OM NAMO BHAGAVATHE SRI RAMANAYA

The Guiding Presenceof Sri Ramana

K. K. NAMBIAR

SRI RAMANASRAMAMTIRUVANNAMALAI

PREFACEIn The Guiding Presence of Sri Ramana, Sri K. K. Nambiar, an ardent devotee, has given us an intimate glimpse into his life as guided by his Master, Bhagavan Sri Ramana. We are grateful to the Ramana Kendra, Madras, for requesting its Chairman, Sri K. K. Nambiar, to give a series of talks on his reminiscences of Sri Bhagavan. These reminiscences which span over five decades of service and devotion to Sri Bhagavan and Sri Ramanasramam, have now been collected to form this book.

The instances of Bhagavan’s Grace abound through these pages. The famous instance in which Bhagavan appeared to him in dream and demanded of him a bound notebook is well-known to Ramana-bhaktas. It is vividly recorded in Day by Day with Bhagavan, p. 246 and My Recollections of Bhagavan Sri Ramana, p. 129.

Sri Nambiar’s professional work took him abroad, to England and America. He gives us a vivid description of his meeting with two very sincere devotees of the Master. The first is Mrs. Victoria Doe of UK who had never seen Bhagavan but was devoted to Him in thought, word and deed. The second was Mrs. Eleanor Pauline Noye, a devotee living in California, who had been to India and sat at the Master’s feet; and was living in constant thought of Him.

These are but two of many interesting instances related by Sri Nambiar portraying the grace and guidance of Sri Bhagavan in even the smallest details of a devotee’s life. It is always a pleasure and joy to read and ponder such reminiscences which make the presence of Sri Bhagavan vivid and enduring.

Sri Nambiar has proved to be a pillar of strength to the Ashram administration from the days of Bhagavan; he is now serving in the Editorial Board of the Ashram journal, The Mountain Path. He, along with his wife, Smt. Janaki Nambiar, always participates in all important functions at the Ashram.

We are grateful to Professor K. Swaminathan for going through the MSS and giving useful suggestions.Mrs. Joan Greenblatt deserves our appreciation for the attractive cover design.

Sri Ramanasramam T. N. VenkataramanTiruvannamalai President1st September 1984 Board of Trustees

Om namo Bhagavate Sri Ramanaya

FOREWORDI was seriously ill in July 1982 and it was only through Sri Bhagavan’s Grace that I got a fresh lease of life. Throughout the period of my illness, Arunachala Ramana was constantly shining in my Heart, never giving any room for anxiety or fear. Discharged from the Jaslok Hospital, Bombay, when I came back to Madras, it was almost a re-union for the Ramana devotees to meet me at the Kendra. Several of them suggested that I should give a few talks at the Sunday Satsangs, about my reminiscences of Sri Bhagavan. Accordingly a series of six talks were delivered at the Ramana Kendra, Madras in July and August, 1983.

By now, there were demands from various quarters including Sri V. Ganesan, Ramanasramam, Managing Editor of The Mountain Path that the reminiscences should be published in a book form to be available for all those interested. I too felt an inner urge to record them in writing. A friend of mine an IAS Officer, Commissioner and Secretary to Government of Tamil Nadu called on me most unexpectedly and mentioned that he had an inner mystic urge to come and tell me that I should, without further delay, publish all my reminiscences about Ramana Maharshi, either in a book form or through a series of articles in the journal The Mountain Path. I too had a dream on 14.9.83 that I should commence writing the reminiscences and that Bhagavan would help me to see it through.

This book contains a list of the series of talks given by me at Ramana Kendra, Madras. It gives an authentic record of events during Bhagavan’s life time (as personally known to me) with which I was connected in some way or other.

Events subsequent to Mahasamadhi, equally relevant to show Bhagavan’s continued presence amidst us, have also been briefly recorded in my diaries. It is hoped that an appendix or a second part could be brought out in the near future to make them available to Ramana devotees.

I should crave the indulgence of the readers for the frequent references to my work and career, which were unavoidable, while explaining the background of the events narrated.

14.5.84 K. K. NambiarMadras Chairman, Ramana Kendra

Madras

CONTENTS

Preface vForeword ixMy first visit to Sri Ramanasramam 1More opportunities for visits 2Bhiksha at the Ashram 3Change coming over me. Give up shikar & killing 4Miraculous posting to Tiruvannamalai 5Daily visits to Sri Ramanasramam 6Surrender to Bhagavan 7Meeting Grant Duff 8Paul Brunton, Yogi Ramaiah & other Ashramites 9Notebook incident - vision of Bhagavan 9Goanese devotee’s Pranayama & Bhagavan’s instructions 11Visit to Swami Omkar - A mystic experience 12Bhagavan’s ways of instructions 13Miracles 14Bhagavan’s succour: an extraordinary dream and a miracle! 15Visitors’ reactions before Bhagavan 17Sri R. D. Narasimham’s visit 17Thakurkhan Chandra Varma & Party from Lahore 20Ramana Gita - Malayalam manuscript 21Car Journey to Vellore and floods over Polur causeway 24Gazette Extraordinary 25My Transfer to South Canara 26Transfer to Madurai 27My illness in 1942 at Madurai 27Dream about Transfer to Madras 28A bet on a prayer 30Another notable instance of Bhagavan’s help 33Foreign deputation - Bhagavan with me - Letters from Ashram 34Mrs. Victoria Doe 35Shri A. Bose in England 37Bhagavan’s mention about Mrs. Doe’s letter 38United States - Mrs. Eleanor Pauline Noye 40Meeting Bose again in New York 42Gramophone Record from Chicago 43Extension of my foreign deputation 45Colour film of Bhagavan - taken by me 46Yogasana and the cushions 47Bhagavan’s enquiries about my work 48Locus of Meditation - Bhagavan’s instructions 49Bhagavan’s Love - Eating Nongu - Fruit juice prasadam 51Bhagavan’s illness - First operation 52Mahakumbhabhishekam 52Second operation 54Third operation: “Let Nambiar come & see” 55Fourth operation 56

Some 16 mm films of Bhagavan taken by me 56Photo of Bhagavan on Yogasana 56Homeopathic treatment - Also ‘Mouni’s mixture’ 57Ayurvedic treatment - Sri Iswaran Moosad 58Siddha system treatment 59My request to Bhagavan to prolong life - Bhrigu Nadi 60My request to take medicines, 2 days before Mahasamadhi 61Mahasamadhi & Meteor in the sky 62Location of Bhagavan’s samadhi - original idea 63My dream - Bhagavan indicating location of samadhi 64Actual location of samadhi - as in dream 65Conclusion 66AppendixVerses from Yogavasishta - selected by Bhagavan 68

The Guiding Presence of Sri Ramana

First visit

It was in the year 1932 when I was an Assistant Engineer at Salem that a friend of mine who had been on a pilgrimage to religious institutions in South India, dropped in at my residence on his way back to Kerala (North Malabar, then). He left with me a booklet “Who am I”, in Malayalam. Being obsessed with official works, sports and shikar, I didn’t have the time or the urge to study the book in detail. I just glanced through it. There was a mention of a ‘living Maharshi’ in that book, which I thought was a contradiction in terms. Maharshis, I had heard in Puranas, but could there be one in flesh and blood living these days?

A few days later, Mr. Ellappa Chettiar, the President of the Salem District Board to whom I mentioned about this booklet confirmed the existence of the Maharshi and suggested that we should take an early opportunity to visit him. A trip was arranged soon. On reaching Tiruvannamalai by car, we went straight to Ramanasramam. On entering the hall, I went and prostrated at the feet of the Maharshi who was reclining on a couch. Though no words passed between us, I felt an indescribable influence and a sense of calmness settling over me. I sat transfixed to the spot. Mr. Chettiar who was also sitting nearby got up after about an hour and signalled that it was time for us to go back. We took leave of Bhagavan who nodded assent. On leaving the Ashram, I felt that my heart was being irresistibly attracted, as though by a mighty spiritual magnet towards that Divinity in human form seated on the such. My feeling at that time can best be expressed in the words of Poet Kalidasa:-

:::

“The body goes forward, but the restless heart runs backward like the china-cloth of a banner which is being carried against the wind.”

More opportunities to visit

This visit left a deep impression on my mind and I longed to go to Tiruvannamalai again. Quite soon an opportunity arose. My brother-in-law, Dr. P.C. Nambiar, FRCS, was transferred and posted to Tiruvannamalai as Civil Assistant Surgeon in Charge of the local Hospital. It looked as though my prayers were answered as I could go and stay at Tiruvannamalai now and then. Meanwhile I myself was transferred from Salem to Dharmapuri and my jurisdiction extended up to Chengam frontiers in North Arcot District. Tiruvannamalai was only about 25 miles outside my jurisdiction. Whenever I went on inspection of roads on that side, I crossed over to Tiruvannamalai. My brother-in-law, didn’t have a spiritual background and was almost an atheist.

My sister K. K. Madhaviamma, on the other hand was deeply religious. She went to the Ashram quite often, much against the will of her husband, who sometimes even scattered the fruits, flowers, etc. got ready by her for being taken to Bhagavan. One day Bhagavan had some tooth trouble and one tooth had to be removed. My brother-in-law, Doctor in charge of the hospital nearby, was sent for. He went inside Bhagavan’s hall fully clad in a suit, approached Bhagavan’s sofa and asked him to open his mouth. “Bhagavan, Vayi thora” was what he said! to the amusement of devotees gathered in the hall. The tooth was extracted and the doctor left, a changed man. He no longer stood in the way of my sister visiting the Ashram as often as she

wished. He even felt that the hand which had touched Bhagavan was able to carry out surgical operations more successfully thereafter. He too now visited the Ashram, prostrated before Bhagavan, and sat in the hall like other devotees in meditation.

Bhiksha at the Ashram

During one of my trips to Tiruvannamalai my sister suggested that I should make a small contribution for a “bhiksha” at the Ashram. A “bhiksha” at the Ashram meant feeding all the ashramites and visitors sumptuously with additional sweets etc. Bhagavan also would partake of the meal along with them. On the day of my Bhiksha, at about noon, when the bell sounded, indicating that the meal was ready, people started queuing into the dining hall - a large thatched shed at that time.

When the person at the head of the queue reached the corner seat, he sat there and those following sat one by one in the adjacent seats. In doing so, I found that I was to sit right in front of Bhagavan, in the row facing him! This lucky coincidence gave me great satisfaction. Bhagavan seemed to sense this and rewarded me with a gracious smile. Soon, cooks came with rice and other preparations. As usual Bhagavan was to be served first. When rice was brought before his leaf, a small ball of rice rolled into his leaf even before the person had started serving him. Bhagavan looked at me smiling and said athu thane viluthu “it falls by itself”. This remark from Sri Bhagavan, gave me supreme delight, and I can still recall the ecstasy I felt while partaking of that meal right in front of him, face to face with him less than a yard separating our leaves. That was the happiest meal in my life.

