WRITING/CONSTRUCTED REPONSE ANCHOR PAPER EXEMPLARS GRADE 5 OPINION
GRADE 5 OPINIONsde.ok.gov/sde/sites/ok.gov.sde/files/documents/files/Grade 5 Opinio… · assist people with day-to-day activities while others are members of the military or a police
WRITING/CONSTRUCTED REPONSE ANCHOR PAPER EXEMPLARS
GRADE 5 OPINION
Grade 5 WRITING
GO ON
Animal Helpers
1 Animals can be trained to assist humans with everyday needs and be valuable companions. Even animals you might not expect can be trained to assist humans.
2 One example is the miniature horse. Miniature horses usually live to be thirty years old, much longer than an assistance dog. This is important because owners often bond with their helper animals. Over time, the helper animal becomes a close companion. These horses are strong enough to allow their human companions to lean on them for physical support. Miniature horses are also easy to train and are very gentle. As an added bonus, they also have excellent eyesight.
3 Ferrets can also help people with disabilities. They are especially helpful to people who have seizures. Seizures happen when the brain stops working correctly. People lose the ability to think or even use their muscles when they have seizures. This can be dangerous because the person can get hurt while his or her body is out of control. Some seizures can even cause damage to the brain. For reasons scientists don’t understand, some ferrets can sense when a person is going to have a seizure. These ferrets give their owners warning by trying to get their attention. Some seizure patients have said their
Writing Topic:
Animals can be entertaining, caring, and helpful. Some animals assist people with day-to-day activities while others are members of the military or a police force. After reading these passages, write an opinion about how you think animals could be useful in a community, a school, or a place of work. Be sure to state your opinion and support it using information presented in both passages.
Before you begin planning and writing your opinion, read the two passages
1. “Animal Helpers”2. “Military and Police Force Animals”
4Page 2
sharon_saldana
Rectangle
sharon_saldana
Rectangle
sharon_saldana
Rectangle
sharon_saldana
Rectangle
Grade 5 WRITING
GO ON
ferrets look unhappy when trying to give this warning. The owner can then take medicine so the seizure doesn’t happen. If taking medicine is not an option, the owner can get to a safe place before the seizure happens.
4 Some people have problems with movement. Some can’t use their hands properly. Others can’t walk from place to place. These people can also get help from animals. Monkeys are sometimes used for this purpose. There are many different monkey species, but the capuchin is the most common helper animal. The capuchin monkey can do many things for its owner. For example, it can open doors and cabinets. A capuchin monkey may carry things or bring items to its owner.
5 Dogs are the most common type of service animal. They can be trained to perform certain tasks to help people with disabilities. Dogs can learn to pick up dropped items and to open and close doors. They can turn on and off lights and carry and retrieve objects. They can be used as guide dogs for people with sight problems. They can even be trained to listen for a door bell or a fire alarm and warn their owners who have difficulty with their hearing.
6 Service animals can help people live a better life, and humans are grateful for their help. However, these animals are just serving the purpose they were meant to serve and nothing more.
5Page 3
sharon_saldana
Rectangle
sharon_saldana
Rectangle
sharon_saldana
Rectangle
sharon_saldana
Rectangle
Grade 5 WRITING
GO ON
Military and Police Force Animals
1 Animals have been part of the military for hundreds of years. Dogs and horses have served as animal soldiers in times of war. They have also been trained to play an important role on a police force.
Four-Legged Fighters 2 Military working dogs have also completed missions under terrible
conditions. One of these brave dogs was Buster. Buster served as a Messenger War Dog during World War II. Buster carried messages through heavy machine gun fire during a battle on Morotai Island. Buster carried messages telling troops to hold their position. The soldiers got the extra help they needed, and Buster’s actions saved seventeen men. His bravery also helped the U.S. defeat the Japanese in that battle.
3 Military working dogs are still used today. A military working dog was a fundamental part of raiding Osama Bin Laden’s hideout in 2011. In 2012, the U.S. Congress passed two bills to help the treatment of these dogs once their work overseas is completed. In the past, the military classified military working dogs as equipment, and they were left behind once a mission was complete. These new bills reclassify the dogs as “canine members of the Armed Forces,” which means the dogs will be brought home and adopted by new families as part of their “retirement” from the military.
