Healing Relationships 2 - Louise Armstrong · forgive. Forgiving yourself hugely not only benefits you but everyone else around you – your family, friends & your business or work

www.louise-armstrong.com

Welcome

Hello, my name is Louise Armstrong and I am a Family Relationship Coach empowering you to heal that painful relationship so you can lead a totally fulfilled life full of love and peace. For over 35 years I was desperately seeking my mother’s approval, her affection, her warmth and love. I tried everything possible only to be continually disappointed every time, diminishing my self-worth as I truly began to believe how useless I really was. I have spent most of my life hoping and longing for change. Not wanting to see my situation, feeling helpless and out of control, for what it was. Hiding away, pretending I was ok. As if I was happy. I wasn’t. I tried changing everyone else. It didn’t work. It wasn’t until I realised it wasn’t to do with everyone else but everything to do with me and the way I was thinking & feeling.

DOES ANY OF THIS RESONATE WITH YOU?

Then congratulations on finding me here! I am going to share with you some of the steps I took to turn around ‘A 35-year Destructive Toxic Relationship’ with my own mother to one of love, peace and total joy. This process has been used by many of my clients with some profound results so let’s start today – if you don’t where will you be this time next year? I know what works and how you can create happier, more fulfilled relationships with yourself and with others. This is the foundation of all change so start today!


RELATIONSHIPBREAKTHROUGH

UNHAPPY – RESENTFUL – ANGRY – DESPERATE - STUCK - FRUSTRATED - UNSURE - UNWANTED – GUILTY – EXHAUSTED

– HURT – SAD – WORTHLESS & TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL Is this how you feel towards a family member - perhaps with your partner,

your mother, your father, a child or a sibling?

You know there is more to life than living with this pain, anger and resentment you are suffering with right now – you know you cannot continue this way if living but you have no idea what to do?

IS THIS YOU RIGHT NOW?

Maybe you are you desperately trying to: Seek their approval Strive to be accepted Win their praise Gain acknowledgement Crave their love? Only to be disappointed yet again and again……..?

ALL THE WORK IS DONE ON YOU & YOU ALONE!

How would you like to boost that self-esteem, raise that low self-worth, feel that you are brimming with confidence so you can enjoy happy and balanced relationships with yourself and others? I have created a few steps below to ensure you really do begin a new perspective on relationships – you really can love yourself and you can love others, enjoying fulfilling relationships. You will be amazed at the results after only a few days .


Here’s why it is so important to put YOU first, perhaps for the first time in your life. As women we are used to putting our partners, husbands, children, parents and friends first before ourselves. Over time we tend to develop low self-esteem, low self-worth, lack confidence, feel irritable and unhappy. So now is the time to put YOU first because when you feel good inside EVERYONE benefits from you being a better wife, a happier mother, a more cheerful daughter, a more caring friend and an understanding employee.

CAN YOU RELATE TO THIS?

I would like you to truly understand that the entire healing process is about YOU and no one else – it’s then that things begin to change! The wonderful thing about the healing process is the changes can also be permanent.

• You feel such confidence in yourself, as you don’t have to TRY anymore. • You feel at peace because you no longer have EXPECTATIONS from that person anymore. • You feel more than enough as you truly realise you do not NEED anything from anyone

anymore. • You allow yourself put YOU first for perhaps the first time in your life. • You can finally FORGIVE yourself and that person.

So the big question you are probably asking right now is: ‘How do I get started?’

Start Your Healing Journey Right Now with these Steps


1 Let’s Face Your Situation:

YOU CAN ONLY CONTROL YOURSELF & NO ONE ELSE

TIP: START A ‘BRILLIANCE JOURNAL’ – YOUR JOURNEY Treat yourself to an A5 size book This isn’t any ordinary journal – start being aware of your thoughts and write the most significant (or reoccurring) negative thoughts in the back and the positive thoughts in the front. You may well write in here 3 or 4 times a week. Over time this will give you one of your greatest clues to what lies underneath those thoughts……we can trace these back to childhood where these patterns and belief formed. If they aren’t serving you we can then give these situations new meanings.


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2 Stop Right Now:

- Stop TRYING to make things work, to make things better, to please that person, say the ‘right ‘ things, ‘do’ the right thing you my have been trying this for years and failing………

- Have no EXPECTATION from that person – when you phone, speak, message them expect nothing in return then you won’t be disappointed. Do not expect to be hugged, cheered on, praised or remotely interested in anything you have to say – you then can’t fail.

- Understand that you don’t NEED anything from that person – YOU ARE ENOUGH. You really don’t need love, affection, praise, validation or approval because YOU ARE ENOUGH.

- The HEALING is all about you. For the first time in your life put yourself FIRST. Take time for you, meet YOUR needs, your expectations, learn how to feel good.

YOU ARE ENOUGH – YOU HAVE ENOUGH – YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH

TIP:START A GRATITUDE DIARY – CREATE AN ABUNDANT MINDSET AND NOT ONE OF LACK

Every night before you go to bed write (with emotion) down 5 different things that you are grateful for. As your pen hits the paper evoke the emotion in your words; this will be imprinted on your subconscious mind creating an abundant mindset. Being grateful for what we have allows us to have more to be grateful for. Attach this to a habit you already have i.e.: I do my diary straight after cleaning my teeth. Keep this going as gratitude will really become part of who you are.


