Happiness First by Dr.Sweeta Tyler

7/23/2019 Happiness First by Dr.Sweeta Tyler

1/66


2/66

Copyright 2004 Sweeta Tyler

This book may not be reproduced in any form without permission

in writing from Happiness First e!cept for printouts for personal use

or brief passages in connection with a re"iew written for inclusion in a

maga#ine newspaper broadcast or web page$

For further information write

Happiness First %$&$ 'o! 4() Florence &* (+4,(

or email mediate-oregonfast$net


3/66

Contents

The .reatest %ower on /arth$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$4The iracle of Happiness$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$1Happiness nside and &ut$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$+3alues5ri"en Happiness$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$6ntroducing 3ery Happy %eople$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$6ntroduction to the Tyler ethod$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$))Harmony of ind$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$),The Cycle of Happiness$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$)7

The Cycle of 8nhappiness$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$)+Three 9ays the Conscious and Subconscious .et :long$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$)(Faith$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$20nspiration; Happiness is mportant$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$249elcome to the Club; Two Secrets of /!treme Happiness$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$24True 3alues; &ne Si#e Fits :ll$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$2+Hints for Happiness$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$26Harmony of ind; Subconscious Forces and Conscious 3alues$$$$$$$$,29hy e"er ade :nybody happy$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$,7Thinking Happy; 'eating 5epression Fore"er$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$,+'ig and Small Choices$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$40

Sol"e the Small %roblems and the 'ig %roblems Sol"e Themsel"es $$$4,Happiness; :ccept >o Substitutes$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$4+3alues are the 'uilding 'locks of Happiness$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$70The Three istakes in 3aluation$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$729hat akes a 3alue True? $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$74True and %ermanent 3alues$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$77The Tyler ethod$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$71

happinessfirst.com 3


4/66

The Greatest Power On Earth

*emember the last time you worked on something that was

important to you and you did a good @ob? *emember the

inspiration the clarity of "alues the purpose that you had? Aou

know it is a funny thing because people sa"e that state of mind

for their special pro@ects but you can ha"e that state of mind

e"eryday$ t takes less energy to make your best choice and less

energy to be in your clearest and most inspired mind$ :nd you

can get to that place in a matter of seconds$

ha"e studied 3ery Happy %eople for years and de"eloped

this simple powerful mental conditioning that you can use to be

so happy people

will smile when you

walk into a room$

Aou are the person

you are meant to be

li"ing the life you

are meant to li"e$Aou do not need to

change yourself to be a 3ery Happy %erson$ n fact 3ery Happy

%eople are not always trying to change themsel"es or other

people$ To be a 3ery Happy %erson you only need to use the

powers you already ha"e$

The method described in this little book uses the greatest


ou are the person youare meant to be, living

the life you are meant tolive. . . .to be a Very HappyPerson you only need touse the powers youalready have.

Y


5/66

power on earthBthe power of your conscious mind to recogni#e

the truthBto help you be happy all the time$ This method is for

e"erybody whate"er work you are doing or whate"er challenge

you are facing in e"ery part of your life$ Aou can use it uickly

and often to help you ha"e a wonderful marriage to help your

kids to help you face any situation with confidence to achie"e

your goals$ Aou can be the happiest person you know$



6/66

The Miracle Of Happiness

/"erybody wants to be happy$ The wish to be happy is the

most uni"ersal impulse of the human mind$ 'ehind all efforts and

pursuits is the wish to be happy$ 9hen you seek prosperity

health beauty knowledge family success appro"al or fame it

is all for the sake of happiness$ 9hen you pray it is for happiness

when you are generous it is to bring happiness to others$ To lo"e

someone is to be

concerned about

their happiness$ The

search for happiness

is the essence of life

and is inseparable

from the will to li"e$ t is e"eryoneDs birthright and the common

ground of the entire human race$ :nd the miracle is that it takes

only a few moments a day to be a 3ery Happy %erson today

e"eryday and for the rest of your life$

Things that are good are good because they bring happinessand things that are bad are bad because they take away

happiness$ 9hen someone is said to be


7/66

any price take any risk to go any distance? s happiness a feeling

or a state of being an e!perience or a possession? t is all of these

things and it is your most basic right$ t only takes a few moments

a day to to claim the happiness that is already within you and be

a 3ery Happy %erson today and e"eryday of your life$

Happiness Inside And Out

Happiness is a state of mind with two parts$ nner happiness

is the inner reali#ation of the important and true$ This happiness

is within you and goes e"erywhere you go$ t is the core of your

being$ t is the freedom compassion worth li"ing$ &uter

happiness is your prosperity lo"ing relationships "itality well

being meaningful work ha"ing fun and helping others$ nner

happiness and outer happiness are like the seed and the flower$

nner happiness when e!pressed in your choices brings outer

happiness$

:s you choose to build your life on your inner happiness

more and more outer happiness follows$ To create happiness in

your life you ha"e to nurture the seed of inner happiness until it

grows into a beautiful strong tree a life well worth li"ing$ Aou

can be happy all the time$ Aou can be @oyful inspired content

and creati"e where"er you are and whate"er you happen to be



8/66

doing$ 9hen you make choices based on your inner happiness

you are preferring the important and true and you are putting

happiness first$

Values-Driven Happiness

Happiness is the creati"e art of ad@ustment to life based on

true "alues$

Introducing Very Happy People

Think of the happiest person you ha"e e"er known$ 9hat

about that person makes them so happy? 9e all know people

who seem to be happy all the time despite the ups and downs of

life and we also know people who are always struggling$ 9hy do

some people seem to be happy all the time? How is it that a

person can o"ercome hard luck and disad"antages to find

happiness?



9/66

Traits O Very Happy People

:lways seem to be in a good mood and put others in a good

mood @ust by being around them$

Eook on the bright side and find the possibilities in

e"ery situation$

5o their best and help others do their best

ake their dreams come true$

:re stable but make changes when they need to$

Take good care of themsel"es and others because they know

e"eryone is important$

5o not waste time or money$

Ha"e selfrespect and selfconfidence$

Care about others but are not controlled by other

peopleDs opinions$

Ha"e clear "alues and strong beliefs but are

not @udgmental$

Stand up for themsel"es and what they belie"e in$

ake peace out of conflict and order out of chaos$

5o not worry$ They make conscious choices then let them goconfident they ha"e done their best$

Find happiness and beauty where"er they go$

3ery Happy %eople are found in all walks of life and all kinds

of places but they all prefer the important o"er the unimportant$

3ery happy %eople are intentional people$Happiness is simply the



10/66

mental habit of preferring the important over the unimportant in all aspects of

life.

