“Handling What You

Can’t Control:

Managing Stress in

Today’s Libraries”

Hayward LibraryHayward Library

Presenter: Enid Presenter: Enid

BermanBerman

ExternalExternal

PeopleWorkFinancesThe UnknownThe Unknown

InternalInternal

Negative Self TalkPessimistic AttitudesOld Belief SystemsUnrealistic Expectations

Life’s PressuresLife’s Pressures

Library PressuresLibrary Pressures

How to handoff a patron when you have stopped being effective with that person

Self-forgiveness when unable to meet prior level of service

Handling doing the same with fewer resources Expectations of customers and managers under

stress EXAMPLESEXAMPLES

MarblesMarbles – – How do you lose How do you lose yours?yours?

Steps to Greater Steps to Greater ResiliencyResiliency

1.1. Improve your Humor Improve your Humor (attitude(attitude))

2.2. Positive Positive self-talkself-talk

3.3. Spend time on your prioritiesSpend time on your priorities

4.4.Self NurtureSelf Nurture

AttitudeAttitude Is Is EverythingEverything

Humor and positive attitude go hand in hand to help us cope with life’s upsets and setbacks. Each when used, frees up the other.

Use the questionnaire to see how positive (or not) your attitude is.

Any surprises?

Fill out questionnaire

StatisticsStatistics Adult:Adult:

Has about 38,000 negative thoughts out of 50,000 daily

ChildChild::

Laughs about 500 times a day, adults only an average of 15 times a day

Psychological Psychological BenefitsBenefits

Releases tension

Gives You Perspective

Promotes Creativity

Improves Communication

Decreases Conflict

Chronic Chronic PessimismPessimism…….…….

Doesn’t allow for humor Promotes depression Feels bad Is contagious Is self-fulfilling Is associated with poor

physical health

PlayPlay – – Then and NowThen and Now

When you were a kid, what were your favorite ways to play?

What were your favorite ways to play?

All grown All grown upup::Do you give yourself permission to play?How often and how do you play?

Negative Self TalkUnrealistic Internal Unrealistic Internal DemandsDemands

I need to be PerfectPerfect I need to be StrongStrong I need to PleasePlease

Your Priorities….…. Big Rocks

What’s really importantimportant to you? 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Energy PieEnergy Pie

WORKWORK

PersonalRelationships

PersonalRelationships Life

MaintenanceLife

Maintenance

SelfNurturing

SelfNurturing

Self-NurturingSelf-Nurturing -- not to be confused with self-indulgence & selfishness

Your new Your new PiePie What would you have to do differently to create a new pie? What things would you have time for, that would seem

ridiculous in today’s pie? How would it effect your stress level?

Different styles are Different styles are VValuedalued

~ ~ Golden Rule:Golden Rule:

Treat others as youyou want to be treated

~ Platinum Rule:Platinum Rule:Treat others as theythey want to be treated

AnimalAnimal TypesTypes

Pick only one statement Add up each column

Discuss in your own group #7#7 Preferred Communication Style #20#20 Feedback –best way to give us

positive/constructive feedback

2121 Day Rule Day Rule Ask yourself where your marble level

is several times per day What actions will you take, one time

a day, to loose your Stress Marbles? How will you reward yourself?