Give up Shikar and killing - change coming over me

It is needless to say that, by now, my scepticism about a living Maharshi had all vanished like mist before the rising sun. I prayed to Bhagavan Ramana to grant me more opportunities to be near him and receive his Grace. My attitude towards work and play was undergoing a beneficial change. I gave up my shikar and laid aside my rifle, gun and revolver vowing that I would not kill any animal. An incident which brought about this sudden change may be mentioned here. One day I went out shooting in Hogainakal forest (in the present Dharmapuri District) and shot a spotted deer and brought it to the chatram (travellers’ bungalow) where I was camping. In the adjacent suite of the bungalow an ochre clad swamiar was staying. Seeing this carcass of the deer on the rear luggage carrier of the car, the swami spoke to me in a voice choked with emotion. “Look at the eyes of that deer. How pathetic? If you must shoot and kill shoot a bear or a tiger. Don’t kill such innocent creatures.” This intervention on the part of that swamiar, who happened to break his journey there that day on his way to Bangalore for some treatment of his eye, I took as an instruction from Bhagavan Ramana himself.

From Dharmapuri I was transferred to Tirunelveli on promotion as District Board Engineer. I was now farther from Tiruvannamalai. I started reading more about Maharshi and felt that he was Lord Subramanya in human form. I prayed to him again and again to give me more opportunities to have his Darshan.

Miraculous posting to Tiruvannamalai

My prayer was answered miraculously. Soon I got posted to Tiruvannamalai itself! a thing which could not have been dreamt of in the normal course, because Tiruvannamalai was not the headquarters of a district, where one could be posted as a District Engineer. It all came about in an unexpected manner, in February, 1936. The then Government of Madras embarked on an

experiment of bifurcating some of the large districts in the then Madras Presidency for ensuring more efficient administration. In this process, the District of North Arcot was divided into two and the headquarters of the southern half was fixed at Tiruvannamalai. District Offices had to be duplicated. I was chosen as the District Board Engineer for “Tiruvannamalai District” and asked to start an office at Tiruvannamalai town itself! I had not even dreamt of such a thing until I received the posting orders. Sri Bhagavan’s Grace it was to bring me to his abode in this unexpected manner.

Daily visits to Ramanasramam

I took full advantage of the situation and seldom failed to visit the Ashram on days I was at Headquarters. I felt a gradual change for the good was taking place in me. Here, I might narrate an anecdote concerning a senior colleague of mine. When he came to Tiruvannamalai I took him to the Ashram with me on three or four consecutive days. The next day when I went to his residence to take him along with me, he excused himself saying ,that he would rather stay at home. When questioned further he stated that frequent visits to the Ashram might give him a distaste for worldly things and induce him to renounce his job, which he was not prepared to do. This colleague of mine had certainly misjudged the issue. One is reminded, in this context;

:

This knowledge of the Truth makes an eloquent wise and active person mute, inert, and inactive.

Therefore, it is shunned by those who want to enjoy the world. Ashtavakra Gita, XV. 6

But Bhagavan never insisted upon anybody renouncing his job or changing his walk of life. If anything, it became easier for one to bear the burden of one’s own responsibilities in life. I could testify to this from my own experience, and the statements of several other devotees.

Surrender to Bhagavan

By this time I had picked up courage to talk to Bhagavan now and then. One of the first things I did was to place on record my complete surrender to him, looking up to him as my sole protector and refuge in future. I wrote the following sloka in Sanskrit on a piece of paper and after prostrating before him as usual, placed the slip of paper near his feet.

“I have no other refuge; you are my only support Oh Ramaneshwara! Therefore have mercy on me and protect me”

Bhagavan took it up, read it with a smile and gave it back commenting upon the parody I had made in the well-known sloka. When I resumed my seat, Sri Bhagavan was steadily looking at me. The gracious look directed at me set my mind completely at rest.

“Drishtih Pratyak gatapi pranatabhayaharee Samvisrishta dayardra”

is the description of this look by Daivaratha in his Ramana Vibhaktyashtakam - (Even though His eyes are introverted, they are wide open and full of compassion and love to dispel the fears of those who prostrate before him).

Meeting Grant Duff

During one of my visits, Niranjanananda Swami asked me to go and keep company with Grant Duff who was sitting alone on a chair outside Matrubhuteshwara Samadhi shed. Grant Duff (Douglas Ainslie), nephew of one of the British Governors in India was a philosopher and diplomat of high rank. He had made several visits to the Ashram. Immaculately dressed in a silk suit and a bow tie he was sitting on a chair wearing only socks on his feet. When I introduced myself as an Engineer in Government Service, he congratulated me on having the opportunity to be in Bhagavan’s presence frequently. In fact he said that people in this part of India and those born in this century were indeed lucky to be able to meet Bhagavan - Divinity in human form. He said that he had made a thorough comparative study of religions and had come to the conclusion that the philosophy of Bhagavan, which was similar to the Advaita philosophy of Sri Sankara, was the only philosophy that could stand scrutiny in the modern scientific age. In fact this was the thesis of his paper for the International Philosophical Congress. In reply to a query from him, Bhagavan has selected some verses from Yoga-vasishta to explain how a jivanmukta could engage himself in worldly activities. I got a printed copy of these slokas soon after from Niranjananandaswami. (See appendix)

Paul Brunton and other friends

During this period I made friends with Yogi Ramiah who had a cottage at the rear corner of the Ashram compound, Paul Brunton, Major Chadwick, Mungala Venkataramiah, and we used to compare notes about our sadhanas and significant happenings at the Ashram. On one such occasion while referring to Paul Brunton’s psychic experiences during the night he spent inside the Egyptian Pyramid as described in his book Search in Secret Egypt, I inadvertently used the term editorial stunt which upset him very much. Soon, I expressed regret for having hurt his feelings unintentionally and more than made good our relations in the subsequent months.

Notebook incident

Not a week passed without some incident or other to convince me that Bhagavan’s merciful hand is ever extended to protect and succour those devoted to him. One evening I went to the Ashram and wanted to ask him an important question regarding my sadhana, particularly regarding continuance of my practice of reciting stotras and japa etc. During the solemn hours of vedaparayana and meditation that followed I could not make up my mind to break the silence in the hall by asking the question, and returned home somewhat disappointed. Early next morning when I was half awake, I had a very vivid dream, or vision, whatever one may call it. I saw Bhagavan standing on a lawn with half a dozen Brahmin boys sitting around him in a circle. Bhagavan was reciting some Sanskrit verses which the boys were repeating. Actually he was reciting Shyamala-Dandakam itself which I used to recite - part of stotras in praise of the Goddess. This appeared to me a straight answer from Bhagavan to the question I had failed to put to him the previous night. Then the scene changed in the dream. The boys doing parayana were not there. Bhagavan beckoned me to go near him and asked me for a notebook to write something. When I told him that I had only an octavo size notebook ready to spare, he said that it was all right. The dream ended there, but it made such a deep impression on my mind that I could not delay carrying out the behest, however strange it might seem to others. After an early bath, I traced out the spare notebook, dusted it and hurried to the Ashram. Prostrating before

Bhagavan as usual I handed over the notebook to him. He received it smilingly and asked me what made me take the notebook to him, when I related to him in a whisper all about the dream I had early that morning. Immediately he called his personal attendant, the late Madhavaswami, and asked, him, “Madhava, did I not ask you last evening to fetch a notebook to write down a Malayalam Translation of the Sanskrit text of Ramana-Gita? You didn’t bring one. Here is Nambiar who has brought it for me. It seems he had a dream in which I asked him for such a book and he has brought it”. Bhagavan also asked me to speak aloud about the dream so that other devotees in the hall could all hear it. This incident aroused a great deal of interest among the devotees.

I was told of a similar instance that happened subsequently. One of the devotees dreamt that Bhagavan wanted some fountain pen ink and brought a large bottle of ink. It seems Bhagavan had enquired of his attendant for some ink to fill up his fountain pen, earlier and the Ashram had no stock of fountain pen ink.

Goanese Devotee’s Pranayama and Bhagavan’s remarks

A few days later I had another dream about Maharshi. He was seated on his couch as usual surrounded by a number of devotees seated on the floor engaged in meditation. Among them I particularly noticed a young devotee from Goa, seated in padmasana (Lotus posture) performing pranayama. I think he was known by the name Sridhar. While he was doing pranayama I saw sparks of fire rising from the base of his vertebral column up to his head. Bhagavan, who was watching this practicant interjected “There is no need for all this gymnastics with breath control. It is easier and safer to follow the method of Self-enquiry as enunciated by me” That was the sum and substance of the dream.

Next day when I went to the Ashram I sought out this young Goanese devotee. Though I had no previous acquaintance with him I called him aside and spoke to him. He was overcome with emotion and hugged me saying “Brother, I was all the while waiting for an opportunity to ask Bhagavan whether I should continue or give up the practice of Pranayama which I have been regularly carrying on for the past several years. Indeed, last night while sitting in the presence of Sri Bhagavan, I eagerly awaited an opportunity to put the question to him, but I could not find a suitable occasion for the purpose. Now there is no need to ask him about it. Bhagavan has answered it through you”.

Visit to Swami Omkar - A Mystic Experience

Sridhar and myself became friends and used to discuss philosophical matters now and then. Even after my transfer to Mangalore, Sridhar met me one day. He was no longer Sridhar, but “Gurudevananda” in ochre clothes. It seems, he went to Swami Ramadas at Anandasram, Kanhangad in South Kanara and took sanyasa at his hands assuming the name of Gurudevananda. He was on his way to Gokarn. On his return journey from the north he again met me at Mangalore. After 3 or 4 years we had occasion to meet again when he visited me at Cocanada and both of us did a long journey by car to Shanti Ashram at Thottappalli Hills on 22nd March, 1940 to meet Swami Omkar. It was that evening while sitting and meditating in front of Swami Omkar on the terrace of the Shanti Ashram that I had the mystic experience of OM enveloping me in a flood of light.

The last time I met Gurudevananda was at Ramanasramam again when he visited the Ashram after Bhagavan’s mahasamadhi.

Bhagavan’s ways of instruction

I mentioned this dream about Sridhar’s pranayam and Bhagavan’s instruction to him through my dream to some of the devotees who were my intimate friends. They all took it as one of Bhagavan’s usual ways of instructing and guiding his devotees in their sadhanas. He has many ways of “speaking” to his devotees of which verbal talk is but one. They “see” him wherever they may be, whether they are in or near the Ashram, or far away from it, and get his unfailing guidance as an act of Grace.

Not a day passed at the Ashram without some incident or other depicting the mysterious ways in which Sri Bhagavan has been consoling and comforting his devotees clearing their doubts, imparting knowledge and generally aiding the aspirant on his path towards the ultimate goal of self-realisation. Needless to say my faith in Bhagavan got intensified day by day. I looked up to him as God in human form and surrendered all my cares to him. Gradually I lost interest in visits to Temples and allied rituals. More time was spent in meditation while at the Ashram and also at home when not preoccupied with other pressing domestic or official matters.

One day while sitting with eyes closed in meditation in Bhagavan’s hall I had a sensation of numbness creeping all over my body and I saw my own skeleton as in an X-ray picture. I spoke to Bhagavan about this. He said that I should not give any attention to such things, but should intensely continue the meditation without getting distracted.