How Very Happy People !tay Happy

f you ask a 3ery Happy %erson why they chose one thing

o"er another they can usually tell you why$ f you ask a less hap

py person the same thing they usually do not know$ 3ery Happy

%eople are intentional$ They use their mental powers with

purpose$ There are many different words for the conscious

mental powers that connect you to something greater than your

selfBunderstanding

wisdom insight in

spiration faith truth

Bbut whate"er they

are called 3ery

Happy %eople stay

happy by using true

"alues to sol"e small problems as they go along$ 3ery Happy%eople stay in the Cycle of Happiness by keeping small problems

and mental conflicts from becoming big ones$

They can do this because they know how to choose the

important o"er the unimportant the true o"er the phony and

the lasting o"er the temporary$ f r$ Happyhead you will meet

him a few pagesG gets a bad haircut he laughs it off and does not


ery Happy People stayin the Cycle of

Happiness by keepingsmall problems and mentalconflicts from becomingbig ones.

V


11/66

go back to that barber$ f r$ 8nhappyhead gets a bad haircut

he feels picked on$ 'ecause his selfconfidence is already low the

hack @ob on his hair is @ust more proof that he is a "ictim and the

Cycle of 8nhappiness continues$

3ery Happy %eople carefully control the important things in

life and do not worry about the unimportant things$ Eess happy

people do not use true "alues to choose between the important

and unimportant so they get upset by unimportant things$ Aou

ha"e eyes to see ears to hear and a conscious mind to "aluate

and choose$ 3ery Happy %eople know that e"en a small problemcan spin out of control so they make "aluedri"en choices about

things as they come up$ :s a result 3ery Happy %eople en@oy

harmony of mind$ 3ery Happy %eople also tend to ha"e faith$

They belie"e in themsel"es in life and in something greater than

themsel"es$

Introduction To The Tyler "ethod

3ery Happy %eople think in a special way by doing four

things uickly and often and you can do that too$ The Tyler

ethod conditions your mind to ask four simple uestions$



12/66

)$ Describe problems that need to be solved. 3ery

Happy %eople resol"e mental conflicts uickly and easily$

They know when something needs to be fi!ed especially

when they feel uncomfortable$ They do not @ust go along they

figure out what is bothering them and make ad@ustments$ 'ut

while 3ery Happy %eople do not ignore problems they also

do not o"erreact$ 3ery Happy %eople donDt look for

emergencies and they donDt make any problem the end of the

world$

2$ Know Their Inspiration.3ery Happy %eople donDt doubt

the importance of their li"es$ They may feel down but not

worthless$

,$ Understand the Importance of True Valuation.3ery

Happy %eople ha"e a strong and dynamic understanding of

true "alues$ They keep these "alues in mind at all times and

use them in sol"ing problems$

4$ Make the Best Choice.3ery happy people are good at

making their best choice in matters big and small$ Then they

say


13/66

Har#ony O "ind

Aour mind has two parts; conscious and subconscious$ Aour

conscious mind is the reasoning part that holds your "alues and

uses them to make decisions$ t holds the inspiration and faith

that says


14/66

emotional energy of the subconscious o"erruns the reasoning

powers of the conscious mind$ 9hen the conscious mind is

in"aded by negati"e emotions and impulses it fights back$ This

conflict of mind causes unhappiness$

3ery Happy %eople li"e in ways that load the subconscious

with positi"e energy and positi"e emotions$ They think happy

thoughts say happy words and choose good things to do$ Eess

happy people load the subconscious with negati"e emotions and

negati"e thoughts$ :s a result they make poorer choices based

on less important "alues$The subconscious can uickly make a mess of things when its

impulses conflict with true "alues$ For happiness the conscious

must direct the subconscious$ 9hen you put your inspiration and

"alues in charge of your subconscious you load it with positi"e

thoughts and emotions which in turn gi"e a push to the Cycle of

Happiness$



15/66

The Cycle O Happiness

Aour conscious mind holds your faith inspiration "aluation

and ability to choose$ These powers are stacked from the most

subconscious to the most conscious$ Faith is both subconscious

and conscious passi"ely absorbed from the en"ironment and

acti"ely learned$ nspiration is the fully conscious knowledge that

your life and e"eryones life is important$ r$ Happyhead makes

choices based on inspiration and "aluation and the Cycle of

Happiness gets stronger$ He brings lo"e and prosperity into e"ery

part of his life and feels better about himself$ This in turn loads

his subconscious with positi"e feelings thoughts and desires$

9hen the subconscious is loaded with positi"e mental energy

mental conflict is reduced and it is easier to use conscious

powers$ n this way the Cycle of Happiness creates its own

momentum$

Aour greatest power to make yourself and others happy is

through the power of choice$ This


16/66



17/66

The Cycle O $nhappiness

r$ 8nhappyhead reacts to life directly from his

subconscious mind$ He is not aware of the many opportunities

e"ery day to use his inspiration and "aluation to make conscious

choices$ nstead he bypasses the


18/66



19/66

Three %ays The Conscious And!u&conscious Get Along

!u&conscious Do#inates The Conscious'Very $nhappy(

The raw forces of the subconscious run roughshod o"er the

conscious and a person feels and acts out of control$

Conscious )orces The !u&conscious'!o#ewhat $nhappy(

The conscious mind tries to force the subconscious$ t says


20/66

dri"erDs seat$ They are in touch with negati"e emotions so they

are good at knowing when a problem needs fi!ing$ 3ery Happy

%eople use inspiration to say


21/66

to accept mistreatment from others and enables you to know

who your friends are$ : friend is someone who wants you to be

happy$

Selfrespect is more important than selfesteem$ Selfrespect

is based on a

bedrock of faith so

it holds up under

praise and criti

cism$ Selfesteem is based on what others think so it is easily

damaged$ Selfrespect flows from your connection to innerhappiness to what is important and true so it does not go up

and down like selfesteem$ Selfesteem is based on opinions so it

fluctuates with influences outside your control$ Selfrespect is

inborn and can not be taken away$ Selfesteem has to be built up$

Selfconfidence is the belief that you can put the importance of

your life into action and that you ha"e the power to be happy$

Selfconfidence does not come from others it comes from your

own achie"ements in happiness$

)aith In ,ie

Faith in life is belie"ing that life is important and worth

li"ing$ This is the faith that helps you find happiness where"er

you are and whate"er you are doing$ t means seeing the best in

other people and the possibilities for happiness in e"ery situation$

9rite a personal statement of faith$ nclude faith in yourself your


friend is someone whowants you to be happy.


