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To explore the concepts of guidance To explore the concepts of guidance and disciplineand discipline

To examine anticipated difficulties To examine anticipated difficulties throughout each developmental stagethroughout each developmental stage

To identify appropriate guidance To identify appropriate guidance strategies and techniques for dealing strategies and techniques for dealing with children of all ages with children of all ages

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To lead or to To lead or to show show

someone the someone the way to reach a way to reach a

goalgoal

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Involves ways of helping children learn to behave Involves ways of helping children learn to behave appropriatelyappropriately

Teaches children to control their actions and to make Teaches children to control their actions and to make decisionsdecisions

Combines support, encouragement, and setting limitsCombines support, encouragement, and setting limits Encourages appropriate behavior and helps stop problem Encourages appropriate behavior and helps stop problem

behaviorbehavior Promotes the development of self-confidence and self-Promotes the development of self-confidence and self-

controlcontrol Needed to keep children safe and healthyNeeded to keep children safe and healthy Helps children to like themselves and to get along well Helps children to like themselves and to get along well

with others. When combined with love and respect, with others. When combined with love and respect, children develop an inner sense of self-control and self-children develop an inner sense of self-control and self-confidenceconfidence

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To train someone physically, intellectually, To train someone physically, intellectually, emotionally and sociallyemotionally and socially

When combined with love and respect, it When combined with love and respect, it helps children to develop self-esteem and helps children to develop self-esteem and responsibilityresponsibility

Parents, teachers, caregivers and others Parents, teachers, caregivers and others train children when they talk, teach, hold and train children when they talk, teach, hold and spend time with themspend time with them

INEFFECTIVEINEFFECTIVE EFFECTIVEEFFECTIVEEMPHASIS EMPHASIS ON…ON…

Stopping behavior

Learning proper behavior

CHILD OBEYS CHILD OBEYS BECAUSE BECAUSE OF…OF…

Fear Love & respect

PARENT’S PARENT’S ATTITUDE IS…ATTITUDE IS…

Control & anger

Love

PURPOSE IS…PURPOSE IS… Suffering & pain

Self-discipline

RESULT IS…RESULT IS… Dependency Growth

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Divert attentionDivert attentionSet limits Set limits Offer choicesOffer choicesRedirectRedirectTimeoutsTimeoutsReinforce behaviorReinforce behaviorThese tools can be thought of as a group of tools These tools can be thought of as a group of tools

used to help shape children’s behaviors and used to help shape children’s behaviors and their personalitiestheir personalities

Tools this powerful are often hard to use Tools this powerful are often hard to use because they take a great amount of practicebecause they take a great amount of practice

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When children have self-control they When children have self-control they knowknow

1.1. What to doWhat to do2.2. When to do itWhen to do it3.3. Can behave appropriately even Can behave appropriately even

when caregiver is not aroundwhen caregiver is not around Self-control helps childrenSelf-control helps children

feel safefeel safe feel confidentfeel confident be able to think for themselvesbe able to think for themselves

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Negative tools like spanking, hitting, yelling or making fun of children tend to make them timid and withdrawn or rebellious and mean lead children to feel bad about themselves and to

develop fewer feelings of self-control lead children to question parents’ love and discount the

times they really do want to talk, hold, or spend time with them

Constant questioning and discounting of children leads to discouragement, and a discouraged child is more likely to misbehave

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1.1. CuriosityCuriosity2.2. IllnessIllness3.3. BoredomBoredom4.4. Angry feelingsAngry feelings5.5. Need for attention or loveNeed for attention or love6.6. Low self-esteemLow self-esteem7.7. AnxietyAnxiety

results from caregivers who are not familiar with results from caregivers who are not familiar with ages and stages of children’s growth and ages and stages of children’s growth and developmentdevelopment

8.8. ConfusionConfusion results if caregivers are not familiar with family results if caregivers are not familiar with family

and household rulesand household rules

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Understanding child Understanding child development helps a parent development helps a parent or caregiver to guide or caregiver to guide behaviorbehavior