One morning while we were all seated in the hall, a gentleman brought a fairly large size photograph of Kavyakantha Ganapati Muni and presented it to Maharshi. Maharshi while receiving the photo exclaimed that it was only the previous day that the Ashram had received a Telegram that Nayana had attained Samadhi at his Ashram at Nimpura near Kharagpur. The messenger who brought the picture was taken aback as he did not know about it. He had left Nimpura a few days back and had no knowledge of it.

Miracles

One day when some of the devotees were engaged in a discussion regarding the lure of siddhis (Supernatural powers) to a sadhaka and how indulgence in the use of such powers was harmful, I decided to put a question to Sri Bhagavan about siddhis. Having prepared the question carefully I noted it down on a piece of paper. “Saints exist to save mankind. Nowadays people are so materialistically minded that they do not believe in anything that cannot be seen or experienced physically, or in any phenomena that cannot be explained in the light of scientific knowledge possessed by them. These unbelievers could easily be converted and turned towards the spiritual path, if only some miracles or supernatural phenomena are exhibited before their eyes by those possessing such psychic powers. The miracles performed by Christ form the backbone of the Christian faith. Why don’t modern saints do miracles likewise for the salvation of mankind?” Sri Bhagavan perused my note and replied by putting a counter-question “Did those Saints of yore, referred to as having performed miracles, know and act as though they were performing those miracles?”

Later on I came to know that Frank Humphreys the earliest Western devotee (a police officer, who came to Bhagavan during the Virupaksha Guha days) had put an almost exactly similar question and Bhagavan had given him a similar answer.

Although Bhagavan is averse to the use and exhibition of any mystical powers and has several times warned the devotees that craving for, or indulging in such powers will side-track them

from progressing towards the goal of Self-realisation, miracles of some kind or other do happen at the Ashram and elsewhere. When such things are pointed out to Sri Bhagavan, His reply is generally that such things happen due to Automatic Divine action. I myself can vouch for several such incidents or phenomena, in my own case as well as of others known to me. I shall refer to some of them later.

Bhagavan’s succour: an extraordinary dream - and a miracle?

Let me refer to an extraordinary dream I had once in those days. It was early in the morning before waking up. I dreamt that I was at the bottom of a deep manhole and was wondering how to climb out of it. Then I found some hand lifting me up holding my head, when slimy drops of filthy water were dripping on my body and shoulders, I was lifted clean out of it and far above about the height of a tall palmyrah tree as though by a crane and made to travel in the air horizontally a long distance and dropped near an Ashram near a hill. I woke up with a thrill. The inference of the dream was obvious. This dream made an indelible impression in my mind and its memory constantly cropped up to assure me that Bhagavan has picked me up from the dirty cesspool I was in to reform me and make me one of his devotees. It was no ordinary dream. If any proof is required, let me narrate a recent incident in waking state which further confirmed the inference.

It was on 25.3.81. That morning I had a dream, also about Bhagavan. I was walking about with Bhagavan and a group of devotees, numbering about ten, we went to a nice building. Bhagavan and others sat on the front verandah. I kept standing listening to the discussions which the devotees were having with Bhagavan. I woke up after listening to the discussions for nearly half an a hour, with the details of the scene vividly fresh in my mind. It was six o’clock:-

At 9 a.m. the same morning, Joan and Matthew Greenblatt (devotees from Arunachala Ashrama, USA) dropped in at my residence - (Ramanalaya in Gandhinagar) and spent a couple of hours talking about Bhagavan, viewing some relics which I treasure, as well as the notebook containing the manuscript of Ramana Gita and the Malayalam translation in Bhagavan’s own handwriting (referred to previously on page 11). Sometime after they took leave of me, I had to go to the local post office when Matthew & Joan also happened to be there. Matthew was busy at one of those counters when Joan was standing outside in the compound. Seeing her, I parked my car nearby, to talk to her. Again it was all about Bhagavan. During the talk I happened to refer to my old dream about the manhole from which an unseen hand lifted me. I was mentioning to her how those slimy drops of filth were dropping on my arm - and lo! a couple of filthy drops dropped from above on the same arm exactly at the spot I was indicating. I was struck dumb for a few seconds and looking up saw a crow, sitting on a branch of the margosa tree above us. Joan also looked up in utter amazement. If these are pure coincidences, what are miracles like?

Visitors’ reactions

Now to revert to those early days I would like to mention some extraordinary incidents that happened at the Ashram to which I was a personal witness. Some visitors got highly emotional in Bhagavan’s presence and behaved as though they were unable to control themselves and made physical contortions. And a woman as though possessed by some spirit danced and rushed towards Bhagavan as though to embrace him and had to be dragged back by the attendants.

R. D. N. Simham

Worthy of particular mention is the way how Shri R. D. N. Simham, the then Director of Town Planning, Madras reacted in Bhagavan’s presence. Sri Narasimham was on a 3 day visit to Tiruvannamalai on official inspection duty. The water works supervisor attached to Tiruvannamalai Municipality who had met him at the railway station on arrival and who was arranging for his inspections of water-works installations, had suggested a visit to the Ashram to have darshan of the Maharshi, but he had replied that there was no need for any such visit as he was “seeing him every day during his sadhanas” in the small hours of the morning. On the last day of the visit, when a jutka (horse-carriage) was brought to take him to the railway station, he seemed to have changed his mind and wanted to be taken to the Ashram. Throughout the journey Shri Simham was keeping silent and not talking to the supervisor not even replying to his questions. On arrival at the Ashram he was conducted to the place where Bhagavan was reclining on a sofa outside the hall surrounded by devotees. While the supervisor prostrated before Bhagavan and took a seat in a corner, Shri Simham kept on standing with a paper in his folded hands, shivering all over. After sometime at the suggestion of some devotees he advanced towards Bhagavan’s sofa and sat right in front of him with crossed legs as in padmasana or sukhasana posture. Myself along with some Parsee ladies and other devotees were 2 or 3 rows behind Narasimham near Bhagavan’s outstretched feet. We were watching Shri Narasimham. I was wondering within myself why he would not prostrate before Bhagavan, whether he considered it derogatory to his official position and so on. Suddenly we heard some sounds, clap, clap, clap from the place where he sat. He was beating his thighs on the floor, left, right, left, in violent convulsions. Some one shouted scorpion! The ladies on my left shouted snake, snake! When devotees tried to raise him from his seat, Bhagavan said “Leave him alone”. He quieted himself in a few seconds, got up and prostrated himself before Bhagavan. Bhagavan was looking at him till he got up and resumed his seat, resorted to normalcy. There was neither a scorpion nor a snake as feared by some. How one could strike his thighs on the floor while in squatting position to make all that noise has been and still is a mystery to me. The water-works supervisor whom I questioned later could give me no satisfactory answer. Mr. Simham himself, whom I met again in Madras as co-member of some Town Planning Committee, usually kept mum when I reminded him of this incident. But as far as the ashram people are concerned, particularly those attending on Bhagavan, cases of emotional ecstasies are not unusual to them. I am told of several instances of persons getting emotional and hysterical and later getting calmed in the presence of Bhagavan.

Bhagavan kept silent on such occasions. Generally he spoke very little, so much so, that to the outside world, the impression created was that he was observing silence. In fact, to those genuine seekers of truth who wanted to clear some doubts Bhagavan talked at length quoting chapter and verse from his own work and well-known Srutis, to dispel their doubts. On the contrary to questions put by persons wanting to show off their knowledge or impress other devotees, Bhagavan kept silent or gave such replies as to silence them. Once, an elderly gentleman from Kerala came and sat near the foot of Bhagavan’s sofa with closed eyes as though in meditation. After some time he approached Bhagavan and recited a Sanskrit sloka which meant “I am not the body or the senses, prana or mind etc. etc. . .” and added, ‘I fully realise that I am not the body, but still at times, when some one pinches me or an insect bites me I feel the pain and am unable to ignore it’. Bhagavan sternly questioned him, “who said you are not the body?” and got up from the sofa, as the lunch time bell was ringing just then. The visitor was nonplussed. Watching his discomfiture one senior Ashramite consoled him by explaining the philosophical position regarding “Dehatmabhava”.

Thakurkhan Chandra Varma and party

On another occasion, a party of four people hailing from Lahore came and sat before Bhagavan in the hall. The leader of the group was introduced as a well known Aryasamajist leader. His name was Takurkhan Chandra Varma(?). I was sitting 2 or 3 rows behind them leaning back on the wall. Paul Brunton was sitting in Padmasana posture on my right side. After about an hour when all of us kept silent, the party from Lahore who had come prepared to ask some questions jotted down on a piece of paper, was getting impatient and one of them broke the silence by reading aloud the questions. They were about Realisation of God, the methods adopted by Bhagavan, and the methods recommended by him for novices, etc. Bhagavan was keeping silent. The questions were being repeated in a louder voice, when Paul Brunton interjected saying that the replies to all those questions could be found in the books available at the ashram. The leader of the party got annoyed at this interruption and angrily remarked raising his voice, “Books! Books!, who wants to read Books? We have come all the way to ask Maharshi about God-realisation, and you want us to read books....” Maharshi kept silent. The lunch bell rang and all of us got up. So too, the party from Lahore; but instead of going straight to the dining hall, they wanted to have an interview with Paul Brunton, who they knew was at Ramanasramam at that time. Little did they know that the person whose intervention brought out their angry remarks was none other than Paul Brunton himself. When they were later conducted to Paul Brunton’s room at the rear of the Ashram compound, they recognised him as the person found sitting in the hall who had suggested reading books about Bhagavan and expressed regret for getting annoyed with his interruption and conversed peacefully for some time.

Ramana Gita - Malayalam manuscript

About this time Bhagavan had completed writing the Malayalam Translation of Ramana Gita in the notebook I had taken to him, as required in the dream referred to earlier. Finding some more pages available in the note book, Bhagavan added as appendices, Skandasapthaksharimantra, Sri Arunachalapancharatnam, Sri Ramanachatvarimsat and Sri Ramana vibhaktyashtakam also. At this stage, I mentioned to Bhagavan that I would get this Malayalam book printed at Vidyavilasam Press, Tellicherry at my cost and donate the copies to Ashram. Bhagavan suggested that I might write a preface to the book. Being new to such editorial work, I discussed the problem with Paul Brunton and on the basis of some tips obtained from him I contributed a three page ‘Prasthavana’, which was also shown to Bhagavan for his approval.

Now Bhagavan had another idea. He mentioned that if this octavo size notebook, brought to him as instructed by my dream, was sent to the press they would dismantle and separate the sheets for composing the printing matter. The book had to be preserved in the Ashram Archives as it had a history behind it. Saying this, He asked the attendant Madhavan to get another notebook or writing pad. When a new writing pad was brought, Bhagavan again copied in his own handwriting all that was written in the original notebook. The excellence of his handwriting, resembling print, and sometimes even excelling it, has to be seen to be believed! That is the case with his writing in Telugu language as well; the facsimile of such writings are still available at the Ashram bookshop. When the copying of Ramana Gita was completed, he handed over the manuscript to me for getting it printed.