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THE RELEASE – LET GO OF WHAT ISN’T SERVING YOU



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PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST:

- This could be for the first time in your life so you might find this very hard but don’t give up keep trying. Whatever you do, DO IT FOR YOU and without anyone else in mind. This isn’t about being alone and feeling lonely, it’s about loving being just YOU.

- Treat yourself to a special bubble bath, the cinema by yourself, a good book or magazine, a walk alone in the park, by the sea or in the woods.

- Buy your favourite drink or fruit - Try a meditation and allow yourself this luxurious time - Turn the music up LOUD when you’re home alone – whilst doing the housework or cooking

and have a dance - In the car put your favourite songs on and SING your heart out – don’t worry about the cars

next to you at the lights, let them think what they like, you are loving this time! - Tell yourself you are the most important person in your life right now – this is a total self-less

act as everyone benefits

YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON RIGHT NOW

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TIP: SELFCARE IS CRITICAL IN YOUR HEALING

- Look at your diet; make sure you are eating healthily and what makes you FEEL good. Be aware what goes past your lips and you’ll start to respect your body

- Exercise is absolutely key for everyone, if you haven’t done any exercise in ages take up walking x 30 minutes a week.

- If you’re already into exercising – do more, try something new, perhaps yoga, a new class or pilates?

- Try meditation, start with a free App www.calm.com if you’re a newbie or try some new meditations out if you’ve already got a practice going.

- Get your house in order – clear out stuff you feel you no longer need. - Look at where you spend your time –TV, social media, surfing the internet – you’ll be

amazed how much you can claw back when you are aware of where you focus your time. - Who do you spend time with? – We ‘become’ like the 5 people we pend the most time

with. One of these people can actually be ‘Your higher self’! Time is valuable so be careful how you spend it.

http://www.calm.com

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FORGIVENESS: To release that pain & resentment to find peace

Forgiveness –

• Is deciding to release that emotion - letting go of the ‘need’ to punish that person – you are letting go the emotion so you can ‘see’ the other person for who they really are. You need to get out of your own way first and keep reminding yourself daily that you have decided to forgive. Remember forgiveness isn’t about forgetting, it’s about accepting that you want to move on and do not want these emotions anymore.

• It’s about facing the pain, the hurt, not running away from it – you can break free from those l imiting beliefs (take a look in your journal) al lowing yourself huge positive energy to f i l l your mind.

• Remember every single area of your l ife wil l change when you can truly forgive. Forgiving yourself hugely not only benefits you but everyone else around you – your family, fr iends & your business or work.

• Also remember you don’t have to include this person in your life to forgive them – the forgiveness is for you, you aren’t doing it for them.

• You have decided to l ive a way of l ife by accepting the reality of what happened and l iving it.

• You need to be WILLING to forgive and this takes time. • Make sure you have expressed all of your anger, pain and resentment in

the letter you wrote earl ier

FORGIVENESS SETS YOU FREE

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THE FIVE STEPS

Together, these steps will truly help you to heal yourself allowing you to form the loving relationships you crave. These are the very steps I used for my own healing and the healing of all of the ladies I help. I have totally transformed my life from a suffering from a destructive lifelong relationship with my mother to one of love and joy. Having never wanted to live anywhere near my Mum and Dad we are planning to build our home nearby in the next few years. Miracles do happen! My message to you is – NEVER EVER GIVE UP EVEN WHEN THE ROAD GETS REALLY TOUGH – KEEP GOING – IT’S SO WORTH IT!

I WISH YOU EVERY SUCCESS IN YOUR HEALING JOURNEY!

Thank you very much for joining me on this healing journey. I would love to invite you to a ‘Breakthrough Chat’ with me to really help you to move forwards with your relationship. Book here now: http://www.louise-armstrong.com/contact-2/

• Be very clear on what it is about that person that is upsetting and causing you so much pain – totally accept this, you need to acknowledge this and understand how you’ve been affected.

• Take a moment and think what you have learnt about this situation, have you grown from this, can you see any benefits?

• Think about the person who is hurting you…..are they operating from patterns and beliefs that they know no other way of expressing themselves? Are you being true to yourself adopting these patterns in your life? Is it really their fault if they know ‘no better’?

• When you are at a peace with all of the above you can put the final seal on all this hurt – of course you will still remember what has happened BUT you will, not be bound by it.

• What an amazing way of honoring who you are and telling your subconscious mind that YOU deserve every happiness.

• Throughout the whole healing process keep focused on YOU! • Remember it’s totally normal to want to hold onto feelings of anger and resentment – we

want revenge, we feel justified BUT you can’t heal holding onto these emotions. Tell yourself this lover and over.

http://www.louise-armstrong.com/contact-2/

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Healing Relationships 2 - Louise Armstrong · forgive. Forgiving yourself hugely not only benefits you but everyone else around you – your family, friends & your business or work