4 Horses have also been used by the military during wars. Reckless was a horse so heroic during the Korean War in the 1950s that she was promoted to Sergeant by the U.S. Marines. She was trained to step over communication lines and to get down when there was incoming fire. She also learned to ignore the sounds of battle. After just a couple of trips, she learned the routes to deliver supplies to the troops on her own. In one day, Reckless made 51 trips to carry supplies and ammunition to soldiers on the front lines. She became the marines’ mascot and was allowed to roam freely through the camp. She even was allowed to come inside the soldiers’ tents to sleep on cold nights. After the war ended, Reckless was awarded two Purple Hearts and a Marine Corps Good Conduct Medal.
6Page 4
sharon_saldana
Rectangle
sharon_saldana
Rectangle
sharon_saldana
Rectangle
sharon_saldana
Rectangle
Grade 5 WRITING
GO ON
Team Players
5 Dogs and horses also have been trained to work with law enforcement. Police dogs are often called K-9s, and the most common breed used is the German Shepherd. These dogs have a keen sense of smell. They can be trained to sniff out drugs and explosive materials. They are also used to search and find missing people or objects. They protect police officers and often help with crowd control. They also make good guard dogs. Police who patrol on horseback are called the mounted police. These horses are trained to keep order during major events. They learn to move through crowds and in heavy traffic and learn not to react to loud noises. Some are used for park patrol through wooded areas. Since horses can travel where vehicles cannot, they are used for search missions through rugged areas.
6 Over the years, working dogs and horses have played an important role in the military and on police forces. They have even helped save many human lives. These animals were able to get the job done during difficult times. They have been honored as important members of our military and police forces.
7Page 5
sharon_saldana
Rectangle
sharon_saldana
Rectangle
sharon_saldana
Rectangle
sharon_saldana
Rectangle
WRITING/CONSTRUCTED REPONSE RUBRIC
Page 6
Grade 5 Writing RubricEach piece of student writing is given five analytic scores that focus on specific writing skills. These ratings range from 4 (the highest score) to 1 (the lowest score). Taken together, these scores provide a profile of the specific strengths and weaknesses of a student’s writing. The following are the actual scoring rubrics used to assign the five analytic scores.
*OAS objectives are annotated for each trait. Where no specific objective is listed (i.e. 5.3.W), thewhole strand is intended.
Score Ideas and Development—30%
4 • The content is well suited for the audience, task/purpose, and mode (5.3.W)• The focus is clear and maintained (5.2.W.1)• Ideas are fully developed and incorporate details, examples, reasons, facts, or evidence (5.3.W)• The writing expresses a clear, consistent perspective throughout the composition (5.2.W.1)
3 • The content is adequate for the audience, task/purpose, and mode• The focus is evident but may lack clarity• Ideas are developed using some details, examples, reasons, and/or evidence• The writing sustains the perspective throughout most of the composition
2 • The content is inconsistent with the audience, task/purpose, and mode• The focus may be unclear or leave the reader with questions and making inferences• Ideas are minimally developed with few details• May simply be a list of ideas• The writing has difficulty expressing or maintaining a perspective
1 • The content is irrelevant to the audience, task/purpose, and mode• The focus may be confusing or missing• Ideas lack development or may be repetitive• The writing lacks perspective
Score Organization, Unity, and Coherence—25%
4 • Introduction engages the reader (5.3.W)• Coherent and consistent focus (5.2.W.1, 5.2.W.4)• Logical and appropriate sequencing balanced with smooth, effective transitions (5.4.W.2, 5.5.W.4)• Order and structure are strong and move the reader through the text (5.3.W.2, 5.3.W)• Conclusion is appropriate and effective (5.3.W)
3 • Evident introduction• Adequate focus; stays on topic with little digression• Adequate sequencing using limited but effective transitions• Order and structure are present• Conclusion is appropriate
2 • May lack clear organizational structure• Weak evidence of unity• Little or limited sequencing and/or transitions• Details may be randomly placed• Conclusion may be inappropriate or ineffective
1 • Lacks logical direction• No evidence of organizational structure
Page 7
Score Word Choice—15%
4 • Appropriate word choice that conveys the correct meaning and appeals to the audience in aninteresting, precise, and natural way (5.4.W.1-2)