On taking it home, another idea struck me which I discussed with my wife. I went to the bazaar and purchased a good Silver Cross writing pad with a view to copying the manuscript again for sending to the press, as I felt that I should preserve the book in Bhagavan’s own handwriting as a Sacred Relic, instead of its being torn asunder in the printing process at the press. I wasted no time in copying it, in which effort my wife also joined me, as I didn’t want to delay it much before sending to the press, which was done on the third day after it was received from Bhagavan. By the time the thousand printed copies were received from Vidyavilasam Press, I

had sent the writing pad in Bhagavan’s handwriting to Basel Mission Press, Mangalore (well known for their exquisite binding work) for binding it in morocco leather cover with gilt edges. This book when received was taken to Bhagavan, who, after perusal, gave it back to me with his blessings. OM NAMO BHAGAVATE SRI RAMANAYA! Who can speak about his Love towards his devotees! I am keeping it locked up as a sacred relic to be taken out only on important occasions. For daily parayana, only printed copies of the book are used.

By this time I was drawn more and more towards Bhagavan’s philosophy. The quest for the self within and that the belief that God is seated in my own Heart, etc. made a deep impression within me. A sloka which I casually came across at the Ashram during conversation with some devotees, attributed to Sadasiva Brahmendra, was constantly on my lips.

Yace nabhinavamte candfrakalottamsa kincidapivastu/ mahyam pradehi Bhagavan madeeyameva swaroopamanandam //

“Oh Lord (Siva)! I am not asking for anything new from you. Give me my own Blissful State”.

Temple worship and stotra parayana became less and less important. More and more time was spent in the company of Bhagavan’s devotees e.g., Yogi Ramiah, Paul Brunton, Major Chadwick, T. K. Duraiswamy Iyer, Sundaresa Iyer and others. Also I was very often required by Sri Niranjananandaswami, the Sarvadhikari, to help in matters connected with the management of the Ashram.

Journey to Vellore and Hood on Polur causeway

To cite an instance, one evening when it had rained cats and dogs, the sarvadhikari had to go to Vellore urgently to meet a lawyer with some papers in connection with a case in the court to come up the next day. There was no suitable bus to Vellore that evening. I volunteered to drive him in my old Austin car. Chinnaswami (as the Sarvadhikari was called then), T. P. Ramachandra Iyer and another swamiar, in ochre robes, whose name I cannot recollect got into my car with myself at the driving wheel. As we reached Polur about 20 miles from Tiruvannamalai, it was quite dark and the Polur Causeway on the Vellore Road was overflowing. From the markings on the guard rail posts on the causeway I gauged roughly that the level of water overflowing the causeway could not be more than eighteen inches. I thought I could make a successful crossing. The flow appeared to be increasing with the incessant rain. We had to get across somehow. There was nobody to assist us at that part of the night. Relying on Bhagavan’s help I moved on to cross the river. When I was at the bed level of the causeway, water level appeared to be rising further. There was every chance of water splashing on the ignition equipment of the engine, to make it stall. The situation was frightening. There have been instances of cars being washed away due to the force of the water current in similar circumstances. The swamiar travelling with us prayed chanting aloud “Vasudeva sarvamiti”. Thereupon T. P. Ramachandra Iyer said “sarvamidamaham cha Vasudevah”. I pushed forward concentrating my mind on Bhagavan and safely crossed over to the other side. All heaved a sigh of relief and felt Bhagavan was with us on that mission. We reached Vellore about nine o’clock at night and met the vakil who was anxiously awaiting us.

Gazette Extraordinary

The civil suit in the District Munsiffs court at Tiruvannamalai was filed by one of the erstwhile disgruntled attendants of Bhagavan named Perumalswami claiming right to the land oil which

the Ashram was constructed and allied properties. He wanted Bhagavan to be summoned to attend the court to defend the case. But some of Bhagavan’s devotees, particularly Grant Duff informed the Governor of Madras about the case and explained to him that it would be a sacrilege to drag Ramana Maharshi to court, whereupon a Gazette Extraordinary was issued granting exemption to Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi from appearance in court in civil suits. I was particularly delighted to see a copy of the Gazette Extraordinary.

Bhagavan had therefore to be examined by Commission. The commissioner, Sri V. Krishnaswami Reddi, came to the Ashram and heard the case in November, December 1936.

Transfer to South Canara

At the end of November, I was transferred to Mangalore as District Board Engineer in charge of South Canara District. I left Tiruvannamalai by train for Mangalore via Katpadi. It was 2 or 3 days after the Karthikai Deepam. I still remember very vividly watching the flame and smoke of the Deepam from the train while moving off from Tiruvannamalai railway station. The sight lingers in my memory even now, as though it happened yesterday. In South Canara was located my favourite temple of Mookambika. I might mention here that I had been virtually doing Tapas at this shrine in the year 1922 for about a fortnight including a hazardous trip to Kodasadri hill nearby. The Anandasram, abode of Swami Ramdas, was also located within my jurisdiction. I had ample opportunities to visit Mookambika Temple at Kollur, Kodasadri hills and Chitramoola cave near the origin of Sowparnika river flowing near the Kollur Temple and the Sarvajna Peetha where Adi Sankara was said to have sat in meditation. To Anandasram at Kanhangad also I made frequent visits. During one of these visits, Swami Ramdas initiated me by giving the Rama mantra, “Sri Ram, Jai Ram, Jai Jai Ram”.

Transfer to Madurai

From South Canara I was transferred to Cocanada for a short period for preparation of a design for a new bridge across Godavari and thence to Madura District. In between wherever possible I continued my visits to Sri Ramanasramam at Tiruvannamalai to charge my spiritual batteries as it were. It was at Cocanada that Bhagavan alerted me in a dream about a mistake I was about to commit in the design of the well foundations of the Godavari Bridge. This confirmed the reassurance of Bhagavan’s guidance and loving care in all my career. While at Cocanada I had occasions to go to Shanti Ashram Thotappalli Hills and meet Swami Omkar. While sitting in meditation on the terrace of the Ashram I had a profound mystical experience. Gurudevanand (previously known as Sridhar at Ramanasramam, concerning whose pranayam before Bhagavan I had a dream) had also come with me to meet Swami Omkar.

While at Madurai also, I made several visits to Ramanasramam, though due to wartime restrictions and rationing of petrol, it couldn’t be as frequent as one would have liked. During my stay at Madurai I was introduced to a Muslim Saint known as Oliyulla Swami, who of his own accord gave me an initiation.

My Illness in 1942

In 1942 I fell ill suddenly at Madurai and had to undergo a surgical operation for removal of an inflamed appendix. It happened this way. During those days I used to regularly practise strenuous yogic exercises, including Nauli. I took an enema one day and couldn’t pass out the entire water. That night I felt severe pain in the abdomen and in the small hours of the morning the family doctor was sent for. As soon as he checked my condition, I was asked to get ready to

go to the Headquarters Hospital with preparations to stay overnight, if need be. My wife and I went to the hospital early morning. They were ready for an operation. Colonel Cox, the Surgeon gave me a spinal anaesthesia and performed the appendix operation which lasted longer than usual, as they had to make a large incision, my abdominal muscles being much stronger than usual. In the meanwhile, the swollen appendix had burst inside said the surgeon. I was all the while thinking of Bhagavan and when back in the ward after the operation, while lying in a half dazed state, I had a vision of Arunachala Hill, or perhaps ‘Kailas’ which I had not seen as the colour of the peak was more whitish than crimson. I lay in a reverential attitude watching the vision which lasted for half a minute or so.

Dream about transfer to Madras

It took some time for the wound to heal and for me to rejoin duty. Some months later I had a dream in which Bhagavan told me that I would be transferred to Madras and that He would be going with me. When I woke up, I was confused and couldn’t believe it. I had not the faintest idea that transfer to Madras was possible where there was no place for a District Board Engineer. Anyway, I wrote a letter about the dream to Sri Ramanasramam and left it there. A few days later I came to know that the City Engineer’s post in the Madras Corporation had fallen vacant due to the then incumbent having been suspended on some corruption charges and they were thinking of posting a new engineer, with some foreign qualifications. It seems the Government of Madras had suggested my name and wanted the council to take a decision. I was thereupon interviewed by the Municipal Commissioner, and the names of all the candidates were put up to the Council for a decision. I was selected for appointment. The dream came true.

In September, 1943 I took charge of the post and entered the office which had been kept locked and sealed till then. I was in Madras for the next 15 years as Corporation Engineer, Chairman, City Improvement Trust, Chief Engineer, Highways till my retirement from Government service. I had ample indications, as in the dream at Madurai, that Bhagavan was with me, right through. After I came to Madras, Niranjananandaswamy, Sarvadhikari of Ramanasram, wanted me to be their representative at Madras a position which was till then occupied by a senior devotee, Manager of the Sunday Times. Purchases for the Ashram such as, stationery, building materials and contacting other devotees and similar jobs were entrusted to me. I had also a bank account opened in my name from the Ashram Book shop funds to pay for paper, printing charges etc. My visits to the Ashram had to be few and far between due to petrol rationing. My sister Madhaviamma who was stationed at Madras with her husband Dr. P. C. Nambiar was once pressurising me to take a trip to Tiruvannamalai by train. I said even if we went by train it would be difficult to move about at Tiruvannamalai without a car. So Bhagavan should help me to get a car.

A Bet on my prayer

It was 1944. A couple of days after this conversation with my sister, a friend of mine Sri Venkataratnam, the Sub-divisional Magistrate at Tiruvannamalai called at my office in Ripon Buildings. I had known him previously when he was Sub-magistrate at Tiruvannamalai. He had been promoted since and was now Sub-divisional Magistrate at Tiruvannamalai and settled comfortably in another spacious house. He invited us to go to Tiruvannamalai and stay with his family during the visit and promised to meet us at the railway station with his car, which would be kept at our disposal during our stay there. I felt that my prayer to Bhagavan was being answered and made arrangements to go to the Ashram with my wife and children and my sister Madhaviamma. Our train journey was comfortable in a first class compartment, although we had to change trains at Villupuram Junction. When we reached Tiruvannamalai station early

morning, Sri Venkataratnam was there on the platform awaiting us, not with one car as promised, but with two. The second car came in handy, as our party consisted of five including the two children.

I was talking to Sri Venkataratnam at his residence about my implicit faith in Bhagavan looking after his devotees, when he said “let us see about your journey to Madras; getting accommodation in the connecting train at Villupuram at night is always a gamble. There are three trains all near about midnight and one has to take a chance. It is very seldom that you get seats in the first train. Besides you are a party of five and that makes it extremely difficult”. I said I had no worry as Bhagavan would take good care of us. At this, he interjected, “Let us have a bet on this” and we decided to make it a crucial test.

On the return journey Mr. Venkataratnam saw us of at Tiruvannamalai station, where comfortable accommodation in a first class compartment was secured for us. He also sent a peon to accompany us in the same train up to Villupuram junction with the twofold objective of rendering us any assistance necessary until we were safely berthed in a connecting train at Villupuram, as also to check up on our bet how Bhagavan would come to our rescue to solve the usual difficulty expected at Villupuram Junction.

