobal climate change is burning fossil fuels. But do youknow that raising farm animals on an industrial scale is thesecond leading cause. It accounts for about 14% ofgreenhouse gas emissions globally. So here's a really meatysong! It's called "Giving Up Meat Tout De Suite."

Class members enter who are notdressed as animals.

CLASS MEMBERSsing; a lament( )

OH, WE BETTER ALL GIVE UP MEATOR AT LEAST EAT A WHOLE LOT LESSTO HELP CLEAN UP OUR GLOBAL MESSRIGHT AWAY, OR TOOT DE SUITE!

FARM ANIMALSTHANK YOU -- THE SOONER, THE BETTER! MEANWHILE, PLEASE RAISE US IN WAYS THAT ARE HUMANE,NOT LOCKED UP IN STALLS IN SINGLE FILE,WHERE BOREDOM DRIVES US ALL INSANE.

CLASS MEMBERSOH, WE ALL BETTER GIVE UP MEATAND GO VEGAN AS SOON AS WE CAN.MEANWHILE, WE'LL DEMAND A PLANTO MAKE YOUR LIVES COMPLETE.

WILD ANIMALSWE USUALLY DINE ON MEAT IN THE WILD,A LIFESTYLE THAT HELPS KEEP THE WEATHER MILD.SO DON'T ASK US TO GIVE IT UP.IT'S OUR FAVORITE WAY TO LIVE IT UP.

CLASS MEMBERSOH, WE ALL BETTER GIVE UP MEAT,BUT WE'LL MAKE EXCEPTIONS FOR YOU.ONCE HUMANS WERE ALL HUNTERS, TOO,AND DID NOT MAKE THE EARTH OVERHEAT.

ALL ANIMALSYOU HUMANS BETTER ALL GIVE UP EATING MEATOR YOU'LL OVERCOME US ALL WITH HEAT!

CLASS MEMBERSWE SHOULD EAT ONLY VEGGIES OR FAKES

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LIKE SOY BURGERS AND STEAKSCLASS MEMBERS (cont'd)

RIGHT AWAY AND TOOT DE SUITE!EAT ONLY VEGGIES OR FAKESRIGHT AWAY, OR TOOT DE SUITE!

KIMToot de suite is right! Now, here's a song for the animals,the plants, and all of us on this life-blessed earth.Please, don't have a white-knuckle flight. It's not toocontroversial.

ERICAnd consider this. Humans are only about two-hundred-thousand years old and the dinosaurs lived for about 160billion years. So, like it or not, we're very early humans.Nevertheless, we happen to be the humans who are alive whenwe have to commit to taking care of the earth and all itslife or blow it for all time.

KIMSo let's go for it.

Cast members, dressed as humans andanimals, light candles. Projectedphotos of the natural environment,people, and animals accompany thesong, which is a chant in style ofOrf's Carmina Burana.

Song: REVERE THE BIOSPHERE

CLASS MEMBERSchant( )

REVERE! REVERE! REVERE!THE, THE, THE,BIO-, BIO-, BIO-, BIO-,-SPHERE, -SPHERE, -SPHERE,LOOK FAR AND NEAR,WHAT SHOULD YOU REVERE?START, START, START WITH THE BIOSPHERE, THE BIOSPHERE!DO YOUR PART, PART, PART,SHOW YOU REVERE, REVERE, REVERETHE BIOSPHERE, BIOSPHERE, BIOSPHEREAND ALL THAT HAS EVOLVED, EVOLVED, EVOLVEDWITHIN, WITHIN, WITHIN IT!IT'S YOUR DIRECT WAY, WAY, WAY,THE MOST DIRECT WAY, WAY, WAYTO REVERE WHATEVER EVOLVED, EVOLVED, EVOLVED ITAND ALL THE LIFEALL, ALL, ALLTHE LIFE, LIFE, LIFE,

27.

WITHIN IT!WHATEVER YOU REVERE,START, START, STARTWITH THE BIOSPHERE.DO YOUR PARTAND REVERE, REVERE, REVERETHE BIOSPHERE, THE BIOSPHERE!REVERE THE BIOSPHERE!

KIMAll right! Moving right along. Yes, we need more solar, morewind, and more electric cars. But we need something elseeveryone can help with that might be the most effectivething we can do. More trees.