22/66

life and the source of importance and "alue in your life$ This is a

happiness pep talk you uickly re"iew when you use the Tyler

ethod or whene"er you feel like it$


My Statement of Faith

I believe in myself. I respect myself. I believe I cando my best and solve problems and be happy. My lifeis too important to let any problem get out of hand.


23/66

Do +ou eed To .elieve In GodTo .e Happy/

To be a 3ery Happy %erson you need to li"e as if your life

and e"eryoneDs life is

important$ %eople

can talk about faith

but if they do not

li"e their faith it will

not help them be

happy$ &n the other

hand it is possible

for someone to feel

unsure about .od and yet li"e as if life is important and be a

3ery Happy %erson$ 9hile people of faith tend to be happier

than atheists it is also true that people without any a"owed faith

can be happy$ Happiness is li"ing as if life is sacred and

important$ : person who li"es as if human beings ha"e no inborn

worth whate"er they say about faith can not be "ery happy$

Happiness is the art of staying free of the unimportant$ :nyperson who li"es according to true "alues can be "ery happy$

9hen it comes to happiness what you do with your life is more

important than what you say about your beliefs$


appiness is the art ofstaying free of the

unimportant. !hen itcomes to happiness, what

you dowith your life is

more important than whatyou say about your beliefs.

H


24/66

Inspiration0 Happiness Is I#portant

t is your birthright to be happy but you ha"e to claim that

right$ The key to happiness is to always keep in mind that your

life is special and important$ nspiration is your conscious

connection to that knowledge$

9hen you know your life is important you do your best to

make choices based on true "alues$ 9hen you know your life

really matters you care about yourself and others and you ha"e

hope for the future$ 3ery Happy %eople are inspired people$

%elco#e To The Clu&0 Two !ecrets OE1tre#e Happiness

:ll 3ery Happy %eople know two secrets; happiness is found

in the small things of life and happiness is for right now$ %eople

sometimes stake their happiness on some big thing they arehoping for$ They think


25/66

the occasional big

changes and tri

umphs$ Aou often

hear


26/66

of e"eryday life$ 9e tend to spend too much time on our big

choices and not enough time on the small ones$ 9e ha"e a hard

time making a commitment because we are always trying to get

e!actly what we want in our big choices$ /!treme happiness is

found by making a peace with the big choices and doing your

best with the small e"eryday ones$

%eople sometimes spend years looking for


27/66

Some people get stuck in making a decisions and do not get

to be happy now$ : sense of power comes from keeping options

open and playing the field$ &ften people drag out big decisions

because they are afraid to make a mistake out of the misguided

belief that happiness is a oneshot deal$ They ha"e not yet

learned two secrets; happiness is mainly composed of the small

and thepresent$

True Values0 One !i2e )its All

There is only one set of true "alues$ 9hether you are

deciding what to wear today or who to marry the same

important and true "alues come into play$ 3ery Happy %eople

know that e"en the small choices deser"e to be based on what is

important$ 9hy sa"e your inspired intelligence for the big

decisions? t does not take any more time or energy to disco"er

the truest "alue and make the best choice for any decision small

or large$

&f course it is wise to take time when making a ma@or

decision$ The few big choices you ha"e to make need to be made

thoughtfully$ 'ut your true happiness is a positi"e and creati"e

ad@ustment to the circumstances of e"ery day life most of which

lie outside of your control$ Happiness is li"ed one smile one good



28/66

word one positi"e

thought one helpful

moment at a time$

The secret to happi

ness is to gi"e the

same importance to

small choices as well

as to the few big choices that we mistakenly belie"e are defining

our li"es$ /!treme happiness results from the ability to make

small choices and sol"e small problems uickly using the sameinspiration and "alues as you would for big choices$ n fact it

sa"es time and energy$ Happiness is yours when you use inspired

intelligence and true "alues in the small choices of e"eryday life$

The club of 3ery Happy %eople is looking for new members @oin

todayI

Hints )or Happiness

The source of happiness within you ne"er fails and 3ery

Happy %eople tap into that source through "aluedri"en choices$

3ery Happy %eople get ad"ice when they need it they read

useful books and they a"oid the negati"e stuff$ 'ut bottom line

all help is selfhelp and 3ery Happy %eople know how to sol"e


he secret to happinessis to give e%ual

importance to the smallchoices as to the ma&orchoices that we mistakenlybelieve are defining ourlives.

'


29/66

their own problemsBand e"en more importantly they pre"ent

little problems from growing into big problems$ Aou too can do

that and be a 3ery Happy %erson yourself or learn to do it e"en

better and be e"en happier$ Here are some hints$

34 $nhappiness Is ot The !a#e As !orrow

ost unhappiness is not caused by loss but by mental

conflict$ t is true that "ery sad things happen to people and

sorrow is the natural response but there is a difference between

sorrow and unhappiness$ Sorrow has a way of reminding us of

what is important and true whereas unhappiness has a way of

making us forget what is important and true$ /"en while facing

"ery bad times or grie"ing 3ery Happy %eople make good

choices and find ways to a"oid the Cycle of 8nhappiness$

35 Happiness Is ot The !a#e As Pleasure

Just as unhappiness is different from grief that follows losing

what you lo"e happiness is different from pleasure that follows

getting what you want$ 9e all prefer certain possessionsacti"ities and company$ 9e all ha"e our own likes and dislikes

and it is only natural to feel pleasure when we get what we want

and displeasure when we do not$ There is nothing wrong with

these natural reactions but when a person depends on the

unimportant for their pleasure they tend to become unhappy$



30/66

:ddiction is depend

ing on the unimpor

tant for pleasure

and we all know

how addictions can

put life out of control$ The key to e!treme happiness is not to

stop wanting things but to consistently make choices based on

what is important$ 3ery Happy %eople en@oy their preferences as

much as anyone but because they prefer the important and true

especially in the small choices of e"eryday life they naturallymo"e toward prosperity and peace of mind$

