HABIT 4 THINK WIN-WIN

Life is an all you can eat buffet

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83gzM4HyQ9I

“What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?”

Georg Eliot, Author

• Two friends were being chased by a bear, when one turned to the other and said, “I just realized that I don’t need to outrun the bear; I only need to outrun you.”

Win-Lose thinking will always fill your heart with negative feelings.

• Think win-win is an attitude toward life, a mental frame of mind that says I can win, and so can you.

• It’s not me or you, it’s both of us.

• Thinking Win-Win is the foundation for getting along well with other people.

• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNu6ZCvLHmc

• It begins with the belief that we are all equal, that no one is inferior or superior to anyone else, and no one really needs to be.

Beyond Win-win

The Orange quarrel:• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v

=6OPzgWIAGao

Win-win is not:

• Win-Lose• Lose-Win• Lose-Lose

Win-Lose?• Read Page 147• Win-lose is an attitude toward life that says

the pie of success is only so big, and if you get a big piece there is less for me.

• Win-lose is competitive• Win-lose is full of prideC.S.Lewis wrote, “Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man… It is the comparison that makes you proud, the pleasure of being about the rest.

Rodney’s story

• Read page 148-149

The Faces of a Win-Lose Attitude

• Using other people, emotionally or physically, for your own selfish purposes.

• Trying to get ahead at the expense of another.• Spreading rumors about someone else• Always insisting on getting your way without

concerning yourself with the feelings of others• Becoming jealous & envious when something

good happens to someone close to you.

Lose-Win…The Doormat

• Are you the big peacemaker? Would you rather take the blame for just about anything rather than get into an argument? Do you find yourself saying, “I am dumb…”

If you can identify with the previous statements.. • Then you have fallen into the trap of Lose-

Win. Lose-Win looks pretty on the surface, but it’s as dangerous as Win-Lose.

• It’s the doormat syndrome.• It says, “Have your way with me. Wipe

your feet on me. Everyone else does.”• Read page 150-151

How to stop

• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejNwZXaT-Kc

Lose-Lose The Downward Spiral

• Says, “If I’m going down, then you’re going down with me, sucker.”

After all, misery enjoys company.

Example: “If I can’t have Jeff, I’m sure as heck not going to let my friend Sarah have him.”

Lose-Lose brings out the worst in those involved.

• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOAPDVfwT5o

• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_MAbLFd2zY

Win-Win The all-you-can-eat buffet!• A belief that everyone can win. It’s both

nice and tough all at once. • “I won’t step on you, but I won’t be your

doormat either.• You care about other people and you want

them to succeed as well.• Win-win is abundant• It is a belief that there is plenty of success

to go around.

It’s an all you can eat buffet.• It’s not a matter of who gets the

biggest piece of the pie. There’s more than enough for everyone.

• Read page152-153

Win-win always creates more.

• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtslBabKQ3Q

• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVlaAIJC4eM

How to Think Win-Win• Win the private victory first page 154• Personal security is the foundation for

thinking Win-Win• Avoid the tumor twins: Competing and

comparing. • It is virtually impossible to think Win-Win

with competing and comparing around.

A famous college coach once said:• “the two worst traits an athlete can have

are fear of failure and an inordinate desire to win, or a win-at-any-cost attitude.

Comparing is competition’s twin:

• Life is like a great obstacle course. Each person has their own course, separated from every other course by tall walls. Your course comes complete with customized obstacles designed specifically for your personal growth.

• So what good does it do to climb the wall to see how well your neighbor is doing or check out his obstacles in comparison to your own?

• Read 157-158

The Fruits of the Win-Win Spirit• Never underestimate what can happen

when someone thinks Win-Win. • Read p 159• Win-Win is contagious• If you are big-hearted, committed to

helping others succeed, and willing to share recognition, you’ll be a magnet for friends.

Walk the dog or do dishes?• Page 159

When you can’t find a win-win solution…

• Don’t get ugly yourself (win-lose)• Don’t get stepped on (Lose-Win)• Go for the win-win or No Deal• If you can’t find a solution that works for

both of you, decide not to play. No Deal.• 15 year old Bryan was taught win-win

by his father. Here is his story…page 160

It’s won’t be easy…• But then… most things that are difficult

are worth much more than things that are easy.

• One of the most surprising benefits of thinking Win-Win is the good feelings it brings on.

• True story…page161

The true test is how you feel.• Win-Lose and Lose-win thinking will cloud

your judgment and fill you with negative feelings.

• Thinking Win-Win will fill your heart with happy and serene thoughts.

• It will give you confidence.• Even fill you with light.

Coming Attractions

• In the upcoming lesson, you will learn the secret to getting under your parents’ skin in a positive way