Song: PLANT A TREE FOR ME

CASTsings( )

PLANT A TREE,WON'T YOU PLANT A TREE,PLANT A TREE FOR ME?IT NEEDS TO BREATHEBUT UNLIKE YOUIT BREATHES IN CO2

SO PLANT A TREE,PLEASE, PLANT A TREE FOR ME.IT NEEDS TO BREATHE,BUT UNLIKE YOU,IT BREATHES OUT PURE O2.

IT'S OUR PARTNER INTHE BREATH OF LIFE.IT INHALES WHAT WE EXHALEAND EXHALES WHAT INHALE.IT'S OUR PARTNER,OUR PERFECT PARTNERIN THE BREATH OF LIFE

SO PLANT A TREE.WON'T YOU PLANT A TREE?PLEASE, PLANT A TREE FOR ME.IT NEEDS TO BREATHEBUT UNLIKE YOUIT BREATHES IN CO2AND BREATHES OUT PURE O2.SO PLANT A TREE.WON'T YOU PLANT A TREE?PLEASE, PLANT A TREE FOR ME.

28.

KIMWhen we were rehearsing that song, we all decided to go outand plant a tree. We really did! How about you? It may notbe the complete answer. But think what it would mean ifevery person on earth planted just one -- billions moretrees, removing CO2 from the atmosphere.

ERICPlus, adding more oxygen for all of us to breathe. Now,we've got another barn burner. Sorry, the facts are a matterof life and death. It's like the recent paper that over11,000 scientists signed that declared we have a "climateemergency." So you'll just have to forgive us. It's time tolisten to the science!

Song: RELIANCE ON SCIENCE

Class members enter, dressed asthemselves.

CLASS MEMBERSSing( )

WHEN YOU DECIDEWHAT TO BELIEVEON WHAT DO YOU RELY?WHAT IF IT'S WRONG OR A LIE?TRUST US, WE'RE HERE TO SAYTHAT THERE'S A BETTER WAY.

WE LEARNED IN CLASSTHE WAY TO SURPASSOTHER METHODS AND SEE WHAT'S REALITYIS RELIANCE, RELIANCE,RELIANCE ON SCIENCE.

INSTEAD OF MESSINGAROUND AND GUESSING,MAY WE SUGGESTTHE METHOD THAT'S BEST:IT'S RELIANCE, RELIANCERELIANCE ON SCIENCE.

WHY SHOULD YOU TRUSTWHAT SCIENCE SAYS IS TRUE?YOU JUST HAVE KNOWWHAT SCIENTISTS DO.THEY DON'T DEPENDON WHAT OTHERS SAYBUT DO EXPERIMENTSTO ACCEPT OR REJECT

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IDEAS THEY THINKCLASS MEMBERS (cont'd)

MIGHT BE CORRECT.

YES, THEY LOOK NEAR AND FARTO SEE HOW THINGS AREAND THAT'S HOW WE KNOWTHE WAY TO GOIS RELIANCE, RELIANCE,RELIANCE ON SCIENCE.

ERICOK. Facts may be inconvenient. But they can save us! Now Kimand I would like to do another duet. If you disagree withany of it, we have to say it's just the way we feel. It'scalled "Poor Little Planet."

KIMAnd let me just say to my my parents, "I love you!"

ready( )

Song: POOR LITTLE PLANET

KIM & ERICsing( )

ROBED IN WHITE AND BLUE,I SEE HOW YOU SUFFER,BUT WHAT CAN I DO?

POOR LITTLE PLANETWITH YOUR SUNLIT DOME,WILL THERE EVER BE A TIMEWHEN PEOPLE CALL YOU HOME?

I WONDER IF HUMANSWILL EVER APPRECIATEHOW SPECIAL YOU ARE,WITH YOUR OWN SPECIAL STAR,AND STOP TREATING YOULIKE A FALL FROM GRACEAND A STOPOVER ONTHE WAY TO A BETTER PLACE.

MAYBE IF WE ALL LIVEDON THE MOON AND SAWTHE LOVELY EARTHRISE EVERY DAYWE’D ALL KNOW WHERE HEAVEN ISAND WISH IT WASTHE PLACE OF OUR BIRTH.POOR LITTLE PLANET,WOULDN’T IT BE NICEIF PEOPLE FINALLY KNEWTHEY LIVE IN PARADISE,

30.

IF AMID ALL THE STRIFETHEY FINALLY KNEWTHEY LIVE IN PARADISE APARADISE OF LIFE?