We alighted at Villupuram and waited for the first Madras bound train to arrive. We introduced ourselves to the Ticket Examiner, who promised his assistance to find suitable berths for all of us. When the train steamed in, we walked past all the upper class compartments, the Ticket Examiner keeping count of the vacant berths available. There were only two berths available in two different compartments. Those two were upper berths and we were five in all. We could not accept the two berths and could not break up the party and travel by night. All that the friendly Ticket Examiner could do was to suggest that we try our luck with the next train. But I would not give up hope. I was all the while praying to Sri Bhagavan and could not reconcile myself to the idea that we would be left stranded. Musing thus within myself, I felt like walking up to the front end of the train, where there were a few closed bogies adjacent to the engine. No passenger coaches are generally connected there but on that night, there was a brand-new looking first class bogie next to the engine nicely done up and polished and completely shuttered and closed being towed to Madras for some special purpose. On seeing it, I ran back along the platform and spoke to the Ticket Examiner about it. The sceptical Railway official came up with me and was surprised to find a new coach with all the doors and windows locked. On opening it with a key, we found an exquisite compartment with all the seats empty. With his permission all of us entered the compartment - six berths, all to ourselves - specially reserved! I repeated aloud “Om Namo Bhagavathe Sri Ramanaya! I have won the bet!”. Need we have any doubt whether Sri Bhagavan would answer the silent prayers of his devotees?

Mr. Venkatarathnam’s peon went back to Tiruvannamalai and narrated to him details about this miraculous incident. He was very pleasantly surprised and wrote me admitting that he lost the bet and his faith in Sri Bhagavan increased by leaps and bounds as it were. For me this was one more addition to my ever increasing list of miraculous incidents attributable solely to Bhagavan’s Grace towards this devotee whose surrender at his feet some years ago is now constantly repeated day and night. * ___________________________* An article about this “A Bet on a Prayer” was published in the Mountain Path April 1966 issue (pp. 161 - 2).

Another instance of Bhagavan’s help

Another miraculous incident which contributed to a substantial change in my official career took place early in 1946. We were then living in a house in Halls Road, Kilpauk. One morning I found a young man standing near my gate and looking towards our house. I went to the gate when he introduced himself as the son of Sri Veeraraghavachariar, well known engineer. I invited him inside. We sat in my office room and during the informal chat he casually mentioned that a party of engineers from India, including some from Madras Presidency were being sent on a deputation by the Government of India to UK and USA for specialising in Highway Engineering. He was surprised that I had not heard about it. The party was to leave India in a few days and those selected from Madras Presidency had already made the travel arrangements and so on. After helping himself to a cup of coffee he left the place.

Soon after his departure I felt a strong urge within me to find out more about it and put up my case for selection as one of the candidates from Madras. I belonged to the Madras District Board Engineers’ Cadre (The nucleus of the later Highways Department), on a deputation to the Madras Corporation and was not aware of what was going on in my parent department. Some engineers junior to me were in the panel for deputation. I wrote out an urgent petition to the Government of Madras requesting inclusion in the panel enclosing one letter received from the Under Secretary, Communication Department, how they could not think of a more competent engineer than myself to tackle a difficult job like the preparation of an estimate for Godavari Bridge etc.”

Foreign Deputation

The result was miraculous. Sir Thomas Austin the then Adviser to Government who saw my petition insisted on my inclusion in the panel if necessary omitting one of those selected. I was informed immediately and I had to make very hurried arrangements for leaving India. I could see Bhagavan’s hand in this matter, which will be obvious from the developments to be narrated below. Had he not mentioned to me in the dream that he would be with me in Madras?

I informed Sri Ramanasramam and prayed for Bhagavan’s blessings before leaving India. I wrote to Swami Omkar also to Thottappalli Hills. A reply came by next post enclosing introductions to a number of persons in USA who were members of the Peace Foundation Swamiji had established in America. I kept these for use after reaching USA While in England I received a letter from Sri Ramanasramam that Bhagavan was there with me in England also. The letter is quoted below:

SRI RAMANASRAMAM Tiruvannamalai, S. India 17th April, 1946.

We are glad to have your letter of the 12th from the train to Bombay. It is placed before Sri Bhagavan. We are prompted to write this letter just to make you feel that Sri Bhagavan is with you even there in England.

One English lady is intensely devoted to Sri Bhagavan. If you happen to go through Epsom, you may just call on her. She is at 17 St. Martins Avenue. Her name is Mrs. Victoria Doe, an old lady of over sixty, who lives with her only daughter. This is merely a suggestion, and you may forget all about it if your programme there does not permit you to touch Epsom on your travel line. A few days back she was asking us if she can meet any devotee of Sri Bhagavan and it will be such a happy event for her to spend even a few minutes with you.

Please be writing to us now and then. With Sri Bhagavan’s Gracious Blessings and our best wishes.

Yours sincerely,(Sd) Niranjananandaswami.Sarvadhikari.

Mrs. Victoria Doe

After reaching London, I took an early opportunity to go to Epsom, which was about three quarters of an hour journey by train to meet Mrs. Victoria Doe at her quiet residence, at 17, St. Martins Avenue. It was on 19.5.46. Mrs. Doe, who was nearing 80, lived with her only daughter, Miss Leena Doe. She had never come to India, never seen Bhagavan Sri Ramana in flesh and blood. Yet I was deeply moved by her devotion to Him. She had read about Him, prayed to Him, meditated on Him and lived in Him day in and day out. There was something trans-mundane, something related to a sphere other than the physical world that occasioned my visit to this elderly lady, who was a recluse to the social life in England. It seems she had written to the Ashram that much as she would have liked to go over to India to have a darshan of Sri Bhagavan, her circumstances did not permit it, and that she was very desirous of at least meeting some one who had seen him and had the good fortune to sit at his feet. Hence, the visit I paid her on the suggestion from the Ashram, was, in fact, the fulfilment of her long cherished desire.

Mrs. Doe with shaking hands took from her shelves sheaves of letters received from the Ashram and after kissing them with great reverence handed them over to me for perusal. All those were letters from the Ashram and had been meticulously preserved by her for many years. She had also with her all the English Publications of Sri Ramanasramam. She opened one of the books and running her shaky finger along the inscription on the first page “with Gracious Blessings from Sri Bhagavan”, burst into tears of joy and devotion. When she composed herself, she said “Mr. Nambiar, how lucky you are to have been able to be with Him, to see Him and hear Him speak. Here we treasure these books and letters as representing Him. Now he has sent you here. I feel that He is with us now”. Such love, such devotion to the Sage, so tenderly expressed, moved me to the depths of my being. Verily His Kingdom is the Heart of the devotee, and I have always found Him there enthroned.

I was told that the old lady had to undergo a serious operation two years ago, and though the surgeon and others felt that at her age it would be very difficult for her to stand the strain and risk involved, her supreme faith in Bhagavan enabled her to bear it all with calmness and fortitude. All the time I spent at her abode that day, we were thinking of Sri Bhagavan. This visit of mine, at the instance of Ramanasramam, was as much a confirmation of Bhagavan’s Grace to her, as it was to me of His guiding hand in all my affairs.

Shri A. Bose

In spite of the heavy schedule connected with the work of the deputation, I took time to visit Epsom again a fortnight later to see Mrs. Doe. This time Miss Doe met me at the door with a jubilant smile and took me to her drawing room, saying that she had a surprise awaiting me there; and lo! whom do I find sitting there? Mr. A. Bose (of Ramanasramam, Bose’s compound colony, named after him), who had flown to London and had likewise made it a point to see her as an ardent devotee of Sri Bhagavan. Indeed, had she not prayed to Sri Bhagavan that she might

have the opportunity to see some one of His devotees, who, at last, had had the privilege to sit at his feet? It was a happy thing for us two - Mr. Bose and myself - and one of the happiest moments in the lives of the Does. We decided to put on record our visit by taking a few snapshots of us having tea at her garden and by writing a joint letter to the Ashram, about our meeting, signed by all the four of us. * It was about this meeting that Sri Bhagavan mentioned in the hall on 7.8.46 afternoon . . . Mr. Nambiar is now in America. Mrs. Doe has written about Nambiar and Bose. She likes Nambiar very much and says he is a quiet man, unlike Bose, who is talkative.

Bhagavan’s mention of our letter **

Bhagavan added, “The notebook incident is even more remarkable. Nambiar came and sat in the hall as usual. As he was leaving, he came and showed the notebook to me. I asked him what the notebook was for, and he said “you asked for it and so I have brought it. You came in my dream and asked for it, giving me full directions, as to length, width, thickness, etc., and so I have made it accordingly and brought”. Madhavan was not there in the hall. When he returned, I called him and said “What have I been asking you for, these two or three days?” He replied ‘that bound notebook’. Then I asked, ‘why didn’t you give it to me?’ He replied ‘somehow I forgot it.’ Then I showed him the notebook brought by Nambiar and told him, ‘you could not give it and so he has brought this’. Mr. Nambiar is now in America. Mrs. Doe has written about Nambiar and Bose. She likes Nambiar very much and says he is a quiet man, unlike Bose, who is talkative. Such happenings were very common in the case of Aiyaswami who was with me. The moment I thought of anything, the same thought would occur to him and he would do what I wanted. I used to ask him, ‘why did you do this? and he would reply, ‘I don’t know. Somehow the thought came to me and so I did it.”’ T. S. R. said, “How is it, it is not our good fortune to have such calls made on us, as on Nambiar?” Then I told him “Why? You were asked to get ink and you brought the same”. Then Bhagavan said “Yes. He brought a bottle of Stephens ink, saying he had a dream in which I wanted it.” ___________________________* Just when I finished writing this above sentence in the manuscript, my wife came in showing a small photograph which had dropped down while cleaning up the albums and photos stored by her. She could not identify the persons in the photo and asked me who they were. Lo and behold! it was a copy of the photo taken at the residence of Mrs. Doe in England in 1946, Mr. Bose and myself standing on either side of Mrs. Doe. On the spot I decided that if ever the Reminiscences are published this small photograph should find a place therein.

** Devaraja Mudaliar, Day by Day with Bhagavan (1957), vol. II, p. 242 (7.8.46).

When Bhagavan said, “Things like these have not been included in any book, in any of the biographies.” I think, I replied, “I am noting down all such things in my diary. I shan’t omit them.”

I visited her again in January 1947 on my return to England after my travels in USA and spent some time talking about Bhagavan. In 1963, when my wife and I visited England, we called on her again. Meanwhile she had changed her residence to Harrow, in Middlesex. She was now in her nineties and was very happy to see my wife and presented her with an old copy of ‘Maharshi’s Gospel’, book I, which she traced out from her collections of Ramana literature. Running her shaky finger across some lines which she had underlined in the book, she kissed it and handed over the booklet to my wife. My wife is keeping the book to remind her of this memorable visit to this venerable old devotee of Sri Bhagavan.

United States - Mrs. Eleanor Pauline Noye

After a couple of weeks I had to sail for the United States, along with my co-deputationists and Mr. Bose had to go to Germany temporarily transformed into a Colonel on some technical mission connected with War Reparations. During my tour of the Western States, I had the good fortune to meet another great devotee of Sri Bhagavan, Mrs. Eleanor Pauline Noye. Unlike Mrs. Doe, Mrs. Noye had once come to India and had spent several months at the Ashram. She lived in a quiet house in San Fernando Valley, bordering Hollywood in Los Angeles, California, and was planning to visit the Ashram again as soon as a visa could be obtained for the journey. In between my official tours I snatched a day to pay a visit to her. From my hotel in the centre of Los Angeles, I went to Van Nuys in a street car (tram). Mrs. Noye was waiting for me at the Van Nuys Tram Terminus, with her automobile. Her sister Betty also had come driving another automobile. Mrs. Noye was wearing a simple ochre coloured frock and on seeing me burst into profuse tears as soon as our eyes met. She could hardly utter a few words of welcome, for such was her emotion on seeing one who had come from Sri Bhagavan. She drove me to her home where she lived with her sister and brother-in-law. We spent several hours talking about Sri Bhagavan, and also wrote a joint letter to the Ashram about my visit to that place. After spending the day in her apartment, which had all the air of a hermitage, I returned to my hotel in the evening.