36 .est Choices Choose +ou .ac*

9hen you make a best choice based on true "aluation a

wonderful thing happens; your choice chooses you back$ The

best choice fits right feels right and works right$ The best choice

deepens your selfconfidence$ &ne best choice has a momentum

that leads to another$ 3ery Happy %eople tend to choose the

people places and things that choose them back$

37 The .est Choice Is ot Always )orever

9hat about the choice that was good at the time but not

fore"er? 9hat about the commitment that worked for a time and

then had to change the marriage that was happy for a time and


hen a person dependson the unimportant

for their pleasure, theytend to become unhappy.


31/66

produced beautiful children but then had to end? 9hat about

the career that had to end? 9e li"e in times of di##ying change

and are under non

stop pressure to try

new things and ad

@ust to new circum

stances$ 9e ha"e to

constantly ree"alu

ate and change our

outer li"es @ust tokeep up with the swiftly changing world$ 9e are always asking

oursel"es


32/66

n todays world ha"ing to make changes does not necessarily

mean a choice was wrong$ Here is a hint$ 9hen you ha"e to

make a ma@or change you do not ha"e to rewrite history to do it$

Sometimes when people want to make a ma@or change they

con"ince themsel"es that a reasonable choice made in the past

was a bad choice$ : husband or wife who was once a good

person becomes a bad person the career that was once fulfilling

becomes boring$ *ewriting history does not make you happy it

tends to make you feel regret and lose the happiness that you did

ha"e$

Har#ony O "ind0 !u&conscious )orcesAnd Conscious Values

3ery Happy %eople are found in all walks of life in all parts

of the world and in all races and religions$ 'ut all 3ery Happy

%eople ha"e one thing in common; they en@oy harmony of mind$

They know how to resol"e conflicts between subconscious forces

and conscious "alues$

The conscious and subconscious parts of your mind are "ery

different they learn in different ways do different @obs and ha"e

different powers$ Aou use the conscious part of your mind to

make decisions$ t gi"es you the power of choice based on



33/66

"aluation$ The larger subconscious has the emotional energy to

go the distance$ The subconscious and conscious are like the

horse and rider$ The horse has the strength to carry the rider

great distances but the rider has to be in control to get where he

wants to go$

The conscious part of your mind is aware intentional and

acti"e but it can only process a small amount of information at a

time$ t learns acti"ely by e"aluating the results of trial and error$

The conscious part of your mind makes your choices and plans

your life$ The powers that enable you to be happyByourinspiration "aluation and choiceBare all powers of the

conscious mind$

The subconscious part of your mind is passi"e and non

intentional$ t stores all of your memories and learns passi"ely$

The subconscious tries to get pleasure and a"oid pain but it can

not tell the difference between pleasure that leads to happiness

and pleasure that leads to unhappiness$ The subconscious soaks

up pleasure indiscriminately$ Still your subconscious plays a big

part in your happiness$ 5esires emotions and memories are

stored in the subconscious$ 3ery Happy %eople load their

subconscious minds with positi"e thoughts and a"oid negati"e

influences$ Eess happy people allow negati"e influences to pile up

in the subconscious mind$

: sure sign of a master is economy of effort$ 3ery Happy

%eople ha"e mastered the art of "aluesdri"en li"ing so for them



34/66

it takes @ust a small effort to keep the cycle of happiness going$

3ery Happy %eople do not spend a lot of time worrying o"er a

decision$ 9hen they make a decision they can usually tell you

why they chose one thing o"er another$ f you are basing your

choices on "alues you can not help but know what those "alues

are$ : less happy person is not as clear about their "alues and

often can not tell why they chose one thing o"er another$

ost unhappi

ness is caused by

conflict between theconscious and sub

conscious parts of

your mind$ 9hen

subconscious desires fears and memories conflict with conscious

"alues and beliefs you feel confusion worry and doubt$ ental

conflict lea"es you with a sense that something is wrong$ t also

causes selfdoubt$ 9hen mental conflict is se"ere the Cycle of

8nhappiness begins$ : person loses confidence and makes poor

choices loading the subconscious with negati"e emotional

energy$ This leads to more mental conflict$ &n the other hand

3ery Happy %eople en@oy harmony of mind because the

important "alues of their conscious mind are in control of their

choices$ These choices load the subconscious with positi"e

emotional energy and this leads to harmony of mind$


ost unhappiness iscaused by conflict

bet#een the conscious andsubconscious parts of yourmind.

%


35/66

%hy 8Tal*9 Therapyever "ade Any&ody Happy

t has been understood for many years that conflict between

the conscious and subconscious parts of the mind causes mental

problems$ That idea is the basis of all the different kinds of


36/66

talk therapy is short on it$

)$ Talk therapy is basically negati"e$ t gi"es too much attention

to the negati"e feelings and forces in the subconscious and not

enough attention to "alues$ 9hen you spend a lot of time

thinking about unhappiness and mental conflicts without

applying inspiration and "aluation you end up gi"ing power

to the conflicts and nothing to their solutions$

2$ Happiness is creati"e ad@ustment to life based on true "alues$t may be interesting to e!plore the subconscious part of your

mind but if you want to be happy do not spend too much

time del"ing into your subconscious$ Aou are better off

loading your subconscious mind with positi"e thoughts and let

it be$

,$ Talk therapy o"eremphasi#es feelings which arise in the

subconscious part of the mind$ The subconscious can be

loaded with good feelings through good choices and good

e!periences or bad feelings through bad e!periences$ Feelingsare like cargo in a ship; they ha"e a lot to do with how the

