1 INT. POWER TIME GYM – DAY 1

JOSH is filling a water cup at his company’s water cooler in the early of the morning. A skinny and dorky looking employee named MELVIN approaches Josh panting from excitement.

MELVIN Josh! Tell me you had the pleasure of reading the new article on how the presence of 7UP antioxidants can actually increase the production of –

JOSH (shaking head) I got some paperwork to do, Melvin.

Josh enters into the workroom where CHARLEY is seen working out with a woman at the bench press machine. The customer is struggling while Charley is spotting behind her and attempting to motivate.

CHARLEY

There is only 95 pounds on here, lady! I lifted more when I was 10 years old, no lie. You are better than this, or at least I hope.

WOMAN

I’m doing the best I can. I haven’t lifted weights in years.

CHARLEY This is making me sick. (seeing Josh) Hey Joshy, how about you come over here and help this woman lift? You are more her strength level anyway, puss.

Josh approaches the woman at the machine while Charley walks off uninterested.

JOSH

I’m sorry about him, miss. He isn’t exactly the best with customers. I’m sorry you had to deal with that.

WOMAN

(upset) Well I won’t be worrying about dealing with it anymore. (walking out) Best of luck to your establishment.

A clean cut man in a business suit walks into the building as the woman is

leaving. He looks around as if he can’t find what he is looking for. He approaches Josh.

UNKNOWN MAN Is there a manager here I could speak with?

JOSH

He is out at lunch at the moment. Anything I could help you with, Mr…?

UNKNOWN MAN The name’s Smith, DONALD SMITH. I’m a local… entrepreneur, if you will. An investor. I spend my time finding hidden local business gems and, if I’m satisfied with how they do business, investing in them.

JOSH (confused) So you kind of just...

MR. SMITH I’ll put it simple for you. I’m willing to give your business a generous contribution of my own personal money if I see potential in this establishment.

JOSH And what’s the catch, Mr. Smith?

MR. SMITH If there is an increase in sales the following quarter, I received a %5 cut of the profits for the following x amount of quarters and blah, blah, blah. It’s not important. It’s a matter I will potentially have to discuss with the manager, anyway. Now, if you don’t mind, I would like to just observe a normal day here at the gym to see if I would be interested in doing business with you. How does that sound?

JOSH Sure. I suppose there’s no harm in just watching.

MR. SMITH Excellent. I will make myself at home. Hell, if this deal works out maybe I could afford a new home, ha ha! (exits to bathroom)

Josh privately announces to everyone

the situation at stake and that everyone should try and be on their best behavior in order to interest the investor. Upon finishing his story, Mr. Smith exits the bathroom.

MR. SMITH Alright, time to watch this place in action!

Mr. Smith makes his way over to a not so good looking female employee by the name of MARIA, who is looking at an episode of Cosmo intently. A customer walks in and Maria gets up from her seat and approaches him at the front counter.

MARIA

Hey there, MR. WALLACE! Are you ready for your workout this afternoon?

MR. WALLACE (reluctant) Uh, yeah. Just a 20 minute workout this time.

Maria and Mr. Wallace make their way across the workout room to begin their session. Mr. Smith watches intently from a distance. Many other customers come trickling in and going to their respected trainers. An older, provocative looking older lady comes in

and walks over to an extremely muscular employee by the name of TITO.

COUGAR Hey there, big boy. I’m ready for my workout. (winking) Lord knows I’m already worked up.

TITO (smiling) Right this way, MRS. VELEZ.

Maria and her client have made their way to the curling station. Wallace is casually doing his curls while Maria is staring at his arms. She breaks off her stare and begins to strike up conversation.

MARIA So how has everything been lately?

MR. WALLACE Just fine.

MARIA How does a handsome man like yourself… (stares at arm)

stay single for all this time?

MR. WALLACE

Just lucky, I guess. Ha.

MARIA (serious tone) I can make you the luckiest man in the world. (licks lips) If you want.

MR. WALLACE (puts down weight) Maria, I would rather put out a campfire with my face. MARIA I’m willing to pay you. MR. WALLACE (getting up) That’s it. I’m done. I’m done with this gym. These shitty weights. Shitty service. And shitty pickup lines by a girl with shitty looks.

Mr. Wallace continues to exit the gym. As he does, Mr. Smith sees it with a questionable look upon his face. He scribbles in his notebook then continues to observe the employees. Then a customer, and friend, Josh met through work, JAIMIE, enters. She spots Josh and makes her way toward him.

JOSH Uh oh! Here comes trouble!

(laughing) Where have you been?

JAIMIE It’s called a real job, how about you get one instead of playing around with dumbbells all day!

JOSH Ooooh that one hurt! You just lost yourself the best trainer in this joint.