This letter was received by Bhagavan on 29.10.46, as mentioned in Day by Day with Bhagavan extracted below:-

“This morning, a letter was received by Bhagavan from Mrs. Noye, Betty and Mr. K. K. Nambiar, in which Mrs. Noye expressed joy and gratitude for K. K. N. having met her and Betty at the suggestion of the Ashram and described how she felt as if Bhagavan was present with her.”

She returned my visit two days later, when we spent the whole evening talking about Sri Bhagavan and meditating on him. After dinner at my hotel, I accompanied her back to San Fernando Valley. By this time it was half past ten at night. Her sister had already retired. Mrs. Noye and myself sat alone in her drawing room and decided to meditate on Sri Bhagavan. I had only a few minutes to spare, for I had to catch the last street-car to go back to my hotel to pack up my kit and with my colleagues proceed to the Los Angeles Airport to catch the plane bound for Nebraska. Both of us sat with closed eyes, meditating on Sri Bhagavan whose physical body was more than ten thousand miles away. All the same I felt his presence. The peace that I enjoyed during those few moments was indescribable. Mrs. Noye also felt the same way. I took leave of her and hurriedly retraced my way to the Van Nuys Tram Terminus. By the time I reached my Hotel at Los Angeles, my colleagues had already left for the airport. So I hurriedly packed up, paid my dues and proceeded to the airport just in time to board the plane.

I felt Bhagavan’s help right through and when I was comfortably seated in the plane and was flying high above the clouds, I felt an urge to write to the Ashram about the air journey in the small hours of the morning, the sublime feeling and the peace that enveloped me at that time.... I was told that when this letter reached the Ashram and was handed over to Bhagavan, he read it out in the hearing of all those around him and eventually gave it to some of them for perusal. Sri K. Natesan now at the Ashram told me that he was one of the devotees who perused the letter all that time.

Meeting Bose again in New York

Some days later, at Chicago I received a letter from Miss Doe in England with whom I had left a copy of our itinerary. She wrote to say that Mr. Bose had finished his assignment in Germany,

was back in England and would be arriving in New York by the time I returned there from the West. She regretted her inability to give me his address there. On flying back to New York I took a room at a hotel known as The Embassy, and was wondering how I could get at the address of Mr. Bose. That night, I decided to enquire at the offices of well-known travel agents such as the American Express or Messrs. Thomas Cook & Son to trace the whereabouts of Mr. Bose. Next morning I came out of my room, and standing at the elevator shaft, rang for the lift to go down to the breakfast room. The lift arrived, the door opened and lo! Mr. Bose was there in the lift to travel down to the breakfast room along with me! It might be that it was a coincidence, but it was some thing very remarkable indeed, if you consider that there were at that time 516 hotels in the city of New York and most of them of such dimensions that even while living for weeks together in the same hotel, we could have missed coming across each other, and my stay in that city in that trip was only for a few days. A mere fortuitous coincidence to the unbeliever, but to me it was one of those miraculous incidents of Sri Bhagavan helping His devotees.

Since then, I have had many such incidents to confirm my unquestionable faith in Sri Bhagavan, a few of them I intend recording later if space permits.

Gramophone record from Chicago

On 24.9.46, while in Chicago I mailed a gramophone record to Sri Ramanasramam in which 4 Sanskrit slokas in praise of Bhagavan were recorded in my voice.

The slokas chanted by me are:

1.

2.

3.

4.

At the same time I recorded * a letter also to my wife and children at Madras, Halls Road, Kilpauk. Both the covers with the records were posted at the same time. Strange to say, while the record addressed to Sri Ramanasramam reached there in due time, the other cover did not reach my family at all. On my return to India, in 1947, I was told by the Ashramites that Bhagavan was pleased to hear the record played a number of times in the hall, in the presence of other devotees. It appears that the plastic record being thin and light weight, was sliding and distorting the sound. Bhagavan himself indicated that it could be tied to the disc at the outer edge of the record to keep it steady. He also remarked that the four slokas chanted by me had been selected from different sources and pointed them out to the devotees. This record preserved in the Ashram office was handed over to me by Sri Niranjanananda Swami, after Sri Bhagavan’s Mahasamadhi along with some other relics which I am preserving as a sacred treasure.

Extension of my deputation

By October, 1946, the work of the Highways Delegation came to a close and all of us had packed up to return to India, when the Indian Embassy (known as Agent General’s Office, then) got a cable from Madras, saying that I should stay back for a new assignment in connection with the preparation of a New Building code for the City of Madras. It came about this way. The Prithvi Insurance Building in George Town, Madras collapsed during the process of carrying out repairs killing several persons. The Judicial enquiry into the causes of disaster revealed serious deficiencies in the City Municipal Bye-laws and pointed out the urgent need to modernise them by bringing them on a par with those of similar cities abroad. It was suggested that I should study in detail the building bylaws of Detroit City, USA and Birmingham in UK which were then of comparable size to Madras in population, and also those of New York and London in general, so as to prepare a new Draft Building Code for Madras. So all my companions left leaving me alone. No, I was not alone. Bhagavan was always with me. It was hard work, touring many cities in America and England, meeting building officials, attending conferences. One of them in New Orleans, Louisiana. Colour prejudice was quite rampant there in those days making it difficult for a lone Indian to move about, and yet in His own miraculous way, Bhagavan helped me to complete my assignment and fly back home safe, towards, the end of Feb., 1947.

Colour film of Bhagavan made by me

The first thing I did after arrival at Madras and being united with my family was to take a trip to Tiruvannamalai to meet Bhagavan in flesh and blood. Before leaving New York I had purchased a cine camera and some spools of 8 mm colour film and I wanted to make a small movie picture at the Ashram. After obtaining necessary permission from Sarvadhikari and Bhagavan I took a number of shots of Bhagavan moving about in the Ashram premises, dining hall, ‘goshala’, etc. Bhagavan, particularly asked me to take a picture of the white peacock moving about in the hall and outside. The peacock was the one brought by the Maharani of Baroda and it was said to be Bhagavan’s attendant, Madhavan, reborn after his demise in July 1946. Also included in that film was Bhagavan’s favourite cow Lakshmi being caressed by him, as well as myself and my wife kneeling at his feet. I made sure that my forehead was touching his feet while he was standing in the ashram compound in the company of a large number of devotees, including Sri Niranjananandaswami and his family members. The spool was completed with some shots of the Ashram Garden and portraits of Chadwick and Dr. Sayeed, and the holy hill of Arunachala.

In the period 1947-50 I made frequent visits to the Ashram and took an active part in the design and construction of the Hall attached to Sri Matrubhuteshwara Shrine. The late Sri Vaidyanatha Sthapati who was in charge of the stone masonry and other sculptural details of the work kept in close touch with me. Bhagavan also watched the progress of the work and at times asked me questions about some structural details.

Yogasana and the cushions

By now Bose too was back at the Ashram and was busy overseeing the preparation of a ‘Yogasana’ in black granite to be used by Bhagavan, when the hall was completed. It was to be a gift by him to the ashram. The idea then struck me that I should provide the necessary cushions - a mattress and backrest suitable for this Yogasana. Immediately on my return to Madras I contacted the T. V. S. people and requested them to arrange for preparing the cushion in their upholstery department with the best materials available. When they were completed I arranged to carry them to Tiruvannamalai. The cushions were made with plush cloth (smooth and shiny like velvet) and they had particularly asked me not to bend the mattresses or attempt to roll them up for transporting to Tiruvannamalai. I had therefore to carry them on the roof of my car. On arrival at the Ashram, when I went and sat before Bhagavan, he mentioned to me that it looked

as if I had carried them on my head, though he had no occasion to see the way I carried it on the car. “Thalayil vechukondu varunna mathiriyundu” was what he said. It gave me a pleasant thrill.

During one of the subsequent visits when I asked Bhagavan whether he was using the cushion, he replied that he would sit on the Yogasana at a muhurtham to be fixed for it. Accordingly he started sitting on the cushion, but when the hot weather came the yogasana and the plush cushions were getting too warm and Bhagavan restarted using the usual sofa and cushions thereon.

Bhagavan’s enquiries about my work

During my frequent visits to the Ashram, the Sarvadhikari kept me busy with various things to be done as well as at Madras. I virtually functioned as an agent of the Ashram for procuring materials for construction purposes and also paper etc., for the book shop, for which purpose I opened a bank account at Madras, in the name of the Ashram, to be operated by me. That Bhagavan was aware of and was watching the details of the construction work at the Ashram was obvious from some of the questions he asked me; e.g., why I had arranged for a barrel of Asphalt to be brought there. I had to explain the use of asphalt for expansion joints in the concrete floor being laid around the hall and so on. He also kept a watch on my official career and the nature of the work I had to do. Just when I was promoted from the Corporation Engineer’s level to be the Chairman of the City Improvement Trust, he asked me what sort of work I would be engaged in, in the new job. I gave him the details which he listened to patiently. Likewise after a year and a half when I was recalled to P. W. D., Highways Department as Superintending Engineer with the object of making me the Chief Engineer, on the retirement of the then European incumbent, Bhagavan questioned me and also asked me whether I would not be a loser in my emoluments. I replied that there could not be any reduction as per rules. What Bhagavan said was “sambalam kurayumallo”. But despite all rules, I suffered a reduction in my salary for a year and a half, till I was promoted as Chief Engineer?” Bhagavan also used to enquire about my sister Madhavi Amma, who was then in the Ashram with her husband Dr. P. C. Nambiar.

Locus of meditation - doubts cleared

Bhagavan also gave me guidance in my spiritual Sadhanas whenever required. Once, it was about the locus of meditation. In spite of instructions in the Ashram publications to concentrate at the heart centre located on the right side of the chest, I was at times tempted to try other centres such as mooladhara (base of the spine), nasikagra (tip of the nose) and bhrumadhya (the space between the eyebrows) as mentioned in various books on yoga and Upanishads which I came across now and then. How Totapuri showed the spot between the eyebrows to Ramakrishna Paramahamsa as the locus to be meditated upon and how the sage went into samadhi on such meditation, was fresh in my mind. So when I chanced to get an opportunity as Bhagavan was reclining on the sofa alone in the hall, I went and prostrated before him and asked the question. Instead of giving me a straight reply he got down from the sofa and going to the rotating shelf nearby, took out a copy of Ramana Gita and opened it right on the page and read out the sloka 4, Chapter V.

::

“If the Heart be located in anahatachakra how does the practice of Yoga begin in muladhara?”