• The writing may be characterized by, but not limited to (5.4.W.2, 5.5.W.3-5), – Lively verbs – Vivid nouns – Imaginative adjectives – Figurative language – Dialogue
• No vague, overused, repetitive language is used (a lot, greatly, very, really)(5.4.W)• Effective words that evoke strong images and descriptive language (5.4.W)• Communicates by using academic and/or domain-appropriate words (5.4.W)
3 • Words generally convey the intended message• The writing includes a variety of words that are appropriate but do not necessarily energize the writing• The writing may be characterized by
– Some use of lively verbs, vivid nouns, and imaginative adjectives – Attempts at figurative language and/or dialogue – Few vague, overused, and repetitive words
2 • Word choice lacks precision and variety or may be inappropriate to the audience and purpose• May be ineffective, simplistic, and/or vague• Relies on overused or vague language (a lot, great, very, really)• Few attempts at figurative language and/or dialogue• Word choice is unimaginative and colorless with images that are unclear or absent
1 • Word choice indicates an extremely limited or inaccurate vocabulary• No attempts at figurative language and/or dialogue• General, vague words that fail to communicate meaning• Text may be too short to demonstrate variety
• Writing has few or no run-on or fragment errors (5.5.W.2)• Writing has a rich variety of sentence structure, types, and lengths (5.5.W.2)• Ideas are organized into paragraphs that blend into larger text (5.2.W.3)• Writing shows evidence of appropriate paragraphing (5.2.W.3)
3 • Writing adequately demonstrates appropriate sentence structure• Writing may contain a small number of run-on or fragment errors that do not interfere with fluency• Writing has adequate variety of sentence structure• Ideas are organized into paragraphs
2 • Writing demonstrates lack of control in sentence structure• Writing contains errors such as run-ons and fragments that interfere with fluency• Writing has limited variety of sentence structure• Writing may show little or no attempt at paragraphing
1 • Writing demonstrates inappropriate sentence structure• Writing contains many errors in structure (run-ons, fragments)• Writing has no variety in structure• Writing displays no attempt at paragraphing• Text may be too short to demonstrate use of sentences or paragraphs
Page 9
Score Grammar, Usage, and Mechanics—15%4 • The writing demonstrates appropriate use of correct (5.5.W.1)
– Spelling – Punctuation – Capitalization – Grammar – Usage/Mechanics (e.g. correct usage of homonyms, correct usage of subjects and indirectobjects, correct use of pronouns)
• Errors are minor and do not affect readability
3 • The writing demonstrates adequate use of correct – Spelling – Punctuation – Capitalization – Grammar – Usage
• Errors are noticeable but do not significantly affect readability
2 • The writing demonstrates limited use of correct – Spelling – Punctuation – Capitalization – Grammar – Usage
• Errors are distracting and may interfere with readability
1 • The writing demonstrates minimal use of correct – Spelling – Punctuation – Capitalization – Grammar – Usage
• Errors are numerous and severely impede readability
Composite Score and Performance Level A student’s composite score on the Writing section of the ELA assessment, in part, is derived by assigning various weights to the five analytic traits. The averaged analytic score for each category is multiplied by the appropriate weight (percentage) and summed.
Page 10
WRITING/CONSTRUCTED REPONSE ANCHOR PAPER EXEMPLARS
IDEAS & DEVELOPMENT
Page 11
Page 12
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
ID A-1a
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
sharon_saldana
Text Box
sharon_saldana
Text Box
sharon_saldana
Text Box
sharon_saldana
Text Box
Page 13
ssuper
Text Box
ID S.P. 1- > Content is inappropriate for purpose - does not address how animals are useful in a community, school or a place of work >Response is not developed (gives an opinion: "I think that animals would be good for helping" but limits development to personal family >No evidence is elicited from text
ssuper
Text Box
IID A-1b
Page 14
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
ID S.P. 1 >Response is not developed (doesn't explain how a dog helps if somebody is hurt) >No evidence is elicited from the text ( "get our ball" is not text-based) >Writer has little perspective Response is too short to show development of ideas.
ssuper
Text Box
ID A-2
Page 15
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
ID A-3
ssuper
Text Box
ID S.P. 1+ >Response is not developed (doesn't develop which animals or how they would help) >Little evidence is elicited from prompt -refers to sight problems, movement problems >Writer has little perspective Response is too short to show development of ideas.