JAIMIE Alright, I take it back! How else could I spend $12 a month on a gym membership and never make any progress without the almighty Josh to help me?

JOSH Ha ha, alright you win. What’s on the agenda for today? What do you want to work on?

Jaimie begins to become somewhat flustered and shows a small sign of nervousness. She regains her composure and continues to flirt.

JAIMIE Well, what do you think I

should work on?

JOSH Ha, I know how you girls are. I’m not pointing out your flaws so I can be called a jerk!

JAIMIE (smiling) Alright, so we will do it this way. What looks good enough already that doesn’t need any changing?

JOSH (obliviously) Um, I don’t know. How about you pick something instead of being all wishy washy!

A beautiful coworker by the name of BIANCA then enters into the gym. Josh looks over from Jaimie and realizes Bianca. He loses focus and begins to stare at her from afar with a dreamy look in his eyes.

JAIMIE

Josh! I said I will do some work on the legs, I guess.

Josh continues to stare without even hearing Jaimie. Bianca makes her way to her boyfriend, Chaz, and gives him a

kiss on the lips. Josh gets a discouraged look on his face as if he knew it was coming, but he doesn’t let him stop from looking. Jaimie realizes she is being ignored and becomes jealous when she sees that it is the beautiful coworker he is fixed on.

JAIMIE

Alright, Josh. I think I have to go. Some- something came up. I will talk with you next time.

Josh snaps out of his stare as she is walking away. JOSH No, come back! Jaimie!

Jaimie keeps walking out, ignoring him. At the same time, another customer is walking out while Melvin is attempting to get her to come back.

MELVIN

Lady! I would most likely appreciate it if you would accompany me back to the leg press so we could resume our conversation on the inverse relationship between calcium intake and testosterone levels in the human digestive system during the REM cycles

of sleep in the middle of the night!

The lady continues to storm off, right behind Jaimie. They both exit through the front door, all while Mr. Smith watches them. Mr. Smith appears completely shocked at the way the business is run.

MR. SMITH (standing)

Well, I think I have seen enough of this… establishment. You all should be disgraced at how you run this place. It’s pitiful! My nephew can run a lemonade stand better than this! And he’s three! THREE!

MR. Smith begins to storm out of the building. JOSH No, please! Just give us more time. (lying) This isn’t a normal day! MR. SMITH

Nice try, kid, but you can’t pull the wool over these eyes. Good luck with trying

to keep this place afloat.

As he is walking out the front door the overweight and asshole of a manager ANDY is walking in.

ANDY Who the hell was that jackass?

TITO Just, uh, finished his session, boss.

ANDY

Then why the hell was he in a suit ya jack-knob? That makes about as much sense as Maria finding a date for a Friday night! Ha ha ha!

Maria slowly looks down at the ground with a small frown. MELVIN

He worked out in his suit, sir. You see, if you exercise with multiple layers of clothing on it actually will heighten your levels of –

ANDY Shut the hell up with your science jimbery-joo, Melvin. Josh, what was that guy here for.

JOSH He was… a potential investor. He wanted to see how we ran ourselves for a day, and if it were to his liking, he was going to propose a possible investing opportunity to us. But, after seeing us for the past 15 minutes he no longer was interested and decided to leave.

ANDY (furious) Conference room! NOW!

MELVIN But sir, someone has to be left here in charge in the workout room. There are still people here doing their independent workouts and it is against safety regulations if there isn’t-

ANDY Then you are in charge, four eyes! Try not to daydream about the periodic table or anything, ha ha!

2 INT. CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY 2

The workers are in the conference room with Andy standing in front with a pointer in his hand. Maria continues to read her Cosmo magazine while Bianca sits with Chaz. Josh is sitting directing across from them at the table.

ANDY (counting) Is everyone here? Wait, where’s that DICK at?

Dick, an old Vietnam veteran, opens up the door of the conference room, appearing out of nowhere. DICK

That’s what she said! Ha, at least that’s what she said last night before I showed her! Ha ha! Damn I miss that broad and her flexibility already.

Everyone looks at him like they are grossed out as Dick smiles to himself, and Maria looks at him in a sexual way. There’s an awkward pause while everyone notices Maria looking at Dick.

ANDY Well I’m thoroughly disgusted.

Everyone nods and says they are too.

ANDY Anywho we have something we need to talk about. I guess there was an investor here that was interested in buying some stock in this place. Normally I wouldn’t give a shit but the truth is that we’re hurting real bad in terms of money and I don’t know how much longer we’re gonna be able to stay open like this. I know this is just temporary for most of you but Dick let’s be honest this is the only thing keeping you out of jail. And Maria...Jesus Christ don’t even get me started on Maria. My point is we need to figure out a way to turn this place around.

MARIA

(Smiling, overly excited) How bout a bake sale?

TITO

That’s stupid.