He asked me when the heart centre was there, why not go directly to its instead of going through some other centres? He also asked me in Malayalam, “To come to Tiruvannamalai from Madras why should you go to Banares first and then come down all the way, or why go to Rameshwaram and come up here. Why not come straight?” The instructions were quite clear. But I felt distressed over the fact that Bhagavan had to point out to me chapter and verse from Ramana Gita to dispel my doubt when Hridaya Vidya had been fully detailed in Chapter V. Bhagavan had written out the whole of Ramana Gita in his own handwriting and given me a copy with His blessings and I hadn’t yet found time to study it in detail and follow the instructions therein.

One day when my sister and I went before Bhagavan she mentioned to Him about a patch of eczema on my right leg near the ankle which had been plaguing me for 20 years in spite of various treatments tried out. Bhagavan said “it will go by itself” “Athu thaniye poyidum”, After sometime the eczema got cured by itself. After a few months, one day Dr. T. N. Krishnaswami wanted me to take some ointment to Bhagavan as he had some eczematic patches [patches of eczema], on his body, near the neck. Immediately I took the medicine to Tiruvannamalai handled it over to Bhagavan. I was told that the eczema on Bhagavan’s body disappeared in a few days.

Bhagavan’s love - nongu and fruit juice

On another day when I was at the Ashram I was kept busy by Chinnaswami on some maramat work and I had practically no time to sit in Bhagavan’s presence before lunch. After lunch Bhagavan was resting alone in the hall and nobody was allowed to go inside at that time. A notice board was also put up outside the closed door to that effect. But having nothing else to do and nowhere to go to while away the couple of hours, I went and sat outside on the steps meditating on Bhagavan. I was sitting at the corner of the steps where, even if the door be open Bhagavan could not have seen me. Some time later, one of the attendants went inside, when Bhagavan mentioned to him that I had been sitting outside on the step and asked him to call me in to sit inside the hall. When I went in, Bhagavan was reclining on the coach inside a mosquito curtain. He signalled me to sit nearby. I closed my eyes and restarted the meditation, when the attendant brought a glass of orange juice and half a dozen tender palmyra fruits (nongus) for Bhagavan. On instructions from Bhagavan, the attendant passed on two nongus to me. I had not taken a nongu like that before. Only the tip of the nongu was cleaned by removing the fibre and exposing three eyes like holes. I did not know how to strip it and get at the succulent flesh inside. Bhagavan, who was watching my discomfiture showed me how by pressing with the thumb at one of the eyes, the pulp would pop up at another one where it could be sucked into the mouth. I followed this method and enjoyed eating both the nongus. Meanwhile Bhagavan drank part of the orange juice and gave me the rest to drink. That was his ‘samadrishti’ and kindness to devotees.

Bhagavan’s illness - first operation

It was towards the close of the year 1948 that the Ashram Doctor Shankar Rao noticed a small nodule under the skin behind the left elbow of Bhagavan. The nodule gradually increased in size when the doctor carried out a small operation to remove it. It was on 9th February, 1949. Though the wound of the operation healed in a week’s time, the nodule reappeared and was growing fast.

Mahakumbhabhishekam

Meanwhile the dates fixed for the Kumbhabhishekam of the Matrubhuteshwara Temple, 14 to 17th of March, were approaching. I took leave and went to the Ashram and busied myself helping in the arrangements for the ceremony. 17th was the final day for the actual kumbhabhishekam. On the 16th night, the Meruchakra was installed in the sanctum sanctorum. A silver replica of the chakra gifted to us as Prasada is still with me being worshipped in our Pooja room.

On the 17th noon when the Purohits were on top of the gopuram to perform the abhishekam. Bhagavan wanted to watch the ceremony. He was quite weak at that time and I helped him to get up from the couch and walk to the outside garden. My arm was around his waist to help him to walk erect and sit on a chair in the garden to have an unobstructed view of the abhishekam ceremony. After the ceremony Bhagavan was helped back into the hall. I cherished it as a special privilege accorded to me to be of service in this manner.

In the same night when some poojas were going on for the newly installed Meruchakra inside the sanctum sanctorum, Bhagavan was sitting in the front hall on the Yogasana surrounded by a large number of devotees. I was sitting just below the Yogasana. The time for dinner approached. Leaves were spread in the temporary dining hall (a thatched pandal outside) and people had marched in and occupied all the seats. Meals could not be served before Bhagavan also came and sat. As the pooja was still going on with chanting of mantras, Bhagavan showed no inclination to get up in spite of being told that people had gone and occupied the seats in the pandal and were waiting for Bhagavan, to start the service. At that time Sarvadhikari (Niranjananandaswami) sent for me and suggested that I should speak to Bhagavan to get up and join the party, allowing the pooja to continue, as otherwise the impatient crowd in the pandal might get unruly. I approached Bhagavan and made the suggestion, when Bhagavan angrily retorted “why should he (sarvadhikari) start these things when there is not enough time and hustle people?” and sat tight. This was I think perhaps the only occasion I found Bhagavan getting into a sort of angry mood. The purohits hurried up the rituals and soon after Bhagavan and the rest of us went into the dining hall.

There were two or three other occasions I could remember when Sarvadhikari or Mouni Srinivasa Rao deputised me to approach Bhagavan when they could not succeed in some matters. I shall refer to them later.

2nd operation

The whole of 1949 was an eventful year, painful for many of the devotees. Bhagavan had to undergo a second operation on 29th of March. A team of surgeons headed by Dr. Raghavachari, came from Madras with all the requisite paraphernalia, and removed the entire growth together with some surrounding tissue. The test of the tissue removed confirmed malignancy and the disease was diagnosed as Sarcoma, a type of Cancer.

The wound would not heal up. Doctors started radium treatment. Bhagavan was getting weaker day by day. Amputation of the left arm was suggested; but the devotees were all against it, and Bhagavan himself did not agree to it. In fact during this period, he was a patient and unaffected witness, allowing the devotees to deal with his body as they thought best. At the suggestion of a some local devotees a village physician was allowed to treat him with some herbal medicines. Bandaging with this green paste aggravated the disease as though sepsis was setting in. At the suggestion of the Ashram I took Dr. Guruswami Mudaliar from Madras in my car to see Bhagavan and prescribe some treatment after which the doctor returned to Madras.

3rd operation - “Let Nambiar come and see”

The third operation was done on 14th of August after a medical board discussed the matter and decided that that was the only chance to save Bhagavan’s life. Though the wound healed up, it reappeared higher up in a more malignant form. I was at the Ashram at that time. I was busy looking after some Ashram maramath as usual, somewhere in the compound with Niranjananandaswami. Bhagavan’s arm was being dressed in the hall. After the bandages were removed exposing the cancerous growth, Bhagavan seemed to have remarked “Let Nambiar come and see it, Call him, he is somewhere here”, Hearing of it, I hastened to the hall to see the sight which brought tears into my eyes. It was a bunch of tissues - a growth like cauliflower, higher up from the elbow where I had seen the original growth. Bhagavan did not give the least indication of pain or discomfort, when the medical attendant dressed it up again. I went back to Niranjananandaswami to complete my business with him.

Fourth operation

On 19th December, 1949 the growth which was spreading upward malignantly behind the upper arm and spreading into Bhagavan’s muscles was again operated on for the fourth and last time by allopathic surgeons. There being no hope of cure by such surgical operation, homeopathy was tried out.

Some 16mm films made by me

In between, one day when I was taking some 16mm movie pictures of Bhagavan’s movements in and around the Ashram buildings, we approached a room where Mrs. Osborne was sitting. At that time we were speaking amongst ourselves about the futility of continuing the allopathic treatment. When some one suggested ayurvedic treatment, Bhagavan who had overheard the conversation asked “why not give Mrs. Osborne a chance? She had been repeatedly suggesting homeopathy?”. I am quoting this instance to show that Bhagavan who allowed things to take their own course and was not concerned with the body’s illness, submitted to these various treatments only for the sake of His devotees.

Photo of Bhagavan on Yogasana

When a devotee from Andhra Pradesh asked the Sarvadhikari’s permission to take a series of still photographs of Bhagavan in various postures, it was suggested that he should take a photo of Bhagavan sitting on the Yogasana with the Sarvadhikari and some of us standing or sitting nearby. Accordingly Sri Sastri and the Sarvadhikari stood behind the Yogasana while Vaidyanatha Sthapati and myself were made to squat in front, on either side. Bhagavan remarked that one was the Indian Sthapati of the ancient system while the other (referring to me) was the modern Sthapati (an engineer or architect)”. I was delighted to hear this and be made to sit on the floor by the side of the Yogasana.

Homeopathy - also Mouni’s mixture

Homeopathy was tried with its own dieting system and medicines. There was no improvement and Bhagavan was getting weaker. One day when Bhagavan refused to take a cup of nutritious decoction prepared by Mouni Srinivasa Rao, I happened to be in the Ashram office. Mouni asked me to try my influence with Maharshi saying that He should be made to drink it somehow if the homeopathic medicines were to produce the desired results. I went to Bhagavan with the glass of juice given by Mouni and requested Him to sip it somehow, explaining that it was an aid

to the homeopathic treatment. Bhagavan was in a reclining posture and I helped the glass to his lips. He just sipped a little and asked me to take it back to Mouni, saying “Ithil ennennamo pottu kalakkirar” (Something has been mixed in this). I had no other alternative but to return to Mouni disappointed that my mission had failed. I then asked Mouni what exactly the contents of the glass were, when he explained that it was a special concoction prepared by himself (and not any special drink prescribed in homeopathy as I had been originally led to believe). The decoction was made with almonds, pistas, grapes etc., by boiling them in water heated in a large 200 watt electric bulb, with the brass top knocked off, using a spirit lamp on his own work-desk. The whole idea was his own. Bhagavan obviously wanted to rebuke him for it. So I felt my own intervention in the matter was uncalled for!

Ayurvedic treatment - Ishwaran Moosad

Afterwards ayurvedic treatment was also tried. A well-known physician from Malabar, Iswaran Moosad came and saw the case. He felt that it was in a far too advanced stage for ayurvedic treatment. However, he felt that it was a divine opportunity given to him to be of some service to Bhagavan. He could not speak English or Tamil and had to speak in Malayalam which one of the Ashram attendants had to translate. After dressing the wound and applying medicines, he spent most of the time in prayers, sadhanas and visiting Arunachaleshwarar Temple. I happened to be at the Ashram at that time. Sarvadhikari asked me to be with Bhagavan when Iswaran Moosad was attending on him dressing the arm. Bhagavan was sitting on the bed in his usual reclining posture. I was asked to hold His left outstretched arm. I held his palm in my right hand. Moosad removing the bandage and cleaning the wound. He spoke in Malayalam, some of which I translated, though I was sure Bhagavan could make out every word of it. My translation of the conversation was more useful to Moosad and others standing nearby. When I was holding Bhagavan’s hand in this way he bestowed a look of Grace on me and I also felt a gentle squeeze of my palm, while holding his fingers, which sent a thrill all over my body. I was previously nursing a remorse for having unknowingly given some pain to Bhagavan’s body. I was massaging his legs when he was lying down with his body covered with a white sheet of cloth. I happened to press at a tender part of the foot where some drip needle had punctured the skin. Bhagavan’s leg jerked indicating that I had inflicted pain on the body. I felt very sorry for having inadvertently caused the pain. This remorse was lingering in me all these days, but when I felt the gentle squeeze from Bhagavan’s hand, it disappeared once and for all.