Page 16
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
ID A-4a
Page 17
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
ID A-4b
Page 18
ssuper
Text Box
ID A-4c
ssuper
Text Box
ID S.P. 2- >Content is limited for purpose >Opinion addresses prompt using minimal text-based facts ( have great eyesight; help find drugs; sent messages; Reckless) from one passage Only refers to one passage; no reference to "Animal Helpers"
Page 19
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
ID A-5a
Page 20
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
ID A-5b
ssuper
Text Box
ID S.P. 2 > Addresses prompt using minimal text-based facts and examples from both passages (search for drugs, ferrets help with seizures) but doesn't develop how people with seeing or hearing problems are helped; how monkeys give warnings >Lst without development
Page 21
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
ID A-6a
Page 22
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
ID A-6b
Page 23
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
ID A-6c
ssuper
Text Box
ID S.P. 2+ >Addresses prompt using minimal text-based facts and examples. Examples are quotes that simply restate opinions (ex: dogs assist people attempts development by citing "Animals can be trained to assist humans with everyday needs"; may pick-up items by citing "Dogs can learn to pickup dropped items and to close doors.". Doesn't give example of conditions or explain what Buster did; just cites " Military working dogs have completed missions under terrible conditions." Only one example, writer's second reason has any development(open and close doors, turn on and off lights).
Page 24
Sharon_Saldana
Rectangle
Sharon_Saldana
Text Box
ID A-7a
Page 25
Sharon_Saldana
Text Box
ID A-7b
Page 26
Sharon_Saldana
Text Box
ID A-7c
Sharon_Saldana
Text Box
ID Score Point 3- The student responds to the prompt and gives three reasons as support, but development is minimal and general in nature. The final main body paragraph offers no text-based support.
Page 27
Sharon_Saldana
Text Box
ID A-8a
Sharon_Saldana
Rectangle
Page 28
Sharon_Saldana
Text Box
ID - Score Pt. 3 The student addresses the prompt and has developed three ways that animals can be helpful: military use; police force; everyday in the community for disabled individuals. Evidence is provided from both passages to support the writer's ideas.
Sharon_Saldana
Text Box
ID A-8b
Page 29
Sharon_Saldana
Rectangle
Sharon_Saldana
Text Box
ID A-9a
Page 30
Sharon_Saldana
Text Box
ID A-9b
Sharon_Saldana
Text Box
ID - Score Point 3+ The response addresses the prompt and provides ample detailed support as evidence: in the community, helping both blind and deaf individuals; military and police forces, finding missing, lost and hidden people.
Page 31
ssuper
Rectangle
Page 32
Page 33
ssuper
Text Box
ID S. P. 4- > Content is appropriate for audience and purpose -gives an opinion and addresses how animals are useful in the community, at school, and a place of work (the army) >Uses relevant text-based examples (the blind, find missing persons, carry messages, find missing persons, ferrets detecting seizures >Summarizes information >Expresses an insightful perspective (give children something to think about, being a friend and giving confidence)
Page 34
Page 35
Page 36
ssuper
Text Box
ID S.P. 4 >Content is appropriate for audience and purpose- gives an opinion and addresses how animals are useful in the community and work place >Uses relevant text-based facts and examples (K-9s, miniature horses, seizures) >Summarizes information > Expresses an insightful perspective ( help when an intruder is in the building, keep elderly and children safe, also warn other employees, world might not be what it is today)
Page 37
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
sharon_saldana
Text Box
Page 38
ssuper
Rectangle
sharon_saldana
Text Box
Page 39
ssuper
Rectangle
Page 40
ssuper
Rectangle
Page 41
ssuper
Rectangle
Page 42
ssuper
Text Box
ID S.P. 4+ >Content is appropriate for audience and purpose >Opinion addresses prompt using relevant text-based facts and examples ( open door, physical support, ferrets, sniff missing objects, German Shepherds) > Summarizes information >Expresses insightful perspective (connects personal experience and outside knowledge to text-based facts -Ms. Brown and Ms. Aisha, pigeons, camels, Mr. Peabody and Sherman, carnivals >Develops information ( ex:explains how dogs sniff; how animals are entertaining
WRITING/CONSTRUCTED REPONSE ANCHOR PAPER EXEMPLARS
ORGANIZATION, UNITY & COHERENCE
Page 43
Page 44
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
OUC A-1
ssuper
Text Box
OUC S.P. 1- >Lacks logical direction >No evidence of organizational structure Insufficient work to determine writer's ability.
