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Women musicians, like all women, pay a “likability tax” when

they are self-promoting, assertive, and successful. One of the

most important sociological facts andberg emphasi!es is that

success and likability are positively correlated for men, and

negatively correlated for women. " strong body of researchdemonstrates that if a man has an ambitious, thriving, and

successful career, his peers will #nd him more likable$ if a

woman has the same kind of career, her peers will #nd her less

likable. %wo studies in the &ournal of "pplied 'sychology called

this the “penalty for success.” Women artists pay a social tax

for their professional achievements that men do not. Women

musicians cannot promote themselves in the same way that

men do without facing negative conse(uences in the way they

are perceived personally. %his is particularly problematic for

performing artists, who must cultivate personal connections

and an enthusiastic fan base )read* people who like you+ in

order to survive. Women #nd themselves in a “damned if you

do, damned if you dont” situation. We shouldnt be surprised

that they might shy away from career developments that

would make them, say, hicagoan of the ear in /usic0or that

when it comes time to choose, 1ournalists dont #nd those

women leaders (uite as appealing.

2 really like to do magic that has meaning, something that

people can relate to, something that really moves people

through story telling, its 1ust not about tricks, its not about hey

look what i can do, i want to take it to a whole other level,

trying to create a theme, a story, a reason3 yril %akayama

Women and girls have been discriminated against for too

long in a twisted interpretation of the word of God.

I HAVE been a practicing Christian all my life and a deacon and 

Bible teacher for many years. My faith is a source of strength and 

comfort to me, as religious beliefs are to hundreds of millions of 

 people around the world. o my decision to se!er my ties with the

outhern Baptist Con!ention, after si" decades, was painful and difficult. It was, howe!er, an una!oidable decision when the

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*he same discriminatory thin&ing lies behind the continuing gender 

gap in pay and why there are still so few women in office in the

+est. *he root of this pre-udice lies deep in our histories, but its

impact is felt e!ery day. It is not women and girls alone who suffer.

It damages all of us. *he e!idence shows that in!esting in women

and girls deli!ers ma-or benefits for society. An educated woman

has healthier children. he is more li&ely to send them to school.

he earns more and in!ests what she earns in her family.

It is simply self1defeating for any community to discriminate

against half its population. +e need to challenge these self1

ser!ing and outdated attitudes and practices 1 as we are seeing in

Iran where women are at the forefront of the battle for democracy and freedom.

I understand, howe!er, why many political leaders can be reluctant 

about stepping into this minefield. 2eligion, and tradition, are

 powerful and sensiti!e areas to challenge. But my fellow Elders

and I, who come from many faiths and bac&grounds, no longer 

need to worry about winning !otes or a!oiding contro!ersy 1 and 

we are deeply committed to challenging in-ustice where!er we seeit.

*he Elders are an independent group of eminent global leaders,

brought together by former outh African president elson

Mandela, who offer their influence and e"perience to support 

 peace building, help address ma-or causes of human suffering and 

 promote the shared interests of humanity. +e ha!e decided to

draw particular attention to the responsibility of religious and traditional leaders in ensuring e$uality and human rights and ha!e

recently published a statement that declares3 (*he -ustification of 

discrimination against women and girls on grounds of religion or 

tradition, as if it were prescribed by a Higher Authority, is

unacceptable.) 

+e are calling on all leaders to challenge and change the harmful 

teachings and practices, no matter how ingrained %tertanam',

which -ustify discrimination against women. +e as&, in particular,

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that leaders of all religions ha!e the courage to ac&nowledge

%menga&ui' and emphasise the positi!e messages of dignity 

%martabat' and e$uality that all the world#s ma-or faiths share.

*he carefully selected !erses found in the Holy criptures to -ustify the superiority of men owe more to time and place 1 and the

determination of male leaders to hold onto their influence 1 than

eternal truths. imilar biblical e"cerpts could be found to support 

the appro!al of sla!ery and the timid ac$uiescence to oppressi!e

rulers.