MARIA You’re an asshole.

TITO You’re a whore.

ANDY

He’s got a point. Shut up Maria. Come on guys we need some ideas.

JOSH

We could do a car wash out front.

MARIA

(Looking at Josh in a sexual way) I like that.

There is another long pause, with everyone looking disgusted at the thought of Maria.

ANDY God you’re shameless. Car

wash, I like it.

DICK Enough of this fairy car wash shit. We’re gonna set up a firing range and have a shooting contest in the parking lot!

ANDY

Dick I can’t even exaggerate how illegal that is.

DICK

(Under his breath, glaring at everyone) You god damn commies.

MELVIN

What about a masquerade ball?

ANDY Melvin that is easily one of the gayest fundraising ideas I’ve ever heard.

Everyone nods and agrees.

MARIA (Seductively) What if we had an auction for men only and they could bid on me and I’d do anything they wanted...Anything...

ANDY I like the enthusiasm, be willing to literally sell your body to help the gym. But again I’m disgusted and pound for pound that is one of the worst ideas I’ve ever heard in my life.

TITO Alright look. We’ll take all the money in the cash register and buy three or four kegs. We’ll get a DJ, some hookers

and a moon bounce in here and see where the night takes us.

There is a pause, with everyone looking confused.

ANDY And how is this going to help us raise some money?

TITO Yep. (Nods his head)

ANDY

(Looking defeated) Alright you guys look. This meeting has accomplished nothing I actually feel worse than before we had it. The only idea that could raise any money is the car wash one, so we’re gonna have to run with that. It’s not just about washing cars though, we’re gonna offer a free trial at the gym to try and get some more paying customers so make sure you push that. We’ll do it this Saturday. Josh, you’re in charge the rest of the day. I have to go to court, apparently when they say 50 yards they MEAN 50 yards.

3. PARKING LOT OF GYM - DAY 3

Everyone is walking out of their cars and meeting in the middle of the lot. Josh, Bianca, and Andy are there first, and they are all dressed in normal bathing suits. Bianca looks good in her bathing suit, and Andy is trying to compliment her without being creepy but he is failing.

ANDY Bianca you look...really...good.

BIANCA (Feeling uncomfortable) Thanks Andy.

ANDY I don’t mean to weird you out it’s just..you’re really...put together.

Josh is stifling a laugh, and Bianca is obviously very uncomfortable.

ANDY No I don’t mean to sound weird you just look a lot better than my ex wife. (Pause) I’m sorry about that that was weird. I just mean I’d like to...never mind...unless you wanted to...(Bianca starts walking away)...nothing never mind forget it...

JOSH (Laughing, slaps Andy on the back) It’s alright Andy why don’t you sit out a couple plays.

Bianca helps Melvin unload sponges and soap and hoses from his car. Maria pulls up next to him and gets out wearing a beach cover-up. She steps out of the car and it goes to slow-mo as she starts to take off her cover-up. Josh and Andy cringe, trying to shield their eyes. Maria take off her cover-up and she is wearing a thong bikini and looking awful in it. As we come out of slow-mo and into real time, Dick slaps Maria on the ass. He’s wearing full camo with combat boots and he is carrying a buck knife.

BIANCA (In a friendly voice) Dick where’s your swim suit?

DICK

The last time I went swimming was in the swamps hunting Charlie. Something you pussies don’t know anything about. (Glaring at everyone)

ANDY

Take it easy Dick. Maria I’m

sure you get this a lot but you look like shit. Where’s Tito?

JOSH He said he’d be a little late. He was hanging out with that older lady that hangs around the gym all the time...

ANDY Mrs. White.

JOSH Yeah. He’ll be here though.

ANDY Ok. We’re gonna get this started in about 10 minutes. We’ve put out flyers and reminded all the regulars, I don’t know what else we can do. I hope this works.

A few cars turn in to the parking lot and start to line up.

ANDY

Dick, do me a favor and go direct traffic.

DICK (Grabs his knife)I’m on it! (He sprints after the cars, waving his knife in the air)

Bianca is filling buckets with water, and Josh comes over to help her.

JOSH You look like you could use a hand. I figured I’d help you before Andy did.

BIANCA (Laughs) God he’s such a creep.

JOSH He’s harmless he just doesn’t think before he talks. It’s gotta be rough managing this crew of flunkies.

They look out at the car wash. Dick is in a man’s face, screaming at him and pointing at him. Melvin is getting sprayed by a female customer with the hose, crying. Maria is trying to flirt with a man who is not having any of it.

BIANCA Yeah. Let me ask you something.

JOSH Sure what’s up.

BIANCA Do you ever feel like you

could be doing something else? Like working somewhere better?

JOSH Yeah. I keep telling myself this job is just temporary but I don’t know what else to do.

BIANCA I just feel like I’m wasting my time sometimes.