Physical, emotional, social, Physical, emotional, social, and intellectual and intellectual development influence development influence guidance techniques that a guidance techniques that a caregiver or parent can usecaregiver or parent can use

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1.1. InfantsInfants What to expect:What to expect:

cry when they need somethingcry when they need something want their needs met by their caregiverswant their needs met by their caregivers explore their bodiesexplore their bodies curious about everythingcurious about everything sleep less as they grow oldersleep less as they grow older learn by using their senseslearn by using their senses play with their food and eat with their fingersplay with their food and eat with their fingers

When babies cry they need somethingWhen babies cry they need something If ignored or punished each time they cry, needs If ignored or punished each time they cry, needs

are not met. Therefore they learn to mistrust their are not met. Therefore they learn to mistrust their caregivers and think of their world as an unsafe caregivers and think of their world as an unsafe place.place.

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Diverting attention

babies have short attention spans, so their interests are easily shifted from item to item

an example of a diversion tactic is to catch a child’s interest with a favorite toy if he or she is upset about something else

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2.2. ToddlersToddlers What to expect:What to expect:

say “no” to be independent and in controlsay “no” to be independent and in control enjoy “messy” activitiesenjoy “messy” activities curious about everything, want to explorecurious about everything, want to explore begin walking and talkingbegin walking and talking possessive of belongings, saying “my” or “mine”possessive of belongings, saying “my” or “mine” take their time eating, dressing and picking up toystake their time eating, dressing and picking up toys restless; short attention-spansrestless; short attention-spans cry or scream when asked to take turns or sharecry or scream when asked to take turns or share temper tantrumstemper tantrums

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Set limitsSet limits make rules in order to manage children’s make rules in order to manage children’s

misbehaviormisbehavior a rule or limit should be clear enough so children a rule or limit should be clear enough so children

understand what part of their conduct is misbehavior understand what part of their conduct is misbehavior and how they can change it into acceptable behaviorand how they can change it into acceptable behavior

Offer choicesOffer choices allowing toddlers to choose between two activities allowing toddlers to choose between two activities

that are acceptable may be more effective when they that are acceptable may be more effective when they refuse to behave by the rulesrefuse to behave by the rules

allows them to be in controlallows them to be in control

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3.3. PreschoolersPreschoolers What to expect:What to expect:

o many questionsmany questionso need physical activityneed physical activityo interested in same age friendsinterested in same age friendso exaggerate or make up storiesexaggerate or make up storieso bossy bossy o say “no” when asked to help say “no” when asked to help

clean upclean up

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RedirectionRedirection suggest acceptable behaviors to replace misbehaviorssuggest acceptable behaviors to replace misbehaviors turn a problem activity or action into an acceptable oneturn a problem activity or action into an acceptable one

Time-outTime-out remove child from activity for a specific period of time remove child from activity for a specific period of time

until they calm down, think about what they did, and until they calm down, think about what they did, and realize they will not be allowed to misbehaverealize they will not be allowed to misbehave

a set time in a safe place away from other children, a set time in a safe place away from other children, activities and distractionsactivities and distractions

be sure to talk to children about how time-out worksbe sure to talk to children about how time-out works

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4.4. Early school-age childrenEarly school-age children What to expect:What to expect:

o want to please adults, teachers and friendswant to please adults, teachers and friendso flip-flop back and forth – sometimes seeming grown-up, flip-flop back and forth – sometimes seeming grown-up,

sometimes babyish, acting differently at home than at sometimes babyish, acting differently at home than at schoolschool

o forgetful, messy, creative, and spontaneousforgetful, messy, creative, and spontaneouso enjoy playing more than helpingenjoy playing more than helpingo interested in “right” or “wrong”interested in “right” or “wrong”o misbehavior often happens when children are feeling misbehavior often happens when children are feeling

ignored, mistreated, or neglectedignored, mistreated, or neglectedo misbehave to get attention- even if the attention is misbehave to get attention- even if the attention is

negativenegative

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Threes types of behavior reinforcementThrees types of behavior reinforcement1.1. Positive: pay attention when children do what you Positive: pay attention when children do what you

wantwant praise child when you approve of their actionspraise child when you approve of their actions spend time with child while they do what you wantspend time with child while they do what you want