ERICImagine! When you see how when there's just a crack in thecement, a plant pops up, you realize the earth has a greatspirit to live. So what do you say we give it a chance? Nowhere's our final song!

KIMIt takes on special relevance since it was recentlydiscovered that Venus may have once been cool enough to haveliquid water on its surface. But somehow an enormous amountof carbon dioxide was released into the atmosphere. It'sstill there -- and the surface temperature averages over 800degrees!

ERICSee how bad it could get? So here it is -- a song called"The Burning Question."

Song: THE BURNING QUESTION

CLASS MEMBERSsing( )

SOME SAY WE HAVE TILL TWENTY-FIFTYTO BE CARBON-FREE AND SAVEOURSELVES OR WE'LL HEAD FOR GRAVEABOUT THE TIME WE'RE FIFTY.

spoken, as they(count on theirfingers)

Well, others say even less. As little as ten or twelveyears. But let's go with twenty-fifty for the completeanswer. We're almost twenty, and that's about 30 years fromnow. So guess what?

sing( )WHEN THE CLIMATE CRISIS HITSAND SCARES US OUT OF OUR WITS.OUR OWN CHILDREN WILL BE IN SCHOOL,LEARNING ABOUT FOSSIL FUEL.

AND IT'S A NO-BRAINER TO SEETHE BURNING QUESTION COULD BE,WHY DIDN'T OUR PARENTS STOPBURNING THAT GODDAMN SLOP?

YES, IN TWENTY-FIFTYWE'LL BE ABOUT FIFTY,WITH CHILDREN OF OUR OWN,WHO WILL BE FULLY GROWN,

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AND IT'S A NO-BRAINER TO SEECLASS MEMBERS (cont'd)

THE BURNING QUESTION WILL BEWHY DIDN'T OUR PARENTS STOPBURNING THAT GODDAMN SLOP?

AND THE PARENTS WHO WILL BE TO BLAMEIN THE EYES OF YOUR CHILDREN'S CHILDRENWON'T ONLY BE US BUT, GUESS WHOTHEIR PLIGHT WILL ALSO SHAME?

KNOW WHAT THEY'LL KNOW IS TRUEUNLESS WE GIVE UP ALL THAT GOO? NO MATTER HOW HARD THEY TRYTHEY'RE SIMPLY GOING TO DIE.SO IT'S A NO-BRAINER TO SEE THE BURNING QUESTION WILL BE,WHY DIDN'T OUR PARENTS STOPBURNING THAT GODDAMN SLOP?WHY DIDN'T OUR PARENTSAND GRANDPARENTSSTOP BURNING THAT GODDAMN SLOP?

End of songs. Lights go down, comeup. Children take their bows. Boosfrom the audience drown out thecheers.

AUDIENCE MEMBERSShut down the show! Fire the drama teacher! Dismiss theprincipal! Oh, come on, they're just doing their best to getus to pitch in and help change things. Put yourselves intheir shoes! We kind of like it. Boo!

ERICtries to quiet them(down)

OK. That's it, folks. If you enjoyed the show or admiredwhat we're trying to say, thank you!

KIMWe just want you to know our drama teacher, Ms. Carlson, wasconcerned about some of the content of the show.

ERICBut we told her our future is the one that's on the line.

KIMBesides, the show was our idea -- Eric's and mine. If youhave to blame someone, blame us.

32.

RODAnd just so you know, if any parents out there try to getMs. Carlson or Mr. Grayson in trouble, we really will go onstrike.

to class( )Right, class?

Shouts of agreement with fist pumpsfrom class members.

SUEBetter yet, give them both a raise!

CLASS MEMBERSYeah, a raise. A big, fat raise!

KIMHow about this? Just get with the title of our show, and therest will take care of itself. Cool, right?

ERICto audience( )

Right?turns to class( )

So, what do you say? Let's go for the reprise!

Reprise from "Hooked on Happiness!"

CLASS MEMBERSsinging and dancing( )

HOOKED ON HAPPINESS,HOOKED ON HAPPINESS,WE'RE ALL HOOKED ON HAPPINESS --AND DETERMINED TO KEEPTHE EARTH, OUR HOME,OUR HOME IN SPACEA HAPPY PLACE --THE TRULY HAPPY PLACE,IT OUGHT TO BE,AND DESERVES TO BE.HAPPY FOREVER,HAPPY FOREVER!TRULY HAPPY FOREVER AND EVER!

THE END

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