ship handles but by themsel"es they can not steer the ship to

the port of happiness$

:ll help is selfhelp$ Howe"er the allimportant connection



37/66

between the conscious and subconscious mind has been

o"erlooked by the selfhelp mo"ement$ 8ntil now$ The Tyler

ethod fills that gap in selfhelp psychology by helping you use

the powers of your conscious mindBinspiration "aluation and

choiceBto create the happiness you deser"e$

Thin*ing Happy0

.eating Depression )orever

Eife in"ol"es so many choices it is not possible to be entirely

free from mental conflict$ 9hether you are rich and famous or

leading a uiet life e"eryone has to deal with conflicting desires

and emotions$ Aour mind has the @ob of maintaining balance

among these pressures and forces but this balance is continually

disturbed by internal mental conflicts$ ost of these are small

worries doubts and hangups the negati"e thoughts and

emotional reactions that bug us and cause a small but

manageable amount of worry and distress$ 'ut e"ery now and

then a mental conflict takes hold and really knocks a person for a

loop$ Eoop is the right word because the mind gets stuck in a

loop of mental conflict that plays o"er and o"er$ Sometimes the

mental conflict is so se"ere the mind gi"es up and there is

depression$



38/66

The only differ

ence between so

called


39/66

any form of mental health treatment$

The key to hap

piness is in the

thinking powers of

the conscious mind$

9hen a person be

comes depressed

these powers lose

strength$ 5epressed

people often feel like they are in a fog they stop thinking clearlythey lose confidence and become indecisi"e or feel helpless and

that there is no way out$ 'ut there is something you can do to

kickstart the Cycle of Happiness at your own pace without cost

or sideeffects or scheduling an appointment with anybody$ The

Tyler ethod works with other forms of treatment and unlike

medication and talk therapy it not only treats the problem it is

the solution.

/"erybody has mental conflicts because the mind is mainly

dri"en by forces in the subconscious$ uch if not most of the

time we li"e by reacting to impulses that arise in thesubconscious mind$ &ften these forces come into conflict with

the "alues and beliefs of the conscious mind$ The impulses of the

subconscious mind are swift and strong and they influence what

we say and do before we e"en know it$ There is no shame in

being depressed$ &n the contrary "ery sensiti"e lo"ing and


he 'yler *ethod workswith other forms of

treatment, and unlikemedication and talktherapy, it not only treatsthe problem, it is thesolution.

'


40/66

idealistic people are often more prone to mental conflict and

therefore to depression$ f a person is especially caring gentle

and idealistic there is often a more se"ere conflict between the

memories and feelings carried in the subconscious and their

conscious "alues and ideals$ For such idealistic people using the

powers of inspiration and "aluation can lead to especially

dramatic and positi"e changes$ &ther therapies do not

emphasi#e these powers but they are what make the The Tyler

ethod work$

.ig And !#all Choices

'ig choices direct the e!ternal course or structure of your

life$ These choices are the relati"ely few big decisions that gi"e

shape to your life$ 9here to li"e what work to do who to marry

are e!amples of big choices$ Aou make big choices only from

time to time so you are likely to gi"e them uite a bit of thought$

'ig choices usually in"ol"e a certain amount of mental

conflict due to competing "alues$ &ne course taken means

another course has to be gi"en up one set of hopes fulfilled

means another has to be forgotten$ Aou really want to get your

big choices right because you know you will be li"ing with them

for a long time so you probably make them consciously and try



41/66

to get them right$ :nd you are also likely to get help from others

in making those big choices$

&n the other hand you also make many small choices

e"eryday$ The things you say the places you go the company

you keep what you buywhat you eat and drink and wear what

you read and T3 and so on$ /"en though these small decisions

are the real workings of happiness most of us make them

unconsciously and automatically$ 9e tend to think we can pay a

lot of attention to the big choices and the small choices will take

care of themsel"es$ 'ut happiness does not work like that$ n factthat is @ust the opposite of what we need to do to be happy$

Happiness is

mainly gained by

preferring the im

portant in small

choices$ &"er time

good big choices

such as marrying a

good person and

getting a good edu

cation can be spoiled by poor small choices$ .ood small choices

can fill a modest life with @oy$ %oor small choices can make e"en

a wealthy or unfortunate life unhappy$ %referring the important

in small choices can o"ercome disappointment but poor small

choices can cast a shadow o"er a life that is blessed with little dis


appiness is mainlygained by preferring

the important in smallchoices. +ver time, goodbig choices, such asmarrying a good personand getting a goodeducation, can be spoiledby poor small choices.

H


42/66

appointment$ 3ery Happy %eople are good at making a lot of

happiness from @ust

small decisions be

cause they use im

portant "alues for

e"ery choice the

small ones as well as

the big$ 9hether you are deciding to wear @eans or the

conser"ati"e suit or whether to get married or not when a

decision is based on true "alues things work out for the best$'ig choices are usually made intentionally and small choices

tend to be dri"en by subconscious reactions so people blame

their big choices when they are unhappy$ %eople think


43/66

cheerful honest energetic and take good care of their health

find that doors open to them$ :s a result they ha"e more options

in their big choices$ %eople who are negati"e gloomy or not

uite on the up and up in their small choices ha"e fewer options

in their big choices$

Eike the old saying take care of the pennies and the dollars

will take care of themsel"es if you take care of the small choices

the big choices will take care of themsel"es$

!olve The !#all Pro&le#s And The .igPro&le#s %ill !olve The#selves

The miracle of happiness is yours when you make it a habit

to make choices that reflect true "alues$ %referring the important

brings peace of mind @oy and freedom$ 'eing controlled by the

unimportant brings uneasiness frustration and confusion$ 9hen

your mind has difficulty determining the important and making

the best choice it is because of mental conflictByou do not know

your own mind you are not sure what you want$ 9hen your

mind is in conflict you say one thing and do another waste time

and effort and do things that feel wrong$

The key to remaining happy through the ups and downs of

life is maintaining your connection with what is important and



44/66

true$ f e"eryone has inborn inspiration and faith why do we

make so many mistakes? 9hy is there so much unhappiness?