Page 45
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
OUC A-2
ssuper
Text Box
OUC S.P. 1 >Lacks logical direction >No evidence of organizational structure Insufficient work to determine writer's abilities.
sharon_saldana
Text Box
Page 46
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
OUC A-3a
Page 47
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
OUC A-3b
Page 48
ssuper
Text Box
OUC A- 3c
ssuper
Text Box
OUC S.P. 1+ >Lacks logical direction (facts presented in random order) >No evidence of organizational structure (no beginning, no ending)
Page 49
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
OUC A-4a
Page 50
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
OUC A-4b
ssuper
Text Box
OUC S.P. 2- >Lacks an introduction and a conclusion >Reasons and information are ordered in random progression >Transitions are attempted and limited (first, secondly, third) and do not link ideas (jumps from miniature horsed to ferrets)
Page 51
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
OUC A-5a
Page 52
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
OUC A-5b
ssuper
Text Box
OUC S.P. 2 >No clear conclusion( attempted a conclusion but then added sentence about Buster) >Transitions are limited (or and so)
Page 53
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
OUC A-6a
Page 54
ssuper
Text Box
OUC A-6b
ssuper
Text Box
OUC S.P. 2+ >Introduction does not present a clear topic or opinion (one is implied) >Lacks transitions between and within paragraphs but each paragraph is about one animal >Conclusion is incomplete (one sentence)
ssuper
Rectangle
Page 55
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
OUC A-7a
Page 56
ssuper
Text Box
OUC S.P. 3- >Introduction presents a topic and an opinion; states three ways dogs are useful and each paragraph explains a way >Transitions link reasons; transitions are limited ("In the police force", "In the military", "too") >Conclusion is incomplete
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
Page 57
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
OUC A-8a
ssuper
Rectangle
Page 58
ssuper
Text Box
OUC A-8b
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
OUC S.P. 3 >Introduction presents a topic >States an opinion ("horses are good to assist people) >Reasons and information that support the purpose are ordered by animal type >Uses formulaic transitions (first, second, third, in conclusion) between paragraphs; uses the same transition (also ) within paragraphs >Conclusion is brief and attempts to support opinion
Page 59
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
OUC A-9a
ssuper
Rectangle
Page 60
ssuper
Text Box
OUC A-9b
ssuper
Rectangle
Page 61
ssuper
Text Box
OUC A-9c
ssuper
Text Box
OUC S.P. 3+ >Introduction presents a topic >Opinion is present ("I think all animals are useful, because they help with humans everyday needs" >Uses transitions between and within paragraphs (One example, even though, Another example, But, Third, Then, Finally)to support and link reasons >Has a introductory and concluding sentence in each paragraph >Has a conclusion
ssuper
Rectangle
Page 62
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
OUC A-10a
Page 63
ssuper
Text Box
OUC A-10b
Page 64
ssuper
Text Box
OUC A-10c
ssuper
Text Box
OUC S.P. 4 >Introduction presents a clear topic("what a hospital is like and why you need an animal to calm you... kind of animal" and states an opinion ("I would have liked to have a dog to calm me down). >Sustained focus on content and structure; doesn't digress from topic >Reasons and information that support reader's purpose are logically ordered (what a hospital is like; what kind of animal; how to train the animal) >Transitions between ideas are coherent and link reasons ("Now I know") Last sentence of each paragraph transitions to next paragraph ("German shepherds easy to train to be a warm-hearted animal." to "What should an animal be trained to do?") and does not use formulaic transitions ( first, second, third, In conclusion) Conclusion supports the opinion.
WRITING/CONSTRUCTED REPONSE ANCHOR PAPER EXEMPLARS
WORD CHOICE
Page 65
Page 66
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
WC A-1
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
WC S.P. 1- >Figurative language, word relationships and nuances in word meaning are not evident. >Concrete words and phrases, sensory details and domain- specific words are lacking. Insufficient work to determine writer's ability
Page 67
ssuper
Text Box
WC A-2
ssuper
Text Box
WC S.P. 1 >Figurative language, word relationships, and nuances are not evident. >Concrete words and phrases, sensory details, and domain-specific words are lacking. Insufficient work to determine writer's ability.
