Why is it important to have good manners?

In essence, good manners mean you don't make others uncomfortable around you. It's not

just eating quietly and neatly, it's paying attention to the person who is talking to you, not

gossiping, laughing even if the joke isn't funny (as long as it is not crude). Good manners are a

form of caring.

They are also a bridge between cultures and lifestyles. Knowing the protocol of the other

culture is a form of good manners. Allowing others to have the spotlight is a form of good

manners.

If, by good manners, you are simply referring to table manners, put your napkin in your lap,

use your silverware from the outside in, tear your bread in bite size pieces before you butter it,

one piece at a time, and don't gulp. Chew with your mouth shut and wait until it is empty to

talk. Eat small pieces at once so you are not looking like a cow chewing cud.

It's just a matter of making sure others are not uncomfortable around you. That's really the

whole thing.

How would you feel if someone:

talked to your friend but turned his back to you?

pushed you out of the way to get the seat you were about to sit

on?

let the door slam in your face as

you were about to walk through

it?

shared your things but never

shared anything of theirs?

never said 'please' or 'thank you'

didn't pass your phone message

to your friend?

Good manners is about considering the feelings of other people, and being the kind of

person that others will like and respect.

In the 'olden days' children were taught about the Golden Rule - "Always do to others

as you would wish them to do to you if you were in their place."

This is still a good way to behave nowadays. If you are respectful to others, then you

are more likely to be treated with respect by them.

If you show good manners everywhere you go, then you are more likely to encourage

others to behave in the same way towards you.

Look at the following ideas from kids and see if you can think why they chose these

examples of good manners.

What good manners look like at home?

being helpful to others in your home

saying 'please' and 'thank you'

sharing and not grabbing and keeping good things to

yourself

respecting other people's property and their rooms

helping the family by doing your chores

cleaning up after yourself.

Manners at school

saying good morning/afternoon if

you are walking past an adult who

you know

asking if you can borrow something,

not just taking

returning things that you have

borrowed

waiting your turn before you speak

saying 'excuse me,' rather than

pushing past someone

holding the door open for the person coming in, especially if he is

carrying something

respecting your own and other people's property, especially school

property

saying 'please' and 'thank you'.

When you are out

If you are out with other kids...

Respect other people.

Be polite to others.

Don't use bad language in public - it

is offensive to others.

Let an older person have your seat

on buses, trains and trams if there is

nowhere for them to sit.

Queue up quietly and don't push.

Put your rubbish into bins, don't leave it for someone else to clean

up.

Have fun but don't be so loud that you attract the wrong kind of

attention.

Respect property.

Don't make fun of anyone - everyone has feelings.

Don't run in shopping centres or where there are other people.

If you are out with your parents or other adults...

Use your good manners so that you don't embarrass anyone.

Introduce any friends you meet to the people you are with.

Say 'please' and 'thank you'.

Don't be a 'canna'. ("canna have this?" and "canna have that?")

At the table

Use your knife to cut and your fork to put the food in your mouth.

Chew food with your mouth closed.

Ask for things to be passed to you, don't lean over the table.

If you need to blow your nose, excuse yourself and go out of the room first.

Don't grab everything you want first - help others to get their food and be prepared

to share.

Don't talk with your mouth full. It is not a good look!

On the phone

If you have to answer the phone, there are 3 important things to remember:

1. Say your telephone number and who you are, eg. 'Jane speaking.'

2. Never say, "Mum/Dad, or any other adult you live with, is out".

Say "----- can't come to the phone right now - may I take a message?"

You don't know whether the person on the other end of the phone is a would-be

burglar, so you need to keep yourself safe. Don't give out any other information.

The caller doesn't need to know if mum is in the bathroom or whatever!

3. Always write down messages including phone numbers and organise with your family

where the messages are to be put, eg. by the phone or on the fridge. The person

who gets the message can choose whether or not to phone back, but it is good

manners to let them know that they have a message anyway.

When you are using a phone

Negotiate with your family for length of time on the phone so that

one person doesn't use the phone for hours, making it difficult for

anyone else to use it. This is especially important if your internet

access uses the same line.

If you have a mobile, don't text or call someone when you're with a

friend unless you first ask if your friend minds.

If you get a call, say "excuse me" and move away from others to

answer it, then make it a quick call. (How would you feel if you were

just standing around while your friend was chatting away?)