'ecause the subconscious has its own desires and impulses that

can not choose the important$

The largest part

of the mind is the

subconscious$ t

holds thoughts feel

ings and desires re

lated to the bodyand it also holds

unimportant desires from the outside world$ n addition the

world is also constantly loading the subconscious with

unnecessary fear$ The feelings desires and impulses of the

subconscious are so forceful when the subconscious o"erwhelms

the conscious mind a person ends up making poor choices or is

dri"en by subconscious reactions and does not make choices at

all$ 9hen you do something you do not really want to do self

respect and selfconfidence suffer and the Cycle of 8nhappiness

begins$ 3ery Happy %eople sol"e the small problems as they go

along so the Cycle of 8nhappiness does not ha"e a chance to

begin$ 9hat is the difference between a small problem and a big

problem? : small problem becomes a big problem when the

Cycle of 8nhappiness begins$ :lso a conflict is sure to reappear

in some different form if it has not been intelligently resol"ed$


hat is the differencebetween a small

problem and a big problem- small problem becomes abig problem when the Cycleof nhappiness begins.

!


45/66

'ecause The Tyler ethod works so well with "ery small

problems it helps stop the Cycle of 8nhappiness$ 9hen a person

is in that cycle it works best to break the big problem into smaller

ones rather than try to tackle e"erything at once$ The way to do

that is to ask


46/66

want to do$ n order to resol"e a conflict sol"e a problem or

make your best choice it needs to be brought to the conscious

mind$

Aou do not ha"e

to del"e deeply into

your subconscious

go into hypnosis or

lie on a couch to re

sol"e hidden mental

conflicts$ 3ery Happy %eople spend a

few moments se"eral

times a day bringing

conflicts to the surface of the conscious mind to resol"e them$

9hen something makes 3ery Happy %eople uncomfortable they

pay attention to it out of selfrespect$ %ay close attention to those

"ague uneasy reluctant feelings$ >otice when you feel

uncomfortable what is going on who you are with$ :sk yourself


47/66

your @udgment$ Aou are the e!pert of your own mind you know

what is bothering you$ Aour mind really wants to be harmonious

and happy$ f you gi"e it a chance and listen it will tell you what

the trouble is$ 9holehearted happiness is the natural condition

of your mind$ 5o not settle for anything lessI

Happiness0 Accept o !u&stitutes

Happiness is a miracle that increases when it is shared$ :s

you claim more and more happiness you make others happy too$

Aou do not ha"e to be worried that your happiness will make

somebody else unhappy$ 9e all benefit from each others

happiness$ Happiness makes you a better partner and friend$

Aour happiness might not be what another person wants but it is

what they need$ f you gi"e people what they want against your

own inner truth it will not work in the long run$

&nce you are determined to claim happiness the path is

easier than you think$ 9hy then are so many people unhappy?

'ecause it is also human nature to be tricked into belie"ing in the

unimportant$

f you commit to using you mind to choose the important

o"er the unimportant you can do it$ &nce you ha"e made a firm

decision to be happy nothing can stand in your way$ Here are



48/66

some happiness drains to watch out for$

Happiness Drain 340 %orry

9orry is counterfeit "aluation and probably the most

common happiness drains$ >o amount of worrying will change

the past and most things that people worry about for the future

do not happen$ f they do they are usually not as bad as they

were e!pected to be$ 9orry ne"er helped anybody or anything$

t clutters up the mind and makes it more difficult to use the

powers of inspiration "aluation and best choice$ f you e"er find

yourself worrying use The Tyler ethod then say


49/66

Happiness Drain 360 )ault-inding

>othing is perfect$ t is always possible to find imperfections

in anything$ The habit of criticism might make a person feel

superior but selfrespect and selfconfidence remo"e the need to

prop oneself up at the cost of others$ Criticism tends to focus on

the unimportant which is why it di"ides people$ 3ery Happy

%eople look for the good beautiful and the important

e"erywhere and in e"erything$

Happiness Drain 370 Victi#i2ation

Some people say they want to be happy but other people will

not let them$ n this way they stop thinking for themsel"es and

let other people interfere with their best choices$ t is "ery simple;

no one has the power to take away your happiness if you are

determined to ha"e it$

Happiness Drain 3:0 Disli*ing The %orld

%eople are united by what is important and di"ided by whatis unimportant$ 9hen we focus on the important we are brought

together and when we focus on the unimportant we are di"ided$

3ery Happy %eople focus on what is important in life and do not

waste energy being cross with the imperfections of the world$



50/66

Values Are The .uilding .loc*so Happiness

&f all the creatures on the planet human beings are uniuely

able to make themsel"es happy through the power of "aluation$

3alues are the :'CDs of truth and 3ery Happy %eople know this

alphabet$

There are two kinds of knowledge; facts and "alues$ Facts are

bits of information that describe things and "alues are

assessments of the worth and importance of things$ 'oth facts

and "alues reuire thought to understand but "alues are much

more important to happiness than facts$ 'y itself no fact has

much importance$ 'oth facts and "alues can be @udged to be true

or false in "arying degrees but a fact can be important only when

it relates to a "alue in some way$ For instance it might be a fact

that a certain person is the mayor of a small city in %eru but

unless you are interested in that city the mayorDs name is a fact

with "ery little "alue to your happiness$

Facts become important for happiness when they help you tounderstand a "alue and when they help you "aluate$ Facts can

gi"e you the means to something important and they can also

help you "aluate the importance of something$ :n e!ample of

the first case is the combination to a safe that holds all your mon

ey$ The numbers in the combination ha"e no "alue in

themsel"es but they become important because they enable you



51/66

to get into the safe

and get your money$

:n e!ample of a fact

that assists in

"aluation is the

safety record of an

automobile you are

thinking about buying$ Aou could use that fact to determine the

carDs safety$ 'ut unless you "alue safety in the first place the fact

has no importance$ For instance a person can know that eatingchocolate cake is bad for their health but unless the cake lo"er

acts upon the "alue that health is important he will keep

stopping at e"ery bakery$

nformation by itself can not help you make the best choice

and be happy$ 'rainy and informed people can be "ery unhappy

and make others unhappy if they do not use true "aluation and

people without college degrees can be "ery happy and make

others happy if they prefer the important and "aluate well$ For

e!ample it often happens that a less happy person can know the

why doing something is harmful but continue to do it anyway$

9e can all think of e!amples of facts not being enough to make

us happy$ The point is factual knowledge alone can not make

you happy$ Aou ha"e to turn your intellectual knowledge o"er to

true "alues and then put those "alues into action$

Just as there are two kinds knowledge there are two kinds of


person can know thateating chocolate cake is

bad for their health, butunless the cake lover actsupon the value that healthis important, he will keepstopping at every bakery.