ssuper
Rectangle
Page 68
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
WC A-3
ssuper
Text Box
WC S.P. 1+ >Figurative language, word relationships, and nuances in word meaning are not evident >Concrete words and phrases, sensory details are lacking Insufficient work to determine writer's ability
Page 69
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
WC A-4a
ssuper
Rectangle
Page 70
ssuper
Text Box
WC A-4b
ssuper
Text Box
WC S.P. 2- >Concrete words and phrases. sensory details, and domain-specific vocabulary are limited. >Uses ""some types of animals" repeatedly Paper is longer than 1 point papers
Page 71
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
WC A-5a
Page 72
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
WC S.P. 2 >Word choice is limited > Repeats words "protect", "stuff" , "helpful" "useful" "useful" throughout >Use of concrete words from text is limited ( bombings, drugs) Use of non specific words such as "stuff", " it's cool", "nice" "things" repeatedly may bring word choice scores down to score point 2 depending on length of paper and complexity of other words.
ssuper
Text Box
WC A-5b
Page 73
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
WC A-6a
Page 74
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
WC S.P. 2+ >Repeated use of words or phrases ( "useful"," help or save") >Uses non-specific words (stuff) in a short paper > Uses some text-specific words (companion, unhappy face, brain disabilities)
ssuper
Text Box
WC A-6b
Page 75
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
WC A-7a
Page 76
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
WC S.P. 3- >Uses concrete phrases and domain-specific words (companions, routes, drugs, explosives, military) and some nuances ("dogs are better alarm clocks") >Uses ordinary words
ssuper
Text Box
WC A-7b
Page 77
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
WC A-8a
Page 78
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
WC S.P. 3 >Uses mostly ordinary, generic words but also some higher level vocabulary (scout, detect, goof around) >Uses concrete, domain -specific words (drugs, explosives) > Attempts figurative language (eyes like cameras)
ssuper
Text Box
WC A-8b
Page 79
ssuper
Text Box
WC A-9a
sharon_saldana
Text Box
sharon_saldana
Text Box
sharon_saldana
Text Box
sharon_saldana
Text Box
sharon_saldana
Text Box
sharon_saldana
Text Box
Page 80
ssuper
Text Box
WC A-9b
sharon_saldana
Text Box
sharon_saldana
Text Box
sharon_saldana
Text Box
sharon_saldana
Text Box
sharon_saldana
Text Box
sharon_saldana
Text Box
sharon_saldana
Text Box
sharon_saldana
Text Box
sharon_saldana
Text Box
sharon_saldana
Text Box
sharon_saldana
Text Box
sharon_saldana
Text Box
sharon_saldana
Text Box
Page 81
ssuper
Text Box
WC S.P. 3+ >Uses variety of descriptive words and phrases (fury friends, quickly ran, came immediately, was relieved, heroically volunteered, all thanks, persuade, if it wasn't for Bently) >Uses concrete worda and phrases and domain-specific vocabulary
ssuper
Text Box
WC A-9c
sharon_saldana
Text Box
sharon_saldana
Text Box
sharon_saldana
Text Box
Page 82
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
WC A-10a
Page 83
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
WC A-10b
Page 84
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
WC S.P. 4- > Uses phrases and words effectively to convey ideas (A really fun zoo where you learn your A-B-Cs of course, therapy, help students clear their minds, focus on the work ahead, sooth teachers, after a stressful day, being introduced reduce the risk, contracting asthma, intruder) throughout the paper > Uses concrete words and phrase, and domain-specific vocabulary effectively.
ssuper
Text Box
WC A-10c
sharon_saldana
Text Box
WRITING/CONSTRUCTED REPONSE ANCHOR PAPER EXEMPLARS SENTENCES & PARAGRAPHS
Page 85
Page 86
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
SP A-1
ssuper
Text Box
SP Score Point 1- >No clear sentence structure (one long run-on). Insufficient work to determine writer's abilities.
Page 87
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
SP A-2a
Page 88
ssuper
Text Box
SP A-2b
ssuper
Text Box
SP Score Point 1 >No clear sentence structure. >Has one long run-on. >No attempt at paragraphing.
ssuper
Rectangle
Page 89
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
SP A-3
ssuper
Text Box
SP Score Point 1+ Has two complete sentences but has insufficient work to determine writer's abilities.