JOSH Well you got that boyfriend he seems like a good guy. (Kind of sarcastically, and Bianca picks up on it and smiles)

BIANCA He’s harmless he’s just takes himself pretty seriously.

JOSH So is he temporary too?

(Awkward pause)

BIANCA We better get this water over to everybody. Melvin looks like he needs some help.

They walk over to Melvin, where Andy is already trying to diffuse the situation.

ANDY

Ma’am please let him go. He’s a part of a special program we do for retarded adults.

MELVIN What? Wait no I’m...

ANDY He was born without half of his brain. Just let him go and we’ll refund your money.

LADY He scratched my car, look at that! You’re gonna have to pay for that!

ANDY Ma’am we can work something out, why don’t you come inside and we can talk in my office.

Bianca puts a towel around Melvin and walks with him towards the building. Tito pulls up in his muscle car with the music blaring. He gets out and walks up to Josh.

TITO What’s goin on bro?

JOSH This car wash isn’t working out too well. Melvin scratched up some lady’s car and she’s pissed. How’d it go with that cougar?

TITO Lets just say, she was the cougar and I was the cub. (Reaches for high five)

JOSH (Disgusted, gives reluctant high five) Oh shit check out Dick.

Tito and Josh run over to Dick, who is up against the door of a cop car, being arrested.

DICK

(As he’s being handcuffed) I’ll kill you you commie bastard!

The cop puts Dick into the car and closes the door.

OFFICER

He pulled a knife on that man over there because the guy

looked at him funny. Sorry boys, I have to take him down the station.

JOSH No that’s ok. We’re all probably safer with Dick locked up.

ANDY Hey what’s going on?! (Comes running out of the building)

JOSH Dick pulled a knife on some guy, they arrested him.

ANDY Jesus Christ. That lady is suing us for damaging her car.

JOSH Andy maybe we should call the rest of the car wash off. This is a disaster.

ANDY God damn it. Alright clean this stuff up and get out of here, I’ll see you Monday.

JOSH

Don’t worry man, we’ll get this all figured out.

Next morning at the gym the employees are coming in looking and feeling disappointed from the terrible carwash the day before. Everyone is sitting randomly around the gym talking about what went wrong the day before.

JOSH

Did you guys see dick pull that knife on that man?

BIANCA

Yeah! I don’t know what his problem is.

ANDY

I appriciate your guys’ effort but it isn’t

looking too bright for us.

TITO

Well maybe if Maria wasn’t whoring her self around we would have more customers.

MARIA

You think this is my fault!? Melvin is the one who is always driving people out of this place with his sience mumbo jumbo !

Everyone in the room begins to yell and scream at each other all blaming one another for why the gym is going under.

Josh trying to get everyone to calm down yells.

JOSH

Enough! This is why nobody comes to our gym. This is a collective effort and if everyone doesn’t do their part then we will never

have a chance.

ANDY

He’s right. If we don’t pull it together, and now, then we will all be jobless and on the street. Except for you Maria you would probably be in a box whoring your self to a

homeless man.

Maria glares at Andy, and everyone else giggles.

Josh

Now guys, we have time for one final plan to try and get this place hopping before it goes under. We need idea, preferably ones

that wont get our employees arrested.

Melvin halfway raises his hand as if here were in school.

Josh

Yeah what Melvin, what do you need to say. (Obviously annoyed by the fact that Melvin

was raising his hand.)

Melvin

A few weeks ago I took a part of the gyms money to invest in a sure fire stock that I

have had my eye on.

Andy

Melvin! You stole from us! What the hell were you thinking!

Everyone begins to yell at Melvin

Melvin

Let me finish! I took money to invest in this sure fire stock because it has been

increasing in value for the past 3 months. The company that I invested in just released their new groundbreaking product last week

Andy

Get to the point Melvin.

Melvin

Ok ok. Well that stock I invested in has

earned us over 15 thousand dollars.

Josh

Oh my god Melvin are you serious!

Looking around the room everybody begins to get excited.

Melvin

Yes I’m serious, and we can use that money to give this place the jump-start it needs.

Everybody begins cheering and crowding around Melvin in excitement.

ANDY

Melvin, I can’t believe I’m saying this but for once in my live I’m glad I hired your

geeky ass!

The movie jumps forward 2 months to the gym where everyone is working flawlessly together. You can tell Melvin’s investment succeeded in turning the busisness around because the gym is extremely crowded. Everyone seems to have found their place within the gym. Maria is successfully hitting on a guy (who seems interested), Melvin is shown creating nutritional diets for customers, Tito is helping other body builders lift, Andy is in his office leaning back in his chair. Josh and Bianca are walking into the gym together holding hands. The movie fades out, and then the screen shows back up with Dick successfully breaking out of prison.

The End