52/66

mistakes; )G belie"ing something is a fact when it is not a fact

and 2G mistakes in "aluation$ The second kind of mistake is what

makes or breaks happiness$ To be "ery happy you ha"e to a"oid

mistakes of "aluation$

The Three "ista*es In Valuation

)$ Taking as important that which is unimportant$2$ Taking as unimportant that which is important$

,$ >ot gi"ing to something its real importance$

The first kind of mistake in "aluation that causes unhappiness

is when a person does not understand what is important in their

life$ :n e!ample of this mistake is someone lea"ing their family to

@oin a meditation ashram$ Caring for your family is more

important than meditation$

The second kind of mistake is when a person does not

understand what is unimportant in life$ :n e!ample that mistake

is a young girl who wrecks her health through dieting in order to

be e!tremely thin$ Health is important Eooking thin is

unimportant compared to health$

The third kind of mistake in "aluation is when a person

misunderstands the real importance of something$ :n e!ample of



53/66

gi"ing something the wrong importance is being friends with a

person you do not like much because he or she is wealthy$

oney is important but it is not the most important reason to be

somebodyDs friend$

t is a myth that

facts are as

important as "alues$

Truth sets you free

not information$ :

lot of harm has been done in belie"ing that all people need isfacts and not "alues to make the best choice$ For e!ample

knowing a lot about a spouse will not by itself pre"ent a married

couple from fighting like cats and dogs$ They ha"e to prefer the

important "alues of lo"e and respect in order to get along$ n

truth most conflict in marriage and other relationships is caused

by mistaken "aluation not by poor communication$

&n a worldwide le"el if information pre"ented conflict we

would all be in hea"en already$ 'etter information and commu

nication do not automatically lead to peace$ f you scratch the

surface of unhappiness you will find a mistake in "aluation$ &"er

time mistakes in "aluation spoil happiness much more than

mistakes in facts$ Still it is easier than you might think to a"oid

mistakes in "aluation$ t only takes a few moments of thought to

determine what is important and that is the key to happiness$


n a worldwide level, ifinformation prevented

conflict we would all be inheaven already.

+


54/66

%hat "a*es A Value True/

Truth is greatest power in creation$ True "alues are absolute

important and uni"ersal$ They are intrinsic which means they

are part of the fabric of life$ For e!ample your life is sacred and

important in itself and those ualities can ne"er be taken away$

True "alues are permanent$ They are not liable to change from

time to time or from person to person while less true "alues are

related to wants opinions or theories$ They are relati"e and

impermanent liable to change from time to time and from

person to person$ True "alues are uni"ersal and unifying$ Eess

true "alues apply to some people but not others$

/"ery person is born with a sense of true "alues$ The key to

happiness is to use that sense intentionally to create a "alue

dri"en life$ *eligion and education are helpful when they gi"e

people the words and principles to put true "alues into action

but they are not helpful when they teach false "alues or lead

people to be preoccupied with the unimportant$

The truth of your "alues is found in the silence betweenwords$ That is why it is so difficult to put into words what a "alue

means$ True "alues are uni"ersal and different aspects of the

same Truth$ f understanding were a matter of finding the right

words than ha"ing a big "ocabulary would guarantee happiness$

'ut happiness is not only a matter of finding the right words it is

a matter of li"ing your inspired truth$



55/66

True And Per#anent Values

HereDs a good start$ Aou can add other "alues to this list$

:daptability:uthenticity'alance'ene"olence'oldnessCheerfulnessChildlikeCharityClarityCommitmentCommon SenseCompassionComposureContentmentConsiderationConstancyCourageCreati"ity

5ecisi"eness5edication5etermination5e"otion5ignity5irectness/uanimity

/nthusiasmFairnessFaithfulnessFidelityForbearanceForgi"enessForthrightnessFortitudeFriendship.enerosity.oodness.ratitude.raciousnessHappinessHarmlessnessHelpfulnessHonestyHonor

HopefulnessHumilityHumorntegritynitiati"eJoyfulnessLindness

Eo"eEoyaltyercy&ptimism%atience%eacefulness%ersistence%oise%racticality%urity*ationality*easonableness*esourcefulness*espect*esolutionSelfConfidenceSelfControlSelf*espect

SerenitySer"iceSimplicitySincerityTolerance9isdomMestII



56/66

The Tyler "ethod

Congratulations you are ready to become a 3ery Happy

%erson and li"e a 3alues5ri"en EifeI f you are already a 3ery

Happy %erson you can become e"en happier$ This method has

four straightforward steps and takes only a minute or two$ t can

be used to uickly get past anything that is making you or the

people you lo"e unhappy or uncomfortable no matter how big

or small$ Aou can use this method while dri"ing e!ercising

listening to music or doing anything that allows you to think

about other things$ 3ery Happy %eople go through this same

process whene"er they ha"e a problem$ n fact The Tyler

ethod is how 3ery Happy %eople think$ The more you use this

method the happier you will be$

:s you learn this method you might try to use it throughout

the day$ Aou might say


57/66

IMPORTANT

(f a problem in!ol!es physical !iolence or a threat

of !iolence, do not try to sol!e it alone. )ery *appy

+eople do not tolerate !iolence or threats and they

"et help #hen they need it.

%hat This "ethod Does

This is a method of mental conditioning that helps you to;

ake the best choices and change them when necessary$

Stop thinking about a problem all the time$ Aou can think

about a problem in a "aluesdri"en way for a few moments at

a time and then think about other things$

5o what you choose to do and then let it go$

Lnow you ha"e done your best whate"er happens$

%rotect you from o"erreacting and losing it$

This method is a creati"e way to condition your mind to the

happiness within$ t is creati"e because you claim your own

inspiration and identify your own "alues$ t is a trip to the "alues

mall to get whate"er you need whene"er you need it and that

keeps the method fresh and interesting$ This method is designed



58/66

to be quick$ n this method connecting to your happiness is not a

matter of the numbera words you use but rather of using the right

words$ :s you are learning to condition your mind it helps to use

this method se"eral times a day$ The more you connect to

inspiration the stronger it becomes$ The more you spend your treasure

of values, the more you have to spend!