Page 90
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
SP A- 4a
Page 91
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
SP Score Point 2- >Limited variety of sentence structure, type and length (Four of eight student sentences begin with "If") >Third sentence is one long run-on. >NO attempt at paragraphing.
ssuper
Text Box
SP A-4b
Page 92
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
SP A-5a
Page 93
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
SP A-5b
Page 94
ssuper
Text Box
SP A-5c
ssuper
Text Box
SP Score Point 2 >Limited variety of sentence structure, type and length. Many sentence begin with "If". >Several fragments ( "So having an animal.. be great"," If your working place has expensive things like computers and tablets.", "But if there is... computers and tablets.", "If people have animals in their community like a farm.", "And if a coyote ..small animal.", "So having animals... easier for people."). Has run-on (A horse can start...is wrong.") Starting sentences with 'And and "But" results in creating fragments. Generally, starting sentences with "So" and "Like" also results in fragments.
Page 95
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
SP A-6a
Page 96
ssuper
Text Box
SP A- 6b
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
SP Score Point 2+ >Limited variety of sentence structure, type and length. Most sentences are simple and short (begin with the noun and verb and do not have clauses ) except for two questions. > Has a fragment ("To tell them to hold there fire.") The writer has control of sentence structure, but lacks variety.
Page 97
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
SP A-7a
Page 98
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
SP A- 7b
ssuper
Text Box
SP Score Point 3- >Variety of sentence structure, type and length. Has compound and complex sentences ( ex: "They can be in the military or be a service animal for old or disabled people." "Dogs can fetch items for their owners, open doors, and can guide blinded people." )' >Few fragments or run-ons ("Military working animals are beond helpful they can save lives...", "Like a dog, miniature horse or monkey.") Evidence of paragraphing.
Page 99
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
SP A-8a
Page 100
ssuper
Text Box
SP A-8b
ssuper
Text Box
SP Score Point 3 >Variety of sentence structure and length-"Many animals such as miniature horses, dogs, ferrets and even monkeys... guide animals."; All sentences are declarative. >Control of sentence structure. >Evidence of paragraphing
Page 101
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
SP A-9a
Page 102
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
SP A-9b
Page 103
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
SP Score Point 3+ >Variety of sentence structure, type and length. Uses compound, complex and interrogatory sentence structure ( ex.; sentences in first paragraph) and they are used throughout the paper. >Few fragments (sentences beginning with "And" and "So") for the length of paper. >Evidence of paragraphing
ssuper
Text Box
SP A-9c
Page 104
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
SP A-10a
Page 105
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
SP Score Point 4- >Rich variety of sentence structure, type, and length ("Did you know animals play an important role in different area?", "After reading... are great in battle and they help with people's needs." "In both passages they can help with people who often have seizures, and bring helpful items to people who are in terrible conditions.") >Few fragments (last paragraph) >Evidence of appropriate paragraphing.
ssuper
Text Box
SP A-10b
Page 106
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
SP A-11a
Page 107
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
SP A-11b
Page 108
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
SP Score Point 4 >Rich variety of sentence structure("My writing will include how they help people, how they are entertaining, and how they are helpful in our community.", "Animals can help the blind, people who can't control their movement, and people who are sick.""They like to pet, care, and love on them. Incorrect punctuation does not affect sentence variety. >Few, if any, fragments or run-ons for the length and complexity of the writing. >Evidence of appropriate paragraphing
ssuper
Text Box
SP A-11c
Page 109
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
SP A-12a
Page 110
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
SP A-12b
Page 111
ssuper
Text Box
SP Score Point 4+ >Rich variety of sentence structure, type, and length ("in this paper I will talk about what a hospital is like and why you need the animal to calm you, what kind of animal I think you might need, and what the animal should be trained to do.", "At the hospital I was in, they didn't have animals so it made it more scary then it should have been.", "Back to dogs.", "Don't let the animal growl or hiss at the person while the person is trying to pet the animal.") >Few, if any, fragments for the length and complexity of the writing >Evidence of appropriate paragraphing.
ssuper
Text Box
SP A-12c
WRITING/CONSTRUCTED REPONSE ANCHOR PAPER EXEMPLARS
GRAMMAR, USAGE & MECHANICS
Page 112
Page 113
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
GUM A-1a
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
Page 114
ssuper
Text Box
GUM A-1b
ssuper
Text Box
GUM S.P. 1- >Demonstrates little or no command of the conventions of standard English grammar and usage. as well as capitalization, punctuation, and spelling. >Errors are numerous and severely impede readability.