2.2. Negative: pay attention to children when they Negative: pay attention to children when they misbehave and do what you do not wantmisbehave and do what you do not want using this method unintentionally teaches children to using this method unintentionally teaches children to

misbehave in order to get attentionmisbehave in order to get attention3.3. Ignore: pay Ignore: pay nono attention to misbehavior and attempts attention to misbehavior and attempts

to be noticedto be noticed do not use this method if child is in dangerdo not use this method if child is in danger

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Direct Methods of GuidanceDirect Methods of Guidance Talk to child at eye level and use simple, Talk to child at eye level and use simple,

positive directionspositive directions Use “do’s” instead of “don’ts”Use “do’s” instead of “don’ts” Prevent child from hurting self or othersPrevent child from hurting self or others Assist child in dealing with conflictsAssist child in dealing with conflicts Give child a choice whenever possibleGive child a choice whenever possible Demonstrate or model desired behaviorDemonstrate or model desired behavior Touch, guide, or lead child by the hand for Touch, guide, or lead child by the hand for

further directionfurther direction Encourage child with positive feedbackEncourage child with positive feedback

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Indirect methods of guidanceIndirect methods of guidance Provide an environment with appropriate Provide an environment with appropriate

activities to promote acceptable behavioractivities to promote acceptable behavior Encourage independence by providing accessible Encourage independence by providing accessible

behaviorbehavior Arrange space of cues regarding appropriate Arrange space of cues regarding appropriate

behaviorbehavior Provide a regular routine; schedule activities Provide a regular routine; schedule activities

according to child’s needsaccording to child’s needs Provide appropriate adult supervisionProvide appropriate adult supervision

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Tell children what they can do instead of Tell children what they can do instead of what they can’t dowhat they can’t doDon’tDon’t

““Don’t drop the egg”Don’t drop the egg”DoDo

““Carry the eggs in both hands, like this…”Carry the eggs in both hands, like this…”Don’tDon’t

““Don’t drag your jacket in the mud”Don’t drag your jacket in the mud”DoDo

““Tie your jacket around your waist, like this…”Tie your jacket around your waist, like this…”

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If adults use many negative If adults use many negative words such as no, don’t, stop words such as no, don’t, stop it, cut it out, or shut up, it, cut it out, or shut up, children may decide to tune the children may decide to tune the parent or caregiver outparent or caregiver out

Too many “don’ts” also cause Too many “don’ts” also cause negativism in childrennegativism in children

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Caregivers sometimes damage Caregivers sometimes damage children’s self-esteemchildren’s self-esteem

SituationSituation four-year-old Juan spills the milk four-year-old Juan spills the milk

he was carrying to the tablehe was carrying to the table destructive response: “Can’t you destructive response: “Can’t you

do anything right?”do anything right?” better response: better response: “That’s a “That’s a

hard job; we’ll wipe it up and hard job; we’ll wipe it up and you can try again”you can try again”

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SituationSituation three-year-old Hannah runs away from you in the three-year-old Hannah runs away from you in the

storestore destructive response: “What’s the matter with you? destructive response: “What’s the matter with you?

You’re acting like a baby; I thought you were a You’re acting like a baby; I thought you were a big girl”big girl”

better response: “I need your help better response: “I need your help pushing the cart”pushing the cart”

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Offer appropriate choices to avoid problem Offer appropriate choices to avoid problem situationssituations

SituationSituation you are having dinner in a restaurant and have a you are having dinner in a restaurant and have a

limited supply of moneylimited supply of money likely to lead to trouble: “What would you like to likely to lead to trouble: “What would you like to

order?”order?” instead, try: “You may order the chicken dinner instead, try: “You may order the chicken dinner

or the spaghetti plate”or the spaghetti plate”