The )our !teps

T!" #. D!C$IB! T%! "$&B'!M

The first step is to come up with a few words describing the

problem you are facing$ Say


59/66

e calm.5escribe the problem not your feelings about the

problem$ This will help you make a "aluesdri"en choice$

e specific.The more specific your descriptions the easier it is

to make your best choice$


60/66

nspiration is the uickest and most important step$ : person

can be taught about true "alues but he or she has to be inspired to

put those "alues into action$ Saying the words out loud or writing

them down is like turning the lights on$ t takes only a moment

but makes e"erything else possible by consciouslyreconnecting you

to your sacred and important core of inner happiness$ t is a

@oyful moment and you can ha"e it many times a day$

T!" +, T$U! V*'U*TI&)

:sk yourself


61/66

The "ethod At A Glance

Step 1

Describe The ProblemThe problem I want to

solve is . . .

Every problem is worth solving in a

values-driven way.

Stay in the present.

Be calm and specific.

Separate yourself from the

problem. Break a big problem into little

problems.

Try not to exaggerate or deny the

problem.

Step 2Inspiration

Why is it important tosolve this problem?

You are reminding yourself that your life

and everyone's life is important.

Step 3

Valuation

What values do I want toguide me in this choice?

Look at the list on page 55, or add other

true and important values to this list.

Step 4

Best Choice

What is my best choiceat this time?

If an answer does not immediately come

to mind, keep using the method. Put your

best choice into action and know you havedone your best.



62/66

E1a#ples

Caren;s )un*y !on

Caren does a great @ob of talking about the problem in

specific terms without talking about her son in general or her

feelings about her boy$ She put her problem with her son in


Step 1. Describe The Problem

My son Micah wont ta!e abath every day.

Step ". Inspiration#hy is it important tosolve this problem$

%ecause I love Micah and I

want our family to be happy.

Step &. 'aluation'alues I wish to (ffirm in solvingthis problem)

*onsideration+ patience+understanding+ self,respect+

common sense

Step -. %est *hoiceTell Micah he needs to batheor shower everyday. Thats arule of the house. e /00DSto show that considerationfor us.

I have done my best.


63/66

perspecti"e and remembered the important that he is a good

person and much lo"ed$

:s Caren repeated the Tyler ethod se"eral times a day she

communicated to icah he needed to make this change$ icah

resisted at first but after a few days he also starting using the

method to deal with the problem of his cleanliness habits and

after a few days more he decided to take more showers$ 'ut what

if icah had kept refusing to be cleaner? CarenDs description of

the problem would ha"e changed and her choices about what to

do would ha"e been different too$ 'ut whether things impro"euickly or slowly it always helps to keep your inspiration and

"aluation in mind$ t is good to be creati"e and to limit the time

you spend on problems so they donDt take o"er your life$

'ut what about problems that cannot be sol"ed uickly?

5oes the Tyler ethod still work with difficult problems that go

on for some time? Aes$ HereDs an e!ample;

Cedric;s asty eigh&or

Cedric had owned and li"ed in a duple! apartment for about

fi"e years when a nasty neighbor mo"ed in to the other half of his

house$ The neighbor made loud noises late at night complained

unreasonably about CedricDs dog *ocky and was generally un

pleasant when they saw each other$ Cedric was finishing up

school to become a paramedic and he was under a lot of pres



64/66

sure$ He used this method a lot o"er the ne!t few weeks to keep

his cool make best choices and keep his focus on his schooling$

The neighbor did not seem to care much when Cedric spoke

to him the ne!t day and the problems did not stop$



My neighbor is movingfurniture at two in themorning and wa!ing me up.

Step ". Inspiration#hy is it important to solvethis problem$My education is veryimportant to me. I wont letthis guy !eep me from mygoal of becoming a paramedic.

Step &. 'aluation'alues I want to affirm insolving this problem)

Self,espect+ Practicality+*ommitment+ Determination

Step -. %est *hoice

Put ear plugs in. Tal! to myneighbor tomorrow. Ive donemy best+ let it go.


65/66

CedricDs neighbor did not change into a more decent person

and e"entually Cedric decided to sell his duple! and mo"e$ Thatwas not what he wanted to do at first but o"er time he

strengthened his "aluedri"en powers his "iew of what is

important and he mo"ed on happily$ 9hen Cedric finished

school he sold his duple! for a tidy sum got a good @ob in his

chosen profession and mo"ed to a friendlier place$ He and



/eighbor becomes ungluedwhen my dog steps on his sideof the lawn.

Step -. %est *hoice

2eep oc!y off neighborslawn+ !eep cool if oc!ystrays. Don3t let this guydistract me from school. Ivedone my best+ let it go.

Step &. 'aluation'alues I wish to (ffirm in solvingthis problem)

Self,respect+ practicality.

Step ". Inspiration#hy is it important to solvethis problem$

0ducation is very important+ Ilove my dog.


66/66

*ocky are doing great$ Cedric used inspiration and "aluation to

stay connected to what was important$ :ffirming true "alues

again and again is a creati"e process that enabled Cedric to see

all the possibilities in his situation$ He refused to let his neighbor

ruin his life$

'y repeatedly reminding himself of the true "alues in his life

Cedric held on to what was most important during that time his

life$ The method did not magically transform his neighbor but it

did pre"ent CedricDs life from sliding into crisis$ He had not

planned to mo"e right after school but it became clear that washis best choice for se"eral reasons and it worked out greatI

Aou ha"e @ust learned a simple method of mental condition

ing that will help you to li"e a "aluesdri"en life$ Happiness is

made possible by creati"e ad@ustment in the light of true "alues$

Aou can use this method for all problems and all conflicts open

and hidden$ Aou can ne"er be too happy$ .od 'less AouI


Documents

Happiness First by Dr.Sweeta Tyler