I am also familiar with !i!id descriptions in the same criptures in

which women are re!ered as pre1eminent leaders. 4uring theyears of the early Christian church women ser!ed as deacons,

 priests, bishops, apostles, teachers and prophets. It wasn#t until 

the fourth century that dominant Christian leaders, all men, twisted 

and distorted Holy criptures to perpetuate their ascendant 

 positions within the religious hierarchy.

*he truth is that male religious leaders ha!e had 1 and still ha!e 1

an option to interpret holy teachings either to e"alt or sub-ugatewomen. *hey ha!e, for their own selfish ends, o!erwhelmingly 

chosen the latter. *heir continuing choice pro!ides the foundation

or -ustification for much of the per!asi!e persecution and abuse of 

women throughout the world. *his is in clear !iolation not -ust of 

the 5ni!ersal 4eclaration of Human 2ights but also the teachings

of 6esus Christ, the Apostle 7aul, Moses and the prophets,

Muhammad, and founders of other great religions 1 all of whom

ha!e called for proper and e$uitable treatment of all the children of 8od. It is time we had the courage to challenge these !iews.

9BE2VE2 

6immy Carter was president of the 5nited tates from :;<< to

:;=:.

45"6 W4"% O'6"4 W27865 4"9 %O

" ":O;% /57 *

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2f a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

2f he doesn3t want you, nothing can make him stay. top

making excuses for a man and his behavior. "llow your

intuition )or spirit+ to save you from heartache.

top trying to change yourself for a relationship that3s not

meant to be. lower is better. 7ever live your life for a

man before you #nd what makes you truly happy. 2f a

relationship ends because the man was not treating you

as you deserve then heck no, you can3t <be friends<. "

friend wouldn3t mistreat a friend.

9on3t settle. 2f you feel like he is stringing you along, then

he probably is. 9on3t stay because you think <it will get

better.< ou3ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying

when things are not better. %he only person you can

control in a relationship is you. "void men who have a

bunch of children by a bunch of di=erent women. 4e didn3t

marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he

treat you any di=erently> "lways have your own set of 

friends separate from his. /aintain boundaries in how a

guy treats you. 2f something bothers you, speak up. 7ever

let a man know everything. 4e will use it against you later.

 ou cannot change a man3s behavior. hange comes from

within. 9on3t 5?56 make him feel he is more important

than you are. 5ven if he has has more education or in a

better 1ob. 9o not make him into a (uasi-god. 4e is a man,

nothing more nothing less.

7ever let a man de#ne who you are. 7ever borrow

someone else3s man. 2f he cheated with you, he3ll cheat on

you. " man will only treat you the way you "@@OW him to

treat you. "ll men are 7O% dogs.

 ou should not be the one doing all the bending...

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ompromise is two way street. ou need time to heal

between relationships. %here is nothing cute about

baggage... 9eal with your issues before pursuing a new

relationship. ou should never look for someone to

O/'@5%5 you. " relationship consists of two W4O@5

individuals. @ook for someone complimentary...

not supplementary.

9ating is fun... 5ven if he doesn3t turn out to be /r. 6ight.

/ake him miss you sometimes... When a man always

know where you are, and you3re always readily available

to him A he takes it for granted. 7ever move into his

mother3s house. 7ever co-sign for a man. 9on3t fully

commit to a man who doesn3t give you everything that

you need. Beep him in your radar but get to know others.

cared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay

in relationships that are abusive or hurtful* 9r. 'hil says...

 ou should know that* ou3re the best thing that could ever

happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you, he3ll miss

out on a good thing. 2f he was attracted to you in the Cst

place, 1ust know that he3s not the only one. %hey3re all

watching you, so you have a lot of choices. /ake the right

one. @adies take care of your own hearts... D

@ike E E hare E FG minutes ago via mobile E

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