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Try to avoid power struggles between Try to avoid power struggles between adults and childrenadults and children

BehaviorBehaviorsix-year-old Jermain comes home from six-year-old Jermain comes home from

school each day and makes a beeline school each day and makes a beeline for the cookie jar, washing down a for the cookie jar, washing down a handful of cookies with two bottles of handful of cookies with two bottles of cola from the refrigeratorcola from the refrigerator

Environmental changeEnvironmental changestock the cookie jar with graham stock the cookie jar with graham

crackers and the refrigerator with fruit crackers and the refrigerator with fruit juice, yogurt, and fruitjuice, yogurt, and fruit

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Working Working withwith children instead of children instead of againstagainst them them helps when meeting the needs of children as helps when meeting the needs of children as

well as caregiverswell as caregivers

SituationSituationeleven-month-old Savannah turns her head away eleven-month-old Savannah turns her head away

when offered food on a spoon, if the food is when offered food on a spoon, if the food is placed on the tray she dives in with both hands placed on the tray she dives in with both hands and eats with obvious enjoymentand eats with obvious enjoyment

Compromise-SolutionCompromise-Solutionput newspaper on the floor, find a big bib and put newspaper on the floor, find a big bib and

stand by with a washcloth, let the child feed herselfstand by with a washcloth, let the child feed herself

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Explain the rules and the consequences for breaking Explain the rules and the consequences for breaking themthem

When children do not follow the rules, follow through When children do not follow the rules, follow through with consequenceswith consequencesSituationSituation

five-year-old Tong is having a screaming tantrum five-year-old Tong is having a screaming tantrum because he cannot go out to play, he has been sick and because he cannot go out to play, he has been sick and the weather is cold and windythe weather is cold and windy

Setting/Enforcing LimitsSetting/Enforcing Limitstell him you know that he is very mad and disappointed tell him you know that he is very mad and disappointed

but he can’t go outside today because the wind might but he can’t go outside today because the wind might make his head hurt again, suggest a card gamemake his head hurt again, suggest a card game

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Disciplining and guiding children is not Disciplining and guiding children is not easyeasy

All children misbehave or argue some of All children misbehave or argue some of the timethe time

You can respond quickly when children You can respond quickly when children need guidance if you understand the need guidance if you understand the reasons for their behavior and know your reasons for their behavior and know your optionsoptions

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1.1. What is the purpose of guidance and What is the purpose of guidance and discipline?discipline?

2.2. List six tools that a caregiver can use to List six tools that a caregiver can use to guide and discipline childrenguide and discipline children

3.3. Why do children misbehave?Why do children misbehave?

4.4. What guidance technique should you use What guidance technique should you use with infants?with infants?

QUIZ

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5.5. Toddlers are characteristically very _______ Toddlers are characteristically very _______ of their belongings and often say “mine”of their belongings and often say “mine”

6.6. The guidance and discipline techniques to The guidance and discipline techniques to use with toddlers are:use with toddlers are:

a)a) do nothingdo nothingb)b) set limitsset limitsc)c) offer choicesoffer choicesd)d) both B and Cboth B and C

QUIZ

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7.7. Give an example of using redirection with a Give an example of using redirection with a preschooler.preschooler.

8.8. Early school age children respond well to Early school age children respond well to behavior that is___________.behavior that is___________.

9.9. An indirect method of guidance is:An indirect method of guidance is:

10.10. What happens to children if you use too many What happens to children if you use too many “don’ts”?“don’ts”?

QUIZ

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New Mexico State University. “Guiding Young Children”. 2002.http://www.cahe.nmsu.edu/pubs/_f/f-108.html

National Network for Child Care . “Guidance and Discipline- A Developmental Approach”. 2002.http://www.nncc.org?Guidance/guide.dev.apprch.html

The Curriculum Center for Family and Consumer SciencesTexas Tech University. 2002. www.hs.ttu.edu/ccfcs

Additional Websites:www.kidsource.comwww.keepkidshealthy.comwww.naeyc.orgwww.cps.ca

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