There was no substantial improvement with the Ayurvedic treatment and Bhagavan was getting weaker day by day. Lastly Siddha system was also tried out when some devotees from Calcutta arranged to bring a well-known leading Siddha expert Jogendra Natha Sastry.

Siddha system treatment

I got a message from the Ashram that the Siddha physician and his wife along with Sri Mazumdar (a long-standing devotee of Bhagavan) would be arriving by air next morning and asking me to meet them at Meenambakkam airport and bring them to the Ashram. It was also mentioned that they were very orthodox people and wouldn’t eat or drink anything from a Coffee House and therefore I should bring them expeditiously to the Ashram, 120 miles away, for their refreshments. Notwithstanding such instructions I took some pure boiled milk in a silver kooja, thinking that they would have no objection to have it after the night’s long journey by air from Calcutta. The plane arrived early morning and on their alighting from the aircraft I introduced myself as the emissary from the Ashram. They declined the milk. I took them in my car “Austin 12 four heavy” and drove at a steady speed of about 50 miles-an-hour and went straight to the Ashram. As soon as we reached the Ashram, the physician was taken to examine

Sri Bhagavan. His wife went for a bath and unpacking her bundle of cooking vessels started cooking their meal. Such was the strictness of their orthodoxy that they would rather endure such long privation than eat food at other places.

The Siddha medicines prescribed were obtained immediately and treatment started, though the doctor himself felt that it was rather too late in the day. He promised to send some more powerful medicines as soon as they went back as some of them were not available here. Yet the general condition of Bhagavan’s body was deteriorating fast and Bhagavan was finding it difficult to get up and walk to the adjoining bathroom.

Bhrigu Nadi - my request to prolong life

One of these days I went near Bhagavan’s bedside and mentioned about the prophecy of his illness in the Bhrigu Nadi readings. It had been mentioned therein that if Bhagavan would make up his mind to cure himself of this malady by his yogic powers, the rest of the readings would be relevant and so on. At this Bhagavan smiled and replied that he remembered having seen those readings and would like to see them again. He also mentioned that my sister Madhavi Amma had also written to him likewise to cure himself, for the sake of his devotees. Bhagavan kept silent thereafter.

My giving medicines - 2 days before Mahasamadhi

Bhagavan’s blood pressure and low rate of pulse were causing anxiety. Devotees from Madras and other places were going there to have a last darshan of him as it were. I too was there on the (12th of April 1950) and wanted to seek his blessings for the Nootana grihapravesham of my new house built in Gandhinagar, Madras fixed for the 13th April, Tamil New Year’s day. That day Bhagavan declined to take the usual dose of medicine. So, Niranjananandaswami asked me to try and coax him to take the medicine. When I went to the bedside with the cup he was lying in a slanting posture, with half closed eyes, having occasional hiccoughs. I put the medicine to his lips. He did not open his mouth properly to take it in. The liquid medicine was flowing out from the side of his half closed mouth, when he said to me in a feeble voice “ethellam adangatte” (let all this subside). That was the last thing he spoke to me and he closed his eyes when his hiccoughs started again. I still don’t know whether he meant “Let the hiccoughs subside, or let the pranas subside”, meaning the approaching absorption into the Eternal. I returned to Madras the same afternoon.

Mahasamadhi

On the 13th a letter was received from Sri Niranjananandaswami communicating Bhagavan’s Blessings for the Nootana Grihapravesam. The ceremony was over. The next day was Vishu (new year’s day for Malayalees) and I was arranging the furniture, the pictures and photographs to be hung on the wall. It was at 6 in the evening that the large photograph of Bhagavan in the Padmasana posture was hung by my wife and myself, with veneration and prayers, in the drawing room.

Meteor in the sky

Later in the evening, after dinner, my wife and I with children came out into the courtyard and were discussing among ourselves where to have a sit out, where to locate the benches, when suddenly my younger son, Vijayan started looking at the sky. “Papa, see what is in the sky, a big star?” We all looked up. Somewhere in the western sky was a bright meteor moving at an

unusual speed, too slow for a shooting star, and too fast for an aircraft. My immediate intuition was about Bhagavan and I exclaimed “It is Bhagavan passing away” and started reciting the sloka

Aparasatchit sukhavariraser Yasyormimatram bhuvanam samastam 1 Guhahitam tam Ramanam gabheeram cintaviheenam hridi cintayami 11

Meanwhile we were watching the meteor moving across the firmament and finally vanishing in the eastern horizon. The time was 8.47 p.m. We had no doubt that the heavenly indication was about Bhagavan’s Mahanirvana. I was so sure about it that I even mentioned to my wife that I should leave for Tiruvannamalai immediately. Soon after, we got a telephone message from my friend Sri P. S. G. Rao who lived nearby that he got the news of Bhagavan’s passing away from his friend in the P. T. I. (Press Trust of India).

Having packed some clothes, etc., to stay for a couple of days, if need be, at Tiruvannamalai, I left at about midnight driving my own car and reached the ashram in the small hours of the morning. I was met at the ashram gate by Sri Thoppiah Mudaliar. He said that they were waiting for me to finalise the exact location of the Samadhi and recounted to me in detail the happenings of the previous night regarding the dispute between the sarvadhikari and some devotees.

Location of Samadhi - original idea

Here I should go back to the previous ideas about the location of Bhagavan’s Samadhi. When the Matrubhuteswara Shrine and the adjoining hall were being constructed, the idea was that Bhagavan’s Samadhi, if and when it had to be installed, should be by the side of the hall on the right side, facing south, so that people could stand in front of the Sanctum Sanctorum of the Mother and worship Bhagavan also at the same time, (as in some temples where two deities are installed at right angles). With this object in view I had arranged with the contractors. Gannon Dunkerly & Co., who were laying the R. C. Roofing over the verandahs, to leave two joints in the northern verandah, to facilitate demolition of part of the R. C. slab to locate the Vimanam and Gopuram over Bhagavan’s Samadhi. Though Sarvadhikari and others close to the management of the Ashram were aware of this arrangement, the generality of the devotees and the people of the town did not know about it.

My Dream regarding location of Samadhi

Early in April 50 (on the 2nd) I had a dream. Bhagavan was lying on the bed in the room now known as Samadhi room with its doors partially open, speaking to Niranjananandaswami and Venkattoo standing in front with their backs towards me. Bhagavan could see me standing outside the room at some distance. He told them “Nambiar is waiting outside; call him in.” On my entering the room Bhagavan got down from the bed and leaning on a walking stick walked outside followed by three of us. He took us to the side of the Palitheertham to a spot parallel to the Mathrubhuteshwara Shrine and drew a rectangle on the ground with his walking stick, as though to indicate the place of His Mahasamadhi.

The dream ended. The message was very clear to me. I noted it down with a sketch in a notebook as usual. I hurried to the Ashram and mentioned the details of the dream to Sri Omandur Ramaswami Reddiar who was standing outside Bhagavan’s Samadhi room and explained how the site indicated in the dream, conflicted with our preconceived ideas. He

suggested that I should discuss the matter with Sarvadhikari. The latter simply pooh poohed the idea and said “You please go and keep these dreams and visions to yourself. Don’t create complications, we have enough problems already.” I spoke also to Sri T. K. Duraiswami Iyer and some others and left the matter there, thinking that we could face the issue when it arose.

Actual location - as in dream

On the 14th night, after Bhagavan entered Mahasamadhi and the meteor traversed the sky and disappeared behind Arunachala, the people of the town gathered in large numbers held a meeting as it were and protested vehemently against the idea of locating Bhagavan’s Samadhi as a subsidiary to the Mother’s Shrine. They wanted a bigger shrine and hall for Bhagavan, and at any rate nothing less in dimensions. Sarvadhikari wanted to stick to the original idea and vehemently opposed the new suggestion swearing that he would not permit it even at the cost of his life (What he seemed to have said was that they would have to carry Bhagavan’s Body, over his dead body to the place they wanted. This was what Thoppiah Mudaliar told me) but their idea coincided with what Bhagavan had indicated to me in the dream. After much argument, Niranjanananda Swami had to give in, before he went to bed. Hence, Mr. Mudaliar asked me to check up the exact location and whether the structure to be put up over the Mahasamadhi could be at least equal in dimensions, if not larger than the Matrubhuteshwara Hall.

They had already started excavation cutting rectangle in the rocky substratum as instructed by Vaidyanatha Stapathi. I checked it accurately with a steel tape and shifted the centre nine inches northward to give exactly the same interior width as the Matrubhuteshwara Shrine. Nothing bigger was possible. Even this meant protruding about 9” obliquely into the wall of Bhagavan’s old hall. Excavation of the Samadhi pit was completed accordingly and everything got ready for the installation ceremony that evening.

I kept myself busy the whole day looking after the arrangements for interring Bhagavan’s body in Padmasana posture in the pit excavated, in the centre of the larger rectangular excavation. Ashes and Camphor powder mixed together and other articles to be interred in the Samadhi pit were got ready and amidst loud chantings, the body was lowered into the pit and temporarily covered over with slabs.

Conclusion

Even after Bhagavan’s Mahasamadhi, my participation in Ramanasramam matters has continued without a break. Bhagavan’s physical absence has been no handicap, for, He continues to guide me in dreams, visions and so many other ways. Yet, these further reminiscences may form the subject matter of another booklet, if Bhagavan so desires.

OM NAMO BHAGAVATE SRI RAMANAYA

APPENDIX

Verses from Yoga Vasishta

The ten slokas selected by Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi to describe the state of Jeevan Mukti are from Yoga vasishta, upasama prakaranam, 17-26 of sarga 18, and are given below:-

17:::18:::19:20:21::2223::24:25:::26

Of these, the slokas 20 and 23 were incorporated in verse 26 of anubandham to Ulladu Narpadu. Likewise the slokas 24 and 26 were incorporated in Verse 27 of the anubandham. The remaining six slokas were printed separately in loose sheets by the Ashram authorities, with translations in English. One of these copies, given to me by Sri Niranjanananda Swami, is as reproduced below:-

VERSES FROM THE YOGA VASISHTA

SELECTED BY SRI BHAGAVAN RAMANA MAHARSHI OFTIRUVANNAMALAI

Steady in the state of fullness which shines when all desires are given up, and peaceful in the state of freedom in life, act playfully in the world, O Raghava!

:::

Inwardly free from all desires, dispassionate and detached, but outwardly active in all directions, act playfully in the world, O Raghava!

:::

Outwardly full of zeal in action but free from any zeal at heart, active in appearance but inwardly peaceful, work playfully in the world, O Raghava

:

Free from egoism, with mind detached as in sleep, pure like the sky, ever untainted, act playfully in the world, O Raghava!

::

Conducting yourself nobly and with kindly tenderness, outwardly conforming to conventions but inwardly renouncing all, act playfully in the world, O Raghava!

:

Quite unattached at heart but for all appearance acting as if with attachment, inwardly cool but outwardly full of fervour, act playfully in the world, O Raghava!

Ramanasramam. 8.6.36.