Page 115
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
GUM A-2
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
GUM S.P. 1 Demonstrates little or no command of the conventions of standard English grammar and usage as well as capitalization, punctuation, and spelling. >Errors are numerous and severely impede readability.
Page 116
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
GUM A-3a
Page 117
ssuper
Text Box
GUM A-3b
ssuper
Text Box
GUM S.P. 1+ >Demonstrates little or no command of the conventions of standard English grammar and usage as well as capitalization, punctuation, and spelling. >Errors are numerous and severely impede readibility.
Page 118
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
GUM A-4a
Page 119
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
GUM A-4b
Page 120
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
GUM S.P. 2- >Demonstrates limited command of the conventions of standard English grammar and usage (for a lot of thing, hear for hear, there arms, why your gon, grab thing, where there safe, see good, uses apostrophes for plurals -monkeys', farrits', keys') as well as capitalization (walmart), and spelling ( thank for think, some where, any where, robers engered, ar, rone, hevy, whell). >Errors are distracting and interfere with readability.
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
GUM A-4c
Page 121
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
GUM A-5a
Page 122
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
GUM A-5b
ssuper
Text Box
GUM S.P. 2 >Demonstrates limited command of the conventions of standard English grammar and conventions as well as capitalization, punctuation,and spelling. Exhibits many spelling errors of simple words (happin, bilding's, thoghe, saing, figger, attenchan, takes for talks, normalay, recuse, scrach, yoused, awspme,bomes, packiges, pertective, thar, carey) >Errors are distracting and interfere with readibility.
ssuper
Rectangle
Page 123
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
GUM A-6a
ssuper
Rectangle
Page 124
ssuper
Text Box
GUM A-6b
ssuper
Text Box
GUM S.P. 2+ >Demonstrates limited command of the conventions of standard English grammar and usage (thats for that's, there for their, to for too, are for our) as well as capitalization( reckless, korea, i'm) punctuation, and spelling(freinds,soldeirs). >Errors are distracting
ssuper
Rectangle
Page 125
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
GUM A-7a
ssuper
Rectangle
Page 126
ssuper
Text Box
GUM A-7b
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
GUM S.P. 3- >Demonstrates command of the conventions of standard English grammar and usage ( to for too, bring for bringing, situation should be plural) as well as capitalization, punctuation, and spelling (sevice,suplies, dilivering, giveing, transtortation, hores,jod) . >Errors are noticeable but do not interfere with readability.
Page 127
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
GUM A-8a
ssuper
Rectangle
Page 128
ssuper
Text Box
GUM A-8b
ssuper
Text Box
GUM S.P. 3 Demonstrates command of the conventions of standard English grammar and usage as well as capitalization, punctuation, and spelling. >Errors are distracting but do not significantly affect readability. >Few errors -to for too, "guideing", "hores", "carrie" and lacks commas in sentences that begin with a subordinate clause.
ssuper
Rectangle
Page 129
ssuper
Text Box
GUM A-9a
ssuper
Rectangle
Page 130
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
GUM S.P. 3+ >Demonstrates command of the conventions of standard English grammar and usage as well as capitalization, punctuation, and spelling. >Errors may be noticeable but do not significantly affect readability. >Few errors ( spelling erors -"disibilities", "ether"; agreement error- "they are going to have a seizure so its owner")
ssuper
Text Box
GUM A- 9b
Page 131
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
GUM A-10a
ssuper
Rectangle
Page 132
ssuper
Text Box
GUM A-10b
ssuper
Rectangle
Page 133
ssuper
Text Box
GUM A-10c
ssuper
Text Box
GUM S.P. 4- >Effectively demonstrates command of the conventions of standard English grammar and usage as well as capitalization, punctuation, and spelling. >Errors are minor and do not affect readability. First sentence of second paragraph has a few missing words.
ssuper
Rectangle
Page 134
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
GUM A-11a
ssuper
Rectangle
Page 135
ssuper
Rectangle
ssuper
Text Box
GUM A-11b
Page 136
ssuper
Text Box
GUM A-11c
ssuper
Text Box
GUM S.P. 4 >Effectively demonstrates command of the conventions of standard English grammar and usage as well as capitalization, punctuation, and spelling. >Errors are minor and do not affect readability( capitalizes medicine) Writer correctly uses commas in a series and to set off phrases and correctly uses hyphens.
